When I was young and entered the working world after university, I remember hearing comments from co-workers about how I had a poker face and it was hard to read my expressions. Because of that, I forced myself to smile more to make other people comfortable. No one else was walking around with smiles on their faces all the time yet I was the one being called out. Looking back on it, I wish I was just more myself and didn't listen to their opinions. As I've gotten older, I've realized that no one on this planet knows what they're doing. Everyone is just winging it. I always just do what's best for myself now because I'm the only one who is an expert on me.
same 😭🫂 its like all my life i wanted to fit in but i never actually liked these people, esp the ones who also told me to laugh, smile more or why wasnt i laughing at their stupid joke
I completely relate too, I've been in this position and it's very lonely - please know you are not alone. You have this RU-vid community ❤💘💘💘💘@@morningglory.213
I think, deep down, many people have an inherent desire to be liked, perhaps stemming from an evolutionary standpoint. The fear of being alone, which would have meant certain death for our ancestors if they were cast out of their community, influences this desire. When I moved to a new city for school, I was desperate for friends and a community and consequently became more of a people pleaser. But when I moved back home, where I had the solid foundation of my family and old friends who love me for who I am, I felt secure enough to be more myself around others! I think the challenge for many is how to create a community and find good friends while staying true to yourself! Anyway, very interesting video thanks for sharing! :)
You radiate this beautiful energy inside and out. Thank you for this beautiful message and reminder. I've been working on my people pleasing, like you said not laughing at jokes I don't find funny or feeling like I have to answer personal questions just to please others. Sitting in that uncomfortableness of silence or non-reaction to other people's output is difficult at first, but then it becomes second nature. It becomes empowering to start becoming in alignment with who you are, not who other people want you to be. To still be kind as well, but not be inauthentic, always honoring who you are and who you came down to this earth to be. Peace and blessings to you
You are the sweetest! Thank you for this beautiful comment! Go you for sitting through the discomfort - I hope it is paying off! 💘❤ Sending you a big hug lovely ☺🌷💗
I dated a "take it or leave it" older man. I think he disliked how agreeable I was, but I saw it at the time as compromising because "that's what you do in relationships" (learned that for my over-compromising ex). He first whispered and then it all became so loud I ended up putting my foot down and ending it. I actually have strong character and a mean streak, but for some reason I deactivated it. He acted as a mirror - I was his mirror too in other ways - and that experience pushed me (forced me, actually) to finally stepping up for myself and and just saying "I don't want this. This isn't enough for me and I deserve better". I was angry at first, thinking "Why did I put up with all these things he did or didn't do?" but then realized how much I learned from this, even if it was short. I'm still dealing with some resentment, but I recognize he woke me up to myself and I'm grateful that he didn't shy away from challenging me, even if that lead to finishing things.
Loved the message behind this video. It’s so important for us to practise authenticity, move through the fears and guilt, especially as empaths and people pleasers. But once we step more into that, we become so powerful that authenticity is all we will ever practice 🤍🌿🌺 Ps: also loved the transitions with the nature shots. Such a nice creative touch to the video.
Thank you so much for your kind and wise words 💘💘+ for noticing the nature shots - they were so fun to include. 🥰 Your support means a lot my love. Keep being you ! 🤍🌿🌺
I love this perspective I've learned that all of us are imperfect and we wont always please every single person, self acceptance is very important and its okay for everyone to be themselves eventhough we dont always agree in our opinion doesnt mean one is right or wrong nor will we always have compatible personalities and thats okay
"...releasing control, and honoring your needs, wants and desires." So many of these messages are equally important for men. Although if men and women both arrive at the "take me or leave me" attitude, one has to wonder what it will mean for the future of dating and relationships.
This was so valuable. Thank you so much for putting this video together. I’ve been trying to overcome seeing myself through the eyes of someone who could not understand or respect me or my journey. I did not have a negative view of myself before that (and i’d worked hard to get to that point!) but their view of me made me see myself in a new and terrible light. I’ve been trying to accept that that is their view and it’s valid for them to have their perspective, but that them misunderstanding and mischaracterizing me does not have to be my view. Only I know the journey I’m on, and I’m proud of myself for being heartfelt, even if I make mistakes in the process, even if people don’t like me as a result.
Alessia I absolutely love this video! I love how you applied Buddhist meditation to these situations. I try to practice stoicism/ Buddhism and meditation but never thought to observe thoughts in the context of people pleasing tendencies/reactions. Will absolutely start doing this now. Love love love your pure, beautiful energy. So refreshing to see someone else I consider to be just like me in that regard. Never change, you are brave and powerful for being a source of peace and light in a scary and misguided world. We love hearing your thoughts and voice! Your contributions to the world are invaluable 🥲Thank you for sharing this xxxx
Alessia, one of your videos popped on in my feed yesterday and now I have binged watched a couple of your brillant videos. I instantly felt connected to you, your authenticity and passion really shine your through the screen. I really resonate with your experiences and opinions. Thank you for making these videos. I will share them with friends. These topics are so important and life changing! 💜
