Fentanyl Addict interview-Tony 

Congradulations my Friend!!

Congratulations 🎉

Congratulations!

That's absolutely amazing! Very few people have done what you did. Isn't it 98 out of 100 who relapse? The odds are so against people who are addicted to drugs, just those odds alone have to be such a demotivating factor. Knowing that it's almost impossible before you try and get clean is probably the reason why many don't even try. It's a mental challenge like no other. I'm not trying to invade your privacy but I'm just curious to know what you feel like after 8 years. Are you still struggling on a daily basis? Or has it now become the new you to be clean? I know many are doing good on a daily basis because they have school, work, maybe a partner, children or other things that take the focus away from the craving and the thoughts. It's when these regular days are disturbed that people can get in trouble. I know very many addicts struggle so much during holidays, especially at Christmas, Easter and also during the summer time. And when people experience traumatic events like illness, loss, or other personal demanding events. Is it like that for you, too? If you don't want to answer, I totally respect that. I just want to learn about addiction and mental health issues as, much as I can. Have a great day! Keep doing what you do because it's obviously works! Stay strong and courageous! Love from Norway.

Congratulations! That's an awesome achievement!

Im 38 and still live a life of regret.

@@wrath231 The Rear-View mirror is small and shows what is behind us. It is a reflection of the past and cannot be changed. It is somewhat important because to know where we are going, we must know where we are coming from. The windscreen is large and in front of us. It projects our future and can be changed. It is most important because we can choose where we want to go and the windscreen projects our destiny.

His kidneys are probably shutting down. He doesn't have as much time as he thinks

​@@bedford4383 I love that, thank you!

@@bedford4383❤❤ That’s a great analogy . I love this 😊

Me too

Mine, too ❤ 😔

I never heard of fentanyl syndrome

Yep, he sure did, I remember that shit

​@@carlitasway2477 It's not official, it's just a term.

@@carlitasway2477 bc it dosnt exist 'iHard drugs in general will make your bend downward somewhat its just wat drugs do to the human body.

Omg shit. That's awful. Kidney pain is horrible when you're sober. Hope you find recovery Tony. Don't give up hope. You seem like a great guy

Thank you for your empathy. A lot of us even having decades of recovery are still stigmatized and discriminated against. I had friends totally turn on me. They blamed me for everything. Yes, it was my decision to turn to drugs for the excruciating pain of childhood sexual abuse, neglect and attachment and trust issues. Having been in the program it teaches responsibility and taking a personal inventory. This person drank like a fish called me drunk at times. He was mourning he loss of his mother. I didn’t judge his drinking and cut off from our friendship. To hurt me worse he said we weren’t close friends but only acquaintances. We were friends since 2013. I sent him Xmas Cards and checked on him while he was caring for his elderly mom. Nothing I did was valued. He threw me in the garbage trash. Thanks you compassionate being.

Me too. I feel we all need to try and intervene. This is beyond heartbreaking!

He seems a bit schizophrenic, I wonder if that’s the man on his back he keeps thinking there is

@@karendalsadik7119he will never find another friend like you.

​@@stephanielake8169 Right?! But, is it real schizophrenia, or a side effect of the fentanyl/+ other drugs? Or both? Just so damn sad ☹

It’s always been this way

It's scary but we got to just warn the kids and hope they listen.

Then don't put them in public school where they will be indoctrinated

Tbh I'm not sure if this is the right advice. I'm not going to tell you how to raise you child, so if you plan to raise them with a zero tolerance approach towards drugs, where they should never touch any drug under any circumstance, thats your prerogative. But coming from someone who fought long and hard to escape the throes of addiction (opiates specifically), I think educating your child on drugs, familiarizing them with harm reduction principles, and making them feel comfortable and unafraid of discussing substances with you, will increase the likelihood of them avoiding dangerous drugs altogether. Rather than being told to stay away from any and all drugs, I wish I would have been educated on the nuances and properties of each drug and taught what makes some drugs like psychedelics for example (relatively safe if used responsibly in a safe environment) different than opiates or meth for example. In my personal opinion, I think you'll be better off if your child feels comfortable discussing their and their friends attitudes towards drugs with you and seeking your guidance if they decide to use them (or if their friends do). That way they don't equate smoking pot with doing cocaine or heroin and develop a false sense of equality between them ("well we already smoked weed, why not try cocaine, it's just as bad"). Personally, I try to foster an environment where my child will feel comfortable telling me if they are curious about trying a drug so I can either provide a safe setting and correct knowledge about it if It's something that's relatively safe OR dissuade them from using something that's not safe at all (i.e. fentanyl, meth, etc). Plenty of people are able to recreationally use substances like lsd, mdma, cannabis, and even cocaine once in a while, satisfy their curiosity about it, then leave it alone after a while, never suffering any consequences as a result. I think the key thing that allows that is being educated about safety and feeling comfortable expressing their curiosities with someone who may be more experienced. That's just my observation as someone who has been around the block a few times

Yeah same....this Videos put the own "Problems" in another Perspektive. 😕

Just say no to drugs

Yeah homie the earth doesn’t revolve around you and your pitiful life. Grow a pair and move on!

Ain't that the truth

@@murderycatdoll1380 Your biggest issue is your spelling of perspective...

they are all probably convinced they don’t have one so instead they numb themselves to distract themselves from their life situation. it’s like watching a movie already knowing the ending. i feel for them and wish i could just tell them to conquer their thoughts :(

That's not true

There's a good possibility that tx for his underlying conditions would help him out. He likely has a schizo type condition and/or brain injury. It isn't just intoxication.

​@@Daniea3 Thank you for bringing some sense to these comments. His opiate use has very little to do with his dissociative episodes, nor his likely severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder symptoms that are causing him to hunch over. There's a possibility he actually also has back pain, but all of this could be solved with GOOD healthcare. A good neurologist could help identify his back issues, a GOOD psychologist would work with a GOOD psychiatrist and develop a wholistic treatment program to give him a new lease on life. But this will never happen in the USA, because the word "good" does not exist in a vast majority of the Healthcare system Americans pay so much for. This man seems humble, kind, and warm.. yet he'll likely die soon because nobody gives a single f anymore. The USA is so horrible with it's "Pray For Pain™" and "F*ck You, Pay Me Healthcare System™" that I am unsure why the citizens haven't revolted, other than they are maybe just too distracted, weak and sick to organize a proper revolt to have proper healthcare.

Drug induced psychosis and schizophrenia is common

When he gets it to all make sense, he has scanned you. You will start following his hypnosis walk.

I couldn't understand a word he was saying.1

That isnt entirely because of a mental disability or defeciency. This dude hasnt slept in DAYS. The way he starts to answer and then forgets what hes talking about, or trails off and says something like "so yeah..." are both SUPER common for people who (usually) iv meth and have been on a multi day bender. Even when smoking it, most people fall asleep way before theyve been up this long.

your profile name is a oxy moron, should be "falsefact" @@truefact844

@pinky..... I had that same issue, I even slowed down the playback speed. He was talking somewhat softer than my ears can hear and he was also talking to fast for me to grasp every word 🥺😕

Nope

Amen!!🙏🙏

🙏🏻

Please do! ❤

Get well soon before it’s too late

Prayers going up for you. May the most high give you the strength to get clean and make it through life 🙏🏾✨💫✨💫

@@acmhfmggru thank you , I got accepted into a nice rehab today .

If it's everywhere, then you might consider changing your surroundings. Easier said than done, I understand.

How about to taste? 👿

@@trteeerryfse-wy2wwcringe

@@trteeerryfse-wy2wwhuh?

I assume you saw my comment? Do you think this is the same man as Garrett? Age is the same and the place they grew up in is the same. I know they don't seem to look alike a lot, but Garrett was interviewed years ago, so who knows what he could look like now.

@@thematriarchy2075 I did see your dialogue with another commenter, and took a quick glance at Garrett's photo (interview from 3 years ago). I could see a similar look, but I'd want to listen to that interview to get a better feel for whether there is a possibility of Tony and Garrett being the same person. Will do that later. Just skimmed through the comments again and see you've reached out to Mark for clarification. TBD...

I didn't hear back yet, but i am curious what you think. 3 years is a long time on the streets ​@@karenfryberger4260

Probably Osteomyelitis from starting drugs at such a young age.❤🙏

@@thematriarchy2075 Okay. I just watched / listened to Garrett's interview, then came back to this one, then went back and forth in short bursts. And...I'm undecided. You're right about age and Half Moon Bay being where they both grew up.They are both redheads and their voices sound similar; both mention an alcoholic father. And yet, it's noteworthy that in Garrett's interview, he talks about surfing having been his passion; Tony mentions a lot of sports he used to be into, but no word of surfing. Garrett says he graduated high school; Tony says he dropped out. Garrett says his parents divorced when he was about 5 yrs old; Tony says they "separated" when he was 15. Garrett doesn't mention any siblings; Tony says he has 3 sisters and a brother. Garrett speaks about his surgery for scoliosis and how it led to getting addicted to opiates; Tony doesn't mention any surgery and talks about weed being the beginning of his drug usage. Where or what is the truth? There are a lot of differences in their stories, but it's hard to ignore the basics of age, hometown, and resemblance. Oy vey.

I think it might be because he is so young and it looks like he has done some irreparable physical damage to his body.

@@invaderjaymz More, it’s about his story, he couldn’t recall any major traumas in his life. One of the big questions for addiction is Why? and usually we have a answer like they were traumatized as a child. But some people had good childhoods, families and still choose a hard path, self destruction. Why? I couldn’t see the answer clearly with Tony.. he doesn’t seem to either. Tony still has ambitions and dreams removed from his current reality.. He doesn’t see himself there. Every person needs dignity to sleep at night… every person holds on tight to what keeps them safe, I must dream while i’m awake.

Could you please explain what he ment by scanning? I'm Scandinavian so I had a struggle trying to understand what he said in the first place and the word scan and his explanation gave me more questions than answers. He sort of gave three different examples and meanings which were totally different the way I interpreted it. One time he talked about it together with being psychic if I got it right so I thought maybe it ment something out of this world like some skill he believes he has. But in the end he talked about wanting his life back and then his scanning would be so much better. That made me think he just ment scanning means his overall understanding and reading of people and situations. I have no idea. My own scanning is probably totally out of touch!

Could be a ( Skitzaphrina trait) IF. thats it MAYBE??!

@@heavenlydays2838 But what does he mean by the word scanning?

@@heavenlydays2838 I personally don't see him as typical Schizophrenic. He's answering Mark's questions and are aware of his surroundings. But he definitely seems like he's done some other drug than opioids. Either meth or crack.

@@leneo1731- I'm inclined to guess that he's talking about something like trying to find awareness or relevance realization by investigating the infinite minutiae of what he is noticing in the moment - like his homelessness, thoughts, words, body, posture, etc. ad infinitum. He talks about being stressed with homelessness and "this whole other world" of staying scanned. He goes on to refer to it as higher levels of thinking and not really care. He mentioned fentanyl being like a crutch which I took to mean a break from the exhaustive practice of scanning (I could be wrong). He talked about the word-endings like "tion" as scanning or underlining words and that scanning the word for you. Lastly he talked about the body and using poses to "pick yourself up a little bit" as scanning, since he found something useful and relevant. In each instance he describes or implies it being a difficult practice. With all these disparate thoughts representing "scanning" I think he's talking about a broad type of practice that is positive but difficult or impossible to sustain. He talks about it as if it's something from which he needs breaks, since it's too exhausting (in my understanding of his ramblings). By the way, as an American-English speaker I also had a very hard time understanding Tony!

Looks like Sean Penn

If he could play a guitar, no one would question it.

Yeah he's great looking to me

Scott Weiland is who I thought of based on the thumbnail

​@@user-yn7on7ou8n no are you blind? He look like Pete Townshend

never watched his videos from Philadelphia? (I think, somewhere northeast) It's worse than skid row because the fentanyl there was cut with some sort of tranquilizer, they call it 'tranq' and it causes people to literally walk around like zombies with giant open wounds showing BONE, talking about whether letting maggots feed on them is 'healthy' or not, until eventually it gets septic and they go to the ER and get it amputated. And of course.. they go back to using so there's a bunch of amputees there doing drugs. And in all that there's a ton of people walking bent over. Those videos are wild. I was worried we would start seeing tranq in LA, thankfully haven't (knock on wood).

Yeah I live in SF and you often see people on the street bent over like that. It's terrible how fentanyl got into the drug market, it's a whole different ballgame now and very very difficult to treat

Look up Osteomyelitis from drug use.

Does anyone know what happened to Johnny?

This tormented man needs so much love ...😢

Making him bend over like that. It’s a freaking tranquilizer. They take massive course of your body though. Be crazy. I don’t doubt. He’s also got some internal issues. Most likely directly caused by his drug use. My goodness you are so gullible gullible.

Your only comment is feeling bad yourself? Really?

​@@jamesanderson3537no, bc she's writing the truth from a resident's point of view, & the interviewee is one of thousands just like this everywhere. If you've never walked around there, you can't fathom what it's like on the daily. It's downright dangerous to live there, & I say that as someone who lived in Oakland, & several other cities & states across the U.S. In fact, right now I live in salt lake's worst neighborhood. It's laughable ppl here *think this area is bad.*

@@dubaiedge OK, but this is about he's struggle not yours

​@jamesanderson3537 people make comments relating to the subjects struggles all the time. Just because she isn't a junky doesn't mean her experience isn't relevant.

As a fellow resident, I can vouch that SF has gotten way worse in last 30 years.. crime, drugs, education, and general quality and culture is just horrendous to see fall. Most folks who never have seen what it was like when times were 100 times better, won’t understand why folks who have been here would harbor such saddening opinions. But when you see the fall of a world class city go to a world class dump… it’s really sad 😢

Amen🙏

Amen 🙏

Amen!!🙏🙏

@@eligiolthat creature called god doesn't exist of course 😂

You know most of this stuff comes in on boats, right? There's not enough white people in the world to carry this amount over the borders. Yes, white people are the main transporters of drugs over the Mexican border. Mexicans get checked too hard by Border Control.

Lived there 19 years. It got remarkably worse & I'm so grateful I escaped in '07. I can't imagine the shitshow downtown & the Mission have become by now. There's however many residents barely doing food & rent but nothing whatsoever left over. I was stuck for years & only able to move out of state bc I got a buy out when the landlord paid us to go so he could take over the house. I voted Democrat the whole time, too, so it's ppl like me partly to blame 😬

@@dubaiedge I've lived fairly close by for 37 years. I have so many beautiful memories traveling there on the weekends with my family, or visiting friends. It's nowhere near the same. And it doesn't have to be this way. Thanks for replying. :-) Have a great evening.

How original

You make your bed and lay in it... A saying from my mother

Yet idiots still don't get it.

@@marlenemcmillan8891 She was a George Herbert fan then.

Insightful

🙏🙏🙏🙏

Amen to that! ❤

I'm surprised they could use a kidney from a perosn who overdosed

@@jenniferweed2552 often it's a young person who wasn't using long term and easily OD's so their organs are still in good health at the time of donation. A good friend of mine was a recipient of an overdose donor kidney and his donor was pretty young.

I have seem thousands of people with kidney problems and failure, and it doesn't do that to your posture. I don't think it has anything to do with the kidneys, although lots of drugs can lead to kidney failure. This is from nodding out so much and getting stuck in that stooped position that it likely messes up the back and spine severely. Chronically bad posture can cause spinal issues, imagine chronically horrific posture of staying bent over for more than half your life, sleeping on hard concrete and benches, etc

Amen!!🙏🙏

Was the pun intended?

Only in America though. Why is that? Someone needs to fix it. It would never be an issue in the UK.

Me too. I hope so too.🦡

Yeah, real smart guy here.

Good morning from another Canadian. 🇨🇦

@@baublesanddolls🇨🇦🇨🇦

SAME here. I finally had to end watching. I couldn't hang. Couldn't understand him.

I don't think Mark is attracted to Tony.

@@Teabonesteak Exactly! And all the Rebecca stuff is a fetish and I can't see how people don't realize it. Mark is the dominant person in all his relationship and that's why he wants someone to treat him like garbage like Rebecca does, and Rebecca def knows what he is doing.

Geez, he can’t help it. My heart breaks for this man.

@@BelindaM44 and you know this, how? I’m pretty sure he could have helped it. Just like his walking now. He has meth to thank for that. He did it to himself. Nobody else. I can’t feel bad for him.

​@brianshaner8865 Oh God, you're one of THOSE people. Such a small-minded, unintelligent person. I can't imagine being that way. Ignorance is bliss tho I suppose 😂

Bro I'm willing to bet that's fentanyl

He is in the Tenderloin SF

It's from injecting drugs with dirty needles / not disinfecting the injection sites. They end up injecting dirt and other impurities into the skin/tissue which gets inflamed, swollen, and irritated. That's why you usually see the hands/feet all red and swollen, because those are very common sites of injection.

@@acmhfmggru Do you have a link to some literature on that? I can't seem to find much about opioids causing spinal deformity and can't think of a mechanism that would cause it, other than trauma while intoxicated. I'm well aware of fentanyl muscular rigidity, a temporary condition I encountered often whilst doing high dose fentanyl, or sufentanil, as an anesthetic technique. That's not a chronic issue though.

Schizophrenia?

Is he OK now?

@@acmhfmggru they said he BELIEVED that he could fortune tell, not that he could

What’s it like at night vs day?

I was thinking the same thing, but then realized that I wasn’t having trouble understanding his words, he was having trouble using the words.

Oshkosh Wisconsin here👋

Same brother, gotta get to my 8am 😭​@@TRANQUILSOUNDSANDMUSIC

Sheboygan 👋

Tony needs serious help, his life is confused and must be hell. Stevens Point, Wi

Suboxone saved my life as well, I’ll be one year clean off of fentanyl in 4 days and I finally have a sense of clarity

Suboxone ruined my life because in my country heroin and fentanyl is really rare. Suboxone is used as a street drug. I'm in treatment but the shit no longer works at all, I don't even feel normal. More like slightly dope sick 24/ 7.

😂

If you watch these and find humor in them, you’re lucky and been blessed with a good life

@@S1mL1feI feel pretty lucky but I don’t find this stuff very funny. Sure, there are some funny moments but big picture is kind of bleak.

@@prague7706 that’s my point. It’s not funny to me at all. I’ve lost many people to addiction. People that laugh about it make me sick

​@@S1mL1feAgreed

Nice

He's a lost cause.

I lived in SF for 12 years and left because of what it has turned into. When you move to TX or a different state, please don't vote for the policies that helped turn SF & Oakland into the way they are now.

@@jennierose6772. I suppose Trump will solve the problem and wave his magical wand to make it all disappear and will live in the wizard of oz🙄sure Jan

exactly. They can go to Abbottland and see his performative theater up close and personal.@@unknown-sx8sn

🙏🏾✨🙏🏾✨🙏🏾 For you and your son May the most high give you and your son strength to make it through these hard times 🙏🏾✨💫

mmm that fishtaily braid/twist of yours... om nom nom

Very insightful and well stated. Dual diagnosis candidate.

U dum

he's been on fentanyl so long I guess anything visible is drug induced. Kind of impossible to tell if he was doing coke in middle school, that'll put a kink in normal development.

Love Zurich❤

I'm a hour behind you my friend. (4°C and snowing in Calgary Alberta) Good Morning!

Good morning gorgeous!!! Long time no see!!! I hope all is good with you Roc! Have a great day my friend!!!!!!!

Good morning Rochelle ❤ 39° here in west Atl 🍑

I’m in the Central Valley ca and it’s about 41 degrees. You’re a little warmer than us here. Goood morning ☀️

Grand Rising! Thanks 4 saying hi 😊 36* portland, oregon

That's untrue. You're talking to someone who beat the odds right now. I understand why you say that though. I know it hurts to lose people you love. But don't take hope away from others by putting that message out there. I'm not asking you to invest personally in any addict, just don't take away their hope.

You mean just CALLING it "free", while making people wait far too long, for objectively worse care? I don't think that'll help anyone...

​@@whateverwhatever4026Worse care? The US isn't even in the top 5 for best health care. Btw, what use is it to be able to get an operation right away if you can't afford it?

@@thematriarchy2075 Is that why most of the world relies on the US for medical advancements? Why so many medical professionals immigrate to the US specifically to become part of the medical field there, if not for more education in general? Nevermind that, why do people come from all over the world to get treatment itself from the US? Ma'am, your arbitrary rankings are meaningless. Because they're based on the same nonsense as your comment. You irrationally hating America... Oh and what good is calling something "free", when it's noooot, only for the person to die waiting in line for the worse care, that wouldn't have helped anyway? Your irrational hate will never change actual facts. If it wasn't for the US, you'd still be blood letting and blaming evil spirits for broken bones and disease....

@@thematriarchy2075Is that why most of the world relies on the US for medical advancements? Why so many medical professionals immigrate to the US specifically to become part of the medical field there, if not for more education in general? Nevermind that, why do people come from all over the world to get treatment itself from the US?

@@thematriarchy2075 Ma'am, your arbitrary rankings are meaningless. Because they're based on the same nonsense as your comment. You irrationally hating America...

You don't know that.

just pray for him.

why just because you presume so? You don't know what will happen in this mans future, let alone determine he is a "lost cause".

You’re right. Hope for the best i guess…

He’s gone… the drugs have eaten his brain he can’t even make sense while speaking

Johnny??

I wished I knew,Oscar. I was trying to understand also.

I asked Tony to explain that. I was even more confused after hearing his explanation.

except for the weird word underline example I was guessing he thinks it's telepathy... But I would make sense of it more generally as a thing, a pattern I've noticed with the drug induced psychosis denial - he's made up an additional layer to reality (this seems likely to be the real origin of all the crazy bible stories about angels and demons). Usually it's something that they think everyone is doing secretly or are all unaware of (like angels/demons), 'scanning' is something everyone in this case is doing. So for example he gets kicked out of a store and blames it on his inability to 'scan' rather than whatever reality his mind doesn't want to admit to, like he's incoherent, smells bad, or doesn't have clothes on, etc. Or he gets arrested for stealing a car but actually the problem was he couldn't 'scan' the cops. Basically it vaguely fills in the gap for why he is where he is that makes it not because he keeps doing drugs... in fact the drugs 'help' him with the real problem, that he can't 'scan'.

Well, if he’s taking that word from the David Cronenberg movie “Scanners,” it means telepathy / being able to project your mental will onto others. Kind of like a “Jedi mind trick”

@@gregbors8364 that is very likely the source

Agree. Bring back Johnny!

What did it make you feel like?

@@sublime7480 free from this world mentally and physically, basically pure heaven....