"Pardon me, officer, would you mind dragging that twisted-looking chap over here a little closer to the car, please? My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that. Look at that, Sugar Lips! That's his ribcage sticking out the glove compartment. That will be all, officer. You can throw him back on the pile."
Without a question one of the best stand-up pieces I have ever seen. Not only is it extremely funny, it speaks volume about human nature - our excuses for not taking responsibiliy and our desire to look at others misery.
I think he is being sarcastic and criticizing people who hit and run away but would stop and watch when they aren't responsible....ooooor he is just crazy
A master of language, thank god that George Carlin wasn't a politician (that may spelled wrong... but fuck it as I was saying before I completely interrupted myself). If George Carlin were a politician we would be living in a better world, a more exciting world. R.I.P. George Carlin
i wanted to let you know 11 years later, you spelled politician correctly and laud you the award of not going back to find out if you did or not. It happened back there! And of course, RIP Carlin. I enjoyed growing up twice with him, once in childhood for his narration, second in my teens for his standup.
I must be having a thick head day, It wasn't until about four and a half minutes in that I realised George was joking about and having a dig at the kind of people that do what he was describing. Nicely done Mister C. Another classic. 8) Holy shit, I wish he was still around :-(
You know...I have a feeling this would serve as the perfect allegorical guide on how to treat forums and messageboards too. Total enjoyment of the drama and total lack of personal stress. :)
He’s hilarious.I don’t always agree but the way he puts things is so funny I can’t get butt hurt. I’m too busy rolling on the floor trying to catch my breath. Too much cake and tacos can make it hard to breath. Trust me on this and don’t ask.
I accidentally hit a cat with my car and this is actually helping me get over it. Haha. I can't find the animal to see if it's okay, but at least George is here to console me.
I know it's been forever since you wrote this, but how long did it take to get over that? I haven't hit a cat or a dog yet and while believing in no deity for the purpose I'm about to describe, I pray that I never do as I know it would sink me internally for a long time. Good ol' Curious George has been great in moments of grief in general though. My dark side in that moment would be saying "leave these people alone. haven't you done ENOUGH?"
@James Fisch I just kinda let time do it. Funny (or not funny) thing is I actually hit another cat on that same road a few months later, and also couldn't find that one. I've been driving for 20 years and never hit an animal besides those 2 cats in that same area, so I started calling that place "Suicide Cat Road."
Ok so here’s my first wreck story: Got into my first accident a few days ago. Thought I had a green arrow to turn, I only had a green LIGHT, not a arrow. Shit. Crashed. Cars didn’t get super totaled, just a small dent in both. Guy was cool about the whole ordeal, officer came, showed the evidence on my dash cam, I got the ticket, and now I have to go to court for my screw up. In a way I think to myself “What if we just drove away, and I would have given him money out of my pocket to pay for the damages?”….Or maybe just drive away? People weren’t really around to see the whole mess either….. but anyways, I did the right thing, I guess, and stayed at the scene, as he did too. Still sucks, and it is very embarrassing knowing the fact I caused it. I honestly thought my first ticket would be about speeding, not for a wreck I caused. I was disappointed in myself, and still trying to get over this mess. I’m glad it wasn’t super bad, just like my parents said…..but a $155 dollar ticket doesn’t make me feel good either, as well as insurance going up, aaaaaaand dealing with points on my drivers license (which can be removed if I retake a drivers course). I wanted to crawl under a bush and die tbh. Since before this happened, I thought I was very careful on these roads (my area is bad for wrecks), and now I’m 10x more careful when driving now, making SURE I have the right of ways, triple checking my surroundings, and making sure I stay the speed limit. I’m sure people who have been in wrecks before know about how stressful it is to get back on the road after an accident (weather your at fault, or not). I didn’t wanna drive for like…the next 5 days, but unfortunately I work hard to pay my bills, and I can’t afford to miss a single day. Life will go on, even after the worst has happened. Thank you George Carlin for yet again making me laugh in dark times, my you rest in peace. This will pass in time I know, but it’s still freshly humiliating in my mind. Also it was good trying to vent about this. Maybe in the future this comment can help someone out who’s been involved with an accident, and they were at fault too. Remember, things can always be worse, at least we both walked away from the whole ordeal. Have a good day/night out there people, and stay safe driving out there! :)
I haven't had an accident involving another motorist yet, but I'm sure it'll happen someday. But I know that feeling of everything changing after the first ticket. After driving with a clean record for about 8-9 years I got my first speeding ticket, 16 or 17 MPH over the limit on the interstate. I almost wanted to tell the officer "you guys finally got me" and "that much for the ticket? you should see my weekly doordash bill" but I kept it respectful. Even joked to myself I'd give him a good review if there was a site where I could give feedback on traffic cops since he was friendly. That was 2 years ago, I've mostly cooled it on going that fast unless it's in line with a bunch of drivers doing the same thing, my mistake was doing it alone lol
People need to stop and think about George Carlin. He was a comedian. He had a brilliant mind, but some of his stuff was just funny shit that wasn't supposed to be taken seriously. He claimed he didn't believe in God,but in his 2004 show, "Life is Worth Losing", when talking about fat people, he said "Jesus, protector of all things good and holy, save me from people with fat thighs and short pants." With a lot of his material, he identified with people because of stuff he brought up, like in this show, "Complaints and Grievances", where he talked about clipping his toenails. He said, "You grab the biggest toenail clipping, and you bend it don't you?? Of course you do!" So to all those people who are thiking George would seriously hit someone with his car and drive off, you are crazy! Some people would do that, and that's how he was in his comedy bits. He related to people that way. Not EVERYONE, but certain people.
The human population can be ignorant. When you make a joke you say outlandish things some true and some to make the story sound good. When I joke some ppl believe every word I say, because I have more of a Carlin sense of humor where I don't laugh. Ppl should take what comedians say with a grain of salt. From what I get from this joke is he probably speeds and does take risk, but everything else he says to make it funny like he's an ass hole lol
pfft this guy is being sarcastic & what he has just finished talking about is exactly what most people do in regards to traffic accidents. There are more people in this world who don't give a shit about each other than those who do. That's the point of this thing. Who knows what George was really like in real life.
@kaofpm He's not to be taken 100% seriously. The guy said himself "I love criminals more than policemen, even if the criminal's gonna kill my whole fuckin family". He also said himself that he voluntarily exaggerates his anger and the things he says. He's a comedian, he's here to make you laugh. He supposes that his audience is intelligent enough to know when he's joking and when he's not, and not to follow blindly anything he says (like a certain group of people)
@kaofpm He just attacks people who stop to watch and won't help. You did the right thing obviously. There are many people out there who will stop at an accident and watch without helping. To make matters worse some of them tell others that actually provide first aid, that they are doing it wrong, without wanting to do it themselfes instead.
every1 just relax. Some things this man says are true. He just exaggerates a bit. And Tony! I got hit by a car too,but still think this is great comedy.
@Goingsomewheresoon The people that dislike him are the ones who are offended by the things he says about them. Religious people (generalization of course) I'd imagine are very much so offended by him if they've heard some of his other stuff.
@OfficerJordan I'm somewhat of a fan of Pokémon (it somewhat stopped after Ruby and Sapphire versions) and George Carlin makes me laugh too. If anyone thinks I'm hating him for saying that line at 5:49, that's wrong. Pokémon does have some things that need to be addressed and be made fun of even though I like the game series.
Tony maybe you should have watched where you were walking. George Carlin is a comedic genius. If you don't like what he has to say don't watch the video. Its called comedy
