Dr. Jordan B. Peterson on infidelity - betrayal. 

Or Jordans Peterson

@@baselibrahim483

Yes, I agree. And more importantly, we need more people to listen to the Jordan Petersons of the world.

Could we have just this Jordan Peterson without all the anti-progressive and pro conservative dialogue

We certainly do

This is the decision I made tonight. Your words ring true friend

I wish everyone felt the same about betrayal because if they did they would feel the same about abuse or abusing others and it would never happen ever again.

Jordan is Autistic

Blessed be God forever.

What if the person doesnt want to walk you through what happened/confess, can you recover

@Jonas Kgomo yes you can. It shows they are protecting themselves and their secrets over your right to your reality. SO.. you may need to heal without being in a relationship with them. ALSO... you probably don't really want all the details that betrayed partners think they want to know in the beginning. Anything that allows you to paint a picture in your mind (hair color, race, sexual positions, names (unless it is someone you may know) all become triggers for the betrayed partner.

Appreciate the optimistic message. I’m very happy to hear you’re doing fine.

Wow! I am Waiting for that day! Pray Gods hands are on me!

Same here.

I’m not sure how I am getting thru this

@@elaine7860 you guys need theocracy again, for betraying through infidelity your spouse under proper islamic theocracy, you get death sentence as it should be, baseline morality is pretty much lost in the far West, too much hipocrisy

You loved the person he portrayed himself to be. And if he didn't show up authentically, that's the best you could have done. People like that don't even give you the opportunity to love them. They hide behind a mask; they hide who they truly are. So when we find out that they never loved us, we mustn't take it personally...they don't even love themselves enough to show up.

Thank you. That is exactly why I realized I never loved him. I loved an illusion that was not him. I appreciate your comment.

@@nj5023 I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been in your situation and I know how it feels. I wish you healing and resilience.

It’s been many years and I’ve worked hard on myself to be a better person, so I’m doing well. Thank you. Not sure I’ll ever be “healed” entirely from that episode tho. Sorry you went through it as well. I’m sure it made us both better people for having lived through it. ❤️

@@nj5023 It takes a really long time to heal. But I think it is possible. We just have to keep moving forward while being compassionate enough to be kind with ourselves when grief arises. I wish you blessings.

Same for me only reverse the genders

The way it sound you are healed already

@@pettrehello4320 not yet, it seems a long process but I am getting better thank you.

You're not alone. Keep hanging on. ❤

@@amberklein1560 sadly I realize this in an all too common occurrence

If your academic major happens to be lies and stupidity, L. Ron Peterson would indeed be an outstanding mentor.

@@phasespace4700 you have to respect people's point of view.....watch I will answer you the same you answered to the beautiful lady .... it seems your intellect and reasoning never developed at home or you might not have ever gone to school.....either way you human quality reflects immaturity and lack of personal integrity and it reflects your own stupidity and living in a lie in your life.....did I hit a nerve and the truth along the answer?

Definitely his critical thinking ability on his expertise when expressing the facts impartially should be used by most people outside Academics....you find this in the science community Cheers!!!

Once that behaviour has been enabled there's no goin baak

Sins can’t haunt anyone forever because Jesus is available to all of us, victims and perpetrators alike. All of us fall short of God’s glory, not by works, but by our birth.

I was just thinking about this the other day. Trying to describe J.Peterson and why I trust his words so profoundly. It’s kinda of scary… you don’t want to put anyone on a pedestal or take their words as Bible. Especially someone you don’t actually know. However, the long careful pauses. The careful phrasing of words. And most importantly the sincere severity of his responses prove he understands what’s being asked…. And even what might not be asked but needs to. It makes me want to listen to every word he has to say.

Don't trust no celebrity. No false idols.

Thank you for sharing. We don’t really know others well. We just don’t. Typically we habituate and see what we want to see. This is what enables sociopaths to so easily manipulate people. Think of it this way, how well do you think you know another person in context to how much you really know about yourself. These are profound questions. In some sense the journey of a lifetime is to find oneself and live up to your fullest potential. That’s hard. We all fall short. Typically when we start to “fix ourselves” by reconciling our past, present and future with as much Truth as possible. We have to be brutally truthful with ourselves and usually what we need most is exactly where we least want to go in our psyche. That’s also in line with the Hero’s motif, right? The hero is that person who was one place, X happens to them and they fall into a pit, and make the Heroes journey back and then better than they were. Properly integrating ourselves, the long dark night of the soul (

Binge-watching JP, me too. But I’m 36 but never had a boyfriend before, I wish to find a god-fearing man and have some babies one day, I’m always a christ and church lover, I’m here to learn from others mistake.

Why would you need to be around another human being so badly to even have to ask what to do if your wife was sexually involved with another dude… let go turn the page forgive and move on out of their life.

I've been married for 14 years. No matter what you believe in, or how sincerely you believe it, we are all susceptible to temptation; just go into it knowing that there are no guarantees and there's risk involved. Of course we're all human and we're all imperfect, it just is what it is, and while your marriage will be the framework of your adult life, it is *not* the cornerstone of your adult life.

Prayers said. God bless you.

May the Lord grant you peace and wisdom

I can relate to this mate... What I can share is that the truth will never come, it's been almost 3 years I've been waiting... The longer we wait the worst it gets... I strongly encourage you (if you haven't yet) to engage a psychotherapist and start the healing process... To get more info on why the truth doesn't come & probably no proper closure even, I recommend you check out Dr Ramani on RU-vid ( if you haven't). Wishing you to be blessed with strength & guidance to sail tru these painful ruthless unfair injustice moments and come out much wiser, stronger & legendary! as they say ''Tough times don't last but tough ppl do" Much love & respect ♥️ 🙏🏽, God Bless

@The Awaken Generation, r/asoneafterinfidelity will help you try make sense. Best of luck.

Sounds like a trip to hell. Thank you for sharing. Hopefully you’ve learned as much about yourself as you learned about her.

Free yourself from their nonsense. You will never get answers you desire. Stop looking, just rip the bandaid off my brother.

My mom got std's from my cheating father

Yep

Also the risk of being hurt or even killed by the third party

Yes. A friend of mine ended up going on hormones in her thirties because she didn't realize her husband was committing infidelity and didn't realize she had PID until it had advanced so far there wasn't much else to do but take everything out. Historically that's been a bigger risk with women, because they can deal with STDs of various kinds without knowing it until the disease is well settled in. But recent studies indicate guys can be more easily rendered infertile from chlamydia than previously thought, and of course herpes is the gift that keeps on giving. More instinctively monogamous people, be they male or female, can be pretty devastated just by knowing they've been infected with an STD, even if it's treatable. I am all for sticking to the marriage vows through thick and thin, but there's a difference between remaining loyal to someone who is having a hard time and being difficult or otherwise causing you stress, and putting up with someone who is actively trying to destroy the relationship. Infidelity crosses that line. A marriage only works if both partners will put the necessary work in it; in most cases, adultery is evidence that one partner isn't willing to try.

​@@shalomhobbitess7509 Perfectly articulated. I have been struggling to explain this to women who are bent on blaming the other woman for their husband's or boyfriends infidelity. How can they not see that it is the spouse who they took a vow with? No the other woman. If you will permit me, I will copy and paste this to them so they can see what I mean,

Wow. That’s a success story! You definitely took the Hero’s journey down into the pit and fought your way back up! 💪🙌 Thank you Mike for contributing to the discussion! I’m sure it will be a beacon to those facing the same journey!

Yes. Well said.

@Vicki V. V. "Betrayal is a forge that transforms the betrayed..." but never the betrayers. They had it in them all the time, they only show their true colors. And even that is only when they are caught, otherwise they could continue to play the saint without worry....

@@D1C2 read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Then you’ll understand that nobody ever truly gets away with anything. Because it changes the person committing the transgression. They don’t get away with it unscathed. It may appear that way but that’s just the appearance. And that’s different than saying they weren’t punished in the way I think they should be punished in. That’s a different concept.

@@He_Never_Quits I had already read it in my adolescence. I had not yet met NPD/narcissistic people, or at least I was not aware of their existence. Apparently, Dostoevsky didn't know them either. They can kill someone and sleep like a baby, and if you ask them, they say it's the victim's fault. I have read also about mobsters who have killed many people and yet they swear in firm conviction that they are the best people in the world. Dostoevsky's punishment simply does not work for all people, it does only for those not deranged.

@@D1C2 yes those people exist but their such a small minority in the population the odds of you being with one are slim. It doesn’t mean you weren’t with one because obviously that happens. But typically it’s a fatal miscalculation to cross paths with the type of person you’re describing. By definition. 👍

Well there you have it. 👍

Forgiveness is critical. No matter ow badly you’ve been wronged. But forgiving is not pretending that the wrong was not done or that it was OK. Consider, too, that forgiveness and reconciliation are two entirely different things.

Says who ?

@@jnaz3thirty1 Says me. Been there, done that. Forgiveness actually frees the offended person more than the offender. For one thing, the offender may not give a rip if you forgive him or not, but you’ll be even more miserable holding on to past wrongs, living with resentment, seething with a desire for payback. Not forgiving can seriously affect your quality of life and destroy your peace and happiness. But, if you so choose, sure. Go down that road. Just be aware of the potential impact on your own life.

@@Mike__G how do you forgive someone who cheated 3x in our 20 years marriage.. Every affairs he had was long term! Hes never sorry and said I made him do it etc.. always the victim. I hate him w/ a passion but I need to forgive but don't know how.

@@dailyambientandsoothingmus687 I feel so sad for you. There are few things in life more painful than what you’re going through. I know nothing about your situation, but I suspect that you need to do your best to put some distance between yourself and the one who has hurt you so badly. You are clearly grieving and this is very tough to go through. I found great solace in my faith and would encourage you to do the same if you can. I was surrounded by good people who loved me through my own journey. That said, if you face into the pain, as tough as it is, and ride it out you can come out the other end, surely not without some emotional scars, but much better off than you are now. I would think that looking after your own emotional health should be a priority, keeping in the back of your mind that forgiveness needs to be addressed eventually. It might become somewhat easier once you’ve regained some dignity and recovered some self-esteem (these things take a pretty severe beating when we’re betrayed). I don’t know if you’re in Canada or the States, but there’s an excellent program that some churches run called ‘Divorce Care’ that can provide very good guidance in navigating these turbulent waters. I pray that God will bless you and heal you as He did me.

Thank you for sharing and you laid that out very well. It sounds like you are definitely on top of things despite the pain and suffering inherent in the circumstances. Bravo for all the effort and work!

Please be very careful with this. Once your eyes are opened, they see a great deal more that you may have missed and infidelity is just one sign of the enormity of abuse that you may be exposed to. I firmly believe once a cheater, always a cheater. They don’t just get better, takes a great deal of deceit and lies to carry on an affair, that’s some deep disrespect there. If you need support Chump Lady on RU-vid is a great source of support for any person that has been abused by infidelity. It is the tip of the iceberg. Good luck to you on your journey.

I believe that recovery is absolutely possible if the work is done.People that say once a cheater always a cheater are the kind of people I'd not get and advice from.Keep your head up! Prayers for you and your husband!

Oh no. You should never go back to a cheater. Next time they just will hide it better. People don't change that easily. It takes years to see real change and by that time you'd most likely get hurt again.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're serious, aren't you?

Ride harder, lil bro

OMG. You just described my life..and I have been in therapy my whole life!!! If only I had been in therapy with him and the new trauma therapist!! I am 65 & still trying to find my way in a world where I trust no-one, but God! And I don't trust myself either anymore because of what I keep getting from people around me! God be with you! Amen

That was beautifully said, thank you

The best thing about Jordan and others is that I have learned is I have been validated for my experiences. So , yes, I have been playing a role in all this trauma. That sucks the most!

@@slm2021 you said it so clearly in a very few words,things we don’t think we can even explain in a 1000 page book 👍👍

@@reflectonthings3008 Thank you for your support.

Sorry to hear you’re in that rotten place. But, given the current set of facts at your disposal, what’s the best way to proceed? Set your sights on the highest aim you can muster, one that makes all the suffering worth it in the end and move towards that. Thank you for sharing!

You’re welcome Amber!

Thank you Steven for posting. It was an enjoyable read. I understand your point. Often, artists and musicians express what they’ve experienced through their medium. In the late 70’s, infidelity ran rampant, like it is now. Your observation is interesting. There are equally as many songs that espoused Faithfulness / fidelity. Such as Journey’s Faithfully. I love that song. There’s no shortage of men who have sang about how she is THE one. There are also many reasons why people of all ages are pulling away from relationships. This is one of them but equally to blame is electronics, the lack of human contact as children (because they’re on electronics) leads to a lack of social skills needed to start and maintain healthy relationships. We learn how to to that as children and in the home. Fractured marriages impact this as well because the home social model is broken. There are many reasons and life is complex. Yes, music plays a part in our life akin to a religious experience. We know this scientifically. Scripture espouse keeping a song in our heart and on our lips. I wouldn’t indulge too much in negative music. It affects us more than we know.

Thank you for sharing Jurjan. I’d like to congratulate your wife for straightening herself out. That’s not easy and she did it. Undoubtedly she’s not the same person who betrayed you. Now…your “friend” though…that’s a deep betrayal. An encounter with someone like that is something you will never forget. People are like that, obviously, and worse. Hopefully you’ve learned a few things about keeping friends and the levels of discernment needed when dealing with friends. I’m inspired by your wife getting herself together. That’s how it should go. Even if you two didn’t stay together, getting herself together was the right thing for her to do. I’m sure she hopes she had done it a little sooner. Can’t change that. She did what she could do to change. What more can you ask for? A time machine? Thank you for sharing! Please subscribe if you find the channel helpful as it leads others here too!

Idk man I would have ditched her.

You found out your wife slept with your “best friend” and you decided to stay married? Both of the people who you’re closest to, betrayed you. I wouldn’t be able to trust either of them ever again, I would have retained a lawyer and filed for divorce. If they’ve cheated once, they’ll do it again

@@mitchvalentine9988 seems like a perfectly reasonable course of action.

Getting divorced that is…

You’re welcome Missy! Please subscribe if you find it helpful as it helps others find the videos due to the algorithm. Thank you Missy!

Hey Angie. Thank you for sharing. I’m saddened by what you’re going through. Let me tell you why. I’ve been there. But you know what, you’re making the journey. It’s the proper road to travel. There are many archetypal stories where someone escapes tyranny and goes to the desert and not directly to the promised land. It’s the out of Egypt and into the desert for 40 years story. It’s the archetypal storyline for many movies. Band of Brothers is the same storyline. Under a tyrant, escape him to only land in hell and they make the heroes journey out. You’re doing the same thing. The Bible principal of being in the desert wondering around (being alone) is you’re figuring things out. You may feel lost but what do you do when you wonder around? You think. You have that conversation in your head. You sort yourself out, if a person has any sense about them they do. Gosh, you just escaped a tyranny that in part you participated in for 30 years. There’s a lot to learn from that. But the important thing is this Angie, what does it mean? What does all of that mean to you exactly? You don’t have tell me, it’s the question you need to be asking yourself. What does it mean? Because meaning has implications for action in the world. When I studied Artificial Intelligence and psychology we know that ethics proceeds perception. (There’s a video of Dr. Peterson on perception in my playlist, view it please) we see the world through a lens of our ethics. physiologically, we see the world through the lens of our Reticular Activating System (RAS). It organizes existence into three categories. 1. Tools and that which would be helpful in obtaining your goal or aim. 2. Impediments or obstacles that could prevent you from obtaining your aim or goal. 3. The rest of the universe is placed here. Irrelevant. Everything not classified under 1 & 2 will remain here unless it becomes anomalous or novel information to you. At which time you’d rapidly discern if it’s helpful or an obstacle or return to category 3, it should remain irrelevant. See the Dan Simmons Gorilla Experiment video. It’s on RU-vid. Our aim shapes our perception. That’s why it’s important to know exactly what you’re aiming for Angie. Seems like you’ve been through the tyranny. Everyone goes through the desert. Set your aim for the promised land. You’ve got this. 🙌 one last thing, cleanse your life of all lies, the best you can. Don’t speak them. Don’t repeat them. Don’t participate in a lie, yours or anyone else’s. This is important. Life is hard. It’s harder if you don’t have a strong grip on reality. I lie is not reality. It’s not. When you have a strong grip on reality, you’re more formidable in this world. And that is reality. Apart from Truth we can do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth. 💪

... Sorry to hear that.

Check out chump lady

Betray is the lowest level of hell. I hope you’ve sorted that mess out. It’s not fun.

Sorry, I was married to a cheating lying wife for years. Can’t change them. Pure human garbage.

I hope you found the courage to leave him

Yeah..him and Kid Rock. 😂

Thank you for sharing Susan. Sounds like you’ve definitely made a trip to “the underworld” known also as hell. Something I did that helped was asked myself the hard questions. Nobody forced me to marry. I chose that person. So what was it about me that was attracted to that person and chose that person as a life long mate? Arguably one of the single most important choices we make in life. Was I blind to the issues? Or did I ignore my conscience when potential flags arose? Or was I totally blind? And if I am totally blind to something like a betrayal, what else am I blind to? Or willfully blind to? Have I misjudged others? Have I misjudged myself? How’s my own relationship with Truth? Was the foundation of the relationship built on a lie? For example, two people who start dating each other but neither’s divorce from their previous marriages are complete…That would be starting a relationship on a lie, even if there’s complete knowledge that neither are divorced yet. The foundation of a relationship has to be built on Truth. Has to be. Otherwise it will not last. How much do we want others to truly know us? It’s not like anyone opens up their closets on the first date and starts parading their skeletons they’ve worked hard for years to burry. That stuff comes out much later, typically. Truthful dialogue is the the best way to lay a sold foundation to your relationship. Full disclosure, so both of you have a better idea on what you’re getting into. People resist that idea and it’s understandable. Who wants to tell a love interest they were molested as a kid? One may ask what bearing that may have on a relationship as an adult and it could have a lot more impact than one would think. How a person has dealt with such a thing matters or if they’ve dealt with it all all. There’s a good portion of the population who just throw that skeleton in the closet and since it’s often the first thing into ones closet, it gets buried over time. The proper thing to do is go where we least want to go in our psyche. Enter the forest at its darkest place, so to speak. There’s information in those events that are crucial to work out in order to calm our limbic system. If not sorted out, they can lead to many issues. Such as a woman who was molested by her father, later at age 38, sleeps with her 17 year old step son who’s she’s helped raise with 50/50 custody since the boy was 6. 🧐 That one I know of personally. You’re always going to have pain regarding that relationship until you deep dive into it and sort it out and I mean go back to how you met. Now, for you haters out there because I get a few of those who don’t like Dr. Peterson, maybe Susan has sorted through all this, I do not know. However, I would assume that if she divorced a blatant cheater 7 years ago and she’s still in able to trust… and for people who have made the trip referred to as the dark night of the soul, typically mention such a journey and transformation in their comment. But I do not know and I apologize for assuming Susan. What I said still stands for all of us. Please allow me to explain…I’ll lay out an analogy. We can say our limbic system is riding “Shotgun” with us in our head (although it’s really throughout our nervous system) but it’s riding shotgun. Does anyone know where that term derived from? Hint: it’s not I get to ride in the car next to you. Think older. Horse drawn stagecoaches were documented to have been robbed in America from 1856 to 1913. During such time men with a shotgun were assigned to ride next to the driver as security. Hence, riding next to the drive is riding “shotgun” because the security of the coach was the primary responsibility in that act of riding the coach and the shotgun was the means to enforce it. Our limbic system is riding shotgun with us. Let that sink in for a minute. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 When we encounter unexpected danger or in modern days it’s most likely to be problems such as a partner who’s betrayed us. And we will use betrayal because that’s on topic to this video. When we encounter betrayal from our mate we process that information with the same neural circuitry as our “snake detection circuitry” as Dr. Peterson would call it. (I have several other videos in this playlist on this in particular) So it’s not like you find out you’ve been betrayed and then you decide I’m going to treat this person like an enemy, no, we process the information that we’ve been betrayed on the same circuitry as the one we detect predators with. That is the case. And that would be the same circuitry you’d use to identify something that could eat you like a Great White shark or grizzly bear. Same circuitry. Now, if we’ve had an encounter with something dangerous, something unexpected that we didn’t anticipate or want, something that caused us distress and we didn’t properly sort through what happened and properly identify what happened and how we’re going to avoid such a thing in the future or how we’re going to deal with such a thing should we encounter it in the future in such an efficient way it’s mitigated, if we haven’t done that deep dive…we’ll then our limbic system who’s riding shotgun, you remember him right? The one who rides shotgun rides next to the driver because they are responsible for security of the coach. Our limbic system is riding shotgun with us. As Dr. Peterson says, if we have a memory that’s older than 18 months old and there’s still painful memories correlated with that memory then you probably have to go back in your mind and unpack that memory. There’s information there you need to process. Bad memories come as a result of our limbic system, who’s riding shotgun, trying to get us to do our homework and sort through this memory because we encountered something that hurt us and we didn’t properly learn from it and it could hurt us again. Once we learn what we need to learn, that bad memory calms down. It’s like our limbic system is saying “HEY 👋 DUMMY! You hurt us by XY&Z AND you didn’t sort through that properly and the likelihood of that happening again is fairly HIGH so why don’t we unpack that situation, learn from it so that we can avoid it all together in the future or we have an answer or plan should we encounter it in the future?” And we ignore that voice. Well…that doesn’t work. The limbic system just says “Oh, okay, you want to play it that way and ignore me? Fine. I’ll just amp up this message via nightmares and full on PTSD.” And that’s what it does. Our limbic system gives us bad memories so that we can learn from them. Our limbic system keeps us safe, it’s riding shotgun. Listen to it. Susan, not trusting people is an answer to the problem. Is it the best answer? 🤷🏻‍♂️ I can’t say. I can say I enjoy being trusted as do most people. Probably you too. Perhaps you’re braver than you think and you have the courage and discernment to find Your Person should you decide that’s what’s best for you. I do appreciate your sharing and I hope that was semi coherent, I had some interruptions throughout that. My apologies. I do try to be alone when I respond on this channel. My work thought makes me available to support those who have lost a loved one in uniform. I support Survivors and am on contract 24/7 to support Survivors. So they’re the exception.

You’ll obviously be better off without her.

True!

You’re welcome Jessie, I wish you didn’t have to search for this particular content. I’ve just begun loading content. If you’d like to subscribe, there will more content loaded soon.

Isn’t it Rob! Not fun. Big period of growth if it’s navigated correctly but tough for sure!

Both my husbands cheated. Me, never. But the knowledge did not destroy me. In a long marriage passion dies and a yearning to feel some of that excitement again is not unnatural. I forgave him and I was grateful that I was unaware it was going on. When the second husband left the marriage then I felt betrayed. Everything we had worked for and the lifestyle we had achieved in our 60s was taken away and I had no say in the matter. People get way too worked up about affairs because they’re told fidelity is everything. Yes you must protect against STDs and you run a huge risk of the other person destroying your family out of spite. But you can’t deny human nature and few marriages are blissful. This is going to illicit a ton of sanctimonious outrage but be pragmatic, understand, forgive and then decide if you must end the relationship. My husband left and was promptly dumped by his lover. We didn’t reconcile because both of us realised we were happier apart. When I discovered the big house and all of that wasn’t half as important as living a contented life alone, I was fine. Honestly why cheat if everything at home is wonderful? You’re just an idiot if you do so don’t do it if there’s a chance it’s going to wreck your wife/husband and children’s lives. That I would find unforgivable. Divorce if life is untenable - there are plenty of crazies out there - but you owe your children a stable upbringing if at all possible. Throughout history there were many successful marriages where infidelity was involved. In certain cultures it was accepted as the norm. Usually I agree with Peterson but my answer on this occasion would have been very different.

Interesting advice. Do you believe most people currently have enough discipline to do this? Dr. Jordan Peterson says nearly the opposite. You need to go all in and go all in quick. The point is, it’s marriage. There’s VOWS! YOU DO NOT GET TO QUIT. You’re in this together! So unless you want to be miserable for 50 years, you’ll figure it out and sooner rather than later! Nobody is perfect. In three years you’ll find more than enough “flaws” with your partner and they’ll sure in the hell see your flaws! So no, I’m not buying it. It’s commitment to another broken person just like you are and there’s no quitting. We’re in the life together, you and I and we’re sure going to do everything we can to figure this out. Including letting go of things we don’t want to let go of… Get married. Do it early in a relationship. But when you do, that’s it. You don’t get to quit. That’s how a marriage works. And you sure in the hell don’t get to cheat.

Got any book recs?

@@tongpoo8985 Relationships, a mess worth making - by Paul Tripp. What did you expect : redeeming the realities of marriage - by Paul Tripp. The complete husband - by Lou Priolo. These are the top three for anyone interested in glorifying and seeking God’s blessings and face before they meet Him.

In my first marriage, we did that. There was no sex before marriage. This allowed my ex to hide massive sexual disfunction and a porn addiction. It did NOT help in my situation. It would have been better to know my sex life with him would never be satisfying for either of us before we said “I do”.

@@HeartFireSessions Thank you Krista for sharing. And you make my point to an early reply of mine to another person on this thread. Dr. Peterson recommends going ALL in soon in a relationship but the caveat he says is we don’t get to quit. He says I get to know everything about you and you get to know everything about me and we can’t quit, so we better figure this out together or we’re going to be miserable for decades. That’s how it used to be done. A vow taken in front of family and friends meant you can’t break your vow except in the most extreme circumstances. I’ve taught if you can’t talk about it (sex & sex acts, preferences, positions, etc) maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. If you’re going to engage in adult behavior, ensure you and your partner can have ADULT conversations based in raw truth. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty! We need more of that!

Maybe some are “traitors” and maybe not. Maybe they’re people who haven’t gotten control over their lives yet. And maybe they’re psychopaths. Who can say? I do love where you say the scariest part is realizing that he’s you are capable of betraying others and that you recognize it’s magnitude by saying you would not dare do it. That’s what people call the fear of God, the beginning of Wisdom. That concept is the same thing. 👍

@@He_Never_Quits thank you for your comment, Joseph. I honestly can't say I fear the Lord. Maybe because I am a Catholic? I simply don't dare out of respect for my own sense of being human.

Thank you for sharing something that’s impacted your life like this has. I pray that you can trust once again. I don’t know many people who wants to be friends with someone who doesn’t trust them. You definitely have your reasons for not wanting to get hurt again. There’s a million ways we get hurt in life. The Christian belief is “Life Is Suffering” and Christ represents those among us who are as innocent as can be who’s wrongly accused by his best friend mobbed by angry bitter resentful people, wrongly accused, beaten in the most horrific of ways, crucified naked in public - Crucifixion by the way was the Romans worst form of torture, so tortured in the worst possible way and in that very moment, extend Grace to the self admitted criminal next to Him. I believe you may need to unpack that story a little dear😊 I believe there’s meaning in there for you and it’s God (Wisdom) that speaks through us when we listen to our conscience and remain guided by Truth (Jesus). Another cool translation is Jesus = Truth and God = Wisdom. So without God it’s impossible to heal. Yes. Without the Creator of our universe…And/Or Wisdom? Or to say Without Wisdom it’s impossible to heal? Apart from the Truth we can do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth. ✝️👍

My apologies. I’m afraid I have poor RU-vid etiquette. I should’ve posted the link to the whole video when I posted the clip. The clip is from a lecture video Dr. Jordan B. Peterson gave in Australia in November of 2022. He’s seated with his wife during the post lecture question and answer period. I found the video on the Daily Wire + app. I had to pay for the subscription to watch them. However, if you’d rather not subscribe, just Google or RU-vid Dr. Jordan B Peterson relationship advice and you will have many fantastic videos to ponder over and you can do it for free. I do enjoy the RU-vid premium to avoid commercials yet admittedly I bite my tongue every month donating to a company that participated in censorship in country that was literally founded on freedom last such as it’s your inherent right as your own life form to have the freedom of speech and to have unfettered access to the “town square” where speech is being exchanged. I’m not a fan of funding any entity that willingly suppresses free speech. Currently I find that time is short for those in the world who would like to save such freedoms from the obvious tyranny that’s unleashed itself on the world. Therefore paying to get the knowledge that I can get, quicker, is a compromise. It’s about the farthest I’ll go with compromise. Sorry for the elongated response. Google Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Relationship marriage. But what’s really helpful is learning his Maps of meaning psychology model. You’ll need to learn from his Perception video as well. There’s several great talks out there on that. I’ve been studying Dr. Peterson since 2017.

@@He_Never_Quits aight thx thx

You made the Hero’s journey Michele! You were traveling along and all of a sudden you were in hell and you fought your way back, changing yourself daily! 💪🙌 Thank you for sharing!

Any tips?

@@He_Never_Quitswork on how to find out about who I truly am, what was the unvarnished truth, followed by excruciating work on myself. The light on the other side is bright.

@@micheleagren1604 I don’t believe many people go through that sort of change. I’ve gone through it and it sounds like you have too. But I believe many don’t. I wish I was taught this when I was young or had gone the hard work of tearing oneself down to the bare Truth then building oneself back up. It’s the journey of a lifetime. We can’t change others, we can only change ourselves, therefore we can change the world. And we all know just how hard it is to change ourselves. But we expect others to do it instantly. The proper way of being is to first remove the LOG from our own eye, BEFORE pointing out the splinter in our brothers eye. Reconciling oneself completely with Truth is how the log is removed. Reconciling oneself to Truth and seeking Wisdom in all the aims / goals you set. Essentially making your “God” or “that which you hold the highest” Truth & Wisdom. You certainly wouldn’t choose the “Lie & Stupidity” as your “god.” And isn’t it interesting that in Scripture, Jesus says he IS Truth. And wouldn’t the Creator of the universe ACTUALLY be the Wisest entity that we could perceive? So God would be Wisdom Manifested. I believe our way out of this mess we’ve worked ourselves into as a species is to have what Christians would call a revival but not exactly. I don’t believe people in mass are going back to church and learning the psychological operating system we’ve built Western culture on -> Actual Biblical principles. I’m not advocating for people to go back to church, although it would be helpful if they learned Biblical principles. But we’ve differed on what scripture means…hence all the different denominations of churches in Christianity. But. But, if you reconcile your life with Truth and seek Wisdom and seriously hold to those like your life depended upon it, you would probably be acting out more Christian behaviors than many of the “Christians” today. And you don’t even have to be a Christian. Bill Mahar who’s not a Christian is,or was, embedded in a Juda-Christian culture. You can’t remove yourself from the belief system that drives your culture completely. Even if you moved to the mountains to live in isolation, you can’t remove yourself from your culture. You see in a Western Juda-Christian culture it’s illegal to go up to the mountains where that one person is all alone and murder them and take their things. We have laws here that are predicated on the Ten Commandments. So we’re embedded in our culture. I believe it’s of utmost importance every one of us reconcile ourselves to Truth and seek Wisdom. Hell is coming to the US and globally. Dig the well before you’re thirsty and being Truthful and seeking Wisdom is a game you can play that will make you content in nearly any and all situations. It will certainly be a challenge and an adventure. I’m happy for you and appreciate your effort, hard work and suffering. The world is a better place for it. We need more people to do it. Have a good night and thank you for sharing. 😊 Please Subscribe if you think this is helpful, entertaining, BS, humorous or insane. I’m not picky 😊 Thanks Michele!

Thank you! It’s great to see him in person, isn’t it? It’s almost surreal. Particularly when you realize the potential for him being an historical figure and the magnitude of that.

He is asked the betrayed person to do some self examination. It is entirely possible that the betrayed one had some quality or lack thereof that caused the betrayer to look outside the marriage. He wants people to be sleuths in the quest for what went wrong so that it doesn’t happen to them again. He said this would be arduous and difficult. It doesn’t help the situation if one party adopts a position of self righteousness.

It’s surreal to talk to him in person. Done it.

I'm so sorry that happened. He doesn't even deserve to be in your presence.... I don't know him but these scammers do this for a living, day in & out and for years, a life long, they have no shame, no remorse. Let them believe they got their piece of heaven, for without a broken & contrite heart, he'll be in hell...due to his choice. And yes, they think it's worth it, which is why they do it.

Take care of yourself! They are sh** people. Now it's hard.... you will afford it and you will be more careful about people. You will start to notice behaviors of others that before you didn’t pay so much attention. God bless you!

Sorry to hear your case

Just don't send any money to Jordan Peterson, con artist extraordinaire.

@@phasespace4700 Yet you are here, incresing his audience. That makes you... what? "Deranged extraordinaire"?

Yes betrayal is at the bottom. The line between good and evil runs down the center of every human heart, it’s been said. The trick is for us not to do it to others, as it’s been done to us. Hold the high ground. Cling to Truth. Seek Wisdom. Apart from Truth we do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth.

We do not see the world. We see tools and obstacles, in a psychological technical sense. We’re always in pursuit of something we deem more ideal than our current state. The world then lays itself out, by courtesy of the Reticular Activating System (RAS). The RAS organizes the world into three categories. 1. Tools or what’s helpful to achieve your goal / desire. 2. Obstacles or impediments to obtaining our goal / desire. The rest of the universe is then placed into category 3. 3. That which can currently be deemed as irrelevant. And we now know that our ETHICS proceed our perception. So our #ETHICS frames our aim. I’m guessing you should probably know your ethics. And not the ethics you claim to have. The ethics which you act out in the world. Are you actions and words properly aligned? Do you lie? How is your relationship with Truth? Do you make seeking that which is wisest you highest priority? Apart from Truth we can do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth. #JordanPeterson

@@He_Never_Quits👍👍👍

Hello, this was a clip from a lecture posted on DailyWire + it’s a subscription based platform so I can’t furnish the link. But it can be found there.