distracting yourself or changing your external appearance to improve your anxiety is like trying to fix a leaking pipe with your bare hands. it might work for a little bit but it only really stops the symptoms instead of getting rid of the cause. try doing something like meditation, so that rather than running away from negative thoughts you just notice their presence but not engage with them.
it depends, some problems can't be rationalised and solved. As someone who tries to solve every feeling i can tell you sometimes distracting yourself is an extremely effective way to deal with negative emotions. Knowing when to use it is important though.
i just lost 50 pounds and im going to start bulking up with muscle. i can tell you that im less worried about how i speak now. its mainly because all humans are more shallow than they will admit. the average person will have more grace for an attractive persons mistakes than an unattractive persons mistakes regardless of gender. its also about how confident you are after making a speech error. a person who handles a speech error with confidence will be less ridiculed for it. most insecurity starts with ridicule.
Agreed 100% As soon as you ''accept'' your negative emotions and feelings, only then, you are able to make some kind of peace with them and manage them. Just allow them to be and let them pass. It is not as easy as it sounds, but definitely the better way of connecting with yourself and accepting all your feelings, either positive or negative without judgement.
@@caob1876 Maybe trying to solve your feelings is what causes some negativity (not judging here, at all, I am still and think aways will be a beginner :), although it seems to me distracting yourself is running away from the feeling and by doing that, it will come back even stronger. All emotions and feelings are valid and important, it doesnt matter what those feelings are. Allow yourself to feel, don't judge, don't run and they will move on.
It's very important subject for all no one is perfect but through knowledge we can improve and become happy and show concern over others. We have to live and work homoniuosly
The part where you said is difficult to explain that through the gym you gain confidence. Not only is it about gaining confidence through your bodys new physical structure but even more importantly through doing these things it creates momentum. Momentum to have the confidence to do a speech or ask out a girl. We can take an example from surfers and musicians and how they are very successful with dating due to their confidence. Contrarily those who have more office type jobs are much less confident as they are all day used to an environment that doesnt create momentum and infact it isolates them from social interactions. (they are just not used to it and need to loosen up before something socially challenging) Thanks for the vid, decided to share my thoughts ^^
That's because you don't need to be Einstein to talk to people, all you need is confidence. You can be highly intelligent and regard other people as stupid and you would only be hurting yourself. Despite what is popular amongst internet " intellectuals," social interaction is essential in keeping the human mind healthy. I think people suffering from low self esteem try to make up for it in other areas. So they try to elevate themselves by disconnecting and obsessing about things that are not important to most others. That behavior IS stupid. I don't doubt ANYONES ability to know OR be able to learn the things I already know. You can either choose to tune in to the frequency of people you regard as "not bright" or just completely tune out and resent others for not trying to tune in to yours. There will be people out there that can tune in to your frequency and they will appreciate you for it but those people are rare. When you're a people magnet EVERYONE is tuning in to your frequency, which means you are easy to pick up by others. You are funny, charming, neutral, assertive, respectful, reasonable, and inspiring to others. That's what a people magnet is, and everyone can be that person. But if you never try and turn cynical, you have only you to blame. Of course it helps if you're attractive. Confidence is key. *I'd like to add that you cannot possible know if a people magnet is truly "bright" or not unless you talk about Life with them, and not people or ideas. Thoughts?
Your videos are changing my life. I subscribed weeks ago and every day I go over the same videos or others I haven't seen and I feel it's helping me a lot!!! Thank you for making these videos!!!
Hi Gary! Thank you for taking the time and effort! It helps a lot! The nuggets of good ideas from Daniel Goodman are presented in a good pace plus your ideas and examples helps 😀! As you feel good helping others, I say, you're also on your way to success!
Please go into more detail in your videos! I thoroughly enjoy watching your videos because this is a great way to share knowledge but for those that want a deeper understanding of the topics you mention, please either go into more detail or provide links for viewers to review. Thanks for what you do!
Empathy is not a skill but a set of skills and attributes. For instance someone can intuitivley figure out the emotions other people have, but not give a shit about them. On the other hand someone could be struggling to understand other people and pissing them off without meaning it, but actually feel sorry for others. Moreover, empathy can fluctuate with mood and sympathy. That's why depressive persons can be dangerous.
"For instance someone can intuitivley figure out the emotions other people have, but not give a shit about them." In that case, they would have empathy, at least in the most literal sense. "On the other hand someone could be struggling to understand other people and pissing them off without meaning it, but actually feel sorry for others" This would also be empathy in the most literal sense. However, I agree that the intended meaning was beyond the literal.
This channel is great. Sometimes when I'm watching I start laughing because you begin to answer questions that I didn't know I wanted to ask. Keep it going!
Increasing your EQ: 1. Self-awareness 2. Managing emotions 3. Self-motivation 4. Empathy 5. Handling relationships All of these 5 points are a part of everyone's life. Yet these are exactly the skills, which are lacking the most. It needs to start with children and education. We can teach already our children from an early age how to work with their emotions and save them a lot of pain and heartache in the future. My question: WHY aren't we doing this already? The educational system needs to change. asap.
I don't usually leave comments on youtube videos that I watch. In fact, this is my first comment I'm leaving on youtube. But I want you to know that your videos are very inspiring. Keep up the great work!
Awesome videos! I just found this channel and man oh man its great! and he is so young to be able to read so many books and understand them so well. Kudos to you!
Great video and awesome animation! A yes-and I have that I'm not sure is in the book or not for 6:13, similarly - if you're at a good energy level and worked really hard to get there, limit your time with those morose folk. Help 'em out as best you can, but avoid hanging around them for too long - especially if they're committed to being miserable. Bad energies are contagious too. I learned this the hard way. Sometimes people don't want to feel better; they just want to bring others down to their level. It doesn't make them bad people. That's just a habit they have that can vacuum you in if you're not cautious. Thanks again for these videos. Love them!
I really really needed this today. Had some shameful reactions yesterday. I always am subscribed but never really watched until I saw it on the front page of Reddit today. Thanks for this.
awesome video man, I really appreciate the work you are doing and I am really grateful for your channel, please produce more of these fantastic videos. 👍
sometime I think you are my brother we have almost everything in common thanks brother for your videos best channel on RU-vid for me:) don't stop uploading you inspire me and give me hope I too love web development and physical workout:)
How long have you been making videos on RU-vid? I can see your channel is growing, you're doing a great job. I can't wait to see you hit 1 million subscribers! Good luck my man!
AMAZING video and information there! thanks for the content.. I actually already do some of these things that you say in the video but it really helped me A LOT. and I'm sharing with my friends as I speak. I have subscribed for sure ;) haha
Fantastic work, but I'd draw a distinction between cognitive and emotional empathy, because feeling what someone else feels is not necessarily the same thing as understanding what they're feeling, and why they're feeling it.
the marshmallow test was written also on "the power of habits" book by Charles Duhigg, which I recommend if you have a bad habit driving you down in a lower state. By the way, good job with the video, keep up the good work.
I'm reading The Marshmallow Test by Walter Mischel right now! It's wonderful and informative, and when applying some of the strategies mentioned, can be very helpful. It's slow, but I can see my some of my less favorable tendencies changing for the better. It's good stuff.
I think i have a slightly high IQ, and slightly low EQ. I can verbally and conceptually grasp alot of things. Putting them in practice is the hard part. This has always created a big gap in expectations and reality for my performance. Even tho i can always convince people i'm motivated and i'm always working towards a goal. This is very common for people with ADD. It's so hard not being able to live according to your principles, i get frustrated and/or angry alot when i can't meet my expectations, also i have a hard time balancing between not being a doormat and overreacting. Emotion overwhelms me and i become hessitant to act because i'm afraid to be wrong. I'm going to read the book you summarized, it looks like it could help me. Now that you've read this far into my story i'll ask something. Does anyone recognize this? how do you deal with this? is this a part of adolescence or a part of character? (or lack there-of to be pessimistic)
Dude unless you are on drugs or alcohol or under severe emotional stress do this: Make small goals, short goals, and achieve them. Allow yourself to fuck up but not too badly, you can recover from almost everything as long as you don't fuck up too bad. So don't kill a bitch. You sound anxious. Try to calm down, everyone else around you doesn't know what the fuck they are doing. Why should you? Soothe yourself in the fact that you know you're doubting yourself but so is everyone else, and YOU by knowing this can be ahead of them. Make them feel secure by being secure yourself. Also my honest opinion: You don't have any principlces. You are trying so hard to convince others of what you think they want to hear that you have lost any real respect you may have had for yourself by not living up to these expectations or principles that were not yours to begin with. Your problem with being a doormat and overreacting is because you don't respect yourself and have not found your own principles yet. You are a child of thinking, time for you to become a man of feeling. Learn to respect, and love yourself and stop being too hard on yourself. Tell me if you read this.
Thank you for the consoling kind words, i am not under stress nor do i have an addiction. i like your description of self consciousness as a reason to feel stable. You describe principles as being a manifestation of internalized fears, yet later you claim I have yet to obtain self-respect by establishing principles. I find it hard to understand your take on principles since you seem to contradict yourself. I'd like to add that my principles are internalized only by reading a lot of inspiring literature and psychology in which i have established my own values. So they are internalized, but out of love and not so much out of fear. I feel pretty confident when in a state of rest but the heat of the moment makes me anxious and this creates the gap I described between my established principles and my acting in everyday situation. Your words have convinced me that a lot of people struggle with this issue whether they know it or not. It seems I'll be able to improve solely by being self aware. The anxiousness in my last message which you have successfully sensed is mostly due to a stressful event earlier that day. It overwhelms me every time. Thank you for your words they truly mean a lot to me.
actually your first message boosted my ego a bit, it's just that i don't understand how you tell me that I don't have any principles... Or that those principles are based upon fear. I don't think my principles are established out of fear since i spend alot of time contemplating rationally. It's just that the feeling of being overwhelmed that immobilizes me. Thank you for your help but be careful when you assume i'm wrong when i make corrections in your analysis (about MY emotions mind you). I'm sorry but your assumptions are not correct, as well as on my ego. You said both accurate and inaccurate things, it's fine! it helps me to talk about it so thank you.
Then you are not fully understanding me. I believe you are in a state of internal struggle because you do not feel that those principles apply to you even though you want or think you want them to. Lets say you read somewhere that you shouldn't allow others to touch your face, because it's disrespectful. Then when it happens to you, you feel nothing. You do not feel disrespected, offended, you may even have liked it. Now imagine having to react to this in the moment, your emotion is telling you one thing and your intellect is telling you another. How will you ever be able to react accordingly when there is a disconnect? You are not familiar with how it feels like to be disrespected by someone touching your face because YOU do not feel disrespected by someone touching your face. You need to stop intellectualizing everything and try to experience more emotion. Humans are not machines. You are actually the one making the assumptions based on your misunderstanding of my comment. I did not suggest fear but rather insecurity. Because you feel like you need to know what your principles are, so you grasp at ones you read about it books. To have principles you need to live life, you can get ahead by reading but in the end you need to experience the world to learn about what you think is important. You are not alone in this, everyone around you is doing the same thing, in their own way. You are disrespecting yourself by not experiencing and allowing yourself to create your own principles, when you stop doing that and start finding your own. That's when you'll be able to be calm in the moment.
Hey PP! Great video. I wanted to put forth a request, and it goes as follows, Could you please after each video, provide a cheat sheet to all that you've talked about? This helps with being mindful about each one of the values, without forgetting and being able to visualize them all at once, so that one can make out how would they work. Thank you!
great video, keep this good work up and you'll get far. little tip: stop saying "so" at the start of every subject or paragraph. that's all, good luck.
Aaaaah... that is super helpful. I will get around to watching all your videos (thanks for humoring me, I would have found it within a day or two but it means a lot that you're so attentive with your fans)
which animator do you use? . It makes your video simple,cool and very catchy. I understand everything you explain here. You are doing great job buddy .
I also watch a little bit of garyVee and I think he is a really nice person that's my impression and I can really learn something from him. Due to the fact that I am really interested in many topics I am also very interested in psychology and especially in practicality so I got to your channel and I think you cover first cool books and provide a lot of value. For me this way of learning is just incredible and I think it will be growing even more in the future. Keep going :)
Hi great video, have you ever considered to de-ess your vocal track? there are tons of free plug-ins that makes your vocal track less painful to the ears due to the 'S' sound.
Yesterday, I had an event at college about how you should manage your money. Our speaker said money should be taught in psychology, because that is one the things that us as human beings we get emotional with. So I would suggest you to do a video on how we should see money. And control our emotions about money.
Being a Business Management major in college, I can tell you that they emphasize EQ above all else here. But, considering its a social science, I can see why.
