Why are Shame & Trauma so Connected?

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I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Опубликовано:

14 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 616

@_just_TK 5 лет назад

Negative Voice: “it’s Monday, the worst day of the week!” Positive Voice: “Kati releases videos on Mondays.” Negative Voice: “Touché, you win this round!”

@dancinglightsamv466 5 лет назад

TK I love this

@fujoshipeanut5074 5 лет назад

Hmm... Maybe that's why she chose Mondays...

@emosag 5 лет назад

Haha yes! I’m gona have to make watching these videos a Monday ritual

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Love it!! xoxo

@gokselpeduk533 5 лет назад

@@Katimorton love your videos

@wanderingpaladin4927 5 лет назад

I feel deep shame when I make the smallest mistakes, and I don’t know why. Edit, 3 years later: Looks like I had a lot of really fucked up repressed trauma, I've been dealing with it and learning to love myself over the years. It's been a long journey, but I'm so so glad I've changed my outlook on life for the better since the day I wrote this comment. I wish peace and happiness to you all :)

@5529kris 5 лет назад

Humor helps... Try to find something funny. Then you dont feel as bad. Laugh at yourself. I wish you can overcome this 💞🙏🎶 I love music 🎶

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

You may want to talk with your therapist about this.. it could be related to trauma, self esteem, or anxiety. xoxo

@atheris1641 5 лет назад

Me too :(

@JonasAnandaKristiansson 5 лет назад

Childhood reasons. Go "soul searching" and get through the horrors of it and come out stronger and of clarity

@willd6215 5 лет назад

I feel shame when i interact with friends and family.

@kellyv6075 5 лет назад

I've heard from a lot of therapists and other sources that you do not have to fear for your life to be traumatized. Like rape. It's often something hugely scary or painful against which you feel powerless.

@stephanieblenman6004 5 лет назад

Kelly Vincent this! Or else how would there be “little t traumas”

@tdesha100 5 лет назад

I was thinking the same thing

@SuspiriaX 5 лет назад

How is pain not threatening to any living being? How is something "hugely scary" - as you worded it beautifully - different to fear (for your life) ? If someone puts a fake gun at your head and you don't know it's fake, do you think you'll be less traumatized? If someone rapes you: What else could they be capable of?! How do you NOT fear for your life?! The door to traumatization of the nervous system opens when facing a real OR perceived life-threatening situation of which one cannot escape. That includes loved ones being threatened, or the loss of them. Especially under more acute circumstances.

@moralebooster8437 5 лет назад

Also you dont have to actually experience a truly life threatening trauma to FEEL and FEAR that your life is on the line. Parents putting a child down is not actually life threatening, but makes the child feel that it is because if their parents reject them, they will be without the necessities of survival and die

@ryk6207 4 года назад

@@SuspiriaX Well, perhaps it is essentially "fear for your life", but I suppose some of us find it difficult to relate to that phrase. I didn't realize I was traumatized for ages--despite experiencing symptoms of PTSD and seeing the word "trauma" come up over and over--because I didn't think I'd ever experienced anything that qualified as trauma, a supposedly "life-threatening event". It was like, nope, none of that has ever happened to me, so I must be confused or making this up or something. However, when phrased as "a deeply distressing or disturbing experience" or even better (to me), "something hugely scary or painful against which you feel powerless", I understand better and can relate more. I guess it's difficult because even though I didn't think of it as life-threatening, now I understand that this is what my body felt.

@codacreator6162 3 года назад

Out of the blue, when I was 14, my mother decided she'd send my younger brother and I to meet our father, who had been non-existent for my entire memorable life. We didn't want to go, had no interest in meeting him, but she was insistent. It was supposed to be a two week visit. Part of the way she convinced us was to show us the round-trip airline tickets. The night before our return flight, she called to say that she'd cashed the tickets and that we would be better off living with our dad. It was horrific and devastating, emotionally. The damage she inflicted destroyed my sense of self-worth (if I had any to start with). Three years later, our now-divorced dad tried the same thing. If being rejected by both your mom and dad doesn't completely mess you up, I don't know what will.

@hadassah6085 3 года назад

So sorry :( I have a similar story and it wrecked me and set me up for incredibly abusive relationships

@codacreator6162 3 года назад

@@hadassah6085 I get it. Me, too. I’m like a human carpet for the women in my life. Sucks, big.

@to_the_MEAT_of_things 2 года назад

I am so sorry

@DedHedZed 2 года назад

@@codacreator6162 I know the feeling

@lilndnfeather 2 года назад

Been there too 😞

@thequestess 5 лет назад

For me, shame doesn't feel like I felt at fault for an unpleasant situation. For me, it feels like something is inherently wrong with me. I discovered, I was "made of shame" (that's how I felt upon the realization): I had so much shame around almost everything, and it really defined me. Mine started in childhood, with my mom using shame as a discipline tool. I then learned to keep doing it to myself. "I'm so bad! I'm so stupid! I'm annoying! I'm not worthy," etc. My mom also liked to point out to others about how much I inconvenienced her (e.g. because I cried when the store was out of the shoes I wanted in my size, which I did because I thought if I had the "cool shoes," I wouldn't get bullied this year at school), and that felt to me like shame: "I'm such an annoying, dumb kid." So, I didn't recognize that my feelings were valid. Emotion-tracking was really helpful for me. I found that I was almost 100% disconnected from my emotions (even in my dreams!). I discovered that was because my mom used to shame and ridicule my emotions (like with the shoe story above). Of course, bullies also did that too, "oh waaaa, such a crybaby."

@nataliecantu8420 5 лет назад

I believe this is caused by abuse from my own experience. It's because we internalize all the bullshit that we experienced growing up. Hugs.

@bhuwanshah3215 4 года назад

thequestess I hope you feel good about yourself now. Always remember life is too short to feel bad about yourself, you are worth it Know that one person which is me thinks you are worth it and not a crybaby and is fighting through tough times. Just keep on fighting until you see the light 👍👍😊😊😊 DONT GIVE UP JUST DONT

@bhuwanshah3215 4 года назад

@liveNletlive0691 4 года назад

I totally feel you... bullied all my life and same thing with my mom,who I lived with the majority of the time. Amongst other traumas and her calling me crazy useless stupid bitch,you deserve to live in a nut house, etc etc Never validated my feelings I was suicidally depressed and she wouldn't talk to me or help me even when I asked...its extremely hard to get by when everywhere you go youre put down...it feels like you have no safe place. And i internalized it as well. Self hatred, low low self esteem to this day. It's hard when that's all you ever hear and dont have anyone to turn to, you believe it, and think if you weren't you...these things wouldn't be happening. Its hard to look back on. I ended up cutting, starving myself, binging and purging, and people telling me I lose weight or looked good just egged me on because for once I got a compliment, instead of fat, lard ass, ugly, etc etc. The eating disorders seemed to calm down somewhat once I was out of school and started drinking excessively for the next 8 years,but it was still there.. I've been reflecting on my past lately because I'm waiting to start emdr therapy. I'm now in the worst state of my life, i stopped drinking but things took a turn for the worst and I didn't seem to realize it until it was too late. I'm now not working,barely leave my apartment, no income, filing for bankruptcy and can't afford my doctor or therapy so I dont know how that's gonna work out. Also back to wanting to die every day, no support from family and no one to talk to. I'm terrified. I have extreme social anxiety, GAD,MDD, substance abuse, I get panic attacks regularly and I seem to have some weird phone phobia, its humiliating, I've ruined a lot because I want able to make phone calls. I dknt know why. I can't focus or understand and concentrate on anything and I have all this paperwork ,just looking at me makes me feel like puking. I feel dissociated but also very aware of how sick I feel, and how sick I am right now. Never how I thought my life would be, that's for sure.

@creepydani3225 5 лет назад

I'd like to know why the definition of trauma specifies that one has to fear for their life. I've had a rough childhood and withstood a lot of bullying and sibling abuse. On top of that I've been in situations where I was in physical danger and feared for my life however the interpersonal non-life threatening events left a much deeper and enduring mark on me which resulted in EMDR treatment and later a psychiatrist recognizing symptoms of PTSD and connecting it to relational trauma. The life-threatening physical events did produce acute symptoms like fear and avoidance but they went quickly once I faced those fears.

@TraumaTalk 5 лет назад

CreepyDani I’ve heard a lot of other definitions of trauma that don’t include life threat....I agree that “trauma” is so much more than that.

@hannahzaccaro751 5 лет назад

Yes Kati please do a video on this!!

@atheris1641 5 лет назад

Eli Silverado stay strong so sorry about that

@jantaljaard835 5 лет назад

The trauma definition is very bad. Children who are physically or sexually abused may not fear fof their lives but are still traumatized.

@yaya-sy2sr 5 лет назад

I'm so glad you said something because as soon as she quoted the definition I felt angry, it's wayyyyy less black and white than that

@whitthompson6170 5 лет назад

Awesome video, Kati! I remember one time my mom went through my hospital discharge paperwork (without permission) and saw PTSD on there, the first thing she said: "you don't have PTSD" In my head I was just like "you wouldn't know because you're the reason and thanks for putting me back on the shame train, ma!" I just kept my mouth shut and smiled though.

@TraumaTalk 5 лет назад

DyKoetah Thompson wow what a terrible response she had to you...I’m so sorry. I’ve had that response too. You, your feelings, and conditions are 100% valid.

@pamelagibson470 5 месяцев назад

❤❤❤❤❤

@pamelagibson470 5 месяцев назад

❤❤❤❤❤

@fujoshipeanut5074 5 лет назад

I think maybe shame is something you feel when you're made to feel guilty, even though deep deep down, you know you've done nothing wrong.

@MorganBondelid 5 лет назад

This is my favorite thing I've read about shame. This resonates like a bell in my heart. Thank you for saying this.

@ryk6207 4 года назад

Interesting thought. Maybe so, for the original trauma. Still, I think it's more complicated than that. I think shame can be quite different than guilt, though they are frequently confused. Shame, apparently, isn't really about anything you've done. It's how you've come to feel about who you are. Toxic shame, that is.

@louiseevans8118 4 года назад

@@ryk6207 yeah but it makes sense that it starts off with guilt. if youve been told that youve done bad and youre wrong, you feel guilty as a child then from the guilt the child starts feeling like im guilty all the time i must be a bad person, then from that thought the shame starts...even though they arent the same thing guilt and shame are connected

@laurenbradley3041 4 года назад

Brené Brown explains the difference between shame and guilt as shame believing that you are inherently wrong and guilt is believing that you did something wrong in that moment.

@coco-bz3kp 2 года назад

@5529kris 5 лет назад

I aggree with you. My shame is connected to huge trauma in childhood. It escalated into PTSD and then bipolar I. I haved cured myself to a degree humanly possible because Im very resilliant. 🙏❤

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for sharing!! xoxo

@reneefries1894 4 года назад

How did you overcome it? I'm struggling.

@gabbiefulton8604 5 лет назад

Hey Kati please do more video on this topic.

@TraumaTalk 5 лет назад

Gabbie Fulton it is such an important topic, isn’t it?

@candraa.3286 4 года назад

Agree

@ARR87 3 года назад

Im with Gabbie would love to see more videos on this topic as self loathing is something so many of us deal with through this shame trauma. Glad I found this video.

@Thomasina148667 5 лет назад

It is so hard not to be ashamed. Thank you for the insight.

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

I hope it helps a bit :) xoxo

@jadaallen489 5 лет назад

Hey Kati, can you make a video talking about social anxiety making you feel younger than you are. What exactly causes it and how can we fix it?

@shawna_mills8414 5 лет назад

I thought I was the only one who felt social anxiety made me feel younger than I am. I think for me it's because I compare myself to others who have more experience hence I feel immature because I lack see of the experiences so coal anxiety has stopped me from doing

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

What a good question!! I have added this to my thursday list and will work on it :) xoxo Thanks!

@thequestess 5 лет назад

I don't think I have social anxiety (but I would say I struggle with shyness a bit). However, I definitely know how you feel about feeling like a little kid! For me, I think it's things that link back to my childhood. For example, if someone yells at me, I can feel like a little child cowering in the corner. That's because it takes me back there, to that time when I was taking the parental scoldings. I bet the present triggers something stored in my brain from back then, and it all gets linked up together. I can also feel like a little kid when someone thinks my opinion or viewpoint is stupid. I was bullied for years as a kid, so it takes me right back there, to when I was being taunted for being "stupid." (I actually have an above average IQ, so I know intellectually I'm not stupid, but emotionally I often feel like I am.)

@anthonymicele8897 5 лет назад

jada allen great suggestion. I am 43 but feel like I'm still much younger. There's that saying that goes "you're as young as you feel," but for me I think there's a deep trauma that causes denial. I hope we get to see your answer from Kati.

@stompthedragon4010 4 года назад

Wow! Im not alone! Im 62 and have never felt like a real grown- up. Never accomplished what other people have. Never had a really stable life.

@notwittymcwittyface2474 5 лет назад

I always feel like you’re watching me, thinking...’ what does she need to hear right now’ As always Kati, thank you. You’re an amazing soul ✌🏽 xd

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe I am so glad the video topics have been on point for you!!! yay!! xoxo

@dancinglightsamv466 5 лет назад

This is my whole life. I believe I'm a terrible person, was a terrible bully as a kid, insensitive and just stupid. I've been told that quite a few times by my own family. It led me to believe that everything I'm struggling with now (depression, anxiety, ptsd) is what I deserve. I've never allowed myself to be a victim because I WAS TOLD I WAS THE EVIL ONE! I am so ashamed of all the bad stuff that I did as a kid, that I was told I did (ripping my family apart, destroying their lifes, make us homeless). Only recently am I starting to realise that maybe it wasn't all my fault. But it's really hard to admit because that would seem like I'm not taking responsibility. Does anyone feel the same? I almost feel brainwashed: I think I was the most horrible child, but when I re-read my old diaries, I see just a scared, neglected child. I'm so confused.

@justicemcpherson928 Год назад

I am a disgusting monster, fit only to contain horror and be buried out of sight so I don't accidentally hurt anyone. I can understand the thought.

@discoversouldenis Год назад

wonderfuul descriptions...and powerfull

@tabbymartin7458 5 лет назад

This is a really great video! I'm currently stuck as an adult and I'm just now realizing that I had alot of shame and trauma as a child. I personally never had anyone teach me about emotions and their significance. Having resources to learn more at this time is priceless! Thanks for sharing! It's so crucial to learn about emotions and why we have them and to know that it is okay and normal to have them!

@joywilliams4014 2 года назад

I’m 60 yrs old and just learning about trauma and was just diagnosed with c-ptsd. I wish you well and ❤️‍🩹

@TheLittlealice16 5 лет назад

Toxic shame is something I have carried with me for so so long and I have never needed a video more than I needed this tonight, as always thank you Kati!

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

I am so glad I can help!!! xoxo

@BlakeCulpepper-rh7gk 2 месяца назад

I have extremely valid reasons to be ashamed, but I need to overcome because unlike guilt it can be a very debilitating feeling that demotivates you. Humiliation is a huge aspect, as is embarrassment, and for me shame is something I heap on myself for being weak in certain situations that left a deep impact on my confidence and how I view myself.

@janmclain6301 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for this video, Kati. I loved this so much. I absolutely know that shame is born from trauma. I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused from a very very young age. And I carried the shame of that for 64 years before I found the right tools to heal from that. I have heard it said that shame is blame turned upon ourselves, and I believe that is true. We were never to blame for what was done to us. It was not our fault our caretakers chose to do those things to us, but we soaked it all up like a sponge because our brain had no other way to process the horror of it. So we carried their blame. Such a horrible thing to do to a child. I appreciate so much all that you do. You really are exceptional. Thank you.

@joywilliams4014 2 года назад

Jan. I’m 60. So I can totally relate. Never knew it was trauma. It’s really a lifelong process and draining. So many stressful years gone by. I hope you’re well. 💗

@janmclain6301 2 года назад

@@joywilliams4014 sweet lady, I am. I hope you are too dear heart!

@joywilliams4014 2 года назад

May I ask what helped you?

@joywilliams4014 2 года назад

@TheEarthycrunchy 5 лет назад

I feel shame that I have not been able to have a relationship with my narcissistic mother. Thank you for doing this video and getting me deeper into understanding this. Relationships are 50/50 and I’ve been taking all the blame.

@PD-vs7vf 5 лет назад

Hi Kati love your channel! 💕 I've have had my friends check your channel out and now they are hooked. You deserve more subscribers because you're great. Keep up the good work!

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe yay!! Thanks for telling your friends!!! xoxo

@honor2798 5 лет назад

I always get Shame and Trauma so confused, thank you for discussing this Kati ❤️

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Of course!! Glad it was helpful :) xoxo

@PRoseLegendary 5 лет назад

I don't agree that shame only comes when you feel like you should have done something different in response to the trauma. What about feeling ashamed that you feel traumatised at all? E-g something happens to you, and other people have experienced similar, but they don't seem to be as traumatised or affected by it? Or when the traumatic offence was committed by someone who's supposed to love you and protect you, it gives you a sense of something being wrong with you, that you're not worthy of love and protection, and that's a form of shame as well. It's not always that you feel like you could have "done" something different, just a sense that there must be something wrong with you if people would treat you that way.

@ttrim1188 5 лет назад

PRoseLegendary, you took the words out of my mouth.. I was diagnosed with trauma and I never feel shame for not being able to fix it, I feel shame because I don’t feel like I’m lovable and that there’s a big stain in me. I couldn’t help the abuse and bullying that happened to me as a child, and I certainly couldn’t prevent it, but it has affected me my whole life!

@IngunnWanderer 4 года назад

Same here. I've struggled a lot with this because what caused my trauma is so common, I felt like I was overreacting. Whenever I feel a symptom of my PTSD, like a flashback or something, I'm always afraid people will notice. If they do, I'm scared they will ask what caused it, and I'll have to explain how badly I react to what I think other people feel is "nothing".

@sunitapatel8248 4 года назад

Yes, I agree with this please answer this

@ang9095 2 года назад

There must be something wrong with YOU if people treat you badly. This explains a lot for me

@thecrystalgryphon2383 5 лет назад

You “always” seem to make the right videos that I needed to see to help my world. My partner is struggling with Shame but not Guilt. I couldn’t understand the relationship between the guilt and self loathing in him. Now I can reframe it with Shame instead. This might make more sense to him to help him heal through. Thank you so much.

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe yay! I am so glad I can be a helpful resource!! xox

@thecrystalgryphon2383 5 лет назад

Kati Morton it was a lightbulb for him when I sent him the link! He was shocked at how Shame is exactly the term he feels though wasn’t calling it as such! You just helped a whole family expand their tools and build trust through understanding.

@heiroot 5 лет назад

Can you make a video on cptsd that isn't veteran focused?

@priusa8113 5 лет назад

Heidi E what’s that pls??

@sambednar3351 5 лет назад

Pri USA complex PTSD, the features are a little different than classic PTSD

@kristendehaven10 5 лет назад

She has

@kristendehaven10 5 лет назад

@@sambednar3351 ptsd the c is complex

@MsBeachboxer 5 лет назад

Complex PTSD differs in that it is long term or many Traumas usually since childhood, or in a captive type situation.

@Audentia11 5 лет назад

I just told my therapist about some really bad sexual experiences I had a few years ago, which was really hard to do. And I've been feeling overwhelmed with shame ever since. This video comes right on time to make me feel hopeful that things will get better eventually. Thank you for everything you do Kati

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe I am so proud of you for talking to your therapist about that and sharing something so difficult. I am glad this video came at a good time! I hope it was helpful :) xoxo

@kayleee4065 5 лет назад

Audentia11 Me too. xo

@ang9095 2 года назад

Your not alone

@ashleyroberts3325 5 лет назад

As always, thank you, you’re a blessing to many! Much love and light!

@saikoloji 2 года назад

Because of shame, people think I’m shy.

@ryanliberty 5 лет назад

Kati I love that you're learning so much about trauma and sharing it! I wish I had these resources when I was learning about the PTSD I was experiencing. I found the information eventually but it's great that you're sharing it here in one place.

@SaimaKuz 5 лет назад

This video was really useful ! I totally agree that when you know where 'shame' comes from its more easy to work on with trauma!

@georgerobins4110 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for this video. Love you so much. I needed this. It made me cry. Thank you.

@lastminutewonder9602 4 года назад

I was shamed constently regularly about my adhd and i was suppose to be greatful for it. When i protested it i was told they know better and i needed to emotionally regulate better because when ur a kid and "disabled" your feelings dont matter.

@carinfreimond8080 4 года назад

I'm very sorry.

@sandranelli897 5 лет назад

Thank You, Kati, for creating this video! It explains more about why I have been feeling the way I have with trauma. Thanks, for taking your time to create videos for us Kinions and truly caring.

@karimahnaimah 5 лет назад

this makes so much sense. hearing this is like seeing a picture become more clear with what i am experiencing.

@lozza0810 5 лет назад

Again, perfect timing Kati! I have been struggling with this so much lately and my psychologist has been very helpful. Shame has taken over my life in the last few months, but I'm starting to realise that the abuse wasn't all my fault - I'll get there one day. Thanks again Kati xx

@tusharikajoshi5277 7 дней назад

This makes sooo much sense. And I feel like for me this shame increases isolation and not reaching out to anyone even more because when you're out of, say a bad relationship, your friends also start shaming you in a way. And this entire "if he wajted to he would" is soo unnecessary and useless. It does no good but increase your anxiety for most people. When you tell about it to your friends it's either shaming the guy or telling you that you're stupid to stay, both of which do not help. We need a safe space, we want to be heard without any judgement. We want an assurance that even if I do leave my partner I'll have a support system, but all this shaming just does the opposite, leading you to seek comfort in what's hurting you instead. And for me, unfortunately tge therapists I've been with also weren't good at gaining my trust and I've felt ashamed there as well.

@noofsproductions7551 5 лет назад

Kati, you make the most helpful videos ever! Thank you for everything❤️

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe yay!! So happy to help! xoxo

@MrsWetdirt 3 года назад

Hi Kati! I discovered your channel about a week ago and have been completely hooked on your videos! I’m a clinician as well and have referred your channel out to several of my clients. Such great information and I adore your style. Keep up the excellent work, the content in you videos is outstanding!

@roxannelovesvenussmokecity 5 лет назад

I cannot thank you enough for this video. I'd love a 2nd and more detailed video on these subjects, please. Thank you so much.

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

You got it!! So glad you found it helpful :) xoxo

@amberlee6826 5 лет назад

Wow, this is one of the most helpful videos I've seen thus far. Trauma and shame are definitely connected and I deal with it in therapy every week. Thank you for this video!!! I added it to my favorites so I can rewatch it from time to time :)

@rax1e352 5 лет назад

Yay, just what I needed :)

@kaethebratton5443 5 лет назад

You are so inspiring and explain stuff so well! Everyone can get better!

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe thank you :) And yes!! Everyone can!! xoxo

@kaethebratton5443 5 лет назад

Kati Morton you are amazing!

@wetboy72 5 лет назад

Thank, Kati. Awesome video, totally agree with you.

@daydreaminboy7671 5 лет назад

Speaking about trauma, can you talk about what happens to you when you hear traumatic stories? My ex had a terrible dad and heard her stories multiple times. While I don't feel affected negatively by it, I can't stop thinking about it and it feels weird because it's starting to feel like it's my story just as much it is hers. I can't explain it well, but I just feel icky like I have fish bones in my throat..... Thanks for all the work you put into this channel! Looking forward to more episodes from you :)

@alexispahlman4203 5 лет назад

I love this video kati! I really needed this. Right now I’m struggling with a lot of things. I don’t feel anything, it’s like I’m numb. I’ve never been this low, and it’s kind of scary.

@heatherfranklin1967 5 лет назад

The idea of gathering resources and grounding are the first steps before processing in EMDR. For me, EMDR is kind of like exposure therapy as extremely traumatic and embarrassing events were revisited. I am so glad I've been able to feel the pain of shame because as soon as I felt safe enough to feel the pain, it didn't feel like a toxic poison inside of me, holding myself prisoner anymore... I wasn't alone with it. But feeling safe before going deep was key... otherwise talking about it was just retraumatizing. I feel like it's unkind to myself and maybe even a form of emotional self-abuse to ruminate or overshare or even force myself to talk about highly painful events when I don't feel safe.

@bridgetarndt1302 5 лет назад

Such a great video Kati! Thanks for the insight

@lwb8149 3 года назад

Hands down this the best breakdown of simply understanding and the avenues (I see now) to take healthy steps to get better. Thank you so much!!!

@worldofcyn 5 лет назад

Thanks for this. I felt shame for years, and still do a little bit though I think I've processed through it a lot. I do get hit with very sad and depressive moods seemingly random or when I encounter one of my triggers. that's what I theorize, I'm not sure why I sometimes get really sad moods randomly. its only been happening this past year and a half I'd say and I have no experience with the sudden change in mood where I am very sad and crying. I hope this video and others will help me get through the shame I got that built up over the years while I combated it almost alone. Thanks Kati!

@Bambooocha007 5 лет назад

You are sooo smart! And thumbs up for how organized it is what you are talking about. Really really very good and helpful! Thank you for your hard work!

@fortifyjoy 5 лет назад

what if you were taught to feel shameful? my parents were emotionally abusive and over many years taught me to think I am fundamentally bad. that's not shame that arises because I think there's something that I should've or could've done, it was imbued in me by people who gave me the impression that I should be ashamed.

@PinkPanthful 4 года назад

Clicked on this because just a few weeks ago I was talking to my friends how the guilt I felt seemed to start feeling so different than shame. When I saw this I instantly clicked and it filled in so many gaps for me! Wow! What a great find for me. Thank you.

@LPoper 5 лет назад

I recently discovered your videos and am finding them so helpful & particularly validating. I've been in therapy for 2 yrs. with, amazingly because it was luck-of-the draw, a woman who truly feels like my partner in healing. Until now I've had no therapy/intervention beyond ER visits followed by 30 day "voluntary" stays, I just pushed ALL my traumaS down into the dark, soldiered on with the occasional descent into deep depression. A basic physical & emotional breakdown got me into therapy. And this video speaks so much to what I'm struggling with: the shame that informs every part of my life & being, the knowledge that healing is so hard sometimes, that I'm terrified of facing the DETAILS, the search for resources (recently found an amazing women's trauma organization w/peer-to-peer counseling, healing circles, creativity circles 💜), and currently sometimes drowning in the emotional disregulation I'm dealing with now that little by little that stuff is coming out of the dark and with it comes ALL the feelings, way too many sometimes...and the dissociation that's protected me since I was a little girl and trying to stay grounded for longer periods of time...I'll be seeing my therapist today and I think I'll share this video with her. Again thank you, I'm so glad I found your channel. 💜

@lordren5873 5 лет назад

I needed this so badly. Thanks. Also, can we take a moment to appreciate Kati's eyebrows they are perfect

@Dyalification 5 лет назад

Thank you for making this video. It couldn’t have come at a better time.

@54janete 5 лет назад

This makes me feel hopeful about recovering, thank you!

@thepowerfulpussycats8491 3 года назад

This is amazing, I feel shame from having an abortion in my early 20s, having a toxic and unhealthy relationship as my first love experience, daddy issues, mommy issues, failed friendships, living with cervical cancer. Just so much for so long but now I am processing it and healing from having it out in the open.

@dzhengiswallet5180 4 года назад

My God ! I realized why now i'm feeling like that !It's such a hard time for me now and you helped me to understand what is happening with me I thank you so much dear soul!

@User-pe5qz 3 года назад

the first feeling felt as a child was being a shame that my parents are divorced always felt unlucky as a kid and shame of myself that I would never ever talk to my friends or my cousins about the divorce and always acted like my parents live together " maybe my family was the only family I know get divorced in my hood and in my school " .. I'm in my latest 20s and until this day I never talk about it .. last year a friend asked me if my parents are divorce like some say and I lied !! shame feeling grows in me every year about every thing and the situation that I feel shame when I remember keep coming back almost everyday ...

@rue6173 5 лет назад

We’ve been doing this in psychology class recently so this really helped! Thank you I’ll be sharing the video In my class tomorrow x

@Katimorton 5 лет назад

Awe yay! I hope it's helpful for them too!!! xoxo

@Braydog101 Год назад

Grounding has been the biggest help for me - activating the root chakra Working on my ankle, hip, knee mobility and working on glute, ham, calf foot via squats with good form works on stabilizing your posture and allows you to use the energy to process uncomfortable emotions

@nn8322 5 лет назад

Thank you so much for this video. I need this so much

@genevieveforest7 4 года назад

Thank you for posting these videos. They help a lot

@cherryrachael4801 5 лет назад

Hey Kati! Can you make a video on overprotective/“helicopter” parents and whether or not it impacts mental health? It gives me and my sister and tremendous amount of anxiety but I don’t know how to explain to them that what they’re doing is harmful. Thanks! Love your videos! 💚

@ang9095 2 года назад

Imagine never being protected or feeling abandoned and weigh what you feel now. What would you rather? I'd go as far to guess that your parents never felt protected even though it may be annoying how is it hurting your life?.

@jillkrajicek 4 года назад

I just recently started seeing a therapist and she mentioned that i have a lot of childhood trauma and some PTSD because of it and OMG what you are saying is exactly what I am struggling with - number 2 is what i feel like every single day of my life

@lydiaholland4044 5 лет назад

Hi Katie! I love your channel so much. I have been watching your chanbel since I was in 7th grade when I started struggling. You videos have gotten me through alot and I can almost always relate to whay you are talking about. I'm now in 10th grade, I've had really bad trust issues and fear of men and bad self confidence issues and today they announced homecoming court at school and announced that I was voted for my grade and it was a huge boost of confidence. Love you Kati

@peaceserenity895 3 года назад

I am so grateful I found your channel! 🙏🏼❤️

@amberbell7985 5 лет назад

I'm extremely happy that I've found your channel. This video is making me think more, and realize that the shame that I do feel, Isn't my fault..

@kayseagrey81 5 лет назад

Kati, Kati, Kati... Excellent video. Sooooo on point for where I am in therapy. Love the suggested ways to heal from shame as it truly is incredibly debilitating. Thank you.

@IamMissPronounced 5 лет назад

Wow Kati, I feel like you read my mind and posted exactly what I needed to hear this week. I've been feeling shameful for a long while now, just in general, and it doesn't seem to be directly connected to the trauma I suffered 2 years ago, but my mom (who went through the same trauma) was recently diagnosed with PTSD, and she keeps pushing me to get help as well. I've just felt unworthy of getting help, but I know that I won't feel any better until I do ask for help.

@hannahzaccaro751 5 лет назад

Good video. Thank u Kati!

@Telepatiacomiamor 5 лет назад

Hi Kati, I just want to say thank you so much. Your channel has helped me and inspired me so much this year. So much so, that I’m currently seeing a therapist, whose name is also Katie, and I’m taking medication for my bipolar disorder. Your channel gave me the strength to get help. Thank you so much. ♥️🌹♥️

@latev9973 5 лет назад

Thank you so much, i just realized today how much shame i carry with me from my childhood experiences, i never told anyone, and this video teached some things i need for my journey. :)

@hollythesaddo2547 5 лет назад

Thank you for yet another great video. Today I reached out for help from my school pastoral team. I am now getting counselling for trauma and bipolar mostly. Thank you so much for making my journey so much easier. I love your videos xx

@TraumaTalk 5 лет назад

Good luck with your counseling!

@martapayne5909 5 лет назад

Yes Kati, yes! Love your thoughts on why shame is linked to certain traumas.

@aliciajoym 5 лет назад

Thank you for this video!

@georgesheppard5391 5 лет назад

Another great video Kati, it's always great to hear a sane voice to walk through these things :) is it possible as a video idea on how to reintegrate with friends and normal life etc after disconnecting to heal and work through stuff? For example, I've taken a couple of months off socially to really look after myself, and now feeling somewhat better I'm ready to get back into my friend group. But after going out with them once, it feels off, and not the same, and I'm not sure if it will (I know many of them just don't understand the big impact of mental health). Once again love the work you're doing ❤

@kazimierzgarshin3924 4 года назад

Thank you for this video. Often when I feel shame I listen to it and it helps me to understand and look at it from your scientifical point of view.

@hperterp1 3 года назад

Yes trauma and shame are so linked! It strikes me that both incapacitate the will so that we get stuck in our shame and trauma responses. I’ve only just started to unpack my traumas. Thanks for showing the way forward !

@herbivoretothecore2457 5 лет назад

Amazing! Thank you💖

@mrswb3630 5 лет назад

I absolutely love your work. 🙏🏼gratitude

@ultimategamer765 2 года назад

This video changed my life. Let it change yourself for real ❤️❤️

@lorenzomagat 4 года назад

Thank you very much!

@kimberlysmith3790 5 лет назад

Love your videos, you explain so well.

@williamalexander7481 2 года назад

This was helpful. Thank you

@guitarinsanity93 3 года назад

This is super intersting. I think it's super important to mention that trauma is not necessarily tied to a fear for yours or someone elses life which is what the most current research is saying.

@emmablackwell37 5 лет назад

Thankyou for another amazing video perfect timing as always :) xoxo

@emilymcgee3812 5 лет назад

Brilliant video Kati. Thank you. ☺

@PamsPrettyPlants 5 лет назад

Thank you Katie

@mbuhjullius8256 3 года назад

That was good. Need more of this

@HiThereImFootloose 5 лет назад

Your videos are very helpful. Thanks!

@sandraholycross8621 3 года назад

Thank you for this wonderful informations.

@lizm4835 4 года назад

Your diffferentiation between guilt and shame really spoke to me. I'm a few weeks into CPT with my therapist and this is a vital distinction. This week I'm challenging stuck points in my homework and thinking about guilt & shame in this way has already helped lessen some of the really difficult emotional tangles I"m trying to tease apart surrounding my trauma. Ty. 💙 I suffer a lot of shame, even surrounding my PTSD diagnosis itself. The smallest thing can be so healing.

@Neeshpeesh123 5 лет назад

Thanks for this you helped me to understand what’s really wrong with me. I couldn’t articulate or have the words but you described it perfectly! Now I can go to my therapist and start the exploring the trauma phase and talk about how to negate these toxic “truths” I’ve come up with that make me feel shameful.

@gabbiefulton8604 5 лет назад

Hey Kati thank you for this video and giving me some tools to use.

@ethanbpaisley Год назад

This really helped. Thank you so much! ❤

@Katimorton Год назад

You’re welcome Ethan.

@alexbonenfant1735 5 лет назад

I was just discussing something like this with my therapist the other day. I had no idea shame affected me so much, even though I mostly suffer from anxiety. I'm so happy you made this, since finding out I've been struggling with feelings of shame has freaked me out, and I still have no idea how to fully handle it.