Disruptive Behaviors in Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder 

This is what no one is willing to say out loud. As a parent of an ODD teen, my family has been held prisoner for the past 14 1/2 years and we are counting down to age 18 when our cell door will be opened and we will be set free. How sad and heartbreaking 💔 to feel that way. We should be talking about prom and graduation but instead we are talking about hiding the car keys and long term placement. 😞 There is no help, no advice, no therapy, doctor's, meds, NOTHING that actually helps. Meds might tone down the screaming but the behaviors don't actually stop. There is no punishment, consequence or anything. You just have to survive until they are 18.

My eldest son is currently facing this issue, but he is getting better now. I started noticing him having ODD symptoms early 2022. He did a lot of things in school which had annoyed friends, teachers and principle. And other parents started to complaint due to his behaviour towards their kids. He never listen, loves to argue, , he always want to win, always annoys others, easily annoyed by others and environment, frequent temper tantrums, and many more. He hated school, teachers, friends, everything about school. And everyday was a nightmare , waking him up for school was a real struggle, never without tears.😢 School asked me to take him for therapy after series of events involving him with other kids, teachers, unable to listen to orders and giving disturbance during classes. I was lost, kept asking why this thing happens, and what went wrong. Until there was this incident where he had caused injury to one of his teacher. And when the teacher asked him to say sorry, he kept himself silent. And when the teacher calmly said, "If you love your mother, then ask for forgiveness" . Nothing happened. He acted like nothing happened and I was shocked since it happened right before my eyes. Didn't he love me?? That seemed like a red signal to me. At home later that day, I asked him whether he loves me, and he said NO😭😭😭 with the look in the eyes full of revenge and hatred.😭 I prayed to Allah to show me the solution in Dec 2022 last year during my pilgrimage to Mekah. After listening to Dr's recommendations , sharings and comments from social medias, I changed my way of advising him. No more hanger, no more rattan, no more raising voice to him, always hug him, listen to him and makes him feel important. Always ask how was his day at school, etc. On April 2023, his school teacher informed me that they were shocked to see his changes. And of course I feel embarrassed, realizing that I was the one whom triggers this from the very beginning.😢 it wasn't his fault. It was me😢 Now I understand things slowly happened when I started having another baby and he felt neglected. He used to take all the blame even it was his younger brother's misbehaviour and I changed this behaviour as well. No more bias, be it you are older or younger. Has to be fair among sibling. I'm happy now that he sincerely confesses to me that he loves the new me and when I asked him why he recently behaved in school, he answered " I behave because I love you". He hugged me closely. I cried that day the moment I saw him as if I was looking an innocent baby whom I had 8 years ago. My bad, sayang. I am so sorry... 😔 In conclusion, violence never a solution to any misbehaviour/misconduct. Treat our children with love and respect. I have learnt the hard way. I hope others may give it a try too.

Most days I'm physically kicked and punched and bite the whole way to school and when I warn her I'll be telling the teacher she will go up to the teachers shouting she's been hit by me . Same in shops if she's not getting the exact amount of money she she scratch my arms whilst screaming she's getting attacked untill I give in . It is awful . Every hour of the day is a mental battle

My son is 7 and I have been working on helping him get through these destructive behaviors. A few weeks ago his teacher and school had a major problem. He got kicked out of daycare for his anger and he hurt another student. I had to get the paddle out. And you may not want to face the fact but it only took two times of him getting the paddle and he hasn’t been any trouble at school. I think he is growing out of his ODD🤞🏼Thank you for your videos!

I have ocd and odd and its a really bad combo let me tell you that much. One time when I was around 10 I wanted to tell my parents to wake up and my sister just knocked on the door instead of letting me tell my parents to wake up and when she went to get changed after (i didn't know she was getting changed) I was so angry at what she did that I pulled on the door handle to her room so hard the door unlocked from being locked and my sister was half-naked (I looked away as soon as I realized and don't remember seeing her thankfully) I felt so bad afterwards and all the anger when I look back turns into shame and embarrassment. ODD is the worst because you just annoy everyone around you all the time and no one enjoys being around you or wants to be your friend. At least people with most other disorders get a chance at not being hated by everyone in their whole grade or even their whole school and have a chance at making decent friends that don't get them in trouble like mine did and then eventually find you annoying as they get older. And then to think this is all your fault and the people you met aren't mean or anything like that, it's all you that's been the problem, its all too much to handle sometimes which is probably why people with ODD are at high risk for developing depression and anxiety, the worst disorder ever.

One of the most disruptive behaviours of mine that makes me become oppositionally defiant towards certain people is when I feel like those certain people are trying to control who I am as a person like I can't do things independently and when people don't let me do things independently or ask me to stay with them even when I promise them that nothing bad is going to happen to me then that's when I start becoming Oppositionally Defiant and that's the biggest problem with my ODD is I won't be Oppositional towards people who are always friendly to me and don't make me feel like their controlling who I am or what I decide to do for myself and others but I will be Oppositional towards people who always complain, argue and cause a fight with me when I do something wrong even when the things I do wrong rarely happen and with that been said I can easily fake my love towards people and completely abandon them later on in my life if they always complain, argue and cause fights with me over everything I do wrong even if the things I do wrong rarely happen or are accidental like the things I do at work where every once in a while a Customer will walk straight in front of me on purpose while I'm pushing and pulling trolley's just so I can accidentally hit them well when people complain, argue and cause fights with me and blame me for that type of stuff after they find out about those things I start becoming uncomfortable with those people and fake my love towards them and abandon them without them knowing and I do it by lying to them when they ask me if I love them or not by saying yes I do when I actually don't and later on in my life in about 5 years from now I'm going to completely leave those people's lives forever and not go over to see them ever again regardless if they want me to come over and see them or not.

Have the professionals ever thought that ODD and Conduct Disorder are no different than Antisocial Personality Disorder. Could it be that the kids have actual Antisocial Personality Disorder but they start out in “less serious” ways simply because they haven’t yet developed more complex ways of hurting people? It’s unfortunate that this video suggests that parents are unable to judge intentionality. These parents get their sole ripped out daily by their child’s behaviours on an almost daily basis, they live with this hell and are the best judge of intentionality.

For every family that goes through these struggles, you are not alone. I am not an expert at all, but have friends that are. My 6 yr olds behaviour can escalate in a blink of an eye and it can be crushing to the soul, especially when you have spent their lives trying to find a solution. All I can say is the gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviours and if you can try, thats a start... Its not for everyone and I know food also can be expensive... Just putting it out their. My firend has an autistic son who would have severe meltdowns everyday. Her friend in Australia recommended the GAPS book which is eliminating dairy/gluten. She was at the end of the line and tried. Its been 6 months and not one meltdown... I am going to do this for pur whole family. We are huge gluten/dairy eaters and it will be hard, but if we can limit the meltdowns and have a healthier family... Im willing to try anything.

Thank you so much for this information. Ive been at home waiting for a call from school for them to ask me to come pick up my 5 yr old, because he is having a meltdown and wont calm down and disrupts the class learning. I have been having anxiety over this since he started pre- k last year, and now he is kinder and here we are again... Everyday for me is waiting and wondering will they call me today and tell me he is having a bad day and to come pick him up. At times i feel like crying, and im just stressed and anxious the whole time.

My four year old son is really defiant he argues with his mom,grandma, grandfather, me, and he says things that make me wonder and a little worried that he has something going on up there, I remember when he was just a toddler around 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 he would throw himself back a lot on carpet flooring and a couple times he threw a tantrum outside and he hit his head on the concrete, I’m hoping it’s nothing that came from a brain injury that nobody caught

Exactly. I always take a look at if this is the illness talking it out is it her? You never want to punish the illness. And you always have to pick your battles.

My teen has been diagnosed with ODD, GAD, ADHD, Bi-Polar 2 - it’s like raising an angry bull that is ONLY happy when it is getting exactly what it wants all the time. Jokes on me… as a parent, that’s not possible. 😢

Both of my kids have been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and like one Dr told me .I can use all the parenting tools 🔧 in the world but unless they are on the right medication those tools are not going to work. HE WAS RIGHT! With meds my kids are responding to the parenting tools alot better

Such brilliant guys! Thank you so much! It's been very, very helpful.

Thanks for this video, I believe my son has this disorder. Now I just need to find interventions that work for him.

Very well explained!! Glad to see medical conversations are happening and treatment to help provide the necessary treatment for our children.

My son has both adhd and odd we use daily routine but its a struggle at times with hime and as well with school. What you said today on video i watched it was great infromation

ODD best describes my grandson who I basically have custody of. He feels like his mom cares more about her boyfriend than him. He goes to a child psychologist once a week. It doesn't seem to be working. This is absolutely breaking my heart. He is disruptive in class. 1st grade. Won't finish his school work. Won't do the work in the classroom. Somebody give me some advice on how to deal with him. Please. If I don't keep him he will go into Foster Care. Help me please

I have ODD and I'm adult and thank you for the information about ODD. Meagon

My daughter was diagnosed ODD with ADHD since she was 5. The only thing that has helped her is medication. For a long time it was heartbreaking.

My son has adhd and odd as well. His odd is constant. And I am beyond frustrated.

Excellent video I wish I saw this three years ago the sooner the better lol fantastic job explaining 👏 👍 thank you ❤️

ODD ..... I rather call it, not quite got the emotional handling skills. They just need loads of love patience and hugs. Picture cards are brilliant at reducing the ODD outbursts. The more peace and quiet they have the more time they have for working things out. Not everyone can handle the speed of life. A good walk in the woods can help ease things for them.

Every single morning I have the same issues getting my son to dress himself for school. He doesn't have the violent outburst with anyone else but me his mom. Others he will be defiant but every time he is told no or stop doing something and focus on what needs to be finished he becomes violent and yelling. throwing things at me or trying to break them. I dont know what to do. this morning he threw my phone at the living room tv and busted it.. Please any suggenstions

My fiancé has a kid with ODD. He fights over the simplest of things. She tells him to do something (anything) and he automatically argues and is constantly angry. He actually gets some strange pleasure from irritating people no matter their age. I’ve repaired several holes in our home walls that he either created by throwing things or kicking these holes. He calls her (and me) vile names. His general speak is nasty & mean even when he isn’t in a tantrum. I haven’t seen any true emotions from him other than anger. He can be very manipulative and vindictive. His own dad doesn’t even want to take him on his weekends because of his behavior. Also he is always getting in trouble at school for hitting other kids or teachers and using cuss words towards teachers and in general. He’s 12 yrs old. With simple tasks like getting dressed or tying his shoes he will get frustrated and angry. He’s always angry😔

So glad im not alone my 7 year old is a mess. I try so hard but w.e she does the younger 2 copy n it makes my home a shipwreck. She tortures her older brother n lil siblings. Dr said she has ADHD but i believe she has this too. At a point of time she was so sweet den she started having seizures at a young age n it fell apart. She makes me regret alot of this i dne ive said stuff i regret to her. I give her everything i never have. I love her dearly but jus cant deal with her. I find myself overwhelmed n cryn when she goes to sleep. Shed look at me wit demon eyes n jus keep goin..im lost too

i have a 2 year old who acts like all the comments i have read below. i’m so worried because her behavior continues to worsen. It went from tantrums to acting very aggressive and controlling . I have tried everything routine , baths before bed , music .. Her environment is very calm but she cries every single night when she has to go to bed she cries every single day about not getting her way she throws her self every where when she doesn’t get her way she just shuts down . I’m at my breaking point 😫 She is starting to act just like her dad he was very abusive and i think he has intermittent explosive disorder . how do i appropriately handle a two year old who is completely out of control . Spanking and time out has done nothing positive discipline also hasn’t worked 😭 I always thought distracting and redirecting behavior is a great way to avoid prolonged shit fits but not my daughter.

How did I stumble upon a video with Dr. Marshall

My husband has this..... & I am ADHD/OCD

Hello, this is my 1st time watching your videos, loved it, very informative. But can you help clarify something. My son is 10 years old and is a complete mixture of adhd, add, and odd. How do you handle that?

I can’t concentrate. I keep looking at his bow tie and expecting it to start twirling around any minute

I was diagnosed with adhd and odd as a kid and ocd as a teenager later on.

Thank you so much for this video, what strategies for educators do you have for helping children with ODD. I watched one video where the presenter states to just say " Do it or Don't do it" which then takes away the intention of gaining control. What do you think?

ODD is a symptom of XYY ( Jacobs syndrome). As in, a genetic origin.

I seen the persistent tantrum at two. But she didn't be diagnosed until 5. It was lasting for two hours. She was diagnosed with adhd and odd. Now at 11 she is diagnosed with dmdd. but yes. They can't help it. I explain it that it kinda like a seizure. Something in their brain goes off. My daughter always said she wants to be good but she said it's hard. But does dmdd come before conduct disorder? Because they said that dmdd is worse than odd.

My grandson exhibits defiant behavior that lasts two hours. He is mouthy and insulting. He kicks and hits. He breaks things. He is 8 years old. His behaviors started to really pick up when he was 7. He is so hard to handle. He takes medication that does not seem to be working.

WOW

My whole life was "Do this arbitrary task with no explanation. Don't ask questions! Just do it!" No! If you can't tell me WHY I'm doing something, why doi have to do it?!

My son has O.D.D. but so far, he's had great behavior at school (Kindergarten). He has some learning disabilities which we are navigating through right now, but no behavior issues at school. His behavior at home is horrible. He is argumentative with his siblings and my husband and I. Anytime he's told "No" he goes into a total meltdown. Why is his bad behavior seemingly reserved for home?

ODD leads to Narcissism?? 🤔🤔🤔 angry/ self centered/ blames others... 🤔🤔🤔

Im confused cause i was diagnosed with adhd and odd unless my doctors wrong

I nearly fainted with stroke . My son is so rebellious God help!

I seriously need help with my 26 yr old who uses he mental illness as a excuse to be defiant .She also won’t let go of the past ..

Just found out my daughter has ODD IT broke my heart

I have an 8 year old grandson who’s been diagnosed with ADHD & ODD. The local school district wants to place him in a residential school hundreds of miles away. I am against this option. I am looking for any suggestions where I might get him help locally with counseling and family counseling. I am also most certain he has some degree of autism but has never been diagnosed with it. Any suggestions where I can get help for him and my family would be greatly appreciated. We live near Beaumont Texas in southeast Texas.

stereo is reversed. youre not insane

Can a child have this, but only at home? Strong willed even at kindergarden, but no big battles with intentionality or long argumentative sessions to get something their way.

What is it called when a child with ODD never outgrows it, but it never gets to Conduct Disorder either. They're just 25 year old children with ODD now.

What’s the solution?

what a curse :(

Omg my son!! Please help us

first of all, these children might be FIXED signs

Yes and comes from Vaccine

Odd isn’t a real disorder. It’s just the moment when kids wake up and realize the people around them are no better than them.

To be honest, to me this all bad education and weak parenting