6 here and you were spot on with the analysis paralysis over pens and the worrying about a relationship going badly even if it’s not! “Are we okay? Are you okay? AM I OKAY?!” 😂
A funny take; however I can say it winces with the unhealthy sayings. Healthy and moving toward 9 allows sixes to believe the thought that things may be okay. Workaholic? Yeah, you try living with you MIL. I’d love some two type interaction videos at work in the coffee break room and on a weekend. How fun.
Moon moonbleu the 6 chooses between options like a ping pong 🏓 this or better that? Pros and cons, even asking others for their opinion, thinking and rethinking it often even with small things like ordering a meal or drink at a restaurant... I feel like 1 know what they want pretty quickly and choose something and stick with it without doubting it afterwards... 🤷♀️ and also with the right way of doing thinks I feel like 1s are more inflexible and believe very much in a universal right or better way of doing things and 6s might do things the way their expected to do them but know that there are different ways of doing the same thing and would maybe even prefer to do it differently... does this make any sense? 1s I feel like are generally perceived as “colder” emotionally because they are so good at controlling their emotions externally at least they can get very angry/ feel the rage in their belly, and 6 I think don’t feel rage very often and have more problems with feeling guilty or bad, because someone is mad at them... and tend to feel more anxious and depressed very often, so 1s main “negative” feeling would probably be rage and 6s feeling anxious or sad... 🤷♀️ I’m just letting my thought out...
I am a 6, and an INFJ, I may not look like a 6 to everyone because I don't express what I'm feeling, so it's hidden deep behind layers, deep down I feel just like Piglet. But maybe I'm wrong and I'm a 5, the test said I was a 5, but I believe 6w5 is more accurate. Maybe I denied I could be a 5, and it's hidden in my shadow now so I can't acknowledge it at all in myself. I don't know... but I do relate to a 6 very much.
yeah, that's relatable. The defensiveness is because "We couldn't have effed up because we are like trying our very best already, okay? Love ya though~" XD
@@AbbeyHowe On the plus side, the wedding planner for the venue said I was her favorite bride because, after 6 months, I was fried and would just go with anything that she said. My thought was, the less detail, the less can go wrong. 😆
@@nikkismith3707 We wanted 28 people. Family decided otherwise. Including crying because they couldn't invite their friends. We only had 10 friends at out wedding and 100 family. Ugh. We were uncomfortable.
As A type one ..I love type six...but they can be stuck in a loop deciding on donuts or chocolate....however they always bring me a coffee and are always on time ...as long as i choose the time and flavour..
TERRY. W omg I can’t tell you how horrible getting coffe for my friends in the morning is if the DONT tell me the flavor they want! If I’ve gone to coffee with them before I will most likely remember what they got, but if I haven’t I will text them, if the don’t text me back then I have this fear in my heart when the barista asks for my order, then I take forever to decide on the final order and am nervous the whole way they won’t like it😂
Tell me about it! I can stand by the sweets unit for at least 10 minutes to decide what I should choose - milk chocolate? Chocolate with caramel? Wine gums? Licorice? Caramels? Or should I take some chocolate chip cookies instead? What about salted caramel ice cream? Or maybe I should bake a cake instead?🤔⏰😫
Y'all, the indecision one is so true! I had to download a random picker app on my phone so I could choose things randomly. I can't make decisions otherwise.
My sister made me take it as well! (she's a 6) I came up with 2, she's like NOPE! so I tried again and came up with 9 and she's like "yeah, I can see that." And yes, now having learned a bit more about it, definitely not a 2, much more 9ish.
The Autoimmune Acrobat ok, I’m a 9 and my wife is a 6. She swears by these enneagrams and I’m having trouble communicating with her.....a lot. Her constant worries and panic any time we have to deal with a problem just has me rolling my eyes, while she’s in full out panic, my future is in jeopardy-mode. I don’t know how to help her in these situations...ever.
I am a six, and I relate to a lot of these things! However, it is important to remember that there is a pretty significant difference between a phobic and counterphobic six. Being a counterphobic six, I am actually extremely decisive and domineering at times. This of course is still rooted in fear, but it definitely looks differently than a phobic six.
The first one had me laughing so much because I used to hide under my bed in fear of tornadoes and hurricanes. I LIVE IN IRELAND. But there was a mini-tornado warning so I stayed under my bed for an entire day crying 😂😂 Love this!
We 6's clearly identify with our behaviors - primarily FEAR and the NEED FOR SECURITY AND CERTAINTY; but what drives these? Are these the result of childhood traumas? Are we born with genetic dispositions? Or a combination of both?
I believe it is a little of both, but I know childhood traumas can drive a lot of these fears and uncertainties. When we go through a bad experience and we get hurt this often drives our need for safety and security. We make a decision to not let our guards down or to not trust anyone because we fear getting hurt again.
I am a 6w7, and have come to terms with issues like anxiety and the need for security. In fact, I'm getting better everyday by watching these great videos. Thanks for posting!
My girlfriend is a type 6 and I am a type 4. I honestly have grown to love her anxiety, even though it's been difficult adjusting to it and understanding that a lot of what she thinks feels 10000x more frustrating to her than they do me. I try to love her by letting her know that she is never too much for me, that I will be with her as we understand her fears together. She has a deep-seated fear that I will leave her or find her boring, but she really brings me stability and helps me get out of my own head. I want to create a world where I always have her. What advice do you have for partners of type 6's when the type 6 is experiencing intense anxiety or panic? I worry that I can be too domineering or invalidating and I want her to have the space to exhibit whatever emotion as it happens.
I tested as a 6 (with a wing 5?)...I 100% agree; I can deal w/crisis situations exceptionally well...even near death situations like when there was a small fire outside my old apartment, and I put it out before the FD came...but as soon as I answered all the questions, etc. I completely had a meltdown....I always thought it was b/c I was in post adrenaline rush...now it makes sense lol
@@kevinr3866 we understand what each other needs and we are really good at anticipating those needs after so many years. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.
@@jenniemcintyre8197 seems like if both types are on the continuum of "healthy" instead of the unhealthy versions of the specific types, any pairing would work. Makes sense!
I’m a 6 and these traits are so true that I even annoy myself. So to show a 6 some love is to be affirming and loving (even if’s really hard) it’ll be worth their devotions.
My mom is a 6 and some of these are definitely true for her! I'm a 4w3. We are exploring the enneagram together and trying to understand how we can better meet each other's needs. Thanks for sharing!
I feel very called out and extremely vulnerable 😭 Another thing I personally do as a type 6 is when things are going very well, I wonder when it will all crash and burn. I tend to worry and "prepare" myself for the worst. It's very sad because I have a hard time enjoying the moment and although I look for peace, it's hard to find with inner conflict constantly going on in my head
I scored as a 6, and I don’t like that I was driven by fear. I’m glad I noticed it. Has helped me make more conscious choices instead of reacting in fear
I’m a 6. For sure! I’m learning to recognize my 6 behaviors to keep them from getting the best of me. My husband called me on my FEAR and looking around for something to find wrong. I’ve realized my compulsion to keep my house, office, and car so clean is my way of trying to control my environment - feel safe.
I am a type 8 with an employee who is a type 6. Thankfully we both understand each other's personalities. It can be really hard for me when her anxiety gets really high and she moves into the type 3, it feels frenetic. I spend a good amount of energy reassuring her and helping her prioritize. When she is healthy, she is literally the best person to have on my team.
My husband as a classic 6 and yes to all of this. Thank goodness I’m a 9 and can find the silver lining in literally anything. I have had to learn to not dismiss his fears and to just aim to bring comfort to him.
My best friend is a 6 and this is 100% her. I'm a 1 and we get along best when I let her be afraid but show her the same incredible loyalty she always shows me by just being there through the worst case scenario thoughts and know she'll come back to a balanced answer in the end.
So true. I’m in the middle of looking for/buying my first house and this decision has been driving me crazy! All 7 of these 6-focused annoying traits are all so true! 😫
I definitely relate to being quick to action and falling apart later! 😬 It took me a long time to accept that I might be a six, we are always depicted in a negative light, as being constantly anxious. Sure, when we’re unhealthy we can be anxious but we have good characteristics too! Like amazing problem-solving/planning skills and we can put plans into action!
Hi! 6w5, omg this hit home- and 3 hit amazingly hard as I work with tiny humans ( omg they put me in charge of 2-year olds...what were they thinking?!) Thank you for the mirror, it made me laugh and also put things in perspectives I hadn't thought about before. Keep it up :)
the fact that 6's are so pessimistic and full of anxiety and 7's are so optimistic and impulsive..this combo is just amazing and it makes a lot of sense to me...though unlike a 6 I don't worry over small things..like donuts or bagels..but I am constant worrying xd
My guy is a 6. Love him. He's totally obsessed with worst case scenarios and can sound hyper suspicious of everyone and everything. I'm a type 4w5, though, so I just see it as endearing. Probably my authenticity keeps the relationship secure. Also that 5 balances out his paranoia because I'm rooted in logic. I love how dependable and loyal he is.
Workaholic resonated with this 6 w 7wing!! That strong reaction to surroundings as if I have no choices to stop and HALT (hungry?, angry?, lonely? or tired?) Handle those things first (esp hunger!) Then dive in to what needs my concentration, has helped immensely!
6w5 (istp?) here. I definitely get the “analysis paralysis”, the being cool in a crisis but unravelling afterwards and the suspicion thing at times. I kind of relate to the checking in but I sometimes feel like I’m intruding (I think that’s a combination of a strong 5 wing and a 9 fix). I feel like a lot of the 6 stereotypes tend to be more typical of 6w7s (particularly sp) so it took me ages of jumping between 5w6 and 9w8 and a ton of reading and soul searching to realise I was a 6w5
Im a 6, specifically a 6w5. I can relate to all of these things on a spiritual level, but just a lot less exaggerated but yes, it is how I feel in my head all the time 😂
6w5 here, and it's... very accurate. Except for stress, after multiple years of this, i've given up on studying more than needed for now (which is very little). Tho, getting actually anxious about relationships, staying stuck in analysis and planning several years ahead are too true. Had to take a deep breath and try to relax in a casual conversation just earlier in the day, haven't responded to other texts for a few days since i'm unable to decide how i should answer, and am basing many current choices (most aren't done, it's a general idea) on my future carreer, life, economy... Being in the fear triad can really enhance stress; but regardless of type, we're all in this self improvement journey, wishing strength to everyone who might need it. Thank you for explaining types so well each and every time, keep up the great work. Take care!
My mum is a 6 and ur description is very accurate, except for the indecisiveness about small decisions. She doesn’t mind colours, or the details, as she really focuses on getting things done.
1 assume a common metric of success and expect everyone to want to pursue the same kind of success. 6 assume a common metric of failure and expect everyone think of avoiding it and then to act on it.
to be honest, everyone can suffer from analysis paralysis from time to time. Not entirely connotated with Sixes alone. But with Sixes, it is because they do not trust their inner guidance, hence they get stuck in analysis paralysis. Those in the Thinking triad are prone to over-thinking, but then again, anyone who are somewhat intelligent and Intuitives tend to over-think too much.
This was so great and accurate! My bf is a 6 and I'm an 8, and although it seems like an odd combo based on the types, I feel we compliment and balance each other very well. He certainly has helped me immensely with my impulsive and confrontational nature. He's brought lots and lots of patience AND loyalty....it's been almost 7 years together, something is working! Lol
For me under heavy stress I tent to rethink all of my life decisions. I recently got so fed up with my life that I quit my job and started school after being out of highschool for 2 years. I was just so unhappy and tired of pushing off decisions so I just did it
Oh interesting... my hubby is a 4 and he really struggles with 7's. They aren't authentic enough for him and he finds they aren't in touch with their emotions enough. Something I do like about the enneagram is that you have so many variations and preferences within a type.
I am a 6 with very, very high scores in the 1 and 3 categories. I really related to the 7th point. When I don't feel confident with the current path at work during requirements gathering/scope creep, I resort to creating something that I can point to and say "Well, at least this was completed while we were waiting on the other resolution." That's a control-thing. Sometimes it comes in the form of me relaxing by taking a break and coming back "a better self" for the team, and sometimes that takes the form of being overworked but have things to show the client. There are pros and cons for both, and there are times and places for both. Innately, I like laziness/ "think smarter not harder" , so the key is for me to understand how I benefit the team and reminding myself that I am apart of the team until they fire me or someone offers me more money/time off to spend with my family. Know your tribe, know who has your back, understand that we are all self-motivated, and don't be offended by the small things. None of that is easy, but just know that overthinking the small things means you're not going to notice the big things.
The analysis paralysis and overthinking describes me exactly. I do not like to think of it as fear, rather I am just a very cautious person and I am extremely analytical. My moto is to hope for the best, but to always be prepared for the worst case scenarios and having 2 or 3 backup plans just in case. I am a 6w7, but I also scored high in 8 as well. I am doing some further digging on Enneagram types and the Enneagram 6 seems to describe me the most. I get my safety from materialistic possessions, entertainment, and I like an adrenaline rush.
I just recently learned about the enneagram and I’ve discovered that I’m a six and truthfully, I have never related to anything so much as I related to the choosing of a pen😂
Love this! In making decisions I ask so many people for their opinions before I make my own decision. When I ask them, then don’t go what they think I should do they are confused about why I asked in the first place. I just like to hear what they think.
Work is one of the most comforting things to me, I would do very well in an office. And what’s nice about finding ways to avoid the worst situations is when you see being afraid and being unable to make decisions as a bad thing that could happen.
My husband has a lot of 6...definitely the working hard for security and the solving problems before they occur. He has trust issues and would rather buy a new tool for a friend than loan out his. His strong Enneagram 5 helps him make decisions well so that's good. I'm not sure which one he is. Love your content!
I’m totally type 6. In fact my boss just got frustrated with me yesterday and said I can’t be dealing with work situations from a place of fear. I had no idea my type 6 was that transparent!!
Thank you Abby. I love your light heartedness about the Enneagrams. I am a 6 and its nice to know I'm not alone in being crazy. Most of my family just tells me I am crazy. Whah!!!
Type 2 is the second number of my tritype as well as my husband's and two of our children and I saw us ALL in this video. 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks for all your great enneagram videos!
Im a male 6. In some particular way it fits to me. But the video seems to be from a more female touched perspective and it shows in more eyes more a phobic 6. Im very counter phobic and be very aggressive instead of get in panic i almost never show my fears in public or to people i dont know so well. I also like to intimidate others for distract from my own fear.
I just learned - after many tests- that I am a 6 NOT a 2. Wow! This has really been revealing. This video made me LOL because it is so true of me and I didn't see it. Analysis paralysis? LOVE IT! I spent last night looking at every possible swivel bar stool because I cannot decide. I do that about everything - what to choose on a menu (of any kind), clothing to buy, should I go or not go to a training?, should I reach out or not reach out?, should I believe in a higher power (god) or not? It is exhausting. OK. Now I am sad. Thanks tho, Abbey. This is great!
My 6 gets into a routine and habits to avoid having to make new choices. So orders the same meal almost everytime. He let's me decide how we will be spending our weekends. I make almost all the big decisions. He always works through his breaks and lunch. He is a supervisor. So his role is to pay attention to details and implement what he is told to do. He likes stability and doesnt like when I push him to try new things or make changes to our home. Incredibly loyal, but doesn't want to feel enmeshed.
i am six, it is so true, i put my self very very busy, i felt that i will die if i stop, but i also love it , i feel my brain very clear when i deal with a large amount of jobs and stop worrying other things.
I'm a 6, and several of these resonated with me. And by that I mean made me laugh out loud 😂. I actually have a system to help me make little everyday decisions without becoming paralyzed. Thanks for the enjoyable video!
I'm kind of embarrassed to share it because it's so Type A, but for little decisions that I face regularly, like what outfit to wear or what to order on the restaurant menu, whatever the date is, I use that number for direction. It's obviously not written in stone, so if it's the 6th, but I don't like the sixth thing on the menu, I'll look down to the next thing, etc. It does help, though, when there are 53 things on the menu!
I'm a 7w6 and I definitely relate to #3. Like when somebody is injured and starts bleeding (like, more than a scraped knee), I'm on it, to grab a wash cloth to put pressure on the wound, get a band-aid, get someone's teddy bear, whatever. And then as soon as I know that the injured person is okay, I pass out because blood makes me queasy.
I’m a 6 and I definitely am a problem solver and a preparer. I ask my husband all the time “ are we good “ and tell him to be careful all the time lol! He’s so patient! I also want to protect people. Not in a wimpy way, I don’t have energy for a the little things but a lot of ...” what if” scenarios. I also do not trust just anyone, yet at the same time, I love adventures and meeting new people... go figure.
I'm a 6 and I insisted on planning my own wedding because I could not relinquish control of something going wrong because of someone else. If anything was going to go wrong I would know what it was and it would be MY fault. Feels much more reassuring that way.
Mother in-law is an unhealthy 6 that has been growing a lot this year. She was anti-social, scared of deteriorating health and general over-introversion and dependency on others because she was scared to face the world. We’ve pushed her to go to church regularly, find new community groups with those in her demographic and are full of positive energy. She’s also benefitted from being pushed into critical thinking that challenges narrow views about people and new experiences that assure her the world isn’t as terrible as she fears all the time.
Can't agree more! I'm 6 and I feel like nobody is trustworthy. I have many friends and easily adapted but I just feel like they are stranger that I shouldn't look up to 😂 nice video. Keep going!
Wow. I'm a 6. These were all pretty true for me, but the one about making decisions in a crisis and falling apart when the dust settles is 100% accurate. To the outside world Im great in a crisis, but my family knows that I will be a basketcase after the event.
I'm 6 and negative thinking is always my way to go, after learning about my eneagram i started to challenge myself and doing my best to be more positive, but yes every time i go out i have my pepper spray on hand, looking around for suspicious activities and people, i hate going out with my little kids because i fear they could get kidnapped or something, honestly the pandemic lockdown was peaceful for me because everybody was under the same roof but i get anxiety if my husband go out and takes longer than expected to get back especially because he almost never pick up the phone so my first thought is that he is lying dead somewhere! People have no idea how hard it is to have ur mind go straight to worse case scenarios all the time!
I'm a 6, and Parks&Recreation's Ben Wyatt has the most 6-like line ever, it goes something like: "I'm not afraid of cops. I mean, why should I be? I never ever break the law... because I'm super afraid of cops!". Totally my relationship to authority. Also, I'm the master of B-plans, C-plans, D-plans, E-plans... you get the idea.
I’m a 7, my best friend is a 6. So much of this is true in our relationship. With my spontaneous nature, I have to be really patient as she works through making the decisions.
I'm a 7w6....yeah I could definitely see some things in here I identified with at least sometimes...lol. It feels like there's a constant struggle between my desire to have fun and be responsible
Omg number 3 ,4, and 5 had me dying that is definitely me laughing. The last one was calling me out. Currently working overtime to avoid the viscous cycle of negative emotions.
I agreed with almost everything but the relationship thing. Lol I usually either don’t commit or when I am committed it has to be a really healthy fun relationship 😳😳.. crap that was such a 6 thing to say ugh lol
Horribly accurate ahhh, I often over work myself to the bone because at least I can control every single aspect like that and it has less variables than dealing with other people 🤦🏻♀️
My ex is a 6. I am trying to make sense of the relationship ending. This helps me understand him more. I’m hoping he finds peace from his anxieties and partner someday who doesn’t trigger them
Most of this applies to me (6w5 sp) I don't feel that compelled to call and check up on others though. Probably the 5 wing. These things happen to 6s in general but are usually not so blatant.
I agree 100%. I also have a 5 wing (still not sure on my variant). I think some are taking this to heart and don’t realize this is exaggerated/satire. I mean, I’m assuming it’s exaggerated satire... I could be wrong. 😆
I am most definitely a 6! And I have the most on rational fears. They don't feel in rational though and that's the problem LOL. The only thing that makes me feel better, is planning out those bad scenarios and feeling like I am totallyPrepared. As you can imagine this coronavirus thing has me in knots.
I haven't finished watching all your individual videos on the main number for an Enneagram but I am beginning to find it harder and harder to figure out which number I am when I resonate so much with each one so far.....
I am a Six and this video is spot on. Wonderful in a crisis but when it's all over, melt down. Do you KNOW how long it takes me to choose where to eat or watch on Netflix 😂. Excellent Job.
