For Want of A Mother - A Short Adoption Documentary 

What is adoption syndrome?

Thank you Ralph.

@@RangerLadyGillman You're welcome Cindy

Karen Miller , I’ve known Cindy since we were kids. She is as genuine a person as can be. Cindy has always been sincere and I’ve always admired her. The more I learn of her past, the more endeared I am to her. Cindy would succeed in any situation. I’m grateful to call her friend.

Thank you for your very kind words and love. And He has restored me and strengthened me beyond anything I ever asked for.

Wouldn’t it be terrific if all the states opened their sealed records and all those who are looking find the joy they deserve. Blessed be your “Auntie” moments.

Oh my! Thanks you for your love and appreciation of my story. Such kind words.

You have a powerful story as well. I hope you share your learning experiences with those that need to learn from you. God bless you.

This is not the full story.... a snapshot in time piece.

Yep, life is real and sometimes it’s real hard. And He has shown me how to show up for it! Thanks for the kind words.

Thank you for sharing your love. My AHA moment was huge in my life. And His grace has opened my heart.

Thank you! Such kind words.

Horrible and heartbreaking. Not all people were meant to have children. Biological, Foster, or Adoptive.

Stella David Seahorse Oracle Cards I understand ....that's why I say adoption is NEVER the same...it's NOT fair to kids...and I saw adoption FAIL at EVERY stop and TURN...

Although it was heartbreaking and difficult at times I have been strengthened because of my journey. I hope for you some of the same blessings.

Nancy Howard I am so sorry that that happened to you, you should have NOT been beaten....by anyone for any reason...may God keep you!!!!

The orphanage I was in also horrible. I think the people that put in to watch over us are not trained or care and are just mean. Thank God the superintendent of the orphanage was kind and good. He had a daughter my age and he would take me home to play with her pretty often. I even was able to take trips with them. I don't know why he choose me out of all the other kids. I felt very fortunate. When my adoptive parents wanted a child it was I he showed me too them. I always felt it was a God thing.

bonnie berry I love this! I'm going to Whatsapp it.

i HOPE SHE (CINDY) IS A MOTHER. GOD BLESS HER.

So why is the evil fucker absent in the lives of millions of children who die each year of malnutrition or water bourne disease , don't see him guiding their footsteps except to their graves , maybe he's just into white American middle class folks !.

That was so beautiful to read this morning. Thank you! God Bless!

@@robertcarey8294 as summed up in the song 'Thank-you god' by Tim Minchin.

Or it's just not about the adult. It's about that child and validation of THEM having real feelings and intuition.

Wow! What an opinion to have on something you’ve not been through and don’t have the first idea about. Shame on you to judge this woman’s journey. This woman has the right to know where she comes from, you have no idea how hard it is to live with never knowing whose blood runs though your veins. Whether it was nature or nurture that you get your quirks and habits from. To never know whose eyes you have or whose nose you inherited. So screw you and your shitty judgement on this woman. How dare you tell her what she got was just good enough and basically saying that she’s ungrateful for her adoptive family. Shame on you.

@@NativeNYerChicHK What makes you think that she is suggesting that she should not have searched for her bio mom? I did not read that anywhere! Her focus was on her relationship with her adoptive mom, that is it. I think it was good advice also. My only thought was that she was making an assumption about her adoptive mother that may or may not have been true. I have to consider what the woman in the film was saying was fully possible that there was a desire by her adoptive mother not to fully bond with her but with my own experience with both biological children and adopted children I think it is very possible that her suggestion that her "attachment style" could also have been part of the problem. Attachment is a two way street for biological children and it is the same for adopted children. It may not be the case, but then again it might have validity. If it does, the realization might be healing for her. Many parents are not perfect, and some kids get born giving their parents difficulty from the beginning. Some kids score high on the neuroticism scale. I think that the above advice would apply especially in those cases. I have nieces born about the same time into the same family with the same problems. The ones that one would consider the highest on the neuroticism scale are those that are having the most trouble with their parents and in their personal lives. These family members are not perfect but their daughter's views on it vary in the extremes. Also, the ones with kids have become the most understanding towards the parents now. I also find it interesting that my biological daughter is more critical of these relatives than a couple of my adopted boys. They are the ones trying to make family peace. With respect to Divine Providence, which the woman speaks so eloquently about, I am so glad that that affected my adoption. I had thought about adopting one toddler. Instead in a strange twist I ended up adopting 3 older boys, ages 7, 9, and 11 from a foreign orphanage. These are the guys that have no interest in any contact with their bio moms, and only one of the three is willing to do a dna test kit. They simply want no part of the bio moms. They remember them. They were between 3 and 6 when they were removed. I can guarantee you that this is not to make me feel good because one of them still maintains contact with his grandmother. These guys know their ancestry, for the most part their ethnicity, and at times want to be told that some of the "quirks and habits" of their parents do not necessarily have to be theirs too. One of them takes pride in his ethnicity, the oldest. The younger two want to be more generic American. No typical birth parent fantasies growing up. They had the full unadulterated birth parent reality. I am not quite sure how I would have felt if I had a great relationship with a young adopted child and then when they got to the difficult teenage years they thought that our problems were more due to adoption than to coming of age. My boys are wounded because of the abuse and neglect, they never had excessively high standards for me, and I am very thankful that they never were the excessively introspective types and sensitive types, that the person making the comment might be alluding to, suggesting that being overly sensitive or neurotic might have played a role in attachment or lack of it. We get it that many adoptees feel a sense of abandonment, that adoption affects your life, that you are curious about your biological family and your ethnicity, but adoptive parents do not need to be categorically shut up and shamed either. At one time they were generally considered in a favorable light. I am glad that I have bio kids besides the adopted ones and that I adopted older ones and that my motivation was more for a love of kids and big families and a concern that there were kids rotting away in orphanages that might like to be part of the family. I have a lot less pride invested in this and so I can tell you that you are not the only ones with a voice and their are some kids that do appreciate adoption and sometimes adopted kids can benefit from seeing things through their adoptive parents perspective to improve upon their relationships and their self esteem. Also, my advice to adoptive parents. Have an open adoption. I have a strong feeling that your kids will bond with you a lot better if they know their biological family from the beginning and if they are "safe" people let them have occasional contact with your adopted kids. I have a feeling that it will result in a more realistic view of reality for both you and your children. You are going to realize that they want to bond with you, and you need not have excessive fears about their wanting to leave you and be part of their birth families instead. If they are good people you will come to see the positive in their relationship with their birth families.

@@NativeNYerChicHK And who is doing the judging here?

@@lorimav Vast experiences you’ve written about through what sounds to me like words of a therapist. There is so much more to my story that this mini documentary was not focused on. Years have passed since adoption reunion, 20 this October. My adopted parents had mental health issues, this was not spoken of in the video. I was blessed with an uncommon resilience for a child. Survival was the key element of my life. There was no options at the time for healthy attachments with them. They were honored while alive and healed from after their passings. Therapy was a beautiful gift. I’ll leave you with knowing that much healing has occurred.

I am at ease now. There are many more details that have not been shared in this video. It has been an amazing experience. This October marks 20 years.

Me too.

It’s a very emotionally complicated script no one gets to write or rehearse in their lifetime. It only gets to be lived in the moment. And it’s very fragile.

It is generated by RU-vid automatically. It is turned off now. Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you for your kind words.

Maybe they didn't deserve any appreciation

This was a snapshot in time. The interview wasn’t about gratitude. There is so much more to this story than what is filmed. Too big for an 11 minute piece. There was gratitude. They have all passed on now. Peace has been learned.

Quit the story!

My father name wasn't on my bc so I'll never know who he is. I'm truly sorry about that.

@@carolp8243 its possible with DNA test. cant guarantee but you cant say never with DNA test. This time of the year they are on sale..

Get your DNA out to every test you can, ancestry.com, 23andMe, Family tree dna, my heritage, then upload to GEDmatch. You are very likely to be able to figure out who your biological father is especially if you consult with someone who knows the finer points of this kind of research. I am sure there a groups out their that can guide you. Ancestry.com has a $49 special, 23andMe has a $79, black friday special. If you have not figured out who your father is with either of those two tests you can take your 23andMe data and upload to family tree dna, my heritage, and GED match. Now in days no name on the birth certificate does not at all mean you won't find him. I found out my aunt had a son that none of us knew about.

@@spuilloh2637 Yeah right, and even if you dont find anything its a change we didnt had before.

Keep up the search.

He truly is.

Yes, I do remember. Many issues. But this video was not the place to share them. Yes they had a place for me, it was complicated, and the lessons I have learned are invaluable. My adopted parents are long gone now and those lessons have strengthened me now to bless and protect my grandchildren.

I do love her. Visit her often. She remembers who I am now.

He has.

I think they were saying that it was her mentally ill sister that was institutionalized since her 20s.

There is so much more to the story than what the scope of this video was about. I Mark 20 years of adoption reunion this October.

My son, Brady, did a great job!

@@RangerLadyGillman : What an odd, vague comment.

@@billwilson5341 i don’t think it’s odd at all. I know how much work he put into drilling through my old films and the editing and the interviews. He did a great job!

@@RangerLadyGillman : I'm happy you responded. I noticed your name this time. I can state that I'm a complete doofus. I did not realize who you are. My apologies. Yes Brady did a great job! I thank you for your patience.

Sharda Norman I love your response! Yes, He so can.

@ Sharda Norman Yeah right, he is doing a louzy job.

@Ange H Sorry you feel this way about my emotional journey at the time. This is only a snapshot of time and not the full story of my adoption reunion. Both adoptive parents and birthmother has passed away long ago. Lots of emotional healing has occurred since then 20 years ago.

He is watching over you, always.

RangerLady Gillman 🤍🙌🏼

God understands my love. Once you find HIM you will have found what your looking for. 💕🕊

Thank you for your courage to tell your story honestly and share it with all of us. That is a gift that helps others. I adopted my two little girls. They were 5 and 3 when adopted three years ago. I love them with all my heart. As an adoptive parent I can say that discerning how to talk about adoption w outsiders in a way that benefits your child's emotional/psychological well-being is not easy. Sometimes we get put on the spot. Takes a lot of wisdom. And love. Sometimes the comments come when you least expect them, and take you off guard. That's been my experience. I am struck by how your adoptive Mom's comment hurt you for so long. I'm so sorry for that. Take away for me, in my current life, is the need to be honest and kind in your answers to questions, even to outsiders. Secrecy is a burden we do not need to carry. All my blessings. And if it's okay. A hug.

bless your heart . after all the pain you can still see the good plan of God.

@@rosariosalazar3938 God is good isn’t He.

Brady has a natural talent in story development and built this video out a very organic experience in our family. It’s a beautiful piece.💚

It is something I don’t talk about often. Thanks you for your kind words.

Peace has come. Thank you.

I'm very glad I kept my child and didn't give her away. No.. not every adopted child gets good adoptive parents and therefore they don't ALWAYS have an obligation to be grateful. Sometimes the adoptive family can be terrible.

I appreciate your comment and understand the perspective, just know there is so much more to the full story. This video was a snapshot in time. I am not ungrateful, learned many, many things from my adoptive parents. Which now are long passed away, my birthmother too.

Thank You. He wrote it long before I got to live it. I’ve been very blessed💚

Like fuck he does , he leaves millions to starve , die of malnutrition and water bourne disease , he even stands by and watches his own priests rape small children [ mostly boys ] and these are the celibate ones !.

You are delusional. Take your meds.

Yes things do happen for a reason. I wonder what her story was? Remember birth-mothers are stuck in their trauma at the time they birthed and relinquished you. Be kind and gentle but with boundaries.

There’s so much more to this story that wasn’t shared on the video. The comparison was relevant, both suffered mental illness. It’s just that one had lots of material possessions and the other had none. Yet the one without had joy and knew how to choose it. The other just could not get past her sorrows.

I’ve not shared the full story

It was a different time. I am old now. All adoptive parents and birthmother have passed away. I Mark 20 years of adoption reunion this October.

He does.

I do. And He does. Still. To this moment. Thank you for your very kind words.