True! It's unfair and to women even worse, when you are not dressed up and get neglected people say horrible things to your face straight up!I witnessed.
@@vwqwe-gh6td Woah!I didn't know there are cases like that, but you learn something everyday... It's sad, but why do you think that men aren't usually attractive?I think that women are still more pressured to look good.
There are more good looking women then men, the beauty standard is much more forgiving for woman then man. Plus woman are in abundance of options to cheat like make up, wigs, multiple types of clothing like push-up bra.
@@vwqwe-gh6td Well it's very interesting because it shows both sides, I usually noticed that women were treated worse.If a guy is "fat" he is chubby and cute, he can still have a girlfriend if he is tall for example and doesn't look like Harvey Weinstein at least.But women are fat, horrible, disgusting...I think it depends on more factors and that no matter how unattractive you are you can still find someone, but more similar to you.A girl can be fat but have really pretty face and still find a guy who is physically nice, but if she is not pretty and fat at same time it's off.She may find someone but hardly and similar to her.And I saw not so good looking guys with beautiful women.Vensan Cassel and Monica Bellucci comes to mind.
When you are not attractive and you try to mimick the personalities of attractive people it is never received well. To be likable you have to subconsciously mold your personality to your status so that people recognize that you "know your place" and are not trying to upset the natural social hierarchy. This is the only way to be acceptable as an unattractive person and it is very demoralizing, so unattractive people tend to avoid social situations more because social interaction is very unrewarding.
I'd not agree, an attractive personality e.g. a humour trait, doesn't have to be mimicked. Someone's ability to be caring isn't determined by how attractive they are. Personality traits like confidence can be exasperated by appearance. But who really mimics personality of a person just because they're attractive you tend to mimic personality traits of a person who's personality you think is good.
@@tyler-qr5jn Being caring and unattractive is being needy. Funny and unattractive = the clown that makes people laugh. Confidence and unattractive = overly arrogant.
I have a very good friend who was really beautiful when we were in school. Let's call her A. We were a gang of 4 girls. The other two girls often gossiped about A when she wasn't around. A was a kind and loving friend, and was really introverted, so she never used the "benefits" of her pretty privilege. A gang of popular girls used to bully A, and what I discovered is that my other two friends were the ones telling all her secrets to these popular girls. After school, i lost touch with the other two , but was still in touch with A. A never posted any pictures on social media. Now we are 28, and A gained a lot of weight in the past year. Then, these other two girls wanted to have a meet-up. We did meet and took pictures, and these girls posted it all over Instagram. They both had a glow up and look great now, however it seemed to me that they wanted to show the world that A was "ugly" now and they were a lot prettier. They were holding that bitterness and jealousy for over a decade. I also noticed they posted the ugliest candids of A, and she will never know because she's not on Instagram. How pathetic.
Yes, we all have of this access to statistics and studies that reveals how we act towards unattractive/attractive people, and overall as a society we’re aware of how we’re supposed to treat people. It’s natural to trip up, as let’s face it, it’s human nature to judge people and assume things about based on physical appearance, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make an effort to not be so effected by physical looks that we ignore someone based on their lack of.
@@BigV24 bro that's completely false i was most unattractive in my class but i dont see i was treated badly or anything like that yeah some made fun of me but it was not big deal for me.
I hate it when people say, "looks don't matter." people are only attracted to personalities if that person is good looking. even if an unattractive person has a better personality than the attractive, society still wouldn't care about the unattractive. it's all about the looks.
Correct.. If you have the looks, then you have the chance to show your personality. If you don't have the looks, personality (good or bad) doesn't matter.
Even attractive people suffer with this. Kpop idols for example; almost all of them were already beautiful, but their companies made them do plastic surgery before debut. Idols like chaeryeong from itzy also suffer a LOT of hate for not being perfect, despite being extremely attractive :(
@@Laura-dn1zx So you are really going to compare Kpop idols (literal superstars) with the plights of unattractive people. Strange how privileged groups try to insert themselves and claim they are struggling too. Pretty privilege benefits greatly outweigh whatever cons. The mere fact you need to be attractive in the first place to even be considered for such a career making millions off your looks. Even if they weren't Kpop stars being manipulated for plastic surgery or whatever they are still attractive and reap the benefits in many aspects of life.
@@Laura-dn1zx they still have an advantage of making money, being famous, which unattractive dude/gal won't. That outweighs the problems they face. Because they can still have good social groups, friends, and pay for therapy, and don't need to worry about bills.
@@adamg6711 I don't understand the hostility of this comment. The person was merely making an observation that even among attractive spaces (literally their first sentence) there is still this need to be more perfect, more flawless. You're right that these people that are hired to be idols must be attractive in the first place, but that just proves how society is obsessed with looking perfect because of social media even amongst the attractive. And this isn't a con of pretty privilege, a con of pretty privilege would be something like attracting more creeps, not this where previously pretty people are pressured to be more pretty. Pretty privelege is a thing, but it's almost like you're weaponizing your aesthetic disadvantage ("I'm deemed ugly by societal standards so how dare you connect my problems to pretty people who are also living under the same society that causes these problems). Very twitter mentality of you
to a certain degree BUT beauty has always been coveted since the beginning of time as our human brains are wired to view beauty as representative of health and youth which equals fertility and the propogation of our species through the birth of robust offspring. social media has ruined relationships. men are getting easy sex more than ever and women are more than happy to comply after accepting a plane ticket and some sort of financial reward for her trouble. the end of relationships with any sort of meaning has arrived. the only thing left is for people to start robotizing themselves and having sex with other transhumanists. i heard of a gentleman who wants to buy an entire robot family!! there's no going back, man!! humanity is in RUINS.................oh and ANOTHER thing: why doesn't anybody talk about photoshop, etc., and how these women REALLY feel when they go out in public with their "true" bodies?? are they met with ridicule?? i mean, there are blogs about it now actually!! i don't really see the men caring -- as long as they are getting what they want!! BUT i am curious how much of an issue this is going to be in the future as people can change their appearance on video as well now with filters!! you can appear thinner with a smaller nose! EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think an interesting case study in addition to the information in this video would be to monitor how a late bloomer or someone who had an incredible glow up later on in life. Actually meeting people who are oblivious to how attractive they are compared to the average person because they grew up without the halo effect is insane. And usually, they were a part of different groups and retain those hobbies and characteristics. Would this be weird for normal people in society who expect them to act differently?
I resonate with this. I didn't bother with "looks maxing" until my 20s. As a young adult, I was treated differently for being chubby horrible skin than when I lost weight and fixed my face. These days, I understand how to manipulate people using my appearance 😒
this is a bit of my scenario. grew up fugly. then in my 20s finally am finding my style and decided to step out of my comfort zone and date other people. i dont think im super attractive or anything. i think im average and have a nice figure, but when i told people i never dated anyone or hooked up they said its like something out of book or story that its super rare. i feel like a fish out of water sometimes.
As a person who went trough this kind of Situation, Ill share my expreciences and thoughts about it: Ive never been ugly, but i sure was way less attractive that i am now. From 13 to 15ish i was emotionally unstable and wasnt eating healthy at all. That resulted in a fat face and i couldnt take proper care of my appearance and self confidence. I was so insecure about everything, even so much i couldnt look in the mirror no more, i hated the way i looked. I was a shy girl back then, with this insecure mindset it became even worse. I thought nobody would even want to talk to me because of my ´unattraktive‘ appearance. I only had 2 friends in the first highschool year, i was lowkey bullied then which made everything worse. This went on for a while, and i became depressed and skipped a lot of classes to shoplift sugary unhealthy foods to later snack on while watching youtube cuz that was the only thing that made me feel happy. I became even more ugly, (still not concidered as ugly but maybe a 5/10) but then i switched schools. This school was shit, i was too shy and nobody approached me mostly. Had 1 classmate i had a good connection tho. Im telling you all of this because this all didnt improve my social skills. Now, a lot of things changed till today: Im 16 years old now and im going to college. Ive hard core changed the way i look rooted out of deep insecurities and i wanted to be happy. I decided to eat more healthy, skincare, daily sport, gym twice a week, make up that fitted my face, dressed up better, take care of my hair/jewelery/nails/hygiene/confidence/good sleep/and so much more. Also i decided to get rid of most of my shy ness by becoming cashier at the biggest shop in the mall. That all made a MAJOR change in my appearance and my life People are way nicer to me, i get things way easier/sometimes even for free, people look at me so much more, everywhere i go i get stared at, i get catcalled more often, males pay more attention to me, girls that i dont even know look at me mean, boys/man desire me sexually more now, even my family treats me diffrently now… Im most times not comfortabel with this because when i was less atractive everybody didnt even know i existed or thought i was weird… Strangers are so open and blurt out so much private stuff, they are so overly-friendly and touchy. But as you can see im talking about strangers, the one that dont know me personally. The one that talked to me before, or worked with me before know im more introverted. People ussualy have this expentation of pretty social girl thats always happy and has lots of friends and its very draining because im definitly not like that. Then suddenly after they get to know that im not that social they start to be more carefull approacing me, they still are nice and watch me, but from a distance. I feel very lonely in this world, but not the kind of lonely you would think. Im lonely but never alone. I always feel watched where ever i go, always i will get attention from strangers because pf the way i look. Its okay now cuz im more used to it, but at first it was stressing me tf out! In some kinda way it makes u feel more alone, you know you always get seen but never approached…. Idk, i dont mind it as much anymore. Im fine like this, i have my family that i love deeply and myself. I love myself. Atleast, i try to. Being concidered atractive by society will make new problems for you but thats something hwole diffrent to talk about. I need to go, if you readed all of this im gratefull for your time maybe you can change up your life also and much love sended to you from the Netherlands ❤❤❤❤
I can tell you first hand. People who have glow ups cannot fit in with below average peers. It’s the same as a person from The trailer park who wins the lottery….he will be hated and preyed upon. It is what it is
Attracting so much attention can sometimes cause problems when people are "zooming in" your life. If you're dating someone, they will scroll back to your ex and try to mock if you have any altercations before. They dig up the dirt that you want to hide away. People are very judgemental. They can consider you beautiful but will always stick their eyes on you and follow you close up like perverted stalkers if you're exceeding their beauty standards. You can be beautiful but NOT to a level where they feel envious.
I used to weigh around 57 kg for a 5'10" man in my college (age 22). I was always over shadowed by good looking boys of my class. There were very pretty girls in my college and i was invisible to them. Like totally invisible. I had couple of proposals at the time and i was mocked at pretty hard. My body features were low fat face and skinny body. I was a reserved man, talked less and was thoughtful in actions. So after the college ended, me and the pretty girls were selected for tech job. I had a gap of 6 months before joining the company. So i hit the gym and gained around 15 kg of healthy weight. I went to around 72 kg. The difference was night and day. I was the talk of town. I received so much attention that i never knew how to react to it. It was not natural to me. The big thing i noticed was in the perception of me. The same personality of talking less and being reserved became a big plus of my whole persona. So looks change your outlook on life for sure. If you want to be a bad boy, be a handsome one.
I kind did this too haha the problem is that I lost weight again, but now I'm training again but this time I'm doing for myself not for approval, Like I need something to force myself out of cigarettes too, so double w
stay handsome but HUMBLE !! isn't it odd that you supposedly went from AWKWARD to MYSTERIOUS just because you got handsome??!! that's the way the world works, my brother!!
This channel is one of the few that can make me "uncomfortably informed" nowadays. On the one hand, the information is factual, useful, applicable... On the other, I wonder how much we should be using it to pander to our basest instincts as opposed to intentionally evolving them.
That's the issue I had with this video. He says a thing, and that's it. There's really no solutions, options or other factors besides a few (skin clarity and facial expressions come to mind). So attractive people have better personalities because they're given more positive reinforcement, and... That's it? Just because people perceive something as good, doesn't mean it's good. It's giving hot TikTokers doing nothing except looking at you with a seducing gaze while music plays in the background. Like, call it is what it is.
@@Turquerina You make a good point. He's directly providing the data without blatantly giving a solution, which is something that isn't usually done visual media. Though, respectfully, I actually think that's the best way to present the information at this point. I think the reason it makes me uncomfortable is because the information he presents is factual, and it leaves the user to decide what decisions to make with that information. Some people will inevitably buy the Qoves company's services, looksmaxx until they are unrecognizable and leave with the perks of that. Some people will probably lose all hope of ever being treated well because they don't have the money, time, health, etc to take that path. What I'm wondering is how many people are actually going to think about the fact that by buying into the "looksmaxx" culture without questioning the reasoning behind it, we are collectively giving in to our evolutionary dispositions instead of voluntarily engaging our decision making skills to override the preset attraction mechanisms in our minds and bodies. In essence, that means we are choosing to regress instead of progress. I would like to eventually see people using this information to get the social capital they need to be taken seriously, and then subverting the expectation by consciously engaging with people who are not conventionally attractive in the same way they engage with people who are. If enough people made that choice, eventually, it would become the default way of people interacting with each other, and then we no longer have such pressure to be physically attractive.
@@AngDevigneYes, all of that, I agree! Sometimes, beauty standards are treated as facts when they're really not. Like skin whitening, hair relaxers, cosmetic surgeries and even make-up to an extent are tools people use to conform to arbitrary constructs. Although, to his credit, Qoves does mention this in other videos. I don't know, a lot of his videos are pretty insightful (which is why I clicked on this one) but this one felt lacking in particular, which is unfortunate.
@@AngDevigne i love the way you think and write!! i think in the solution you proposed, i’ve been doing exactly that. i realised people didn’t take me seriously or care as much when i was unattractive as a preteen and improved my appearance to a degree where i’m now approached by strangers to be told they think i’m beautiful. i’ve noticed a drastic change to my life experience and i attract a lot of social attention everywhere i go! it’s also improved my confidence a lot and helped me be more comfortable with showing my personality :) growing up while being so neglected due to my physicality, i’m severely critical of the social emphasis on beauty and i think it’s just redundant. i strongly believe we need to criticise our own inclinations towards beauty. regardless of compliments and sexual attention i get now, i actively subvert expectations by having ‘weird’ interests, being friends with people who wouldn’t be deemed conventionally attractive, and being friendly with absolutely everyone regardless of looks. i think it’s really interesting because sometimes people act surprised that i would even talk to them or act surprised about my nerdy interests or academic achievements. i think i love the subversion of expectation in this way, it’s so satisfying! and i can find joy in the fact that in some way or another, i’m fulfilling my values of deconstructing these ideals. people are also surprised about how much i’m critical of beauty, being a beneficiary of it. i think it just makes life much more exciting to be constantly surprising people in such a way - it’s also the reason why i love meeting new people, because there are always more people to surprise and spread my agenda haha
Honestly. When I was younger, I never dated anyone that other considered good looking, I just went for what I thought was a lovable and funny personality. And average/below average people can often be very funny. However what I didn't anticipate, as a teenager especially when emotions run high, was their other traits - bitterness, jealousy, snide comments, judgement, insecurity, and latching onto anyone who shows them a bit of attention (all of them cheated, either on me or tried to with me). This isn't to say every below average person is like this, but there is almost another Halo effect for superficially likable people who are less good looking - there's an assumption that they will be modest, down to earth, made more relatable by their life experience. I have not found this to be accurate.
This is very true. I tell people this all the time. Less attractive people are more likely to cheat for many reasons including the not being used to the attention and rare occasion of an ego-boost.
lmao in my experience attractive people are more introverted/ambiverted, ugly people are more extraverted because they believe they have something to make up for
@@stargiirls same this is what I have observed as well. Ugly people tend to be quite extroverted usually, however I have also seen cases of nerdy men and women who are unattractive and introverted so I am now not really sure.
Because social and extroverted is what most people mean by “good” personality since most people are insecure and want to be validated. Guess who needs more validation, attention and willing to give it? Both extroverts. While introverts tend to be more private and cautious.
Being attractive allows you to align your internal compass with what can be accepted/expected from you socially. IMO it’s one of the biggest sources of mental stability and contentment.
it certainly is enjoyable and makes for a varied and interesting life BUT what about those of us who are attractive but true nerds on the inside?? i have no interest in aligning my internal compass with what is accepted from me socially. SCREW THAT!! after years of too much attention and way too many compliments i just want to reject society and all of its phoniness and expectations and go live somewhere alone and write!! what i enjoyed most about being pretty is that the obnoxiously superficial envious people around me and ones that i would come across each day would hold back out of intimidation because of my looks!! don't get me wrong it's a fun ride and has done wonders for my social life BUT let's face it even though i'm an optimist, most people are mean f'ers and i delighted in the respect their fake little arses showed me !! God bless!!
as a kid, i was considered a little "weird" as i liked being alone and was very much a thinker. i did alright socially and i was a cute girl but i felt different, less frivolous than the other children. my sister was also a bully, the quiet and sneaky type (we were born in the same year so we were in the same grade) who got others against me. at 14, i became a very attractive teenager and my whole world changed. my weirdness turned into "quirkiness" now, according to my peers, and i was able to express my personality and humour fully, without being "quietly" bullied once in a blue moon either by my now-envious sister and/or mean girls. it's like others respected me now and were either very polite or just kept a safe distance. i don't think it's that you LEARN what is expected socially but rather others AUTOMATICALLY accept you and even turn things that may be otherwise perceived as negative into something totally wonderful!! it's been so much fun, i must admit!! never forget though that beauty is a GIFT and a CURSE and that ALL OF US have challenges in life!! have a fantastic night!!
It's kind of like a feedback loop. The Halo Effect exists, so people think you're a good person because you're good-looking/look like a good person, so you'll feel like you're a good person and eventually think that you're a good person. Hence better personalities.
Some self fulfilling prophecy, makes sense why sometimes people who take care of themselves are better mostly and not bad as people make it out to be.I know that I would feel better about myself if I was nurished.
@GM 99 It's nature not nurture... and it's not a self fulfilling prophecy... A lot of wicked and usually uglier people were wicked to begin with and have no inclinations to change and don't want to nor care to [ego ]
Someone who understands that they have infinite worth, regardless of how they look, will be the person who has REAL confidence and has a personality that flourishes. When an unattractive person faces the reality that they don't receive the same positive treatment as attractive people do, it forces them to dig deeper and ask themselves, "Well, where does my worth as a human being actually come from? Is my value in society really based on my appearance? Why do I matter? Why am I here on this planet? Who loves me regardless of how I look?" I would argue that this work actually pushes an individual to grow as a whole person, allowing them to develop a personality that is more complex, is more rooted in self-awareness, true confidence, and less self-absorption. Good looking people also have to face a similar challenge in discovering one's true worth. I used to work with beautiful models who were painfully insecure and lacked self-esteem. Why? Because they've ALSO been told their whole lives that their value only comes from their appearance. It is, however, easier for attractive people who rely on their looks for confidence to skate by on positive affirmations, have a fun personality, all the while lacking depth and introspection because they've never had to do the real work. Real, authentic, vibrant, and unique personalities blossom from individuals who truly understand that they have value regardless of how they look (attractive or not), that they have infinite worth no matter what, and that they are WANTED and LOVED as they are.
The Christian perspective is that God values us incredibly highly, since he laid down His life for us, that we would no longer be separated from him .. something is valued at how much someone will pay for it. We are dearly beloved Children to God.
The moment that you localize your value to anything that you do not choose, you dehumanize yourself and enslave yourself to that thing via that insecurity. You are not your entitlements or privileges. Confidence and merit is not given but trusted and asserted.
@@guhhhh you do! You are unrepeatable. No one has come before you who is exactly YOU and no one will come after you who is YOU. You are a one of a kind body/soul unity. No one else is YOU. This is such a wonderful testament to your pricelessness. You have been willed and held in existence because you are desired by the creator of the universe. In the creation of the world, YOU also came into being. What a gift that is. That is an incredible affirmation of one’s worth.
Funny, I've watched from up close how my very attractive friend and sister got treated very well to the point where they expected to have things just handed to them. They were complete a-holes throughout their lives, so this must mean they're actually double a-holes for not even developing a good personality when the stars were pretty much lined up for it.
As I said in one of my replies, gender makes a difference and the video was dumb not to address it, as well as factor in AGE as the video doesn't mean shit for the vast majority people when passing 50. They also got womens perspective. Children's perspective. But mens perspective? No. I don't recall that. Again, gender matters. He may as well as argued society develops personality and nothing else. But how, if personality has the word PERSONAL in it? Probably the same type of dude that insists every meaning of the word nice is negative and fake no matter how it's used. Which ofc, is basically doing mental backflips to explain that 1+1=3 when LOGICALLY, it's doesn't.
Btw yours is a much MUCH more realistic situation. Saw it in my own family. I dogsit for a friend who saw it in his. Heard multiple stories of the same. And every time, it's ALWAYS specifically the girls being born attractive and becoming entitled and stuck up. No offense, hopefully whoever made this vid ends up with somebody super hot but super entitled and stuck up and wakes up one day looking at her in her 70s trying to still prove this video correct. Or gets cheated on. Divorced. Ya know typical styff that I hope can make him wake up a bit.
That's my assessment, most goodlooking people tend to be a**holes. Wmn more than men. I hung out with goodlooking dudes, they tend to be cool, good-looking wmn on the other hand are monsters.
I think Q is wrong, I don't think good looking people have a better personality, but a different one. They will be less trustworthy, because they will be more likely to think they can get away with stuff. They will also be more likely to look down on others, think higher of themselves and value others less. I'd actually argue they are more likely to have a bad personality. But some good things are, more confidence, less afraid of taking risks, not settling.
Without sounding horrible, cause its facts, all of the bullies I've had from managers to ex friends, have been ugly or not very attractive. The best looking people have always been lovely towards me, though they have their own flaws, there is a clear difference and this vid sumarises it so well.
I definitely do agree. I was always praised for my looks by majority of people that I've met. Since my early childhood I was super extroverted (I suppose because of the positive reinforcement) and had my peers fight for my attention. However, being attractive doesn't mean that you are going to avoid bullying. Had experienced hella toxicity from my girl classmates, and that really messed up with my self image and caused major depression.
This is a lot more common than you think. It’s one of the ways women compete with attractive women by icing them out. Usually the goal is that by icing them out they end up becoming afraid of people since women usually roll their eyes at everything attractive women do, over criticize them, make of anything they do that kind of thing. Men usually treat attractive women much better but honestly women treat them badly and anyone that says otherwise is lying through their teeth.
@@AB-sm1qf I agree, it happens to me on a daily basis. Alot of the women that I meet belittle me constantly and oftentimes shun/avoid me. Truthfully, it's a quite depressing occurance.
@@AB-sm1qf Yeah, and even if the men treat beautiful women well, it’s not out of human compassion but some personal motives. It can make the beautiful women feel constantly sexualized and used. It’s hard for them to develop real relationship with people in general.
@@piriyaj1347 I know but the women say it all the time and people ignore them like it doesn’t mean anything. Yes, men treat pretty women kinder out of trying to bed them. Often attractive women keep people at arms length out of self preservation and this is where the “b!tch” stereotype comes from. They often suffer from anxiety out of not feeling comfortable to trust anyone. Yeah people talk about how they’d still rather be pretty but the mental damage they get from being isolated sucks so bad it’s not even funny. Unless they’re rich or become models or exploit their looks somehow for most of them their looks provide more misery than not. People also underestimate how smart and cruel guys are. Which is why they don’t like it when women put a barrier between them and their bullying such as people not dating rich folks or using OnlyFans etc. These women get used far more than not.
Hm but the fact that you were even bullied- look I'ma be honest I'm very ordinary looking. I'm not ugly or pretty. Just sorta in between. And I'm overlooked by everyone. The popular kids obviously avoid me and the kids that aren't as average looking also avoid me. And it's always the popular girls that get bodyshamed and bullied. But as someone that isn't popular, I can confirm that it's bc of jealousy. Y'all got what we want. I don't personally make comments on ppl like that but ik ppl that do. So yuh, definitely not you
The only type of personality people should strive for is authenticity. When speaking, speak from whatever that little voice inside you says. Whatever innately comes up, that’s how you speak. Don’t try to put on airs or a pretense. People see through that. Just be genuine
If people see through it like that, that's a bit of a skill issue. Humans work by putting on masks, that's just how social interactions work. Nothing bad in it, you just need to learn to do it right.
@@shamusson I agree. Certain situations call for different masks. However, you can still use your intrinsic personality, but with a slight filter/mask.
Attractive people with dark triad features tend to look intimidating, and thus may be avoided by people, peers or the opposite gender. which could lead to anti-social personalities.
How about this, the personality of more attractive people tend to veer towards the extremes because of how others behave towards them. An attractive man with a basically good personality will receive good feedback when behaving well and be encouraged to improve his personality to become an even more pleasant person. An unattractive man with a basically good personality won't however receive as much good feedback and won't be as encouraged to improve his personality as the attractive man. At the same time an attractive man with a basically bad personality will largely get away with this behaviour as people will be less inclined to correct it. Women in particular. An unattractive man with a basically bad personality will however be harshly rebuked for any transgression and so be encouraged to correct his behaviour and improve his personality.
Wait if that's true then doesn't that disprove the video? Bout time somebody has some sort of argument. I also think it's worth a tying this based on gender because that makes a huge difference. In short, historical basis has been Men=resources not looks. Resources mean more likely to get dirty, more likely to get injured, more likely to have a deeper physical or even psychological toll that affects image, often lowering it as getting food becomes more important than the the dirt on your face. Women= not focused on resources, so not as likely to wreck their looks. Not getting hurt. Not getting dirty, etc. Jewelry has historically been for women=looks enhancer guys don't have. Prostitution historically also based on women but requires LOOKS. Also, looks for men back then didn't weigh as much I think. From what I know, a wife was near automatic and regardless of it. Especially as money became a main resource it was so much more transactional. Pretty sure wives were basically purchasable back then as parents had a lot of say in marriages. So a guy of any sort of looks could be automatically set up with a girl of the same. And even if unhappy, the girl back then no doubt had few ways to get out of it. Still happens today sometimes too. Therefore, for GIRLS, the looks are more automatic maybe increasing positivity.... But also nativity leading to what this comment pointed out, as getting trapped in shit relationships. Girls may have better personality somewhat even though looking better, but not always at least nowadays because it often leads to entitlement weighing heavy on personality. GUYS though usually have to work for harder for looks. Working out takes pain. It also takes time. Often months of commitment. Makeup doesn't in comparison. Neither does putting on high heels both of which again, majority of guys won't ever ever use. At most, a few hours. AT MOST. Any other way to change a man's look like hair gel usually isn't as effective as muscle gain. So for GUYS, we may be slightly more likely to have a better personality because of probability of entitlement. The entitlement if anything, may come AFTER muscle or money gain not before. Video doesn't take any of that into account. Makes a difference the video didn't mention.
i think another important thing to mention in this is how a persons personality often grows when they take steps to improve the way they look, or have a glow up after puberty and such. A perfect example of this is one of my friends from middle school who was often bullied by people for his looks. When we got into highschool he began putting more effort into the way he looked, getting a better haircut, putting better clothes on, exercising, and he ended up becoming a pretty popular person over the course of highschool. His personality was never bad, but you could see how much it also improve as he worked on improving his looks. I think a lot of a persons look can be directly tied to a persons personality. If someone doesn't brush their teeth, or wears mismatched clothing it can lead to them being percieved as nasty, or unorganized, and in many cases it is true. If they took the step to do those things and develop proper hygiene habits, their personalities also kinda evolve, making them more mature than they were before.
I also think beauty only matters when we're young. If we're old (like 50+) nobody will care how beautiful you look. And it's also about your environment and how life treats you. There are billions of unattractive people and many of them still live a happy and content life. You can't just blame everything for not being beautiful and attractive. Even attractive people have their own problems for being attractive. They sometimes attract problems but we just don't know. Noone is perfect!
Nah this is nonsense if you are specifically getting treated bad because of your looks it's reasonable to assume beauty plays a role into how you are treated
@@Broken-xp1lh that's maybe true but it's not always the case. if you are being treated bad bc of your look then those who treat you bad bc of your looks have zero personality. they are superficial people.
The halo effect is real, as a Strong Dark & Handsome, but it all the odds are against when my looks fraud that I'm a cool, outgoing & stud! In reality I'm a loner virgin that's awkward & has low self-esteem. Which later ppl figure out & repel the thoughts they had.
its so weird because when i started watching qoves i realized that the halo affect is so real. maybe i was living in ignorance but i honestly thought your looks did not matter at all and people are just normal to everyone and the bias on looks doesn't exist in the real world. i thought everyone got compliments so its not that serious. i thought being put well together and being nice is enough to do the job (i still think so tbh) but then i opened my eyes and realized i was benefiting from the halo affect. "conventionally" attractive females would befriend me and they'd just assume i was "intimidating, "smart" or that a lot of guys talked with me. Some girls wouldnt even look at me but go behind my back asking my other friends "who is she?". now the weird thing is that i have acne. its not much but still acne is an aesthetic flaw. but regardless of that i havent had problems attracting guys (unconciously even). its also easier for me to walk up to people because their reactions are always positive. its so weird but everyone just likes me even though i dont reveal much of who i am. its weird how the world is so biased
i still do think beauty is subjective. maybe majority finds me attractive but thats not for everyone. one thing i learned about being atttactive is staying realistic. so honestly be put together and just act nice lol i think it works even if u dont benefit from halo affect purely based on aesthetics.
also being attractive just gives you gateway to be more cocky. an attractive person that is mean and judgemental is just insecure. even though you are attractive you will always want to better yourself which can lead to you being way more harsh ab the way you look or present yourself. but the way you treat yourself reflects on the way you treat others = mean pretty people.
when you're attractive and you're walking around, it's like the red carpet treatment..........................who doesn't want to be treated well??!! as long as you don't take it too seriously it's fine. i thought people were nice too until i went out a few times with my ugly obnoxious male cousin. people would feel his vibe FEET away and then as he came closer people would CRINGE at his God-awful cursed face and walrus -shaped midget body. and he was RUDE. he would tell people i was his girlfriend behind my back the two times we went out (i was on holidays in europe) and i refused to go out with him again!! i find ugly men mean and insecure and they are such LIARS. they think lying is going to make people like them or flashing cash will get them girls but NO WAY!! an ugly appearance AND bad character for a male plus intellectually inferior equals a TRULY MISERABLE LIFE...................
@@sour17 it's so weird, I feel like people either hate or really love me, not much in between. I look like a good looking super villain and people very often expect the worst of the worst of me. But they also believe all the bullshit I say and notice everything I do lol. I am a bit cocky XD But I really value people and their opinions.
We can all point to examples of why this theory is correct or that theory is not, and of course it is purely anecdotal. I have know people who were never attractive yet were some of the sweetest and most down to earth, interesting people I ever knew, and it was not just ugly people overcompensating either. I never felt particularly attractive, always kept a running tab of my many deficiencies. But, on an overall basis I was not sure if I was considered handsome or not. I got a lot of mixed messages. There were times when I was convinced all these people dropping hints at me and outright saying how good-looking I was were both spontaneous and sincere, without an agenda (usually, though a few made it clear they were open to whatever). I will be 65 in the spring and I still am not clear about this, though in hindsight seeing photos from earlier years I feel betrayed by my self-image because I was a great looking young man, you count up your pluses and minuses different towards the end of life than you do as a person just starting out. But, beware, your own internal self-image can fool you. And it is not just dysmorphia saying you are ugly when you are not, it can go the other way. For example, when I look in the mirror I still see a full head of brown hair though with graying/silvering in a tonsure pattern around the lower part of my hair. The reality when I am at the barber shop and they put that black cape on me and start cutting my hair is that it is nearly all white or gray. How can you just be unable to see reality for what it is? I find it an absolutely astonishing effect. Clearly my memory is warping what I see. Anyone else have this happening?
As a woman, when it comes to men, we tend to find them more visually and physically attractive when they have other traits we value and we have conversational chemistry with them. That might be why you'd been getting mixed signals haha, its actually probably a good indication that a lady is really into you if she's going out of her way to express that is one way. I get what you mean about being betrayed by past self image, I feel that way looking back at my past skin as someone with adult acne lol. And I think most people experience that with their weight
@@LemonSte nah it’s not that complicated. Women find most men unattractive and most importantly don’t meet the threshold themselves that they want in men. Rest is just compensation. Most of the time “personality” means “effort” as in “you’re not good looking enough for me so put more effort into pleasing me”.
Pretty privilege is real. However, I realized a long time ago, only because someone looks good, doesn't mean they are automatically nice. In reality, many attractive people I met don't have good personalities, because most of them think their appearance is their personality. Sometimes, there is nothing else there. I noticed that pretty often. I hate it when attractive people can act out as total idiots because their looks "allow" it. Maybe it's just my bad experience, but I became skeptical when I see attractive people on the streets or on social media. That is why I learned, from a young age, to wait until people show their "true face" wherever they are labeled as pretty or not.
Yeah lets generalize a large group of people based on personal experiences and victimize ourselves. I am not saying your experiences aren't true, Im just saying, your experiences aren't a sample of a scientific experiment and they profoundly lack rationality which isn't exactly reasonable because this reinforce the feelings you are already holding dearly close to you and doesn't allow for the truth to sneak in. The truth is, I don't know shit and so do you. Juge people based on who they are and not how they look, thats a process you can rationalise and instead of counting how many attractive people are not as good as a product as they should have been according to the reviews on Amazon, start counting how many unattractive people are exactly as unfortunately ungifted in the storefront as in their messy wharehouse. And you'll start realising that yeah, you really can't tell on which side do we score the highest in terms of assholerie.
@@henrionlyfemmes8430 I spoke out of experience and yes due to that experience it is my personal matter and choice hat I generalize that special group of people. There is no scientific evidence just experience. I judge people how they treat me and others. I don't care if they are pretty or not. I focus on behaviour not appearance. That is the message behind my comment. There will always be rationalism on each side. Here is another experience: people who were labeled as ugly or weird were always nice to me. I know that I can't think in black or white. There are shades of grey and I let people's behaviour guide my decision on how I see them.
same, first year of Uni I was in the same classes as the girl voted as the most attractive girl in the whole university(12 000 students in Canada), when i stepped back to see if she was a good person I realized she wasn't and her mistakes/offenses (cheating, jokes about newly death people, taking advantage of people help for her projects cuz shes attractive etc) were litterally always ignored and at most people would find excuses for her. Her social status was always at the top no matter what she did.
I work with three women who from societies standards would be considered attractive...they are very good at socialising, they have great facades, very affable. But once you sit and listen to their conversations you realise how vacuous they are. They are not good people but because they are attractive nobody challenges their behaviour I can say the exact same things as them and would be chastised straight away. They're also very entitled because everything has come easy to them. It's so frustrating because I know their true colors as I'm not fooled by pretty faces but everybody else just plays along with them and thinks their great. Even after I've told family or friends some of things these women have said or done to me they will make excuses for them or try and blame me somehow it's so weird.
@@mstarburst I totally agree with you. It angers me when other people say stuff like: "He/ She did that? No, I don't believe you, they *look* too nice for that."
I was a foreign service child, so was blessed with the opportunity to live in foreign country every 3 years since I was born; which means I've met A LOT more people than the average person. I noticed the MEANEST people I met were the ugliest looking... like outright bullies.
Was there a country that had more mean people? And was there a country that had less mean people, or maybe the same amount of mean people but they were less extreme in their meaneness?
@@burpie3258 German, French, and Canadian* (yes lol) were quite rude. Spain and Bahrain were very nice. *Canada; I lived in Ontario, and they had a weird obsession on hating Americans. It was so odd. I didn't get that hostility when I was in the Middle East lmao
@@alessandrakalini one of my high school bullies actually opened up to me when she found out I was moving. She broke down in tears apologizing for how she bullied me, She explained the reason she did was out of jealousy and because I was too nice to fight back. Her family would say mean comments on her appearence, so she would project the same comments onto me.
Yea, Qoves. I totally agree with this. It's just the reality in most cases tbh. Thanks for pointing this out in a clear and rational way. Love ya. The only thing I don't agree with it's the advice of working first on looks over personality. I know that the context means that it's better to do that for more real tangible social outcomes. But personality should come first for own personal well being and mental health. First over looks. I still really like this vid anyways
@@madisonatior4414 I get why you say that. The thing is, that even if you get to improve your looks, and actually get treated better by people, your concerns about their opinion wouldn't necessarily stop to bothering you. But working on personality first, in the sense of working on developing better mindsets and attitudes towards situations and relationships, can help you have more peace of mind. This is obviously my opinion and everyone is free to do what they think it's best. Also, people can work on both at the same imo hehe.
in CHINA and JAPAN parents send their kids to the best schools to prepare them for to work for the top companies. upon graduation and just before they apply for jobs, they are whisked away to the plastic surgeon's where they make them as attractive as possible. only THEN are the children seen as fit to be hired by the best companies in the country! take from that what you will. not too much pressure, huh??!!
@@sarahfranco6802 good intentions always. i was citing an example of how people utilize personality and looks in another country. i used education as an example of building your character/personality. i also found it interesting that education and character-building/personality isn't enough in peoples' eyes (rather unfortunate but life is unfair and humans' brain are biologically hard-wired to react intensely to beauty)and that they additionally send their kids to plastic surgeons AFTER completing their studies and BEFORE concentrating on job hunting. did i explain myself adequately?? ask me whatever you want clarification on and i'd be happy to explain.
It would also be important to talk about how much more vulnerable attractive people are. They are basically a target. Because the attention is all on them. They go through immense pressure, not just positive, also negative. A lot of people who are jealous want you to fail just so they feel better about themselves. People will talk about them and that means not just a lot of compliments but also a lot of insults and sometimes even lies to downgrade their social image. People are more likely to be obsessed with them witch means there are also the people who will be “friends” just so they are close enough to take their anger out on them and will actually give them shady advice even and subtly shadily talk about them in a demeaning manner to slowly destroy their social image. Witch does work. It’s not easier ti br really attractive. You still have to work fucking hard to get to your goals. You have a lot of perks, yes, but also a load of other challenges. So don’t victimize your self weather you are attractive, average or unattractive. Life has challenges for everyone.
I agree that it feels incredible to be admired for your looks and it makes you feel like you can do anything. But also, how people view you is often contingent on whether or not you'll go out with them or their friend. You can easily become a villain in their eyes and their friend's eyes if you reject them. Which can most certainly make you feel isolated.
Yess I agree so much with this! I had a major glow up after high school. Now even my university professors single me out for my “beauty” during class lol. I’ve had to deal with SO much more attention that people take it REALLY personally when I choose to not, god forbid, be friends with them or date them or whatever. People go really quickly from “omg she’s so pretty and I can’t believe she’s my friend” to “she’s pretty but she never made plans with me after I poured my heart out to her and cried in her arms within 20 minutes of getting to know each other”. Truth is I already have a fulfilling social life and I’m not looking for more friends. And ppl can be rly weird. I can go on and on abt this but I’ll stop here lol
@@GIGADEV690 I am a guy, and what I've learned is that women care A LOT about who dates who. Like they'll cry and turn red and become obsessive if you don't date their friend. They'll go around talking shit about you and turn people against you and ultimately cost you a promotion or a job. Women help each other out and even get other men to pitch in, so the girl that likes you doesn't have to get her hands dirty. It's not all rainbows and sunshine. We live in a fucked up world full of entitled people who don't play fair.
This isn't always the case, though. In my opinion it's also possible for an attractive person to become haughty as a result of being treated better by society, and the same with an ugly person being able to better empathize with others as a result of their poor treatment (I'm not saying anyone should be treated horribly, just saying the possibility). Beware the halo effect, it's all too easy to fall into its trap.
All this is so true for my experience. When i was younger i was average-looking. I was pretty confident as a child and early teenager and used to dress up really flamboyant and weird for a place where i live. It continued in teenage years but i became more unconfident in my looks. I wasn't mistreated or ignored. Actually i always had someone to talk to but i had a few insecurities due to health condition. I also was depressed. Now in my twenties my appearance changed drastically, i've chosen my favourite color palette, shapes of the clothes, hair and makeup. I started doing it in high school and the way people treated me changed. After 4 years i feel very confident and more disciplined when it comes to hygiene, schedule, self-education. But the one thing is still here. Feeling that i'm still a little girl incompetent and uncharismatic to the point that i will never be able to find new friends and family. Which is bullshit because i have 3 friend, normal healthy family relationships, friendly workplace and a boyfriend. I wouldn't call it loneliness but a fragile peace i found not a long time ago and i'm scared to loose it in one moment. The other thing that scares me is that i get along with other women pretty well but usually they don't try to befriend me. Maybe i scare them off or they think that i won't be interested in them and try to keep the friendship. Friendship is the most desirable and complicated skill a almost lack
I think this is only true to a certain extent. I would call myself a standardly attractive person and the way I get treated is extremely different depending on how I interact with my surroundings. When I have a bad day and walk around scowling, so does everyone else who interacts with me. If I am happy and carefree with a smile on myself, people ask me for my number and are in general much nicer. If you aren‘t someone who is either extremely attractive or extremely unattractive it always pays off to be nice to other people.
you don't get treated well by other women either at work or school because of pure envy. you have to take it with a grain of salt, feel flattered but remain cautious because they could cause you harm. for example, get you in trouble at work or make rumors up and tell someone who is interested in you and make you fight. beauty stirs up intense emotions so have fun but be careful!!
Interesting video but it's easy to point out the advantages of being attractive vs unattractive. I'd say more people fall closer to the middle. Anecdotally, I'd also say that average-looking people tend to develop (on average) way better personalities than either of the others.
Depends how you measure a good personality, sure an average person would in general be more likely to have a wellrounded and more grounded personality but a 9+/10 would still be seen as more charismatic by majority of people
@@nothing-jl2dz I'd say well-roundedness includes charisma. From what I've seen, attractive people have more confidence, yes BUT they generally don't have the other traits that I'd consider good-personality traits. They tend to lack well-roundedness: interesting conversation, humour, inclusiveness, loyalty, maturity etc. The list goes on but I'm guessing you understand what I mean. I totally understand how beauty can give the illusion of great personality though.
@@mpc7440 This is just based of my experience... I've worked with actors and models and I enjoy hanging out with people all over the beauty spectrum. I've seen these people in the same rooms and the attractive people aren't as interesting. I hear your point but I don't think it's a familiarity thing. Average people hang out with average people because that's who they generally have access to; same with attractive and unattractive people.
Very interesting. I’m curious to know more about the difference between people who always looked great, and those who grew very attractive over time. Any studies on that, I wonder?
Has point too because people are visual, attractive physical appearance has an advantage. Even child knows how to distinguish attractive to unattractive. Beautiful ppl has a passport already to succeed in life though not all the time . Unattractive ppl must have at least intelligent and kind and rich 😊 Richness or being wealthy makes ppl likeable, respected and admired.
Now I understand (even more) why I have always been rejected by my family, work colleagues, schoolmates... 😂🙌 maybe I will have that so-called "glow up" in my 50s (if I reach that age). But yeah, basically everything you're saying in the video is true and it makes a lot of sense. I've been watching it all my life. I was one of those who has been educated in the idea of ``do not judge people by appearances´´. I've always been one of those who was attracted to handsome men but of course... now that's being politically incorrect. I started giving opportunities to "ugly" guys and the treatment that these types of men have given me has been TERRIBLE. I will never be with one of those misogynists ever again. I'll go for the handsome ones. Even if they cheat on me... at least I can boast that I got a very hot guy. And if I get to have children (although I don't like children) at least the probability that they will turn out handsome will be high. Choosing good genes will give you handsome children so that they have the so-called ``Pretty privilege´´
I'm sorry about your experience.I'm not gonna say just be positive or stuff like that but maybe you have perception errors?It can happen to even attractive people.Don' worry tho, everyone finds someone eventually.
reminder that looks are not the only thing that facilitate positive feedback loops. it is possible to build great personalities without the gift of looks.
I know attractive people can have it easy. But if you are an attractive ethnic male in the US or Europe. It's like women can like you a lot, but so many guys hate you (including other ethnic guys). I feel like other guys may understand what I mean.
@wanda3 thank you. Yeah makes sense too. It's like so many of the opposite sex do clearly like you but in a weird way it's like you're not allowed to be so attractive that any race can like you despite not being white
This video has a flaw in its proposition because personality manifests in layers. Most attractive people are incredible nice at first sight. But knowing their true personality takes time and increasingly deeper interactions to see their true colors.
Did the writer of this channel ever go outside LA or some highly superficial society? In the real world, people are not THAT obsessed with looks. There are tons of average people who have much more pleasant personalities than the 5 or 6 truly handsome people I know (4 of which are almost anti-social).
I don't live in LA or some highly superficial society but I can confirm that people (specially women) will judge you by your looks, your looks will highly affect your social life and personality. You're a ignorant fool if you think the otherwise
the cosmetics and plastic surgery industries are billion dollar industries and they are increasing in profit yearly. now men are getting in on the action and also poor people because of credit card companies along with plastic surgery offices have devised plans where anyone can pay monthly on beauty procedures.lots of interest of course but for the possibility of becoming beautiful it's small price to pay!
As someone who has experienced narcissistic abuse, smiley and friendly people can hide one the darkest personalities and be one the most abusive people.
There's really no greater privilege than being attractive - literally playing life on easy mode. Being pumped full of positivity and confidence from childhood, having sympathy every time you fuck up, always having people seek your attention... The only downside is that, in my experience, attractive people are often not aware of what a difference it makes which can lead to them being very entitled and unempathetic. The other thing is that, particularly for women, beauty fades and very attractive people will be hit much harder by the shift in how they are perceived as they pass their peak.
Fuk. I remember I had a lot more unique and interesting personality till I fell into quite a bad group of people for a while. So definitely personality is shaped by likes and support of people around. If you get to be around people whose personalities suck, you also can loose some of your own personality while around them. Would better looks help to stay yourself ? Perhaps. But good looking people are also usually more socially adaptive, capable of adjusting themselves at different environments, also perhaps due to being more welcomed so they can slip through with few more "mistakes".
I know I’m just addressing the thumbnail for this comment but I view Henry Cavill as someone who is so attractive it actually causes him problems. He’s very well liked by a lot of people male and female because he’s this introverted kind gamer guy who reads fantasy but like what just happened to him suddenly not playing Superman, his career seems to constantly be sabatoged by folks who don’t see his worth and may be jealous or have some negative subconscious reaction to him. A lot of people are comfortable making very inappropriate segg ual comments to him and he’s had difficulty dating because it’s put under the radar so much and the women criticized and scrutinized. Other than making a living I do not think that being attractive is helping him - it seems to stir up jealousy and a desire to humiliate him. I’m wondering if others also think this.
His attractiveness probably built his success though, like with most actors/actresses... And I don't think he was sabotaged, I think he wanted to stop playing the roles, like with the Witcher, he wants that Warhammer 40k role.
His career is mostly down to him being attractive though. He might get a few comments in interviews that seem to focus on his looks more than acting ability but that doesn't mean his looks have sabotaged him. It just means there are a few side effects. All of the roles he has had have been roles that are meant to be filled by attractive men. There are other attractive actors who loose or gain a lot of weight etc to portray ugly people, but Henry hasn't even done that.
his career definitely wasn't sabotaged because of his looks, he stopped acting for the witcher because it wasn't true to the source, and got kicked from working as superman since they're rebooting superman with a younger actor for a decade or two
It just sucks when people you value can't tolerate any changes to your personality. It really does but there will also be people who will support you no matter what. And that's what's important.
I need to disagree... when I was in high school, observing interactions of others I saw quite a few attractive people being bullied, called dumbasses - and some unattractive people being the cool kids. I don't know how this works, maybe they had the confidence? Or perhaps you don't need to be like super attractive to have a "good" personality.
It's because it depends, I had the same experience.There are moments when popular kids are not attractive or average but they are dominant and the attractive ones are timid and less dominant so they might be a target because of it.The popular ones usually have more money and girls wear excessive makeup and good clothes, and with that kind of circumstances they get up in some way.
I got bullied cause the bullies knew girls were attracted to me by looks only. I was just minding my business most of the time. They had to do all this bad boy nonsense to get noticed.
All the ugly people that were popular probably had money and that’s where their confidence came from, because they could literally afford it. Most beautiful people that are shy are poor.
Personality can really affect ones beauty. There was this guy who looked pretty average, and at first I thiught he was pretty cute. He isn’t conventionally attractive though, so not a lot of people wanted to be friends with him (he also was quite rude but I decided to give him a chance). He started being very rude though, asking me inappropriate questions and talking about my body, which was when he became really unattractive to me.
I am a homely guy, not ugly but funny looking, who has a brother who was movie star handsome. He was a super-cute child and girls were throwing themselves at him by the time he was 13, while I had to work hard to be likeable or even noticed. Consequently I developed an outgoing, engaging personality, pursued a successful career and have many long term, genuine friends and admirers. As a teen my brother became obsessed with being "cool" and was pressured by his dumb, drug-using friends to have sex with a girl at 15 before he was ready. They said that if he didn't he'd be labeled a "fag," so he took a girl into a bedroom at a drunken teenage party, but couldn't accomplish the act because of his inexperience, so he developed a deep hatred of "sluts" and a loathing of homosexuality and a fixation that "queers" were trying to convert him. He developed an obnoxious, arrogant personality, abused his body with drugs and alcohol, and got married to a nice woman from the Philippines because he thought he could dominate her and she could never divorce him because of her Catholic upbringing. 20 years later his relationship with his wife is totally cold, he goes without bathing as a passive-aggressive way of showing his contempt for her and at 62 he has quit working, is morbidly obese, diabetes has robbed him of his eyesight and he does nothing but sit, drink beer, smoke pot, watch football and eat junk food.
@@loulou7194 I am physically fit at age 64, exercise regularly, eat healthy, look 50 though I've gone bald and my nose has grown bigger than ever. I've had a series of girlfriends but never married, am still working as an artist in the animation industry, am facing old age with optimism, but a little disappointed that I never established a relationship with a life partner because my standards are too high. I've only dated highly attractive women who turn out to be crazy and impossible-- mainly artist's models, actresses and porn stars. I present myself as a big deal in the entertainment field, but I'm really not, I'm just another worker in the studios, but I drive a luxury car and have nice furniture and wear stylish clothes.. I have to hand it to my brother that he chose a wife who is stable and honorable, who was cute when she was young but is now a dumpy, tired-looking older Filipino lady (my brother and I are white) but at least she is responsible, still working and supporting him. His two sons are in their twenties, and seem to be doing well, though both live at home, are very close to their mother and even sleep in her bedroom while my brother has his own room. They always have multiple visitors from the Philippines who constantly chatter in Tagolog while my brother sits alone out in his converted garage/music studio, drinking, smoking pot and watching football. He's got a lot of guitars and guns in there. He has nothing but cynical, disparaging gossip to say about his wife and her family. His house is ramshackle and cluttered in a poor, dangerous neighborhood and he seems to have no personal friends. I live alone in a nice house in an upper-middle-class section of town and have warm, genuine, mutually respectful friendships going back decades. I hate going over to my brother's for the holidays because he has such a sour personality, looks so unhealthy and won't introduce me to any of the Filipinos who are always hanging around, so I feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. More than once I've tried to hold a conversation with him while he sniffs cocaine and cleans a handgun, carelessly pointing it in my direction. He must say terrible things about me to his wife because she shies away from me. His sons think I'm great, though-- I'm their bright, funny, creative uncle. I feel that being so remarkably good-looking harmed my brother, while looking like a brainy, beaky nosed, bespectacled nerd made me strive harder to be a good person.
@@TheTruth-cy4le Wow, with your experience, you could write a book or an anime, a bit like 'Legends of The Fall', the story about two brothers and their journeys in the post-modern times. Most modern men have the technology and evolutionary psychology' knowledge, but lacks some benchmarks, love, respect, self-esteem and ambition. You have an artistic background, that could be really interesting.
@@loulou7194 Another note on my romantic life-- I had an unusually high sex drive in my youth and with my unattractive face I had to work overtime to impress the ladies, but I was full of energy and determination.. I tended to zero in on poor women who were show business wannabes and developed a knack for seeming more important than I really was. I was obsessed with physical beauty and found that lovely women were less interested in looks than in a stepping stone to a glamorous career. But they weren't the homemaker type, and now they're all over 50, depressed and insecure as their looks fade just as I myself am experiencing the decline in sexual potency that usually accompanies advanced years, and they blame themselves for no longer turning me on, longing for those days when their sex appeal was like a magic spell that enchanted everyone around them and feeling as if they have no future I hate to sound like a cad, but I guess I've pursued the Playboy ideal of the swinging bachelor and now those days are drawing to an end. I'm fine with it now, but how will I feel in my 80s or 90s?
Beauty is mostly genetics, but the other part that isn't does tell us something about you. My experiences are that people who take care of themselves are generally very sociable. As a young man I thought they would be assholes but as I grow older and I have to interact with more and more people I find that hipsters tend to be more agreeable and easier to deal with then non hipsters for example. And alt looking people tend to be, well lets say hard to get to know. More importantly though, do good looks indicate good overall development. You could reason they do, and it is so if things are dependent on each other, then lets say brain development and organ health should be reflected by superficial indicators. But if the development of one is not very related to the other then the opposite is true. Because statically getting lucking in appearance, smarts, good cardio is less probably then being lucky in one area but less so in another.
Yes, I don't like the stereotype that good people are good looking and bad people are bad looking, but it can sometimes be true.Sometimes they want to convince us that beautiful people are superficial and rude and ugly are poor and good which is bs in disguise.
Although there isn't a lot of research in this area I suspect personality is largely genetic too. Sure you can mimic a different personality, I have done it at times and it does change how people treat you. But the baseline personality never seems to change in people and mimicking gets tiring. My childhood friends still act the same way well into their teenagers. The cousins I grew up with still act the same, literally they are all exactly like they used to be. In fact, my younger cousins and brother still act the same way they did when they were four. I have never seen anyone change their personality, hence I have very rarely if ever seen changes in social hierarchies. More often than not, children have a very similar personality to one of their parents. In fact, I believe, we can predict people's personalities based on their behavior in the first three years of their lives. From what I have heard about myself and my peers, I would say none of us ever changed. I suspect most of everything is genetics. Whether that's the case or not, it helps me in being more forgiving and understanding of people.
have you not learnt anything from this channel? beauty is definitely not mostly genetics and there are many things you can do, there is literally no excuse to be ugly in 2022
I wouldent say so usually people who are very attractive arent as intelligent as people who are less attractive nature balances out the world that way.
Hi Qoves Studio I just read a research paper on (American) TV advertising that I would love your opinion on. The data found that advertisers ALWAYS used models for their commercials BUT, they also always made sure to make the models appear as common and, plain as possible. What do you think this says about how people view beautiful people? Personally I think we humans love the sight of beautiful people but, we don't want them so beautiful that they appear unattainable or, that we are beneath them: what are your thoughts? Do you agree? If yes then do you believe that someone can be so beautiful that it actually makes people unattracted to them? I asked because whenever I hear beautiful people-like celebrities-complain how hard it is for them in dating or, how no one ever asks them out I thought it was lies and, they were just too picky but, now... 🤔 Anyway I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this.
it's TRUE my brother, very true. especially in smaller cities/towns where people keep to themselves more. this happens after a certain age too because people have experienced rejection and disappointment so a guy will see a beautiful lady and be so jaded that he couldn't be bothered to take a chance. why risk another rejection, right?? hope this helps!! regarding the "too beautiful" part, being very beautiful just gets you more admiration. yes, most men will be significantly nervous but to the point where they are turned off?? absolutely NOT!! our brains, especially mens' brains, are NOT wired that way towards beauty. the more beautiful, the better for lighting up the pleasure centers of our brains!! bye, brother.
I agree that attractive people get away with being dicks. But I disagree that they develop good personalities. Some of the most insecure and emotionally unstable people I know are very attractive. I think it’s because deep down they believe that people only like them for their looks.
@@angelategos7217 Oh yeah, let's search for those attractive people with good personalities that you could count on two hands. Just have to waft through a shit stream of 8 billion people. No biggie.
do you think it's more sociological or is it more biological? Personally, my mother always used to have a bias toward saying that beautiful people are often lazy idiots because nature is greedy and doesn't give out both beauty and brains, I always try to judge people by their personalities, but because of my mother I always subconsciously thought that more attractive people were dumber and less reliable because of it, so maybe it's all about how we teach children too? Ofc, now I'm more aware of this bias of mine and all the benefits of being attractive, however, I live on the other side of the globe and most of the research has been done in the west, so I wonder if the halo effect and other biases are really that prevalent in other cultures?
As someone who is living on the opposite side of the world, i can easily say yes. I'm in southeast asia. Since it's 'biological', the exact same outcome is to be expected regardless of geography and demography. Being blackpilled i can see things clear as day even to the point where i can predict the outcome of certain circumstances. The halo effect is real.
BEAUTY has the same effect on people EVERYWHERE. our brains are hard-wired biologically to respond positively to beauty. a lot of people blame it on society and learned behaviour but this is simply untrue. there was a study done where babies looked at faces and the scientists observed their responses. the babies cried at the ugly faces and smiled for a long period of time at the attractive faces. i've actually witnessed this when my son was a baby. makes sense but it also proves the biological origins of certain behaviours and responses.
beauty is prized and coveted worlwide and in every culture but i find that in poor countries, it is more advantageous to be beautiful because you can get a wealthy man interested in you whereas in north america, the job market and education system is much better so women aren't in that desperate mode as much.. all in all, everybody desires to be beautiful, just like everybody wants money BUT you know what the TRUE MEANING OF LIFE IS???????? JESUS.
Weakness corrupts and absolute weakness corrupts absolutely... and not being attractive yet feeling attracted to attractive people is a weakness... that certainly can turn into repulsion, envy and "Ressentiment" eventually...
Why? Attractiveness signals health. Our biggest priority is reproduction and healthy people make healthier babies so it’s not sad it’s nature learn to live with it
@@orlandoanderson24yearsago85 Nature being nature doesn’t mean I have no reason to be sad about it, some people just get the bad end of the stick in life, don’t they have the right to not be happy about it ? Yes sure seeking attractive partners leads to positive things but still, it's reality sure but it's a sad one, I do agree on the fact that learning to live with it is a good thing though, or more like the only thing some people can do.
@@orlandoanderson24yearsago85 If we were just black boxes with no subjective experience then it would be all good but because we do have subjective experience then there is a real conciousness experiencing all of those bad feelings.
Unattractive people are nicer A. They are not treated nice by others all the time therfore will cherish their friends B. They know neglect and bad treatment from others and will treat others nice because of this C. Attractive people are much more likely to use thier looks to their advantage
Idk if there’s a linear relationship between personality and attractiveness (not as much as people think). People on either end of this argument make it seem simple and they have good points and anecdotes, but personality is way more complicated than that on the whole. And it seems like being a little above average attractiveness makes for the best balanced person who hasn’t had it too hard, has general social acceptance, but also won’t have an identity crisis when they turn 35 and have forehead wrinkles. (My especially attractive friends are a little miserable right now and the confidence dive is steep…we are in our thirties). A lot of deep confidence and basic sense of security comes from having parents and family who love you unconditionally and make you feel safe, for example. So confidence is more complicated too. The only one that makes sense is humor, which is part of personality. Attractive people get more laughs at a joke. This could make them more confident in being goofy (a very fun personality trait) but the people I’ve know with a cunning, shrewd hilarious smart humor have been of average attractiveness or lower. Standup comedians repeatedly put themselves in front of tough crowds (usually for a whole year just for one special) as part of the creative process to find out what jokes are actually funny. The super attractive don’t have tough crowds. So in my opinion they aren’t as funny on average. But they can be freer and goofier…which is also nice. Idk…a lot of subcategories on this one.
I know it's just anecdotal but most of the very attractive people I've met had the most vapid "personalities" ever, like they solely relied on their looks and it was enough for them to not need to develop anything else at all. The halo effect is just a facade, because when it matters most "seeming" more intelligent is useless, to get anywhere in life in most career paths you actually need the brain for it.
The halo effect will surely fades if we take time to know them. The physical appearance might be tricky but if we try to spend time with them and have a conversation about different things, what's inside behind the face will come out.
It's a nice analysis, but I think it falls short and it doesn't determine the correlation between personality and looks. I'd explore the issue asking "is this set on the stone of biological conditions or is it generated because of nowadays sociocultural statuses or a combination o both?"
@@SPDRM We all know deep down if we are averrage looking , good looking or ugly. One good way to know it is comparison we do unconsciously and conciscloy when we see somebody. Or simply the way you are treated. Yes women do live in their imagination and believe they are all that but they quickly know next to a model they are averrage. I'm good looking it's a fact but put me next to a super tall super model with an extraordinary beautiful face and I'll know I'm not as beautiful as her and I accept It.
@@SPDRM Yup indeed. The hardest thing for a Woman to do is to say the Truth. We li&e to each other and others all the time. How many times have I heard before I changed physically that I was so Pretty even when I wasn't. The only way you know if you are pretty is when men tell you. They are honest. I mean at least more then woman are And yes when you are good looking you just know that you are. People don't need to tell you. It's averrage looking people who want to convince themselves that they are even though we know they are not.
Sounds like the Halo effect. When you find someone attractive, it leaks into other aspects of their personality. Similar to how love can blind someone. On the flip side, a person who survives strictly on good looks is less likely to have a well rounded personality.
My brother has always been remarkably handsome. When he was young he was almost too good looking, and had a very nice, sweet, innocent personality until he reached his teens and girls started falling all over themselves for him, and he gradually became cold, cynical, arrogant, egotistical, manipulative, a liar, a bully and all around jerk. He's in his 60s now and obese, drug-addled, alcoholic, diabetic, nearly blind, divorced, his kids won't talk to him and he blames everyone but himself for his problems. I'm homely but treat others with respect and kindness and am treated kindly in return.
People should really stop seeing attraction as the be all and end all of life, seriously. You don't need to be good looking to have a fulfilling life. And attractive people, even if their lives are generally better, have their own problems too. Also I find it funny when humans, supposedly so rational, are so very willing to forget that rationality because someone's face is more symmetrical and proportionate than the rest 💀
Well yes they should, but it has something in the biology and brain reactions.I read somewhere that men react to a beautiful woman the same as they would to cocaine, dopamine thing it's kinda funny but not unbelievable you must say.🤣
I think attraction and dating are generally about seeking longevity (health and fortune) and gaining something you don't have (enough) from your partner. Just my observation People who are well-groomed reflect one's good vitality, confidence and stable financial
People say I am attractive but they also treat me unfairly and badly (usually taking advantage of me) or underestimating/undermining me in someway. I don't get why, are they lying? or is there something else at play?
It's normal. When they see us they believe we are extraordinary. When they notice we are more than a pretty face and no we are not dolls they can do whatever they want with they leave. Don't take it personally. Ever. I know it's not easy but with God anything is possible. Don't focus too much on your looks. Sure take care of yourself but don't make it your whole being.
