To me marrying my Filipina 5 years ago has been a blessing and an amazing experience and she is totally devoted to me as I am to her, I am in this to death do us part because I worked towards it being this way. I dated many girls before her and learned what I wanted and what to see in my future wife, it has benefitted me marrying way more than not. What you are talking about is two people not in love or have fallen out of love, my wife is my sole mate we have no intention of changing anything that has given us this love . after 5 years together we are exactly the same and money is never an issue between us or her family. I have 3 daughters from a previous marriage in Australia, I have made sure they are ok financially , so as far as I am concerned Sarah deserves what we have built together. If you marry a Filipina for the right reasons and always do the right thing by her she will have no reason to change in a bad way and she will always do good by you.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 What contract ? I never signed any contract, I never mentioned anything about a contract. I want her to have everything when I go in the end
Your case is a wonderful thing. But not all women are going to be faithful (not just sexually) and are trustworthy. We men cannot read their minds. Women can be very crafty is concealing their intentions. What if we are wrong about their true intentions? If we are wrong and trust them we will pay dearly if we take them to the USA and risk divorce court.
@@craigsphilippines466 According to Church teaching marriage is a covenant, designed to create families, which is irrevocable and which has the elements of a contract. Each spouse promises certain rights to the other. So in that sense it is a contract. Ex., According to Church Canon law a couple cannot be married if either is incapable of sexual relations and neither can deny sexual relations permanently to the other. Temporary continence is of course permitted. Therefore, each spouse has the right to the body of the other through sexual relations. You may not have understood marriage this way but according to Catholic theology and Canon law this is true. So Paul is right in this sense, that you agreed to the nuptuals at the wedding and you agreed to the marriage when you said "I take thee for my wife." Marriage is a contract in which you provide certain rights to your spouse.
We men get married again for the following reasons: When you get sick with diabetes in your old age that women you married will take care of you especially when your diabetes is chronic, you get married again to end your loneliness to have partner. Its not always about the money or material things. So if my filipina takes good care of me then leaving her with material wealth is no problem. Most of these women are good sometimes the problem can be with we the men but we can fail to recognize our problems.
And right , its not always about money .. mostly we need also a man who love and care and make us feel that I am important in their life as a partner a better half .
@@paulsasianadventure8050 if i am the woman and single i will never live with the guy without marriage...i will find another man that willing to marry me...for filipinas marriage is a very important thing in their life...
Good one paul...where do i start. I married a filipina 12-22-18..things started off great..well now this is my humble 2 cents worth there is divorce in the Philippines...lol for me simple I'm an American i have like 180 countries i can go to (pre covid) anyway i really care about my wife it's just she wants all the things i wanted when I was her age(37) I'm 64 i get it. She is at a friend's house for now. We get along no big fights or anything like that. I came to the Philippines in 2018 permanently in 11-7-19 i took early retirement. My retirement is small but i live well. Budgets are like assholes everyone has one.. i planned well came here with access to 22,000,000 pesos (459,000)usd.guess what i still have it. I'm not going back to the states ever again. Plus i have no desire to be married again. I dont need a woman to live...now i figure anything or anywhere i go it now costs me half as much...lol. but your right good topic. I worked 45 years of my life not to make babies or support her family.sorry just my two cents worth.
Enjoy your retirement. Not everyone is the same. We’ve been married for almost 21 years we have 2 beautiful children, 18 and 15 years old. No prenup. We own 3 Condos in Manila (1 Studio unit is for sale right now) and a big house, lots of acres in one of the islands in the Phil’s... when someone is 60 to 75 years old PLEASE don’t come to the Phil’s and marry someone who is 20 -25 years old and expect more from them.
U really don't need to feed your fil wife families not all are alike .. pasalubong ,Xmas gift or birthday gift is enough long as u have something to offer..its a way of caring as Philippines is family oriented people.
Marriage is not for people who are not ready for lifetime commitment.I am a Filipina married to a fellow Filipino.My friends and I had been married for 28 years and aboveto our husbands who are also fellow Filipinos.None of my friends of the same age group had been separated from our spouses. If you are someone who cannot live without your spouse then it means marriage is for youThis might not work for all people.Some people are simply not cut out to be married.In my case my husband and I have nothing to complain.We are just happy to be around each other growing old together knowing each other inside and out.Your failed relationship with a Filipina is not applicable to everyone.
"I want someone who values me more than his money " I'm guessing by the video, and most of the comments, you should stay away from expats. Money and options seem more important than any relationship. Good luck
I agree with you .. married is important.. I’m married to a foreigner for 38 years his older than me for 9 years he loves my family and I love my his family too we are both happy till now . I des agree living with a man without married I’m a Christian and I was brought up like that ..
Here in the USA, its more like the woman gains 140lbs, not 40lbs after marriage. No reason to get married at all for men. Just take care of your gf while you are together, try to improve her life, give 100% and enjoy the good times.
Having lost millions in my first marriage divorce, I now have PTSD about getting re-married. Me being older , no young beautiful filipina will hook up with me unless I am marriage minded. Not wanting to lead her on and eventually hurting her feelings, it puts us in an uncomfortable situation of choosing from 2 undesirable options.
Not meaning to be a cynic, but getting them a life insurance policy creates a temptation. If the relationship starts to go rocky you better sleep lightly.
I'm 62 and retired and financially stable. I too was divorced. I've been told I'm still attractive, however, my reluctance to even date American women is because I've been with enough of them to know what's coming. I know we'll become attached and she'll eventually push for Marriage...without...fail and it's game over. Therefore, I feel like what's the f'n point? Marriage is one big throw men under the bus sh*t-sandwich, but, I still love women. Like you said...it's a rock and a hard place choice for men. Oh well...
FYI, divorce is allowed in the Philippines. Called a Muslim divorce & it's legally recognized. Not well known outside of Mindanao, where the majority of Phils Muslims reside. There are lawyers who specialize in getting it for non-Muslims. It can be tricky & requires faith conversion(on paper) but it's doable. I speak from experience
Marriage is a 3 ring circus .....first there is the engagement ring , then there's the wedding ring ......then there's the suffering ..... Been single most of my life except for 3 years of my life in my early 20's ....been happy and single for 35 years now ...
A couple of things to add, along with some experience. First I spent 19 years in a bad marriage with a woman who was abusive to me, but when she started in on my daughter, I left and gained full custody. I will not marry someone without first living with them for at least a year. Now I have a close family member who just went through something like this in Guatemala. He was married there and lived there for a couple of years. He NEVER brought his wife to the US and therefore the marriage was NEVER recognized by the US. Therefore according to several American divorce lawyers, they do not have to go through the process of a divorce in the US. To me, that would be the advantage to marrying there as opposed to a fiance visa. I have traveled and lived in 18 countries before I found out what was going on in my home. My family member can not go back to Guatemala and remarry but he don't care. Now if the Philippines is your only destination then just don't get married. Just my 2 cents but you have an excellent vidoe
I think that's bad advice for Americans looking at a Filipina. US gov website specifically states that it fully recognizes marriages with US citizens in the Philippines. That's why once you marry in PH you can immediately apply for relative visa to bring her to the US.
If you're mindsets about marriage is only about your own "BENEFITS" then you are not a husband material type of guy. Women in Philippines are dreaming of marrying a real man who can take care of them and give value to them and having kids and happy family if you can't then your not a husband type material. If you want a good wife then try the Filipino way find an educated one or an independent working one if not educated at least a good breeding one a good family background I mean a simple courting some women to know each other and not showing your fucking dollars which mostly foreigners do. Then choose the one who loves the way you are and not your dollars.
If you feel the need for children and to have a family, it need to be early in life when young, but expect a high cost and massive lose of freedom. I believe children have a right to be born and brought in to a family of positive care givers.. Marriage has costs and not just financial.
Agree 100%. Why would a man get married now a days? I personally went thru a very costly an bitter divorce, never ever ever again. Your video should be a must watch every 6 months! 😊
Great video Paul, I have never been married and never will be. I have worked hard all my life and the thought of handing some woman half of my wealth has never appealed to me. I have also noticed that most of my married friends are miserable! Why would anybody choose to be miserable.
Here’s the thing they tell you that they’re happy and you should get married and have kids while you both know if they could do it over again they’d not get married. I honestly can never understand these I’m so lonely I need a woman type guys like are they losers or what ?
Well, guys its your choice ... Just remember not all people in Philippines if you marry to them are miserable . Just take care always guys . . And be happy always life is beautiful God bless ❣️
May men have been fooled into the lies of happily ever after & most men won’t admit it, but you will see it on their faces & notice that every time, they will have to ask permission to do, buy, or go anywhere from their wives; beta males, so sad..😞
Its a two way street...most women are looking for love, commitment and security from a man. From a women's perspective marriage represents those things. IF you do find a woman that ticks all the boxes then that is when its decision time. Some may try to postpone or avoid the issue but eventually it will come down to either a yes or she'll be be movin on.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 My take on a serious relationship with a women. Lease with the option to buy. I was married for 21 years, been single since 2006. I enjoy being single but for the most part (until the final 2 years) I also enjoyed marriage. So when Phil's opens up I'll be retiring on a SRRV visa and looking for a lease with option to buy.
To be honest, if you've been divorced 3 times mate, the common denominator is you!! The other side of the coin is would you get involved with any woman who had been divorced 3 times? It wouldn't just be no, but hell no. Come on, where's the difference?
Relationships ending is inevitable it just depend on the timeframe. Men aren't made to be monogamous long term. Do some research and you'll see. By all means get married and when she takes half of your assets, I'll wish you luck.
"She gains 40 pounds after marriage". Brother, so true. I lost track of how many times i have seen that happen to guys who brought a filipina to the US. i have been around hundreds of them and been to many big filipino get together s over the years and watched filipinas get bigger and bigger and their new husband get sadder and sadder. The diet and lifestyle messes up a lot of them in the us. They think they have arrived and made it and can eat whatever and as much as they want. Plus the fast food portion sizes and sodas are made for much bigger Americans. Just another reason i won't bring a filipina to the states.
I married my wife who is from China. I feel closer to her since we’re married. My love has grown since then. Marriage isn’t all bad. I had my share of bad one
The benefit of Marriage is to have a union under God on the path to heaven. If your intentions are true God will protect you. What are true intentions under God? To honour God To Honour your parents To procreate for humanity to thrive If you are getting married to use a woman for sex or to stimulate your ego, you are destined to fail.
How about for companionship? And as far as procreation, the Earth is overpopulated. We don't need to try hard to keep humanity thriving. But my comments are tongue in cheek. I have 4 children, including an adult child, and my Pinay is 25 and wants at least two. Pray for me. But my intentions are true, so I fear not.
You're definitely a very good husband sir, married to a very good and loving Filipina, that's why you're marriage REALLY WORKED! I salute you, and congrats for your happy 😊 marriage!
Paul, I like your honesty. I don't expect my Filipino wife to equal my income. What she brings to the table is love and total commitment to the relationship. She will work if I ask her to. She cleans and cooks and gives me unconditional lovemaking. No Western women "P " games. My ex European French wife was materialistic and only looking for my money. What a Filipina ask for is about 5000 pesos($100.00) a month to help her family is a small ask if you ask me. Monetarily We will never be equal, but that is not what you should value the relationship on. PS..you can divorce in the USA if you marry in the Philippines, and this came straight from the Filipino judge's mouth.
One insane truth I'll take to my grave is knowing there's men out there that will enter into a legal contract with a woman they know will be rewarded by breaking it. I'm here in the States and feel a bifurcated sensation of both sadness and extreme relief when I see the married guy pushing the stroller with that patented "thousand yard stare" that screams, "what have I done?"...dutifully following behind his overweight, smug-faced wife.
Thats exactly what is wrong currently in the west women are rewarded to do the "wrong" thing, breaking families and leading to a bunch of single Mums and all the societal problems that entail. Great comment John
Great points. In the Philippines don’t buy anything, including women. Only rent. If the woman can’t behave you can ditch her in 5 minutes and get another girl the next day. If you are married then it might take 10 years to offload her and at great cost too. You could be completely ruined financially.
Marry a woman with virtue regardless where she came from. and one has to know what's marriage is all about. "Marriage, then, is a creative work. Both parties must labor to make a beautiful marriage. The wreckage of the miserable marriages we see all about us today is due mainly to this: that one or the other or both parties did not know - or did not have the maturity or psychological freedom to act upon this knowledge - that to make a marriage work means to work at making a marriage"
True. But the problem is deeper than that. The institution of marriage and the family has been under attack for decades by numerous forces that conspire to destroy marriages or make them less stable. No fault divorce, the sexual revolution and promiscuity, access to contraception, pornography, etc.
@@michaelk969 that's why I said marry a woman with virtues, but mostly these women holds a conservative view on marriage, family and moral issues they are difficult to find in our secular world where everything is disposable. The problem you've mentioned are called vices which can only be countered by virtues. With regards to the video, one can easily see red flags in a relationship but hardly being confronted until it's too late. Like it or not when you marry someone you marry the family as well. My sister was married to a foreign diplomat for 20 years but we as siblings never took advantage of my sister's marriage to a foreign diplomat. We treat our brother in law like a regular fellow not a gold mine because it's immoral to take advantage of someone regardless of race, age and status.
The advantage for the man is to make the wife happy and secure, you bring up very good points everything is relevant. I was married to a Persian woman and we started great and finished on the bad ending. She kept spending my money and I couldn’t make her happy. It’s a complicated culture to adjust to. Now you’ve convinced me marriage isn’t my final goal at my age 67 years old.
I would say YOU ARE RIGHT in the Philippines.. but "If" you find a business woman or educated professional woman "In THAILAND".. who treats you great.. she will continue to treat you great.. they don't change their stripes. (*** All bets are off if you're with a sexy woman 20 years younger or if she worked in a bar)
Paul, I have to fully agree with all that you said today and I also experienced a bitter end to a 27 year marriage through the court system. The last 10 years was extremely toxic and financially devastating. I didn’t want it to end but it did. I’m now single and happy but did have a relationship in Thailand continuing back in Australia but this was just an endless money pit as I ended up with again with someone who was pressured to support her family. I was able to settle this and now so scarred I avoid any dates. I have returned to my profession and have rebuilt my life both financially and mentally but still hope for a partner in my twilight years, in particular would like to travel back to PH when possible but with my eyes open this time but at 53 I should know the facts and you have clearly stated them today. Thanks for saying what many wouldn’t Paul. Kudos to you. Best wishes from Melbourne this morning to you and Mia
Thank you for telling the truth about marriage in the Philippines. Marriage only benefits the Filipino women because you become trapped in that relationship. The financial difference is enormous because the Filipino women provides very little income. Remember a Filipino women’s loves her family, friends, country first and you will always be second. Great story and fantastic video. 🙏
My fiancee is a pinay ,we need to get married because we might sin , because we are living together in one condo, its the sin of fornication sex without marriage
DEAR PAUL YOU ARE A VERY WISE GENTLEMAN. WOMEN NOWADAYS DO NOT APPRECIATE PEOPLE LIKE US. WE ARE LIKED FOR THE INITIAL PERIOD OF THE MARRIAGE BUT EVENTUALLY FADES AWAY SO WE MEN FOUND OURSELVES IN DISADVANTEGEOUS POSITION. WE MEN CANNOT BE STACKED IN ONE WOMAN ALL OUR LIFE. MUSLIMS MAY BE RIGHT HAVING MORE THAN ONE PROVIDING THEY CAN MAINTAIN THEM. YET MARRIAGE IN 21ST CENTURY HAS LOST ITS VALUE. MONEY PLAYS A GREAT ROLE IN WOMEN TO DECIDE FOR THEIR LIFETIME PARTNER. IF I HAD THE POWER I WOULD ABOLISH MARRIAGE PERMANENTLY OR MAKE IT LIKE EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT ONE YEAR OR TWO YEARS ETC CONTRACT. CHILDREN BE ABLE TO BE TAKEN CARE BY THE COVERNMENT. I KNOW CHURCH PEOPLE WILL DISAGREE WITH ME BUT IF YOU LOOK THE RATE OF DIVORCE ALL OVER THE WORLD YOU ARE SHOCKED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE. PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
I am happily married in Thailand and yes, I have a pre-nup. I've been watching these videos about the Philippines because a lot of expat stories are similar and interesting. Also, I often see expats remark about how the Philippines is preferable, in part, because everyone speaks English. I can understand that but learning about marriage in the Philippines puts a whole new light on the situation. If a westerner chooses not to get married that is up to them. If the girl wants to get married it is her choice to decide to leave the relationship. That is really the "risk" that you take. That she will walk away. Part of the competition, as you put it, is that there are other fish in the pond. The lack of divorce in the Philippines is a game changer. Also, the criminal laws against infidelity is a huge factor as well. Even if you are not married your future is at risk if you are with a girl who conceals her past. My wife and I are building a house in the countryside. I abide by the knowledge that you don't invest in anything that you wouldn't walk away from. I could survive the loss of the house. For me, her signing a pre-nup and my building her a house is a fair exchange. Also, even if we split and I kept the house what would I do with it? Do I want to be the only foreigner in her home village? I don't think so. I wouldn't want the house in that circumstance. We all have different past experiences to build on. To each his own.
Men love women, women love kids and wait at the finish line to collect the winner. I won't play that game. No rings, babies or buying houses. This means no girl either. How much for a live-in lover on no strings terms?
Hi Paul I have review many RU-vid channels the last year from the Philippines. This week I decided to reduce down to the top five. You and Mia provide some of the best knowledge for culture/living in the Philippines. When making choices in life there has to be benefits for me to make a change. Single and very happy. Yes, your both in the top five.
How many of your assets will your beloved filipina get "by law" after you died unexpected? - Zero! - And that is a serious topic every responsible foreign "boyfriend" should think about. It is not allways about you and the "if married"; it is also about her and the "if not married". - Correct? If you're a foreigner and already retired and living a nice life in the Philippines on your monthly pension, how much of that pension will your filipina get - after you died - and if she wasn't married to you? Even if you've written your "last will", all of your (!) relatives - in the country where you are from - will come first when it comes to the inheritage. And in the worst case there is not a single dollar left for her. But, if she is married to you, then her financial situation - after you died - is secured, because then she will come first when it comes to the inheritage. In my opinion that is a valid point "pro marriage" and shouldn't be ignored. I know a case where a 72-years old foreigner (in the Philippines) died, after he and his filipino partner lived together a happy life in Cagayan de Oro for more than 19 years. They were not married, and obviously he and she have never thought about the "her life after his death" topic. Well, of course there was a "last will", but even a last will cannot outsmart the law. And by law, all his relatives have come first and got their part of his assets, before she came. All what was left for her, was the 19 years old furniture. She was forced to go back to poverty and a life in the squatter area, while his relatives have inherited assets and properties worth round about $500,000. So, the valid question is: "How can you secure your filipina's financial situation for the case you die?" - And obviously many expats in the Philippines just don't care about that. They just enjoy their lifes in the Philippines, and they use their filipino girlfriends as sex-tools; replaceable whenever they want. No responsibility needed. These type of expats are never in a serious relationship; they just live together with their filipino toy for a limited time span without that they would have to take any kind of serious responsibility. And that is one of the reasons why so many expats prefer a much younger filipina, because these young girls are still too naive and do not have the life experience (unlike her foreign boyfriend). Easy to take advantage. So, what could be done instead of a "Marry her in the Philippines"? - Well, for example marry her in an other south east asian country where a divorce is no problem. You can register that marriage in the Philippines and she will be secured when it comes to an inheritage, while a legal divorce - in that other country - is still possible. The bottom message is: "Be a responsible foreign boyfriend and secure your beloved filipina's financial situation for the case you die." - If married or not; find a solution. After being your loyal partner for many years she deserves that. She is not your toy! @Paul - What will you do, to secure Mia's life, for the case you unexpected die? Have you ever thought about that?
Paul is pushing and teaching her probably to go to nursing school. That can give her the financial security on her own for life. Those who just like to do nothing are the ones who will go back to misery!
Very good points that I did not cover. Thanks you gave me an idea for a video. Would love to have a discussion with you about this on video, you up for that bud?
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Yes, it could be a good topic for one of your future videos. Here's a very interesting link (no virus) ... lawyerphilippines.org/2019/02/08/compulsory-heirs-under-philippine-law/ That website shows you how complicate the whole topic is. Thank you for inviting me to a video chat, I appreciate, but I'm not "available" for videos. It's just not really my thing. But thank you.
Hey Paul my friend, I have no answers as well. I'm still trying to find some answers. The advice you gave is spot on. Thank you for sharing this awesome video my friend. Please stay safe and healthy.
Hello,Hello I am married for 52 years to the same man. We both need each other. He could not do well without me. I never demanded anything because we both had nothing. We had children and there doing well. We had our hard times but we worked it out. We are not people that that want to much . We are happy that we have enough to cover our needs and more. We can take a yearly holiday. Also in these days you don’t need to get married. A couple after 1 year is automatically have the same rights as a married couple. If that ring is a sign a security than there are problems already.
Hello Paul🤗. This is a very thought eye opening topic for me and it’s a reality that in this present age, men tend to lose out their years of hard earned assets to the woman who will change after getting married. I amnot married but have been a hopeless romantic man who still dreams of marriage since high school. I have seen my married friends who sometimes advises me to remain single after seeing their differences came up with their partner afterwards after marriage. No one wants to be Lonely as the song says. I guess it’s a choices of what we prepared to lose.. a comfortable life of being free to do what we want or have a partner but with consequences for a longtime. I would still try to retire in the Philippines 🇵🇭 when the time comes😄. Thank you Paul for many of your thoughts enlightening videos. 🙏🏻🤗Take care be safe Always👍🏻🙏🏻.
women have all the benefits of marriage and none of the risks. Men have all of the risks and none of the benefits. Make women a complement to your life, not the focus of it --- Richard Cooper
Wow! Thanks so much for your content, I feel that I've learned alot. I love your stocks analogy with regards to marriage. Can you please confirm what you mean with regards to wheat instead of real estate? Cheers pal Thanks for your amazing content.
Excellent video! I watched a lot of different bloggers, but this one hit a nerve! The knowledge was impeccable! My head is spinning a bit. Some of the comments here are excellent too!
What are her options, she can put up with Paul's non-marriage stance, or she can go back to the province, to work 12 hours a day as a maid or caregiver, for $0.50 (fifty cents) per hour!
@@walkerskii The young woman is not naive . They both are together equally beneficially. There’s nothing wrong with conditional love if that’s what both aspire to have .
@@robbyrose6904 Robbie how do you know she is not naive? I've been following Paul for a year, I notice she's idealistic & hoping he'll change his mind about marriage & children. She is very young & innocent, ahe has very little life experience & not much in the way of other options.
Never buy more house in the Philippines than you are willing to walk away from. From the beginning think of it as a gift to your bride. Renting is great but as in most Spanish based cultures the wife thinks little of a man that can not afford his own home. If you separate she will keep the home and settle for nothing more if there is a prenup.
Excellent video. Really got me thinking 🤔 especially the story you told . Highlighting the difference between the rich and the poor . Thanks Paul . Have a great weekend.
Thank you for this video Sir.. Im Filipina, i have a stable job.. I earned money on my own.. My friends always told me maybe my True love is in Western country not Pinoy., because im 38 already. I told them, NO there not looking for True love, the're looking for companion in life.. And yeah i am right.. ..Thank You and Godbless!!!
The algorithm has led me to another binge-watching channel! Someone, you know well!! Both are very informative!! I've been in an LDR for 6 yrs. I learn so much, thanks!!!
Interesting video Paul.. "red pill" all the way. There's one factor : many expats get the bottom of the barrel when it come to companionship, thus the 10 fold disparity. You are lucky as you have a very good partner, smart and resourceful, but I see some of your friends, who I will not name, who do go for certain quality that leaves a lot to be desired... It's all about being selective.
Great video. I was married before in the states and have been dating a Filipina for the last 7 years. Marriage is in the future but there hasn’t been pressure yet to do so. We have discussed a prenup where anything we acquire or I earn with my BPO from my days in Cebu will go to her but any assets acquired in the US prior will go to my kids. My advice is don’t rush into marriage and be open about your intentions. Too many foreigners come to the Philippines and find a young and beautiful Filipina and rush into things. Horror stories which are rare, do exist. Also if you marry or live there my advice is to live simply. Do things as opposed to have things. Good luck.
I enjoy your videos very much. I have an oddball observation: I can't see you without seeing Christoph Waltz! You probably get that a lot. You even sound like him. Keep putting out the good stuff, my friend.
I’ve never been married, no kids and I just moved to the Philippines. Getting married here is not my intentions. I’m using this as an opportunity to save up money and invest. I’ve heard the horror stories here and if need be I’ll date outside the Philippines. So far life is good.
Got married to my philippina wife in 1984 in the philippines and we have been married for 40 years in November. You have to give and take to make it work.
I agree with what you said up to around the 18 min mark. After the good reasons you mentioned for not marrying why consider bringing someone from SE Asia to "the west"? Between her possible westernization and age gap the risk/reward ratio would be worse. A pre-nup might help but why put yourself in a situation where you might still need lawyers, still cost you $$$, stress and possible heartache in the 1st place?
Agree. Great video by Paul, but marriage anywhere is a horrible concession unless the man is truly desperate to have a family at any cost to his finances and emotional health. The ladies who don't want the kids are after the green card, often they are Uni grads, and will monkey branch in 3 years if not sooner. Being snipped is just as important as any pre-nup. What's yours is hers and what's hers is hers in divorce. Peace.
I got married to avoid deportation from Japan. I wanted to stay here so that’s what I did. I think it’s a pretty good reason. In fact my partner and I were already engaged at that time but that did create a deadline. I had been arrested for a minor, green, thing and was going to be deported. We now have two beautiful boys so things are going well. I don’t pretend that they are perfect but they are going pretty well. My partner and I are both pretty laid back and optimistic sort of people. I think that’s essential. Thanks for your content.
@@paulsasianadventure8050 You don't have to check out the book, Paul. Just type "Helen Smith Interview" in RU-vid and you'll see her review the tenets of her book. She's an amazing woman who lays bare the truth about what a sh*t deal marriage is for Western men.
@@mister_vegas Yeah, but it's still exotically refreshing to watch RU-vid videos of her interviews...actually seeing a sane, intelligent and surprisingly attractive hetero woman lay bare the truth.
Because when I died several times I came back and was completely blind she watches over me she takes care of me she’s my eye dog guess what I am lost my vision back she still my eye dog she won’t let me do anything that she’s not sure that I’m safe. I’m an ex pro WWE wrestler I know how to fight I know how to take care of myself I’m 6 foot four I weigh 325 pounds and I don’t have a lot of fat. And that girl protect me better than I could ever protect myself so those are my reasons why getting married is a good thing.I wish you the best and I hope someday you can find somebody who makes you feel happy as happy as I do with my life and my families and all my relationship and not think what makes you take away from me. Because what she takes away for me will never be as much as I would lose without her
@@rasputinswalloper475 Honestly I don’t type it I can’t see very well so that’s why sometimes the words don’t look like they’re supposed to there’s a voice to text you can push on the button and it takes what I say and put it on print but no I don’t type it out myself I try to re-remove things that came across wrong but a lot of times you’ll see that what I’m saying it doesn’t always make sense but it’s not because I didn’t say it correctly it’s because it typed it differently than what I stated I do apologize for that because that happens often and I really wish I did but it does yeah and I’m OK on a laptop because I can make the print large But I’m hoping with another year I should have my big impact on up where I can wear glasses pray and hope anyway
SOrry to hear about your porbs,I am so glad your wife stuck around, just so you know many woman disappear once there is nothing to gain from the man, you are one of the lucky ones. Having said that, if you were not married to her, would she not have stuck around also?
@@paulsasianadventure8050 Thank you actually I don’t think you’re a bad guy I just think you’re jaded like a lot of guys are in this world unfortunately and I think highly of you mainly because of your girl because as nice as she isn’t as grumpy as you sound and she hangs around one of the two of you are doing it right so I’m very proud of you
Sometimes the brother is not the brother. I went to the philippines to meet my fiance and was introduced to the brother who later turned out to be the 25 yr younger boyfriend. The whole family was in on it and knew the whole purpose was to scam the foreiner. I learned my lesson the hard way and would never do it again.
When the haves mingle with the have nots, the have nots devise thousands of ways to become haves. I know I have worked hard to be a have, what if you want to be somebody and there are no jobs? What would you do if you lived in a bamboo shack and when it rained you could not stay dry? You become desperate.
Video was very good and on point right up until the last minute where he said he might bring his current GF back to west and marry her. Will be the exact same mistake he made before IMO. Another thing -- you guys over 50 need to stop kidding yourselves, too. When your early 20s GF gets to the west where 90 percent of men aren't in poverty shes upgrading to the 28 year old version of you quickly. Im all for age gap relationships but be reasonable. Most girls in their early 20s will want kids with a healthy man with years in front of him, regardless of what they tell you. In the west all the cards will be in her hands with a massive incentive to upgrade from you. Most filipinas will be in the top 20 percent of desirable women in the west just off of being skinny and friendly. Even the sweetest girl is designed to survive and practice hypergamy if its an option.
Paul, this is your best video, ever. I had ALL my single gentleman friends watch it....the women will hate it but I have so many single ladies tell me that the men in their lives will cement a strong relationship, but not to commit to marriage.
I understand what you are saying 100%, and i agree. What benefit does the man actual get from getting married, and the answer is there is none unfortunately. Whether a man gets married in the West like the USA or in the Philippines, he actually loses or gives up so much while the woman gains so much from a marriage. If a man gets married in the USA, and then he gets a divorce, the laws on the books, the court system or judicial system as it applies to child support and alimony, the majority of the time the judge will side with the woman. And if you get married in the Philippines, the Western man or American, or foreigner will most likely have or bring so much more assets and money to the table or all of the assets in the marriage he will bring to the table, whereas the Filipina maybe poor or in extreme poverty. So in both cases the man has everything to lose, but nothing to gain in a marriage! You have made a valid point!
glad it worked out for you. i have been with the same woman (western) for 25 years, and have stuck it out. she has been ill for 15 years or more, and believe me it is not a good marriage. no love no sex, just work
Paul have really enjoyed watching all your current vloggs.Now watching some older ones.i am an optimistic guy by nature.57 in good shape as was gym instructor many years.I intend after lockdown to visit Ph & consider more time there.I unfortunately have to agree with most if not all you speak about.Took me along time to recover fianancially & longer emotionally from my divorce. I am happy there a balanced guys like yourself to give me reality checks on dating & living in ph..Please continue with your honest opinions about life there. I wont be surprised to "bump" into you there at some time.Nice 1
Your paranoid about getting married in the Philippines so far the best decision I’ve made so far however being married to a traditional lady ! I wonder if you will say the same thing after being with Mia for year hopefully u don’t break her heart and vice versa if you don’t marry her , because she’s being more confident if you don’t give her what she wants and or needs she may find someone who will give her what she wants as a stepping stone up to something better so you may lose too ! However your right about dangerous situations so hopefully her family has better morals with less dangers ! I remember the look on Mias face when she was asked about getting married! Your arguments are very factual however you may loose the love of your life which you may regret ,life’s a gamble as we both know since we both have been divorced before!
One of your best vids Paul. Thank you. Please share with your viewers what mistakes you made in the past as it relates to marriage with a Filipina. Thanx again. From USA
I understand and think your risk analysis is spot on. I’m also that guy that got married after living in PHL with my GF living part time in PHL for 4 years prior to marriage. The final reason that you stated is what applies to me. I want to bring my wife back to USA with me and traveling other countries where entrance will be easier as a married couple with same last names and eventually USA passports. I have not bought a house or condo and agree renting is a better option but if I buy something it will be my loss should our relationship fail. I’m ok with that and will always keep my assets protected in the USA. As you know assets can and should always be diversified and protected. Btw, starting a new family and raising more kids at 50 or over is not my thing. My wife has a daughter and I’ll be happy to provide for her college and future as I did with my children from my first marriage. But like you Paul, I stay fit and refuse to limit my adventures with young children. My wife gets me and supports my addition to cycling, tennis, golf, and of course lifting weights.
Yeh hey I'm filipina 44 year's old and never been married since birth . LoL 🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆 If I will Marry I will protect my husband caused 2 became 1 if I marry my husband belong to me and he belongs to me. It's depends the woman u got if u got woman from bar then u have terrible crazy life here Philippines, but if u choose godly woman then u have good life here Philippines. Choose wisely. Either bad or good. Anywhere in world there's bad or good wife even though in western or in Asia.
Thanks for the reality check Paul. I'm looking to create a family, and I'm more and more convinced that marriage is completely unnecesesary, even if you have kids.
Married for 8 years now and life has been wonderful. She has supported me and been helping me grow and become successful. We are in the US so we don't have problems of living in the Philippines
First time watch this guy’s video. I like this guy so much. Awesome advice for all men. I am sure it applies to all of us in the USA and rest of the world. I wish my dad would teach me when I was younger 😂
@Paul I know in you and Mia's last videos I suggested "putting a ring on her". After listening to this video I get your point a bit better, this is basing said relationship souly on the fact that a marriage is a business transaction. Emotions are and should be an important part of every relationship but I also feel that the legality of a relationships ramifications are equally important. Thanks for another great video
If ever I'd get married I'd ask my fiance to write her own pre nup and then discuss it in detail how she justifies it, at least then you both can agree on what's fair and since she wrote it she can hardly complain if it comes to a divorce. Of course since she is writing it before the marriage it's probably going to be a lot more reasonable than if she's already married and her divorce lawyer is on the case!
In USA jurisdictions, it doesn't work that way and you won't really discover her ulterior motivations either. She has to be represented by counsel who agrees it's fair. That means you must provide something for everything she concedes to in equal proportions. You might think since you're providing the green card (worth a lot) and housing and financial support of an extended family that you've done more than your share. But, that's the problem. Not being equally financially yoked, you have through your actions provided everything and thus must keep providing everything after you are divorced. There's no escape. You can't even have her move into your home (premarital asset) because you've then transformed it into marital property. I'd suggest consulting with an honest lawyer who isn't preaching traditional male gender roles. Peace.
Paul’s right about marriage, especially to a Filipina. I would not think about marrying a Filipina unless you have an ego as big as the State of Texas, or you just plain like being verbally abused. On top of that, don’t count on your Filipina wife ever using the word “Please”, or “Thank you”, or “asking” you to do anything. Instead, you will be told, and commanded. Example: She will not “ask” you to empty the trash. Instead, she will command you to do it. Why? It has to do with pride, saving face, and ego. A Filipina cannot allow herself lose face, or be demeaned vis a vis her husband. A Filipina see’s asking her husband, or using the word please, or thank you to him as demeaning. Now, I don’t know about you, but I do not like being treated in this manner. It hurts my feelings to be talked to like that. I mentioned verbal abuse. . . By verbally abusing her husband, a Filipina gains face, pride, and ego. Get the picture? Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. . . “I’ll just sit down, and calmly talk to my wife about the situation. I’ll tell her how it makes me feel to be treated in that manner. We’ll work it out. . .” Yeah, right! Sorry, but that is not how it works with a Filipina wife. Before you can even finish your first sentence, she will fiercely attack you, and insult you, putting you instantly on the defensive. You see, a Filipina wife can not allow you to win an argument either, for the same reason. She loses face, and she is demeaned. Oh! Did I mention that a Filipina wife cannot follow any suggestion, or idea a husband may have. Why? The same reason. In her mind she would lose face, and be demeaned if she did so. Conversely, a Filipina wife can never compliment, or even admit that her husband can be right about something, for the same reason. You are always wrong, and your ideas are stupid. Moral support: You’ll love this one. .. When you come home with a compliant about how someone wronged you, or abused you during your day, you can always count upon your Filipina wife to take the side of the other person, against you, although she has never met, or even heard of the other person involved. How do you like them apples? Again, it’s for the same reason. A Filipina wife cannot allow herself to admit that you could be be in the right. By casting you as always in the wrong she boost her own ego. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. . . You’re thinking, “My Filipina girlfriend is different! She’s the opposite of all that! She sweet, shy, demure, kind, understanding, respectful of me, non aggressive, etc., etc.” Well, of course she is! Because you are not married to her. Remember in the Philippine culture, one is never frank, never shows their true feelings, or personality. Instead, one always says what they think the other person wants to hear, and acts the way they think you wish them to act. But, that goes away almost instantly right after marriage. You see, we westerners are a naturally frank people. In fact, it’s difficult for us to hide our true thoughts, and personality for long. Little by little as the courtship relationship continues, one’s true self starts to emerge, but not with a Filipino. It’s easy for a Filipino to hide their true self. It causes them no stress, or stain at all. How do I know this? Because I lived in the Philippines for six years, then I moved to the island of Saipan where 30% of the pop is Filipino for another 15 years, then I moved to the island of Guam, where 40% of the pop is Filipino. Along the way, I married two Filipinas, and became friends with over a dozen Americans, also married to Filipinas. They all experienced a very rude awakening upon marrying their Filipina girlfriend with the exception of two. Now, I could go into the unfaithfulness of the vast majority of Filipina wives, and why that is, but I tire. But, hey, don’t take my word for any of this. Instead, when you visit the Philippines, do not land in Manila. Instead, land at the Clark Economic Zone airport, 50 miles north. People say this airport is located in Angeles City, but in reality, the exact barangay is called Dau. Now in Dau, right outside the airport gate is located a fine VFW (Veterans Of Foreign War’s) club, bar, and restaurant with 1000 American members. Walk in and talk to 20 or 30 of the American retirees who have lived in the Philippines for ten, twenty or more years, and educate yourself on Filipino culture. Don’t forget to ask them how many honest Filipinos they have met. . . If you are thinking of marrying a Filipina, it is essential that you understand her culture. Remember, there are no universal rights or wrongs. One’s culture determines what is right, wrong, good, bad to an individual. If you do not know the culture, you are an extremely vulnerable babe in the woods. For instance, Is theft, rape, or scamming wrong in the Philippines?
Hey Ronald sounds like you had a very interesting life, Looking to interview people for my channel, it could be Audio only so that you remain anonymous if you wish
@@paulsasianadventure8050: I’d love to Paul, but I have no privacy here, and I wouldn’t want my wife or teenage son to hear. . Thanks for the offer though! Ron 🤓
Some truth here fir Shure ,Some very good points you brought up ! I needed to hear this ! I’m 64 but healthy ready to marry 20. I’m beginning to see the potential complications/ lessons to learned here Relating to your story .... when some people are desperate..they do crazy things
Hello Paul. In my case, I am bringing my Fiance on a K1 Visa and marrying her in the USA as required by the Visa. She will live in my paid off house that is ALREADY going towards my 3 kids when I die ONLY. If we divorced , she will ONLY get some money saved and she will return to her family in the Philippines.
Depending on the laws in your state, your ex may still have a percentage right in your property regardless of what your will or trust instrument says. Also, be careful of transformation of property by how it's used. Consult with an attorney who is actually concerned with your rights. For example, your paid off house may be transformed into marital property if you move your new wife in. The laws are stacked against the party with the assets. Peace.
Thank you Paul for your advice,iam a 61 years old man ,and widow,dating a Philli lady, she is 52 years old,for her age she looks fine,iam not falling for young girls, but now she wants to take our relationship to the next level (get married). And iam not sure about that,i do not want to fall in to the mouse trap. I was married to my wife 41 years and lost her less then a year ago of covid19,she is the mother of my 3 kids, daugther of German man and Guatemalan mother, what a wonderful woman she was. You dont know how much i appreciate you advice bro,you open my eyes a little more to something i already knew, but i wasn't sure, God bless you paul.
Wow, thank you so much for an awesome video!!! You have completely changed my perspective on considering marrying my girlfriend in the Philippines, and buying property there. Because the dollar buys so much over there, she has been suggesting me, to buy a home there, once we’re married. But after listening to your video, I have also noticed that there are really great rentals there in the Philippines, so there really isn’t a need for us to purchase a property there. I really like your idea about, if I’m going to marry her, to marry her in the states, to get a good strong prenup and postnup. And sadly, the story you shared about a friend of yours, it’s not the only Sestri that I have heard about ex-pats losing their lives or everything they have over there, because of the disadvantages of an expert in the Philippines, and how families of your wife can turn on you, as well as the wife, herself. I think you made a very profound statement, when you said that none of us is the person we were 10 years ago, Norma will be the same person 10 years in the future, meaning she could be a completely different person 10 years from now, now that she’s living a much better lifestyle than she did before she met us. You made very valid points for all of us to consider, please keep them coming, thank you so much.
My life improved DRASTICALLY since my marriage to a Filipina here 12 years ago! For one, I have a Section 13(a) Visa (Permanent Resident), so even during this CoVid-19 Bullshit, I never have to leave. The cost of living is only a tiny fraction of what it is in the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, New Zeeland, etc. I have made many friends here, especially since attending a State University here and earning two additional degrees here in addition to those I earned in the United States. What did you accomplish here?
After 3x divorced and losing everything, you have to accept that you are the problem. Not meant to be the dig that it sounds like, but you are either a bad husband OR likely, just a bad decision maker when it comes to the women you choose... Either way, the "professional bachelor" sounds like a smart move after your experience. That being said, I can't believe this guy was so cautious, but is considering marrying his Filipina to *bring her to the states...* Bringing them to the west is like feeding gremlins after midnight! 😬😬😆😆
The Bible says sex outside of marriage separates you from God, that's a hard one to get around. I wonder if I can do a prenup with God, where he'll allow me to have a live-in girlfriend & still go to heaven?
Sorry that's not what the bible says at all. It's just that you've been told that your whole life by your parents and pastors that you've come to believe it unquestioningly.
You think too much about your assets, that’s not what an average Filipina thinks, getting married is the ultimate goal of every girl, after there career and have there own job, they want to build a family and not just women but also men. As for you who just go there to have fun and don’t get married, I can assure you that you will not be successful. Ask your girl what is her goal in life. If you are unselfish enough to fulfill her dream then you are the right guy for her otherwise, let her loose! Stay where you are and dream of a happy life with out anyone on your side. I’m sorry but you devalue women with your mindset. You think that A Filipina will remain submissive to you and just play with you? Do you think she will be forever happy like that? No because she has a hard core family who will come to her and let her know that she is not practicing what she was taught in life! In the Philippines, family is number one, and so every Filipina will always desire to have her own family. I think that western people have so much contamination in there mind because of previous experience but things are different in the Philippines!
I’m 65 yrs old and belong to a small club, a circle of Males that call ourselves “the failure to launch club”. Never Married, No kids, and loving life in every possible way you can imagine. 👍🇺🇸🙏🤩
NOTICE ! When you married in other country's lady, DO NOT DECLARE it you your country or to your embassy!! I Have married with an Indonesian lady and trying to divorce since 10 years in my country. Thanks
