Drama Queens/Kings: Narcissists, Borderlines 

Yes, puts a smile on my face because it gives me confirmation of what I'm experiencing from a narcissist, the 'why' is answered, and with the confirmation of what's going on I'm a little bit happier. I'm glad Sam is studied up to enlighten listeners.

@@beckystucki8988 Dr. Vaknin has a great sense of humor. And while it does make me smile, it is tragic that there are so many people who have fallen prey to the depravity of the soul of those who have fallen into the abyss of their selfishness.

For me personally the need for attention and power are interchangeable Edit: as in both just survival mechanism

@@jenniferbrower what I described is basically extreme codependency and counterdependency. Are you counter dependent? Power? You don’t need anyone? Cause than I feel sorry for you since you actually have the most repressed need for connection on earth :P (Just making conversation)

@@celladoor_uk thanks, according to those who look into these things - I’m not an expert myself - you can swing from codependency to counterdependency and vice versa quite often. It’s a sign of weak self. We probably all went through them.... in fact I’d like to know if it’s possible at all that a child/human skips one of these two phases ever. I don’t think it’s possible.. even for the pushing people away 🧐. Edit: I definitely did both even in my adulthood. Each time adults fight I’m sure there’s some of it in it - “you hear me, empaths?” (Quoting Dr. Vaknin for this last one)

And I always wondered what the drama queen thought when they were disowned?

There you go, he throws in a few people and he's in control, some drama makes things go the way he wants too. Hopefully everything is OK for you after, or while in this relationship...

Yep a slick manipulation tactic

Watch the vid on comfort zones, it is a close approximation.

The world without Broadway is bad enough, don't take Vakcination away again. Self-state info has been so illuminating. I saw myself last May switch from childlike loving BPD woman, really caring, who when Narc gave no comfort, I left crying. By the time I dried my eyes nothing but ignoring him soothed me. For a year I chuckled and NC blocked his calls. What did I really want? Power? As BPD I wanted love and reassurance. As secondary psychopath I found blocking calls a sadistic pleasure. Your video on him restoring his grandiosity if I now answer keeps me from doing so. I engaged in same shenanigans for 26 years with a covert narc spouse and when I left I thought never again! In therapy I played victim. I'm reading V-spot and it is hard to believe many couples get vspot relief in that therapy but it sounds great. She tells them that's not a feeling, that's a defense. Have you thought of putting cold therapy in a vspot styled book?

Why?

Hated not by real victims, but by professional victims, whose identity is their - real or self-imputed - victimhood, wearing it on their sleeves (aka "empaths": a particularly pernicious and revolting metastasis of covert narcissism).

Yes I know, I'm a codependent victim and I absolutely agree with and appreciate your " anti-victim mentality" approach and it's exactly what I needed to hear to move forward, so thank you for that.