Does Buddhism support romantic love?

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Thich Nhat Hanh answers questions during a retreat in Plum Village (May, 2014).
Question: If Buddhism supports love for Mother Nature why doesn't it also support romantic love between two people and demonstrations of affection between two people?
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15 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 2,2 тыс.

@el_eye_jah 5 лет назад

Most relationships are started out of a sense of lack nowadays. Be your own partner and your reflection will find you.

@AlaKareem 5 лет назад

Very deep

@jimmyfreeman5714 5 лет назад

I like that.

@dadaTunes 5 лет назад

Love this

@joelalvarez8267 5 лет назад

My reflection is sexy so I’m lucky ☺️

@thenoshadeinitiative8227 5 лет назад

Indeed ❤️

@whocares6218 5 лет назад

True love is not addressed to a specific person. It’s just a state of being.

@onlymelodic109 5 лет назад

True, like the scent of a flower, which is not directed specifically..

@dino886boy 5 лет назад

BY OSHO

@cretaceostrapulazza5918 5 лет назад

but i guess u arent living alone on the top of a mountain, are you?

@keepingitsimple88 4 года назад

Facts.

@Simon.Bilina 4 года назад

@@walsjell compassion includes the point about sharing the problems youre having with your partner,,, . S

@EleaPhi 9 лет назад

I'm not sure how to submit captions, but here is my transcription of Thay's answer, beginning at about 1:50: The Buddha is a teacher of love, true love. Love for mother earth should be true love. And if it is true love, it can bring a lot of happiness to you and to mother earth. And romantic love, if it is true love, it can also bring a lot of happiness. But if it is not true love, it will make you suffer, and make the other suffer as well. And in the teaching of the Buddha, true love needs four elements. First of all, maitri, loving kindness, that is the capacity to offer happiness. If you cannot offer happiness, that’s not true love. In romantic love, if you are not able to help the other person [be] happy, that’s not true love. So you should train yourself in order to be able to offer happiness to you and to him or to her. Without that, both will suffer. The second element of true love is compassion. Compassion is the kind of energy that can help remove suffering. It can help transform the suffering in you and in the other person. If you cannot transform and take care of the suffering in you and in [the] other person, that is not true love. That is why karuna, the second element of true love, should be cultivated by you and by the other person. Romantic and not romantic, that’s not important. The important [thing] is it is true love or not true love. Right? And the third element of true love is joy. If by loving you make the other person cry all the time, and you cry all the time, that’s not true love, romantic or not romantic. True love is inclusiveness; that you do not exclude. His suffering is your suffering, his happiness is your happiness. There’s no individual suffering and happiness any more. In true love, there is the element of inclusiveness, non-discrimination, there’s no separation, there’s no frontier, between you and the other person. In that spirit, you cannot say “That’s your problem.” No. Your problem is my problem. My suffering is your suffering. So this is true love, the forth element of true love. And if romantic love has these four elements, it can bring a lot of happiness also. And the Buddha never said negative things about true love. And romantic love, if you are successful, you will cultivate a lot of loving kindness and compassion, and very soon, your love will be all-embracing. The other person is no longer the only object of your love, because your love continue[s] to grow and your love will embrace all of us. And happiness become[s] limitless. And that is the love of the Buddha. That is the meaning of the forth element of true love, inclusiveness. If it is true love, then it will continue to grow, and include more and more and more, not only humans, but also animals, vegetables, and minerals, and that is great love, maha-karuna, maha-maitri. And that is the love of the Buddha.

@b3thlynn 9 лет назад

thank you

@Moon_samurai128 9 лет назад

His words are so beautifully spoken. Thanks for captioning

@Runescape2398 9 лет назад

EleaPhi thanks!

@maurizioviggiani8986 9 лет назад

+EleaPhi Thanks!!

@stilianifakidaraki3724 8 лет назад

+EleaPhi Thank You!

@shoonyah 4 года назад

Thich Nhat Hanh's mantras for true love for all of us to practice and share ... 1. “Darling, I am here for you.” _ Maha Maitreyi ( Highest level of Friendship) 2. “I know you are there, and I am very happy.” _ Maha Ananda (Highest level of Joy) 3. “Darling, I know you suffer.” _ Maha Karuna ( Highest level of Compassion) 4. “Darling, I suffer. Please help.” _ Sampooran Samaaveshan (No separation/ Inclusiveness ) .....Hope we all learn to BE this kind of love to attract the same in our lives💖 !

@thecosmosinadrop6022 5 лет назад

"The four elements of true love - The teachings of the Buddha: 1- Loving-kindness: The capacity to offer happiness to oneself and the other. 2- Compassion: The kind of energy that helps remove the suffering 3- Joy: If by loving you cry/make the other person cry, then it is not true love. 4- Inclusiveness: Your happiness is my happiness, your suffering is my suffering. No separation between self and other. If these four elements were present, then it is true-love. If not then it will make you and the other person suffer."

@hoaha8903 4 года назад

Dear Yara💐🌾💐🌾💐🌾💐 Your Summary Is Fantastic!🌾

@jpwjr1199 4 года назад

Yara, it, of course, would be wonderful to experience such a thing; however, doesn't this boil down to the same platitudinous nonsense we see in all other religions including the dominant one in the West, Christianity? For example when Rabindranith Tagore said, quite accurately, that, "Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians, you are not like him.", he meant that when you set up a false, utopian ideal, people cannot follow it. This falls under that category, I believe. We know that happiness comes from within, so I cannot "offer happiness" to another anymore or less than I can own and offer one's suffering. Same goes for joy. That's 1 and 3 right there exposed as provably nonsensical. So it's kinda BS from jumpstreet. And as far as #4 goes, anyone mortal who can tell you that they can own another's joy or suffering is either delusional or someone you find in mental institutions. A much more humble and grounded axiom would be to "never own another's suffering, for you will get your own share and then some". That leaves compassion, which is vital, but compassion and "true love" in the grandiose sense of "being one with nature and the way" and all the rest - it's kinda amounts to worthless information, if you ask me. You didn't, but someone needs to say it.

@andreamartin2953 4 года назад

@@jpwjr1199 I love your barebones-head-out-of-the-clouds commentary. You think clearly when so many are whooed by fluff. I agree with the monk that these attributes are essential to know real love, but they will not always be present on a day-to-day basis because we are human and, therefore, will sometimes fail to exhibit them all the time. I do not agree, however, that another cannot "offer happiness." Very few people do not need validation from another to truly feel happy. We are social animals- it's hard wired within us.

@jpwjr1199 4 года назад

@@andreamartin2953Thank you and fair point. I really am just saying that happiness is a condition that comes from within just as much as from without.

@XandriaRavenheart 4 года назад

Yep, this is 1. Meththa 2. Karuna 3.Muditha 4. Upeksha

@lordbyron3603 8 лет назад

99.9999 percent of the time, romantic love has embedded in it, the element of wanting, desire, possessiveness and ownership ... Unwholesome states of mind.

@yunag3977 7 лет назад

Lord Byron well said

@corpsie666 7 лет назад

Can you back up your statement with certified data? It sounds like you may need help in reducing your own suffering.

@michaeljanes4484 6 лет назад

Somehow i can't believe that only 0.0001% or 7600 people don't have these unwholesome elements/states of mind. But then my mind bends two ways; in believing that way more people are actually wholesome and have Agape, or in feeling that way less than 7600 people actually have that kind of love. My suffering in a way is the not knowing.

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

No human being have embedded in themselves, the element of wanting, desire, possessiveness and ownership. Not l love

@aini9528 5 лет назад

I believe wanting, desire, possessiveness and ownership all have a emotion of fear _attached_ to it deeply beneath the surface under miles and tonnes of sandstone and slate pieces. Or maybe not attached to it? Maybe it is just sending it and it becomes something else in the way. But if there is no longer fear, if there is acceptance then maybe fear will receed and there is left but ...

@veganironwoman1556 8 лет назад

He is not saying that romantic love has no value...he is just saying that unless romantic love has a core of true love (compassion) then, it is not enough. If romantic love can evolve to true love...then it is enough...and WILL end suffering!

@mr1001nights 8 лет назад

+Vegan Iron Woman I'll give you the more straightforward answer that Thich Nhat Hanh only subtly implied: Buddhism doesn't support romantic love because it tends too have too much desire involved in it, involving ego and cultural (& carnal) strivings. A standard example: a woman is much more likely to feel romantic love toward the charismatic captain of the football team than toward a fat homeless guy in a wheelchair. And a man is much more likely to feel romantic love and write a love poem about some very good looking young woman with a beautiful singing voice than some older uglier woman without that same level of culturally-valued talent. Furthermore, a person with some of these attractive attributes will tend to "bargain" for a partner who also has them. It's a kind of "market exchange" - ''love'' given only in exchange for certain attributes. In other words, the beautiful woman with the beautiful singing voice will not settle for the same romantic partner of a less beautiful, less talented woman, or even the same partner that she would accept if she had had a disease that made her lose her beauty and singing voice. And conversely, the charismatic captain of the football team will not settle for the same kind of woman that a shy unpopular individual would settle for. A Buddhist monk's love and compassion is supposed to be less conditional and exclusive. And that's quite apart from sexual desire, which some Buddhists view as a problem. Also, romantic love often produces children, which is very destructive toward other species, since we have a serious problem of overpopulation (and overconsumption).

@user-uh2lr5sr6o 8 лет назад

I'm not a Buddhist, but if I may say something anyway: I don't think it is fair to say that romantic love can't be true love. True love comes in different forms. The love between a mother to her child, to her husband, and to her siblings are different, and even have different duties in relationship for it to be loving. So here, we have maternal, romantic/spousal, and familial love, all coming from one person. However, I would not dare say that while her love to these people are different and have different resposibilities, they are not all True Love! Thich Nhat Hanh wasn't saying that Buddhism doesn't support romantic love, but flat out said that romantic love CAN be true. I think the real danger is treating mere infatuation as true love.

@mr1001nights 8 лет назад

You'd have to define what you mean by "true love". Try to deal with the specific arguments in my previous post.

@user-uh2lr5sr6o 8 лет назад

True love is defined in the video by Thich Nhat Hanh as possessing four elements, which are "Loving-Kindness", which he says is a part of true romantic love, or else both will suffer, "Compassion", saying you must be able to take care of the suffering of the other person, whether you are romantic with the other person or not, "Joy", you must be able to make the other person happy, he says, and "Inclusiveness", which doesn't fall into your definition of the term. He states in the video that this "inclusiveness" takes the form of "including" their sufferings and problems into your own, whether than saying, "That's YOUR problem!" It's true that romantic love tends to be discriminatory, as is maternal love. However, discrimination isn't inherently evil, and is in fact, a necessary function of justice. We discriminate between the guilty and the innocent, for example. But take note that love need not necessarily be romantic! Though you may not have romantic feelings for the slob, that doesn't mean you don't love them! That a child may not be yours, and you have no paternal love for that child, that doesn't mean you don't love them! Love, in all of it's expressions, is true as long as the four elements are present, as far Thich is concerned. As for your comment on children, most Buddhists seem to disagree with you. The Dalai Lama is a critic of Western culture, "having bigger homes, but smaller families", to quote this site: www.khandro.net/lama_HHDalai_Lama.htm But that's a whole 'nother subject altogether.

@mr1001nights 8 лет назад

The general Buddhist concept of love and inclusiveness means avoiding too much "love discrimination", as it generates excessive amounts of desire and aversion. That partly explains why more serious practitioners like monks and nuns avoid having children, romantic partners, or other forms of excessively exclusive love. This we could call "the middle path", and allows them to express greater love for the "slob" or for other people's children than the person focused on loving their "non-slob" romantic partner or their own children. If the Buddha really thought that romantic love (or having children) was a stepping stone toward universal love - toward extending that same love to everyone - they wouldn't advise monks and nuns to avoid these things. Thinch Nhat Hanh seemed a little too accommodating to the (non-monastic) audience when he said that romantic love leads to universal love - to the "inclusiveness" necessary for "true love". Clearly, we don't have many examples of this. As for "my comment on children", I think it simply was that we're overpopulated and that we consume too much, factors which destroy the ecosystem. I doubt that the Dalai Lama disagrees with this, but it wouldn't matter, as we have enough evidence to confirm this no matter who disagrees.

@marshaalison1569 7 лет назад

"If it is not true love it will make you suffer and it will make the other suffer as well". 💯

@neo-pq1lu 5 лет назад

Marsha Alison true is one thing and love is another true is words just to confirm the fact but love words bounding relativity it's brings mixed mode happy and sorrow ....

@TasteMyStinkholeAndLikeIt 5 лет назад

@András Páll Non-existence is the ultimate gift. Awareness is Satans greatest evil

@neo-pq1lu 5 лет назад

András Páll sufferings is a good teacher ya u r right ....birth is responsible hold the concept of birth it's a ignorance and stop birth then no more sufferings remain .... Vipssana meditation technique Ven SN Goenkaji explain everything ......

@teampyro911 5 лет назад

its only true for a few months ,then he/or she will find a new infatuation saldy :/

@Fun_facts_Zzz 5 лет назад

@@TasteMyStinkholeAndLikeIt suffering is inevitable and it is worth it

@negashmohammed2636 4 года назад

true love requires internal security. if someone is internally secure, he/she is all love and compassion. Because most burning and vibrant romantic love can turn to hell for fear of losing the other person. People who love flowers grow them in bottles and those who love birds put them in cages etc. But those who truly love, let go(/ or let them free to go) of there beloved. the most loved thing to us humans which we can't survive some minutes without is our breath, but if we don't let it go and come freely it may kill us.

@prakritigurung1186 4 года назад

Wow

@ruthfourie7499 3 года назад

Prakriti Gurung I thought so too. The breath example is amazing.

@MrCmon113 2 года назад

@@ruthfourie7499 No, it isn't. It doesn't make any sense.

@olsim1730 Месяц назад

@@MrCmon113how's holding your breath going for you? 🙏❤

@IvonneBonBini 5 лет назад

Because what society calls romantic “love” is the opposite of real love 😁

@JonasAnandaKristiansson 5 лет назад

Yes

@TasteMyStinkholeAndLikeIt 5 лет назад

So real love you can only get from other women, as I'm pretty sure there isn't a man on earth who meets you that doesn't want to put his stinky twinky in you.

@Call-me-Al 5 лет назад

@@TasteMyStinkholeAndLikeIt if his "twinky" is stinky something is wrong with him.

@AngelZamoraMx 5 лет назад

It's desire or somenthing

@freethinker79 5 лет назад

Eros/lust "love." The lowest kind of "love" there is. A chemical attraction that is largely conditional and soon wears off. Higher Love (Agape) is absolutely unconditional, universal, and eternal. It is the causal force of Creation itself that lies at the core essence of us all.

@tashacook281 8 лет назад

Thatz why I don't watch soap operas....or read romance novels. they fill the mind with not right thinking. Fairy tales.

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

They are simply a diversion and not presented as reality.

@janityy 5 лет назад

Life is just a Fantasy, can you live this fantasy life, Alda Nova Of course Romantic love is a fantasy so what I've had such wonderful times and memories with that fantasy . Reality can suck this planet is mostly concerned with death just look at the animal kingdom and daily death and killing of each other. Hard core reality can be gross ugly and base ,better to ride the fantasy for 9 months till the good sex and chocolate gifts end than move on , that's it , no need to get so sidetracked about it

@pkskyw 5 лет назад

@@janityy It becomes ugly when you think it that way. Just as a spider which seems ugly to me, is probably beautiful to you, just like a person who seems ugly to you is beautiful for his/her parents. When you see the real world and know that this is the game of life, and observe with detatchment you'll know that good needs bad to stay good and bad needs good to become bad and that both are inevitable parts of life and that its a game, and we are under the illusion that things are good/bad due to our mental dispositions (The case of Spider, and a person). This is called Maya. And all things/phenomena are necessarily good.

@pkskyw 5 лет назад

@Clutch7 If I have immense wisdom I wont be affected by loss of anything or anyone, because someday or the other they will be gone anyway, also everyone has to face the repurcussions of his/her karma (as they explain in Vedanta, and Buddhist Ideologies). But its easier said than done. I am not perfect so its obvious I will panic if something as such happens. But my goal is to become perfect (in a sense that nothing ever affects my peace and happiness). There are several methods for this given out by ancient ascetics (That includes Gautam Buddha). You should read Gyana Yoga (also called Jnana Yoga) and Raja Yoga by Swami Vivekananda, and Buddhist philosophies. I am not perfect, a lot of us arent. But we should aim to be perfect, right? Being Equanimous and Happy at all times regardless of Physical or other materialistic discomfort. Whats the meaning of life otherwise?

@Almosteasyese 5 лет назад

I'm Mexican and something I disliked watching the latino T.V. channels, as a little kid especially, was how full they were of passionate, irrational, romantic love... and violence. So many characters who lacked any self control, would fall in love madly and be irrational, and even characters who were serial cheaters who would fall, " in love ", with anyone. Also plenty of revenge killings, etc... the drama of it all is just so base I used to hate my mom leaving those things on because I barely knew what was happening but I knew it was all wrong. Our music is also like 75% about romantic love , and much of it about being helpless against the strong emotions- positive and negative- it elicits. I actually think the attitude towards romance and aggression are intertwined, that being that they are emotions that control you. You're sort of trained to let those feelings run you if you choose to think that way. I think that whole mode of being is anti-buddhist and what that path seeks to help us avoid.

@jcawalton 9 лет назад

5.50 "Your problem is my problem. My suffering is your suffering." True love. Beautiful and true.

@UnderBridge 9 лет назад

+James Walton That´s not true love, thats dependency

@douglaswatt8206 8 лет назад

+Skip TV Actually the blending of what is yours and mine become one when love is true. According to the Buddha that is. It has to do with the perception on non-discrimination being part of what makes love true.

@TrustInTheUniverse 8 лет назад

+Skip TV Wouldn't necessarily say so

@UnderBridge 8 лет назад

+James Walton As far as i know, Buddha didn´t teach about "true love"... his teachings were about "stoping own suffering", and undertanding that pain is part of life..

@TrustInTheUniverse 8 лет назад

Skip TV and helping others end their suffering as well

@bethelightofyourownhealing 8 лет назад

Beautiful...."if you cannot offer happiness to the other person...this is not true love." That is true! The other day, I wrote about how love during my near death experience was like no love I've ever experinced. The purity of that love is something we aim to bring into this life. Love is such a misunderstood topic. In romantic relationships, people often try to manipulate others into caring for them. So many romantic relationships are based on co-dependency, addiction, or need. What is called “falling in love” is often a deep desire to get one’s needs and desires fulfilled by someone else. What people might examine instead is what they bring to the lives of another person. Do they make that person’s life more enjoyable and relaxing? Do they do loving things for this person without a desired outcome in mind? Do they express love unconditionally? Are you being manipulated or lied to about anything? Is your voice heard and do you listen? Do you like what you hear?

@egodust11 5 лет назад

@@GrubKiller436 I completely agree! And think both elements are vital to life's experience. Jung also pointed this out.. (IMO, Alan Watts was a virtual sage...perhaps among the greatest!)

@lifeisshortpeace7783 5 лет назад

If my wife tells me that another man can gives her more happiness and she wants a divorce ,I would gladly sign the divorce paper and wish her happiness in her new relationship.that to me is unconditional love.

@daffyrose 5 лет назад

frank xaidam Yes. I love Alan Watts too. His insights work on many levels. At least for me.

@lifeisshortpeace7783 4 года назад

@Snatcher Claus true love there is no condition, eg,I love you because you love me,if you don't then i don't love you.that's not true love.even if you don't love me I still love you.that to me is true love.have a nice day.

@terrenceburton7903 4 года назад

💛💛💛💛💛 Aint nothin like the Love from above... Peace Blessings..

@JD.......... 5 лет назад

1) Offering Happiness to self and other 2) Compassion - transforms suffering of both 3) Joy - Positive to Negative interactions 4) Inclusiveness + the “one-made-flesh” (“Romantic” and not romantic is irrelevant)

@anilmallawarachchi9978 3 года назад

As Lord Buddha said, if you could offer unconditional love and kindness to anybody, there you will find true love whether it's romantic or not.

@Nawongyonten-yp4fz 6 часов назад

❤ thank you

@TrustInTheUniverse 8 лет назад

I was expecting a different answer. Very beautiful and surprising

@kylewick3737 4 года назад

Trust In The Universe. He is such a pure soul, naturally keeps one calm through his presence and knowledge! His smile is Pure Love! Prema Bhakti!

@oreos6539 6 лет назад

Buddha gave me hope when i was suffering and taught me how to be a better person and live happily. Don't hate on Buddhism

@johnatkinson4287 8 лет назад

Most romantic love does end in suffering because most people invest their happyness in the other person...and when this ends it can be very hurtful,if both people know the truth of impermanance and the truth that nothing ever stays the same you have a foundation for a better time....clinging and wanting things not to change is the heart of most if not all suffering

@leila7524 8 лет назад

Well said

@hathairatjongsermtrakoon5226 8 лет назад

I do agree of what you said. We are suffering because we put our happiness in the partner and expect him or her to not change. And once it changes, we are trying to hold it, which is impossible.

@MaximC 7 лет назад

john atkinson I agree. And this kind of relationship couldn't (shouldn't) be called "love", because it is a sick relationship really, unfortunately that's most of couples...

@Petersonmgee 7 лет назад

what to you mean by change?

@MaximC 7 лет назад

***** That's exactly what I gathered. And also that actual romantic love is just a part of general love, "the" love, one expression out of many different expressions of love (and nowadays "romantic love" is usually not coming from a place of love, but rather from fear, from clinging to things...)

@zeldaoot23 5 лет назад

His answer was great, but I wonder if instead of “offer happiness” he meant “help the other person find happiness.” For example, if your partner is depressed and you cannot provide them with happiness, it doesn’t mean you don’t truly love them. In my experience, sometimes all you can do is to try to help them find happiness for themself, and offer them patience and compassion until the clouds part and they can see sunshine again.

@labeauty9076 4 года назад

Dear Hephen, i thought to tell you. I also was thinking before the way you wrote here, understanding Love as 'help the other person to find happiness', if i realised i am not the one to make the person happy. I thought it is generous to walk away, giving him his way, offering paitence and understanding his sad depressed feelings, but also uderstanding there is nothing i can really do to help him to figure out his way. And as i found out by my life experience and confirmed while listening the reply on the question above - true love means be able to accept the other fully as it is with all + and --- and become as one for sharing joy, happiness and compassion to fell all-embracing love for all of us. So by saying 'offer happiness' i guess it was about feeling the true love, and by 'help the other person find happiness' is in my opinion excluding this person, putting in the base the feeling 'i am not for him and he is not for me'. It is a pity to realise so - there were some big feeling (and probably good), but no true love I hope the text i wrote above makes a bit clarifying on your suggestion. If you have any questions - please you are welcome to say: beautyouare@gmail.com Big gratefullness to Thich Nhat Hanh for all and more

@labeauty9076 4 года назад

In the teaching of the Buddha, 02:49 true love needs four elements. First of all: Maitri - loving-kindness that is the capacity to offer happiness. If you cannot offer happiness, that is not true love. In romantic love, if you are not able to help the other person to be happy, that is not true love. So you should train yourself in order to be able to offer happiness to you and to him, or to her. 03:30 Without that, both will suffer.

@kamilahmartin5160 4 года назад

Thank you!

@panksnotdeder 4 года назад

Depression is an illness and has nothing to do with love. It's a topic for itself. If it is not depression, but feelings of sadness, then it is another story. People are using the 'depression' word around too easily these days, not understanding what it really is.

@lorettanericcio-bohlman567 4 года назад

People must find their own happiness.

@ILoveSaintBernards 5 лет назад

I desperately needed to hear this. I made a huge mistake of being attached to her and I need to train my mind to let go.

@lefu7812 4 года назад

Lmao your username

@ILoveSaintBernards 4 года назад

@@lefu7812 🤣🤣🤣

@ILoveSaintBernards 4 года назад

@Block Chain You are right. The thing was, she did not find it in her to reciprocate, hence, I have been moving on from her since August of last year, and, quite frankly, I feel myself getting close to moving on entirely from her. I still love her like a family member, but, after the way she stonewalled and ghosted me for keeping it real with her, I am not going to try again at intimacy, let alone, talk to her, ever again. After she faces her karma for causing heartbreak in me - something every person who causes heartbreak has to go through - I pray she will be with someone better suited for her than I.

@ILoveSaintBernards 4 года назад

@Block Chain To let go of someone is not to forget them; to let go is to develop the mental strength to be unphased by the thought of them.

@ILoveSaintBernards 4 года назад

@Block Chain I happen to be quite the emotional and sensitive type; people like myself have a hard time forgetting those we were once fond of, but, life goes on and I need to condition myself to adopt reptile skin if I am to open myself to bigger and better in the world. Like I said, to let go starts by being unphased by the thought of the very thing or person that is no longer in your life. In order to forget them as you say, you need to first learn how to be unaffected by the thought of them. I appreciate your take on all of this and if you have anything else to offer, I am willing to hear you out.

@tanjamiller3321 5 лет назад

If so many more people took in and applied what he discusses, there would not be so many divorces, infidelity, hatred between couples. What he speaks about is pure, innocent, unconditional love toward another. So many people are selfish are are so blind to see what he discusses about TRUE LOVE. I don't think anyone (non-Buddhists) could have said this any better. It is such a beautiful way/thoughts to truly love another person.

@drycleanernick7603 4 года назад

“I have right judgement because I seek the will of God” “God loves us more than we can ever know or even love ourselves” The word for love in Greek takes three forms: One means brotherly love. One means romantic love/attractions One means unconditional love. God IS unconditional love. Jesus said to seek the will of God. Therefore He said seek unconditional love in your lives.

@kylewick3737 4 года назад

Dry cleaner nick. Ecstatic Love of Jah! All encompassing Love! Christ was Love and Gentleness so was Buddha!

@drycleanernick7603 4 года назад

Kyle Wick I love ya man

@drycleanernick7603 4 года назад

Kyle Wick blessings!

@kylewick3737 4 года назад

@@drycleanernick7603 , Breathe, Smile , Laugh and Dance!, The Gospel of Ramakrishna is the best book ever! 1 Love!

@woodyexplorer 7 лет назад

In Tripitaka: someone asks Bhuddha how two people will love each other and keep it. The Bhuddha said love doesn't come by accident or given. It requires both sides to create and handle. People will love each other for a long time when they have equality in 4 factors. Faith, Sila, hearts and wisdom. Apology for my English.

@beefandbarley 5 лет назад

Thank you. And perfect English.

@understandyourmind 5 лет назад

Sila - you mean strength? Sounds Slovak :D

@smirkovs120 5 лет назад

@@understandyourmind force in bosnian serbian croatian

@games4us132 5 лет назад

Actually 3 factors S'ila - morality principles, Samadhi - spiritual effort(meditation) and pann'a - spiritual wisdom(nirvana)

@moedervanbranko409 5 лет назад

@@understandyourmind To bude asi tým, že 'Vedy/Védy' boli rozšírené do Indie Slovanmi. Sanskrit ma Starosloviensku bázu. Viac si môžete prečítať na Tartaria.sk

@c.a.t.732 4 года назад

I suspect it's time we stop getting our answers to life's questions from "teachers" and gurus and start thinking for ourselves, which is kind of what the Buddha suggested in the first place.

@davidzapataaguilar437 4 года назад

TRUE

@cutestuff59FR 4 года назад

Preach 👏

@vivianvivian9944 4 года назад

Yasssss

@farshimelt 4 года назад

Without training from an enlightened person, "thinking for ourselves" can lead to disaster. Examine the lives of so-called world leaders and you'll see the results of thinking for yourself.

@MrJeanNunes 4 года назад

theres a great probability of ego expansion in this path. buddhism is a dialogue. you don't have to think like the master, you have to talk to him.

@vampireducks1622 4 года назад

This is really the first time I've heard Thich Nhat Hanh (I've sort of avoided listening to him before just because of how popular he is). And I like him! This is actually a great answer. Simple, to the point, and no nonsense.

@Candamoon 5 лет назад

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this one today. I am very lucky to be able to hear this teaching. I am grateful. May all beings be happy and free from suffering. Sadhu sadhu sadhu. 🙏🙏🙏

@sergeypaliy6361 5 лет назад

Canda you need to go to Lord Jesus.He is our Creator and He is only one true God.Budda won't save you,he is dead.Jesus Christ is alive and He is living God,He rules all Univers.Only Jesus can save you from hell.Seek Lord Jesus in prayer,cry out to Him,repent of all your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and He will give you everlasting life.God bless you!

@angerluol8456 3 года назад

His voice exudes so much peace, I feel so calm when listening to him

@user-is3yn7xr4c 5 лет назад

In Greek, there's four words for love: 1. Storge 2. Philia 3. Eros 4. Agape

@paulpowell6418 5 лет назад

And Agape being the greatest of the 4.

@Hgulix62 4 года назад

Translation ?

@CowSayMoo52 4 года назад

StupidityKiller - 1. Love 2. Love 3. Love 4. Big Love

@Maria-pp5eq 4 года назад

@@Hgulix62 1. care 2. friendship 3. romantic love 4. love

@sifter14 4 года назад

@@CowSayMoo52 lmaoooo pretty much

@MrAFLmaster 8 лет назад

I personally do not believe that Buddhism disagrees with romantic love. "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and with your own common sense."

@kellykitkat40 8 лет назад

That is the definition of critical thinking, is it not?

@vetiarvind 8 лет назад

I'm sure it does. Romantic love is the offspring of desire, or attachment. Since the budhha said desire leads to dukkha, it should be bad.

@oaxacachaka 8 лет назад

Denying it also leads to suffering. It has to be eclipsed by something greater than selfish desire. "Transformed" which is the path of the Mahayana.

@jimmynguyen227 7 лет назад

my take on this quote from the Buddha (i think it's from him if I'm not mistaken) is that it was geared entirely towards the individual, granting the individual the greatest power of choice. it takes individual effort to strive towards liberation of any kind (or really towards anything that lasts in general) rather than effort from any external factor, and if anything from the outside works, it may only work for a certain, finite period of time. on a grander scale, he may have also been suggesting that an individual, given where he is in life, may have to go through certain experiences on his own until he reaches a particular realization and there really isn't any substitution for experience whether it be the bible, the baghavad gita, the tao te ching, any religious/spiritual or self-help text, what someone said on TV, what your friend or loved one advised you to do, etc.

@MaximC 7 лет назад

Eminem In fact, in this case the man just made us rethink what *really* love/romantic love is (would be). That's it, no prohibition or taboo or anything...

@kreitlawer3339 5 лет назад

4 elements of true love: 1. Maitri, loving-kindness: be able to offer happiness (mutually). Without that both will suffer. 2. Compassion: kind of energy that can help remove suffering, that can transform something in you and in the other person. 3. Joy: if both of you are crying all the time it is not true love. If it doesnt generates happiness it is not true love. 4. Inclusiveness: his happiness is your happiness, his suffering is your suffering. If it is true love, it will continue to grow. It will include humans, animals, vegetables, minerals, etc. Thats a great love.

@chrizyzentv5802 5 лет назад

To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change. True love has no opposite. If your “love” has an opposite, then it is not love but a strong ego-need for a more complete and deeper sense of self, a need that the other person temporarily meets. It is the ego’s substitute for salvation, and for a short time it almost does feel like salvation. ~ Eckhart Tolle

@flowergarden9129 9 лет назад

It's a pleasure listening to him. I deeply hope that he can recover from his illness. 🎋

@liveyourdreams111 9 лет назад

+Flower Garden he's ill?

@liveyourdreams111 8 лет назад

RedWingedMongrel that's horrible. i wonder how that happens to people like this...they're so relaxed...

@liveyourdreams111 8 лет назад

Reiki Healer well i guess the reason i link stroke with stress is from my uncle and my cousin both passing away from a stroke at work...on the job, under heavy pressure.

@HannahGK 8 лет назад

+liveyourdreams111 I'm sorry to hear that. My grandfather also passed away in a similar way. But it's not always due to stress. *_"All compounded things are subject to decay."_* -- The Buddha

@stevenglansburg856 7 лет назад

"Illness" stroke isn't an illness. It just fucks you up.

@alicefremont 7 лет назад

"Romantic and not romantic is not important, the important is: it is true love or not true love. Right?" :)

@velocitygirl8551 5 лет назад

Just watching him speak brings me great peace ♥️

@taydilarel27 5 лет назад

This is the second video on you tube I watch of this kind man. The first one was with Oprah. When he talks about the 4 mantras. Ooooh.... he touched my heart so deeply....and also on this video. My eyes are full of tears... such a kind person , full of wisdom and kindness : Thich Nhat Hanh.

@chilieatanddream2405 4 года назад

I find cooking a way of expressing my love for others especially to my most loved and closest one at home. It bring happiness, joy and turn negative to positive. We are what we eat. ❤️

@FallouFitness_NattyEdition 7 лет назад

I'm going to remember this next time I see one of those dumb relationship memes on Facebook.

@OffTheRailGaming 5 лет назад

Facebook is unhealthy, you should stop using it. (I know you posted a year ago lol)

@user-fs8bb8gh4n 5 лет назад

Relationship memes like: Marriage is like a deck of cards In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond By the end you wish you had a club and a spade ? Or: There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ?

@bonnienixon3505 6 лет назад

Wow, so so so very moving - the four mantras. Thank you Oprah for facilitating this beautiful conversation with this beautiful being. We are so blessed that he lives during our lifetime.

@Rednuts142 8 лет назад

Beautiful, thank you thich nhat hanh for your gorgeous loving wisdom, and thank you for the plum village community who work hard to get these recorded and uploaded!

@paulinaleyton6518 5 лет назад

I could be sitting listening to him for hours, so much wisdom in his words, thanks

@aritina8379 5 лет назад

I just wanna wrap my arms around him and give him the biggest and longest embrace!!! I love that man!!! ❤️❤️❤️ hes oozing with love and all kinds of positive energy!

@iLoveToBeM3 7 лет назад

To clear things up, Buddhism is not against romantic love when the essence of true joyful love is present.

@fuldagermany 9 лет назад

Lovely man ... strong and compassionate man.

@beefandbarley 5 лет назад

Would it be accurate to call him a buddha? I think it would.

@sudeshjoshi7190 5 лет назад

"The other person is no longer the only object of your love. Because your love will continue to grow." 💙

@MAgaSUXX 4 года назад

Listening to thay brings me happiness. It amazes me how easily he speaks english. His voice is universal. I follow his wisdom more than anyone on earth.

@enjoythemoment8973 4 года назад

True love is hard to find/obtain with someone, seems that there is always an underLYING motivation to create/maintain/sustain a relationship, an honest/true relationship

@OmegaWolf747 7 лет назад

Wow! That's a really cool explanation. Perhaps people should watch this video before getting engaged.

@vnngandoi 6 лет назад

Totally agree..

@queenofpositivity4211 5 лет назад

totally agree

@mily87ful 5 лет назад

❤️

@tmwoujupweman1061 5 лет назад

True

@anonyeetmas2180 5 лет назад

@Keepadagroov facts

@MichaelMaitri 9 лет назад

Romantic love is a lesser love ~ Because it is based on desire ~ True love is a greater love ~ Because it is based on identification ~ When the essence at the core of my being ~ Identifies with the essence ~ At the core of your being ~ This is true love ~ Since romantic love ~ Is based on desire ~ It can wane ~ Since true love is based on identification ~ It will never wane ~ Romantic love is only extended to other human beings ~ Whereas True love ~ Is extended to the whole of God's creation ~ It is universal ! ~

@UnderBridge 9 лет назад

+Michael Maitri That´s not true. I use to love a girl, and when that happened, I felt love for the world... bassically, you dont know what are you talking about.... And Buddhism can´t answer this question, because Buddha is dead... What is happening here, is that nowdays Buddhism is corrupted like Christianism, and money and power is more important. So this amateur monk, in first place, should talk about his own experience... did he ever have a girlfriend?... if he didn t, then he is not alowed to answer this question in the "name" of Buddhism. I have seen other videos of this monk, talking to kids, and he is so awful giving advice to kids, he may look like so wise, but he is not.

@dhyanmurti 9 лет назад

+Seventy Nine Well either you only referred to title of video and didn't watch the video or you have assumption as you mentioned that all buddhist monks are corrupt. He is saying exactly what you mentioned in your statement. Romantic or not, if it's true love then it will grow further is what he said here.

@UnderBridge 9 лет назад

I did watch it, this monk is an amateur

@dhyanmurti 9 лет назад

+Seventy Nine haha now your making yourself look dumb( no offense) . Monk is monk , some have high level of practice and experience and some don't, that's it. Not like your claiming that he is amateur or pro.

@UnderBridge 9 лет назад

+dan murphey "Your making yourself look dumb( no offense)"

@madametia5379 5 лет назад

🌸🌻🌺🌸This has summed up everything I have been trying to say and get someone to understand, but the person is clueless or plays like they don't understand. I needed this video! Thank you it has helped me tremendously! 🙌

@awakenedvision5780 3 года назад

True love in a romantic relationship is probably the most difficult to practice. So many of us go into a romantic relationship with ego-based ideas about how we are supposed to relate to one another. True love is honest and free from the need to control anything.

@angelahamlett8249 5 лет назад

True love brings romance. Romance does not bring true love. Beautiful message! ♡♡♡

@Tidussoul 8 лет назад

Thich, you are one of the reason I became a humble person. I believe in nature, the very spirited reason of true love for mother earth. Thank you, because of you all my nicknames ends with Monk haha!

@lallyoisin 5 лет назад

I'm just a blow in here but I don't think he needs to hear/read that!

@eisenheim777 8 лет назад

Listen to the master, listen again, and again before making comments. Then when u think u are ready to make comments, talk your personal experience, not what you think he says or what you think budism says. Talk about what you think, not about what you think others think, unless you are a master of telepathy. OK? Thanks!

@Shindai 7 лет назад

So it's not that buddhism doesn't support romantic love, as much as it's cautious to avoid infatuation and recklessness in the pursuit of love, am I understanding correctly? True love, nurturing and nourishing for both/all parties, not clinging, but mutually beneficial and joy-making.

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

No love is always reckless. We can never know if the other person feels as we do.

@flanigan_a-go-go 6 лет назад

Well put

@terranhealer 5 лет назад

Buddhism primarily condemns actions that are unskillful. So being involved in a romantic relationship that both parties agree is failing could be considered unskillful

@gwiltl 5 лет назад

Yes, that's correct. Buddhism is not disrespectful or derisive to any other way of life; it's not condemning.

@sergeypaliy6361 5 лет назад

Daniel Gould you need Jesus Christ.He is our Savior and Lord.Only Jesus can give you everlasting life and saves from hell. Jesus Christ is only one way to Heaven

@samuelgio1975 4 года назад

Thich Nhat Hanh saved many lives, it would be wonderful if my family too can discover his teachings that bring a lot of joy and insight.. Shanti

@ImBlackIvy 5 лет назад

He forgot to mention don’t put your relationship on social media and based it on

@firstandlastswagman269 4 года назад

My girlfriend was Chating to other guys heart breaking Liar

@TheBb6prelude 4 года назад

First and Last swagman women do that all the time. I going to tell my girl I’m done with all the social media shit. I’m going off and I want to know if she’s going to follow me. If she doesn’t I’m basically done with all of it.

@MichaelSeanDemalignonII 4 года назад

If you have true love you will allow your partner to do as they please. If you have true love you will allow everyone to do as they please.

@introverteddawg9805 4 года назад

@@MichaelSeanDemalignonII If they cheat on you and you are indifferent, you dont have a spine.

@MichaelSeanDemalignonII 4 года назад

Introverted Dawg perhaps but it doesn’t change anything. You can leave and still be indifferent. You see if you allow them to do as they please then you allow yourself to do as you please as well. Which includes leaving. There are many ways to leave however the most effective seems to be by walking upright with the help of your spine.

@samdiesel2000 8 лет назад

the best ever answer....towards the end he really made his point gr8

@PhoenixwayNet 6 лет назад

The title of this video is corrected by Thay during his answer, validating that romantic love is fine as long as its true love, as he defines further...as maitri/loving kindess, karuna/compassion, joy, inclusiveness.

@marialuizadeaquino641 9 лет назад

Actually the right title to this lecture would rather be "How to take romantic love into our spiritual path"... no matter wether you are a Buddhist, a Cristian, or a Muslim...

@dhammmaraja 6 лет назад

nope not really, romantic love is not of enlightenment, fact

@peacefulmind1409 6 лет назад

+SeolSword Romantic love can be true love which the Buddha never hold against.

@technomage6736 5 лет назад

There's no such thing as "romantic love". There is romance, and there is love. Often these 2 things go together, and as he suggests here, when you are truly in love, a healthy romance may blossom.

@abw48 5 лет назад

Luz Mariah De Aquino: I dont see where muslims practice compassion or any kind of true love, they seem much more focused on revenge and hate for anybody who does not like their religion. They attack every religion around the World so I cannot see them on a spiritual path of love, romantic or otherwise.

@zaza9678 5 лет назад

@@abw48 that is not true.muslims are all around the world.we shoudnt be stereotyped by what one group does.

@bettymaugeri7316 5 лет назад

Wonderful insight - if only I understood this when I got married years of hurt, unhappiness and no joy might have been avoided - thank you!

@GerritSlembrouck 5 лет назад

Catch attention question all right, rephrased would be: "How does Buddhism support romantic love?"

@chokdeesam2365 4 года назад

Nice !!

@Chopin4321 5 лет назад

true love...brings limitless happiness... love and kindness...compassion... joy...empathy...inclusiveness...all embracing...people...animals...plants... minerals

@firstandlastswagman269 4 года назад

It's good

@shantishanti1949 5 лет назад

The best explanation of true love I have heard. 🙏💕

@kamilahmartin5160 4 года назад

Because maybe u Never loved! U just cared.

@satnamo 5 лет назад

Love is a friendship inspires by beauty and truth and sustains by loving kindness. The rule of friendship means that there must be a mutual understanding between them; each supplies what the other lacks and trying to benefit the other: Always using sincere and friendly words. Therefore, the expressions of love must be kind and gentle; not some diamonds in the sky.

@isabellezablocki7447 2 года назад

What can I say, I love this guy. He is always right one. Yes true love is a lot about giving and bringing something to someone.

@LDacic 4 года назад

Love is a process that needs nurturing. Instead of saying "if it is true love", from my experience, it is more accurate to think of it as "if you both (romantic partners) decide to make it true love, this is how you could break it down into four parts". Also, true love is not something you achieve and then forever wear it as a badge of honor; it needs constant nourishing and adaptation to new situations / challenges. Learning how to navigate the levels of life while loving someone who equally loves you is the ultimate art.

@hugogonzalez1749 5 лет назад

Personally, I've found that in love you will find suffering. When you suffer you may cry and look for comfort. Ironically the person that may have caused your grief may be the same to console you out of love. It seems backward but nobody is perfect. We will cause pain upon others even if we claim to love them, which is why we apologize and feel guilt or shame. This is also why we learn to forgive. What matters, as I've lived it, is the greater period of time you spend with someone. For as many times as I may argue with my love, she has brought me a year of happiness overall so I accept some pain. To each his own.

@Metzolino 4 года назад

For me there are two kinds of Love, the first is the EGO Love, and the other the real and unconditionally Love, where you let the other be like he/she is, where you having no more any expectations, where jealousy is an borrowed word, where you no more judge, and so on.... And only then it is true Love, and only when you did transformed your EGO in to a heart consciousness, you are been able to really love, otherwise it‘s just an EGO Love... And that means about 70-80% worldwide are in an EGO love relationship, and they don‘t even know it... Much much Love and Peace for ALL out there.. ♥️✌🏼

@kashmirpandit 5 лет назад

People do not realize fully yet, how much these philosophies contributed to humanity which they all originated from India, a country which has been used, abused, looted for thousands of years by various invaders despite it still stands today to its original values, something one can use this example for one's personal life.

@drstalone 5 лет назад

India has originated many great things, but has also got a powerful well-developed, inflexible materialistic culture with a system of rigid hierarchies and roles that is oppressive to any individual who attempt to break free of the system for freedom and happiness.

@J-C-K. 9 месяцев назад

Thich Nhat Hanhs Mantras für wahre Liebe 🧘‍♂💞💞🧘‍♀ 1. "Liebling, ich bin für dich da." ~ Maha Maitreyi ( Höchste Stufe der Freundschaft) 2. "Ich weiß, dass du da bist, und ich bin sehr glücklich." ~ Maha Ananda (Höchste Stufe der Freude) 3. "Liebling, ich weiß, dass du leidest." ~ Maha Karuna (Höchste Stufe des Mitgefühls) 4. "Liebling, ich leide. Bitte hilf mir." ~ Sampooran Samaaveshan (Keine Trennung / Einschließung)

@TheYussef3 4 года назад

I’m so happy I found you. Thank you for your wise words and teachings. Lesson learned♥️🙏🏽

@laurapavlou-mudie2907 9 лет назад

Thank you for reminding me about that which my soul knew and understood. Thank you, again.

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

All relationships do not tickle.

@zlatyan 5 лет назад

Why not just say romantic love is something created to cash in on people's emotions and feeds the ego?

@peacefulbliss323 4 года назад

What?

@malusa9508 4 года назад

It made me cry, to realize that I do not know true love, not in the real of romantic love.

@colleendeane7888 4 года назад

What a beautiful reply from Thay. If romantic love is true love, it embraces the world.

@justinreyes5042 5 лет назад

This man looks so enlightened and zened tfo

@crzywitboy3 6 лет назад

I really enjoyed this. Just listening brought a lot of peace. It didn't seem as though he directly answered the question though. As far as how some Buddhist paths seem to require abstinence. I was really curious to see what his answer to that would have been. Very grateful for this video though. Thank you for posting.

@floaterwomyn 6 лет назад

This Buddhist path does not require abstinence- or anything else for that matter (unless you want to be a monastic). They are suggested paths to follow to lead to better understanding and enlightenment. I cannot speak on other Buddhist paths, but this one suggests that you only engage in sexual relations with a committed partner.

@good2freelance1 5 лет назад

So, True love = kindness, compassion, Joy, inclusiveness

@spiritualnoob8237 5 лет назад

Unconditional love is not personal. It is the full acceptance of everything that is right now, EVERYTHING. The whole of existence. Unconditional love has nothing to do with humans, it is the interconnection of a non-dual existence, a state when all the wishes for it to be different are gone. We can talk about human love, but that can never be true unconditional love, that would be something like "I wish everything that's best for you, without any expectation of anything in return for myself". A parent can love its child unconditionally, because the blockages of wanting it to be different are gone.. But at the same time be a racist and hate black people or something else, well.. then the condition is the child isn't it?

@spiritualnoob8237 5 лет назад

@D M @D M Of course everything but the source is duality 😄 That's how the entertainment, dance and gallery of existence comes into form. But we humans have been ingrained with the "meaning" of "unconditional love" for thousands of years, so it's tricky when the true thing have been polluted with a dual idea the majority think is pretty "straight forward" and "obvious". Just communicating here on RU-vid with words fucks everything up, and all I can do is try to make the least amount of misunderstanding 😄 Try talking to parents that what they feel for their child might not be the real "unconditional love", even though their affection is the greatest they've ever felt. To the gallows with you!

@meditation_in_the_field 9 месяцев назад

Thank you very much for these warm-hearted, true words from Thich Nhat Hanh! 🙏 There are a few people in the comments who cannot follow what he is saying. The main reason, in my opinion, is that these people believe in a false self and confuse love with "being in love". Kenneth Wapnick once put it in a nutshell: Special love hides the attack behind the illusion of love, whereby we believe that our special needs are met by special people with special qualities and that is why we love them. In this sense, special love is roughly equivalent to dependency, which breeds contempt or hatred.

@namuu31 Год назад

To me ... I love the general teaching of love and compassion towards life, yourself, and the earth because it's a foundation. Once you've implemented the basics in your life you are more than capable of obtaining and maintaining romantic love. You should not focus on this type of love if you haven't taken the time out to practice love towards yourself and the earth because you will not truly understand it. How will you be able to share what you don't understand? Once I realized this romantic love has faded completely and it's no longer a priority because I haven't learned the basics yet. So proud to be a part of this.

@justko2909 4 года назад

Twin Flame is what he’s talking about. The one person that’s connected to you.

@user-vx9yp7ch3e 4 года назад

Nonsense

@francoisedandre1799 4 года назад

Vous calmez immédiatement comme une source de jeunesse et d'eau pure inaltérable. MERCI D'EXISTER !

@MikeGsaxman 6 лет назад

Mike Gingold Just beautiful! Thank you. Tich Nhat Hanh is a great master of metta bhavana.

@J-C-K. 9 месяцев назад

1. Element: Maitri 慈 (Wohlwollen) Indem du dich liebst, behältst du deine Freiheit. 2. Element: Karuna 悲 (Mitgefühl) Die Fähigkeit, das Leiden zu verstehen, du bist wie ein Arzt, du brauchst nicht zu leiden, hilf ihnen, nicht zu leiden. 3. Element: Mudita 喜 (Mitfühlende Freude) Die Freude, die von euch beiden geteilt wird. Seien Sie in der Lage, Freude in Ihrer Beziehung zu vermitteln. 4. Element: Upeksa 捨 (Gleichmut) Keine diskriminierende Liebe.

@creeyuwan2733 4 года назад

Vielen, vielen Dank für diesen Dharma-Talk! Thank you so much for recording this dharma-talk and uploading it. It means a lot to me!

@alexsteinbach9899 4 года назад

title is not really good chosen. the buddhist says it doesnt matter if its a romantic relationship or not, it only depends on if its true love or no true love.

@celestialvision5073 4 года назад

The difference between Love and Lust is easy to tell. It only requires one question. Do you want to Give yourself to this person or thing? Lust and unhealthy infatuation will Pay For what they want or take what they want, but they won't Give themselves for no reason. Love must be unjustified, it must be insane, because while you do desire to have and possess the thing you love, you are willing to Give yourself regardless of whether you get it or not. You are not Paying for the other persons affection, you are simply giving for free your most valuable possession to another of your choosing. But there is a necessary rule. (of course there is a rule if there wasn't then it would be best not to take such an insane risk as giving yourself away.) And that one rule is: LOVE YOURSELF. anyone who doesn't love themselves can't and won't Find true love anywhere. Because love is the desire to give yourself to someone, if you don't love what your giving then you certainly can't be giving it in love. And if this rule is followed to the fullest then you'll find you never have any love problems again. The problems we have arise from fear, and our lack of love for ourselves, not in the since that we hate ourselves, but in the since that we are selfish towards ourselves. We take all that we can get from our own hearts and lock ourselves up in emotional cages never to see the light of day. We don't listen to ourselves, and we put our own physical desires and needs above the desires and needs of our souls. This is done in fear, fear of discomfort, fear of pain, fear of not having something we need or want. Fear of being alone. Ect... ect... Love yourself. The bible says it's the secound greatest commandment only under the commandment to love god. The person who made you who you are. (And if you don't love the artist then how can you love the art.)

@nyingjesounds5930 4 года назад

Beautiful, so clear and pure, Thanks very much 🙏🙏

@thecomprehensionhub4612 5 лет назад

True love is caring for someone as much as you would for your self. Romantic love is 2 people seeking satisfaction. One is lasting, the other fleeting.

@starlah8299 7 лет назад

true love is we and not I or you...that is what I get from what he is saying

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

A poem by Saichi. When I look at the moon, my vision is very narrow. If I imagine the moon sees me, then it is veyr broad. It is not that I become you but rather you become I.

@francismausley7239 5 лет назад

The world is like a school having various teachers at different times. Each Divine Educator emphasized certain major themes. One major theme of Buddha was detachment. A main theme of Christ was love. One of Muhammad was submission etc. etc. ~ Baha'i Concept

@resistance4672 6 лет назад

it's what I've always thought - if we do not love all, we do not love at all

@ruzickaw 6 лет назад

Are you realy able to love all? I would be more humble and start loving just one person.

@lifeisshortpeace7783 5 лет назад

When you love all,there is no good or bad.its unconditional. Agree with you.

@gbgs4646 4 года назад

True love is not just sex, its much more. loving another person with respect and care .loving smoeone so much that you become one, when one hurts you hurt too, when there is joy you both feel it. when you feel you cannot live with out each other, if one dies you well die soon too. There is not a lot of true love anymore in this world. Now its just about sex and money so sad. 😢😥😰

@J-C-K. 9 месяцев назад

"Die vier Elemente der wahren Liebe - Die Lehren des Buddha: 1. Liebende Güte: Die Fähigkeit, sich selbst und dem anderen Glück zu schenken. 2- Mitgefühl: Die Art von Energie, die hilft, das Leiden zu beseitigen 3- Freude: Wenn man beim Lieben weint/den anderen zum Weinen bringt, dann ist es keine wahre Liebe. 4- Einbeziehung: Dein Glück ist mein Glück, dein Leiden ist mein Leiden. Keine Trennung zwischen dem Selbst und dem Anderen. Wenn diese vier Elemente vorhanden sind, dann ist es wahre Liebe. Wenn nicht, dann wird es dich und die andere Person leiden lassen."

@FlatlandMando 5 лет назад

Any who have been lucky enough to see an older couple who still are in love have really seen something. Their physical flesh deteriorates together but they don't seem to notice. Here is where you see inclusiveness & no separation. Not everyone has seen this but you can look for it & still find it.

@jayaom4946 4 года назад

Perhaps they grow more in love as their romantic love falls back and the true love comes forward to be the focus.

@Windingify 4 года назад

That's because love, in essence, has nothing to do with age and physical appearances.

@lizxxx5543 8 лет назад

Wait isnt true love like romantic love? I saw them both as the same thing because my partner does all those true love that he said. And my relationship is also romantic as my partner gives me surprises, helps me out a lot, holds me in such gentle way. I mean hes happy when im happy, never hits me makes me cry or yells, hes the kindest person ive met, gives this genuine hug even after arguing... "Your suffering is my suffering" he says it in a diff way "Ill deal with your problems with or for you" & much much more... Too bad i feel like i dont deserve him...

@WhitneyDahlin 8 лет назад

LizXXX that is why. you are suffering in a relationship though you have no reason to suffer. you are suffering because you believe you don't deserve him and one day he will wake up and realize that and leave you. but you do deserve it. you are so caught up in how you feel unworthy. you have to stop focusing on yourself and focus on your relationship.

@Petersonmgee 7 лет назад

You totally twisted her comments. She is in a great place.

@lizxxx5543 7 лет назад

@Caleu who are you to tell me that? I didnt mean i dont deserve him in a bad way. Rather in a good way. Who knows, maybe you're lacking true love?

@MrGunwitch 7 лет назад

Remember that no matter how wonderful a person is, you are both impermanent and one day will be parted. The level of suffering endured in this parting is proportional to the level of 'love' between the people involved. The more 'wonderful' the person, the greater the sense of 'love' and the greater the amount of suffering when it ends. Buddhism is the path to the ending of suffering, it is a path towards more peace and ultimately, cessation. Romantic love is a move toward proliferation and engagement with the conditioned world, which is the antithesis of the Dhamma. So on a mundane level, I would say that you are 'lucky' to have such a wonderful man. I recommend jettisoning these guilty thoughts you have about not deserving him, that is unnecessary suffering and ill-will toward yourself. Understand however, that you will only be together for a finite amount of time so enjoy each moment and be good to one another. Most importantly, try and practice the noble eightfold path together, so that one day you will begin to experience the happiness that comes independent of the exterior world.

@vijayalakshmisrinivasan9131 7 лет назад

MrGunwitch , very wise words. I wish very best to the lady. Best of both worlds.

@FurryAminal 8 лет назад

Romantic love is attached and sentimental, that is why Buddhism does not support it.

@dhammmaraja 6 лет назад

exactly

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

You will never truly love another person with your attitude. You cannot deny love, you must embrace it.

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

Please tell me what the hell you are talking about?

@gymather3097 6 лет назад

read the book 'how to transform your life' by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, it will explain there about desires and attachment

@harrymcnicholas9468 6 лет назад

First of all , it is not about desires but insatiable desires. Desirs that can never be satisfied. You can never be too rich or too slim. There is nothing wrong with the desire to paint, write beautiful music, to find the love to find the love of your life. To have a family. These things are what it means to be human.

@rit3688 4 года назад

Elements of True Love - Kindness, Compassion, Joy and Inclusiveness.

@richiebrovis8737 4 года назад

From my understanding, true love need two elements: 1. Offering free love without the need of return 2. Make you and your partner become better Unfortunately, nowaday romantic love does not impose these two factors. Usually, you love him/her because him/her can satify one or some of your needs. So when you buy him/her a gift, it’s like an investment > you want something from them in return too. And when the return is not what you like, or there is no return at all > you get angry, disappointed > willing to do harm to your partner. Or when someone else offer better return on investment, your love changes. You forsake your current lover and move to the new and better one > that what cheating looks like