Does My Mom Regret Leaving Mormonism? 

I can give you one possible answer to the sex question for teenagers/young adults: if a guy pressures you for sex and you say no and he goes to someone else, he’s basically still pressuring you for sex. He’s not honoring relational boundaries, and he won’t suddenly honor relational boundaries if the two of you get married, and you need to get as far as possible from him. He has showed his true colors early on, and that’s a blessing.

As someone who left a cult, I do want to encourage anyone thinking of leaving that while genuine friendships outside the cult are out there, it can take a while to find them. In other words, if you leave a cult and feel very lonely and are having trouble socializing, that is also normal, however you are not doomed to solitude forever.

If this is the degree the LDS church messes with its members' minds, can you imagine how messed up the women in the FLDS must be? 😭😭😭

The thing I admire most in your mother is that she is careful to express her personal view without discounting the views of others or imposing motives on others with different views.

Your mom has a lot of courage. Much respect for being brave enough to have an open mind to listen to your conscience

I wasn’t raised LDS but our church did something similar we had the little cupcake lesson. And I still wanted it after someone licked it because I wasn’t allowed to have sugar at home but my youth pastor was so upset and said that I was willingly trying to defy God

Real talk. We need more of this open and honest dialogue. These cults permanently damage people.

This hour interview, felt like 15 minutes. So refreshing.

I have a friend who's young son questioned a bishop about the emergency supplies at their LDS church. He thought, at six years old, that the food, water, blankets and clothing could be given to people who needed them now. The bishop responded that those things were emergency supplies for only their ward. This little boy took great issue with that. Out of the mouths of babes.

OBSESSED with your mom! i’m so glad she now gets to wear whatever she wants and explore other practices like yoga instead of being forced to cover up and waste time in the temple. can’t wait for the next ep 🍄 🙏🏽

Shelise, you are doing such extraordinary work. I agree that sexuality is normal and women are sexual beings too. Women certainly should not be shamed for wanting sex, having sex, or being sexual if that is what they want. Their sexuality belongs to themselves also, not to anyone else. Thanks for the talk.

Mama is a strong woman, I'm very grateful she shared her story.

I love the name of your channel. My journey as well. I left Mormonism 16 years ago after a resume that ended with Bishop's counselor and viel worker. Knowing cult influence, I burned my garments 15 minutes after hitting the tipping point, but struggled with other emotional issues. But I didn't feel a second of regret for leaving. Best decision of my life.

as someone who didn’t really grow up in churches or religion, i really appreciate the honesty and thoughts that you and your mom had about the religion and what thoughts would go through your mind during those times. It really is interesting how a womans way into heaven is depended on what she does with her husband or the husbands choices. Especially calling the name part is really odd, the wife could’ve followed the rules her whole life but if her husband didn’t call her name she doesn’t get that? it takes away all autonomy and choices from women and instills fear and shame

I'm Catholic, but I do love listening to your videos and takes on LDS. I had a friend in who was LDS. We became really close. Upon finding out I was Catholic, his parents tried to get me to go to church with them. I was uncomfortable, and declined politely. I almost considered going as a sign of respect for him and his family, but one dinner I was at, his father went into a long discussion on my faith and "do I really know what I believe?" "you don't know the truth" and lots of disparaging things towards me and Catholicism. His mother tried to politely change the topic and get him to stop but he gave her a look...and he continued. I told this man that I'm not here to get into a religious discussion. Especially not at a dinner table. And he kept saying if only I would attention church with them and meet everyone I would "understand". This poor boy was so embarrassed. I tried to stay friendly with him, but that experience scared me. He ended up transferring and the last I heard, he went on a mission and got married quickly upon returning. We used to be Facebook friends, years ago but I ended up deleting him. I'm 32. And this happened when I was 17. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, as I haven't thought about this in SO long, but felt compelled to. Your videos are fantastic to watch. Thank you both.

Exmo here, Really great episode, I sent it to my mom who's been out for a few years now and she absolutely loved it. Two generations of ex-Mormons talking through perspectives is something I'm very familiar with. My extended family, who are still in it, in some cases in organizational leadership roles, they feel really bad for me. I used to feel horrible about this, but as I've un-learned things I was taught, I've started to have a deeper sense of compassion for them.

I lost it when your mom started reading the letter😭 Both of you are so beautiful together.

I'm late to the party, but it's wonderful to see how close you and your mom are. I was raised in a really conservative Baptist church, and I left a few years before my mom. It strained our relationship for awhile, but since she's left the church we've become very close and I love how much she was willing to learn and grow

As someone raised in theJW org, and have recently had a client who spoke of his Mormon background and his desire to change that religion from the inside out.. this was enlightening, and also pretty triggering to me as well. So much to process in my head, but thank you both for sharing. Your relationship is beautiful:)

Your mom is such a strong woman as well as beautiful. I'm envious of your relationship with her but it makes me happy to see genuine friendship like this. Her letter to you nearly made me cry.

As a former Mormon I greatly appreciate you and your mom for speaking out. Much love!

Well, you’ve done it again Shelise. I loved seeing your mom, Lisa, again. 💞

1) Your relationship is beautiful and I think you ladies are leading a great example. 2) How do I get a Tarot reading from your mom? 3) Great points about unconditional love and acceptance. "Why not love them more in this life?" Just goes to show your mom's true nature and instincts.

Your mom is strikingly beautiful and courageous.

I just watched your LA Boda. You are so AMAZING, TALENTED, AND WONDERFUL 😊🎉❤. Your husband and mom too. Thank God you found yourself you're so Strong.❤

When you two were reading the letter and came to the part about shopping all day… when you laughed, Shelise, and said, “That checks out”… The love between you two.. the utter honesty and close relationship… well, it blazed forth. Supernova-like. May it always be so. And thank you for somehow lifting my heart and day.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOUR MOM CHOSE TO KEEP YOU IN HER LIFE. 🙂 MY MOM JUST PASSED AWAY YESTERDAY AFTER DISOWNING ME 5 YEARS AGO FOR LEAVING THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES THAT SHE RAISED ME IN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CHANNEL, IT HAS BEEN A GREAT HELP. MUCH LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR MOM. 🙂

What a beautiful Mom and daughter. That bond is like no other! My daughter and I escaped religion 20 years ago and never looked back. You two have kept kindness and love as the priority. Beautiful, thank you.

Pregnant with my little girl due only weeks from today I totally cried when your mom read that letter. I hope I can have that kind of relationship.

What an incredible lineage of women... grandmother, mother, daughter. Inspiring xxx

I really enjoy listening to your mom. It’s really helping me in my own deconstruction. She is gorgeous inside and out ❤

Your mother is brave and beautiful! Would never have guessed her age. Ex Mormon myself.

Your Mom is lovely, and her journey is so much like mine. I'm 75 this year, and for many years, I have lived with abandonment by my family because I am a liberal, walked away from their church, and been in several marriages because of childhood sexual abuse and teenage rape. In my family if I had sought counseling in the 60's and 70's I would have been considered a nut case. I get depressed at times, but I am clos closer to my creator now and don't go to church. Nature is my chapel. ❤❤❤❤ Thank you for your love and honesty. I turned to tarot card readings through the RU-vid Black and Orange channel.😊❤❤

It’s so mind blowing to me that women are restricted in Mormonism yet a boob job is normal and common. I can’t wrap my head around that. Props to you ladies for being so strong and resilient! 💪🏼❤️

It was very interesting hearing your patriarchal blessing. I use to be Mormon and I remember when I got my patriarchal blessing it was from a man I never met before. What surprised me is before he gave me the blessing he wanted to sit down and chat for a bit about myself. Then when I received the patriarchal blessing I noticed it included stuff about me that we had just talked about. (Also, our conversation beforehand went well so that may have contributed to him telling me in the blessing that I'd be going to the celestial kingdom.)

This was the first episode I’ve seen with your mom and wow. You are both incredible communicators and I feel so much connection to you and your experiences. Thank you so much for sharing these conversations ❤❤❤

Love your mom so much. Love to see her more and hear her opinions.

The point of keeping temples exclusive is: 1. It gives a way to control their members into being "worthy" the way the church wants them to be 2. It gives the members a sense of superiority (even if not consciously) 3. It gives them a sense of exclusivity (like being in any other exclusive club) 4. It's to keep the secrecy of the ceremonies. Cults love secrecy. It keeps both internal and external people off balance. Even the internal people are kept off balance, from your mother's story about being shushed with her questions in the temple, and then denied answers outside the temple. It's all to manipulate human psychology.

I love what Mama said about if you truly believe that your child is living in a way that you won't get to spend eternity with, shouldn't you want to spend as much time as possible with them now before you get separated? And pulling it to the part at the end of people having trouble leaving because of the community, that these people who "love you" will all abandon you. If they believe that you have changed your life in a way that will mean you won't see them for eternity, shouldn't they hold your friendship tighter in this life then? I think if the church took that shame off for people inside to associate with people who left or were never part, I think that shameful restriction would really help alot of people and families to even just lift that one piece. Love listening to y'all chat ♡

Amazing podcast & youtube channel!! Shelise, you are one of my very favorite interviewers and your work is so worthy and inspiring. Your mom and your husband are great too! Keep up the great work!!

I can't imagine being so open with my own mom, expressing what I really think, and suggesting anything contrary to the mormon elephant in the room; like I shouldn't be a detractor to her perseverance in faith. Still not sure if it would be hurtful or healing to have this kind of discussion but I'm relieved she hasn't disowned me. Also I have enough distance from the church that now I can see how quaint it is for a stake patriarch to utter an eloquent blessing that amounts to a seance for god.

I lived in St. George for eight years, and just love that space. The church is huge there, we have two Temples. I have so struggled with all of there issues, being 59 years old. Gowing up under those same ideologies. There is no answer to the correctness of how to manage these inticaciest in relationships. Thank you. I so love you two!!

Your mom’s letter made me cry. You’re very blessed ❤ Love your videos.

I'm so sick of these cults. They have hurt so many people. My wife was a victim of a cult (not LDS) and developed PTSD. Later on it would cause immense problems in our marriage. I live alone right now and haven't seen missionaries in years thankfully!

This is the message I don’t know I needed to hear today. I’m ex-evangelical/fundie etc. I have always related SO MUCH to ex-Mormons and finally figured out why today. Because the Mormon church is large enough to have doctrine written down, it is so much easier to identify than what I grew up in. These beliefs are the same I was taught, completely independent of Mormonism. It’s gotten me thinking. What if the patriarchal/religious practice of shaming women is not broken and is actually functioning exactly as designed? If you want to truly solve a problem, you create safety for and support victims while holding perpetrators responsible. Instead, victims are shamed and blamed and handed the responsibility for anything that happens to them. If you step back and look at it, toxic systems like patriarchy function perfectly. I think shaming the women is exactly the point because it “solves” the problem by shutting victims down and keeping them quiet, which is the solution the toxic system is looking for. It’s the only way to control people on a mass scale is to make them self-police. That’s the point. I view the purity balls as an example of this distorted method of problem solving. It’s all such a mess 🤦🏼‍♀️

Strong Truth! 💚 being on this journey to experience anything &everything you want, finding yourself and finally becoming your authentic self and meeting your soul family along the way! I really enjoy and appreciate you and your mom! Reminds me of my relationship i had with my mom and how grateful i was/am that she was so open to all beliefs. We werent religious but she let me experience and choose for myself what i wanted to believe, I'm very grateful and doin the same for my child. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and helping others to do the same your incredible

Loved this interview! So grateful for you both being so honest and open with your stories!😊

I love your mom, Shelise

LOVE the Linda Listen on this episode!! It is so hard to make new friends outside of the church. I am grateful for all you are doing, and the messages that are being expressed. Your mom is awesome!

Very enjoyable discussion, just discovered this as a link from Mormon Stories and am quite happy that I did. I appreciate the different perspective that you give to discussions. I left the church a while ago and am enthusiastically discovering the support groups that are out there for me.

I firmly believe you are doing what you were told to do. But with open arms and heart and such fabulous intelligence. You are doing so much to bring strength and love to so many folks that got caught up in nonsense. Your Mom is adorable. I left my mother’s dream of church for me at 7yrs old. So I feel the pressure you felt.

Really enjoyed this (love all of your videos) - I have so much respect for your mom and her candour in sharing her experiences.

Your mum's love for you is so sweet and genuine i don't have a relationship with my mum and most of my family just my nan, and that's hard, but I'm glad you both have stayed close and are out of the church and are doing what you both feel is right for you 😊 im binge watching all your videos ❤

I'm so stoked your mom has embraced divination. I find it supremely therapeutic for not only myself but as ways to help my friends too.

Thank you and your mom for telling your stories, it takes a lot of courage to open up the way you do, it means a lot to many of us that have a lot of questions and hearing this very deep conversations give us thoughts to introspect and digest a lot of things. (english is not my first language)

I love listening to you and your Mom! Your openness is so encouraging to me to question things in my life. I admire your courage and strength!!! Thank you for sharing!!

I've watched a lot of your videos without leaving a comment. Just here to say I deeply appreciate what you're doing. As someone who grew up in a catholic fundamentalist house, its feels so comforting to hear stories about people who've lived through something similar. PS: if you dropped videos on your skincare routine I'd watch all pf those too❤

I wish your mom was my mom. She's awesome! (And yes, you're exactly right. That's how many blessings that Patriarch had given when you got yours. Mine was 662 for my Patriarch.)

Your mum is an amazing person. She is SO interesting and her perspective and view of the world from her experience is truly captivating. I hope we see more of her. What an awesome human.

Adore your mom so much she is a breath of fresh air and perspective 💜💜

Your mom is so cool, and you two have such open, honest communication!

Family healing at it’s finest ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤thank you xxx

Your mom is such a beautiful and inspiring woman. I’m so glad you did this with her. Hearing her re-read her letter to you…Omgosh…I’m crying. She’s lovely and you can tell that she genuinely wanted what was best for you and your future. Even if that future is different from what you both saw it to be. Thank you, as always for sharing such personal experiences ❤

What a great relationship!!! I have that with my daughter and feel so blessed. I am an exmo too. Such freedom being out of that cult. Please keep searching for the truth. There is a truth so don't give up! Love you both!

I am watching this thinking how well put together your mother looks. She is beautiful, warm, funny, sweet, and just wonderful. Thanks Mama Bear. I am 52 wishing I looked as well put together as you do.

Shalise.....your mom is very beautiful and i hope she continues to keep telling herself that she is beautiful

I love your mom! She's just gorgeous! I really resonate with her about the 'church'! I, too, was in all the presidencies, and have the guilt feelings for the rules I put on my kids! It is really the hardest part, to me, the things I nagged my kids about! I let the church have WAYYY too much power over me! I feel like I've been finally let out of prison and am trying to navigate my freedom at 60 years old! I'm trying hard to not let the regrets overcome the joy of being free to just BE! Thank you so much! You've been such an inspiration! ❤

I think the whole ("fortune telling") blessing letter came true! You are spiritual, can tell right from wrong and speak out & teach what needs to be said etc!.. ❤

Great second part of interview with your mom. ❤ so glad y’all are still in touch/close.

❤️ the crystals on the table. Rose Quartz is a beautiful addition to consider 😍 love your topics and how well you present. Growing up in this "church" as a woman was sooooo confusing and damaging. It becomes generational but you two show it can be stopped 💗 TY!

I love the relationship you have with your Mom. The letter and blessing were very nice. The blessing is written like it could be a general letter to all women.

Your mom and you have something deeply profound. I'm crying. That was amazing.

Your mother sounds like she is so much fun. I’m happy for both of you in your new lives.

Loved this interview. You two have such a great relationship. ❤❤❤

Hearing your Patriarchal Blessing, if you take out the whole church part, just the you will be blessed with and sharp tongue, strong mind, feel the spirits, go forth and teach and help others... that sounds like it would have been a great and pretty accurate Tarot reading!

Your mom is so great and the relationship you share is lovely.

Just want to say how much I appreciate every video you are making. I left the Mormon Church when I was 18 (Well my parents only made me go to sacrament meeting by the time I was 16) and now, at 39, I'm STILL deconstructing and finding ways that my ways of thinking were warped by that religion. I wish I knew how you guys are attracting friends. I still have trouble finding a community. Not that I had one in the Mormon church, since I was bullied and rejected basically from when I was a child. But outside of my highschool friends my husband and a few close people I've picked up along the way... It's just really tough! Anyway, thank you!

I'm 1 minute in and I just love her whole vibe already. ❤❤❤ Mom is beautiful! 😍

I am watching this video 6 months after it came out but it made me think a lot about my relationship with my parents, my Catholic (with more than a dash of Charismatic Renovation- cult within the church)… but also how similar the belief system is!! The early Catholic Church (1500 years ago) didn’t allow for nonbaptized people to enter the cathedrals. This changed later but that was what the atrium outside of the churches were for. The fact that the concept of sainthood and speaking to God through representatives is also a similar thing, along with all of the ceremonies. I have an exmormon friend who began deconstruction as a phd student researching Latino Catholic beliefs in the southwest…. Sometimes seeing the similarities in different systems makes it easier to question them all (especially if your way is the only one). You and your mom are fantastic and it is truly a treasure to be able to maintain such a warm and strong bond beyond the cultic environment. Sending love and solidarity!

Enjoyed this honest conversation between a mother and daughter, both on their own spiritual journeys.

Wow thank you for another amazing episode especially with your mom, I've had some twinkles in my eyes throughout, I come from a completely different background of "high mandate religions" Yet the similarities are so obvious. it's tough to go through these lifestyle changes even though I'm relatively young, and (your) mom's optimism for future gave me this boost of needed optimism, keep up the good work.

Beautiful chat! Can feel the real.

Love your stories!! Keep up the creative content.

I love watching the special relationship you have with your Mom!

Love your coverage on Mormonism Shelise! I can attest to the disastrous outcomes that result from trying to follow a patriarchal blessing as though it was revelation from God. Made a lot of poor life altering decisions, as did my brother, trying to live my life according to my fraudulent blessing. If I could encourage members to do one single thing it would be to abandon the practice of receiving patriarchal blessings!

when you read the patriarchal blessing and said it was somewhat triggering, I felt that in my soul. phenomenal discussion. And the ending was awesome with your now-husband jumping in with his coffee.

Wow! Great talk. Thank you.

"Tap into your intuition" absolutely love that one! ❤

This is beautiful. Even if i knew nothing about your past, i see a mom owning her mistakes, admitting she wasnt perfect, and i see a daughter accpeting but not ignoring the wrong that was done to her and i see forgiveness. I was never part of a cult, but i had a toxic religious family and later a tpxic misogynistic family and through you, i felt seen, and i sqw a glimpse of forgiveness and hope in my future. thank you.

This was such a great interview. I enjoyed listening to all of it. Your mom was and is a fantastic beautiful mom, and you are a wonderful and beautiful daughter and wife, and you're both doing so much to elevate consciousness in a beautiful feminine way. THANK YOU!!!👏👏☕😎❤️👍🎉

53:37 I have been a part of southern baptist churches, Pentecostal churches and non-denominational churches and none of them have done this “patriarchal blessing.” That is SOOO bizarre to me for them to tie that into the Bible.

Just blessed to see such compatibility between mom and daughter. How can you guys talk this way?! Just plain wonderful. Rare. By the way this is what is asked of an entire India not just your religion. That’s 2billion or so.

well done another fun episode!

One time my sensei told me not to wear tank tops under my gi because my collar bones could be distracting to guys. I said that sounds like a them problem, not a me problem. Then I told his wife and I never heard him complain about my undershirt choices again.

Oh my god, your mom talks from her heart, true respect for you.

Kudos. For sure, it takes courage to question, investigate 🔎 and search for truth. You may find it interesting that "the independent investigation of truth" is a basic principle of the Baha'i Faith.

I love Lisa!!! Shelise your Mom is the best I'm from her generation (born in '61) but I left "the church" in 1978 with no qualms I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord & Savior in between baptism and confirmation. But this lady saw it through to even after temple marriage 😲 what a WONDERFUL LADY!!!

LOVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM...My daughter & I have a cool, honest & FUN relationship too! THX for this & the other vid with your Mom👩‍👩‍👧‍👦👨‍👨‍👧‍👧👨‍👨‍👧...All The Best

I love your Mom! Such truths! ❤️❤️❤️

Your mom is amazing! 🤩 I have to think that people who distance themselves from family/friends who have "strayed from the path" believe that the pain of separation will pull those loved ones back onto the supposed "righteous path." I simply cannot wrap my brain around any other reason to cut someone you love out of your life and cause both of you so much pain.