People may see my decision-making as abrupt, but actually I have been thinking about it for months or even years. And, when I decide to do something, I will go after that goal no matter what. No swaying or juggling. That process has been completed internally.
That "Intuition" you sense, this is the INFJ's 'guardian angel'. What is it? It is interpersonal intelligence (the hardest of the 9 to obtain) which subconsciously allows you to feel the 'vibe' of a room. This is your brain working out all the tiny idiosyncrasies and making you feel that it's a 'good' or 'bad' thing. Most people do not utilise emotions in their daily conversation. We do. People will be scared of you. Don't let them.
@@kimmullins337 Also, one of our greatest gifts is our natural ability to destroy narcissists, to their core. Being immune to gaslighting, emotional manipulations and identifying people being ingenuine; a narcissist will easily come into our path due to our forgiving nature. Once it becomes too much, we can destroy their integrity and door slam them away (the worst punishment for a narcissist). INFJ's share their personality with most religious deities while ENTP's (creator of Machiavellianism) shares their personality with the Devil himself.
Because I'm an intuitive, and not an intellectual, I'm often not taken seriously. I'm laughed at for being vegan, not owning a tv, & not being on social media (or on pharma). I find this especially ironic in these crucial times we're in. I'm so thankful for this community! 💟
I own a TV, but only because my dad watches it when he comes into town. I have a flip phone, which doesn't have the internet on it. I think it's great that you're a vegan!! One of my goals is to grow my own food. My diet consists mostly of potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, lettuce, honey, peanut butter, oatmeal, berries, and bananas. Do you grow any of your own food?
Wow! This is right on! At age 26 I quit my job and moved to another country, after ending a long term relationship. It had been on my mind for 3 solid years. I can tell you, 40 years later, it was the best thing I ever did. But that must’ve just looked crazy to my family and friends.
I moved to another state (where I didn't know a single person) after divorcing my husband. Two years later I decided that I would go to law school and that I would get a scholarship. My great aunt asked me "How do you know you'll even get into law school?" I didn't respond. I did get in and I got a scholarship. Everyone thought I was nuts, but I had been thinking about it for about three years. I'm so happy to know that there are people like me out there. I'm grateful for this community.
I did the same thing. I moved to a different country and it’s a long planning process. Ppl think it’s abrupt and I won’t make it. But I can see my truth so clearly. It’s obviously difficult, but I’m happier than I was. You will too.
I'm 28 and after so many situations of feeling judged because of too much emotional investment in things that people find unrealistic, weird or even intimidating, I have learned how to back off from this at least in front of others, but the price of that is hollowing myself out for which I am still looking for a solution. That's the biggest dilemma of ours - how to not let our Fe make us feel judged because our actions and way of thinking are found inadequate and how not to alienate ourselfs during this process. Maybe we just have to live with the idea that it always will be some sort of turbulence around us, but that isn't necessary bad, it's our Fe that makes us think it is.
Explained so well. I am too often letting my fe rule lately while others are involved in decisions around my health status atm. So your post means a lot to me. Thank you.
"almost impossible for non-intuitive people to understand", thank you SOO much. I grew up with three older siblings who are all disordered sensors..... urrrrrhhhhh !!! That is an understatement.. But both my parents were intuitives.
Hi Lauren, I've never heard anyone articulate the INFJ decision making process so accurately. I'm here nodding away to everything you say. Brilliant video.
Thanks so much for this! I think of trying to explain intuition to totally non-intuitive people, as being like trying to explain rainbows to blind people. They just don’t have the kind of sensing to be able to pick up on the information. However, I assume this is a spectrum, like most things. Maybe people who are a little bit intuitive can kind of understand?
For a very long time I didn't realize that other people lack intuition. Now that I know that I'm an INFJ and very rare, I am able to understand myself and other people so much better than before.
I learned to keep others out of my decision making process, even my family. It's worked out much better for me. I'm still bombarded with self-doubt after sharing a decision I come to, but learning to stick with it anyway.
Whoa.. This was such a helpful video Lauren! Thanks so much I was guilted into my marriage..xD It happened to me. I went in with open eyes but still did it. I still question my infjness all the time because i feel like I'm not "good enough" to be one, haha. How ludicrous is that? So thank you again. I'm happily binging all your videos ❤❤❤
I think I’ve scared, surprised or pushed away my family because of this. They just see the outside of me making bold choices and I think they think I’m flighty or impulsive, but the opposite is true. I’ve been marinating and processing for sometimes years and when my mind finally decides this is the right thing do to, I act quickly and boldly. I think they worry, but I’ve made it to 46 and I somehow have a great life. Seems confusing to the outside, but it’s exactly like I planned it out!
Lately I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my family (mom and younger brother) because I told them recently about my ability to sense when someone is going to die. This past Wednesday and yesterday, Friday I was feeling a lot of pain in the form of crying and avoiding the negative thinking because of someone who passed away today Saturday. Turns out those feelings weren’t mine and even though I wasn’t there physically I still could feel when that person died or passed away all of a sudden in the most painful manner like my heart was being taken out not in the literal way but in a metaphorical sense. I tried to explain this to both today, but they made fun of me and eventually they criticized me because “that sounded very autistic”. So now I’m the autistic person to them, even though I am not. I just don’t feel like telling them anymore of me or myself because of this.
You describe my experience so well. My family and friends have often been left reeling from my choices and remark afterwards that I was lucky that it worked out
It's interesting that you refer to percentages in gauging the viability of a change or risk. For me, it's stepping stones across a stream. As a writer, when a story idea comes to me, I mentally follow that path, hopping from one stepping stone to the next, following the potential storyline. The further the path takes me across the stream, the more promising the risk/story idea. If I make it all the way across without coming to a halt (aka running out of stepping stones), then the story concept is complete. The risk is worth the venture.
LOVED this video! ♥. It was like the light bulb day 💡I first found out I was an INFJ. I suddenly saw my characteristics in print and I wasn't unheard of and strange any more! This description of the hard-to-explain energy match system which looks sudden but isn't made me jump for joy to be recognised, because that's it EXACTLY - and to top it off it's my birthday today and I'm going down town with my birthday money to buy The Gifted Adult by Mary -Elaine Jacobsen, also recommended by Lauren for INFJs. Thank you so much.
I am an INFP and it feels so good to have found your channel. I’ve felt misunderstood for the longest time and thought I’m just a failure. This really resonates with me and I appreciate your videos.. thank you thank you
This explains why I can’t really talk to my mom about things (on top of her always judging me). She’s a teacher so logical lists make sense to her. I’ve also recently quit 2-3 jobs and she said to me once, “You’re always quitting jobs.” The most recent job she said, “How long will this one last?” I have noticed that I usually can’t stay at a job longer than 12-13 months. However, I noticed the more control I have at my job and flexibility, I tend to keep those longer. One up to 4.5 years and another 2 years. Do other INFJs feel this way with jobs too?
OMG! Such an important video for me, it clarifies so much, thanks. I have been letting go explaining myself gradually actually but it has been difficult to reach almost total peace and confidence with it and with my internal process cos it also means I am much more lonely too
What timely and well explained insights and wisdom. This was so helpful and resonated deeply. Thank you for what you do and share, and for changing lives and creating more joy and harmony in the world with your tools and insight for building self awareness and resilience 💜
