DANGER: Crazymaking Drama in YOUR Relationship!!! 

Yes, the drama. I think the narcissist provokes with passive-aggressive behavior to get you react in order to justify the chaos and drama. Then blames you for the turmoil.

In your closing you say, "You become collateral damage." Bravo. Only when I understood that it has nothing to do with me, could I emotionally get past my OWN victimhood.

Thank You. It's not until you get far far away and observe functional people and families do you realize what a dysfunctional crazy making family you escaped from. Usually only a few are able to break away from their family of origin for a different perspective and break the generational curse.

You are an utter genius and your insights absolutely blow me away!

This video is very helpful! I am 1.5 years out from a relationship with someone with BPD and credit Sam’s videos and working with a counselor for my own recovery. I was convinced I could help or save her and it took a lot of work to realize I could not. The relationship was highly stressful and took a toll on me including my life and work. I am happy now and don’t miss the continual drama episodes.

First my mother - a yard sale- then a narcissist husband for 30 years. But now I’m free. Don’t hear his voice. Going to court and feel chill. I now feel untouchable by him.

Very educational! Those who want to live in reality need this knowledge. Thanks for sharing.

OMG!! I'm going thru that now!! I'm trying to get him out of my life for so long!! Always a DRAMA, CRISIS or CHAOS!! Thank you, I really needed to hear this, right now.

I wish they would all be recognized and put separate from Us on an island.

100% spot on. I wrote recently that I am so pleased to be free of the chaos of the narcissistic relationship (11 years), and how contentment and feeling safe sure does feel good!!!

Professor Vaknin, thank you

I'm amazed at how much crazy making I have observed over the years. I've noticed a lot of women love to make digs at their guy in public too

Collateral Damage, ... Thnx prof. Sam, so important to hear from a professional.

Once you know, you go.

Such a great video thank you Sam I’m still watching and am going to rewatch. This answers so many questions. ✨

Professor, your final words make me think of Berne's description of Underworld Games, where (paraphrase) people end up in jail, in the hospital, or in the morgue.

You help so many❤thank you for helping me understand what is so hard to understand. Bless you

I would love to know why the narc wants to create crazy making drama. Very well explained. Kudos! to you for doing a jab at big narc Alec Baldwin. Luv you Sam Vaknin.

Brilliant!

People like to change the subjet when it suits them. Some where in the past these emotional outburts worked for them and with time they learned to fine tune these rants to specific audiences that will tolerate thier nonsence. Keep teaching !!!

Brilliant.

Hi Sam! I love you!

In The Wall by Pink Floyd, the scenes deplicted during the song Comfortably Numb nail the process of the individual "Getting themself together" the wrong way for the wrong reason, which is insanity. Excellent Movie.

Very well described, thank you very much. 🙏🙏

Great video

Tenx so much Professor for explaining all the p.disorders deeply & clearly and how they manefest themselvs.

Keep inspiring ✔️🎶

Always feels like you're pointing right at me, Sam! As someone trying to discover my damages and repair them (aka I show symptoms of BPD/ADHD/HPD and/or extremely covert narcissism - have done therapy but decided against medicine), I actually appreciate how frank you are. I no longer lean into any of the victim mentality that can come along with these symptoms though and don't allow myself to make excuses or hide behind something that I know I can control (and in turn, improve my life) if I can learn enough about it and put in enough effort.. My own "struggle" is part of why I relate but the bigger picture here, for me, is that you just explained my crazy-making-parent to a T. I have seen symptoms in them of BPD, NPD, HPD, ADHD, DID...it is really tough to pin point (which is how I feel about my own "diagnosis).. We just had a...mmmm...3 week reconciliation (after 2 years!) that lasted 3 visits. 2 out of 3 visits ended in crazy-making after hours of smooth sailing. The first visit, they said "I never want you to leave my life again! This is your home!" The last visit, they said "Get outta my fucking house and don't come back. I'm done with you! The thing is, on day one, I knew that day 3 would come. Just a matter of WHEN... Since 2011 I think we've been estranged on and off for, I'd guess, 10 of the years.. I will recover and she will die alone, or scarily close to it. She said she wants it that way. Pretty f*cking sad!

This is really the only rational explanation I can find for a man telling me he wants to marry me and have a family with me, and then threatening to abandon me if I didn't abort our child, and then abandoning me anyway after I reluctantly aborted. Worse experience EVER. Would not wish it upon anybody.

Prof Vaknin, I would like to add some humble info, what yofvsdsese so called actions, I know i have to work harder, nevertheless, I am improving little by little my behavior, I am so glad about that. These save my chaotic mind after tons of work and less drama

Please do full on bi-polar video

Wow Sam - what a nice smile Who knew? Great topic btw - my antisocial neighbor and his borderline girlfriend......arrrggghhhh

"Behold! A Paleblood sky!"

Paranoia and narcissism overlap, but that doesn't mean that they are the same. What about schizophrenia? If someone is having audio and visual hallucinations about the CIA, telling them that they are just narcissists isn't going to help much, is it?

I'm Dangerous

Save the drama for your mama🎉

I know you get some negative feedback, so let me throw in that I find you quite likeable, Sam.

I just took a bait and I am sorry I did. My covert narc came home from running errands acting passive aggressive. I asked “what’s the matter?” His favorite shopping bag was missing. Foolishly this codependent offered help in finding it. Like a good detective I tried yo gather some info about the favorite, now missing, bag. This was impossible task casing me more frustration. Does not remember color nor anything beyond “some letters. To make the long story short: he found it! Guess who stole his favorite bag? I did! He went yo my car and found it ! Now, after found himself to be victimized again, he is taking a nap. I am furious at myself for falling for this 90 min. Drama 🎭 What is real reason for his anger? Our grandkids are coming but our daughter does not know when, because flight cancellation. Narc anticipates loss of control over his schedule. His anxiety usually advises him to find something he can claim, he lost or cannot find. And the wild chase begins. It is always one suspect and it is me! So exhausting. Got to make a note to myself: don’t try to help narc to find anything he lost, before anticipated visit…😢

Could the trauma of mania and psychosis cause a personality disorder later in life?

Thinking about sending this video to my husband “here, you have been warned “ 26:17 😅

Why a female on the thumbnail?