I love t the way you teach and encourage us in our lives . It really helps us to reach our goals in ours lifes. Thank you so much. May God bless you and guide you forever in your life
I can totally relate to this situation. I'm working on facing my fears and my anxiety when I have to talk with someone in English. I think it's just a matter of practice and one thing I learned is if we want to be comfortable with something first we have to be uncomfortable with it.
Check my comment to see the tricks I used. Now, I’m a chatter box. I still have an accent. I still mispronounce words here and there but I’m no longer afraid. Upward and onward! 😊
I'm proud of my accent when I speak English 'cause I'm not a native English speaker and nothing's gonna change it. I'll always be a native Brazilian Portuguese speaker and I feel amazing 'cause I love my mother tongue. I wanna improve my English skills, but I wanna be a Brazilian guy who speaks English and I think I don't need to deny my identity to achieve this goal.
Being in public setting and talking to people is very intimating and nerve-wracking but when you conquer your fears and have a conversation freely. It's make a lot of difference. I learn to not let the fears get on the way of things that I love to do. The fear of authority is real, I'm feeling the same way right now but this video helps me a lot. Thank you Hadar.
I used to feel the same way, she is feeling. But now I have a different mindset. I speak freely even when I make a mistake, I Correct myself and I move on, and I don't dwell on it...
Most people can't understand that all fear that occurs to you may be imaginary, per se. Your brain just makes up lots of assumptions that make you afraid to start talking but others may not really care how you will talk. The point is that you greatly focus on this problem.
Hi Hadar! Thank you for making this video. This week I've made a video of myself speaking English for a friendly group, but I had one particular job in my mind where I would need English, and I thought if I fail to speak English well on the video I'm not qualified for the job. I got extremally self-conscious, I was like the worst version of myself. It took me like 98764 takes and still was not good enough. Until I realized I was having an outbreak of some mental disorder :) I called my mom, and she reminded me that I'd had a very similar condition before my final exams, she even had taken me to a psychiatrist! So I realized it must be some characteristic of my personality. It doesn't reflect the reality, I did pretty well in some of those exams. We human beings should be patient to ourselves...
I am worried about what other people will think of me. And now it became easier for me to speak English. But now I see that this is not only my problem, many people experience such a problem.
Yeah, this happens to me constantly, specially at work when having remote meetings. I have noticed that even my personality changes. I did not know how to embrace it until now. Thank you for sharing this video, it helped me start to see things the other way around. I am becoming trilingual now, I rock, f*** anxiety and internal self doubt.
Hello Hadar, thanks for such an amazing video, you are so inspiring. I have anxiety disorder and I go through the same thing daily... client site job😅. I wish that nobody would come to me to talk but I don't know somehow I end up having a conversation with them. I stumble, fumble and feel nervous too while speaking however I don't run away, I don't make excuses. I also feel bad, since I know I could have done better but after a while I just come to terms with my mind. BTW, I am smart, interesting and a great conversationalist. 😊😊
Yes you are! You are smart, and also sensitive and inspiring!! Thank you for sharing. You are an example that it is possible. Breathe in and out and have faith that people want you to succeed.
I opened that video esp because I have a non-native english friend who speaks English fluently and his accent is awesome and he always says that mine is perfect as well but I always see him jugde people around me because of their accents and their pronunciation , speaking frankly I also feel hesitating while talking with him , though I can speak with a native speaker without having the feeling of fear that I might make mistakes ,maybe I didn't overcome this obstacle but I can't deny that everytime I try to do and speak English with him and I feel fear , I just open another video of pronunciation to improve my accent and guess what I found out that I have some errors which I didn't realise maybe it's bad to judge people but we have to make use of these obstacles and use them for own good to improve and make progress till we feel that we are good enough
Hi Hadar, Thank you for your excellent videos. It is my first time to comment on any youtube videos. I've pretty much just been a watcher (Don't know is this is a correct word but I think you pretty much get me) but I couldn't help to comment on this one because I totally agree with many of what you said and also maybe I thought something I can share with regarding this topic. I'm a native Japanese and Spanish speaker(Since I have both Backgrounds) and I believe I feel ok with English, can watch American Movies with pretty much no problem but my accent has always been influenced on my both mother languages (In this case, specially Spanish). I gave up to improve my speaking ability in English maybe because I live in a non-English speaking country or maybe because I lost confident in speaking like native. It is until now that I realized by trying to learn a very sound oriented and tonal language (In this case Vietnamese and I am still a beginner) that I realized that what I was lacking in English speaking or accent was just practice. All these time I had been using my mother languages as an excuse that I will never be able to speak like native speakers. Vietnamese is a very difficult language to speak since if you don't sound almost exactly the sound(like or close to natives), they will not understand you. When started learning the language, it felt almost impossible to sound like them, but I had no choice and luckily I had a patient tutor who helped me practice for hours to sound correctly. I've learned that how you sound depends on the shape of your mouth and when you learn a new language, and specially new sound, Most likely is that at the beginning, your face or mouth muscles are not developed to be able to sound that particular sound (because your native language will not require you that particular shape) . If you practice and put time, Most likely you will be able to Sound the sound you want. And here is the funny thing. At the beginning, let say you are able to sound like you wanted. I notice or the tutor noticed that at the end of the lesson, I was not being able to sound like I could. This is because my mouth or face is not used to constantly producing that sound, so Even if you can do it a couple of time, at the end of the lesson I was tired (literally you feel your face tired) and not being able to produce the sounds I want to, or that at the beginning of the lesson I was able to. I came to learn that these is like muscle training. If you can do only 5 push ups, Is very difficult to do 50 push ups in a row in a day. But if you keep increasing or adding amount slowly, in few months (or some people in weeks) You will be able to reach the 50 times in a row. Is a matter of getting used to. Thanks to Vietnamese, I gained confidence that I think I can adapt these practice method to English too, and that is what brought me to your channel, but something more important that I notice, and of course you say it a million time, is that It is not necessary to sound like native. There are tons of people who speak English as second language and I think if a native speaker judge them by their accent, you don't need to pay attention to that person. Simply not worth it. But why keep trying to improve then(try to reach native level)? I think the goal is to speak clearly as you mention and more importantly is because you are interested in their culture. Is not about your accent but is more about your interest in their culture, or can even be in that person in particular. When the personal goal becomes something higher (Higher than learning just for your job, or because you have to, or because you want to get a higher position) and endless, and the process becomes fun, someday you reach a level that you won't even care how others think about you. You just want to keep learning to improve, because is fun and you like it. Because English is currently the most used language, I believe it is important to learn, U have tons of material in English too, but your experience as non native English person will always be unique and the content you speak is always more important than the accent. I know people have different goals, I'm no one to say anything about that but at least I am in this channel because simply I like English and I believe that the learning process is endless. So I encourage people to just have fun in your wonderful videos. They are such a nice and positive minded, encouraging channel! Thank you so much for your dedication and excellence!
I absolutely love every single word you wrote here, and I agree with everything you said.(plus, I’m super proud that you decided to write your first RU-vid comment here). Your experience is so interesting, and the knowledge you shared is valuable. Yes, it’s all about the muscle work! You have to start with that, and train and practice until you make it your own. I also agree that an accent conveys the culture and the attitude, not just the message. But more than anything, improving the accent puts the speaker in a place of power and knowledge which is super important. Thanks again for sharing your insights with us, sending you a big hug!
You're very professional. You know what to say and how to say. We need more of that. You're not only teaching English, but teaching to deal with those negatives feeling that we all have. We can apply that in other fields as well. Very useful and inspiring. Thank for your commitment and props for your videos.
You are so right! Anxiety just gets in the middle of our capabilities and mess out with our purposes... it is like a ghost that we need to face and dissolve before it gets stronger.
Thank you for this video. Being a non-native English speaker I go through social anxiety while speaking in English with my coworkers- a part of it is because I’ve had a bad boss in my previous job who demeaned me quite frequently in front of the team for no real reason. So I gradually developed this fear of speaking at work. How unfortunate. Thank you for sharing this video, I truly appreciate it
You hit it on the head again! Brilliant! Two things I’d add: One, have a sense of humor about your speech patterns. Seriously, having a lighthearted approach to your accent, stumbling, stammering, or whatever it is that hinders you helps a lot. Two, I used to get tongue tied on certain combinations of words. So I started practicing the sentence starting from the last word and adding the preceding word one by one, until I reached the first word in the sentence. That works like magic!
I am just preparing for a job interview in English and came across your video. This is exactly what I need at the moment! Thanks a milion, again and again ! ❤
Thank you so much Hadar! This is so me! When I'm focused on something and I forget for a moment that my first language is not English, everything seems to flow so easily. But when I'm conscious of it, nervous, or even angry, it all falls apart. It is frustrating. I will definitely try your tips.
Impressive,I'm not a native speaker but I want to improve my accent as I follow American accent however,my spoken English is good.also I want to speak at advance level.
Thanks for your video!!! I went to an interview this afternoon, and the boss said my English was terrible T.T THis is the first time that one native speaker told me my English is not good. Your video makes my day.
Actually it happened to me when i studied in the UK. At the first of three months, I felt pretty much isolated while having to change. I was getting started to talk with different person and six months later, i impressed by action, even I can shout out our the lectures and now I am falling in love in English. I know i am not perfect, while that makes my identify with my English accent. So, if anyone interested, I would like to share in details with you guys.
@Pam no worries, dear! I can understand what your situation is. Actually My accent was horrible before , a Chinese girl with a Japanese English-speaking accent. While, I was scoffed by our classmates, while it makes me more special. cuz my teacher and people remember me and when I ask them whether they would like to help, surprisingly I got the positive answer. so what I could say is to find someone who is willing to talk to u and build up your confidence, trust me, you are gonna do much better than me as long as you get out of your comfortable zone. Hope it helps.
That was another fab video! Tongue twisters in the morning and the mantra that I've created to repeat to myself is helping me to feel as speacial as you just said we're! You're not just a coach, mentor or teacher, you're a friend to your peeps and we can feel your generosity and passion in every work you do! You light up our souls! Thank you so much for that! 😘
Speaking with accent makes you special and unique. Because I speak with accent, I have beautiful girlfriend who I love . She refuses to correct me when I speak and started to speak just like me :). Girls love guys with accent. Men love girls who speak with accent. When you think positive, good things happen. Thank you Hadar for this nice video.
Hi Hadar. I’m a recent subscriber and have been binge watching your videos lately. Even though I had English in school from kindergarten, and married an American, it wasn’t until 10 years ago, that I moved to the US and had to REALLY use English 24/7. While for the most part, native speakers are very gracious and understanding of foreign accents, sometimes they inadvertently, make us non native speakers, very self conscious. I’ve had many instances where people are like, “Oh, I love your accent”, or friends poking a bit of fun at how I pronounce certain words. I’m still learning to not get annoyed by it or allow that to stop me from saying what I got to say. Anyway, I love your passion for this subject and thank you for your helpful videos. Could you please do a video about the difference between “flower” and “flour” please? Also on how to pronounce “speak” properly. I’m Hispanic so you’ll understand that’s a sensitive one, lol. Sorry this was so long!!
Pilar Acosta hi! native english-speaker here. i don't think there's actually a difference between "flower" and "flour" in terms of pronunciation. i do have a tiny bit of a southern accent, though, so that could have something to do with it. but still. it's actually something that people occasionally joke about, especially when someone says "flower" and another person hears "flour" or vice versa. but anyway :D
Pilar Acosta I feel you :). The “I love your accent” used to annoy the s**t out of me. I was thinking: But I don’t!! I’ve been working on it forever and I hate my accent! I hate the fact that I sound different! But I’m starting to accept it and make peace with it. I’m sure you are an amazing English speaker and just ignore any other thoughts :).
Csilla's Channel exactly!! In my head I sound exactly like them, lol. Besides, even native speakers have different accents depending where they live, so now I am more comfortable with the fact that I’ll always have one.
Why do you guys say that you will always have a foreign accent? Don’t you guys believe in yourselves? What about this woman right here? She had one too in the beginning as a 20 year old and was able to overcome with training.
I like very much that video. I'm studing English alone in my house, but yet have afraid on train comunicate other peoples, but also know I'll better each more days and get it speak with everybody... Thank you for your motivation and help, for me that's very important.
Hello Hadar! Thank you so much for your advices. This video was very helpful. On the other of course I sometimes feel fear when I am talking with native speakers. I remember when I was working in a hostel for backpakers as a receptionist in the front desk in Lima-Peru. One day arrived an american family who said that they already did two reservations in a private room but I just have one reservation and they were four people, also the hostel was full that day. She started to yelling me very badly, it was very embarassing for me I didn't know what to said. I just listened her and I couldn't understand her very well because she was angry and also she was talking quickly. Finally I said I'm sorry and I tried to give her a solution for the issue. However you are right, that was just one bad experience that I have been involved. Most of them were unforgettable experiences in the hostel. I saw that people tried to understand and I also saw that if they can understand what you want to say that is the most important. Of course we should try to get better and better the next time with preparation and practice.
hey everyone is Hadar thank you for joining me today I want to share with you a question I received from one of my followers on Instagram her name is Nadia and she's been struggling with anxiety around having conversation in English and this is what she writes she says I always get anxious at work with my co-workers and their director especially if I want to provide new ideas or explain some I always think that they are going to judge me and pretty much make fun of my accent I know I'm not supposed to think this way but this feeling is pressuring me I need your advice especially since I applied for a management position and I want to be confident to talk and express my abilities I know I have a lot to offer but I just stumble over my words when I'm nervous and always feel stuck when I start a conversation with people I work with I want to talk and interact but I always fail
I was thought my english is not that good before to watch your videos , now I realized that I 'm making progress with 'ur videos and improve my accent , thanks a lot
very well said! i have that feeling too and i hate it, what i did is to try to communicate eventhough i know i feel so slow but lil by lil just by practicing and be so so determined to learn, grow and improve well it will soon be better.
Hii! I've just discovered your videos and I want to thank you very much. I study Management in English, and even though most of the students and teachers are non-native English speakers, I'm feeling nervous and anxious when I have to speak. I am in year 2 of study and until now I avoid to speak with my teachers. Next week I have to present an important project and your videos help me a lot to become more confident.
Thank you Hadar ❤️ 👽👽👽👻👽 "thoughts create feelings 👽👽 when you say to yourself that you're a failure you will feel like a faliure... once you start thinking it even if it's artificial, even if you force yourself, even if you cringe when you hear that like no no no that's not true, you will start believing in it..."👽👽👽👽 I totally resonate with it 🙏🏼 😊😃💚💜 This is holy true. 👽 👻 People, all human being -> we are acting, we are living with our own viruses of the human operating system called ego and superego until we will reach some point of view and we'll see that we play (conscious or unconscious) in games with ourselves and with others... 👻
Most of the time, I get compliments on my English but I always believe that they’re just try to be nice.. on the other hand, I got a few negative feedbacks as well (from 2 people who have never taught an L2 before and a non-native who had been in England for 12 years or so). Those 3 negatives stuck in my head and I have inferiority feelings whenever I speak with a native speaker :( (I live in England and I have certificates- including an Ielts, a first class degree in English from England and a tefl ) anyway thank you for these videos they’re very well constructed informative and very helpful :)
I tend to analyze my past and to follow some issues from it, and one tremendous issue inhibiting me from using English is connected with my deep insecurity, if I've got a right to demand patience from people, if I've got a right for their time and attention. I mean everyone have their lives, who am I to stop them and to torture them with my slow speach? In my culture (at least during my childhood) students weren't usually encouranged to speak up, to formulate questions, to have their time... I mean teacher had a class of more than 30 youngsters and if you wanted to be heard and noticed, you had to be loud and also really quick. I can't say that I lost my confidence in communication, it's better to say that I've never had an opportunity to grow one. I only communicated through my poetry, that was enough for me for many years, but I gotta admit that deep inside I'm longing for being heard. I want to regain my human right to be heard (no matter how many mistakes I am going to make or how many pauses going to restrain my speech). Sorry for this essay "me at psychotherapist's", to be honest I just want to use a chance to practice English (at least written for now) and also pay you with a comment for you great work and inspiration)
You are amazing! You made me cry because it hit right in the heart. Thank you for your supportive talk. I live in the States for 18 years now and always had been worried about my pronunciation. I wonder whether people think I am smart enough or good enough because I have an accent. Thank you again. 🤍🤍🤍
Sometimes I have similar thoughts in my head when speaking to native speakers, and anxiety makes my conversation even worse, my tongue was twisted and stuck to mispronounce words >__< ''''' so changing our mindset is the first step we should take. we all put too high expectation on ourselves that comes with lots of pressure. I have some tips to share if we speak to native speakers: prepare some topics that u are familiar with (ur professionals, ur fields ), or talks that have been rehearsed over and over again in your head or month. And if feel a little bit frustrated about the last conversation u "failed!?", then watching Hadar's channels will build up your confidence ;)
Hey you know what! Your american English is one of the greatest versions I've ever heard! Damn it sounds so great! I trully enjoy listening to your pronunciation!
Thank you so much Hadar! You are amazing! Your videos really have a measurable effect on my performance! I sincerely wish you success in everything you do because you do it with love.
Hello from France! Great video thank you ! Speaking with other people always make me feel a little anxious because I don't practice my English very often. I write it, I understand it pretty well but I need a lot of practice. Very few people speaks English here. We have some tourists here in summer and I hear some sentences here and there but I don't practice a lot.
Hello Hadar, I would like you to clarify a small doubt for me. I am a fairly advanced speaker in English but there is one thing that has been boggling me for a while. How should I properly ask "How manyth president of US is Trump?" Since there may be more than one way of asking this, could you please make a video on that?
I love your videos Hada! Actually it's nothing about the language as being a Chinese I even got struggling when I speak Chinese sometimes. It's more like a life lesson to speak up for ourselves.
Thank you so much!! Your tips are amazing! I always find myself speaking better English and feel much more like myself with non-native speakers and I've always wondered why. I think I see native speakers as superiors maybe? It's obv not them it's just me not having the confidence to show my accent. I end up being a quite person and some people start seeing me as a judging person. I'm not I'm just too scared to talk lol
@@hadar.shemesh thank you for replying! I try to tell myself that it's ok to have an accent and it's ok to not be familiar with the culture or the songs or the restaurants that everybody seems to be aware of except me lol. Everything needs some time :)
I live in Canada for many years and have a hard time finding/joining a group of English Native Speakers. It seems like everywhere I go there are more immigrants than people born in Canada. Any ideas please?
I heard people said that, for an ESL, pronunciation reduction will always have to be done for the rest of their lives. So keep calm and do reduce your pronunciation.
