Exactly the problem is most people place so much worth on beauty, but also beauty is subjective. Like personally I’ve found some pretty “unattractive” people beautiful.
the only thing more brutal than being ugly and being treated poorly because of it, is having people claim that “you just need to work on your personality” or “beauty is subjective!”
I think that "you need to work on your personality" is actually fair kind of. But people need to acknowledge that they need to be more attractive personality-wise because of they suck genetically. I mean they really need to be exposed to this cruel reality shit. Kind of compensation maybe? I personally could easily pull up in long term relationship with someone who doesn't meet my standards (which are not that high already I guess?) if the personality would be beautiful and intriguing. But tbh I've only once met a person who was really interesting and entertaining and was like low tier in terms of beauty. I dunno how does it work, if I was ugly (I consider myself mid but I experienced much problems with being insecure about my attractiveness) I would think first about being the best at everything else to you know make people be genuinely interested in me.
@@Aaron-kj8dv then u ask them if u find them so beatifull would u date him The girl on tiktok said sais well i wouldn't But there is someome out there who would. Like since when do people start saying there is somone out there for everyone??
exactly one of my friend said that to me and now i don't want to be her best friend anymore just normal friends i don't want to be close with people that only have one way to live bec she's average person don't have the same trait to understand how annoying people are n she probably love people bec she have lots of friends opposite of me n i can see she also don't like when people being rude to her for no reason then why should i go on tolerate people find me repulsive merely bec of how i look and it's alot of people almost everywhere i go I'm the crazy yep they will say that about me but i agree i might be crazy cause I'm still polite to these people when they make fun of my looks n call me crazy....i can't be her bestie because she will tell me that I'm beautiful for her n go on tiktok quote what i said to her before n then say her opinion "so stop with the natural thing, i really don't need that when i get so much negative feedback" but she need to know we live in a society i need friends it's easy for her to say that cause she never run out of friends also i have a wider nose than average, people that don't know me completely will make fun of me all the time n it's annoying because basically everywhere i go people have to be extra rude to me... the nicest i hear is people convince another not to judge me and also they talking about future kids bec they worry about it happens to their future kids😂 also she will deny that's a statement against me bec i told her the sentence are something i wrote to her, she will go and change what i said by saying "haha English word is everywhere n why you think only you know how to write" she kind of acting like I'm wrong for saying she use what i wrote by dodging why it's exact same word what i said to her i even have in on the group chat with one of our friend , but at last i knew I'm right about cause she say could be her other friends say that i show her it's same date she still say that n i told her yeah but i remember you told me you were supportive if that's my decision then why talk about it on social media n if you said that's a different friends it's the same thing if you think your friends need that then you think the same about me n i told her if she really seen me as friends dealing with different opinions she should take it or leave it I'm not harming other people she goes hahaha i said take it or leave it n argue with her about that bla bla😁 yeah i know that's how i know she's not a real friend i still remember in highschool when i was eating with her once she told me i would be really pretty if i have a smaller nose👀she probably don't remember that but i will bec i care about her even though back then i will disagree that I'm her bestfriend n i was right we are not a match honestly , i wouldn't judge whether she want to be with her now boyfriend or break up i remember both times when she breaks up with her boy i don't care i just want her to be happy n when she got back together i thought the same what i care about is her being happy n i want myself be happy too n if she really thinks I'm being lunatic yep I'm lunatic for tolerating so many annoying remarks n stay being polite or just totally ignore those people that ever call me crazy bec of how i look , to tell them I'm different from them bec I'm not being a jerk but those being one i will just let them talk bec i believe my actions speaks i don't like them either ew nasty people n that i don't care about anything else i just know that i want to look normal n feel normal like back when i was in primary school I'm happy bec i was cute back then i think I'm at my cuteness peak by 9 yearold if not 6 yearold nose haven't fully developed i remember shocked when there's once i got a nosebleed n get medicine n the doctor said bec I'm younger it's easily tear n don't worry about the nosebleed my nose is still growing i was like no i think it should stop growing👀😳n i was right except i really don't expect to be this repulsive for humans😂
I am in some beauty/makeup groups and I noticed that the girls that are kinda just objectively plain or unattractive get a ton of comments like “omg girl you’re so gorgeous” and then the actual beautiful women get little to no comments or praise, often times a lot of criticism or lowkey jabs. Women love to gas up other women, so long as they aren’t better looking .
@@celestial6101 That can depend on your country's culture. Living in two countries, the way they react to your looks can be very different. In one, if you were truly beautiful you'd receive compliments all day and people would want to befriend you all the time. In the other, they'd stare at you _a lot_ and be intimidated to actually approach you unless it's a setting where you'd have to often interact with each other OR if you approached them first.
In the opposite way I have also realize that some people tend to call really attractive people “ugly” or say comments like “I don’t understand why everyone likes them” or “I have never found them attractive”. Is like they feel proud of it. Edit: Just to make it more clear, I’m aware that is completely normal to not feel attracted to someone that is considered attractive by “the majority”. The kind of people I’m referring to is the ones that tend to put so much effort in putting dow someone that is considered attractive just for the sake of making them feel unattractive and that they don’t deserve the attention they get. Same way there’s people that just dismiss someone’s attractiveness to feel superior for not following what the majority says. Also just because you don’t feel attracted to someone it doesn’t mean the person is not attractive.
I do say that kind of stuff but because I genuinely don't like some celebrities people find attractive, like for example the Kardashians. I think they look hideous before and after plastic surgery and it didn't work for them imo. Neither their bodies nor their faces are good looking because it looks too exaggerated and unnatural to be attractive to me.
But it can be true! Personally, I will never be able to find Bella Hadid beautiful. And it's is not BAD to say you don't understand the appeal if you're not trying to bring that person down and just express your opinion.
I think most of us who aren't conventionally attractive know we aren't because of how invisible we've felt for most of our lives, especially when being around people who ARE conventionally attractive and seeing how they get treated. I've felt that way for the longest time and have struggled with ways to improve my appearance, only to be told by friends and family they think I'm beautiful and I'm being silly and shouldn't focus on appearance so much. It feels frustrating and dismissive. On the other hand, almost every time I interact with people I get a question or comment about my appearance. "Have you lost weight?", "have you gained weight?", "your hair's going gray", "your cheeks look sunken in". You're not supposed to focus on looks because that's superficial, yet they constantly remind you how much attention they pay to your looks. I'd rather people just stay quiet altogether and I'll get my advice from the professionals. I also think the people on Reddit would be a lot more honest if the question were posed to them through an anonymous poll, so it wouldn't be part of their charity work for the day and they'd feel safer being honest.
this is true. It seriously sucks, in fact I've faced this as well myself. Back then my beard was never shaved, my hair looked like a mess, the amount of fat in my face was crazy. Yet, people gave me compliments about my looks. Well I tried dating and NOTHING worked, I couldn't get a single girl to be interested in me. After a while, I hit the gym, got rid of the fat in my face, built muscles and practiced skin care. Around this time I was recovering from a depressive episode so I was committed to change. What really delayed my improvement was the fact that the amount of compliments started going away as I was working on myself so this made me think that maybe I'll never look good. Still a year or two later, my jawlines look much sharper, I have a much lower body fat percentage and now have defined muscles and abs. Almost no compliments, but a much better success in the dating world. It's crazy, how much people lie to your face about something that is so important.
Yeah good luck on getting people to tell you, you're no attractive. Maybe your family do consider you beautiful, this sounds more like a you problem. You seem very depended on what others view you as, to the point that it's toxic. I mean what exactly do you want from your families and these polls? to confirm what you already feel and know? you already said people treat you differently than the conventional pretty people anyways, now you need a poll and validation from your family. Maybe you should find that within yourself, instead of looking outward so much. Nothing is better than self love, and I know that sounds corny but it's true, and a lot of unattractive people that have it stand out, people can feel that you lack confidence and they'll start to believe how you feel too. I've meet girls that I didn't find attractive, but they had so much self love, and carried themselves like a 10, and I subconsciously put them in that category. Anyways not everyone will be attractive and that's okay, that use to be accepted, now everyone feels entitled to it, work with what you have and make the best of it.
@@noneya1238 I don't think you understood what I was saying. I've never done any polls, I just meant the people on Reddit that this video is about probably would have been more honest in such a format. I am also not constantly looking for validation; I already said I'm pretty sure how I rate in general and have been trying to make some improvements. The constant remarks and questions I get on my appearance are unsolicited and without any context and also clash with the message that appearance doesn't matter, which is why I said I'd prefer it if people didn't say anything either way and I'll deal with whatever issues I have with my appearance on my own with professionals.
Are you the person in the roach costume? You look attractive enough to me. You are not ugly. Just average. I think you are saddened you can't move mountains with your looks. Neither can billions of other humans. Maybe you live in a place where there are people who are more attractive than you. I accepted that I won't move mountains with my looks. I exercise because I had back pains, leg mains and neck pains. They all went away when I started exercising. I also want to live at least 85 years. Yes, I could probably have someone give me the features of what is considered attractive. However, just know when everybody starts to go in for those surgeries, it becomes the norm. Then they'll lose any advantage. Now maybe that won't happen over the 30 or 40 year career path. If you want to move up without having to solely care about your looks, become a scientist. Yes attractive scientists are worshiped like they are angels in the field. It just means more people are willing to run and teach them. The truth is the only way scientists will become more attractive is if attractive people who go into it succeed lol. They'll attract attractive people and help them realize that they can do more than just be known for looks. People don't understand that being too attractive is also a curse. There are times when you want to be invisible, and they'll just keep coming non-stop. In fact a company failed somewhere in an asian country when they allowed an attractive woman the funds she needed for an experiment that failed. They gave her the benefit of the doubt...and now she's looked down upon in the scientific field. Haruko Obokata was her name...
A crazy thing that happened to me is that some people used to treat me better when I was ugly. When I started working out, treating my pimples, changed my hair, got the braces and glasses off and became pretty (at least in general) - some friends I considered close stopped complimenting me and commenting / liking my posts and pictures on social media. They also seem a lot more sensitive about things I say , I can’t really say nice things about myself or make some jokes because I seem arrogant or futile.
TYRANNICAL yep a lot of women become hostile toward prettier women. They like being around “ugly” girls bc it makes them look hotter in comparison. They love competing with each other
The worst part about this is that none of these people would date the very people they are calling beautiful. They’d say “they aren’t my type” and date someone much more physically attractive lol.
@@ZuZu66667 I dont understand doesnt both people have to choose each other? If a girl u dont like comes for u, how u going to accept it if u cant get it up, not only are u lying to yourself now youre wasting everyones time.
@@novueiro i have to disagree, yes of course guys have preferences and all of that, but you must be handsome too. Evolutionary women will choose the best features since they care the child for 9 months, but men aren’t picky, they want to spread their genes as fast as possible. This is hard wired into our biology, you can’t reason with it. Women will choose the men, unless the guy is very handsome.
Toxic positivity really sucks because in the end it’s doing way more damage to those who have the drive to be better. This is in any field be it beauty, art, work and so on. Like most of the people who ask for advice on self improvement can recognise they desire better and just need help understanding where to go and how to get there not nice little words to mask something.
Seriously it is damaging ! For years I was told I was thick not fat . Well here I am at healthy weight after losing 120 pounds in one year . I went back and looked at my pictures when I would be told this . I was huge , with a big belly and huge thighs . My boobs were smaller than my belly . My ass was wide and not thick . For years I was told I was thick and I believed it. It did me no favor I didn’t change the way I ate. What made me open my eyes ? COVID when I couldn’t breath at 269 pounds . Obesity made COVID that much worse for me . So yeah I wasn’t thick like everyone close to me made me believe , I was fat ! .
@@jackcranmer4904 thanks never have I ever weight a nórmate weight in my life . Last time I was at this weight was 6th grade and I’m 33 now . Sadly those who wanted to see me at a healthy weight now accuse me of doing drugs to get where I’m at . You can never win . Damn if do damn if I don’t 🤷🏻♀️. I’m happy and hot now !!!!! Something I’ve never said before!
Oh i have to tell u my experience , it was just observation about people’s psychology. So on insta i have posted reaally ugly, funny , unprofessional art (i mean my art) and it had big reactions: wooow an amazing art, bravooo, it’s very different, interesting , I’m obsessed with it etc. okay after that I deleted it and posted better art, it was much better trust me and 0 reaction and i was like wtf
I strongly believe that we should start saying "it's ok to be ugly" instead of saying "everyone is beautiful" cuz everyone isn't physically beautiful but u shouldn't have to be treated horribly just cuz ur ugly. Being ugly and having flaws are totally ok. Flaws aren't beautiful they just imperfections and again that's ok😌
But what you're saying hasn't been true for humans since ever. It'd be nice if ugly didn't have such a terrible connotation but it's true. Regular people don't want to be friends with ugly people, they don't want to do business with them or hire them. Maybe we shouldn't focus so much on looks in general. Too many people obsessed with beautiful and ugly and to be honest I've been called both of those words many times in my life, not sure which one was true and which one wasn't, so I prefer to base my value and value of others on their actions rather than looks.
I think it wouldn't sting so much if "beautiful" wasn't associated so much with "good" and "ugly" with "bad" in the moral sense. Attractiveness is an amoral quality
@@stab2486 yh it's sad cuz I what I've noticed is that in certain countries( america) ugly ppl are treated like the plague while in my country, yh ok the person is hard to look at but dam they arent treated horribly. Their love lives might be rough but they aren't completely ignored and overlooked💀
@@divx1001 I wouldn't call this behavior a "human" thing... more like a cultural thing that can be learned based on the beauty standards in that culture🤔
but then you have to define what ugly is. and there is no definition for that. Beauty is subjective and if you really wanna tell somebody that their ugly then just tell it yourself.
Ugly wouldn’t be such a powerful word if we didn’t lie to everyone who is ugly by telling them they’re beautiful. “Ugly” could be “average”, and that’s not a bad thing. If most people are ugly and are told they are, being told you’re ugly too wont sting so bad because you’re not the only one.
@@sarah.3599 it’s not starting, but it do become a criticism somehow, even most of the people using the words “mid” are pretty “mid” themselves, they just want to feel above mid by calling people mid. I just find it very ironic and laughable.
I feel like when someone is obviously attractive people compliment them less and if you're an insecure attractive person you grow up thinking you're weird looking or there's something wrong with you. Just my own experience. I can see why this makes sense cause I've seen very average looking people being told how good looking they are and I'm confused sometimes lol
When someone is beautiful they rarely recive compliments,they get treated with preference and admiration,or jealous people envy them.Being aesthetically pleasing is the ultimate dream for everyone,because how the world treats beautiful people.
@@strangeclaims no thats not true at all, it really depends where you live. Women especially hold back from giving compliments to attractive men to stop them from getting "inflated egos", that seems very common
Man, the Internet has changed. Imagine asking if you're ugly on an anonymous online forum 10-15 years ago. It would've been rough even for someone who's average
Its Gen Z and their performative wokeness. They’re so delusional and anyone who challenges their delusion is shunned. They come up with all these new terms like “fat shaming”…like nah being fat is not something to be praised, they’re literally at higher risk of serious diseases, why are we encouraging this?!
@@girlthattalkstoomuch9425 Most people wouldn't really think the person asking is super ugly or smtn, but they would rip the shit out of them anyway. I miss the old Internet, before it became a hypersensitive shithole.
That was back when the average person didn't use the internet, and only particular types of people were on those forums. As with most things, it was ruined by too many people getting involved.
I recently see this on Twitter that in between an argument on a completely unrelated argument people would bring up the person's look to shame him or her and get some likes. I find this very disturbing how our self worth is tied up to how attractive we are so much so that even having a valid opinion will only be taken seriously on the internet if you have a good profile pic . It's ridiculous and I think that's why some people on the internet try to overcompensate to counter the negativity by leaving such comments. Ps I also noticed the victim of such shaming recently are mostly men it seems like being mean to men and shaming their looks have become a trendy for some reason
it's not just only on twitter, but this happen all the time in real life - when somebody can't make logical point they will try to bring down the other person by shaming her or him for their looks. This is how idiots behave when they run out of arguments and often these twats are not any better looking. Usually women are shamed this way in real life in my experience.
as someone who has been called ugly by basically everyone in the universe, why does ugly have to mean bad? why can’t i be ugly and still be happy? it’s so backhanded. there’s nothing wrong with being ugly, stop treating people like it is.
The answer is a small town or maybe another country, their beauty standard quite stark actually. For example, you can be an average on big city where your friend aren't jealous of you, buut.. come to asia and bamn! All girl(and men also) starts to complement you.. it's matter of perspective actually!
In all honesty, you have pretty eyes, GREAT eyebrows, a slightly wide nose, good forehead and cheeks but girl that haircut in TERRIBLE 😅 if YOU get called ugly often you must be living among supermodels, and I have no interest in just being nice.
I found out I was ugly when I posted on reddit and people told me I was attractive after browsing more, I realized everyone told the ugly people they're attractive, and told the attractive people they're average. Or they were over the top with their comments.
(Sorry for my English) Hey, I want to share my experience with a "glow up". I'm a medical student and I always tried hard to get good grades. The thing is when I was fat and didn't care much for my appearance, everyone thought that I was so intelligent and hard working, etc. But after vacation, I returned with -10 kg, I dyed my hair blonde, changed my glasses and practiced how to put on makeup. Everyone treated me differently and I became more popular. The thing is that I kept having good grades BUT now there are rumours that say that I have romances with professors or that I f*cked them to have good grades. Also there are people who think that I came to med school just to get a husband ¿?
oh man sorry for your experience. its so fucked up at so many levels. to treat people differently merely based on their appearances is just inexcusable :/
Imagine studying for years to get into med school, then studying for years while in med school to become a doctor, dedicating so much time and effort only for people to say that you are looking for ela husband. Kind of tragic honestly
That's a very interesting experience. In some sense the rumours are a compliment because it means people think you're worth gossiping about, and they show that your personal transformation was a success, even if it somehow overshadows your hard work in other areas. It also just goes to show how cheap it is for people to have an opinion, and how the value corresponds with that cheapness. The things you control, and the work you put in to improve yourself as a medical professional and as a person are much more valuable. So please, persist.
I think pretty privilege is more of liability... Like yeah it feels good but this comes with envy and sexual harrasment. Idk what's better being invisible or being attacked?
This is so true though. I notice that when a girl whose body is average/curvy/chubby/fat and has an average looking face posts something on TikTok, everyone in the comments is full of praise saying things like "omg slay," "ate and left no crumbs," "so stunning," "wow i'm in love." Meanwhile, when a skinny girl with a pretty face posts, the comments are so mean: "you know what you're doing," "i'm never eating again," "when is it my turn to be happy." And so many of them are so full of jealousy, blatantly projecting their insecurities onto the girl when she just wanted to post a video of herself like everyone else does with no intentions of showing off or making anyone jealous. I think this happens because people don't feel threatened by the former but they DO feel threatened by the latter, so they start getting defensive and try to put her down. People feel better about themselves when they compliment someone they deem to be inferior to them while putting down and insulting someone they feel is more attractive than they are.
I am UNPHOTOGENIC, but I look good in real life, my friends and family say I look good but whenever they see my photos they say why i am looking very weird there. because of this whenever someone take photos with me I try to avoid it. could you please make a video on it.
Y E S. Same here. Unless I'm taking the photo or a professional who tells me how to pose, I look so...like I don't wanna be there. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and it shows up in pictures.
Wouldn't say i'm the prettiest person irl (maybe 3.7-4), but damn do photos paint me 2 ugly sometimes. People also have said that i look much better irl.
I prefer "not sugarcoated" to "brutal" It's good that people recoil from being brutal, so it's easier to think of it as holding back the urge to cushion the criticism rather than brutally dressing down someone's appearance
To be honest though, I see hundreds of people everyday just through work, and I rarely find anyone ‘ugly’. Not my type sure, maybe not beautiful, but not ugly.
Actually it's interesting to see that people have how much low physical attractiveness standards in real life when physical attractiveness standards in the media industry are so unattainable. It looks like that people prefer being positive and complimenting when they see a person who has equal physical attracriveness level, nitpicking when they see a person who isn't looking in the same league at all. It's called human nature.
This is what happen when you're improving yourself they always tell you that you're good when you're at the bottom then when you're reach the peak they throw shits at you
@Sad officier K thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard- you can still have a low self esteem and even if you are pretty some people might put you down or make you feel worse about it, or you could just be insecure
@@bendover7841 people are allowed to have insecurities, i know pretty people who think that they aren't pretty. and what you consider pretty might not be what they consider pretty
@@emilyfsdhfbsdjkfsdf6177 The people you just mentioned know they're pretty. Beauty is mostly objective. You don't know what they think. You know what they tell you. And they tell you that to fish for compliments. This is more common in women but happens a lot with men as well. Having insecurities is different. Most people have some degree of body dysmorphia. You can wish to look better despite knowing you look good. This is most common amongst models and bodybuilders.
@@adettessubs444 you confuse being average with being beautiful but with good amount of averageness. People don’t find average People attractive. They find good looking people attractive who also share some more average features. So that basically means most women prefer a good looking actor like Henry Cavill over the slightly odd looking Supermodel Sean O pry. Both are attractive but the latter has less averageness
I have noticed that in both real life and online that the people who get the most compliments are in what I call the safe category. Like a 7/10. People who are in fact rather attractive, but not stunningly attractive. Very attractive people do get compliments, but not as many as the safe group. Very attractive people also get more jealous, negative comments. "She isn't that pretty" kind of comments. I'm talking about in day to day life, not places like the strip club where it is expected to fully objectify the performers. I'm not talking about very famous or powerful people either. I believe that this has to do with the human ego. It's easier to compliment someone that you feel equal or superior to. When your insecurities are activated a lot of people want to avoid, or degrade the source of the insecurity.
The nerd in me enjoys this, but the social person doesn't. The people who are truly ugly already know it, and won't ask about it on reddit. The only ones who will wonder are average looking people with low self esteem. And most of us actually find average looking people more attractive than real beauties since we can relate to them. So I don't think it's dishonesty as much as people genuinely finding each other approachable, and it's personality rather than looks that makes people lonely.
This is so true! The people who are considered ugly are already aware of it because of how they’re treated! But the people who have low self esteem and need reassurance are going to be the ones asking about their appearance
Very true. “Average people with low self esteem” sounds right. If you swing between thinking you’re ugly or beautiful and need outside input then you’re average or okay looking. I think people do respond well to pretty yet approachable faces- perfection is daunting and still ultimately different. Pretty features mixed with flaws appeal.
@@blythetaylor4063 never meet someone who didn't have flaws even extremely attractive people have them, just not as much as average or ugly people , also some people change there appearance expcialy women with all the makeup , makeup can definitely change someone's appearance drastically!!
I wonder if it may be harder to detect how attractive/unattractive other people find you if you're autistic, which I am. Also how generally polite or rude is the circle of people you engage with, I think that can matter a lot. I actually dont know, but think I'm somewhere in the middle. How pretty or ugly I find myself can vary from day to day
I wish someone could of told me it was okay that I was ugly when I was growing up. I would of killed to hear that instead of “oh don’t say that about yourself” or a fake ass “no!! You’re pretty!!”
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️! Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget! So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
@@Kaz-sg1ih I would have hit the gym sooner if someone told me that earlier on in life. I learned that its important to be the best version of yourself, which is different than being someone you're not.
Yes, it's dismissive and it makes the impression that being ugly is the worst thing ever, like "you can't be ugly by any means cause that would be the worst tragedy in history". I think being pretty is a great thing just like having a good singing voice or being a good dancer, writer or cook. All wonderful gifts, but you can't have them all. I mean, I love music but i sound like a frog when I sing and that's OK, is not the end of the world. Why do we make it so when is about beauty?
Your videos have me questioning so many things. I've always considered myself a solid 4 or 5 without makeup. I've never really received compliments about my looks and for years I had some BDD. In recent years I've gained weight, dress down more often than not. Its the first time in years I've gotten a few compliments. Recently a few acquaintances admitted to me that years ago, they actually found me intimidating and thought I was probably stuck up because of "how pretty I was". This genuinely shocked me because I never felt pretty and part of it was because people I saw called pretty were, no offense, not that great looking. I figured I must be hideous if even average people got compliments. Now looking back I was quite attractive and its sad I never saw it that way. Now I don't think so but I'm also more comfortable. Life is strange I guess haha.
I had a very similar life experience in my youth, although for me: the men were intimidated by me and thought I was stuck up, whereas some of the women actually thought I was homely because I didn't wear makeup. The women genuinely just didn't perceive what the men were perceiving about my facial look. I was also perplexed when so-so looking women would get heavily complimented. That's all water under the bridge though; now I'm 50 years old and just trying to hang on to my looks for as long as I can.
@@victorycall that I can somewhat understand. The few interactions with guys who did try and talk with me would tell me I was intimidating also. I always chalked things up to having a strange appearance. I never really saw girls who looked like me growing up (I have large eyes and otherwise small soft features. I used to get picked on for them so I developed a sort of resting B-face as a defense mechanism 😂) but up until maybe 7 years ago I was always very small and soft looking. It was baffling to be told I was intimidating. But more often than not I almost never got compliments or approached by either gender. I've had a few traumatic years and I've responded with "letting myself go" but I realize that's not probably the best response as I'm in my mid 30's. Definitely keep your beauty inside and out! I'm realizing I need to do the same and I'm trying to make changes. So strange though to find out people found me attractive AFTER I stopped being attractive 😕 people are interesting.
@@menak8870 I just want to give you some encouragement on "getting yourself back" (the opposite of letting yourself go). I was overweight during my late 30s and 40s and a few years ago I quit drinking alcohol and stopped eating junk, and I started eating nutrient dense food. I started exercising and now I feel better than I did when I was in my 20s. Feeling great and having the confidence that I'm going into older age in the best shape possible is the payoff; looking good is a bonus.
Toxic positivity made it so I am suspicious of compliments, and I’m a conventionally attractive person (most of the time). In high school, this girl was complimented on her blue eyeshadow. Except it was not blended very well and it was creasing; I just didn’t think it looked very good. So now when I get compliments on my curly hair when it’s a mess and I’m not sure if it’s genuine or not. The other day a random woman in the park said, “I’m not gay, but you’re beautiful.” It felt genuine, but how do I know?????
I always say if it's coming from a stranger, that owes you nothing or expects anything out of a compliment(maintained friendship, romance, etc) than it's pretty genuine.
If you’re a woman, how to easily determine whether you’re conventionally attractive or not is to hangout with some female acquaintances. If they’re petty and rude and never give you compliments or it’s like pulling teeth to get them to say something nice to you, congratulations, you’re pretty. 🙄
my classmates told me i'm disgusting and they want to puke when they look at me does that count?🤣 ok i'm just kidding, because they compared me to the other ugly girls in our class, so i understood how i looked in their eyes
Just go to a convention or somewhere with a lot of socially inept strangers. I went to one after getting my final plastic surgeries and I was validated several times. Random girls came up to me to tell me I’m pretty, guys would do very long stares, and the person checking wristbands for 18+ rooms looked really suspicious of me and held me up. I’m almost 30. Ever since then I’ve had strangers recognize me everywhere like I became famous just for being the best looking person there. Random people at my apartment pool going “hey isn’t that the girl….?” Regret because I’m borderline aspergers and don’t want to interact with anyone
I LOVE that you're calling Reddit out for their dishonesty with data. This is such an informative video. It's in the same vain of this cancerous "Body positivity" culture. People need to stop LYING about people's attractiveness especially when it comes to being overweight and unhealthy too. They're promoting unhealthy lifestyles and I see it a lot.
Exactly. You’re dead average, certainly not ugly, but not close to as hot as an above average girl on a college campus. I’m guessing the simps on the internet have convinced you yoi’re attractive since you post your face a lot? It’s just embarrassing. Did you think you weren’t talking about yourself in your comment?
I’ve noticed all my life that men and women are quicker to call a beautiful woman ugly to her face than to an actual Ugly woman..hence why men now complain that unattractive women have big egos and inflated self esteem... shocking 😒
I dunno. I see the beauty in most people. Sure, some people may not be conventionally attractive, but unless you have been severely deformed, I am probably going to see nice features. I’m tired of the beauty conversation. Everyone does have beautiful traits and ugly ones too. I don’t care who you are.
@@katherynrice1657 Beauty is subjective, and desired features always change with time. Health and wellness should be the focus over beauty any day. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Perfection is overrated anyways.
@@katherynrice1657 Well, the comments are mostly from subscribers to this channel, and this creator is obsessed with current beauty ideals. The comment section on this video do not reflect the real world, or what most people think. Beauty isn’t everything, but if someone can’t see the beauty in you, they are not worth your time.
@@katherynrice1657 something that helps me when I get too obsessed with my appearance is to think that I'm doing exactly what corporations and the patriarchy want. They want you not to love yourself and base your self worth on beauty instead of something more profound. Changing the base of your self worth is hard but worth trying
I can’t imagine asking someone, especially a stranger, if I’m ugly. It feels like fishing for compliments. If I wanted constructive criticism I would ask a professional. My last comment on my last video was “u’re not even fat. I’m 5’7” and 195 lbs. I think I’m about 2lbs away from being clinically obese. I have an underbite, my eyes are crooked, I’ve broken my nose twice, I have rosacea. On my plus side, I dress well so it makes me somewhat more attractive. My ex husband once said “you are pretty enough to have men attracted to you but not so attractive that you make women insecure”. I think that’s about right and puts me at a 3 or 4. Or at least it did when I was younger. I’m happy with how I look, I feel confident, I feel perfectly at ease with my looks. I’m all for self improvement, whatever that means to the individual. For me, it’s to continue learning, to keep my mind sharp as I age and to maintain body flexibility as much as someone with my conditions can.
Ngl...Some honestly go to these subreddits to fish for compliments. I've seen people post pics with all the desirable features just because they want someone to tell them what they already know: you are beautiful
ikr? I see it in the female hair advice reddit where a woman will post a pic to ask for "hair advice" where you can barely see her hair/it's been affected by a filter or something. Most women not just fishing for "omg ur stunning!1!!" will post clear pics of their natural hair, as well as their unfiltered face to get the best advice. I just find it sad cause I feel like it discourages less attractive women from posting cause they don't want to be compared
Accepting my baldness was a great accomplishment for me and to be honest, I didn't suffer much from the loss. Once paired with a beard, even if not very thick like mine, baldness makes a good impression, at least in my case. 😎
I've rarely been directly told that I'm attractive. I would hear it all the time when I'm passing by people, but few have actually said it to me. I went through school and college with very few female friends, they would literally not befriend me and they would also instruct their boyfriends not to talk to me. I never thought that I was attractive at all but looking back I must have been pretty damn hot lol. What I noticed on social media is when I changed my profile picture (was a cat picture) to a picture of my actual face I got tons of new followers. So in conclusion, if you've never been told that you're ugly but also never received compliments, chances are that you look good!
I also experienced that and tbh most of my boyfriend's friends dont even make eye contact with me or talk to me if I don't talk.. i also don't have many female friends and theg always say yes we will go out someday and never go out with me. Men don't approach me at all my boyfriend was the first guy who approached me irl this is quite funny actually
I think Reddit or any such forums hardly helps in these types of questions. These sites are more effective in discussing facts, experiences, etc. Advises are so bad, vague and generic all over the internet that I sympathize with people who really looked forward for some good comments.
I saw this so much growing up amongst girls and it damaged the unattractive girls confidence long term cause they weren’t getting the recognition they were told they would receive
I grew up very overweight as a kid and my peers made me know that. It was really mentally draining to be bullied for my looks and then have my friends and family tell me I was fine and that people are just jealous instead of helping me when I wanted to lose weight.
Also one thing I observed that not-so attractive people are the mostly ones who do these types of comments. And maybe there is an element of indirectly validating themselves, if someone other upvotes it.
I hate when people lie about your looks. They don’t do it to make you feel better. They do it, because their own integrity is weak. It’s cowardly. You can be honest without being hateful. People need to learn to handle the truth, both telling it and receiving it.
If I could offer some perspective… There’s a whole movement of people shaming attractive people for not overly complimenting average or unattractive people enough! Attractive people are literally told to “pay it forward” and that they owe something to people who are less attractive than they are.
Trust me, I was attractive in ages 18-25, it doesn't save you from problems. NOBODY tells you you're attractive because people think you hear it day-in-day-out. In reality, besides my immediate family, I was told I was pretty only a handful of times. I would see ugly girls update their fb profile pucs and all their friends comment "oh, wow, you look amazing!" and nobody would comment anything on mine. Being pretty doesn't equate being popular and having uplifting friends is the result of popularity. On top of that, even if I were studying in a uni full of men (engineering) - and you'd think I'd be asked out left and right - guys wouldn't even talk to me because they were intimidated. They were all embarassed and thought I was unlikely to notice them so they would have their Egos protect them and not approach me with the argument "if she likes me, she will approach me on her own". That makes *some* sense, but only in case of popular girls, and I wasn't that. I was also very shy. Moreover, I had professors think I was taking advantage of my attractiveness to have boys help me with uni or even to cheat with their help in exams. Finally, the worst problems came from my immediate family, as I have a fat sister who was jealous of my looks and would put me down on the regular and my rest family just allowing it, making me even more shy due to the social anxiety the shame of having such a family caused me.
Yes, being good looking and shy/introverted/ have social anxiety is not really a good mix. people assume that you are stuck up OR like you said boys don’t approach you bc they think you are uninterested.
Well. Seems like you have shitty personality....maybe thats why no one ever approach...iyou are so self aware that you are pretty 🥰.and those Facebook girls are ugly too you...maybe they are preetier than you in other aspects
As a guy I can confirm that talking with very pretty girls is scary, unconsciously I feel like I'm grossing them out or wasting their time, I actively avoid them to not feel uncomfortable
That's basically all true. However, even though I wasn't considered gorgeous in school, my fat sister definitely had a better strategy than yours. She reminded me of her bountiful bra size frequently. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages.
Also, pretty people who are often low trust get shit on a lot online. Madison beer is a good example of someone who often gets rude comments by jealous (mostly) women.
@@lilypond5158 I think they mean face shape. Like sometimes you can see a person and think "this person looks trustworthy" or "this person looks shady". There was a vid about it on this channel too. Deep set small eyes with little of the whites showing is one of the traits that make me trust people less.
Thing i've noticed is this phenomenon is mostly caused by women and especially by women towards fat women and fat models especially, it's like actually beautiful people or skinny models in this subcontext offend the audience and makes the audience insecure and nitpicky while seeing an ugly person the audience feels a sense of security and safety and pities them in a way.Girls especially looking at conventional skinny models feel insecure about themselves and their bodies while fat models make them feel better about their body and makes them feel more safe while mostly men are not really that prone to this phenomenon. While beauty standards for men are definitely unrealistic as well, men don't usually have this jealousy and insecurity response to it but the most common response is one of admiration and hype in a way to achieve the body that is being shown to them,that's why the fat acceptance movement is literally non existant in men and is a phenomenon observed only with female models and female audiences. But generally i'd say the fat acceptance movement is a really good example of the phenomenon of toxic positivity
I consider myself to be conventionally attractive but I have consistently put in work and effort to get here. I hear so much toxic positivity whenever I’m discussing improving my looks even now. For instance, I said to a friend the other day my next goal is to lose about 2kg and tone up my stomach. She just rolled her eyes and said I didn’t need that and that I’m beautiful. I don’t understand this kind of response, why is it such a bad thing to want to improve your looks?
@@canesugar911 but either way self improvement isn’t something that should get trashed on whether or not the person is already conventionally attractive.
@@lynooxx her friends are not trashing her for simply stating that she is conventionally attractive. Which she is. As she stated herself. The funny thing is if the friend had mentioned to her to lose 2kg(5pounds, which most people can't even tell) then she'd make a fuss about her friend shaming her.
@@canesugar911 how do you know what I would make a fuss about? My only point was that it seems as if wanting to improve your looks is not met with support regardless of whether or not you’re attractive.
@@user-xb5rl6wt5j from your accusatory tone. That's where. You cannot put yourself in the same category as people who aren't attractive because the whole toxic positivity thing is mainly targeted towards unattractive people. Sooo your point is............
*Beauty wouldn’t be so controversial if it wasn’t seen as currency & a metric for a woman’s value. The main issue is that ppl get mad at you for being attractive but, they’re more mad about society’s rules.*
I am SO thrilled that you tackled this subreddit. I'm on reddit a lot. I mod a few subs too. I am rather cool headed and unemotional. But I LOVE helping people. I was BANNED from that sub for the most innocuous little comments to help people look their best. I was severely bullied as a kid and am quite senstive to being tactful when giving criticism. The mods there really DON'T want users to give helpful criticism. You make me feel better about being banned just for being honest and trying to improve people. LOVE YOUR CHANNEL!
I did notice the most guys who post their pictures on those reddits get a lot less feedback and comments compared to most woman. Also that the more attractive a person is on there the more comments they get.
My mom used to tell me every time that i would whine when she would do my hair and itd hurt that "beauty is pain and hard work" while i think she couldve been gentler with my hair her words held truth, why cant people just accept that some people want to better their appearance? What if someone just doesnt shower at all and their hair is matted and oily, had yellowed teth from not brushing it etc would people still say "youre perfect just the way you are"? This mindset people have is just wrong
It's really irresponsable to lie or overhype someone about heir appearance because it might get them wrong ideas about what to expect from life. My Family constantly reminded me how "pretty" i was growing UP (i was just average cute) which led me to dellusion as a teen and then Huge downfall as an adult. That's a Real shame because without this i could have focused more on working hard and building a nice personnality.
I’m sorry that you went through that. Sometimes I think that exaggerating a child’s greatness is just as harmful to the child as constantly and unjustly putting down the kid. The child ends up acting entitled and conceited, and they’re left bitterly disappointed when the real world tells them the truth. I’ve seen people take a mighty big fall when the real world reminds them that they’re not “special” and they’re like 99% of the people in this world - “regular”.
I've been in some of these subs and I've seen overly harsh people calling average looking people ugly and suggesting unnecessary plastic surgery so there's also a lot of projection of insecurity in these subs and it isn't professional at all....
last time when i was on r/amiugly i saw a 4/10 get called beautiful too often i never went on reddit again, these ppl are full of shit or straight up just have no standards or see the sub as a smash or pass game, in which case we know redditors would smash anything on 2 legs. im not exaggerating, many replies oozed horniness instead of honest critique of the persons looks
wow great video, I really loved the new font and the integration of code and data analysis. Maybe this is somewhere you could take your channel in the future?
I was a very pretty child, then in high school I realized I had become average looking. People would see pictures of me in childhood and ask if it was really me. Got called ugly to my face once by bullies. It affected me a lot, but now I just accept my average looks lol
Toxic positivity comepletely changed my life. As an obese teen looking for help, I would always be coddled and told "everyone has their own healthy weight" etc. It truly made me sick, and I decided to turn my life around through strict diet & exercise. Fortunately I became quite handsome after the weight loss, i'm grateful for them spurring me into action.
i dont remember if it was this channel or some other but here on youtube under a comment section, people were discussing attrativeness and i had pointed out (it was related to the video content) that if someone were to ask me if i found them attractive and i didnt, i would merely say they're not my type, however if there is, so and so about them is conventionally attractive or objectively speaking, so and so suits them. a ton of people agreed with this approach and it has been well received in real life too based on my experiences. people were open to discussion and acknowledged the honesty. however this one person comes up and comments that they would rather lie that they find them attractive than 'hurt' someone. they argued for a good while and even if others and i put up points like not everyone has to be attractive and your type but they were adamant on lying and not hurting feelings. I would feel terrible if someone were to lie to me about finding me attractive because no, i dont need your pity. a person's worth is not just their physical appearance even though it plays a part in it.
I believe conventionally unattractive people are praised because not many people see themselves as attractive and by praising the unattractive, then they don't have to do any work and so if they don't improve, it decreases competition. Imagine if every obese woman lost weight, the amount of beautiful women in the world would double and average women who were not overweight would have more competition. So praising ugly people is a way of weeding out the competition.
I don't think it's mean sprited; I think they just feel pity. They know they perceive the person as unattractive and they feel bad that they thought that. So, they virtue signal and give a compliment to make themselves feel better, to get rid of that uncomfortable feeling. Little do they know that it's incredibly unkind, infantlising and condensing. Above all, it's selfish.
I have always theorized this for years but like the comment-er above me I also agree it’s 90% NOT mean spirited. I believe this is all done subconsciously so yes while on the surface they may tell themselves they’re being fake nice because of pity but like I said before it also eliminates competition.
I think you're missing the fact that the sample of people who comment are skewed. If someone sees a person on r/amiugly who they believe is genuinely ugly, I would guess that the average person would be pretty unlikely to comment that because it is considered rude. Meanwhile, if the person see someone who they think is attractive but is on the sub and may even be saying that people have told them they're ugly, the person would be more likely to comment. Second, you said that you only looked at the top posts, also excluding ones with less than 50 comments. As far as I'm concerned, this just excluded many of the most conventionally unattractive people immediately. If they're a top post, they're likely to be that because they are pretty/handsome. And, if you frequent that subreddit you would know that any post with 50+ comments is primarily people who are attractive. So many posts get way less than that, maybe because of the first reason I brought up. Third, the people scrolling on that subreddit are not representative of the population at all. It's probably pretty obvious that that subreddit would draw in people who are insecure about their looks and may even have body dysmorphia. In that case, these people are likely to see almost everyone as looking better than them and no one there as ugly. There's at least a few posts everyday where someone just says that everyone on the subreddit is not ugly. Overall, I just don't think the variables were controlled enough (especially since the sample was not a representative one of the population), for any real meaning to be taken from your research.
Not every person is beautiful, but i find beauty in every person. Then i mean beauty in appearance, because i think some people reading this will misunderstand this for inner-beauty.
Yes it's difficult to know what to improve when everyone tells you there's nothing wrong. Like when I was fat. "Oh your not that fat", "you're only a little overweight". Lies I was morbidity obese. Fake nice could of put me in an early grave. I'll add it took a foreign co-worker to be honest. They told me you would be beautiful if you lost weight. You too fat.
@@potatowarrior747 oh I am well aware. When I was just talking about how I lost weight and how my health improved. Someone got angry at me. Yeah I should of just stayed fat with hypertension. I knew were my life was headed. Fat activist are going to kill people.
I think this way of myself too but when I tell my friends or family about it they say stuff like “I don’t know why you think that way you’re the standard” and then there’s my mom who straight up gets mad and says it’s because its because of that damn phone
When i was chubby nobody fat shamed/called me fat. But when i was skinny many ppl skinny shamed/called me skinny. Although being skinny is not considered attractive for a guy but i think most ppl would rather be skinny than fat.
Being skinny for a guy is definitely more attractive then being overweight. Sure muscular is ideal but a handsome man with a skinny body or muscular one is the ideal. An overweight man is never handsome as fat makes the face more neotonous. So his attractiveness is hidden in a way. I'm a gay dude so that is my perspectiveabout it. Women don't want a fat man either, they just are not vocal about it as many women struggle with their own weight and don't wanna be seen as hypoctited.
What this video is telling me is “people are now aware that I have to work hard for my looks and that I don’t have much to offer outside of it other than a shitty personality, if people realize that they’ll start treating me poorly and I’m not used to that because I’m pretty and have historically gotten all the compliments and praise.” I think it’s because people are finally being told to be attracted to what is attractive you more so than what Hollywood or society is telling you what beauty is. Personally speaking I’m all for it. I’ve never agreed with who is declared pretty and who isn’t I’m often on the opposite side of the fence and I think a lot of people were in a similar position, but never got to voice it like they can now. Like as an example let’s take it back to school. I had a crush on this kind of chubby tomboy girl named Cici back in school right, most people didn’t find her attractive, but I thought she was an absolute banger! However, I knew most people didn’t find her attractive so I had to pretend to not find her attractive lest I fall into scrutiny, but my true opinion never changed. I also think if you’re conventionally attractive and are actively looking for advice in a sub-Reddit meant for people ACTUALLY struggling with body/facial issues you deserve to be nitpicked
Just came back from the Discord. I wish I was shocked, but unsurprisingly it is filled with Neo-nazis, Aryan superiorists and 6/10 white boys calling themselves “Chads” it’s basically an escaped 4-Chan forum, don’t go.
I think toxic positivity would be better viewed of " we're all different with different attributes and you need to accept yourself and your flaws." Ithink this is a better view. There will always be people more stunning in the looks department but we know this and need to accept that we will not meet those standards. We still are worthy.
In my own experience, attractiveness came much more from where I stand mentally and emotionally with myself. There are some days where I look very beautiful to myself, but get ignored and feel invisible. And there’s some days where I’m dressed like a scraggly little toad, but feel so spunky and full of life that people respond excellently to me. I’m someone who was always overweight and told how ugly I was growing up, and now looking back, I wasn’t ugly. The way I saw myself, presented myself with the way I held myself, dressed, and the cutting words I used for myself AND others (knocking them down because I felt so low) THAT is what made me ugly. And what continues to whenever I come back to these headspaces. Same with my dating history, peoples faces change so much to me. My best relationship ever, I thought he was ugly and looked like a bulldog. But he owned his face with confidence and treated me like gold(still does 2 years after we broke up) and has these things about him that make him so dang cute(: I think beauty is so elusive, even this beautiful boy with high cheekbones, sharp jaw, beautiful eyes, etc.. who I was smitten with at first, got real ugly real fast by his lackluster personality and fuckboyish way of treating me. Also noticing over the years which of my friends have a trending attire, how they get attention from certain personality types who care a lot about appearances, where I’ve never really been looked at by these kinds of people. Maybe. Because there’s also the aspect that I fully believe, young attractive people don’t find me attractive, so I don’t even look at them because my subconscious has already locked them out of my scope. I guess what I’m saying, is there’s so many slight nuances in all of this that can really affect the way we see ourselves, and how that effects others’ views of us too. And I’m certain that I missed a ton, add to this, these are just some things I’ve noticed in my own experience
I'm considered attractive as a woman with caucasian-esque features in South Asia. Green eyes and all. In primarily white countries, I would look painfully average of course. But there's a hostility of other women here towards me that has made me stop attending parties. The "compliments" I receive upon first entering parties and family functions are "you can easily pass for a white woman" which, unfortunately is considered the epitome of beauty. The girls my age don't like this attention so they counterattack with "they're obviously blind. You look like a light-skinned brown girl trying too hard to appear as a white girl" and "you look like you're a wannabe aishwarya rai. Trying too hard" and "you look like you're a wannabe Russian girl". I don't like these backhanded "compliments" and it's turned me into a hardcore introvert. I know I can't complain because girls with darker complexions have HELL to face here and my situation is a non issue in front of what they have to endure... But I still...idk Edit: messed up a few words lol
@@zunaslogic4128 Do you live India. Then you're like 0.1%. If Pakistan then maybe be 1.25%. I bet you look sooo pretty. You should do something great with your looks. 🥰
I posted on r/amiugly once, and i got very little likes and comments, and the comments i did get were very generic, i thought it was a bad thing but i figured out it was because of what you said in your video, now i KNOW ot was because of it 😭 feeling smart
I think you have to keep in mind that most people that post pictures of themselves on these subs are at such a dark place in their life and are desperate for validation that it would be very dangerous to be 100% honest. I also highly doubt that most people feel better about their looks after getting positive feedback because to even post there you have to be extremely unhappy with your appearance. That’s not going to change because of some positive comments. These people aren’t ready for brutal honesty. I think what’s even worse than toxic positivity is thinking that you are doing someone a favor by always being brutally honest. Some people simply aren’t ready for that and they would feel even worse after that.
I’m in those subs and I get so tempted to comment “do you want hardmaxxing or softmaxxing advice?” But everyone is soooo sensitive and it isn’t worth being attacked over when you’re genuinely trying to help vs stroking an ego
I liked the video, & think that it was cool that Qoves used machine learning to more objectively criticize these Reddit pages. That being said, I hope he doesn’t fall down a rabbit hole of trying to respond to all the people who criticize what he does. It’s just sort of a trend I’ve noticed w/ a lot of his recent videos, & I hope he stays on-track 👍🏻
The crazy thing is there are subreddits with actually more honest feedback, like r/amiuglybrutallyhonest, where people who don’t want toxic positivity go. And a while back it was overtaken by a few reaction RU-vidrs who criticized it for being too negative and degrading people’s looks. They pointed out a few posts of very average looking posters and said the typical “omg but they’re so gorgeous and people are rating them 5??” Then they had their viewers flood out the subreddit. They went on literally every post commenting “everyone is beautiful :))) 10/10” and downvoting every rating below 7/10. Which is to say they literally took it into their own hands to spread toxic positivity. They think that people specifically going to the brutally honest subreddit want to hear pretty lies about how everyone is equally beautiful, and they feel morally superior to the folks suggesting orthodontic treatment to the posters with orthodontic development so deviant it clearly affects their everyday lives. Apparently recessed chins are “cute” and underbites show “character”. They don’t pay any attention to actually helping the people affected by their looks, they just want to make themselves feel good.
bro great software job i love watching these videos, as much as they sometimes fk with my world view, but it's very solid work which is rarely found on youtube, let alone in the fashion industry.
I feel like "beautiful" used to be more of a single quality in many that someone could have. Maybe because it used to be that you only saw the real people in your life, and weren’t bombarded constantly by images of the most beautiful 1% of people photoshopped and enhanced to be even more perfect. Now EVERYONE has to be beautiful and that’s just never going to be the case, like any other single trait out of thousands
It actually kind of sounds like toxic positivity helps good looking people because they get constructive criticism to fine tune their beauty to new heights 😆
It honestly annoys me soo much when most people use Toxic Postivity to undermine looks, pretty privilege and ect because they genuinely believe that they're helping others to not feel insecure but they barely acknowledge that attractiveness affects the way society treats people. When pretty people say "Looks don't matter/Everyone is beautiful," to unattractive people its basically the equivalent of when white people say "they don't see colour," to POC. There's a difference when attractive people get bullied on social Media vs unattractive people. Others are jealous of pretty people and unattractive people just receive unsolicited blunt comments. Pretty people, the ones aren't self aware, actively deny Pretty privilege based on their cyber bullying experience and don't look at the bigger picture. Some people who preach the statement "Everyone's beautiful" are hypocrites. E.g I knew a girl from my school, who was conventionally attractive, used to say when someone was insecure of themselves, "Don't say that! You're beautiful," but one time, when there was a conflict in class, she called an unattractive girl, 'ugly' and 'fat', behind that girl's back. Btw I have a few more personal examples. If people really don't want young people to feel insecure, maybe society shouldn't put a lot of value in looks and focus on other things in life but that is definitely easier said than done, especially with Social Media. More people are leaning towards Body Neutrality because they're tired of being lied to and Body Postivity discourages people from improving on physical health. Before anyone comes at me, I'm not an attractive person and my experience is similar to many people in the comment section. Also Toxic Postivity undermines other situations like any systematic oppression, financial stress, mental health and ect.
Omg makes sense. I've been having a glow up and only two people have complimented me I've been surprised with the changes in my face which is how I even found this channel. So eye oppening
I actually believe that beautiful is subjective I think "imperfections" like acne or arched big noses are beautiful It adds diversity to our lives I don't think the world would be pleasant to live in if everyone matched the plastic beauty standards and all looked the same Plus I'm a portrait artist and I truly enjoy looking at people's faces and all of the different "unattractive" features they have And I enjoy drawing them even more
Gosh I hate the word "ugly" what exactly is ugly? Just because someone doesn't fit the conventional beauty standard doesn't make them unattractive at all because beauty is subjective I know some people will not agree with this...
i've seen many people go on about pretty privilege than say beauty is subjective which never makes sense. If beauty is fully subjective, pretty privilege wouldn't exsist.
I posted to one of these one time. Different hair styles and colors, I said I was thinking about a nose job. As I recall there was a range of ratings from like 4 to 7 or 8. A lot of people solely focused on the one picture with short hair or the fact that I wasn't smiling and said I don't need surgery. (Which, ok I know I don't "need" it, but it's a noticeable feature.) Or someone said "cute, but not my type" which is the "it's not you, it's me" way of calling someone unattractive. You're also right about attractive people getting the most comments. It's like when an ugly person posts nobody wants to be the one to comment and say that.
