@@DiamondEyez456 Yes, while they project everything THEY are onto you (the truth teller). They tell people your REACTION but they carefully witthold what they did to push your buttons.....
Yes that's a good indicator of a grandiose narc. The coverts are different. They have a false mask of "humble"....but in my opinion, they are way worse than the overts. By the time you figure them out, they've already injected you full of their venom.
Grandiose narcissists are very entertaining to the people who they newly met. It almost feels like unreal, but you see an example, so you think anyone can achieve anything. But when you spend a lot of time with them, you will realize how much they have been using controlling entitled behavior to achieve anything.
As someone that just realized that I'm a grandiose narcissistic, this is exactly my life. New people are very intrigued by me and yes the amount of conscious and unconscious manipulation that I do is mind boggling
@@philcanselmo9436I came across one when I was 16 and he was about 28. He was super exciting and fun and I was really taken in. We got engaged and then he changed his mind at the wedding and ending up marrying a lady he was cheating on me with and doubt she even knew we were engaged. They had a normal married life with kids and still are married. Not sure why I had to be hurt, but now at age 50 it is all surfacing again. So working through it. Hopefully you haven't heard anyone too much. Some of those scars don't always heal ❤
My experience with grandiosity is that they accumulate expensive things: take expensive vacations: whilst simultaneously begging from their families, claiming that they can't pay their bills. There often seems to be an obsession with their appearance, and often "name dropping", as well as announcing that they must have, and be, "the best of the best." Thanks to what I've learned, my most recent escape from forming a friendship with a bartender, who does spray tan: fake nails: fake blonde hair: exercise class: brags about driving a fancy car (and , of course- pointing out that the vehicle I drive is "inferior" LOL): and sends acquaintances daily religious, inspirational texts- all whilst searching for a man to take on her massive 80K debts. That would be an example of too many red flags for me to become any closer with a person. I have also met people who exhibit many NPD behaviors, and have declared bankruptcy. One would not know it- because their expensive lifestyle would indicate that they have not had financial issues in the past, or owe other people a great deal of money. Even friendships with an NPD can be costly on many levels.
Horrifying to hear. I committed the crime of marrying one and starting a business together. Trusted too much. Ended ruined to the root. The only bless are our 3 marvellous kids that live with this monster. My family was deeply financially affected too. I can't stop blaming myself. These people are monsters. I'm terrified for my kids. Run while you can!!!
Alcoholism is also often used by the victims of narcissistic abuse as a way of escape from the insanity they are enduring. Don't lump all alcoholics into one Lump.
Grandiose Narcissist is a perfect description of my elder brother. He loves talking about himself and his achievements and is so entitled because he is the first born Son. He lies a lot, too. They are so fake.
I told my ex-husband that I wanted a divorce. He asked me what about his family, my family and the church. This explains it. He's concerned about how things will look 🤔
I grew up with 2 narc parents. Nobody could think, say, or do anything at all without "what will people think" coming into play first. You didn't like eggs but the parents do, well then even if there is nobody else in the house you are going to effing eat eggs and you're going to like them because anybody could come through the door any minute and "what would people think" if you aren't enjoying eggs like your parents are? I remember one time making the mistake of saying what did they mean anyone could come in, the doors are always looked and nobody else has keys, so you mean if a robber breaks into the house and they see me not eating eggs while you are eating omelets then that's all they will think about and they'll forget they broke into steal things? My ears wouldn't stop ringing for weeks after the screaming word salad that they threw up in my face after that question.
I was always so flabbergasted or irritated when my narc ex would talk about how easy it would be to achieve so many daunting tasks (opening a new business, buying property, obtaining a grant, etc), and then she would tune me out when I would try to explain the necessary steps and conditions to make any of those possible. This was coming from someone who could barely afford rent and doesn't even have a driver's license in her mid-thirties.
My ex is exactly like this!! When we would speak about acquiring property, I don't think she fully understood what it needed to obtain such things. She thought it was easy as looking on housing sites and clicking apply to get it. I had to create an Excell spreadsheet with calculations on how much it would cost/maintain a house + what we would need to put aside for it!! Even me doing that, she didn't take it seriously and thought it was easy! In the end of it all she would say that I'm only good at creating spreadsheets and belittle what I had done for us to build together! Is this a narcacist?
Everything you do in life, from what you wear and how you look to not ever embarrassing your legalistic narcissistic parents, has to make them look good and create the image of the perfect, happy family that has it all together.
I had a former g. Narc friend. She came to MY wedding in a custom made dress, brought the most elaborately wrapped gift, and when we took a photo of my best friends (5 of us in total), she had to be center stage. One of my other friends who disliked the Narc, even commented: 'Let's have the Bride in the center of the photo!' But, of course~the Narc didn't move. I did think it was strange that she stayed where she was, but didn't say anything. This person exited my life not long after. She has tried to swoop back in through sm, but I see her for who she is. Thanks to Dr. Ramani and other narcissism experts.💜
Many leaders and politicians at least have narcissistic qualities, that's why we elect them, or follow them..the charisma, confidence and so on. It doesn't mean in a psychologists office they'd all be diagnosed, as personality disordered NPD. There is much acting in leadership, role playing as well.
Yes so true, they are masters in finding people who support them, and telling them half the story. The only one who know everything about it is me. My relationship with him was 7 years. I know to much secrets. And i lost most of my money. Nobody of our " friends" is asking me for the story. Nobody even contacts me. They follow me secretly on my Facebook posts. I am making poems and story,s( i am a writer) with subtile suggestions about this. He has a group of woman and they took over what i did for seven years. Give him money, give supply, give back up, give admiration, share the fantasy world. Why they don,t want to hear the truth? Because than they have to give up there own desire to be in his presence. And they are already hooked on it. And gave him so much money that they cant leave anymore. Exactly the same as i did for all this years. The lies he told me are now comming to me. I did investigation about conflicts he had with clieents in the past. Just to hear there part of the story. Because I believed his part and did not had permission to contact them to stay in tune. Disappointment, sadness, trauma,.lost of self confidence. Am i a victim? Yes i am. Doni have a platform to tell my story? No i haven,t. Once i will write a book about this. To help people in this relationships to stay in tune with there truth.
Please tell me you are not of English speaking descent. Because if you are... you need to work on your sentence structure, spelling, and punctuation if you aspire to be a writer! You know there is spell check on devices!!!
The narcissist who bromanced me was grandiose & somatic. Perhaps the most physically attractive man I've ever met. A commanding physical presence. Dripping in charisma & sex appeal. The kind of man who everyone notices when he walks into the room; & acts accordingly. Would spend a lot of time posing in his full length mirror. A total shape shifter, a different person to different people & setting. Also admittedly aware of his cruelty.
This always reminds me of my cousins husband, although he was later diagnosed with another mental health condition and addiction. The first time he met our family was at a wedding and he was very charismatic, fun and flirty with everyone. I was around 14 at the time and he told me I looked much older (in a complimentary way). Then I heard him say it later to other girls around my age. I realized oh he says that to everyone 😁. He truly was the life of the party. But, my cousin had a rough life with him and eventually divorced but for some reason she was still involved with his life even when he was dating someone else! She would go to places with them. (I often wondered if she was afraid of him and he still controlled her.) He ended up taking his life. Its probably been 15 years now but she still rarely dates and from the dysfunctional family dynamics we grew up in, no one talks about any of it.
That is a really sad story. I can totally relate to it. The same kind of scenario happened to me as a kid. I watched my sisters engage with the narc loser types who were always flirting with everyone 🙄and cheating on my sisters, and they always went back to them. 🤢
Video request: Dr. Ramani, your work gave me an understanding that helped me leave a toxic marriage of 12 years. Distraction is a major issue that I'm working to overcome now. I find it difficult to think deeply about my work or focus on any one thing for a long period of time. I'm not even ruminating on the narcissist now; just not focusing on what I'm supposed to be doing now.
Dr Ramani, please make a video about covert narcissist. The one I worked with, did NOT talk about their achievement openly but rather had an ATTITUDE of “I’m better than you” She always put me down in such a subtle way, I didn’t know how to address it at the time. She showed her superiority by body language, subtle comments and patronizing, condescending comments when NONE was around. To me, these are the worst.
They Also sexually harrass your husband to show “superiority”. Süper sick. Too much narcissism in authoritarian countries also. General woman behaviour and accepted norm becomes this. Pathocracy.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani for not only helping me understand my narcissistic mother, but also for helping me see the toxic traits that I have myself. And for helping me understand the other toxic people I have encountered and thought that I was just a bad person in life. Your videos help me so much!
WOW, this sure explains a LOT! It's exhausting trying to keep up with his need for supply. You have helped me so much. I no longer feel the need to try to keep up with him as it won't change him anyway. Just knowing why he acts this way brings me peace.
„Who is the coolest and richest guy you know?“ … said a 4 years old boy in his fifties … 😅 I can only laugh about it because I am out. I finally made it. It took time, and thanks a heaven to Dr. Ramani for her wisdom and support.
Yes! I’m hearing “I’ll take on both your jobs AND I’ll do XYand Z as well as AB and C”!! Also, the CONSTANT status behaviours such as interrupting, not giving full attention, depracating humour, as in deprecating others.
Another thing Dr. Ramani, you know you are saving lives, right? The abuse I went through trying to care for this woman should be illegal and she should be paying or learning at the very least. I am currently trying to re-establish self after that. What a process that has included internal debates that should never have happened. Again, thank you for what you do and who you are.
This reminds me of an eye doctor I once had. He was is always on the phone with people he wanted recognition from like various medical institutions and the like. He was more on the phone with "Important" people and could be hardly bothered with his patients. I eventually sought a different doctor because I couldn't stand the degree to which he was Full of Himself.
"Nobody gets more upset than someone being falsely accused, without basis; unfounded claims". Tragically, many people go to prison, sometimes for the rest of their lives, for being lied on.
I fell for this in my previous job. We had not one but 4 or 5 people like this on my team. They all sucked but were so bad and inexperienced at the job they thought they were all great. They were so dang confident that they fooled me. I thought the cockiness was based on actual competence. I was wrong place was a dumpster fire. I'm a truth teller so after about 6-months i was starting to be in deep conflict with some of them. After a year it was horrible. Very unprofessional when they had tantrums, shouting cussing, throwing things.
The first tantrum I ever witnessed from my ex narc boyfriend, I was in disbelief! A giant mid-fifties man turned into a toddler in the apartment parking lot! I came up with a solution and he continued the tantrum like he didn't hear me and he kept repeating how his life was so horrible...I see it now, he just wants attention, negative or positive, attention... looking back I'm surprised by how many people just don't see it OR they do see it and they enable it...
Dr Ramani - Please, please consider making a video of how to handle it when “you” have a narcissistic employee. Many folks talk about how to respond to a narc boss, but I’m telling you that having a narc employee is absolutely horrible! And, it’s dangerous! I need your help!! Love your videos. You are helping millions of us! Thank you!
They will cause you to have a nervous breakdown if you let them. You must get a lawyer and run as fast as you can. Absolutely you must adore him 24 - 7 .
Could you maybe make a video on what mental illnesses or conditions have an overlap with narcissism or look similar? And what capacity to change those personalities have compared to „typical narcissistic personalities“? Thank you for your work! :)
From my experiences with these Entities I do not like that a disorder label has been created for them, maybe they did so for ppl whom are not religious or spiritual but in my opinion and from what I've actually seen for myself Narcissists are Evil. Just that, they are the Devils puppets, or perhaps the devil himself piloting all of the meat suits out there!
Narcissists come down to ONE single thing. EVI. Narcissists are the Devil in a meat suit. A piloted vessel. Those of us who are good hearted, Earth Angel's, we are attacked constantly. The devil is constantly after us because we have God within us and he hates it.
You do a Great Job at explaining what often(to myself at least) seems a very complex topic, and differentiating the unhealthy narcissistic behaviour from the acceptable sometimes similar behaviours we all share 👍🏾 Awesome! Thanks
I had a close relationship with a narcissist for the past 15 years, purely online. Really devastating stuff. She abused me in some really monstruous ways and did it with ease since the fact we only interacted through the internet gave her free reign to lie about anything she wanted. One of the things she did was pretend she had a heart condition and often when I did something she didn't like she'd pretend it was triggered and that put her in the hospital, then for days while she was "in the hospital" I'd have to appease her. She used this to force me to run some roleplaying game for like 4-8 hours a day daily for years. She did countless things more over the past decade. The real danger that the internet adds to these people is that they now have a place to lie about everything, about their fake success and victimhood, and your chances of figuring it out are far lower than they would be in real life, and the extreme they can take their lies to in an environment where they're your only source of information about them is essentially limitless.
Correct spent 10 months with one on a purely virtually, lies with ease, morally low, find only pleasure in sex related conversations, complete disregard for boundaries, made promises he never kept, future faking was he did with me the entire 10 months. Promised to get me a car for someone you have not seen, that was a serious red flag. He was very charming at the onset, no empathy at all. When I got fed up with his manipulations and future faking I ended it. It was after I released he could be a narc. He quickly jumped inbox with a friend of mine in a desperate move to get supply when I discarded him suddenly without notice. They are horrible people. I feel so disgusted I spent an hour talking to him. He was a complete scam.
Dr. Ramani thank you so much for making these videos. It has been super helpful to me. Is helped me understand the narcissists abuse I endured for 28 yrs. I have been on my own for 6months and working on not going back like I have in the past. Thank you for helping me see what I felt and thought but did not quite understand. I always thought I was alone and had to figure out on my own. These videos give me a understanding and cures my soul. Because now I know I was not crazy...just gaslighted. Again thank you for helping me and others understand that we cannot change narcissists and to let go of the hope that life will one day be happy with them. That will not happened and as a co-defendant is a hard pill to swallow. Is a journey and we need all the tools we can get and your content is a strong firm tool I now have. Thank you again.
Emotional abuse is physical abuse. Neglect is physical abuse. Abandonment is physical abuse. Financial abuse is physical abuse. Verbal abuse is physical abuse. Spiritual abuse is physical abuse. And OBVIOUSLY sexual abuse is a VIOLENT form of physical abuse EVEN if you "consented out of fear, guilt, desperation, or obligation" and EVEN if you were complicit to the point they didn't have to physically hold you down and force entry or contact. If you KNOW if your HEART that what transpired was AGAINST YOUR WISHES IT IS PHYSICAL ABUSE. Even if no "physical force" was used. EVEN IF YOU "TECHNICALLY SAID YES" OR SAID YES "AT FIRST" you DID NOT agree to THE ABUSE. And even if you did "agree" to be abused it was ONKY UNDER DURESS AND AT THE MERCY OF SOMEONE WITH MUCH MORE POWER AND INFLUENCE AND MANIPULATION OVER THE CURCUMSTANCES THAN YOU ARE AWARE OF. Just because you don't have a bruise on your body does not mean that you aren't sufferingva subsequent injury handicap, or in agony. Just because someone SAYS OUT LOUD THAT they CARE about you and didn't MEAN to hurt you doesn't mean they are BEING HONEST ABOUT THEIR INTENTIONS. IT'S CALLED LYING WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND THEN PHYSICALLY ABUSES YOU.
My narcissistic parents wanted me to become an academic genius, I was just okay and because of that I quickly became the scapegpat. I believe that kept me from becoming a narcissist myself.
My mother is convinced she'll be a famous painter after her death. I mean, I do like her paintings. Her art is her one good trait. It's just... most people don't suddenly become famous after they're dead, you know... I wonder why it took me so long to recognise that this was grandiosity.
I was brought up not to brag and to be humble about any achievements. My ex narc constantly knocked me for having a poor self image and lacking confidence. I'm so confused at this point, that I don' t even know what I am anymore.
I'm a female with BPD, got that under control quite well, but my traps tend to be a bit narcissist'ish. I learn a lot of your videos on what not to be. Where too look out for in my own behaviour towards others. People in my envoirement told me that in the last year I became a lot easier in those aspects, so I guess it is helping me :) Sometimes it was not clear why people got upset with me, apperently I did some gaslighting without being aware, so I tend to be a lot more aware to not to do that. I'm not there yet, and never will be perfect but nobody is, however I made so much progress and I'm a little bit proud of that.
@@hyvsan9425 As soon as I feel like the bpd emotions boiling down and want to react in that way, I try to ask myself how would I want to be treated. So basicly I tried to learn myself tricks that give me a little moment to think before I react. Same goes with the gaslighting and manupulating, if I feel like I'm going down that road I try to ask myself is this ok, would it be ok if someone does this to me? If that answer to myself is no I try to reflect why I'm still wanting to do it. Then learn about how to cope with that situation different. But from time to time I'll still make my misstakes. However If grown far enough to see my own misstakes and tell someone that I'm sorry about it, and that I still working on it. The toxic behaviour is mostly towords people that are close to me, my main reason to wanting to change was because I didn't want to wrek my relationship. The way i was out of control would have broken it. But being self aware is my big key towards the problem. Sorry for spelling misstakes, english isn't my main language
The scary thing is I think we all have some narcissistic tendencies, just in different levels, this video sounds like every person i have met in my life, myself at some point in my youth…
OMG I'm still laughing at the "I am ADHD" - I am so naive that I actually believed my boss the first times she said that 🤣🤣🤣 This is the best one. I get the "Bipolar type II" excuse quite often for all the impulsive and excessive reactions too. Honestly Narcissistics put an amazing show together. When you start getting it, and mastering gray rocking, it can be very entertaining. I look at it like that now, it's less depressing than trying to reason them.
Contact the above 👆🏻 they once helped me spy my partner’s phone I think it’s best to know a cheat by accessing their device remotely without their knowledge ❤
I have a co-worker who ALWAYS praise herself and criticize other people’s appearances, output and personality. She is a GRAMMAR POLICE and despite she’s not a native English speaker, she corrected my AMERICAN friend’s sentence when in fact it was an American SLANG 😂 She always tell the people around her how she’s gonna be promoted because of her skills and exceptional output and always tell some how lazy or dreadful their work are. She almost always complain when it was her who brought them to herself in the first place! She shared to me once that she doesn’t understand why people are leaving her side or cooled the way how they interact with her. We were close, but now I will absolutely stop feeding her ego by not reacting to her stories and asking the SPECIFICS if she’s gonna exaggerate praising herself. Thanks Dr. Ramani for this video. It is very educational and relatable.
My sister is this all over. She can talk for hours about herself. She drinks alcohol daily. Everyone is a problem. Except her. I feel for her children and her partner.
Are narcissists ever alcoholics or addicted to other substances? I am in 12-step recovery, and recently at a Speaker Meeting I heard someone tell their story. My gut feeling was that there was something missing. His speaking gave me the creepy feeling that he was high on some substance that I could not quite identify. There was something inauthentic and contrived about his sharing. It was like reverse grandiosity "look at me how messed up I was." He had this unique skill of sharing outrageous behavior that would generate that kind of laughter associated with identification. In a perverse way, he sounded like he was a substance abuse stand-up comedian, if there is such a thing. When I abused substances, I acted outrageous at times, but mainly I wanted to numb myself to feelings and reality I didn't want to face. I was able to feel confident to the extreme. Mostly, I got a feeling of invulnerability which led to risk taking be it social risky business or the dare devil kind. I may be asking a "which came first the chicken or the egg?", question. Does alcohol or drugs trigger latent narcissism? Do grandiose narcissists who have multiple failures turn to alcohol and drugs?
Narcissistists especially grandiose use alcohol a lot because, especially since they are often between partners, as a social outlet, going to bars to get new friends to boast to, and to find new intimate partners. So I can't say they are addicted but they largely use it as social lube and dull the awareness of their target audience. Since they aren't emotional there isn't an addictive need to self soothe. They are desperately controllers, so being addicted takes away control.
A video request: could you make a video on children with disabilities of narcissistic parents, or rather how a narcissistic parent treats such a child? Both my parents are narcissistic. There are 3 of us: I am the oldest daughter, then there is my younger brother, we're adults now. Our teenage sister has got a Down syndrome. I always thought that my parents dealt with it well (before I realised who they are), and now I think quite often how they treat my sister and how does it feel to them (dad is overt, mom is covert). Or maybe there is such a video already on your channel? Thank you so much for all the insights!
Oh the older Narc I know had perfected the flat face, blank eyes as his listening pose. Picking up pieces of what was said to twist and use as weapons, but never really hear.
When my mom met my dad, she said everything was fun, exciting, his family was amazing, and his parents were soooo successful. They went traveling everywhere, camping, hotels, dinners out, clubs and casinos. Fun, fun, fun! It was one big happy grandiose fun family! 😄 Then when I grew up, all I heard my dad say, over and over and over again, was how our city was "The best city on the world!" and my school was "the best school in the country! You could never find a better education!" (Not even close btw) However, a few years ago after my grandparents past and he was the only one left living there, my dad changed his tune "This city is awful, nothing to do here. I wanna move to a bigger better city." "But dad," I said "isn't this your dream city? You always said it was..." "No, never was." He said. "New horizons is waiting for me!" Me: 🤦♀️
I have strong patterns of grandiose narcissus but my mother never told me i am best or whatever, i was always feeling it inside me thou that i am the best and i can always be the best i was very competitive with everyone and wanted to be number one always! it was hard thou but i never stop still on my way concur the world😝😘❤️
I love your videos as it helps me in my world. My biggest challenge is my husband's potential brother narcissist. As I have cut the person out of my life and my children's lives, the person uses the family's religion to really push on my husband. I feel a lot of guilt for all that he goes through. This brother is relentless with shame and guilt manipulation. I wish there was a way to help him without involving myself with the brother at all. I always appreciate how much I learn from your videos and they help validate my experiences with people like this.
Contact the above 👆🏻 they once helped me spy my partner’s phone I think it’s best to know a cheat by accessing their device remotely without their knowledge ❤
Whoa! My ex was larger than life… when you said he could not spell ‘the’ THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED with the word ‘then’. Amazing, that was a flashback 😂. Glad he is long gone.
Just dated a girl who kept saying she is going to become a lawyer, then become president(which is fine) but she would literally try to talk to every single possible person she could, then tell me it’s because they’re gonna vote for me one day like “I’m better than all of them” and “people might shoot at me so you better be able to take a bullet for me. I’m so righteous and people will hate me because of it”. We’d go to a concert and she’d be like “I can sing better than her and I’m prettier I also know how to manage bands I could make them way more famous” Constantly telling me “I can get any job I want I’m perfect, I never make mistakes and you should listen to me” Telling me”you do not get to have me on your arm unless you obey what I say, you’re negative attitude reflects on me” It was putrid and I’m glad I’m out.
Wow, that descriptive of my neighbor, of whom I’m in quilt class & Bible study with. Sadly, everyone is blinded to her & are wrapped around her little finger. She sucks up all the attention of everyone in the room & is smearing my name. When will these supposed Christians wake up to the burnt coffee @ church!!
Thank you very much mam i am from india in the country like india where the narcissism is so common that it is coming from the root of the family i came to your channel because i felt something around me is not okay that taught me this disorder now a days i can sense in family friends function how people drag about themselves how they make others feel less valuable whenever they tell about themselves i can see that disgusting happiness on their face mam you're doing great job again thank you very much for your videos
May i ask a question? Can someone have "partial" narcissism or is it a full package? İ mean i sometimes witness some parts of me to regard narcissistic ( fear of rejection on high levels ) but on the other hand i do not have lack of empathy or a grandiosity feeling? İf you explain it in a later conversation i would be really grateful. You are a kind of soul sister to me, so thank you in advance for all ❤🤗
Perhaps it's not narcissism at all. One characteristic doesn't create a diagnosis. Sometimes we are humans with one weak area. That being said fear of abandonment and rejection is a hallmark of Borderline disorder. And Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are in thecsame cluster of personality disorders, Cluster B. So there are common self concept issues.
Im not a narc but i keep my lambo parked around the block so neighbors dont grt jealous. My yacht and helicopter i only use when im alone because i dont want people to be envious or want to use me. I learned this going to college to become a doctor. Never got the degree but i know a thing or 2 bout a ting or 2
Literally in the middle of watching “the wolf on Wall Street” … it’s so crazy because the main character fits the bill of a grandiose narcissist! A filthy rich one. It’s kind of triggering.. but I can’t look away! 😆🤦🏾♀️
My narc father literally calls himself a shaman healer and my enabler mother is his cult follower. Times when he has verbally attacked me all while charging and intimidating me; my mother had called that interaction as “healing”. He has been kicked out of temples because he was not respecting the temple and then wondered why he was kicked out 😂 When you speak clearly to him basic thoughts. He spins it around into some dramatic statement in his “healing voice” that makes zero fucking sense. He and my mother fixed their diets. My mom learned she had a gluten intolerance. But my father doesn’t eat processed foods and basically survives off beans. So I believe he uses this to make him feel he’s so much better than the rest of Americans eating the American diet. And my mom believes his abuse to us back in the day was partially because of his diet. He went through a phase when I was in high school where he got a flat top and wanted to be called seargent dad. He has zero military background. I was the asshole punk teen for rebelling against playing into this. He also go religious right after that and woke me up at 4am throwing holy water on me cuz I was possessed. And then maybe a couple months later chose the dumbest reason to start a fight. Cops called twice cuz he broke the house. I was told to go to my grandparents for safety. And then he had my mom tell me that I gotta figure out what I’m gunna do because he’s disgusted at the thought of me in his house. So that was the day I was officially kicked out. But he will still say to this day the “cops told you to get the fuck out of my house”. So yea I’m trying to figure out how to heal from this because no matter how well I do in my life there’s still something holding me back from loving myself or feeling motivation or loving life. It comes in waves. So I think I can work on it
I remember being in the ferry and a n. Talking really loud on the phone so that everyone had to listen. Then she said: “You can’t keep a good woman down!” I choked and half spat out my drink! I had to grab my bag and run away laughing 😂!!!! I could not help it….
I’m not accused of anything actually and definitely NOT grandiose . I can do what I say I can . Gaslighting!! I do think however- some of the narcs I know USE people and then stomp on them - sabotage the people that helped them - the guy I dated- He had no job and was in a really bad place physically & financially- I AM responsible for creating his job for him that allowed him to get some other similar teaching jobs - allowed him to alleviate his anxiety- pushing him to go to the doctor- pushed him to the gym - I got him to his destination- I am responsible for that - because I’m a good coach- not because I’m codependent- he re-paid me by attacking my job and humiliating me publicly. And continuing to have contact with the person who was intervening in a police investigation into assault charges. Yep !! That’s a great person!
I realized the other day how my grandiose narc mom is also a user of people. She only contacts you when she needs something. She also has used all the men in her life, all 5 husbands. She met a nice "normal" guy in the late 80s whom she thought was "boring" because neither he nor his family had any drama. She likes John Wayne types, saviours on white horses. And even though she hated her own mother, she still had her live with us so that she could help pay the mortgage so that my mom could make her weekly shopping trips to buy more clothes and jewelry from QVC and all the shopping networks. And me getting a job, following through with my music dreams in Los Angeles, etc, means that mother loses control over her baby adult child because I now have my own income and career and life. Yeah, I fell for it as well. I didn't know any of this at the time. But I knew my mother was severely effed up; I knew that by the time I was 10-11 years old.
Is that all Dr. R ? I make my sales target on the 2nd day of the month and have a free bentley as company car and a ferrari for the shopping spree and i'm planning my space trip next July right after I take over General Motors and fire everybody. Also it my birthday next week, for the 4th time this year and I'm having my 5th house decorated by an award winning designer. After that I'll take on elon and brandson together.
I'm experiencing minds games, with my bf helove testing you if your not strong they will be breaking you down or bring you down. And no matter hiw hard you try to keep up with then knowing that something is wrong in their head it traps you at some point. No matter how many time you confront them some they get mad or use manipulation on you and makes you think is your fault or just admit it for a one time thing make you feel their chaging.
In my experience, if you are the sole target of a grandoise narc's rage episode and you try to stand up for yourself then yes they won't physically attack you the way a malignant narc would - but they will tell you the most vicious and hurtful things you have ever heard in your life. And they will expect you to thank them afterwards for "helping" because "nobody loves you as much as me to always tell you the truth even when the truth is you are awful - be grateful for my honesty."
I feel like I would have to have a long conversation about narcissism with Dr. Ramani in order to understand everything and how to delineate that with all the caveats that other mental issues/needs bring in.
I feel like my ex is grandiose and covert. I can’t tell which one he is. I just know he is one, but he definitely fits the grandiose narcissist better.
I have a brother-in-law who talks about himself like he is a superhero, but realistically he works 20 hours a week for minimum wage at a retail store, and has his own 'business' of small engine repair. But he breaks even with his 'business' of sitting on the couch 4 days a week and barely having any customers. He turned down full time work at his part time job because he doesn't want full time work to get in the way of his 'business'. My sister works 6 days a week and is thinking of getting a second job. She makes sure my three nephews have health insurance through the state, and she cannot convince my brother-in-law to try harder because he thinks he is doing enough. It's really infuriating to watch, but that's all I can do.
I've known (at least) three in my life that were clearly this way. With the most recent one - a friend - it was like "well, at least we could have some fun times going out to places ". Actually, listening to someone's BS that doesn't make any sense and that you can not question - because they get upset - is really miserable. Oh, and this was a guy who supposedly had a big time job but lives with roommates, drives a beater car, and doesn't have an emergency fund.
I actually feel bad for them. It isn’t their fault. It’s a reflection of how they were raised. They were literally starved of attention their whole lives and they’re stuck in the habit of begging for it.
I think that instead of showing narcissistic rage, grandiose narcs often get away with situation by weaponised incompetency. They'll act too innocent that will protray the victim as the wrongdoer. Then they'll boast infront of the enabler how they fooled the victim, gaslighted and manipulated.
