I was in foster care as a kid as part of a sibling set. I have also fostered several sibling sets as a foster mom. Now, here we are about to adopt our second set of siblings. Let's talk about it!
I'm a former foster child and getting licensed soon and I remember how scary it was to have my siblings living somewhere else when I was already struggling without my parents and I took great comfort in one of my brothers who was placed with me. Alot of kids will look to their siblings to see if they're safe or how they should react to things and it's so important to try to keep them together ♥️
Just got the call yesterday. Fostering a sibling set! Not what we thought we'd start out with but thankful for resources like this to offer good advice and hope. Thank you!
Just to add another reason sibling sets might be split is the type of abuse they faced. Before I was born my parents became foster parents and the girl they had place were separated from her brothers because they parents made them participate in the abuse each other received, so it was deemed that for healing purposes they needed to be split up at least for a little while. This was 20+ years ago so this might not still be a thing but I feel like it probably is.
My husband and I are going to be taking sibling sets. It always broke my heart to hear that they separated siblings. There is a definite need for more foster families to help with sibling sets.
Love that I found your channel!! We jumped right into the "deep end" right away. We ONLY want to take sibling groups and have been blessed with a group of 3 the last 9 months :) keeping siblings together is amazing and in my opinion easier than taking 3 individuals because it's just one caseworker, one court case, one visit supervisor, etc. We love it! And love seeing them help each other if they have a hard day in ways that we are not equipped to do.
I needed to hear this, thanks! We were licensed on the 4th and took in a sibling set the same day. The adjustment has been super tough but so glad we are able to keep them together.
Thank you for this video it definitely encouraged me to keep going. I am a foster parent and when they called me to take twin 2month old babies (boy and girl) I thought they were crazy. I have a 10 yr old Bio son and just transferred from doing respite care(short term foster placements) so it would have been my 1st full time placement and like said my son was 10 so I haven't done the baby thing in a while. But they had faith in me and my son said go for it so I did and they are now 10months old and a joy to be around and I say it was the best decision.
I had a 4 yr old daughter and my first placement was a placement of 4 boys aged 2,4,5 and 8. 👀. I received a lot of negativity and fear for my daughter when I accepted the placement but the boys were great. I now have a medically fragile 6 month old that I picked up from the NICU and his siblings being placed with me is up in the air as they are with a family member right now.
This video is so great! Our first placement was 1.5 & 3 year old boys and it was an adjustment but you could just see how much they loved each other and it would have been heart breaking for them to have to split up.
Thank you thank you! The thing is if I do siblings, day care is hard to find in my area. I will love to have school age siblings. Sometimes i feel overwhelmed but i am really excited to do it.
Im 35 , my husband and I chose not to have kids but I've always felt a strong pull towards fostering or possibly adopting a siblings set. Sometimes I wonder if I will be good enough or is this just something I'm not cut out to handle
I think we all feel that way. We all second guess ourselves. Building community is so important to make sure you have the support from other people who are also going through it.
Hi new to your channel! My husband and I have fostered 4 separate siblings sets. We have 4 children our oldest came to use through private adoption and we adopted our daughter through foster care. She was 10 weeks when she came home to us. Our youngest 2 our biologically ours. Twin boys! I look forward to watching more of your videos. 😀
I wanted to adopt teens but gone on the wrong side of a particular social worker. Two of the teens tried to kill me and still wanted to adopt them until finally, I just gave up. I tried to get politicians on my side which made matters worse with this social worker. So now at 81 I’m in the process of adopting a teen from Bulgaria. Last adoption for me was a family of four who are all now adults. This woman was awful. Also I have adopted in total 11! All adults. All doing well. I was not scared although I went through scary situations with kids who were still hurting. The best to you.
I had a siblings set were one sibling was very abusive to there sibling. Another that was brother and sister and I suspected incest just in the way they interacted.. and another child that would masturbate, of course, due to sexual molestation. In all these cases the social workers, we’re not transparent with me with any of the past, even when I asked for information, what can I do in this case’s. as of now, I’ve been doing it for four years, but have tooken a break. I want to be able to help children, but it seems like the social workers lie about a lot of things, and are not transparent at all. I only find out later, when I have had a child and different situations arise and if I would have known before hand I felt like I would’ve dealt with all the situation differently most of the children I get will never be reunified with their parents so they’re looking for long-term care or adoption. What I have learned is that some of these children do not want to be adopted they still hold onto the hope that their bio parents will come for them one day, so I’ve never attempted to adopt because of this I respect the child’s wishes.
There are defiantly cases where siblings should NOT be kept together for safety reasons. I also completely agree that some do not want to be adopted (I was one of those...I'll have to share more of my story in a future video).
I have been a foster parent of three teenagers. First time fostering. It's a lot. They were an emergency placement, they were being kicked out of the preview foster home. My mom has been a foster mom for ten years, she has the other siblings. They are six in total. It's not easy
Treatment care. Just out of jail. My aunt was amazing. Any time these boys aged out they decided if they wanted to be considered family.We have a lot of family.
i'm planning on fostering teens when i can afford the a place with extra space. unsure if i would be able to handle siblings by myself as a single male. i have experience with teens from work and relatives but it's encouraging to hear your experience. i think ive made up my mind to do it it's just about timing and being prepared.
First time viewer here. You gave me serious anxiety with this video! You definitely have a big personality which is not slight to you. Just wasn't expecting it. Best of luck
How realistic is it to take in more kids than you can transport at one time currently? Im a single mom of 2 wanting to foster/adopt more kiddos. But i feel so limited as my vehicle will only transport 5 people max so only 2 more kiddos. What do people do? My state has no limit on age on who can be left alone, i dont think its too unrealistic to make 2 trips to certain things depending on age of kids but is that even allowed? Say im dropping kids off at school. Will take 2 trips. If kiddos are mature can say age 12+ stay home for a bit till i come back to pick them up? Or run to the store for groceries ect.
That's a tough one and would be better asked to whichever agency you choose to get licensed through because they may have very specific rules regarding that. I really hope you can find a way. We had to upgrade vehicle sizes after our first adoption and we couldn't have done it without help but that's why they usually provide subsidy to help offset the cost of having children (and for a lot of us, MORE children) in our homes.
Lauren, what did you tell people who asked about the child. Specifically, I'm asking about how to introduce the child to others. For example, "our foster daughter or son" or as something else??
That's a great question! Such a good one that I think it needs its own video but as a quick response so that I don't make you wait for that.... Depending on the age of the child, you may want to ask them how they would like to be introduced. Because of the stigma of foster care some may prefer that you not call them a foster child but most of my kids have preferred just being introduced as my foster kid. We were open to calling them our son or daughter or whatever they preferred. When they were really young and nonverbal I usually would just call them my foster child. I did this for a couple of reasons. One is that being former foster youth myself, there was a lot of shame attached to being a foster kid and something I've always wanted to show my foster and adoptive kiddos is that there's nothing to be ashamed of because you are in foster care. We try to create a culture in our household where it's not a shame thing and it's something we try to be very open about. It's something that's not too hard to explain in our house because they think "Mom was a foster kid and she's not ashamed of it so we shouldn't be either". The other thing, at least in my opinion (which I realize will differ from other people's), is that bringing up foster care in general is such a good conversation starter because people just don't understand it. Because it's so hush hush people don't ask questions and I think there are a lot of would-be foster parents out there that just don't have information because they're scared to ask and therefore don't step up. Anyway, I hope that helps. Stay tuned and I'll try to explain it better in an upcoming video 😊
@@laurenfosters8487 thank you so much and yes, a video would be great on it!!! 💕 I love your channel. You're very informative. PS: you sound JUST like a voice on an ad that plays on RU-vid. Wondering if it's you 🤔
My husband and I are looking into fostering. We have 4 children together and are thinking of fostering a sibling set of 2-3 children with the intention of adopting. I want people I can reach out to and talk to about what to expect. Any information and assistance is much appreciated.
Start checking in your local area to see if there are any support groups. I hate to say what sometimes they are hard to find but it's usually done that way just because a lot of foster parents are kind of trying to protect their identity (if that makes sense). Having a local support group is so super helpful. You may want to check with local agencies and see if they have heard of any. Sometimes larger churches will have support groups open to even non-religious families. I have found Facebook groups can be hit or miss because a lot of them are done on a national level so it's hard to meet close friends that way. Plus just like any other group you may get a really good one and may have one that is toxic. There's something really special about finding people local that are going through the same thing you're going through.
So I’m my moms bio child and we have a sibling set living with me in my room And the 10year old is so rude to her 11year old sister me(I’m 12) my mom my grandma my grandpa and my dogs she hits spits me and her sister and argues and yells at everyone and her sister said she acted like that at home and cps says she as no mental illness
I'm so sorry to hear that. Foster care is so hard. I'd make sure to have really good communication with all parties involved (your parents, case workers, ad litem and CASA if there's on assigned). Also, therapy has been SO helpful for my kids who come from trauma.
Let's say siblings are split up, if you have some and the others are in a home near by are you allowed to work with the other foster parent and get them together for say play dates or visits? To maybe ease their anxiety about it? (We are working towards becoming foster parents)
I would say absolutely but unfortunately you have to clear that with the caseworker (and possibly the judge and casa) In case the reason they're separated is due to safety concerns. Otherwise I think that's a great idea. It definitely happens with some siblings ❤️
@@laurenfosters8487 I asked because my husband and his 5 siblings were separated and the older ones ran away trying to find the younger ones. I think that could have been avoided if they just knew they were safe.
@@BetrayaloftheBody That's so incredibly heartbreaking. I really do think that caseworkers try to be really good about that kind of thing when it's possible. It's hard in areas where the system is stretched really thin and they are short on case workers and everyone else involved. I would hope and imagine that they would make every accommodation possible. As the foster parent we're able to write letters to the judge (either via the caseworker or turn it in directly to the clerk) and advocate for those types of things or even try to get casa involved if they are assigned a casa worker for issues like that
