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The real issue is people thinking tiktok videos are actually representative of anybody's real life. However, her having no assets on her name is a true red flag.
I agree and that’s what happens within certain communities like the Mormon cult. Women are seen like reproductive cattle and of lower value. I feel deep down that Hannah is really exhausted but she’s not going to show what’s really going on behind doors. You can see some sadness and exhaustion in her eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul. She’s bottling up her real feelings because she’s already invested in her brand name and has 8 kids. I hope she’s stacking up some savings on a separate account in case of an emergency, but I doubt it, she’s already programmed to be a machine to her kids and husband. Her identity was drowned by her husband and she looks like a scared puppy seeking his validation.
I had a brother who was a wonderful husband to his wife of 15 years and a loving father to their 4 children. He was a devout Dad while his wife stayed at home with the kids. Until he had a massive heart attack. He died suddenly and without warning at 42. Of course we as a family stepped in to help but for all purposes, his wife was thrust without notice into being a single mom of 4 and had to find a job. Always have a career path, keep up your credentials, do part time work, whatever you can. Stuff happens, be prepared.
I hate thinking about situations like this but it makes me grateful for life insurance! If my husband were to die I would have a few years buffer before needing to find work or starve.
100%! That is exactly what my husband and I have done. He works and supports us and our 9 kids. I am also an RN with about 13 years of ICU/trauma/ER experience, having worked until baby number 5, going PT and then later PRN. We have homeschooled since our eldest began 1st grade, and continue to do so to this day and 5 out of our 9 have completed high school with honors. Our two eldest are both working as engineers, one as an electrical engineer and the other as a chemical engineer. The other three are still working while in college, as the oldest 5 all plan to work for themselves. They started their business in 2020 and it is going extraordinarily well despite the pandemic and economic downturn! We could not be more proud and grateful for all the Blessings they have brought to us all. But yes it is always important to prepare for our future!❤
I also don’t understand why not having help is a flex. Help is good. I understand wanting to do some things yourself, you love to cook so you cook. But exhaustion is a sign you’re not taking care of yourself. You cant pour from an empty cup.
More like, he isnt taking care of her. I'm willing to bet if Hannah had access to family finances as other wives of billionaires/heirs, she'd hire help for herself that benefits her. Unfortunately, Daniel isnt those sorta husbands who uses his financial blessing to bless his wife
It’s cuz for the trad-lifestyle a big part of it is doing everything yourself. That’s why trad-women often homeschool, clean and cook, and take care of the kids themselves, but rich trad-wives for sure make use of nannies and housekeepers. BF herself has a nanny and housekeeper who come by once a week. She even said.
It's all bound up in individualism as a core of capitalism - asking for help means community, which means relying on each other, which means we're responsible for each other.
Yep, I agree. When anything grows, assistance is necessary. Especially managing a farm that size. Because they are now running a large business. And then there are children to raise as well. That amount of work and responsibility will be too much for anyone to handle.
I will never understand why people are using highly edited and curated social media influencers as a reference for how they should be living their personal lives...
Cuz they’re dumb. Trad-influenced don’t live the way they preach, but people want to believe a fantasy instead of the reality our grandmothers warned us about.
They didn't. A times reporter interviewed them at their farm for four hours. In these for hours the reporter recorded enough on their interactions to come to the conclusion how patriarchic their relationship is. The ballerina is fawning, deferring to her husband, interrupted by her husband, he controls her healthcare choices, monopolizes the reporters time who was there to interview ballerina mom not the husband. She had a dance room now a kids playroom. She had a closet for her pageant dresses now a box in the garage, she has a dream to go to greece they do vacations where the husbands one, her personality and identity is shrinking from year to year. Physically as well as mentally. For a reporter to get this in a 4 hours talk is astonishing and shows how little the couple is aware of their relationship and it bleeds through even so they were both in media training mode. They were so unaware that they were utterly surprised about what the british reporter wrote. And I think the article was an observation and not a hit piece. She took them as an example and counter image for British women. American people weren't her target audience.
I agree and that’s what happens within certain communities like the Mormon cult. Women are seen like reproductive cattle and of lower value. I feel deep down that Hannah is really exhausted but she’s not going to show what’s really going on behind doors. You can see some sadness and exhaustion in her eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul. She’s bottling up her real feelings because she’s already invested in her brand name and has 8 kids. I hope she’s stacking up some savings on a separate account in case of an emergency, but I doubt it, she’s already programmed to be a machine to her kids and husband. Her identity was drowned by her husband and she looks like a scared puppy seeking his validation.
@@Mana-xd2tp nah bc I used profanity and said something and my comment got deleted so obviously she’s filtering comments or has certain things blocked which was surprising to me bc lol why even have a comment section if you’re going to be annoying like that
That says everything about that religion. She’s just a breeding machine and a maid at this point. The glamour they try to push is just a cover up to avoid international backlash.
@@catholicguy1073 I really question that evidence as well rich people with that money have everything in trusts - they never have stuff in their own name for security, privacy and financial reasons.
@@technicolorProducer considering I work in the legal field I can speak on this. At that level of income there was I’m sure a prenup and in it came with the responsibility for her to be taken care of a level she agreed to. Secondly there are laws in place as well if the divorce occurs. She isn’t walking away empty handed. Remember Bezos wife she didn’t get 50% which she shouldn’t however she walked away with Billions. They are a rich couple she will be fine if something happens. The guy will also have the pressure from the kids to do right by their mother. Also most states have laws that anything they gained together after the marriage financially is 50/50 unless otherwise stated in a prenuptial agreement that both parties agreed to. At that level they argue the divorce before the marriage.
@@catholicguy1073 great contributions...I think about the Steve Jobs autobiography he would get a new S-series Mercedes and never put a plate on it because he was worried about some crazy tracking him down.
She lost the right to be completely "left alone" the moment she started posting her personal life for the world to see and what she does is gaslighting women, she has the time to do the baking and aesthetic, because she has an army of employees behind her, what you don't see is the help cleaning and doing the heavy lifting behind the camera. A lot of young women will go into motherhood blind and with unrealistic expectations
I think the point of her lifestyle being unhealthy is actually the fact that she doesn't have help! If you read the article or even watch the whole video, they mention that they have a member of staff to help with housework and teaching, but that is all. She alone is doing the cooking, supervising the homeschooling, keeping kids occupied, and many other things, like managing social media, farm work, etc. And she's been doing all this pregnant or caring for newborns at times, which is already so strenuous that people should get time off for it! If she had help cleaning up every single mess (not a bad thing btw, it's normal to receive help) she wouldn't be spending a week in bed or fainting from exhaustion, which we know she does. We don't even know if she anticipated her social media account going this far. Honestly I wish she had more people helping her.
@@mothalorah9704 Hannah has said that she has a nanny and housekeeper come once a week, and she only cooks from scratch when she makes content. She is not doing everything alone or at a constant rate.
I am from South Africa, and I've noticed that not having domestic help around the house is a Western thing. Most countries in America and Europe associate having a maid or nanny with laziness, whereas in Africa, it is almost unheard of. African homes, whether middle class or upper class, typically have help, and it is more affordable than in the Western world. African households understand that in order to run a house successfully, domestic help is necessary
The South African domestic help industry is obscenely abusive. People commute hours a day for peanuts while the people they work for make 10x their salary. But yeah, it's rare to see families without help, even if it's just a few times a week. And families that can't afford help usually enlist a granny to help.
If you live in a country where getting a nanny/cleaner/housekeeper is relatively affordable that means that there most likely is a bigger gap in wealth and education, i.e. there are more people willing to do cheap labour for lack of other opportunities. It’s not something for other countries to aspire to.
@@bookllama8158 and wouldn't you know it, South Africa has some of the worst wealth inequality in the world. And some of the worst employment rates, too.
Yes! My husband is from DRCongo and his mom always had hired help around the house. The wealth gap is an issue in Africa, but I think we need to rethink the "lazy" narrative we have around hired help here in the west
The LDS church actually places ads on the videos of influencers who use certain keywords, like “Mormon” or “Utah”. Alyssa Grenfell did a video on this. The ad revenue that Mormon influencers earn is much higher than what other influencers would earn for similar content. They may be stay-at-home mothers or tradwives, but they are also bringing in the cash. And since Mormons tithe, at least 10% is going back to the LDS church.
Not having help with child care is insane. These so called traditionalists need to learn their history. At no point before the 20th century was it normal for people to have 8 kids and no help at home. People lived with/near extended families and child rearing was shared across multiple people. Her handling 8 kids on her own is not traditional it's insane. It's not sustainable and it's not healthy for her or for the kids.
“It’s sad” lmao Nothing is as gross as women judging and tearing down other women under the guise of being “concerned & sympathetic”. At some point, you gotta ask yourself why you’re invested in a stranger’s relationship, instead of worrying about your own life.
“It’s sad” lmao Nothing is as gross as women judging and tearing down other women under the guise of being “concerned & sympathetic”. At some point, you gotta ask yourself why you’re invested in a stranger’s relationship, instead of worrying about your own life.
As an ex-muslim, Islam is very similar. Especially what the girl in the white tank with red nails said. I also feel the way about hijab - it's not real free choice. The opposite of the choice is hellfire in the afterlife and extreme guilt in this life.
Poor lady having to be in bed due to exhaustion and having multi millions..not hiring help are they out of their minds? Get a farm worker, workers, a tutor/ teacher, a nanny! Imagine just the dishes and laundry amount daily….plus all the animals…omogosh…😢poor lady, she’s dying in the flesh…I knew a woman who worked and was a super mom and wife liberal she’s dead. So…it’s not a religious thing she was spiritual and liberal…Women get boundaries…
Spiritual and liberal is malarkey they don’t exist together. And one is not spiritual if they are not religious. Spiritual to what, the earth, what God, what creed etc? Utter nonsense
There are definitely degrees of mormonism. I have a friend who's mormon, is married with two young kids and pursuing her PhD. Her mother who is also Mormon had a thriving career as a professor at a secular university and now her and her husband help with my friend's kids. The pop violinist Lindsey Stirling is also openly mormon and she has always been single with no kids. The Olympic gymnast Mikayla Skinner is also openly mormon and open about using birth control while training for the Olympics. She now has a baby but it at least seemed like something she really wanted. Not discounting these other women's stories by any means. Just wanted to bring this up so if anyone encounters a mormon on the street they don't immediately assume they are deeply oppressed. One should instead ask them questions about their faith and lifestyle before passing a blanket judgement because of their religion. (Honestly the same is true of most if not all religions).
YES!! I keep seeing these people assume that we are oppressed and indoctrinated, but I have honestly felt none of that as an LDS woman. I have been openly encouraged to pursue an education and do what I want with my life. Thank you for defending us!!!!
A sacrifice is giving up something good for something better. Giving up something better for something good is simply a bad decision. And what is better vs good is deeply personal. Just started the video but I wanted to say this because I think sometimes people don't understand what sacrifice should be. Edit now that I finished the video. To make that personal decision of "better or good" you do need informed consent and not given choices in an extremely biased light or being coerced into them.
For me, and many other women, to sacrifice the career for the family is actually giving up something good for something better. So stop asumming that you know what is better for other people.
@@luizairimia6769they aren’t saying that, they said what is better vs good is deeply personal, and I fully agree, but that having informed consent is best. And honestly, that goes for most all of life choices. It is better if you have more information to make big choices
I agree and that’s what happens within certain communities like the Mormon cult. Women are seen like reproductive cattle and of lower value. I feel deep down that Hannah is really exhausted but she’s not going to show what’s really going on behind doors. You can see some sadness and exhaustion in her eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul. She’s bottling up her real feelings because she’s already invested in her brand name and has 8 kids. I hope she’s stacking up some savings on a separate account in case of an emergency, but I doubt it, she’s already programmed to be a machine to her kids and husband. Her identity was drowned by her husband and she looks like a scared puppy seeking his validation.
As someone who was born and raised and still live in Utah, the messaging the Mormon church sends is damaging. I stopped going to church at the age of about 15/16 but still spoke highly of the church until I was in my earlier 20s. I wouldn’t say I was the most dedicated Mormon but I believed in a lot of the teachings, but that said I’m almost 30 in therapy and deprograming myself from the teachings. Personally I feel like it’s a cult that people are forced into because their parents/family are in it. I would have never choose to get baptized if I had the knowledge I know now. But they do baptisms starting at the age of 8. As a young woman you go to “Young Women” on usually a Wednesday night were they start teaching you how to be a good wife and mother and how to act and dress to get a godly man…at 12 years old. But the boys get to go to “young men’s” where they play basketball and do scout activities.
Oh my gosh! Yes I'm in Utah too. It's so frustrating that no one sees it at the age of 12. I would just tell my young women leaders that I was never becoming a mother. I was never becoming a wife because I refused their narrative of of how my life should be to get into heaven
I am currently LDS and I still don’t see how you find it cultish. I find a lot of empowerment from my faith and I feel very empowered to choose what I want to do with my life. I’ve never had the “how to find a godly man” talk, and maybe that’s because I’m younger and am in a new age, but I’ve had many of the same opportunities as the young men (and I can see it now that I’m out of the young men’s/women’s program). I was allowed on high adventure and we often did sports activities over the typical “girly” activities.
The trad-wife movement is annoying to me as a traditional/conservative woman because the idea that a wife has to do it all by herself in terms of childcare and household management is so isolating and lonely. Traditional cultures, past and present, all over the world, do not function like this. Instead, children are raised by a “village” of family/close friends and everyone works together to keep the house running. Great video though, as always!❤ (Edit for grammar)
Yeah but the "village" is usually in the developing world without the modern luxuries and amenities American women wouldn't do without. In the States, if you want the village then you have to pay for it. I don't know why people think they're entitled to their family members stop working to take care of their children.
Woah, I was on board with the live and let live aspect of this story, but the point about Neeleman sometimes being so exhausted that she can’t get out of bed for a week hit me. That’s not exhaustion, that’s depression 😕 now I actually feel a bit bad for her, despite the fact that I would absolutely love that lifestyle.
This is the reality for so many trad-wives, but everyone thinks they’ll just be happy serving their family and doing nothing else. Women in the 50’s went crazy from the monotony of this lifestyle. Doctors would even tell them to get a job because it got them out of the house and gave them purpose and pocket money.
Have you considered the fact that he comes from money and likely was given the money for that home from a family trust. And that the trust likley has a lawyer for an administrator whos instructions are to protect the beneficiaries of that trust and so enforced that the farm was only listed in his name.
Just to make you feel better about asking people to subscribe. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t subscribed to someone that I watch very frequently until they said that less than 10% of people that watch are actually subscribed! It can be a helpful reminder!
What bothers me about the whole “sometimes she gets so ill from exhaustion she needs to stay in bed for a week”, is that she’s not transparent about on her social media. She only shares the highlights and hard work and that is what creates unrealistic expectations.
As a girl who grew up Mormon, got married at 17, and is now a mother of seven children, this really hits home. I am no longer Mormon. I feel like I never lived a life.
I find it offensive when you say the bar is low to be a good dad. The bar for being a good dad is the same as being a good mom. Unfortunately the average dad in our society is not a good dad and we should expect more from all father's.
I think that's what she was referring to. Obviously ideally all dads should live up to a certain standard, but because so many don't meet it, society sets a higher bar.
I never understand why people think members of the church have no choice if they are a woman. I run two small businesses, I'm married and active in the church. I'm not forced to work or to not work. My name and my husband's is on our apartment. My name is the only one on my two businesses. I'm the one who runs them so I just filled it out in my name.
Here’s the thing about the “choice” to give up dance. Of course she could have wanted to get married and have kids young! But… doesn’t seem like it… Hannah turned him down and said she wanted to focus on school and dance when he first asked her out. He stalked her (got his rich daddy to get him the seat next to her on a flight he learned she was on from Utah to NY). When they started dating, she said she wanted to date for at least a year. He said no, and proposed in like 3 months. They were married after 1 month of getting engaged (cuz, mormonism)… so, with that background, biased presentation of information or not, I’m not seeing anything that doesn’t point to Hannah wanting to AT LEAST wait for a few years before starting the life she now has, and of that choice for an opportunity to have a career at least for bit being taken from her Edit typo
Why do we need to get out of our own biases when we heard her say that she wanted NY and ballet? And she was 21! Not 25…and having babies was not something that had to be done immediately! What’s the big hurry? Take a trip, finish school….then have a family if you want w.
Do I think the journalist has a slant? Yes. Do I also think that Hannah probably enjoys parts of her life? Also yes. I think a lot of things can be true at once, and I do think theres a part of Hannah that longs for something different in her life- even if its something simple like help w childcare, etc. I just....there were some things in there that just made me.sad for her and the woman that she once was, and was lost when adaniel came on the scene. And I really think that Daniel gave her that apron to knock her down a peg and tell her where she was in that marriage. I hated it
i think to get even more of a perspective into the tradwife lifestyle and why it is controversial, it would be good to also tune into shanspeare’s video essays about tradwives and white supremacy. there is so much to be said and heard there, especially from a person of color with that lived experience. how are white supremacy, patriarchy, religion, and the tradwife movement connected? everything is connected and life IS political, the illusion of the abscence of politics in any topic is just privilege
Yes! I saw a criticism of the tradwife movement that pointed out it's for white women. Society will still expect women to do the jobs they're doing, but they'll expect the roles to be done by BIPOC
That’s why the trad-wife life is so controversial because it’s not just a choice. It’s tied to religion, politics, and certain ideologies that advocate for surpassing women’s rights and controlling women. That’s why I get so frustrated when women think it’s just raising kids and serving their husband. It’s not. It’s a whole mindset that is not in women’s favor, and many women end up in poverty once the marriage ends or something happens to their husband, but they have no means to get out.
I believe in housewives or traditional wives. You can be one whether you work or not. The thing I hated was the guilt of many women who stay home and can't compete with these women who often have unseen help in nannies and house cleaning! They have money enough to make long videos outting on makeup, making their own cough drops, and wearing beautiful dresses! I looked like crap when I stayed home!
The author of the article Megan Agnew did the following article in which she changed the tone and narration about her day with Hannah and in which she kinda admits that she misrepresented Hanna's life. Title of this second article "My day with the trad wife queen and what it taught me".
My problem is that there used to be strict child actor laws which came into place after the parents of early actors like Shirley Temple had all their money squandered. Children are supposed to have their own trust funds, school hours on set, and independent legal representation. Influencers like this are profiting off monetizing their children, and not treating them legally as actors. It's theoretically legal in some states, but it's a shitty way to strip your children of their privacy.
she sounds like she's denying the allegations in the interview while being held at gunpoint to be honest. Everything about the "Tradwife" trend makes my skin crawl and my stomach turn.
Great video! I also find this topic fascinating and complex. I’m a stay at home mom so I definitely lean more towards the “pro”trad-wife camp and sometimes I’m honestly surprised by the amount of irrational criticism people voice about it. I think it’s totally reasonable to view this content as inspirational or aspirational and still remain savvy enough to know it’s a commercial and trying to copy any type of lifestyle that someone else lives as a result of their unique circumstance, experiences, and dreams is dumb and naive. Just take snippets here and there of new ideas, wisdom, or perspectives that make sense to you in your life but quit trying to cookie cutter someone else’s life onto your own. It’s just going to turn your life into a bad pre-k art project. That’s worded so poorly but I’m tired and don’t want to edit lol but I don’t mean it to sound like I think ‘you = Ashley’ because I don’t think that’s what your doing. But ‘you=weird internet people with poor critical thinking skills or healthy boundaries’ I also cringe when people were lamenting the fact that she quit ballet to have a family as if struggling as a poor, hungry, neurotically competitive dancer in NYC is better than the life Hannah has now…seriously did no one watch that Black Swan movie?? The fact is that everyone’s life has multiple crossroads where you have to choose one option over another because we live in reality and even billionaires and ballerinas have to work within the same 24 hours we all get each day. It’s not a travesty or oppression or abuse to choose the option that lead to a big loving family, strong marriage, beautiful home, and successful business over the option that forced her to wreck her body but had spotlights. Geez the narcissism is just so blatant if you read a little between the lines and hear what some people think is the ‘pinnacle’ of life! It is definitely possible to find a realistic balance between sacrificing yourself to live in submissive servitude and getting to be center stage or have all eyes on you or whatever the hell these people crave. A lot of my life as a stay-at-home mom probably does wind up in the background but I’ve also found numerous opportunities where I wanted to achieve something that required the rest of family to sacrifice a little for my dreams. But like most normal families it’s not a big deal because I don’t demand that it’s only ever about me, we all kind of take turns being in the “spotlight” and it’s not a big deal. But it’s naive and stupid to think you never have to choose one opportunity over another that’s just not how life works. That’s just how you think it could work while you’re still in college trying to figure life out. But life is give & take and you figure that out pretty quick when you finally grow up.
I am still torn about this video and social medial discussion. Feminism should be about the right to choose what they want, which is what Ballerina Farm has done. But ultimately we can't know what Hannah feels or her life, her social media persona isn't real. I don't think either side is wrong. But thanks for this video!
It’s not about choice, but equality. CF is about choice and many women disagree with CF because it enables women to make choices that put them in situations of inequality like the trad-life style which puts women below men. That’s why it’s a separate branch.
I don't think it's true feminism until the religious teachings that men are the providers/leaders stops. I consider myself a feminist and feminism (the way I see it) is equal opportuniry for men and women. Right now it still skews heavily that women are encouraged to stay home. The conversation is far from balanced or equal.
so something i haven't heard a lot of people talk about when it comes to the sacrifice to her ballerina career is that being a ballerina sucks. even if you are the best of the best, you will make poverty wages and be worked to the that point your body breaks. often a professional ballerina isn't a ballerina for long as its just not a life anyone can reasonably keep up with, so for her to be able to put it aside while she still loves to dance as apposed to slowly growing to hate dancing might actually be the better course.
An exmormon in the UK. I got out many years ago. I got out had a career and one child. I never fitted the tradwife role. No regrets. If you want to stay at home that's up to you so long as there is no coercive control by family partners and religion. Mormon can be toxic for a lot of people, however, for some it can give purpose
Im so happy to have found your channel! I been watching a few weeks and just want to say I appreciate the way you handle topics. Its very neutral and kind. Also I love whenever you bring up statistics and data like in your daycare video lol I love a good, well researched topic have a nice day :)
**Urgent Warning for Women in Florida Considering Becoming Trad Wives:** If you're in Florida and thinking about becoming a trad wife, please take this seriously. As of July, Florida's divorce laws have changed, and the law is not on your side. It doesn’t matter if you gave up your career to support your husband’s-no one will care! Even if you have children and have been married for 18+ years, you will now receive the bare minimum in terms of support. Alimony is no longer guaranteed for life, even if you've never been in the workforce. You'll only get a few years of minimal support while your husband keeps his six-figure salary, leaving you with little to nothing. In court, many men become unrecognizable, showing no care or concern. Please think twice before giving up your career, education, or future financial independence for marriage. I know it's not what you want to hear, but this is reality. Divorce is over 50% in the USA. Pornography, dating apps, and access to prostitutes is ruining marriages. Our grandfathers didn't have free access to this stuff and it made it easier for them to be faithful. Anyway be careful be wise!!!
This is good, fuck paying alimony. Too many women abuse it in this country. Why should I pay you to divorce me? Also tradcon is gynocentric garbage anyway.
Can I just remind everyone, that in EVERY dairy farm, cows are artificially inseminated by someone sticking their whole arm up their backside, against their will, then having bull semen inserted in their vagina (the bull was also made to ejaculate by a human). Then, when her baby is born, the male calf is either slaughtered immediately as a waste product, or slaughtered at a couple months of age as veal meat. This is a byproduct of the dairy industry. The calf, male or female, is removed from its mother within 24-48 hours because humans want to profit from the milk that is designed for their calf. Cows grieve their babies and calves grieve their mothers. There is a lot of video evidence of this. After a few years of repeated impregnation, every year, and repeated removal of her calf, and repeated milking (for which she has been bred over the years to produce more and more milk), dairy cows are sent to slaughter at around 5-7 years old- she could live 20-25 years of age. Let's also talk about the mastitis and laminitis that dairy cows suffer from being milked so incessantly. So, I urge any reader here to look into the realities of the fdairy industry. #Dairy is Scary #Milk A short film by Ed Winters. Or go to tge Animals Australia website and look up the facts. The truths and realities are hidden from us for a good reason.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) and I love your channel! I had never heard of the Ballerina Farm before. From my experience , I think there is a wide range of people in church membership. I grew up in a very liberal city and all of the people I went to church with were normal/more on the progressive side. It wasn't until I moved to Idaho and Utah that I saw more of the negative Mormon stereotype (not everybody but some). Religious or not, I find some mom/wife content to be inspirational and others leave me feeling inadequate, especially short form content on Instagram. I think there are ways to go about sharing your faith online, but I think the 'join my religion and you will live a blissful life like the curated pictures I've chosen to post' not the way to do it.
The video that shows the farm is only in Daniel's name shows his name as the Registered Agent. This is the entity (dont know about Utah, but usually it has to be an individual person), who gets all the official mail for a business or gets served if the biz is sued. It could be anyone who fits certain criteria. A lot of people use their CPA for example. It doesn't mean she isnt a business owner 🤷
18:27 in fairness to EVERYONE else, I also grew up religious and nobody I knew was ever treated the same way Mormon girls grew up, which I'm basing on the "tradwife training" I saw in Alyssa Grenfell's video about it.
I am an active Mormon woman living in Utah. While I don't want to dismiss problems that any former Mormon women discussed in this video, I do want to make a big distinction between Mormon culture and actual Mormon doctrine. Mormon culture, rooted in previous generations, definitely encourages women to be stay at home parents with lots of kids, while the actual Mormon doctrine is that parenthood is encouraged, but how many kids to have is between spouses and God, and there is no requirement to be a stay at home parent if that's not what you want. I plan to have a career and children. Actual Mormon doctrine is that men and women are equal partners, NOT that the woman is subservient. Another actual Mormon doctrine is that every one should seek education. I have a master's degree, and that's not uncommon for younger women in the Church.
I thought they had official doctrine saying that men can have the priesthood and women can’t? That doesn’t directly translate to “women must be stay at home moms”, but how can they be equal partners if they basically think that God has a favorite gender?
@emmanarotzky6565 we believe women and men have different callings within the church. God made us different for a reason, otherwise we all would be women or all would be men.
@@emmanarotzky6565 this post and the response sounds exactly like Islam to me - eerily so. All the muslim women I know are educated and don't see their lifestyle as repressive and will tell you it's culture, not religion that perpetuates certain things... and yet in the same breath say men and women were created differently when questioned about the very clear difference in roles. As an ex‐muslim it's exhausting (as I'm sure it is for ex-mormons), like I promise the I didn't just leave the religion I was born into without research since that's not an easy thing to do.
Sorry but all religious apologists do this. "The religion is good actually. The bad parts you see are the culture, not the doctrine." This is just a weak no true Scotsman fallacy. I appreciate that you like your religion, but stop making excuses for it. If the doctrine is used to justify bad things then it's part of the religion. The distinction between doctrine and practice is moot for all those under its yoke, and rightly so.
@@zahrakassam2559yes, I've exactly the same rubbish from Muslims trying to distance themselves from the bad parts of Islam. It's just people trying to dampen their cognitive dissonance.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints doesn't have paid clergy on the local level. This means that all of the teachers that you encounter as a child, teen, and adult are all volunteers "called" to that position. This is pretty cool, as I have served in several roles, I have felt a strengthening in my personal relationship with God. This is also a major downfall as frequently "culture" and "tradition" is taught instead of doctrine. I feel so sorry for the girls that were taught to be subservient instead of equals with their husbands. I feel so sorry for the girls that were taught that their identity hinges on that of motherhood (even though we are taught that we are all children of God, which is a wonderful identity to have in and of itself). I'm grateful that the current president of the church is dispelling what is culture/tradition versus doctrine! But it's going to take a long time to dig out of that hole. I'm grateful the women that are now ex-Mormons found happiness that resonates with them! And can now recognize how awesome they are! All that being said, the husband in this situation doesn't seem like an entitled Mormon man, he seems like an entitled billionaire imo. And her name not being on anything is absolutely NOT a religious thing. My best guess is that his name has a LOT of pull with everything. I'd also bet they have a prenup that prevents her from co-owning anything. In the event of a divorce, then he loses no assets which most were very likely purchased with his family's money. And choosing between ballet and kids is not a matter of giving up dreams and choosing a different identity, it's because most ballerinas stage careers ends before the age of 30. It's not something you can go back to later in life.
As a SAHM that was a housewife before having a child, what bothers me about the Trad wife talk is that they aren’t actually either of those. They are self-employed work from home moms or wives. The filming they do, to gain a profit, is work and doesn’t reflect the life of a SAHM or housewife. There is no plot line or angle to create on social media for true SAHMs and housewives. Content creators are work from home self-employees workers. I don’t understand how people can view creators like Ballerina Farm as anything but that.
idk i mean she was basically coerced into a relationship and immediate marriage by this creepy ass man whose dad owns JetBlue. Mormonism doesn't allow for birth control and also emphasizes that as a wife your body only exists to please your husband. so did she really choose this life or was she just bred into it by luck of being born a Mormon woman?
Honestly as a believing Mormon myself I see this stuff as being quite fringe and extreme. I recognize a lot of messaging I grew up with, but honestly almost no one actually lives this way now or aspires to it. Most of the messaging has been dropped in the last decade or so, especially around single breadwinner families etc. I feel like a lot of the former members speaking were around the more extreme end of mormonism. I remember when I was young in the 90's when the single income household was still promoted a lot, they already told women that they need to finish their educations and make sure they would have something to stand on if things didn't work out. The whole "trad wife" thing has more to do with the rise of hyperconservatism than with mormonism. Yes there is some overlap, but I would look more to the rise in political extremism on the right and the "trad wife" movement as pick-me's catering to a far right audience.
The look in her eyes in the instagram video she posted is *bone chilling* I can’t believe Mormon culture, at least the aspects of a woman’s role. Yeah, I actually said it’s not a religion, it’s a freakin cult. Idk how people want to associate with that. That’s wild.
They sell a dream. It’s the same reason why women are attracted to trad-wife content despite older trad-wives advising not to do it, the lifestyle advocating for taking away women’s rights, and it’s insanely risky relying on one income, but everyone thinks they’ll live happily ever like what they see online, but not even these influences live this way.
I watched Bett Couper's video of the same article. As much as I find it interesting, I found your view much more nuanced and overall playing devil's advocate. Thank you so much
At 18, I wanted to be a single artist who lived in a high rise apartment in San Fran with bottles of wine and two cats by the time I was 25. Then I met a man who I believe is my soulmate, and began to wonder if I really wanted that or if I just fantasized about a life of independence. Now I am 29, married, pregnant with our son, we have two dogs and I work in insurance. I wouldn’t change a SINGLE THING! I am so in love with the life I have and I didn’t know I would want it until I dipped my toe into the pool. Aside from all the other things, Hannah changing the trajectory of her life when she met someone doesn’t make the man evil or Hannah unhappy. Things seriously just change. Now 8 kids with no help is cringe. Not a good light to paint in 😅😅
Something that's important to remember when it comes to Mormonism, or anything else really, Utah Mormonism, America Mormonism and then the rest of the world Mormonism, it's different. I grew up LDS/Mormon in south Africa and what happens in Utah Mormon culture doesn't happen in south Africa. Many couples become engaged at a young age, but they generally wait until studies are finished to get married and have kids. Growing up in the ward that I was in, keeping up with talents, skills and hobbies was something that was encouraged. But, Mormon culture is very weird, regardless.
i worked at ikea in salt lake city for about three years. saw almost nothing but mormons as customers there. all had at least four children under the age of eight with them. scary shit for real.
It’s so strange for me to see that in the western there is a trend called tradwife while here in China, girls are striving for a part in society/career. Different stages of development in different countries I assume. I am 30 and almost all my female friends have jobs and have to have jobs, to us, it’s insane if you have an education but then choose to have no career (most cases we can’t afford to😅). I am currently unemployed bcz I recently moved, and both my parents and my husband are encouraging me to go back to work soon. I guess for us common people, it takes two people in workplace to build a better life.😢
Not to mention that sexism is still at active in most workplaces in China. Women fight long to get where we are today and we can’t afford to go back to be tradwife and then lose all the channels for working and getting independence again. Being born at the 90s, I probably am the first generation in my family to get an easier access to career than all my female families had.
Hi. I am an LDS, or what is known for Mormon. Tbh, with this issue, the point on this video is insightful and I don’t think with the modern day that we are living rn, the trad wife scenario is not healthy. And I felt like they removed all the people in their life for help. Like what? They have money, they can afford childcare like seriously? I am so tired of these mormon stereotypes on the internet not because of the people around seeing and saying what the mormonism is about, it is about the mormon themselves that the put on a facade that they are this perfect little traditional family. Omg. No. Stop. This is not what we are taught. Not to where I am from tho. We are taught to use our agency to be the best version of ourselves, not this kind of crap. Ugh. No. Tbh, its not the religion, its the people in it, mormon or not.
Sarah Kinsley’s last single is literally about this. It’s crazy that “trad wives” have become such a controversial phenomenon that professional artists are making art about it. People clearly have quite strong opinions on it.
Under most (not all) states in the US anything acquired after marriage is considered marital property so to be fair in Utah it doesn’t really matter whose name is on the llc it legally belongs to both of them.
Since you said in the video that you don't know much about "Mormons" I thought I would contribute a few thoughts from the point of view of someone who is an active member of that faith 🙂 First, the terms "mormon," "mormonism," etc. are not the accepted way to reference our church or members of the church. We would like to be referred to as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints- wordy I know!- but it's important to us that the name of Jesus Christ not be erased because He is our center. The woman's role in this faith is to follow Jesus Christ! We make covenants with God to serve others in the life circumstance that we are in whether that is a circumstance with children or without, working or not. Those things are completely between an individual, their spouse if they are married, and God. I actually find it really insulting to be referred to as "just a uterus" and that my only job is to populate the earth with more members. That is not the doctrine of the church and, in my experience, has not been the practice either. I think problems come about when people push the way THEY live on other members. The experiences the people who have decided to leave make me really sad because they are SO opposite to the experience I have had- an experience that has helped me develop as a person and be kinder and more aware of the people around me. I feel for these other women's clearly painful experiences! In my own family, all of us active members, almost every mother works, and those who can afford to, hire nannies, cleaners, etc. It's also important to remember that this is a worldwide church and that all of the experiences noted seem to be from a set of people who seem to share many cultural characteristics.
Nowadays there's not much push for women to stay home or have allot of kids, but in the past it was a big push for it. & that culture of expecting women to be stay at home moms has continued. I used to be Mormon (from birth until last year) & I never thought the church was oppressive to women in any way. Once I left I realized that looking back, there wasn't anyone outright saying it, but there was definitely the subliminal message that women's role in life is to be stay at home moms & have babies. Here's some quotes from prophets about this "It is a misguided idea that a woman should leave the home, where there is a husband and children, to prepare educationally and financially for an unforeseen eventuality." -Ezra Taft Benson "The husband is expected to support his family & only in an emergency should a wife secure outside employment" -Spencer W Kimball "Some years ago, President Benson delivered a message to the women of the church. He encouraged them to leave their employment & give their time to their children. I sustain the position he took" -Gordon B Hinckley "The mother who entrusts her child to the care of others so that she may do non motherly work, whether for gold, fame, or civic service should remember that a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame" -Spencer w Kimball
@@savannahmcilrath9658 I totally agree that this has been true historically- which makes sense for the time period and culture overall at the time for all of the quotes added here (even though the context for some of those quotes is pretty important and change the focus to analyzing your priorities and the reasons behind wanting to work .) It is important to note that policies change- doctrines don't. The consistent doctrinal message is that parenthood is one of our highest callings in life and that our lives should reflect that as a priority (which will look different for everyone. Only the Lord can look on the heart and determine that.) And I wouldn't even go so far as to say it was a policy of the Church for women to stay home. If you were a working mother at any point in our history, that did not keep you from engaging in any of the activities and ordinances of the Church. I wish it didn't take so long for cultures to change because it is hurtful to have people judge you on the way you are living and tell you that you are not following God "correctly." I have found it helpful to make sure that I am paying attention to the answers that I receive personally from God, what the leaders of the Church are saying now ,and doing the work to change my attitudes that need changing and giving grace to those who are judging me when they shouldn't. Maybe I was just really lucky, but the messaging I received as a youth and even more as a young adult was that motherhood is an extremely important, honorable role and that that role will look different for everyone. I was taught that I should make it a matter of prayer and that the if, when, and how many of children would be 100% between me, my spouse, and God. I don't think it will be productive for me to continuing engaging in this discourse in this kind of setting because it seems from the anecdotes in the video and other comments that my thoughts are not seen as valid because I am believed to be oppressed and brainwashed and not capable of seeing the "correct" opinion because of that. So I will end there, but I think we can all agree that judging the way other people live doesn't help anyone!
@@jessicacrane4151 if prophets words aren't considered doctrine, only policy... then what is considered doctrine?? Aren't they supposed to be the mouthpiece for the Lord? The church considers prophets words as doctrine, until the world changes it's standards & then they say "that was just policy, policies change"
What irks me, too, is the fact that you absolutely can’t meet the needs of every single child you have. You just can’t. ESPECIALLY without help. I mean shit, the oldest siblings are hardcore parentified, taking care of the younger ones (otherwise these many kids without help wouldn’t work) yet the parents still wanna keep going and pop more babies out, with their birth control in the form of god. I know I don’t know them, and it is their choice to do whatever the hell they want. But, as someone who also had to play parent to a younger sibling, I feel for those kids.
I’m a bit confused by your take on the whole she quit ballet at Juilliard! The guy creepily harassed her into dating and marrying him! She rejected him, he pulled strings to sit on the same flight as her (next to her of course!) She made it clear she wanted to finish her degree and have a career . He basically (based on what it sounds like) convinced her into dating and marrying him within a year. Not in a cutesy way. He even mentioned that he was happy when she lost a beauty pageant because she would be closer to him and not doing pageant stuff. (Can’t remember exact words but it was along those lines). That’s why it really looks like he coerced her into giving up ballet which is really what she loves. Because he wants her to belong to him only and not share him with others. I’m all for Canadian politeness but for the love of Christ , don’t defend this weird behavior. It’s on the path to abuse
I live in Utah, am friends with Mormon moms and they are like professional mothers and as a atheist stay at home mom I feel like the world's worst mom. I also married into a Mormon family and boy oh boy my mother in law is " the perfect mom" . They do the moooooosssstttttt.
Reminds me of jordan page from fun,free cheap. Mormon family bunch of kids picture perfect but slowly you start seeing her falling apart. I think they recently got divorced.
In the journalist defense: If it is true that Hannah is apparently incapable of answering questions without her husband present and interrupting, that’s not the journalist being bad at a job, that’s red flags for abuse. In addition, if your wife is so exhausted from taking care of your kids and needs to rest for a week, that’s also a red flag. Please don’t glorify this or downplay it! And Tradwife life can be very dangerous because the woman has no autonomy or even her money. I’m ve
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is not a cult. I would suggest getting your information from both sides not just "ex-mormons" who are very openly anti church. Imagine if Judaism or Catholicism was spoken of this way.
@@batelshimoni1078 my point is I don't think SHE would speak about any other religion this way because there would be more of an uproar in the comments. Religious persecution is never right❤️
Ex mormons just like ex muslims are the ones to talk about religion in the most honest way tho the good, the bad and ugly. By the way all religions can be considered cults, especially being taught not to critically think about ideas that are not their own. LDS has over 100 BILLION dollars worth but still wants more money to given to them which in itself is foolish.
6:22 This! I do not think the power balance in this relationship is healthy at all, but I think most moms sacrifices or compromises dreams and life goals in order to be a parent. I do sometimes mourn what could have been, but personally I love being a parent more.
I like the fact that the new trend is to show the ideal motherly life instead of the ideal bossbabe life or the ideal clubber life. I feel validated in my choices and valued when I see the traditional motherly life pictured online in a perfect way, and desired by so many people. It's a good thing such a life is finally looked up to instead of looked down at like before.
That’s fine, but this life is highly idealized and is giving young women the wrong impression. None of these trad-wives act trad off camera, but if you’re ok believing a lie.
@@Laure__Line you should feel valued in your choices because they... have value? Why does what's trending on the internet matter? But also, the trad wife lifestyle is a sham. She runs a business. Anyone with a social media/influencer presence does. So she (and others like her) are as "boss babe" as you can get. Especially because they invalidate working mothers and then are actually working. I'm not sure why any mere mortal's life needs to be looked up to. No one is wired the same way so the same way trad wife content doesn't make me want to be a trad wife, I don't look up to it or idealize it. I'm happy with the choices I've made. Just like the kind of content I consume probably would have zero bearing on you. If you are that senstive or influenced by things then you need a stronger identity.
Interesting video, but I feel like a lot of this is so infantalizing to Hannah. She responded to the article herself and if we cant take her at her word then what matters? Let her be. There are some religious zealots in the world, but most of us want to be this way. Believe it or not. 😊
Maybe they don't want some stranger taking care of their children. I personally don't, and so I'm also very exhausted. But it's my personal choice and so is probably theirs. Not judging anyone who gets childcare or other help, just everyone should decide what they are comfortable with or not. I think those who are watching those channels already want that life, like me 😄But all that bible talk didn't make me a believer. What I don't understand is all the attacks on SAHMs recently on social media. And it is often from young women without kids, who don't even understand the feelings of a mother and how they can influence her choices. I don't mean you, obviously.
Thank you for keeping us informed. Can you help and review The Impact documentary? I watched recently and was shocked about school shootings and puzzle coding method using by anti-cultists on those poor teens. Its a bit scary to realize that my child is not secured and can become such shooter. What we gonna do with it?
I’m guessing Ashely isn’t a mom & isn’t in a happy relationship, which is why she thinks it’s her job to police strangers relationships online, & tell everyone why every women who dares not to follow the feminist handbook is doing it wrong. If hannah chose to push her kids off on the help, to go shopping & show off her newest handbags on social media all the time, guarantee you wouldn’t hear a peep from Ashley. All the narcissistic, self absorbed content put out on the internet, & her biggest issue is women who focus on their families 😬
Hannah's husband told the journalist during the interview that his wife gets so exhausted she ends up in bed for almost a week. Even if he was exaggerating on his part it is obvious she could use help. I believe she is a mom , what that has to do with her making this video, she was reviewing the article/interview Ballerina Farm willingly gave to the Times. Did you read it?
What if they don’t have a nanny because they are so rich and don’t have someone they trust with their children? It could simply be that. If I was rich I still wouldn’t get a nanny but I do trust my mother only for child care.
That’s what happens within certain communities like the Mormon cult. Women are seen like reproductive cattle and of lower value. I feel deep down that Hannah is really exhausted but she’s not going to show what’s really going on behind doors. You can see some sadness and exhaustion in her eyes, and the eyes are the windows to the soul. She’s bottling up her real feelings because she’s already invested in her brand name and has 8 kids. I hope she’s stacking up some savings on a separate account in case of an emergency, but I doubt it, she’s already programmed to be a machine to her kids and husband. Her identity was drowned by her husband and she looks like a scared puppy seeking his validation.
You're putting your children in a bubble, those kids will become severely introvert and this life will be so difficult for them in the real world when they become adults seeking jobs and potential partner. Look at the show, Welcome to Plathville, the son Ethan is severely out of sorts with his wife and his strict bubble upbringing creates an odd gap in his marriage and it became toxic and he and his wife are now divorced.
While leaving your children with someone is surely stressful, I find it implausible that someone with these resources would be unable to find a nanny they're able to trust. And unlike in a typical situation when a nanny is needed, it's not like the children would be left at the mercy of the nanny while the parents are away at work and unaware of possible harm. Hannah would still be at home and could easily supervise the nanny - it's just that the nanny would take some of the burden off her shoulders.
@@AW-uv3cb agree. Could be a possibility because nothing is 100% but def agree. I work remote so even then I am here while my mother cares for my daughter.
I am a Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) woman. Two children (and that'll be all) and I work in Corporate Wellness. It's kinda annoying when we are all lumped into these extremes. I am as devout as they come and the things you've discussed have nothing to do with the religious beliefs, just a culture that has developed in some areas with some members.
