What is Acting Out? (and Covert Narcissist) 

Thank you Dr.. Vaknin for your counterweights. I was flipped upside down by a covert narcissist. Abandoned and disoriented I found your videos. It is your insights that helped me get upright and on my feet again. Thru knowledge I am now a stronger, wiser and more dangerous version of myself. Before I found your channel I felt trapped on the set of Twilight Zone begging some to please yell "cut"

I saw this in my ex boyfriend when he went into a rage. He turned into someone I didn’t know and I didn’t even think he was talking to me. It was as if he had slipped somewhere back in time. I saw a lot of self hate. Very traumatizing. Whenever he felt slighted or I had a different opinion he reacted in anger and lastly in rage. He could not do conflict resolution. This was a 70 year old man. Who can live with this?

Love your sense of humor. 😅❤️ Your "people who get pregnant" comment won me over 4ever 😁

yes yes there is only one disorder. To neutralize the afflicted individual, take the following steps: 1. Secure them firmly to a chair with super strong duct tape. Do not use a flimsy or folding chair. 2. Pour a bucket of holy water onto their head. (Repeat step 2 until the monster is thoroughly doused and saturated) 3. Call a priest. 4. When the priest arrives, hand him a wooden stake and run away. (He might need the wooden stake) 5. Wait to see what happens. Observe from a safe distance. 6. If the house doesn't burn down and there are no signs of activity, approach with caution and find out wth happened. 7. If the afflicted individual seems human, thank the priest profusely and carry on with your life. 8. If not.. move to another continent like I did.

Thank you, Prof. Sam! Thanks to you I understand a lot more now thanks to your videos. I am talking about 30 years ago. I have a child with a Malign. Narcissist. I always referred to him as Psychopath because at that time we did not know anything about Narcissism. I met him when I was 19, a child myself. A year later I had my child but OMG. As little did I know. I tried and it was hard. I really wondered what is wrong with me, but actually, nothing was wrong. I was still learning. It was hard to get away from him because of my child, which he used to blackmail me, but someday I was able to. I am German and I love it when you explain in German. Thank you!

Sam, you will never see my comment but thank you for empowering me with this knowledge. Truly.

Consistently liberating. "Turning on the lights" for all of us.

Bob Newhart was so funny. LOVED him when I was a youngster

You are not only lifesavingly informative but extremely entertaining. Of course 🙂

Professor Vaknin, thank you.

I didnt understand what I was encountering until I bumped into one of your videos 2 years ago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for finally bringing an academically acurate perspective and establishing a counterweight to the non sense that claims to be “helpful” online. ❤ Huge fan and follower ever since..

Professor Vaknin: Both fascinating and informative. You bring forth intelligent observations that are well worth consideration.

Like the sense of humor😊. Hilarious 😂

🍷cheers! Thank you for articulating these concepts

Let me turn on the light.Thank you Dr.

Thank you for this video ❤

Mr. Professor, My colleague Marcelo Fernandes and I are working on a scientific paper that proposes a crisis management model. In our article, "Acting out" is identified as a limiting factor in the ability of individuals in groups to make good decisions. Acting out, in your opinion, can influence people's behavior in crisis situations (e.g., institutional decisions in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic).

Hi Sam your Knowledge in personality disorders is IMMENSELY appreciated . I have read your book in malignat self love... and often enjoy interviews where you give brilliant answers, however I am not one that seats through all of your video-lectures sometimes rantings as you call it but this one has touched me profoundly. A "narcissist who developed avoidant personality disorder" is the best "definition" I have heard to describe my long term partner. Therapist will tell you that you can only be one or the other but not both... even after he completed the personality assessment inventory DSM5 with 5 criteria meet for Narcissist personality and 7 for avoidant personality. When the therapist asked what I thought I said; to me he was both at exactly that ratio 5 to 7. Also and I guess not a coincidence he had 3 parental figures as a young child. An irresponsible childlike often displaying convert narcissist traits father who did not provide for the family, an avoidant mother with an unavailability to express love and respect for her children who after divorced attached herself to the charismatic overt Narcissist type who seam to display sexual interest in young girls. We only discovered that something was really wrong when he started "acting out" like his stepfather in an out of character moment involving unacceptable behavior towards a very young girls. Something I later find out he was made to observe towards his old sister from his stepfather. The Act on itself it was like a representative of the many times they have been abuse as children themselves except this time he was the one acting like his stepfather. Shockingly ones I point it out he was shameful and almost depressed. I couldn't agreed more on everything you have said in this video. Thank you for passing on your knowledge 🙏

I love the way you explain the TRUTH. YOU make me laugh too and haven't laughed in a long time

Thank you so much.

Thank you Professor Vaknin, I really enjoy your lectures..

Thank you Sam, I have been dealing with this for years with a narcissist. You have cleared this up for me and I feel so much better,

Brilliant.

Dear Dr. Vaknin! Would like to let you know how much I appreciate your work for 2 decades and your presence here is truly awesome and a privilege to watch. You helped me to cope with so many difficulties... One day if possible I would like to know what you think about Kazimierz Dąbrowski and his Positive Desintegration Theory in relation with the treatment of Personality Disorders. Is it useful somehow in your opinion? All your lectures are simply superb and accurate! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me, sharing so much wisdom and knowledge! You're the best. God bless you!

Truly the world expert on the subject!Professor Sam Vaknin,genius,love watching listening to your mind in action art&science synchronised.Incredible insights juxtaposed with brilliant insights&wonderful sense of humour.Thank you Professor⚘🙏

Thank you for the straight talk and the factual, no sugar coated truths. The examples are helpful as well because this is a particularly difficult revelation to have about one's self or their loved ones. Especially appreciate the Bob Newhart sketch. Love that man with a passion! Funny, adorable and always has masterful comedic timing, from the early stuff through to both Newhart shows. The Braveheart sketch is hilarious too!!

Passage à l’acte! Bravo

Good day Sam. I have been following your study on narcissism and personality disorders for several years. It would be nice to receive services directly from you. What steps need to be followed? Thank you for sharing.

Thank you Sam for the informative video as always. I recently watched Jeffery Dahmer's documentary and it really shocked me. Would it be accurate to say that his actions were forms of acting out? How about those who practice necrophilia or even paedophilia? Could that be acting out as well?

I've identified this Acting Out pattern in myself and named it "the Rogue" - sometimes it's destructive to self and others (I don't let it hurt others anymore) and sometimes it's just playful. I wonder what you have to say about being able see the impulse to Act Out as it arises, yet allowing yourself to follow through with the action even though you already know it's not the best decision?

Thank you very much professor! Can silence be considered sa acting out and how? You mentioned that but you didn't elaborate.

Thank you for your important videos. With respect to the role of the mother figure, does this mean that in a 2 parent family with a Cluster B father and a good enough mother who was the primary caretaker, is there no risk of internalized bad object of the father-as-mother-figure if the father was also a caregiver, perhaps not primary but in a 2 career marriage both parents play caregiving roles and the father is anyway often around acting in the ways cluster b persons do with their child. Is the good enough mother sufficiently protective in this case? Or is the father still something of a bad mother/object?

This son of a gun is a genius

I am watching your videos the hole day 😵‍💫 I can’t stop 😂 please send help

What happens if the baby does not have only one care giver, but is left with various caregivers (grandparents, aunts, neighbors, day care employees) starting from the age of 2 months so that the mother can go to work? Who does the baby internalize as the primary care giver?

Dr. Vaknin, how do I know if I could be one of these cluster B personalities? In everyone of your vídeos I identify both as the victim and as the perpetrador of some of the acts, thoughts and feelings you describe. I go to therapy, I take medicine prescribed by my doctors and I try to be a decent person. Most of the time I manage to be one. But I feel when I let go off my cunning and my rage and my scheming I am much more able to get not only what I want for myself but also what I feel is right (including for people who are being abused by others). But I suffer, everyone around me suffers, I engage in extremely dangerous behaviour and I really don’t know how I have survived so far.

Sam what's happening? Are we going to get some new videos, miss your videos.

Great video as usual.. so prof we can say that .. narcissism + avoidant personality =nice guy syndrome. Or not ? dose nice guy syndrome even exist in psychology Literature i really wants to know . Thank you

On the question of is it only Mother that creates a Narcissist or it could be father also? I have another question; what if the father becoming the reason that mother cannot take proper care of the child?

Do you know of research that deals with transitioning a personality disordered into borderline to make him/her react to dbt and schema- therapy? Is the succesfull treatment for borderline dependend on not having comorbidities?

Have you any long videos about Schizoid Personality Disorder or Paranoid Personality Disorder Sam? I might have one of those 2 and it would be very helpful. have a theory that both these can be created by a Malignant Narcissist parent who bulldozes the childs boundaries making the child not want to be around people anymore. I think a PPD manifests when they cant trust their own parent who actively sabotages the childs growth. I could be wrong but id be very interested to know if im accurate or way off the mark. Thanks Sam

What are your thoughts on BPD's and/or NPD's taking Aderoll to help with the disregulation aspect?

Sam, been watching many of you videos, is it helpful to confront the covert narcissist after the final discard with his narcissism?

44:34 Here's the sketch: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4BjKS1-vjPs.html

Actually, the light looks much better in you.

Hello, my mame is Dora...😅🧐