What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming & How To Properly Deal With It | Dissociation Disorders 

I have had this since I was 3 years old! It's been so addictive and I stopped doing it once my son was born last year. I've then got diagnosed with bipolar at 20 then bpd at 22 but no one took interest in the daydreaming and I'm so grateful you cover this topic! Your RU-vid channel saved my life and I've learned so many coping skills and understand my diagnosis. Thank you so much Kati!😁

I've had this since 7 or maybe younger... It's so emotionally satisfying... extremely addictive.

I'm seeing a lot of comments saying it's a positive for them or an escape, but for me, my thoughts/daydreams seem intrusive and keep me from actually living. They begin when I wake up and I have to do real life things to stop them; the temptation is to stay in them even when they're bringing me down. It's like I'm acting out scenarios where I stand up for myself to people, where normally I'm not that bold. I've been doing this since I was very young. The fantasy reminds me that I'm indeed not that bold and leaves me feeling even more powerless. Is this the same thing?

The weird thing for me is, I recognized that I used to do it due to anxiety and stress, especially as a child, but as I grew up and learned what "Maladaptive Daydreaming" was, I didn't stop. Instead I "re-organized" my time, I made sure I was taking care of my health, and socializing, reading, working, etc. Then I would schedule in an hour or 2, often the hour or 2 before I go to sleep, to allow myself to daydream or game or read, I'd often pick daydream, it's so vivid rarely do other forms of entertainment approach it. So I'm not certain if it'd be considered unhealthy or not tbh at this point for me.

And this maladaptive daydreaming increases when I listen to a song I vibe with or watch something inspirational because then I imagine how would I look if I were in that situation. Now many will say that it's a good thing because you're manifesting and using the law of attraction but I do it for hours which is not at all a healthy thing instead it's taking me away from reality especially when you're going through hard times like failing in main exams which will decide your college and hence future.

I'm 30 years old and have done this since childhood. I never thought to look into it until recently. It's so interesting and comforting to know I'm not alone. Thank you!

I love seeing Maladaptive Daydreaming getting some attention! I have ADHD and I’ve been doing this since about 5 years old. What started off as hyper-creativity, turned into a personal hell. Thank you for touching on this. I appreciate it!

I live inside of my head through maladaptive daydreaming a lot. It's like a vacation from toxic people or places. I'm not a head doctor, but maladaptive daydreaming is still safer than using drugs, alcohol, and/or sex as coping mechanisms.

It started as daydreaming, but it’s become such a big part of my life that I’m writing it as a novel now. I think that’s a healthy outlet for it. I don’t just stare at my ceiling and space out in a dream realm anymore 😂 I have a place to write it all down and journal it out; I think it’s at least more productive and easier to get away with in public.

Does anyone else have daydreams that are actually stressful in themselves? Like a high-stress situation or confrontation or emotional reunion with someone? I'm not sure if perhaps it needs to be "strong enough" to actually distract me from the trauma I was experiencing? Now I just want to help my system be calm though, so I'm struggling some!

Wow... this video spoke to me on so many levels. When I was a teenager and young adult I spent a lot of time in my daydreams because of the traumatic situation I was in at home. In my dreams I was able to confide, to trust, to be vulnerable with the characters my mind made up to comfort me. I remember hours of conversations with these imaginary "friends" / gurdians and even though I knew that what I was doing wasn’t "normal" I couldn't stop. When nobody was watching or listening I would go for walks actually talking to them, making up different voices, so it would feel more like an actual conversation. It's sad to think that my brain went to these extremes to "save" me but I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about what went on at home and certainly not my peers at school. Even to this day I still like to wander off into my own world when things get stressful. It's not nearly as intense as it used to be but I guess in a way it will always be there. A safe space I can retreat to.

I used to daydream for several hours as a kid (around age 6), but it wasn't daydreaming about myself; I had a character in my head that I would daydream about. I think it started as a way to fall asleep, but then I started to do it all the time. When my sister got too old to play with me, I started spending my time in this other world. I always, always listened to music and just created interesting scenarios in this character's life, usually inspired by whatever TV I was watching. From ages 7 to 14, I would run around my room, listening to music while daydreaming, usually for a couple to a few hours, but at some points in my life, I even spent probably up to like 8 hours or more daydreaming. I remember it never felt good when I daydreamed for more than a couple hours, but during those days, my character's life was much more interesting. And it was always this same character and his life. I have stopped daydreaming my days away; now I only daydream in the mornings right after waking up for a couple hours or in car rides. I really love my characters and their story and I don't want to give them up. They've lived with me for so long. Since I was 14/15, I have had this deep fear of having to give them up. I don't know why, but I just wish I could write their story, and for some reason, I feel like I'm not supposed to or can't. I don't know if it is fear stopping me, but this has become a huge anxiety/depression point for me. I miss them and I don't want them to go away forever.

I'm literally crying I'm so thankful to you that somebody is talking about it. It's actually serious and causes stress in real life when you are unable to cope up with the imagination world you created because of uncertainty happened in one's life. Anyway starting to cope with it and be realistic.🌸

Maladaptive daydreaming and being psychologically abused has completely crippled my life. I'm 26 and have spent most of my life terrified of the world and even though I want to connect with people I don't trust anyone

The part where you want to immediately return to the daydream after getting pulled out fits into dissociation as well. I believe that there are two main types of dissociation, one that we like and one that we don’t like. If I get pulled out of the first one, I am so sad and scared about the reality itself that I want to “leave” as fast as possible. I think maladaptive daydreaming checks every box of dissociation.

I didn't know about maladaptive daydreaming until a couple years ago when I decided to look up types of daydreaming and realizing this is what I do. I don't even remember when it started for me but definitely since I was a child. I thought I was the only one doing this.

Even though, we can manipulate what goes on in our daydream; maledaptive daydreams can be used like normal dreams to figure out if some things in our lives may be causing us some issues, that we aren't even aware of. Like, I've noticed that I tend to slip into my daydreams when I feel lonely or alone. Then I stay there for hours. My daydreams frequently consist of people I know or am fond of. Acknowledging this pattern, has helped me realize, that as someone who prefers to be on my own, I took my desire for solitude to an extreme and deprived myself of some minimal, but necessary socializing.

I’m so “good”at daydreaming that I can do it while I’m doing other things. When I was a child, my mom called it “staring”. She would say “Stop staring all the time!” So I learned how to “stare” while I was doing something like cleaning. The problem is that I tend to “stare” when people are talking and that isn’t helpful. I have to make myself pay close attention to what people are saying so I don’t drift off.

I've had this since being 5 yr, as a coping mechanism for trauma and chronic stress. It got really bad when I started university and I literally spent ALL days and nights on daydreaming, couldn't focus on anything, lost jobs, failed exams, just gave up on life. After therapy and meds, 2 years later, I'm a completely different person. I still have it and I probably will never stoo, but it's under control, I have scheduled time for it and can stop anytime when needed. The problem wasn't the daydreaming itself but the amount of time spent on it. I also have derealization and depersonalization disorder, panic disorder, had chronic depression, sleep disorders, OCD etc. Daydreaming was just another form of dissociation for me. I'm also autistic, and I heard it's common for autistic people and people with ADHD to have such issues.

I struggled with this as a child into my 40’s. It was a coping mechanism for a difficult and abusive childhood. In my fourties’ I was diagnosed with stress and anxiety and placed on medication for a time. During my medicated time I learned to better control my daydreaming. Now I see gaming took over where it left off. It’s very interesting how these two issues are related.

I’m so glad there is more information on this now! I never knew what it was called but new I was different. I’m so glad I understand it better now. I had a very stressful childhood and have been doing this my whole life. It peaked in my late childhood and early teenage years. I always thought once my life became more manageable or once I got older I would “grow out of it”. I still do it every day and im 34 years old with a job and 2 kids! I have it under control now and absolutely love doing it, I’ve realised it’s just what my brain does, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop… and I don’t want to! I can’t imagine life without it, it has helped me so so much 💜

I thought my therapist was giving me bad advice when she said "if you find yourself in one of your daydreams or in a thought spiral, imagine a big red stop sign and just stop yourself" I thought it was silly because the whole problem was I couldn't stop myself but not I realize what the actual lesson was : recognize when it starts and remember to use your coping tools. I thought she just didn't understand how hard it was to stop but that's not what she meant, she wanted me to finally gain control over my mind (at least a little bit to start) and the silly red stop sign does actually remind me to stop and assess.. All this to say, it may seem difficult, and the tools may seem silly, but there IS a bigger effect down the road, unfortunately practice and mistakes are necessary. But the most important factor is self reflection, what worked, what didn't and why, how can I do better next time. ♡♡♡♡

I was already day dreaming by the middle of the video 😂😂

My life has been so full of trauma that this is the only way I am surviving now. I look forward to my times of doing this. I get as I have my breakfast and coffee I am already looking forward to what I call it, "leaving reality". I eat lunch and then I lay down and leave reality again and diner and try to watch RU-vid awhile all the while I am waiting for the time to lay down and leave again. It runs my life. I have about five different stories I tell in these times I leave. As I write this I am being pulled to get done so I can lay down and leave reality. My real life has been filed with so much abuse I do not want to be in it. Because of my belief in God I will not end my life. If I did not believe in God and the hope of being with Him some day and out of this life I would have ended it a long time ago. I do spend as much time in pray as I can but my "leaving reality" is an addiction. When I was implanted with a pain pump for my back pain I had to stop taking Oxycodone. When I was taking Oxycodone I would take it and then before time for the next dose I would start to go through withdrawal. My addiction with wanting to "leave reality" feels the same way. I get the same feelings in my chest until I have to shut of the lights and lay down and leave. Right now my body is craving my time of leaving. I am having the same feelings I did when I would crave my next Oxycodone. I could go on and on about what I am trying to escape from that would take pages. I am writing "The Story of my Life" to try to get it all down in words and when I can stay her long enough to write I am seeing things I see in other of your videos. I am trying to write the part now as to how my parents were not there emotionally for me. My dad never did anything fun with me. I grew up on a farm and was alone all the time. Well if anyone read this far thank you so much. I need to "leave reality for awhile!! Kati if you read this thanks for your videos. Some of them really hit home.

This video is so well done and polished. It’s also really informative and people don’t usually talk about this topic.

I’ve struggled with this for a long time. EMDR (not for the daydreams but for CPTSD) has helped a lot. It’s slowly stopping as I deal with the real issues. I’m now doing primarily CPT and EMDR only when needed. This video is very helpful, thank you.

I've been doing this ever since I remember, my parents often got into fights ,and it was cartoons which helped me runaway from all those noises, when I was 17 lightning struck again. And that's when i started watching animie. It was so peaceful, the entire anime world. I can say for sure it saved me from suicide, specially after watching "silent voice".I messed up an important exam because of animie addiction too, and that was a waste. Every now and then when I get stressed or see my parents argue I fantasise myself as an animie character, in a plot I created. Its soo satisfying. But I know my world is far from fantasy and I'm trying to say goodbye for my imaginary world.Thank you for the video,even though I'm still not sure if I want get out of my shell, you really helped.

I didn’t realize that’s what I’ve been doing for years. This really was informative.

I interact with my dream friends

Not me literally going into a dream, talking to you about how I want to stop maladaptive daydreaming while watching this video. I was so dumbfounded when I realized. It happened so quick. That was crazy.

Just realised that I have this! I have been struglling with not being able to fucus always listening to music and disosiating to forget reality and my misery. I always thought it was just a dissociation and no big deal untill it stopped me from living life, being happy, feeling alone, isolating myself from people to be with my made up friends in my daydreams. Pacing around my room for hours a day not being able to stop.

I didn’t even know this was a thing and I’ve been doing it almost my whole life. It’s especially noticeable in my early report cards when I was very young in school and every report card mentions my day dreaming. The alternate life that I lived in my head was very compelling and comforting to me. I do it now as well but I have somewhat of a handle on it because I am able to function and take care of my needs and work at my career. But I’m sure it is disruptive and it sometimes takes my attention away. Thank you for giving a name to this and for providing some coping strategies.

Thank you for this video. For a teenager with plans, ambitions, and dreams, this feels like living in hell. Realizing how many thousands of hours I've wasted and how my ability to focus has significantly dropped makes me feel desperate, and I still can't escape it. It's already torturous. The dreams themselves are even worse-more stressful and exhausting-for I am naturally melancholic. Thinking about this embarrassing and useless daydreaming (well for me total waste of time energy and mentality yet I still can’t stop it, it’s like loop that makes me mad) makes me feel nauseous, almost like jumping out of the window.

After watching this video I daydreamed about taking a therapy and stopped having daydreamed

The moment I learned about maladaptive daydreaming It stopped without trying. It becomes so hard for me to daydream .. it’s been nearly 1 year and I miss daydreaming because my reality sucks 💔

I have been maladaptive daydreaming since I was a kid. I legit had an imaginary friend. I always remember feeling so lonely and helpless. I was abused and bullied physically, mentally, sexually and spiritually. I was recently diagnosed with Anxiety/Depression, Adult-ADHD and a bit of PTSD. I Didn’t tell my care team about the daydreaming… it’s bad though. It feels so good to get lost but it literally last hours even when I’m doing normal day to day things.

I've had maladaptive daydreaming since young childhood. I was a very advanced toddler and child. I knew my ABCs, could count to 10, and was potty trained by 18 months. I had a sister who married a sadist when I was 4. She was the oldest sibling and I was the youngest of 6 kids. She is about 16 years older than me. My parents were older when I was born and their patience and energy had declined a lot by the time I was born. They had no intention of having another child and weren't exactly thrilled by my existence. But, they did their best I suppose. Because I was advanced, they didn't really have to work with me, and I was usually low keyed and quiet as long as nothing was tormenting me. I was very different than other kids and suffered a lot of bullying. I always loved learning, but hated school due to the social aspect of it. Kids can be extremely cruel. My oldest sister had 8 kids and the oldest was 5 years younger than me. I loved being around my nephews and nieces (as long as they were somewhat calm) but their Dad was the thing of nightmares (literally). When I wasn't in school I was usually sent to stay with my sister to help her with the kids. I was constantly exposed to all manners of abuse and psychological torment. Even being held under water till I would nearly pass out at age 8 or 9. My parents mostly ignored me and I had a lot of emotional abuse, but occasionally I was physically abused. My older brothers also picked on me all the time. So, school was hell, my sister's house was hell, and my house was hell. I would always rock as long as I can remember and I was very literal and a concrete thinker. Now I understand that I probably was on the autism spectrum, but back then, I was just weird and embarrassing. At school I didn't rock because I knew it would be bully fuel, so I would swing at recess instead. This was all in elementary school. It would swing morning and afternoon recess, and after lunch. It was my time to escape and pretend to be all alone. I started maladaptive daydreaming around age 8 and I started doing it while I was rocking at home, while I was swinging at school, and during class, which was a combination of agonizing boredom and social anxiety. I will be 50 next month and I still struggle with this. I turned to mobile games to counteract it, and now I'm attached to those too. I really think it becomes an addiction. I never was into drugs or alcohol, but maladaptive daydreaming became my addiction - and now mobile gaming too 🙄

Since look down l have been daydreaming what ever I desire it is so addictive that I couldn't stop myself. I was not able to sleep because of this and it affected my studies very badly. I also isolated myself and became very underconfident and shy slowly then. I also imagine stories at night and it was very hard for me to fall asleep. But I am very good in my studies stress, pressure and desire for my goals became the reason for my daydreaming. Because if this I was not able to think and focus and I also have headache cause of this. Now I myself is trying to cope up with this by dealing with stress, socializing myself, being busy, exercising and and self talk. This things can be satisfying but belive me it is very addictive and its gonna destroy your future and present. See like me you are also strong and can cope up with this and all your stories are LIE you need to come in reality. Have faith in yourself and make a self commitment with proper decepline you can cope up with this.

Very interesting video and topic iv honestly not heard of maladaptive daydreaming until now but I can relate to decociasion because I do it often thanks for sharing this video Kati❤️

The only time I’ve ever had the ability to control this was when I was in college, because, even thought I had a single dorm, Iived in a seriously old building and I didn’t want people to hear me pacing for hours or for someone to know on my door and me not ear it. It got a lot easier then, and I do it less now unless I’m really stressed. I try to keep myself busy but sometimes the urge is just too strong. I usually have intense daydreaming episodes (pacing and such) about 4 times a week. In high school it was at least once a day.

Using TV and deeply associating into what's going on sounds like a similar choice that many of us do. Great video, many thanks and your suggestions are awesome.

Thank you for always dealing with sensitive topics in a respectful, informative and professional way. I have learnt so much from your videos ⚘

I would spend hours daily day dreaming in my last relationship, with a video game obsessed husband who chronically ignored me and emotionally and financially abused me. I wasn't aware there was a name for it, but my daydreaming greatly lessened when I was able to remove myself from that intolerable life.

I have no control in my life, career or living arrangement. Maladaptive daydreaming is all I have.

I love the last tip. It seems like that’s going to be the most effective for me. Thank you so much for this video. I’ve had it since I was 10 or even younger. Never thought it was a problem because I saw it as my safe place. I always look forward to daydreaming and being in my world. A world I can control and that is free from evil or loss of loved one. The only down side for me honestly is that it prevents me from being so productive. Other than that, I love it because it’s emotionally satisfying. I will definitely adopt the last tip and incorporate it into my daily schedules so I don’t keep zoning out at intervals.

Oh my God... this is a bombshell. Im 20 years old and have been doing this since I was 9(had minor repetive trauma). I already have ADHD and I just dont know anymore. I thought I could really achieve normality. I really cant anymore.

Guess I’ve had this my whole life!

Maladaptive daydreaming is NOT a form of dissociation, it's a form of obsession-compulsion, or addiction.

Why do we want to stop it?

To be honest, i think i might have/had it. I experience super vivid daydreams like that and sometimes to escape reality when im anxious, but it doesn’t affect me. Im doing fine in school, doing fine socially, so i don’t really have to care anyway, which leads me to believe i might not have it. Since i was 7 or something i would have these daydreams with all these complicated storylines and characters and action and so i began writing it all down. Soon enough, there was a whole goddamn world in my head i would just pull out and make stories within, which i still do to this day. At first i was led to believe it was just me having an imagination, which could be true, but im not so sure about that. When i was in 3rd grade, i switched schools and i had no friends, so to entertain myself i would stare at the ground, walk around the feild and let my mind run wild. Everyone thought i was a weirdo and my teachers got concerned that i was lonely, but i didn’t need any friends at the time because i would get so immersed i could just keep myself busy like that. However, i always had the control to shut it off and when i feel the need to daydream im able to focus on the task at hand and daydream at a more appropriate time. So im very confused. Maybe im just weird as fuck

thank you Kati, I know I did this as a child. I remember a James Bond fantasy pretending to be on a secret mission to save the world. The maladaptive thoughts would sometimes cut in when I was riding my bike, or in the shopping mall

The thing people don’t understand about maladaptive daydreaming is that it’s so addictive and comforting thag for me - if it was taken away from me I would feel so depressed and horrendous.

I have this disorder since I was a child. I still have it and even when someone is talking to me I can day dream and still answer the questions. I've got it down to an art but I try not to let it overcome me. Only when I get very depress over something I use it to get me through the tough times so its a sort of two edge sword. But its all a learning process of life. :)

I know I should do something about this, it has taken over my life. I’m 27 and I haven’t done anything beneficial with my life since graduating college, I’ve never even had a job, all my friends have gone off living their lives, getting engaged and I’m still in a rut at home. I go to look for jobs or I have an idea of what I want to do, and I get so excited to do it, but then I don’t go ahead with it, I don’t know why. And then my mind goes into this daydream where my life is so much better. I’ve got the job, I’ve made new friends, kept some of my old ones, took different pathways in life, I’m a superhero in one and get saved by a superhero in another. Normal people or celebrities that I like I end up in relationships with. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to leave this dream world, it’s like my home now. I’m safe there, I’m happy there, but I know I need to get help.

I've been doing it since childhood and thats been a while. Two or three story lines at a time and throughout the day move from one to another. Extremely detailed and me as one of or the main character, always loved or respected, part of or center of friendships and group relationships (which my life has never been) Years ago it was an issue and I even figured that out on my own. I would strongly internally become upset when real people would come into my day and make me STOP my fantasy world. I'd be quick with them and get back into it. These days I still do it but my life had become a lot more full with responsibilities and working with others......but I still love my Stories!!

I've done this since I was little kid. And I'm almost in my sixties. What you're saying is exactly what I've been doing for decades. Exactly. 😮😮😮

im 12 now and i have realized that if you focus hard enough you can start to feel what you think of helping you get over stress and anxiety and this can help to get rid of anger issues by imagining a scenario and thinking of the bad thing that happened to you and imagining the worst possible outcomes (as in anything else bad that can happen) so if it happens to you are prepared for it and this works with most things that you cant get over with and im talking from experience.

I just do it at just about any quiet moment, or during repetitive actions. It’s made me late for work almost daily for years, and made me struggle in school due to just how prevalent and overpowering it is. Imagine taking a shower, and then an hour passes and only the sting of absolutely freezing water will “wake” you, regardless of how many times you tell yourself “I’ll be quick.” or “absolute no zoning out.” it just doesn’t change anything. Regardless of stress, my little world is what I go to. Any level of boredom, rather I’m happy, or if Im feeling overwhelmed, it happens regardless. I’m not diagnosed as having PTSD, but I probably should seek out a professional about it. I have anxiety and OCD without question. What I will add is that bringing others into that world helps out quite a bit. Yes, it still exists but instead of acting as my world I used to hide away in, it’s becomes a game of planning out events to later play out. Ironically, it turned into a social activity for me. I have other lesser “worlds” but my focus has alwasy been on the one I turned into a little roleplay world. It’s been ongoing for five years this way, turning something I’ve done since I was a child into something enjoyable and much more gratifying. Feels good to be a little more grounded, having a second person in that space really helps.

You should consider using Oneirogenic herbs to see if you can gain control over the Maladaptive Daydreaming. Oneirogenic herbs are specifically used for dreaming and other related topics.

I grew up with a mother with narcissistic personality disorder, maladaptive daydreaming was my coping mechanism to the trauma, I created a life I'd rather live and there was a time I was dissociating so much that I thought it was some kind of premonition of how my life was supposed to be so I try to act like this character I made up in my head and I hope that my life would somehow become my daydream, over the years I changed my motive about it and started seeing it as an actual story. And now in my adulthood, I took the characters from my daydreams gave them a storyline with lessons about life. And I'm now working on my drawing skills to hopefully make it an animation series one day.

Is it bad that I couldn’t stop staring at ur shirt. It’s literally amazing😭😅

I think feeling 'underwhelmed' is as much as a portal as feeling 'overwhelmed'.

The fact that I started daydreaming during this and didn’t even remember half of the video…

What a beautiful top you’ve got, Kati 😍😍😍

I’m 15 I’ve been doing this for the past 2-3 years a little after when my mom passed. I don’t know if I did this before but I didn’t have the best childhood. I was mentally and physically abused by my mother and step father and biological father. Sexually abused by my 7 year old cousin when I was at least 5 and by my 2nd brother when I was 3. They never believed me and even had a children family we give case open just for my mom and step father to tell me to tell the people I was lying so I did and that was closed. Then when I was 12 I finally had the balls to e-mail cfs on my school iPad in 6th grade one morning after my mom had choke me to damn near passing out the day before and a few days before that. I knew I was in huge trouble becausr I missed the bus that day and tried walking to school to avoid whatever punishment was coming my way bc I knew that I was in for it bad after the event so f yesterday happened. They came and took me from school two days later and I went to foster care in Massillon. It was a huge change.since they picked me up front school without me knowing they was coming to get me so I didn’t ge to say goodbye to the only people who treated me good at school or get any of the dirty clothes my parents had me wearing. The environment for one. The learning was different bc I switched to a predominantly white school with an more advanced curriculum that the black charter school I was going to. And Making friends again was hard which I struggled with for a decent amount of my life so I ended up developing abandonment and detachment issues bc I did move around a lot before foster care so I just keep to myself and try to avoid making friends. I feel like all this stuff led to me being a maladaptive daydreamer and I wase always weird as a kid at home. But when you’re treated like a caged animal it kinda fucks with you at a age that young. My step dad got a little worse after my mom passed I.e yelling wt me and blaming me for my mom death and doing so in public. He would just accuse me for random shit and sometime throw shit at me. I know he was emotional bc his wife jus passed but you can go around telling people that in public bc I didn’t really care abt him telling me st home. I got numb but when he started doing it when my only friend secretly girlfriend at that time was over I started effecting me w little. That’s when I discovered music(yes my mom had me that secluded from social media and the world. If i knew about something it wa s through word at school or I got access to the internet when we went to phone stores)on the phone my sister gave me(it was her old iPhone) I started to feel like I was in certain scenarios based on the vibe of the music and it helped me out with my situation with him. He snapped one day and just dumped me off at my brother house without letting me get any of my stuff so I’ve been living here got the past 2 years and it just turned into an addiction and obsession so as ybose 2 years passed I have a album in my photos of my favorite fictional characters( marvel and dc) and whenever I’m watching something on tv or listening to music I just open that album and pretend that whatever I’m listening to or watching is apart of my scenario and when I look at the characters in the album I feel like I’m bonding with them and it strengthens the daydream bc it feels like I’m more connected with them and they’re like my imaginary friends. It’s hard to explain and I’m sorry for this whole dump but once I started I couldn’t stop typing. But I seriously think I need help. I left out a lot of stuff bc I tried to just keep it simple and short but shut just kept flowing back to me at different moments as I was typing so some shit is out of order. Whoever does read all this please tell ‘me if I should get help or if anything is concerning bc I have nobody to confide in lol

It helps me forget why I'm alone and miserable but also is the reason why I'm miserable

few wrong things you said about it: 1. actually you can easily be thorn out of your daydream it just doesn't feel good 2. you think of it as kind of disassociation but it's not. we are completely aware. 3. the daydreams are not "less stressful". sometimes we create stressful or harming/self-harming/grieving scenarios of emotional pain in a way to cope with our emotions from the real world. 4. going for a walk will automatically trigger your daydream instead if preventing it. Thought the time management and the grounding help to manage .

I am 18...since I was young I have been living in a very difficult and restrictive environment like a prison...two years ago I had traumas and started daydreaming a year ago...it became scary how it could steal the whole day and prevent me from studying and living...music (which I've always loved it) It makes me dive into these daydreams...I love music so much and now it's addictive because it makes me daydream.....my environment is hard and I'm not allowed to go out...but I was once without daydreaming and in the same environment...really I'm suffering😭😭😭

Thank you Kati I saw this first on your Instagram. I really appreciate your help in understanding my own problems. I completely relate to this as have been doing it for years, losing time, describing my daydream out loud, which leads to paranoia and really negative self criticism.

I used to do it a lot when Inwas a kid and in my teens year. It was the life I wanted but not possible at all. At some point It was frustrating that I wasn’t enjoying my life and keeping focusing on things inachievable. I realised it was a kind of escape and I wasn’t doing anything to live the life I want so I trained myself to stop doing this.

i wish you’d explain why it’s a bad coping mechanism because i’m sober, im not around toxic people, im celibate, ive done countless therapies, i do what i can to take care of myself, so what’s the damage? surely this is a healthy coping mechanism in comparison, im legit just sat in my room doing no harm to myself or others. why do i need to stop?

Its all fun and games until you're mid thirties, and neglected living your own life. And have nothing to show for it. And can't stop if you tried. Its addiction territory now. It takes up hours of your day. This weekend was just all daydreams. I Haven't done all I needed to do. Now its go back work tomorrow. And I have no groceries. And still need to do laundry and shower and dishes and vacuum. But its 10pm at night. (If you're younger reading this, find a way to stop it getting to my level before it does. Because left given full reign, reign it will...control it.. )

This started happening to me 2 years ago, I literally can't stop it's addicting, I daydream for 5+ hours a day

Dissociation is the same no matter the vehicle used. Whether you have the sort of mind that can create a world to escape into, or whether you use gaming to escape. Or drugs. It’s all about getting away from the here and now, to avoid dealing with things you feel you can’t. Or maybe you get a glimpse into another world where You feel empowered and alive…the “first time in” is like when you hear addicts talk about that first hit…and then chasing that from there on. When AOL chat rooms were a thing, I got lost in that for a couple years back in the early 90s. I had a relapse on Kik a couple years ago that literally almost destroyed My life. I got utterly lost there, 90 percent of my energy, my life, was spent there. 😞 my mind does wander and I do spend a lot of time day dreaming…it seems less likely to hurt those around me but it is no less detractive. Again this is all addiction. The same. There is a commonality among us…some things lacking from the start. Societally speaking, that is on the rise..we are producing more and more children who are emotionally Ill equipped and at the same time, with all of these distractions and escapes that are so easy and immersive and readily available it’s no wonder we struggle.

This is where I’ve created my best music , writing and art . Yet it’s so true that it’s made it difficult to get connected to people

For me whensoever i have kept myself busy i have not had time enough to daydream. I still do it for a little time to keep my dream(life goal) fresh. It keeps the reason alive, the reason why i am persuing whatsoever it is that i am pursuing.

I've been doing this since i was a kid (abuse, neglect, loneliness, the usual 🥴) and I've recently started to feel like it's becoming too much of an issue in the last year or so. I just turned 32 and i took nearly 2 weeks off work for my birthday. I couldnt afford to go anywhere but i thought i could use the time to get some stuff done or do some things i enjoyed around the house. Well that turned into me laying in bed MDing for days at a time. I should have been relaxing or being productive in a normal way, instead i was living in a fantasy world of my own creation. I go back to work tomorrow and i have left all my chores til today to complete. Now i am stressed and rushed and i feel ill at ease. The problem is...this is one of the few things i enjoy in my life. The characters and plotlines are like old friends at this point and i don't know that i even want to stop MDing, but i know i have to. It's not healthy anymore, if it ever was. But this makes me so sad, like im having to kill off part of myself. Idk how im going to do this.

Shit…..it’s like I’m slowly unlocking every single compartment that comes with my ADHD, learning disability, sensory processing, anxiety and BPD that I never really examined or thought existed. Complex trauma from childhood, doing things I never wanted to do but have no choice, the stress of real life, the stress of my poor executive function(and learning disability) not adapting to the mundane and demands of modern life, having a hyperactive mind which can make me inattentive to real life tasks….the list goes on, lead me to be a chronic daydreamer..since childhood. Something that’s helped me cope in those moments of on going stress, has also hindered me due to how easy and distracting it is. My best memories from childhood were actually my daydreams and sensory sensations I had with them. My Daydreams are a mix of nostalgia, sensory seeking, hyperactive thinking, what I wish I could do and gratification. It’s like my mind is overcompensating for things that would probably be more harder or stressful to attain in real life…definitely need to get help for this…wow

Of course you can't really diagnos yourself online, but it can show you clues. When I was younger, I didn't really think about those "invented lives" (still do have them btw), sometimes its when I'm bored, stressed, at peace, depressed, etc. The rare times I get for myself too, I can just fly off to my world(s). Another ex: I'm alot on RU-vid when I don't work, just to have time for me, and recently, even sometimes I have to pause a video to daydream (but mine aren't for hours, but you know...) Also I think its a fact as well, but you get really attached to the characters... I've felt bad about "leaving" a certain world

It's been almost 3 years that I've been so lost in daydreaming. I keep thinking what I would do if I had to defend myself & it feels satisfying to do so but in reality nothing changes & I just feel even more miserable than before . Most of the reason are my past friendships that I messed up. But I'd also sometimes daydream about stuff like sharing my stories with someone maybe because I feel lonely? I dunno why anymore ......

I did this a loooot as a kid, consciously taking deep dives into subconsciousness, sometimes for hours in la la land. As an adult, it’s become more subconscious and debilitating. Occasionally, I fall into autopilot and must snap myself out, force myself to focus on work, studying, chores, and even driving… it can be frustrating, mentally exhausting, and yes, dangerous 😢

Hi. Patrick from Mind Life Flow here...thanks for your information on maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation. Useful information for so many people and being able to access it here on the web - makes it available to all! Thanks

You presume we have friends, my maldaptive daydream is that I still have friends and a social life.

I used this as a coping mechanism , but I would get things done,I had a real boring job so to pass the time I made up movies or stories in my mind. I had a bad childhood so it helped me cope with the world.

I've dealt with this, or atleast something like it for most of my life. Unfortunately, stresses and hurtful things from reality have pretty much always followed me into the fantasy. I've managed to keep it more hidden after being found having full conversations in silence, and even acting out the scenario without fully noticing or knowing i was doing so.

Another interesting video Kati! Also, I love the blouse! Bright vivid colors are a great look on you. For some reason, Frida Kahlo, the artist came to mind as I looked at it. Love her work, and she’s a very interesting person.

Walking makes me daydream more xddddd But thank you so much for the video! I found the grounding techniques very interesting I'll try them out :)))

I've had maladaptive daydreaming since I was 11 :( It was fun at first but now my studies are really important and its a big obstacle for my studies. Im really scared for my future :(

I grew up abused, neglected, and ridiculed so I learned this coping skill early on. Mostly to survive CPTSD! While it helped me stay sane as a kid it’s now a hinderance. Unfortunately even though I’ve been in recovery for 13 years it’s still undermining my life. I do have great friendships and other things going on but I still fall into this, especially since I had long term health issues that have kept me from engaging with life. I don’t like being me. Even though I’m very accomplished in some ways it’s not good enough. Part of me still feels weak, wimpy, ugly, stupid, clumsy, unlovable, like an embarrassment, etc etc etc. 😢

I just did it watching this video. I hate doing it because people catch me doing it and I look and feel crazy

I think I have been doing maladaptive daydreaming all my life. I just realised recently how I would always pull myself away from people or daily activities just to daydream. Even whilst doing my fav hobbies, I'd put everything aside just to daydream for hours. And I keep on getting my memories mixed up. I get confused if what I remember was reality or from my daydream. I always need to clarify with my friends. I initially thought this is just a recent thing, but actually it happened even in childhood which I didn't realised. One example was in Elementary School. I'd hangout in the library at times, and I saw this girl all the time. In my mind, we made friends and talk sometimes, until one day I approached her IRL, and she was creeped out and asked, "Sorry who are you? I don't know you". That's when I realised I've never spoken to her before. I grew up believing I had the best childhood. But when I actually sat down and recall, it was the opposite. But thanks to my daydreaming, I made good memories. It is an interesting discovery.

How do you break away from characters you've created since childhood and are almost 49 years old ? I've tried and my OCD came out. I try to say goodbye but it turns to grief.

Damn, i just discovered about "Maladaptive Daydreaming" now and i got teary while whatching the video... I am a hardcore daydreamer since always and i thought it was just my personality. The thing is, for the last months its getting worse since my life is in standby, i am daydreaming all day about a celebrity crush. I didn't had one since teen, now i am 31yo and is really hard to work and just do the basic things i have to do because of this excesive daydreaming where i meet, fall in love, even break up with this singer over and over in my imagination like if it was a movie that i can control. I will put into practice the advices from this video and keep learning about this dissociation disorder. Thank you!

While it does get out of hand it really shouldn't completely go away from us either.

I do this all the time, honestly i don't do it to run away from something, it got worse during pandemy when i didn't have much to do, and nowadays reality just seems so boring when compared to that "dreamlife". I know anxiety is problem related to that too, and it's just so frightening cause i know i'm losing a huge amount of time, and that makes me sad. Since i was a kid i've always enjoyed reading and watching fiction books of all kinds, and, when pandemy started i just started doing out of boredom, i would imagine myself on those stories like game of thrones and think "what would i do if i was this character". But then it just started to get addicting, in those daydreams i'm just so awesome, i imagine myself beeing, pretty, incredibely smart, powerful and confident, i'm always solving the problem and saving the day. And whem i "come back to reality" i look at me and think that i'm not even half of what i'm in that "other world". I don't like talking about cause it just feels so childish, and stupid. I'm 18 now, i should have gotten over that right? Anyways, i just wanted to spit it out here cause i have never told that to anyone.

I have adhd and autism and I do it because I get chronically bored. I've done it since I was about 7.

Sounds like self-preservation.

May or May not have slipped into another one while watching this 😬

What about negative maladaptive daydreaming? I usually imagine negative situations and talks. Like a lot of "what if" situations. I already did that as a child. Even though my life was and is already difficult enough. I don't really know why I do it, it just happens. And since I'm severely chronically ill (mostly bedbound), I can't even distract myself 😔

I had this growing up from grammar school until 8th grade. Once I started highschool it became less and less. Nowadays I rarely day dream at all anymore. However, the daydreaming all those early years had an affect on my mental health, which in turn has affected the way i think and act as an adult. I sometimes wonder how much of a negative effect all that disconnection in my formative years had had on my adult mental health, and actions.