This week, Jules, Ivy and Lorna talk about how they make meaningful connections with people in their 30s, why it's a bit more difficult to make those connections now, and how they navigate this path.
Am with Lornzie 100%, i can make professional connections without necessarily building to friendships but yet stay open to it if it's meant to be... rather than overloading my emotional capacity.
When Ivy is moderating it really gets that Money Monday vibe. More interviewish less chitchat-ish, really focused conversation and everyone gets a chance to share their side of it
I like how Jules is in touch with her spiritual self '"I don't think that God can give you a desire for something and not give you the resources to do it".
Adulting is hard guys. Lately most of my friends have become 'people I know' I realized I have been watering dead plants. Always the one checking up and when I don't they don't.😒 So road to meaningful connections. 💁♀️
Being an introvert is such a struggle.....I always strive to meet new people but I also cant stand small talk.....but as Lorna said alcohol sometimes helps and having extroverted friends has proven to be quite crucial.....its always nice to see a fellow introvert share their life experience
I am those people who don't have friends. I am an introvert and my social battery is kidogo... I feel more energized being alone working than hanging out with people.
I realized especially when you need to meet people especially people you want to learn from, you can provide a venue for them to meet and do some fun activities, be the provider because they are so used to giving either resources or advice or just anything, be the giver they will naturally gravitate towards you and ask questions and you'll have changed the game instead of you going to them they'll come to you and they'll remember you.
My current struggle tbh. Recently turned 27 and realized I barely have any networks. When ivy keeps saying that your network is your net worth on #moneymondays,it triggers me...I feel poor. I've been so snobbish of people who reach out to me, maybe coz I fear being vulnerable. But I'm actively learning to be better.
I'm learning to have zero expectations not necessarily in trying to make new friends or relationships but also in life. It not only reduces the chances of you being hurt but also it increases the chances of you being open to what the universe has to offer. Absolutely loved the episode 💯💯💯🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
@@chelseakoveti5674 not really .... It's just from my personal experiences and some self help books like the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz . It changed how I looked at relationships. I'll look into Wayne Dyer though 😃💯💯
Ivy seems different today. A good different. It seems like she is baring her soul and opening up more. Learning and unlearning is definitely something I'm constantly working on as well.
Really enjoyed todays conversation - Ivy is a fantastic hostess and it was lovely to have her back on the show. This conversation is really important especially in this post (?) covid space - finding your tribe and nurturing those relationships. its a daily struggle for me but I do have some takeaway lessons from the episode. It's so lovely to see Lorna blossom; I loved seeing her contribute more to todays conversation and as a fellow introvert, I identified so much with what she had to say but would encourage her to take on the counsel from Ivy to just try and get out of the shell. It's so difficult for us introverts though 😭😭😭. Jules as usual is a whole vibe on her own - she should have her own talk show. Jules is easily Kenya's Oprah. She is hilarious, relatable, wise, practical, easy to listen to .. I love her!
I just can’t explain how much i learn from you guys I am turning 23 in a month,and I always feel blessed to have known your channel,a was taking notes 📝 the whole time😂,can’t wait for next Monday ❤️❤️❤️
This year i have really learnt a lot about friendships.. its good to know where your 'friends' have kept you (lack of a better word) because you may be there for them all through and one day you realize you didn't mean all that to them,,, my painful lesson this year , am now making meaningful friendships and its beautiful because most of them we are like-minded.
I read this somewhere and it has been my mantra for this topic of friendship "I place my friends in three mental categories; (1) Best Friends (2) Good Friends (3) Acquaintances. It's important that I understand where they stand in my life because unmet expectations breed frustration. Some of you are expecting your number 3's to ack like 1's"
This combination of ladies with great personalities, beautiful, very informative is just what I need. I feel like you are my friends. Great work ladies...
What a coincidence? Yesterday i was thinking how hard it is to make friends, i have serious trust issues, i question peoples intentions, been done bad in the past. I really long for people whom we can have great conversations and not just gossip
Having a Friend who understands you and pushes you to be better other than seeing you as toxic is the best thing 💯, communication solves alot too. Powerful chat 🙌
Thanks Jules for that point on alignment. Some habits and traits about us cannot be permanently fixed. We'll be triggered and resort to our comfortable defense mechanisms. It's normal. What's important is recognizing when you retreat to old ways and getting comfortable with apologizing to people and promising yourself you will try to handle similar situations much better in the future
I’m a lot like Julia. If you come at me the wrong way, even if I’m wrong, it shall not go very well. And my family keeps scolding me about it. They say I take things to personally and I’m burning a lot of bridges because of it. But I just feel that your tone and how to communicate to me and your energy is a BIG deal and if it’s not right, I’d rather not pretend to be okay and yet I’m not.
I totally agree with Lornzie, honestly my current friendships are like cactus. I barely communicate or meet up that much because adulting is the hood of the hoodest.
Watched this just when yesterday I spent a whole afternoon conversing about how loyalty doesn't even exist in most friendships... people stick with other's for selfish gain....and some friends honestly are a whole emotional baggage
So refreshing!❤️ And to Jules yes please think about the art growth lessons,painting etc..😊 People like I ,would love that kind of community connection.
Jules has just spoken exactly what I have been fighting within myself since USIU...am I a musician or a corporate person. It was really antagonising. I believe that people shouldn't give up but, just grow up. Every experience is part of maturing us.
Love this topic. There is a podcast I listened to which said that if the intention is not clear it becomes manipulation.. so set the intention for the connection clear
Watched this video just when I've intentionally purposed to review my friends/social life and I got so shocked that I actually don't have friends, over the years a lot of people I called friends really hurt me and messed me up and it has really taken some time for me to want to have friends, but again I'm human and I've been feeling particularly lonely lately but I can't seem to bring myself to find friends or just people to talk to but with all this knowledge I've gathered today I feel I'm definitely at a better place to get new and meaningful connections, thanks girls for this talk, really helped.
As an introvert, this episode was A LOT…. I wish it was easy to just flow! Aki people can be draining… how do you start a conversation? How do you walk away from one?! Small talks ah ah
Nice episode!!, being an introvert, i really get drained by small talk.....i would rather just sit and listen than talk... i thrive best in my own little world than in groups and i love it that way
Loved the conversation!! Am like Lornzie introvert wise! I struggle to make small talk😅 Also i thinknthe growth is because you have now become consistent with posting and we are here for it!!!
Haiya I totally related with Lorna in this episode. I fucking hate small talk😂 As an introvert it's really hard to make new connections/friends😅 I'd rather stick to my ride or dies🥂
This is a great topic. Thank you for all the highlights and all the tips you provided. Being intentional and seeing how people are healing their traumas is my big guide when searching for a friend. When making meaningful connections, I attend events and collaborate a lot. A meaningful connection should always be beneficial, targeted and highly intentional. I am an introvert but when it comes to a business I create an agenda in my mind, or I just talk on what I know. Virtual coffee, virtual lunch or a virtual hangout is what I do mostly. I meet people in conferences, virtual conferences, the common activity groups, and through people I have done business with and I liked the experience.
I have made peace with the fact that am not a good friend and I can be selfish. I am working on correcting that side of me and becoming a better human.
Hi. long time follower first time commenter. Can I just say how much I appreciate the candidness with you lot. Amazing how this talk corresponds with what am going through at the moment, Iove it.
Lorna is so me…I also feel like I have everything on my phone 😂 ..very intentional about the connections I try to make as an adult and small talk is just something I can’t keep up with.
This is one of my favourite episodes this year, I feel like I'm at counseling guys. I'm very good at making friends and meaningful connections, BUT HORRIBLE at maintaining them, especially when going through a tough time, The last 2 years have been horrible for me and I completely shut off friends that I have known over 11 years, I didn't trust anyone apart from my sisters and a cousin . I really need help with maintaining relationships. Thank you guys for this topic
Aaah completely relate with your comment especially on the last two years bit and shutting off friends completely. Mine is worse coz even family is not spared especially when on a downhill. I try but just cannot let people in when spiraling.
My two best friends are like Ivy, Shikie and Jules and I’m the lornzie. It’s so damn hard to maintain my own friendships later on make new ones but I realized that in every environment I’ve been in for some time I always make 1 or 2 meaningful connections although some times they’re not so watered all the time.
I love Jules 💜. I relate with her on so many levels like when she starts quoting the likes of Abraham Hicks, Eckhart Tolle, and other spiritual gurus. Also when she said I'd rather have a best friend than a boyfriend..💯. I look forward to making a real life connection with you Jules 😁
I'm with Lornzie on these introverted struggles. A glass of wine or fabulous cocktail, really helps me loosen up to interact more with strangers and stop overthinking the situation 💯😂
First of all Ivy your outfit is fire...making friendships when you're are an adult is hard because you already know what you like and you're not ready to compromise
I am so Lornzie at this stage of my life! From 2014 every year my resolution was no new friends and I think this will continue for sometime. Relocating twice the past 3 years has moved me to make friends but I’ve made very few but meaningful connections. I also hear Ivy because when I moved her approach now is what I used to make friends and then filtered them down.
Sad to say that I'm in a point in my life where I actually don't have any close friends and this has been bothering me a lot lately. Part of the reason why is because I lived outside my country for a long time and ever since I came back (about 7 years ago) I've not been able to make or maintain any meaningful friendships/connections. I'm literally on the verge of giving up trying to make friends and just accept that I may be alone for a while longer.
Just like when you are building your business, even in rships its good to decided whether you are going vertical or horizontal. I strongly agree with Lorna..vertical rships as an adult are very important.
For me, networking is tough for me cause I feel like people think I am forcing myself on them when I have always PRIDED (hahaha) myself in wanting people not to think I want them like that. Same with ordinary friendships. I'll take a number in a party and never follow up cause I'll assume they'll think I want them too bad. Crazy
I learnt to like not be soo quick to label just any one a friend........now i am learning not to over share my things , and just because someone invites you oftenbyobtheir place, that foes not mean they are your friend, friendship has to be earned and reciprocated, otherwise you will be in the friendship alone.
Let me just say God bless y'all for starting this channel.I relate with Ivy here..a friend once told me of a negative character of mine,i kinda ignored until my recent boyfriend pointed out the same.Let me just say..its then i knew I can also have negative toxic traits.😩😩 I've since changed that habit and i'm still becoming better. P.S We are still besties with the friend ,and i'm still with the said boyfriend. We usually joke with the friend and say growth is a beautiful thing. Man was i in the gutters🤣🤣
Much needed, I really needed. I have learnt that I have to be intentional about making meaningful connections with like-minded people, also, I can have a tight circle of friends and still be intentional about seeking other like minded people.
waaah...mimi i'm just straight up lazy at making new connections, and maintaining relationships. i know it's something i need to work on, but waaah...it would require me to gather all my body cells, and maybe borrow some more, to do this
Yup I currently don't have friends it's difficult when you are married with children 🤷🏿 sad but it is what it is I promise you Lorna is my sister in spirit every time I watch I identify with her
Due to my previous friendships which lacked honestly, fake it really affected me so am very careful to get a friend and slow to trust and now people think I don't want to socialize or am proud but it's not that, am studying.
You guys are top tier in helping the yout and everyone in between. Thank you so much for staying true to who you are and I love you guys’s friendship. The best Kenyan influencers in town aki.
Make self awareness a practice.I learnt that self awareness is being honest about your good and bad traits .Know them and accept them.Being self aware makes it easier for you to make honest connections because you get to understand what actually nurtures you as a person i.e what connections are good for you and those that are not.
Waah Lorna I can relate , small talk doesn't work for me, and I don't really think I need new friends , keeping in mind maintaining the ones i have it's a struggle
I am loving this topic. I am also too lazy make meet new people 😂😂😂🙈 I am just maintaining the ones I have while letting go of those that emotionally drain me🙈
I agree with Lorna on reciprocity in connections. I have also come to learn that not all relationships are equal especially when you for example, want to learn from an older or experienced person. With those ones, reciprocity should not be expected.
