Listening to your stories about toxic moms makes me glad that my mom never was like that. I had the best mom ever. She's been dead for 32 years now and I miss her every day. November 3rd is her birthday and I will spend that day missing her more than ever.
Motor club member... gotta call him a jerk. Great that he's vested in the club, but to the exclusion of everything else besides work? If that's the case then he shouldn't be surprised if there are consequences.
Seriously, "hey we want to hang out" -- "sure how's next August?" isn't the kind of reply a friend suggests. OP burnt these bridges over and over then got pissy when they didn't respond to OP's messages.
@@ItsDan123 unfortunately adults don't get to hang out whenever they want. The guy obviously had other priorities, and a good friend would respect that.
@@mjareacts2731 Friendships take time and work, though. It'd be understandable if any one or two of the things this guy listed happened, but it seems like the guy basically cut his friends out of his life and was surprised when they did the same. There's nothing wrong with this guy enjoying club or anything of the sort, but like any ship you gotta put in the time or it's gonna sink
I mean this is a part of life. People grow apart and gain new interests. I mean yeah he shouldn't have gotten offended that his friends stopped replying but Idk I don't think theres really an innocent party here. Except the girl that mediating everything. At least she was understanding and tried to keep the peace
My mom put me on disability claiming that numerous things were wrong with me. I got like $771 a month when I was 10 years old and had NO IDEA. She told me one day that we were going to the State Fair and 3 weeks later when we didn't go, I asked why. She slipped up and said "we can either spend your SSI on the fair or we can pay rent this month and we're not going to be homeless because you want to go to the fair." One day my POS stepdad got pissed off at me because I was mouthing off to him for being a douche, and he was like "you better show me some effing respect who do you think pays for the roof over your head" and I flat out looked him dead in the eyes and said: " *I do* "
Did you ever get any of that money? That was a horrible thing your mother did! I hope you moved out as soon as you could and once she lost her cash flow she had to get a job to pay for everything.
So the mom is prepared to commit Benefit fraud because that's a serious offence, if the moms on any benefits, they'll likely be stopped, she could end up with a 10-year prison sentence as well having to pay back any money she took from the disability check.
Yes, it is disability fraud. It's a good thing the benefits weren't approved or the mother would have ended up with a whole host of felony charge. On another note, the son is a grown adult still living with his mother rent free, no job. It's right to call him a leech, regardless of his condition.
@@brett19890 That's what I was thinking. What is he living on if he's not working. Is he expecting his mother to pay his way and feed him ? How old is she and is she a pensioner so he's leaching off her? How can that possibly be ok?
Story 4: If the person you're with is broken, you can't fix them. That person has to seek out a therapist. I wasted my time trying to fix someone and it didn't work. It was exhausting! Finally, she walked away and by that time, I didn't try to stop her. Last I heard, she got married and has a family, so I'm guessing she got professional help.
This is why it's hard for even someone with even visual impairments to get disability without constant attempts. I have been visually impaired since birth and (May have Com. E. Ted on this before on this vid) I was rejected multiple times as a child before I was actually accepted.
My mother actually took my mothers disability checks and my sister has now left my mom’s house but now she’s stopped talking to everybody. It’s a pathetic crime fueled by greed and laziness.
For the depressed partner story, this might sound a bit harsh, but it might be that she might be struggling with feelings of having no purpose. Best advice I could give is to try and make little games out of chores by doing stuff together. As they builds up confidence and purpose they should also settle into some form of purpose and find more meaning which could help with depression. At least that’s how it would be for me since I feel useless and unable to do anything during depressive episodes.
I had something sorta similar to the 1st story happen to me. So I am living off of "disability checks" because of PTSD and severe social anxiety so on. The time I got appointed a new psychiatrist and was going to meet him I brought my mom. She took over the entire conversation I was supposed to be having with my doctor, and then she asked if I could do a testing for autism. I'm 21, had never agreed to this or even talked to my mom about it. She openly told him that if I got the diagnosis it would be easier to get more financial help.
Story 1 - The dude is 24 years old or whatever, can't land a job. I am pretty confident tha he does not have the option to cut the relationship with the mother. If i was him i would let her try, after all she's is paying for my roof, as long she is not doing anything ilegal to try to get the benefit.
Literally The exact same thing happened with me in the first store except it was my grandmother instead of my mom and it wasn’t because of a death but something else.I know exactly how he feels in that situation 100% . She made me lie to the government to get certain assistance and benefits I didn’t need. And when I got caught they sent me an overpayment notice saying I had been overpaid the over pay amount was everything I ever recieved from them. They garnished my paychecks for what seemed like forever and my grandmother never helped me pay a single dime for the over payment. She was always trying to get me on as many government programs as possible. I had to move in with my grandparents when the girl I was engaged to left me. And they tried their damndest to convince me that all this stuff was wrong with me and I needed to be on all these medications I was taking like 7 different meds daily at one point and she was counting my pills to make sure I was taking them. Her reasoning was since I already had ptsd from the military that I could milk it financially. At first I refused then she said if I didn’t she would kick me out and that really hurt me because she knows I have been homeless before and have told her how horrible it is so it’s not like she didn’t know what that could potentially do to me. so I did what she wanted and I never got to use the money for anything she just deposited it in her account. But good news is the money is paid back and I’m living on my own. And for the mental struggles I am dealing with I found a place in the veteran community and friends where every 2 weeks we meet and talk to each other and support each other. I’m now running my own business and things are really looking up for me. Now I just have to find a good woman and everything will be perfect.
Story 2: it sound like the op is mad that his friends aren’t responding but also said his friends were “badgering” him when they were trying to hang out. So what does he want exactly?
Yeah, it definitely sounded like only one side of the story. Like he's always busy, but annoyed when they won't hang out. And he had financial issues but didn't have them when he spent money on his biker club (which didn't sound long after). He sounded like he was glossing over details
@@mjareacts2731 like I get there’s more to life than hanging out (however I would argue that what he is doing with the bike club) but why is that only important when it’s the op? The friends didn’t drop him like the op did his friends, even the person trying to mediate (who WAS getting back to him) got blocked so I really don’t get that
Story 3: That what you get for snooping, you have to tell your boyfriend you checked his phone, what you found and why did you check his phone; he deserves to know that the girl he wants to spend his life with doesn't trust him.
Last story actually sounds like OP isn't saying the full story: No descripción to why she moved out, what the problem before was, why the parents didnt talk to her, if they were ok with her moving back, what situation made her move back out, what was she moving into??? Yes her parents sound controlling but she is the one saying she has made up her mind and is doing this no matter what Is OP refusing to hear them out or the other way around?
You have to first understand what it’s like to be Caribbean cause most people think it’s the same as in an American family when it’s different and she probably didn’t want to go into detail..point is she is of age and wants to move out on her own without any toxicity on her part towards her parents..but how they react shows just how controlling and critical they can be..we’re all human but have different ways of being raised and what generations we are being raised from…white, black, Asian, etc all backgrounds are different
Totally agree. She also dun tell what the reason the parent dun want her to move out. May be her parent is controlling or may be her parent is worring her. Not enough information to determine.
tell me why my mom did the exact same thing LMAO i didn’t hear back from disability yet but they deny everyone the first time anyway. i did get approved for temporary assistance i was only getting $190 a month for like 2 months and then my mom changed it so now i get $15 and my mom gets like $350 for my “rent” lmfao
Story 3: If the boyfriend already knows that she snoops, and doesn't mind, I would choose to surprise him instead by finding a way to leave a message on his phone, perhaps a picture or something taken with his own phone (after 'borrowing') it, that just says 'yes'.
I don't understand for the life of me why some people feel the need to go through other people's things, couple or not. Me and my wife have been married for 27 years, and neither one of us have ever felt the need to go through each other's things. Even in a relationship there's a level of privacy, and you really shouldn't be that insecure at 19.
I'm disabled (I have Cerebral Palsy among other things) & my 'mother' & her husband used the disability checks to buy drugs for my entire life. Needless to say, this hit home hard. I'm glad op was able to sort it out
Last Story: Just tell them that if they disown you now, that they will not be able to come back ever, especially if grandkids are in the picture in the future. If they cut you out, they lose you and all of your potential offspring. Simple as.
Honestly the story with the op not moving out with his friends, The OP is the jerk he talks about how he doesn’t have time and money and then joins a motorcycle club which takes time and money. Then after he just says how he can’t make it to something because of the club all the time sounds rude like it’s a club not a job and priority you can skip a club meeting one day to see your friends. And i get your sending your schedule to try and make plans but it really is just him saying this is my schedule and these are the only days i can
I own mum did something similar with me back in the 90s and early 2000s. When I was in my teens I was unaware she had applied for "Youth Allowance" from Centerlink, with the account in my name and her the legal guardian. In 2000 we moved from Australia to the U.K. After living there for three years and six months I moved back due to increasing depression and home sickness. I was 20 years old when I returned to Australia and was living temporally with my elder sister and her husband. As I have a disability my mum denied me the opportunity of work experience when I was in high school, so I had to apply for the Disability Support Pension in order to get financially started as an adult. There was some difficultly as I couldn't have a bank account without having kind of payment and vice versa, but my sister was able to find a loophole that got me my bank account and the DSP. Unfortunately, this is where shit hit the wall. In Australia, in order to receive government benefits you cannot be living outside of Australia for more than 12 months. Because me and my mum had been living in the U.K. for 3 and 1/2 years, that meant she had literally stolen money from the government for 2 and 1/2 years. She accomplished this by making it look like we were living with my sister by changing the postal address to my sister's home. My mum had racked up a debt that was between $5000-$6000, but because the original youth allowance account had been in my name, it meant that "I was responsible for paying it all back". I was totally pissed. When I confronted her about it, she said it was my problem and not hers, and because I was the one who had returned to Australia without her I couldn't take her court and sue her. Half my siblings (I'm the youngest of eight) and my dad (they divorced when I was 5-years-old) were beyond furious with her. It took me over 5 years to pay back all the money my mum had stolen from the government, directly coming from my DSP payments, and to this day she refuses to apologise, take responsibility let alone show remorse for what she had done. And the denied work experience that I should have got in high school has resulted in me literally being unable to get a paid job since 2004. And with Covid happening, it's even worse.
I relate heavily with story 4 and heres why: May 2021 two of my friends, a dating couple, got kicked out of the place they were living from what they said was them standing up for themselves in a toxic environment. I've known these two for a little over a year and wanted to be a good person and help. So I invited them to live with me while they found work and got their own place. The only conditions were that they consistently looked for work, and since they were almost always home, keep the common rooms clean. Common rooms meaning living room, kitchen, bathroom, utility room, and the gaming room. For reference, I work a factory job and make decent money. Enough thay I could easily afford to pay for all 3 of us and still save money. So as a means for them to "pay rent" to me until the could actually pay cash towards household upkeep, they could keep the place clean. Firat month they didnt really do much, and I for one don't blame them there because they were getting settled in. All the time afterwards, and for the year they were there, they weren't able to get a job (even though I offered to help them and even had connections at my job to get them in the door and would get a amazing benefits and all 3 of us would have gotten an amazing cash bonus after 90 days of them working.) And the house was a consistent mess with both the living room and kitchen being absolute disasters. Whenever I tried to talk to them about it, one would storm off in a fit and be upset about it all. While the other would stay but wouldn't be paying attention at all to the conversation. It reached a point where it was like walking on egg shells with these two and as the months rolled around the one who would storm off started displaying patterns of being mentally abussive. I have dealt with physical, mental, and emotional abuse during my childhood thanks to my former step mother and step sister, and various forms of mental abuse from ex partners, and also mental/emotional abuse from my father whenever he got drunk. So, me seeing the signs starting to appear and being gaslighted when I tried to address it, I had enough. So after work (these are 12 hr shifts), I came home and sat them down like I usually did when I needed to talk to them both, and told them they had 1 hour to start to pack their belongings and leave my house for good. They started screaming and yelling at me and throwing things around, which I expected, but I didn't give in to them or even give them a response. I just stood up, and walked into my room. Grabbed my phone, started a timer, and listened to music whike they continued their tantrum. After an hour I poked my head outside and saw they were starting to pack up and so I went bacj to my room and waited until I heard the door close for the last time. But the thing in all of this that makes me relate to the story was they would always say they can't do X because they were depressed. I would try to tell them I understood, but they weren't in this alone, and that they had me, my mother, and my father (who literally used to help people with job applications for a living while he was in college) to help better their chances to being able to get a job. What became alarming to me was they kept dodging any offer of aid when they even admitted they were hitting brick walls with every supposed application they put in. I say supposed because they said they were putting in applications but weren't getting call backs for an interview, thing is after they left I checked the web history on my internet and found that their device never went to any job site. So in they end they were just mooching off me and gaslighting me to make me feel bad for holding them accountable for their responsibilities to the terms they agreed to. I will say, in all of this, I do not question how I handled this. I did what I could, offered help in the means that I could. In the end they were just lazy and using me for as long as they could. No good dead goes unpunished, and the first day off I had after they left I had everything cleaned back up and back to normal within a couple hours. Took me 2 hours to do what they couldn't in the year that they were there. Just sad. But I don't let this incident stop me from offering help to those that I see are struggling because there is enough hardships in this world and I will not look the other way from someone who is down on their luck. Granted I'm not going to bring them into my house, but I will give a few bucks in cash for a bill or give them a hot meal if they've been without a proper meal for some time.
3rd Story: Overthinking doesn't give her the right to search through her phone. YTA Edit:Tell me if I'm wrong that she shouldn't have gone through his phone.
@@chinchilla724 the boyfriend shouldn't have even been given that choice to make, it's an invasion of his privacy, and an insult to him that she would even do it. Her feelings aren't more important than his. She's going to ruin the relationship since she obviously doesn't want to get better.
@@loudnproudgaymer806 but that's a personal decision with the boyfriend right? it's not an invasion of privacy if permission was given. but I do agree on the fact that something like planning a proposal should've been much more discreet like in person or deleted right after the conversation is over.
I love these lets me know my life isn't that horrible XD and your guys voices are chill so I can game for hours listening to these 😎 Love the great narration and your input is smart and reasonable afterwards.
Story 6: I know how controlling parents are. I'm in my mid 20's trying to get work in an art related field (took graphic design courses). Part of this is currently trying to find a job where I have some time I can work on art pieces and start building a portfolio. My mom, before I was even finished with my courses told me to find a job, and I agreed and started looking. I wanted something that paid fair, had me up during the day (previous job made me a night owl, which isn't good for getting stuff done during the day), and would let me learn skills i could use in the future. Within a week, my mom told me her friends work was hiring, but it was an overnight warehouse job (which I knew i didn't want). I decided to go to the working interview anyway to make her happy, but they just had me empty the trash for 2 hours. I told them I didn't think it would work, and when I told my mom she threatened to kick me out if I didn't take the job. I had a panic attack and caved. I have wasted a year of my life at this place i hate, and when I recently tried to quit (for the reasons above), my mom's friend blabbed to his wife, who told my mom in turn. She AGAIN threatened to kick me out unless i backed down, and I knew i couldn't move out with the meager amount of money I had (they had me buy a car shortly after i took the job, so i only had about 5k). To top it all off, she's making me pay 250 a month in rent (and for utilities and stuff) from no on to "teach me responsibility" which seems like bs and more of a punishment for something that wasn't her business to begin with. They're telling me that I can't leave the crappy warehouse job until i get something else, but they just recommend OTHER shitty warehouse jobs, that they know I don't want.
I'll be honest, that sounds a lot like someone trying to keep you dependent on them rather than someone who's looking out for your best interests. Look for a different job and don't tell a soul until you have it. I'd also recommend getting your A+ certification if you can. It's not going to be graphic design, but it's still computers, and you can start an okay-paying entry level tech job with it. Both will look good on your resume once you start your career.
Motor club guy a jerk hands down like bruh 😂 why you gotta wait till next month to hang out with your friends like no wonder they didn't want to have contact with you look is great and all you invested the time in the club and what not but before the club who was there for you . You kept you company . Wasnt it your friends . I would say that club changed you and yes the friends were Jerks but the op could've been the bigger person in the situation and go talk to them in person and fix some issues, You completely and blindly burn those bridges on your own fault. You could've break the mediated way of talking between you and your friends. Have they been there when you were at your lowest , have they stood up for you in any kind of way or situation idk why but sometimes friends are family to so don't take the ppl granted around you
@@mjareacts2731 Of course, that's totally fine. But then he shouldn't be offended when his friends decide that he isn't worth their time either. They, unlike him, were willing to take time for their friend and put effort into the friendship, but he was not. No problem, but then he should not complain about it.
Ops father has a lot of red flags and the fact that they said that the daughter was uncomfortable too makes me wonder if the father didn't do something to her as a child and how is he going to cut off her college stuff when the mother complains that he doesn't even have a job
it’s actually his own daughter he’s saying this to. he’s not op’s father but op’s girlfriends dad. he’s basically just gaslighting and flirting with his own kid which is like 1000x worse
As someone who has severe depression and anxiety, the girlfriend needs to have a wake up call. Depression is an illness, not an excuse. It's not hard to remember to feed a living being or help with chores. Yeah you end up with low energy and motivation but if you aren't able to even take care of an animal or help around the house you are wasting away. Either get help or get off your ass. Simple.
not a drawing right now but a animation! its of a cat called tadpole from the warriors series... he may or may not have drowned. its still a wip but I will be posting it soon!
Story 4. The girlfriend is just lazy and kind of manipulative.. My fiance and I were suffering depression and anxiety. And i kinda stop doing things without my partner telling me what to do. I just sat there. But i still tried to move more and work more. So yeahh your girlfriend is just being a lazy ass and wants to be pampered. Talk to her with more authority next time
If they wanted to make plans the easiest and quickest way to do that is to one person give their work schedule to the other so they can see where they have some overlapping time off. I don’t see how it’s a slap in the face. If either of them have prior responsibilities or important meetings/appointments then they can’t get together, and just going- Person A: How about this day? Person B: I work that day. What about this day. Person A: No, I work that day. is the least efficient way to coordinate.
@@UnlimitedEmeralds tbh, they both need help. breaking up is not the solution in this case, it's not going to solve anything, and I don't think you shouldn't be just breaking up just because there are challenges in your relationship, in my opinion, granted, I've never dated before . Automating some of this logistic work, at least for me, helps a lot with clearing out a lot of stress in my life.
@@Apollo-tj1vm this story is beyond simply a challenging relationship. The guy's girlfriend is super lazy, and he's and enabler. At this point the guy needs to simply cut his losses and move on.
As someone with the depression, he HAS to do what is best for him. Depression is hard but if you allow it to cripple you then you are allowing the pain to take over. She will stay that way unless she wants to help herself. You cannot help her, if she won’t help herself. If you stay with her and this keeps happening. Your depression will worsen.
For anyone actually applying for disability benefits, unless you are a vegetable basically you almost always get denied the first time. My ex mother in law had to get an attorney and still got denied several times it went all the way until she got a hearing in front of an arbitrator before she was granted he benefits. My ex gf’s daughter/my sons sister had a brain tumor and had to havemajor brain surgery when she was less than 2 years old. Complications from the surgery have left her special needs and can never live alone. She is 18 now and you can ask her what 3+4 is, help her work out the answer then right after that ask her what 4+3 is and she doesn’t know. I only say that to show the extent of her handicap. That girl was denied Disability Benefits the first time we applied for her. We obviously appealed and she got them after the appeal. So again almost everyone is denied the first time.
Been there the only reason i originally got put on it was cuz my mom wanted a check then she treated me like such crap and gaslighted me to thw point i developed anxiety and anger issues all cuz they had me on all kinds of meds i didnt need just to keep the checks coming and none of the drs did anything about it cuz she had them all convinced that if i said she did something wrong i was making it up for attention or i was crazy and hallucinated it all EVERY DAMN TIME
For the gf with depression story. What helps me is having a day to day list of stuff I need to do. Also yes I am very good at forgetting to feed my animals and I am not sure how it happens. My husband ask me everyday if iv done it. So that's on my list I know depression is hard cause I am in the same boat, I also dont take meds but like with me at some point you have to make an effort, be hold accountable. My husband understands I have bad days but that sometimes I need a push. It helps me alot!
@@mjareacts2731 Yes, people grow and change, and this is the reason for many friendships ending. I don't think he's a jerk for that. But he is definitly a jerk for blaming it ending on his friends.
2nd story OP is actually the Jerk. Your situation changed and that's fine but you backed out. That's strike 1. Then 2 they wanna hang and you're busy with the club, again fine but remember you're putting the club before your friends. Strike 2. I suppose strike 3 is the continuing of 2.
Biker club is fine but blaming your friend For getting distant is selfish. You did straight up stop hanging out. They were already understanding of op missing some events but you have to be involved witb friends to keep them.
5. My parents have problems in their own. But they would never do anuthing close to this. This is toxic from both of them and they should knock it out, OP should just get his GF and both should take both individually and talk with them. Their daughter and boyfriend are not trash can for their trash
For the OP with the GF in law school. To start off, I am a Law School graduate and I was a single parent. Law School is only 3 years so unless there is more than just uncomfortableness, just suck it up until graduation. Then move out and don't look back.
Story1:ESA IDK if I missed something but nothing in this story indicated the mother was trying to get her child bemefits soley for herself. If my 25yo still lived at home, and not contributing, I would probably push them to get disability or some kind of income, especially if my spouse died
The person who searched through the boyfriend phone is a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to be married because a.if you search through ANYONES phone you seem controlling and b. If you think your BF is cheating do something called talking then use other strategies if you’re still suspicious and the last thing is a private investigator or checking through the phone
That's not only unethical it's Criminal her mom and her daughter would probably end up in jail cuz they take it as Fran and front is very serious charge
Story2: YTA your friends treated you the way you treated them? Now your upset? And why block the friend that continued to speak with you? Obviously, they care they took an extra step to het ahold of you after you blocked them, then went off on them.
So for the title story, my mom and i are trying to get me hooked up with SSI, because I have no income n i have no feasible way to work at a job, I could, but i struggle so much with social interactions that if im put on the spot I completely choke up and freeze Im autistic, Asperger's Syndrome (im aware the term is out of date, but its what i was diagnosed with so its what im going with), and I come to terms that my dream of never moving out to be on my own unless i go into assisted living or find someone thats willing to WORK with me on my disbility im stuck at home, it sucks, if i could choose to be without autism, i honestly would it makes your life hell
I'm pretty sure she do the exact same thing with your other sibling who is getting disability another word she was basically using you and this other kid ask walking ATM machine
He is not financially abusing his daughter. She is an adult. Doesn't matter what she's doing or where she's doing to school, he doesn't owe her anything. The wife on the other hand, she is being financially abused. when they got married, she agreed to be his property, and you take care of your property no matter what
How is sharing your schedule a slap in the face? Like everyone is their own person and if you think someone is going to drop everything to hang out then they don't know how the world works. If everyone shares their schedule to find overlaps on days off and when important things aren't happening then you can plan hangouts. The only reason why everyone sucks imo is bc of the lack of proper communication between everyone.
There is a sayin in my home country: Jealousy is a passion that seeks for suffer. It rhymes in my native language, but thats what it means. I guess the op in the story with the cellphone now knows that.
Yea i am on disability because of my anxiety and autism i could not work in most places i could if i was by myself and didnt have to talk to people but thats hard to find where i live but i get a grand a month ontop my rent being paid and still can make 1100 more every month which i due because i breed and sell reptiles so i dont really deal with anybody in person i due make more some months but i dont put into my bank account until the next month lol doesnt always work and i always have alot of cash because i cant deposit it so i usually buy more reptiles and frozen rats and mice for them in large amounts i cant tell you how amazing it is to see the eggs hatch and seeing your hard work pay off and even more when you hit on the morph you want as their is genes like hets that are like albino amd what not that need 2 of the same genes to get it if you use to normal looking ball pythons together but their het for albino its a 1 in 4 chnace that an albino will hatch now you can get more and if you breed an albino to a het you get more and 2 albinos get all albinos then their is alylic genes so you can take a het albino and het toffee and get a toffino because the genes sit on the same thing then theirs co-dom and dominent co-doms make supers when bred together which is the dominent gene and if you breed a co-dom to a normal you get 2 in 4 but can get more and if you breed a dominent to a normal you get all dominents
You are a grown individual you don't need their permission to move out I think they will just want to control your life and you should never let them do that
