Thank you for sharing. Your story is insane. Missouri will legally kidnap your kids, without investigation. They allow you one HOUR PER WEEK supervised, and try to force you into a treatment plan without even asking questions or trying to learn the facts. You’re a number in the system. Most of the case managers are clueless and don’t even have kids. Children’s division tears families apart and destroy lives.
Subscribed and have been binging!!! Thank you for your content, super helpful and honest and you’re so fun :) ❤ When some of your kids aren’t up for “adding more siblings to the family” how do you handle that (even if it’s fostering not specifically adopting)? Separately , We have a… hmm.. let’s say “big behaviours” special needs son so I know we are able to handle trauma behaviours, but what I feel I’ll equipped to handle is foster kids being put back into unsafe environments. It. Happens. On other fostering channels I follow there are so many stories or reunification that the kids (now adults) wish didn’t happen. I of course know reunification is the goal and can hopefully be done safely! Anyway just sayin. ❤❤
If you're thinking of fostering....don't, unless you actually understand your only job is to get that kid back home. If you are even considering fostering to adopt, you're considering legal kidnapping and happily participating in it. You should not, ever, as a foster parent, hope for or sound this giddy about parents losing THEIR children just cuz you wanna adopt a kid for cheap or something. As a foster parent, literally just shut up and feed the kid until everyone realizes DSS are liars, stop trying to steal it every chance you get.
Just got the call yesterday. Fostering a sibling set! Not what we thought we'd start out with but thankful for resources like this to offer good advice and hope. Thank you!
Way back when they labeled me unfitting to be a father to my kids, they took them into care and place them with murders and rapist. So if you look at the outcome of this 😤 theirs blood is on y'all's hands.
Can you only accept placements where the kids would be able to be adopted? Only looking into foster to adopt as that is the only way I've heard you can adopt a kid. Please correct me if I'm wrong. We are wanting to adopt a kid 2-7 years of age. Is there another way to meet a kid before flat out adopting them? Thank you for the video!
If you have the option to not be part of hearings, do not be part of it, it's safer. Send emails to the GAL's and the Case workers with updates of the child, negative and positive ones.
As she said, each area/jurisdiction is different. We can't have bunk beds in Maryland- not even for our own biological or adopted kids. They can't be in the house period reason being risk of falling. Some counties/states don't allow bassinets, pack n play or mini crib. Full size crib only. Thankfully, we can use all of these.
We want to foster teens so badly but we are knee deep in bio littles and just don't know what it would be like. Is it a terrible idea to bring teenagers into a VERY loud, chaotic, lively home full of little kids? Would they go crazy and hate it??
Can you please give me some advice on how to help my foster teen stop acting like their little siblings primary caregiver and start acting like a child?
What about parents who enjoy heavy metal music and ride harleys? Is this something that may prevent placement? I worry by having tattoos and not following the norm I could fail my homestudy. Is this an unreasonable fear to have?
Thank you for sharing your experiences, because you are a former foster youth, I respect, elevate and validate your experience above my own as a foster caregiver and adoptive parent (EDIT: adoptive through foster care after TPR/surrender) The thing with foster care and adoption is that there is a lot of grey, almost everything can be specific to that particular case. Among the few "givens" in my opinion are that the goal of foster care is reunification until it's not and that adoption is trauma, the primal wound is real. Thank you for your content.
I just happened to find your channel Lauren and I’m so glad I did! I’m 33 now, but because I was never in real foster care (I was bounced around between adoptions and guardianships within my family and friends of the fam) I always denied my own experience. I never had to be in the foster system so I always thought I am lucky and can’t identify with that etc. because at least I sort of knew these people. Always downplaying situations like moving and being adopted into new families as just “adventure” and “being a cool chameleon.“ Yet I feel lots of shame surrounding my childhood, actually even more now as an adult because I feel I should be beyond all of that. “What does it matter who my parentals and siblings are or were? I am supposed to be grown with my own family now” type of thoughts. However I cannot deny how painful and confusing it is having had so many different families and siblings, some biological, some circumstantial, yet none of them being 100%. It feels like I’m forever in limbo, belonging everywhere and nowhere. Forever an imposter lol. Even still, I also have thought a lot about fostering/adopting when I am married as I think I have the unique empathy and experience to make a great difference. I say all of this to say thank you for sharing YOUR experiences and your kids’ experiences. Just feeling seen and heard in some of the things you talk about is so comforting. You are an inspiration and I thank you for your vulnerability. I pray peace, safety, and love over you and the whole family. ❤️🙏🏼
I can relate to everything you just mentioned. The not belonging...100%. It took a lot of therapy for both the issues I was aware of and also the ones I'd suppressed and ignored or justified, to be addressed. Thank you so much for your encouragement ❤️. Thank you so much for sharing your story
By the time you are a pre-teen, people look at you as a pre-meditated personality. You are a “liar,” a “bad egg.” A “troubled youth.” When you are a little kid; they view your behaviors and personality as “cute” or “not your fault.” By the time you are a pre-teen, they attribute your behavior to a chosen life as a “bad” person. They start looking at you as a potential peer, instead of a kid who has not had their essential emotional, physical, and mental needs met. Instead of a kid who has not known safety in a home.
I hope they sued the pediatrician for malpractice. Since she used the phrase "standard of care" I suspect they either already sued them or are in the process of suing them. I guarantee that doctor's malpractice insurer would hear these consequences and immediately want to settle.
I’m a military kid and it was never easy but you’re kids appreciate that YOURE there they may not always show it and it does get hard, but you will get through it 🫶 hoping for a safe return
8:32 I love this discussion of listening ears! I'm very sensitive to this because of my experience as an autistic person who has worked with autistic kids. So many parents, especially if the child is minimally verbal, will have conversations about their kid in front of them without seeming to really consider how it might feel for the kid listening to you complain about the way they act when they're overloaded or what kind of bathroom needs they have or whatever. One of the worst examples I've seen was actually in a public awareness campaign that outraged autistic self-advocates, where a parent talked about her thoughts of murder-suicide *in front of the daughter she contemplated murdering*. Even if the child is fully nonverbal, you can never be certain how much they might understand - most children, neurotypical or disabled, understand more than they can verbally express. And I can definitely see how the discussion of why a child is being placed with you could include information that would be harmful to the child to overhear, especially if it's stuff that they could interpret as a personal rejection (eg a prior carer who couldn't cope with behavior needs, a relative they like who refused to foster them, etc).
My dad knew a couple who got into foster care who got their very first placement (a sibling group) as an emergency with zero supplies before they even did their home study. Which seems messed up and unsafe to me. IDK how common that is or if things have changed, since that was decades ago. My parents also fostered, but only kinship care, so it was a very different situation. (Planned visit with aunt & uncle turned into calling the cops on family because my cousin alleged SA, and the cops advised them to just keep the kids until a more permanent setup could be figured out - which turned out to be *still* keeping the kids.) My parents also had a negative experience as foster carers because their concerns weren't listened to and the therapy they got was not very helpful, and my cousins SAed me and none of their therapists picked up on the warnings signs (they kept needing to be reminded about who was who in the family, so IDK if they even remembered I existed). Part of me feels like I must be crazy for even considering becoming a foster parent after all the negative stories I've heard.
Always expect the foster family to sabotage you and your chances always expect the DHS and CPS worker to lie and to withhold info always expect the DHS worker to lie. Never trust Any of them
I wanted to adopt teens but gone on the wrong side of a particular social worker. Two of the teens tried to kill me and still wanted to adopt them until finally, I just gave up. I tried to get politicians on my side which made matters worse with this social worker. So now at 81 I’m in the process of adopting a teen from Bulgaria. Last adoption for me was a family of four who are all now adults. This woman was awful. Also I have adopted in total 11! All adults. All doing well. I was not scared although I went through scary situations with kids who were still hurting. The best to you.
Lies you guys are loving that money you get from those poor kids....kids aren't money symbols your what's wrong with the system my kids got legaly kidnapped you both are blind I adopted my own son after the courts lied and over exaggerated on my tpr you don't know what those parents went threw......😢😢this world is sad
What a shitty comment. Sorry you have that view. while there are some terrible foster parents, MOST are absolute angles. We take in OTHER PEOPLES KIDS and see them through the worst that humans have to deal with, while knowing they might go back into a shitty situation and break our hearts. Go comment on another channel and leave these heros alone
I have been a foster parent of three teenagers. First time fostering. It's a lot. They were an emergency placement, they were being kicked out of the preview foster home. My mom has been a foster mom for ten years, she has the other siblings. They are six in total. It's not easy
I'm not totally sure, but I'm assuming because there is some reason that the parents cannot appeal. It doesn't have to happen but I have heard of it happening.
I usually do not comment on videos but I just wanted to let you know my family is praying for you! We are a military family (military wife here) with many deployments under our belts and more on the way so we know the struggles. I know your videos just explaining that yes things can be hard but you can get through is great and I know it will help a ton of people!
Awesome. I especially love that you have specific examples of uncovering what's actually going on with a child by trying to understand a behavior through this lens. I also love that you talked about this in terms of adults as well. I'm definitely going to use this on myself! On a separate note, I feel like anyone who makes their child answer with "yes sir" needs some help. I get it's a cultural thing that I don't understand, but come on... is that really necessary with your child? Can't you drop your ego and connect with another human being AS A HUMAN BEING for 3 seconds? I wish we could acknowledge that the cultural games we engage with are ultimately bullshit and drop that drama from the parts of our lives that they're not necessary for.
Are you suggesting that we (or anyone) shouldn't foster? That when biological parents lose their rights, foster parents shouldn't adopt and we should just let them remain in foster care indefinitely? What is your solution to the problem? You have no idea what the case details are to this particular case, so I'm not even sure where you're coming from.
@@laurenfosters8487 Im not suggesting anything. Im plainly stating foster parents are part of the system and thus part of the problem. You get paid by the government for kids who most likely would be with their birth family if only they recieved half the payments and perks you cash in on.
@@laurenfosters8487 First we need to hold foster parents to a higher standard. We need to not give immunity to anyone who profits from kids being in the system. When one believes they are never wrong and that the other side is always wrong its a problem. I absolutely think too many kids are taken from family and put into foster care.
I am crying because my kids have been in care for five months,I have monitored visits my attorney says im doing good,I left an abusive relationship and in mental health.
I am so incredibly sorry to hear that you're going through all of this. Please know that I'm rooting for you over here. I hope everyone around you is supporting you guys and reunification. I can't even imagine what you and your kiddos are going through (even having lived it myself). Please stay strong and don't give up ❤️
