You’re just missing the simultaneously overly optimistic and extremely dry Indian kid whose parents are doctors or Silicon Valley tech investors. “We all”
The student that spoke at my college graduation 3 years ago said we won't remember any of this speech except his beatboxing, then he beatboxed. That is all I remember, so I guess he was right xD
You forgot the part where they talk about how they volunteered in 35 separate soup kitchens, interned at the white house, and somehow have a 7.0 GPA. Then you look them up ten years from graduation and they work at a honda dealership
Don't forget they're divorced, have a secret drug habit and are always last or second to last in sales every month. The one from our school was pre-med for 2 years but his grades were so bad he had to switch to "Business" with a minor in c0c@ine. And he sold Daewoo.
Working at a dealership, even just detailing the cars, is a lot more profitable business than you might think. Especially if you're in sales and you meet your quota for the month: then you're really making the big bucks
@@leghosas5001nah this whole idea that people who do well in high school burn out in real life is bs. Sure some kids who do exceptionally well in high school end up crashing and burning later on in life, but statistically most of them go on to lead successful careers. Atleast far more kids who do well in high school succeed in life than kids who don’t do well in high school. The whole idea of that happening is a misconception popularized by people who probably wanted to cope with the fact that they didn’t do as well as they could have in high school. Congrats on graduating, hope your speech went well.
when there is more than one Mike, you have to begin using descriptors in order to denote which Mike is which. You should know, Little Bill@@williamlevison9966 (jokes online jokes)
I totally read this as you worked for an egg company and it started me on this mental rabbit trail conspiracy theory of why chicken farms would be in charge of half the graduation photos in the country. I see you Madrigal Electromotive. But then i realized i read it wrong, whats an epg company?
@@abramj565 Just to add to the insanity: I am so tired and buggered from heat exhaustion that reading your comment is difficult because the text keeps tilting off to the left and right. It's like trying to read text on the side of a boat as it tilts and bobs in the waves of the sea.
Thaddeus Crandel, notable for being the founder of Crandel university. He spent years building up the school and encouraged a positive attitude in all of his students. He later retired and moved to Mane to spend time researching his hobby, Eugenics.
I usher at a convention centre for a living and graduation season is the most soul draining shit in the world. I see dozens of these speeches and they are painful, so you've captured them perfectly.
Hey, Kerwin State has one of the top transfer prospects ratios in the conference and we were the first ones to allow on campus hot plates so you can suck it…. GO KSU, Flying Egrets!!!
Just had my graduation, and the valedictorian gave a speech basically just like this, except she stuttered through every single sentence and it was pretty painful to listen to.
My class's spokesperson who straight up roasted everyone and called out my friends about all those times we broke doors and fixed them in time before a teacher came.
well to be fair, it was THAT year. 100 years ago, maybe the graduating class from Spanish flu or a few centuries before then, the class of the black plague could relate. I mean, theres also the.... nah your year was just rough. thats just rough, buddy. sorry.
"And now I say something unexpected but not new, such as socialising being just as valuable as studying, and I will finish by thanking and/or giving flowers to an obscure member of staff that would be impossible for me to develop a rapport with unless I spent every waking moment at school!"
This is great, but it's missing the classic "challenge" portion of the speech where the speaker feels the need to challenge everyone in the audience to be a better person or something
“And I would also like to observe one full minute of silence, for Kaytee MacKenzie who could not be with us in person here today, because earlier this week at Cheer regionals, she tore her rotator ACLU cuff, and is currently lounging around her bed over at the hospital. But don’t worry, it wasn’t all for nothing, because. . .” . . . . . “WE’RE GOING TO STATE!!!!” “Also she’s like here or something by iPad, so whatever. Extra much?”
My grandparents were best friends with Thaddeus Crandall’s Niece, Gertrude. That’s part of how I found myself at Crandall, and yes I can attest to how good the Painted Burrow is! #slayterdeerstillalive4ever #kerwinstatesucks
I (along with like three others) had to give a speech in HS at my graduation. Our school was embroiled in drama at the time internally, so they cracked down on what we could and couldn’t say. I remember they gave each of us a list of “themes” we could write about. Not even a year later and I can’t remember what my theme was, or even what I said in the speech, except for when I was about halfway through and realized I’d written way too much, and at the end when I (unscripted) quoted Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.
God the inside jokes, the overall stale delivery. It’s so spot on. On the outside looking in watching one of these ceremonies I’m just sitting there like: “Congratulations…on all that student loan debt. Only like 20% of yall are gonna end up working in your chosen field.”
There were three moms at our graduation that talked exactly like this but made everything about themselves. I kid you not they said "you can clap" at least 6 times.
I’m glad he chose that quote over Thaddeus Crandel’s other quotes. Especially the ones about the Jewish New World Order theory and his praise of a certain Austrian painter
They wanted everyone of us give a few sentences after graduating uni. I told i didnt want to in any circumstances. All i said after 1 minute of silence was: "This paper guarantees nothing. I never even once tried and never once did i felt success. Thank you for taking these 4 years of my life."
Somewhere in those highschool speeches “…when we first tried to look for our lockers”…there has to always be a stupid locker comment in those speeches😝
