EFAP Mini: Reacting to Batwoman S02E01 with JLongbone, Critical Drinker and HeelvsBabyface 

"The suit is literal perfection." SEASON ONE: "It will be, when it fits a woman." SEASON TWO: "It will be, when it fits a black lesbian." SEASON THREE: "It will be, when it fits a transgender Eskimo in a wheelchair."

"Why are you wearing my missing sister's clothes?" "Because my mom died in childbirth."

Motivation for the characters Bruce Wayne: “My parents were murdered in front of me as a child. I must now train to become a symbol of hope and justice in this city filled with corruption and villainy. I do this so that no other person will go through what I went through.” Kate Kane: “I’m super, super gae and my old boinking buddy was kidnapped. I’ll just steal my cousin’s suit that I conveniently found and let people know I’m super, super gae.” Ryan: “I’m super, super oppressed” *Who let these hacks write a tv show?*

Now that a gay black woman is the lead, Luke has NO hope of ever being taken seriously by the writers. It was arguable if he was as progressive as Kate before, but now? He’s 100% outclassed.

We are the biggest BATWOMAN community, guys - lets keep this show alive for 10 more seasons!

RIP Plantie. 2021-2021.

I still just find it hilarious that they make their black woman replacement for Batwoman a homeless ex-con who, upon seeing a horrific crash that leaves multiple people dead around her, immediately loots the wreckage so she can go off on how much of a victim she is. Honestly, if they wanted to do the criminal angle, why not just copy Jason Todd or something? Maybe in the past, as a teenager, she tries to rob someone or Batman himself, he feels bad for her and takes her in. He then trains her as a Batgirl/Robin, but after he disappears in the show, she leaves herself. Only coming back to Gotham after hearing about Batwoman making the news, conveniently right after Kate Kane disappears. Just say she was in Bludhaven the entire time or something. It'd make much more sense, give her a backstory to play off of, and allow her to have Bat-person training.

Kryptonite poisoning facts that this show will get completely wrong: - It takes *years* of constant exposure to a *significant amount* of Kryptonite to get poisoned. - Kryptonite poisoning gives the afflicted cancer, presumably leukemia or skin cancer since it's never expressly stated that a specific organ is affected over the others. - Kryptonite is brittle like any sort of crystalline substance. This means shooting it out of a shotgun would turn it into dust or at least a spray of shards. Edit) In Batman/Superman: World's Finest, Joker breaks off a dragon statue made of Kryptonite with his bare hands and later Batman breaks off a piece of it with tweezers to log as evidence. I can't stress this enough, Kryptonite is NOT super durable on its own. You have to temper it in order to make it really tough, just like with pretty much anything else. Edit 2) This is why BatFleck has to do a bunch of special stuff to the Kryptonite he has in order to make the Kryptonite spear. He didn't just duck tape a stick to the shards of Kryptonite and go fight Clark. This is also how he is able to make Kryptonite gas grenades, because it's possible to change its state from solid to gas. When BvS makes more sense than you, you need to rethink your entire life. - If Kryptonite is lodged inside of someone's body for a few hours, as long as they get it all out, the wound will not have radiation poisoning effects on it because, once again, Kryptonite poisoning takes years of constant exposure to happen. - Lex Luthor injected Kryptonite into his bloodstream for several years before he showed any signs of cancer. So once again, a single Kryptonite bullet will not and cannot cause Kryptonite poisoning after a few hours. That's stupid. - Kryptonite poisoning was created as a poetic punishment for Lex Luthor because of his evil deeds with Kryptonite for all his years fighting against Superman. It is literally supposed to be a slow burn, cruel irony that the one substance he could count on to hurt Superman was now the thing that would finally kill him in the slowest cruelest way possible. That's why it exists. Not as a plot device for some dumbass wannabe Bat whore.

Thoughts for consumption after this episode: Tommy Elliot was sent to Arkham with full knowledge of who Batman is, and he can prove it by telling anyone how to get into the Batcave. He can tell every criminal in Arkham how to get into the Batcave.

Calling it now Batwoman: You took everything from me! Alice: I don't even know who you are.

Jesus Christ, they really had the main character shout "Noo" over a dead plant.

The efap crew made me a person who is really concerned about Batwoman spoilers and I don't know if I should love them or hate them for it

The suit is literal perfection when it fits a "Black Lesbian Woman"

First 10 seconds are already gold.

Someone said this on JLongbone video so I'm gonna repeat it here. Why didn't they just make Sophie, Batwoman if they wanted a black batwoman? It would have made more sense.

I find it ironic how despite being a gay black woman in poverty, Ryan still acts more entitled than literal billionaire, Bruce Wayne.

"Batman gave up on us" "Well, at least Kate Kane is here to save us now!" "Yeah... about that..."

Gotta love how the wig survived the plane crash.

Can we get her to say "I'm part Blackwomen and part Batwomen" like it would fit the show already

Gentlemen, ladies, massives, Ewoks, and assorted Spuarts. We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of story-telling, which after a long decline tragically slipped into a second season of Batwoman. As the dignity of the writer's art is laid to rest, we call forth the hosts and guests of EFAP, to deliver the eulogy.

Anyone else remember when Julia brutally murdered a surrendering woman and it was never addressed again?

Napoleon: "I saw the crown of France laying on the ground, so I picked it up with my sword." Batwoman 2: "I saw the suit of Batwoman laying on the ground, so I picked it up. It fit perfectly."

It's official, Charles Dance needs to come in just to say: "yes this is very shit".

"I'm a minority who had a bad life, so I *deserve* this gun!" And they couldn't argue with that. The End.

When watching this episode, I initially thought we would get some sort of arc regarding Fake Bruce that would span at least a few episodes. Then I remembered the breakneck speed Batwoman goes at, and I instantly knew this would be wrapped up in only one episode.

finally a new season of efap minis

Imagine preaching to someone like LUKE, about race to his face no less! 😂

The day has finally come.....the day of unbridled praise

"Just back in town and there's already a dead hooker in the mansion on his first night. Typical Bruce." "I'm the 357th black child that year whose mother died!" "That's a weird flex, but what does it have to do with stealing?" "The batsuit can only be penetrated by this kryptonite bullet!" "Was the suit made from Superman's skin? Did you flay one of the Supes when travelling dimensions? Did you went all Hannibal Lecter on us, Kate?" Or: "The batsuit can only be penetrated by this kryptonite bullet!" "That's a pretty small sized shotgun shell." "It was made to be fired from a special pistol." "Yeah, okay. But it can still work with my good 'ol trusty double barrel, right?" "Fake Bruce stole the batmobile!" "Can't you remote control it like the batsuit?" "Remote control a car? Like starting or stopping it with a push of a button from a distance? Who would think of that?" "It's my fault. I told Kate to fly to Mordor to destroy the bullet. I should have known, that there was a reason why Frodo didn't use the eagles!"

I'm black and I'm tired of the constant my actions are justified because I am a statistic narrative that these shows force in turning it into social/political commentary. I started reading the batwoman comics and Kate Kane was kicked out of the military because of the don't as, don't tell policy that was reversed in the obama presidency but they set this show after the obama presidency while the comics are set before so that was solely commentary dialogue. just sucks that we live in an era where social and political commentary are prioritized over a good story and good characters.

For all of you keeping track of the number of people Alice has murdered, don’t forget the girl that was still in FakeBruce’s bed. When Alice murdered the first, FakeBruce’s angrily pointed out that she hadn’t come to the house alone. Considering that Alice then proceeded to stay in Wayne manor at her leisure while FakeBruce went off, it seemed pretty clear that she killed the other girl as well.

Hot Take: Alice's horseshit plan to have Jakob shoot Batwomen is kinda hilarious and wished they ended season 1 with that.

You guys skipped over the best part, where Alice literally states “I have no motivation anymore, I’ve decided I just want to be random”

I'm invested in this show like I'm invested in GameStop

"I'm a number. I'm the 327th baby of a black woman who died during childbirth that year." I can't believe they wrote that in. I'm so confused what this means or is supposed to mean. Obviously they phrased it poorly, but that's not what I'm talking about. How does that justify anything? She's supposed to be making an argument why her wearing a batsuit is a good idea. "I'm a number." doesnt mean anything. Anyone can say that. Why does is sound like she thinks that black women dying from childbirth is somehow someone else's fault? Why does she know how many black women died that year during childbirth? How do you even look that up? Why would you to begin with? What level of victim complex are you on, my dudette?

Again, more people probably watched this premier live then there were people watching the actual first episode's premier live.

9,000 members in the subreddit vs 12,000 views in 90 mins🤣 We really may be the largest Batwoman fan community on the internet. REJOICE BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!!

Oh no she's even more unlikable than Kate. At least Kane was so cringe sometimes that it was funny.

Is 'Batwoman Historian' a title comparable to the illustrious title of 'Banescholar'?

I am so happy that AZ and Jlongbone are in the EFAP mini love there reaction video's to batwhaman season 1. Now they watch the insanity together.

As was foretold by the ancient spiders, the tale of Batwoman continues. When we left off last season, the beloved yet terrible Ruby Rose had left the show, leaving our heroes distraught and concerned for the “quality” of the series. Alice was free, Mouse was dead, Mary was trying to help, Sophie was doing something, Luke was a Muffin, the Crows went to war against Batwoman, and the scene was set for Hush to take up the role of Bruce Wayne, much to the anger, disappointment, and NOUGH’s of our crew. With Javicia Leslie now taking the Mantle of Batwoman, MauLer, Rags, Metal and Fringy prepare themselves to reenter the putrid miasma of rancid writing and horrendous acting known Season 2. They are joined by fellow Batwoman aficionados JLongBone, HeelvsBabyface, and Critical Drinker, though who knows how long all of them will last. Will the 2nd season push this show into a new heights, or will the writing and acting serve to plummet the show into new depths? We do not know. All we can truly ask is of the CW’s Batwoman Season 2 is... Whadya bring me? EDIT: On an semi-unrelated note, Ruby Rose is to replace Ellen/Elliot Page in Buzzfeeds upcoming GamerGate movie 1UP, so that’s something we can look forward to!

I refuse to believe that ANYONE was more excited for Batwoman S2 than the Toxic Brood 👊🏼 🎉 🎊

Can we please get hot Luke a decent career after this shitshow is over! That man deserves a hell of alot better than this.

Adopted mother:killed by blunt force trauma Ryan: well a few heart pumps should fix ya back up real good.

this serie really represents wokism : Ryan thinks she deserves the batsuit not because of what she thinks and what she does, but because of the number of her «victim cards», because of characteristics which have nothing to do with being a hero

Okay who spilt the tism milk 🦏🍼🍼🍼 -Bilbo Batwoman

Hey DasBoShitt, thanks man. Seriously thank you. I cannot imagine the brain aneurysm you must have experienced editing this episode. So thank you for all your efforts and the fantastic editing.

I personally don’t find this season as funny as the first. That’s partly because the politics, and Batwoman herself, went from laughable to frustrating, but also because Jacob is so sad, maybe the only time the show has made me feel what I think it intended.

Bruce wayne spent years training in martial arts and his understanding of detective work with the intent of becoming a vigilante. He devoted himself to becoming Batman to a point where Bruce Wayne became the mask. (mind you, I'm pulling most of this from TDK trilogy since this show frequently invites comparison to it) Kate Kane was top of her class at a military academy she dropped out of and took some weird survivalist freezing water training. She decides to be Batwoman for the specific reason of saving her ex and then decides to stick with it. Ryan is an MMA fighter that got sent to a women's prison for 18 months and thinks that means she has a degree in criminal psychology. She wants the suit for revenge. TLDR: As the mantle passes, it seems that it requires less experience, training, and motive to be Gotham's protector. Honestly if you want to be Batman/woman, ask yourself this, can you get past Luke?

Guess Luke has to "calibrate" the batarangs for the new girl again.😂😂

With how insanely casual Alice is about throwing knives into random people's necks because of her daily pity-party rampages, it's a miracle to me that she hasn't been caught and detained or shot. Forensic science is _thoroughly_ advanced nowadays, and she just keeps murdering people in the worst possible places like they're just gonna fade out of existence like video game characters. I mean, seriously. Wayne Manor? Really? Like that girl's friend or her family or anyone who saw her on the way over aren't going to notice that she took a trip into Wayne Manor and just disappeared.

Imagine if they got Charles Dance to play Alfred - that would MAKE this show!

They brought in Kevin Conroy for that SPECIFICALLY to piss people like us off.

Years later, still laughing so much to this!

​fringy has remained true to his blood pact: all hail the froggo!

I just rewatched all the batwoman EFAP minis in preparation for this momentous occasion

Also remember Terry McGuiness? The guy who had to earn the right to become Batman and when he stole the batsuit was paralyzed by the security override by Bruce Wayne himself and told to return the suit? Remember how he needed Bruce to guide him and how he had a cool personality of an optimist and was a smart ass and would make mistakes that got him in deepshit and forced him to grow as a person? He was a Whitney bitchy “muh oppression” token of the week and he damn sure didn’t get to push Bruce Wayne around. God what a world we live in.

Thank you Mauler for reminding me of Crisis on Infinite Earth. There is ONE good scene in that entire 5 part cross over and its when Smallville Superman punches Lex Luthor because he gave up his superpowers and kryptoniteis just a rock to him. Like RegularGuy superman still beating Lex's ass is funny (I liked Tom Welling a lot as a young clark)

They didn't even hear the best line " time to feel powerful"

I know fringy said there's no way there'll be a season 3 but consider this: do you really think the CW would have the stones to cancel a gay black woman? 🤔

The missile is going to come back in episode 6

Wanda vision has 225 million dollar budget, good actors, beloved comic book characters and the mcu backstory. What do we have? A gay bar, I think.

YES DO IT!!! I love how she is supposed to be homeless and have been so for a long time but she always has styled hair, perfect makeup, and wears new trending cloths and shoes in every scene. Oh gawd that scream when he killed her plant is the best. She didn't even scream like that when her parents were killed.

Jlongbones laugh is gold!

Remember when the batsuit was a tool used by batman to enhance his abilities (and hide his identity) and not the source of his potential to fight crime? That was a nice era in media. When heroes were made based on their personalities and desire to do good or punish crime and not actually based on what powers they had.

The batmobile here looks like the starter car you'd race with in a Need for Speed game or Burnout...

I don't know why but Jlongbone's profile pic looks like Judge dread is holding a baseball glove even though it's just a shoulder pad.

"Don't [Try to save Batman] It [the electricity] will kill you" Says Supergirl, who had a recurring villain literally made of electricity who was unable to seriously harm her, has superspeed that she has previously used to put herself in the way of bullets from across a room. As she watches a man, who she needs to save to save the universe, get pushed into a generator and electrecuted to death over the course of eight full seconds.

"So we're not getting a Batwoman Season 3 I guess" Ohhhh boy who's gonna tell him...

Good to know that the first black Batwahmen got the KryptoClap, and she didn't even have to rub one of the two Lesbones

Favorite line from S1 EFAP coverage is still MauLer saying "down in the God damn diddly basement!" We miss you, Ned Flanders.

Javicia Leslie's character, Ryan Wilder can be summed up as: "Is it because I is black?" EDIT: Seems people don' naw de ref-fur-rense, innt bruv. Just keep it real or ya a batty boi. Westside, aiiiiiiiiiii!

Fringy with his "nough" paper beating on the dude representing the show's production team is the best part of this video.

Someone should really do a video comparing Arthur talking to his social worker to Ryan talking to her parol officer. It says so much about the writers that when Ryan goes off on her parol officer how she's a victim and it's not her fault, it's everyone else's. It's *society's* fault. But in Arthur's scene the social worker comes back at him with the fact that no one is out to get him, it's just that no one gives a shit about him or her. Really makes you think.

Bruce Wayne in the past: "I'm leaving all behind. Whomever comes after may have my building, my corporation, my bank account, my Batcave, my Batsuit, all my gadgets. But not my car! No way in hell!"

JLongbone’s reaction to Rags’ “my boypussy” line is so hilarious.

(19:03) Rags: "I came as soon as I heard Kate Kane died." (Shortly after, I returned to Gotham.) I swear I thought that was going to be a sex joke.

This is the only reason ive come back to efap in a while

There's so many things wrong with how they wrote off kate... So I'm gonna list them! 1. Luke already knows how to destroy kryptonite. He literally did it in the finale of the last episode. 2. Does Kate have no form of communication with Supergirl? They've met twice now. There has to be some way to call her in during the next terrible crossover. Supergirl could fly over to her city in a matter of minutes. 3. If she wanted Supergirl's help to destroy the kriptonite, wouldn't she have to bring it with her? She brought her suit, so she surely isn't worried about getting caught with it. 4. Isn't Kate a billionaire? Surely security would be pretty airtight on her jet since she knows people like Alice would be out to get her. It wouldn't make sense if she was flying publicly, but surely it would be tough to know the exact flight Kate was on if that was the case. Maybe this will be explained with some offhanded line in the future, like everything else. 5. Why would they wait to blow the plane up once it got back to Gotham? If it's a flyable distance, that's a long time to wait. Once again, this one depends on how the explosion happened. 6. No matter how the plane exploded, wouldn't it be much easier just to take her out when she's just walking around? As the EFAP crew said, a plot sniper would be very handy. This show sucks. I hope it never ends.

How to write a character: State gender State skin colour State sexual identity State victimhood status Make invincible and flawless... Make every character love them 😉

...wait, why wouldn’t Sophie be the logical choice to replace Kate as Batwoman? Black lesbian-check. Combat training-check. Emotional reason to want Batwoman to continue-check. We already know who she is. Why create someone new? Is Meagan Tandy not gay? Is that it?

21:46 Drinker was almost right, in the end Jacob didn’t go missing, but was imprisoned (in a world where no criminal goes to jail or stays in Arkham more than a few days 😂)

15:43 Guys... that's just how CPR works. Step 1: Roll them face-up. Step 2: Lift the chin to open the airway. Step 3: Start compressions on the chest. Step 4: Cry out in a melodramatic fashion to try and convince their soul not to leave their body, and the cringier the better. Everybody knows that. Maybe you all need a refresher course.

Ryan served 18 months in Blackgate, where she had to be "improving herself not just in body but also in mind" to survive. Well. All I'm saying if prisons produce martial artist criminologist masterminds then it's safe to say that the prison system does work.

What'd ya bring me?!

First JLongbone's video and now the long awaited EFAP Mini. Batwoman is finally back!

I'm here, almost a year after, just to say... "What you bring me?" :D

I'm disappointed they didn't comment on "Bruce" singing "Jingle bells. Batman smells. Robin laid an egg."

"it's all connected" All connected, yes, connected by random chance. Epic writing. :P I can almost see Alice going "yeah, I killed so many people, this was bound to happen", but that would almost make sense so, no. I wonder if Alice's character arc for this season will be, unironically, to learn to tie up loose ends.

*plant dies Black Banther Woman: "Nough!"

Batsuit gets stolen... Comics Batman: Don't worry, Alfred, I've got loads of spares and contingencies I've saved for a day like this. CW Bruce Wayne impersonator: Luke, where's the suit? Stolen? Fuck, where's my shotgun and where did I park my car?

The "look at our Gay Bar, we have a Gay Bar" moment (regarding progressive points), made my picture a rainbow-shirted John Hammond. "You have a Gay Bar? Say that again." "We have a Gay Bar!"

What are the odds that the suit just happens to fall into the lap of another lesbian who has a reason to have a personal vendetta with Alice? That has to be every single lesbian in all of Gotham that shows up in this show

"Because I'm a number I am the 327th baby of a black woman who died of childbirth that year" SMH, Who wrote this?!?!

I'm sure somewhere along the line, someone joked that the first episode of Batwoman Season 2 would have the new Batwoman rattle off social statistics in dialogue. Someone *joked* that. Yet here we are, and it's real.

Iunno what's worse. That the batmobile is a c7 corvette with a terrible bodykit held on with sheet metal screws, or the fact that it couldn't outrun a 50 year old Ford Econoline with the 60 horsepower falcon six, weighed down as a fucking RV.

Fringy at 49:00 when AZ mentions the ratings: "So we're not getting a batwoman season 3, are we ?" Me, now: "So that was a fucking lie"

You will all see the brilliance of the writers when they reveal the fact that the missile (that is missing) actually went into a wormhole and travelled back in time and hit the plane that crashed... This season is going to go full Nolan...

I swear if she gets powers - lex got cancer with kryptonite so.....

Why is the bat suit treated like beskar in mandalorian...