Friendship Advice Wanted: Friends Who Disappear When Needed

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In this video series, Shasta Nelson is answering questions submitted by women seeking friendship advice. In this video, Shasta answers the question: “Any ideas for how to handle my friends who seem to disappear when I need them the most?” And her answer would help anyone who feels like a friend is disappointing them, neglecting them, or not showing up in meaningful ways.
Shasta Nelson, M.Div., speaks across the country for organizations and companies that want their people to develop better relationships and is a frequent contributor to the media appearing on TV shows such as Katie Couric and The Today Show, and in countless magazines and newspapers including The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Health, and Forbes. She is also the author of two books: Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and Friendships Don’t Just Happen! The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends and is the Founder of GirlFriendCircles.com, her tribe of women committed to creating more friendship in this world.
For more resources:
1) Shasta’s book Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness: www.amazon.com...
2) Join GirlFriendCircles.com (women only): www.girlfriend...
3) Ask for advice on your friendship issue: www.shastanels...

Опубликовано:

6 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 30

@shz8990 2 года назад

You don’t ask people or have a conversation with anyone about why they were not there for u.. just find new friends or learn to depend on yourself! Not sure why you are leaning towards the friend who let her down! Plus assuming they don’t know they are needed. Then they r not true friends!

@JenniferLopez18187 Год назад

Exactly

@nikkiquinn1886 Год назад

RIGHT!

@relaxingmusictounwind 11 месяцев назад

Facts!

@Windows95-likes-old-tech 4 месяца назад

I can't make new friends tho

@brittanyfowler3645 4 года назад

Love this video. Do you have a video that deals with when you HAVE reached out & told someone you need them but you were still ignored?

@ElisabethMateas-nh8js 9 месяцев назад

Sorry in my book if someone disappears then they aren’t a friend. I drop them as fast as I burn my hand on a hot surface. Common sense is if the friend is a friend they at least try. And if I’m going through a tough time the last thing I want to do is beg someone to show up. 😅I’m too old to ask people why they can’t be there. The plain truth is they are selfish shitty people and not the kind I need in my life at this point. You have some good points, but the part about chasing people nope sorry I don’t agree with it

@deehuckleberry3999 3 года назад

I got out of a 24 year abusive marriage that left me on disability, and went to live with my parent while I get back on my feet and heal, whose new spouse is now kicking me out. I have checked with all of my friends, people I would, and have, do anything for, shirt off my back, driven across state, taken in, fed and clothed, babysat, supported, you name it. Not a single one has room for me. Not even my extended family. I am going to be homeless. I am a good, gentle, intelligent, positive person. Why don't people do for me what I am willing to do for them?

@Mrs.Milkins23 Год назад

I really hope that your situation has improved since this post 🤍. I hope that you removed toxic people and built a better life. No one deserves to be deserted like that.

@deehuckleberry3999 Год назад

@@Mrs.Milkins23 I am doing great! I managed to find a place, and am marrying the love of my life in a few weeks. Toxic people are gone. Building my best life with my kids and partner and things are looking up! Best wishes to you as well!

@agrav2474 4 месяца назад

It happened to me. And I am talking about long term friends. They know what I am going through. There is no excuse, sorry. A friend will call you and check in on you, not dissapear. If I have to beg them, they are not my friends.

@yoyoyo5621 Год назад

i have disappeared when a "friend" needed me, because she was someone who just takes and takes and never gives anything back, never puts efforts into our relationship or shows interest or care about my life and I got sick of her just popping up whenever she needed something from me. When she doesnt need me i dont exist and when she needs me im her best friend and shes calling me every day and she suddenly cares so much about me. lol nah it's not gonna work like that, that's why i dipped. looking back i dont think she ever considered me like a friend, more like some kind of vending machine to get stuff out of. fake friend. I was like why are you so comfortable asking me for stuff when you have given me nothing? what do you take me for? obviously ive been way too generous to wrong person.

@kresivarivkah612 Год назад

This is not about that.

@wendyberger8892 2 года назад

Yes…i asked if one if they would be willing to to take me to a screening colonoscopy. I was devasted and distanced myself as a result. She always seems to disappear during health related issues.

@jbilotta Год назад

Funny, I just had a colonoscopy & my “friend” didn’t wish me well or anything. Even if you are working Friday and the entire weekend (it was Friday), you can’t give a text that would take 2 seconds to write?

@back2the80s 11 месяцев назад

@@jbilotta the oh “I’m busy” for you but have time for everyone else type friend. I went through cancer. You think any of my friends visited? No

@wendyberger8892 2 года назад

Confrontation is very dicey with friends.

@StarOnTheWater 2 месяца назад

There's no excuse. Reaching out yourself to someone is not the same as being actively cared for when you need someone. You can't expect anyone to read your mind, but if, for example, you tell them that you are suffering a real friend would show up , either physically or at least by checking up on you and not say "i couldn't know you needed me to do xyz". That's ridiculous. Support means taking the mental load off of someone.

@babyolajuwon3629 Месяц назад

I need some advice: I have a friend who went through many thing and I was always there for them genuinely to make sure they were good and checked up multiple days in a row for weeks to make sure they had there head on straight but the one time I needed someone to talk to they answered then hung up on me after 3 seconds 2 times told me they’d call me back( they never called me back) asked them to hang out completely ignored it and just never responded am I wrong for just dropping this friend and going back to doing my own thing I got no problem with it but damn like this was my best friend and i can’t believe this is how I’m being treated

@urennaaxo815 5 лет назад

I, on accident, told a secret to someone and now I don’t know whether the person is mad or not and I feel like things are awkward now. What makes things worse is that it happened just recently and now I am on holiday and there is now way of contacting the person but texting and calling. They dont seem to reply as quickly as they used to do. How do I gain their trust again?

@kevindeaton2376 3 года назад

i’m suicidal and she is my best friend and said she wanted a break from her phone. would she might be leaving me for good as a friend?

@starzintheskyz4477 3 года назад

In my unprofessional opinion, I dont think she would leave for good, but she's obviously someone who doesnt know how to handle someone with suicidal thoughts. I'm in the same boat. I reach out to someone who knows I get depressed and have those feelings, but she's always "too busy" when I need her, then I dont hear from her in months. Then out of the blue she say "how are you doing?". Like she decided to stop caring for a while then decide to care later. It's a type of "idk how to handle this and let her figure it out" type of mentality ppl like that have. Seriously don't take it personal because she's the one with the problem it's not you. I'm learning this Within Myself learning that everyone is just self-centered and selfish when it comes to their own lives they don't have time to care about someone else's. and unfortunately that's the vast majority of society these days. I hope you're okay and trust me when I tell you that you're not alone in feeling alone or have any friends. Take everything day-by-day and know that there are people out there that care even if they're complete strangers like me. Hugs from Ohio💚

@starzintheskyz4477 3 года назад

@Write it Black You're welcome, it's frustrating having friends like that because it shows they dont put much value/effort into the friendship. My family is like that as well. It's not you...its them. Lots of ppl are just self absorbed and look past the effort and value we put into them. It's not easy, but just try to have empathy for people who can't see past their own bullshit. lol 😆

@starzintheskyz4477 3 года назад

@Write it Black Exactly, 💚

@untitle161 Год назад

How are u doing right now? I have said to myself and others “each friends u have in your life can only be temporary. He/She can disappear on you anytime or he/she can stop liking u without a reason. It’s best to never tell a friend this “friends for life”. Same goes with having a man or a woman. He or she can disappear on u anytime. It’s best not to tell your man/woman “you are the love of my life”.”