In this week’s episode, Natalie and Deepti sit down with their first guest, Iyanna McNeely from “Love is Blind” season 2. Iyanna addresses the recent cheating allegations, shares her experience on the show, and where she’s at today.
After everyone dragged her saying she is talking too much about him and needs to let him it go? I think she should keep it private because people are too mean
You may feel like it’s time but she may not! Please be respectful of her feelings. She may not be emotionally ready to share a painful part of her life.
I loved hearing about how Natalie and Iyana didnt like each other at first but ended up being close friends after. It's funny how that can happen. I've also experienced this thinking a girl at work was a total B and fast forward to many years later, she's one of my greatest and most trusted friends. It's hard as an adult to make genuine connections and know who you can trust, but im so glad you guys were open to one another and built a beautiful friendship. You can tell there is so much love, respect and honesty there.
I agree! I found out after TEN years of being genuine, best friends with someone that I couldn't trust them anymore, and that really hurts. Since then I haven't been able to make new friends now as an almost 30-year-old, like you said about finding genuine connections as an adult.
I had something similar happen at work way back in 1994. One of the ladies there was notorious for being a loner. She didn't socialize at all, would speak and keep moving, and some of the people were scared of her. She said something to me once and I didn't like the way she said it so I told her to basically F off. Later she came to me and said, "Don't ever speak to me like that again." I apologized and said, "Yes ma'am." Then she asked if I wanted to have lunch the next day. Now, here we are 29 years later. We are STILL best friends, she is Godmother to my sons, and no one who used to work with us back then can understand why.
Iyanna is such a lovely, sweet and beautiful human being ❤ Love to see she’s doing great nowadays! And everything she said about the show is spot on. It promotes trauma bonding, love bombing, it makes you live in a bubble until after you are married, you cannot talk to family and friends while in the pods, which makes the experience even more surreal, you drink tons of wine, sleep a few hours and hang out only with strangers for awhile… the whole thing is the perfect receipt for a disaster! Apart from Cam and Lauren (and maybe Zack and Bliss), the Love is blind experiment is failing, romantically wise.
Excuse my language but I knew Jarrett wasn’t s**t from the jump. His energy just gave off very much immature, disloyal, lost soul. He was very much lucky to have iyanna and have her react to that information in the email the way she did because had it been anyone such as myself he’d be laying in the ICU. Much respect to her for handling it gracefully and dignified. I pray she is able to heal, learn, grow and overcome this public humiliation and private mental turmoil and manipulation and god unveils the true king she deserves when she’s ready.
The Mallory-Jarrette-Iyanna triangle reminds me of the Josh-Jackelina-Marshall triangle from season 4. Mallory and Jarrette seem like they are used to a more toxic and immature dynamic
I really resonate with Iyanna’s experience. My ex was very similar with the lying, lack of maturity, manipulation and gaslighting. Since I knew the things he went through that made him that way and other sides of him others didn’t see I chose to give him grace many times, even to my own detriment. It took me a long time to honestly and openly talk about the ways that he mistreated me; I didn’t want to taint other people’s perspective of him.
Iyanna's experience reminds me of my last traumatic relationship. I so wanted it to work and my whole intuition was screaming...I started checking phones, social media, everything. I almost became obsessed. At the end I had to choose my mental health. Today I am in a very healthy relationship. But it took more than a year to get over that.
I am SO happy that Iyanna is the first guest for this amazing podcast! I love all 3 of you but Iyanna takes the cake for me! My boyfriend actually contacted her and I have a cameo of her telling me “Happy Birthday”! Literally if everything else from my phone has to get deleted, I WILL SAVE MY BDAY CAMEO FROM My BOO IYANNA❤!! Thank you for making this pod cast! This shed so much light! 🥰
A trauma bond is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser,specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse.The bond is created due to a cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement.
Thanks, Star! I came to the comments to say the same thing. I think an alternative phrase for this type of situation might be "bonding over shared trauma."
@@joanna0988 It’s called friendship! All close relationships are based on shared experiences or similar pasts. Sometimes the shared experience was a painful one. All that means is that you were unable to hide behind false facades like most friendships do for years. The situation allowed you to leap frog levels of vulnerability. It’s unfortunate that pop psychology has people convinced that this purer form of friendship is actually the corrupted one because they misunderstood the term “trauma bond”.
Thank you ladies for being so transparent and vulnerable. Ayanna you're such a loving, genuine and kind soul 🥺I also tried to take my ex to therapy with me and get him to heal and become self aware because he genuinely isn't a bad person.. but the unhealed version of him has toxic tendencies 😞You aren't a punching bag and you can't wait on someone to grow at the expense of your peace and mental well-being 😕You did what was best for you! Don't beat yourself up over your choice because you were sold a dream in the pods! Jarette should have known that he isn't marriage minded at this current stage in his life 🤦🏽♀️Nonetheless, women fall in love with a man's words and men fall in love with what they see.. women just need to be aware of a man's actions and obey their intuition ♥️Manifesting a beautiful, safe and healthy love for you three 🤗
This is what I love about America. We can all be diverse and come from different cultures and ethnicities, but still share our emotions and feelings as Americans.
Many guys want an open relationship, but only for themselves. That’s called sexism, patriarchy, my girl. Yianna is so sweet, she reminds me of myself after divorce trying to realize what had happened. Many many men treat women as lesser ppl. It is NOT about you. Move on stronger ❤✊🏻
I loveeee your friendship! Iyannas story is so inspiring and I felt so happy for her when she said she felt so much lighter after the divorce ; it showed and can be felt through the screen. Love that she chose herself and that you all held space to have a conversation like this to help so many others. Great episode! 💯💕⭐️
Season 2 cast is still my fave, you 3 are so genuine and you guys will probs always be my fave. I think you guys also expose the show and the people surrounding it. Which is honestly so needed.
Nat/Deepti, thank you for allowing her this safe space and friendship l. Iyana, thank you for standing up for your truth, your bravery and vulnerability. ♥️
Love that you are talking about not drinking for some time! I work as an addiction counselor and it makes me so sad that alcohol is such a huge accepted drug in society. People don’t get how destructive it can get. There are other things to experience in life😊😊 Thanks for the rest of the talk too :)
I love that yall have friends to be able to share your introspection with on such a unique journey😊. My first heart break was lonely😅. Also, I hope that when you find your people that you have nothing but peace and clarity. When I got married I felt that months before and it never waivered even when life wasn’t perfect because his character was so consistent❤
I’ve been there girl. I’ve been cheated on by a covert narcissist, and I did all the same things you did. But now that I know what I know and have gone through a lot of healing through my faith and therapy, I no longer cover up for people who behave badly. I will not try to help them avoid accountability. If they wanted to be represented in a good light, they should’ve behaved better.
Great interview! All 3 of you are great! Can bring Zack to the show? Also shine some light on the living conditions some cast members were talking about?
after this interview I am a little more relieved and I am proud of you Iyanna. life goes on and above all don't be discouraged, the person you need will come one day. thank you Deepti and Natali you are adorable
He probably love bombed her and mirrored her personnality. Just look at his relationship with Chloe on Love is blind. He's probably really exciting at first, but it quickly goes downhill after that, because he's not genuine. He's only looking for any kind of validation.
I found very interesting when you all talked about the LISB experience I think I would be great to know so much more about what you lived there, like the whole experience of being away from everyone and everything, how it is to be filmed every time and things like that. Thank you girls ❤
You guys are using "trauma bond" incorrectly just a heads up. If y'all were trauma bonded that would mean you guys caused one another trauma and have held onto it as an intimate moment that has kept you guys together, not that you guys bonded over the same trauma
Okay Natalie, you are an amazing interviewer. You are asking all the questions we want to ask! Or at least the ones I personally want the answers too so hey I'm a fan :) Excited to watch more!
@@nursingwithjon mmm I’d say definitely not bring people on their podcast if it’s to confront people. I just like to hear their thoughts, experiences and their lives after the show.
@@anabellperez4002 right. But don’t they get slandered through the media enough where it would be nice to hear their side too rather than just from Natalie and Deepti?
How free you feel is such a testament to you making the right decision! It should inspire the rest of us who stay in relationships when we shouldn’t. The grass is greener ;)))
This was a really interesting podcast to watch/listen to. I think there is a lot that most of us miss or can't see objectively when we are in a relationship with someone and like Iyanna said everything moved so quickly. I think watching the show and watching Jarette I think most viewers very quickly realized that he wasn't really ready to make a change even though I think he knew he needed to in order to transition to role of husband. I think maybe there was this underlying fear that if he wasn't party-stay-out-all-night Jarette then who was he? So there would be lkke this discinnect from an identity he found comfort in attaching to. So being a husband meant giving up aspects of himself in some way. That can be very scary. I think a lot of women stay with someone because they think that if they just give this person all this love and affection and care even though their own boundaries are being disrespected in some way that this other person will change but more often than not this doesn't happen. I think Iyanna fought with her intuition a lot when she decided to stay but i also think she checked out of their marraige at a certain point and when she chose to get divirced she was honest with herself and that is such a powerful moment. ❤
Jarrette isn’t “unhealed” stop excusing his shitty behavior. He is a grown adult who made these decisions repeatedly. He didn’t have any fight in him because 1. He wasn’t actually ready for marriage to begin with. And 2. Iyanna wasn’t his dream girl. Once you realize that a man has to be with who he truly wants to be with that’s the only time he will put in enough effort and want to grow. Once a man gives you any hint that you’re not his dream girl, EXIT. Do not stick around.
@@sholay706 False. Whoever you’re referring to isn’t your dream man. Your dream man is a man you love but he must love you more than you love him. Women are naturally caregivers and caretakers. The only way to be a dream girl is to make sure he loves you a little more and knows you will leave if he doesn’t fall in line.
@F M So you don't have any control on who u fall in love with? You can love someone that doesn't love you and a man can love u but u don't love so what are you talking about ? A lot of men love women who don't love them back and vice versa
@@sholay706 You don’t have control of who you fall in love with but you have control over who you stay with. Anyways, if you want to stay in a situation where a man loves you less then good luck. Hope it turns out well and you’re not on here complaining.
@F M All I am saying is girls care about power , influence and money and will date a powerful man that is taken so your take on ensuring he loves you is not the reality. Too many women and few men so nowadays a man or a woman can be the prize
I froze my eggs a couple years ago before I started chemo. I’m so glad I did it and it’s nice to not feel pressured to have children by a certain time 🤍
@@kvthedrvl hi kathy, I was lucky that my insurance covered some of the costs because of my situation, but it was still pretty pricey. It wasn’t that painful per say, but the hormones do make you a bit emotional… it’s a crazy ride, but glad I did it!!
“Trauma bonding occurs when a person experiencing abuse develops an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. They may rationalize or defend the abusive actions, feel a sense of loyalty, isolate from others, and hope that the abuser's behavior will change.” So can we please stop using this word? Great episode otherwise.
omg I love this podcast. Natalie, great job asking the right questions and interviewing. Iyanna, thanks for sharing your side of the story with gentleness and compassion for Jared. I know it didn't work out, but i love that you didn't let the public bash him. The wrath of the internet is scary to see.
Iyana is litrlly most of us. There were many redflags where she could have paused or left the guy but chose not to see them. Just becuase she thought she was in love and wanted the guy. I guess most people must have already expected that their relationship wouldnt last. Im sure they must have had a good bonding for a while but there are also redflags that she ignored. But yes such a sweet girl, you deserve good in life. ❤
Iyanna is courageous to share this... I saw at the reunion they were not in synch. Anyway, trauma bonding is so real especially women who go into fix mode with a man. I am guilty for that too but I came to realize just because you are on a journey or know what's best for someone they may not appreciate it or even value it. It is better to just do you and quickly let go what does not align. The other person is an adult and they are going to be okay... Let them deal with their own things themselves
Y'all, sharing one's pain/trauma with another is NOT trauma bonding. That's just plain old sharing/bonding. "Trauma bonding happens when an abuser uses manipulation tactics and cycles of abuse to make the victim feel dependent on them for care and validation, causing a strong attachment or bond. This often occurs in romantic narcissistic relationships, but can also occur in families, friendships, or work relationships."
I totally get what Iyanna was saying about him bringing it up only at the end to try and make her look bad. My ex did that for years after our separation and subsequent divorce. He would remind me that I slapped him completely leaving out that he had pushed me across room until he had me cornered against a cabinet with his hand around my neck and had hit me in my face and I was trying to get away. The gas lighting is no joke.
He definitely gaslighted her so bad. This stuff can have you feeling crazy because the narc dismantles the trust you have within yourself, you’re constantly doubting instinct and so you want to leave but can’t trust your own decisions. It’s wild. And she’s so emotional intelligent it’s shocking how she stayed.. 90 days is enough to know someone.. they were in an inflated over stimulated experiment, but she made the right choice eventually.
I love Iyanna so much. I can’t wait til she’s ready to date again. She’s so introspective, so I know it’ll take awhile, but I would love for someone to just treat her like the queen that she is ❤❤
Jarette is an overgrown boy. He will regret losing a good woman. He wasn’t ready to be with her and marry her fully. If he really loved her, he never would’ve put her through any of that.
I remembered to seeing the reunion and them sticking together, and for some reason, I just couldn’t really believe that they were OK because the character I saw moving towards them getting married he just portrayed someone that was not ready, and in my opinion she gave in to a person that should’ve never had a chance with her of course I know she chose to MoveOn and decide to commit to this man for her own reasons, but this went on long enough so thankfully, she has decided to move on with her life without this man and hopefully she starts a clean slate and learns from this to not give chances to a man that never should’ve reserved a spot in her heart
As an Empath, I 100% understand why she felt the responsibility to protect her ex husband. One thing you have to be careful of as an Empath is believing you are the guiding light to someone elses healing. You are not and they will be fine without you. Watching Jarrette was frustrating for me because the gift of gaslight was as strong as Jackie's jaw (I know.. I know that was so bad). I got tired of hearing him talk about what he needed to do and not do it. I wanted to believe him because he sounded so sure. God will put you through things to grow you in certain areas, there are no mistakes. It looks like Iyanna understands that and that's all that needs to happen from this situation. Good luck girlie ❤❤
The fact that a complete stranger had more respect for her than her husband because she noticed a woman's things in the apartment and realized he wasn't available. Absolutely terrible. But those ladies are amazing for telling the truth and dipping. Also, his story doesn't make any sense. 2 women would not randomly go to a strange man's house drunk after a night out. That's such a dangerous situation? There was definitely something more there. She wouldn't remember that many details about her apartment if she was that drunk. And if she was, that actually makes Jared look worse.
The audio on RU-vid is so much worse than Spotify. Levels are off and it lowered when Iyanna came on. I love seeing y’all’s faces but I have to listen on Spotify bc of how inconsistent is it on here :( please fix! Great content so far
Yes the sound is very off! I had to turn it all the way up and it still was wasn’t loud enough while I’m doing things around the house. Hope they fix it going forward 😊
I didn't like how Deepti and Natalie mocked Kyle's appearance from LIB season 4. You would think they would understand how it feels to be bullied especially after so many people made fun of Deepti's and Natalie's looks.
Refusing to take accountability makes Jarette a bad person. Lots of people are unhealed, not everyone chooses to repeatedly cause harm. It's not an excuse.
