"If someone needs space from you, something is wrong." I chalked it up to his introversion and my anxious attachment style, but you reminded me that the right person won't want all this space and my love won't be too much for them. Thank you for your videos. They are a healing balm for my aching heart.
Can I ask where you go to meet new people? Like what are some good options for meeting new potential partners? Because I don't even know where I would start, when I get over this, and am ready again. I hate the social media thing that everyone does now, so much!!
Please help me sir God knows how much I love my husband Been faithful loyal sweet to him. I make his favorite food. When his ready to take shower I get ready his towel clothes to wear. Scrub his back. Put socks on. Sweet. What I have done to him. Why he left me. I'm not perfect I know. But I deserve to know the reason. Why he left me. Why he keep the key for our place. And never blocked me. I'm really sad. Pain. Everything. Please help me give answer. I file a divorce is that good idea. Please help me to get thru this pain.
@RealCoachLee I can't wait anymore to my husband to call me or text me. I'm.having a hardtime to fight over it. Start being lawyer ti get over it. Is that good idea. I haven't call him since April 1 also on his birthday April 3rd. His not going to answer to my call anyway Really painful. I miss him so much. And love him to death. Why he blocked me on his phone. Why he has the key for our place. Please sir give me hope.he left with saying word. No fights. Atleast tell me what's our issue then sort it out. Atleast I know my problem. I will accept it. I keep praying to God. For us heel us.
I like what he has to say about the "I need to work on myself" excuse. You are going to work on yourself indefinitely. My ex did this. She told me she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now because she wants to work on herself. When I asked why she can't work on herself while dating me, she couldn't give me an answer. She just constantly gave me excuses without any justification. I tried to fight for her but now, I realize that maybe she wasn't the right one.
@@ABCD-uq3ol It took me 3 years since the breakup for pain to sort of normalize. I still hurt but less compared to what it initially was. Healing is a slow process. Take your time.
1. You Have to Want to Feel Better 0:16 2. You Can Feel Better In Seconds 3:18 3. Does The Hurt Bother You? 4:30 4. If You Had No History With Them 7:02 5. The Right One Won't Leave 8:30 6. Is The Pain You Holding The Torch? 11:58 7. You Survived This Before 13:46 8. Are There Unsaid Things? 16:03 9. Stop Giving It Energy 17:32 10. Is This Feeling Real? 18:50
@@nasser1982 yeah self respect comes first, 90NC wow ur strong. I knew one thing when she left me , I was like she'll regret one day . I was loyal and faithful to her even till now I haven't text any girls but in her case she's been going out, she got like 100plus guys in her contact , that's how the fight happened when I caught her flirting behind my back, all I ask was to remove those guys as it's disrespectful but she remove me instead 😅 yet before it was her begging me to stay with her when I knew about her past , now she left me once I start loving her...promise to get married with me yet her guy friends are more important than me...do you think its true love??😅
@@teresarivera1164 I met her 2 weeks ago , I ask her about the status of the relationship, she is not sure about it , I'll suggest anyone going NC is to try to keep going ahead , if u want to reach out go ahead after 2 to 3 months , but dont expect so much....mine is confused and it's been days now she never mention anything about us , im just living on false hope....at this point. I'm moving on as well
Hey JJ, how’s it going? I understand your pain. I Hope regardless of the outcome, you’re in a better mental state. I’m right at the start so I know I have a lot of pain but I hope there’s brightness at the end of the tunnel.
Coach Lee, you are the GOAT!! It's been a year & 9 months of NC after a 22 yr relationship & as I've told you before, you literally saved my life. I still think about him, but he is still with the person he left me for, I've accepted it.
I cried in the car listening to this entire video. Every single point hit me right in the feels. Thank you for making this video coach. I desperately needed to hear this. You just saved me. 🙏🏼
For me it was a 'click' in my mind, that no matter what I do or how much I try, my ex is never going to be the person I could love, or who could make me happy, being incapable of forming true connection, intimacy, trust, etc. I felt deep acceptance, even grace. From this moment I just knew I'm going through the break up, and it won't be a linear line heading up, but it will come and go in waves. I cried, I missed them, but I was also getting better day by day with this acceptance and knowing I'll get over them.
@@desmondbaxter2449this comment was on my mind all day. Yes, despite it being my birthday and people thinking i am happy about it. But I am not. I am hurt probably beyond point of repair and I don’t know how to move on from this pain, I am basically enduring it in hopes of the pain not changing my core and belief. He betrayed me in the innocence of our love and I feel used, he used my love and innocence for us. And a year ago today, he contacted me on my birthday promising me changes for us and 1-2 weeks later he broke up with me again, he did this three times in total of 7 years relationship. So I am in pieces and trying to just heal from this unimaginable pain and no, I promise you, I didn’t do him any harm. In fact, my clean conscious is all I have left. Coach Lee once said on one of his videos about feeling a shift of motions and momentum once the process of no contact takes place. I am in that momentum but together with my pain. That’s why I was so thankful for this video today of all days. Because today of all days, I feel my pain the most.
It's been 6 months since my ex dumped me. I thought he would come back. It's the worst heart break I've ever been though. But I am so grateful to coach Lee and hate to think where I would be if I didn't have his great advice and wisdom. Thank you coach Lee, I'm so grateful to you. ❤
Wow, coach Lee went REAL deep with this one. It's like he is talking directly to our subconscious. I will be forever grateful to this master of psychology, telling us things our soul already knew but couldn't put into words. This is a great comfort and comprehensive enough that even the smart ass people like me can't argue with it.
Coach Lee thank you so much the point that helps the most is “if you didn’t have history with them and you heard they did this to someone would you want to date them” absofeckinlutely Not!!!
Thank you Coach Lee. I’m a veteran with PTSD and your videos have helped me tremendously. They might have even saved my life. Thank you for what you do.
I’ve survived this before. However, this was years of a beautiful relationship. Both in our early 50’s, with common goals and expecting to be the last one. I accepted him to friend zoning me for over a year after the breakup. I decided to establish NC a month ago. I am not willing to give him my energy nor my time. Pain is chemically based. Redirecting my thoughts. Finally opened to allow a great man that is willing to walk the walk with me ❤🎉
Thank you coach Lee, I was dumped 18 days ago after four years and your videos saved me, to be honest I was living with the hope but after 16 days I saw her again and she was dead cold I read her a final letter were I apologize and take my part, she cried but said that in the 16 days she didn't even though once about me, that was the words that were enough for me to realise that It was a waste of time to be affected by her and I deleted all our pictures the same night. This video come in the perfect time for me
@@helenan866 Thanks I hope you can also progress well in your healing journey, all my thougts are with you and everyone else, we are in the same boat but we're gonna make it :D
Talking and journaling, was very therapeutic to me, every time I shared at the LORD was healing me.. TALKING, praying and hearing other peoples experiences also really help me as it was with them.. I am in a support group right now. A grief class. Oh it’s just wonderful. I encourage everyone to get into a grief class no matter what your pain and loss is. We need to grieve or we will get into addictions, and I do not want that. I hope this is helpful..
The best breakup and relationship coach I ever come across on RU-vid! 👏👏 He is very knowledgeable and insightful and gives all information with integrity unlike other self proclaimed coaches who may mislead people with incorrect information just to gain popularity and money! Listen to coach Lee folks! He is the real deal!
@@RealCoachLee Coach Lee my ex came back after 2 weeks of no contact she was the pursuer initially but I kinda took over and was a step ahead she still seems a little distant what should I do? Could continue dating her make her loose even more interest?
So timely! This video is an answered prayer.. Thank You Coach Lee, your lessons I will carry with me for a lifetime and pass on to my daughters! Tried and true!
So much painful truth! Ouch. But i love it! Im suffering in no contact but I definitely feel better knowing she is getting zero satisfaction in knowing im thinking about her.
I've let go a long time now and I've even forgiven.....and I'm moving on.....coach Lee vids has helped me through the entire process of 7 months and some may say it's not long but it was very long for so much pain and once I let go I realise that it's was a game changer and I focus on me and my growth.... And it's been awesome
Thank you so much Lee for all you do! Recently went through a break up not even 2 weeks ago and just went no contact after finding your videos and I can already feel the tides changing and he is continuing to reach out and I don’t even open the messages & I’ve gone from feeling pathetic to empowered more everyday I don’t break no contact. Your videos have completely changed my approach around to the right way. ❤
Can’t wait to see this one! I believe I need to get over her in my heart in order for me to redeem my dignity, and redeeming my attraction. To her, and to others. I’ll be posted up for this one Lee!
I always revisit Coach Lees videos once im feeling much better. One thing you realise is that hes really helping you work on yourself, so you're happier in life regardless of whether they reach out or not, and if they do, you're mentally best placed to make a rational choice
I repeat, if I’d only had this in my younger years. Ughhh. Would’ve saved me lots of heartaches and definitely some dignity. Yup, they say they want out, good, let them walk out, no need to chase after anyone who doesn’t want to be around you. It’s insulting to one self to be “begging” for someone’s attention.
I want to feel better. The pain is ruining me physically, but I can't and don't want to let her go. I believe that love will find a way. The question is can you endure and wait long enough.
Coach Lee is right about everything he talks about in his videos. I went no contact with my ex and just after 4 days she reached out saying we were making a mistake. In my heart I knew it was too soon and I told her that I wanted time to love myself again before I’d want to get back. So now I’m here, trying to get over something I could’ve had. It sounds crazy but Coach Lee 100% knows what he’s talking about.
I just got this in my recommendations after watching your premiere, thank you so much. I've been in no contact thinking about this person for too long and I can't say it's the first time. ( with this person or others lol ) I've finally gotten fed up and decided it's time I deserve better than to be wasting my time like that thank you for helping point people in the direction of the better things that they deserve.
I am going on 3 1/2 years trying to get over my Narc. Moving out of my condo where there were memories, helped a lot. But far from over him regardless. Almost two weeks ago, I found out he died. Because we had no contact for a few years, and he had moved 6 hrs away, I think that helped me not to fall apart as bad as I would have, had he'd been here and close by. What scares me is I feel like I lost hope because there is no chance for any reconciliation. Not that there was a chance anyway but I hoped just maybe. I feel more dead than he is right now. I may never recover from his death even though I may have recovered enough from him leaving me to be functional. I worry it will hit me hard when I least expect it. I am in denial.
Hi Lee! I'm binge watching your videos as I have PBS (post-breakup syndrome). This video hit hard, it's kinda different from the rest. I have some mental illnesses (BPD, bipolar, anxiety.. all the "blessings"). What you said really resonated with me. Thank you for all your amazing support to all of us who are struggling! ❤
Can't believe I'm going through this again.. But I'm so so grateful for coach Lee. I would be so lost and going about things all wrong if it weren't for this channel
@@bladimiragurcia4720 yep especially at night when it's all quiet and you just wish you could turn the thoughts off.. Sometimes I just fall asleep to Coach Lee's videos 🥲
These videos have helped me so much, the break up has been tough but I know that I will get through this. And like Coach Lee said, I’ve been through a break up before and I will get through it again although this one will be harder. And I realized she was the perfect person and neither was I, I made a lot of mistakes that could have been prevented but you just got to learn from those mistakes and be different when you do meet someone new. Thank you Coach Lee, this would have been more difficult without your videos.
The right Edson appreciates you it's not normal to need space ... thanks for this ! If someone needs space from you something's wrong . The right person isn't going to need space. The right person will not make these excuses. Thank you !
Hey coach Lee, I’ve been listening to your videos every time I break up in the past 5 years. I truly appreciate you so much and feel like you’re an old friend who’s always here supporting me whenever my heart breaks
Love this video! He’s told me I’m too needy, I need to give him space like it’s my fault! All I did was love him. I’ve been doing no contact (day 8) after watching this video I don’t even think i want him back? Thanks coach Lee. Your videos are the only thing keeping me going ❤️
Right on man. You should probably make more videos of this nature for those of us who are in this stage of ending the relationship. I bought your emergency marriage kit, but didn’t make it past the second video before it started to really sink in that what she did was unforgivable, and that if she was right for me she wouldn’t have done it. Thank you for the video. Many good points there. Maybe consider making one with a harsher tone like Jocko did for those of us that need a stern talking to. It really does help.
I value every single word you said to me. His thoughts doesn't doesn't make me cry anymore. I have analyzed my situation and found that I don't deserve this pain. I deserve to be happy. If this person can't do this much he's not the right one for me. But his thoughts come to me, especially when I'm traveling or alone doing nothing. I keep myself as busy as possible and focusing on the betterment of myself. Thanks. Love you❤
Thank you! So insightful about pain and separation.👍It can also be pain from a separation in your childhood, you perhaps isnt aware of, triggered after a separation as an adult. I have experienced that and it was much easier to handle when I understood the source. ,
Hey coach! Been watching you for awhile now. Thank you! My ex cheated on me and left me for him after we were together 14 years. And now they got married and he has her on meth! But im still going thru hell trying to heal.
It's been 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from her. Nor, have I texted or called her either. She wrote me off like I never existed. I'm sure the drug usage has alot to do with it.
Coach Lee, thank you for all these absolutely awesome messages, your way better than any counselor or even antidepressants, I am already feeling some relief from my partner who lived with me, I thought she really loved me till she packed behind my back , THAN had some girl pick her up im front of my house with me standing there in complete shock 😢Wow what a blow to me, without your videos im not sure how I would be right now , but I see im walking away from this evil person who has no soul.thank you coach Lee
This was great. Yes more. It’s what I needed to hear bc for the right person, I will not be too much. Space I understand after years of marriage, not when you are trying to establish in the first year of two. I like space and I understand space if I know about it ahead of time or we get to talk about it, not keep the time you want alone a secret. It’s not normal it’s not that I am clingy. Thank you.
Greetings from the Czech Republic. I have seen many of your videos, but this one has helped me the most so far. Especially the way you talk about the pain, which is not real and is something like a hallucination. This realization opened my eyes a lot. And yes, your videos are very helpful and please keep up what you are doing. Thank you very much. 🌞
Oh, this was an extremely helpful video, I'm seriously considering a consultation but with the current economic situation, it is nearly impossible for me, so I just type on all your videos and pretend you are my therapist & I talk to you too, you just don't hear me, I am going insane.
Everyone who is going through a break up should first watch a video about Coach Lee talking about NC. From there, they should watch this. Because if you think about it, both videos are intertwined and give legitimacy to the other. NC will be much easier after watching this. And finally, realize that your ex likely left you for someone else. When it doesn't work out between them, that's when your ex will be back. But knowing what happened, do you want them back? No, you don't. You're better than that. There are 8 billion people on this planet, do you really think that scrub is the one for you?
This one was hard to listen to at times but it's exactly what I needed and made me feel seen and understood and hopeful. Thank you. It really felt like you were talking to me.
Thank you, for this information because I now have the self permission to stop giving the breakup more energy and I believe the facts and I will continue healing now because I know the cause of pain, the brain chemical and that it's not real towards the other person now I can stop beating myself up emotional for the wrong person who I would tell someone else if they hurt that they can heal and move on. I will heal and move on, thank you Coach, I can breath again, thank you Coach!!!!!❤🎉
I’m getting a little bit better as days passes by. She broke up with me because shes an anxious avoidant and I also have lacking in our relationship. 2 months and counting of going NC 😢
- Let go of the pain. Its not helping only dragging you down. - You can feel better in seconds and be over the person. Think that its possible. - Does the hurt bother you? Dont care about the hurt. Adapt a “so what” attitude. Yes I hurt but thats ok, its a breakup. - If I had no history with this person would I still want them? - The right person would NOT LEAVE. - The right person would not care if you are needy he would just be happy to hear from you. He would want to comfort you. If they need space there is something wrong. Not a sign of a healthy relationship. Consider leaving and not taking them back even if they try to come back. They will not say ”maybe I will come back in the future”, ”I need to work on myself” thats just wrong. Everybody needs to work on themselves all the time. - You dont disappoint them by not hurting. Its ok to stop hurting. - You survived this before. You forgot about it before. Let the logic decide. - Are there unsaid things that have not been said before. - Separate the pain from things that have been said. - Stop giving it energy. Talk about it, stop talking about it. Dont give it energy by talking about it. - Is this feeling real? Or is it only chemical? -Is this person the right person? The right person would not leave.
He was abusive and toxic which brought out the worst in me. I always felt a little kid constantly being ripped apart.After 6 years he pulled aways 7 months and told me three days ago he's wants :see where it goes with his new girlfriend..i'm so sick to my stomach he's with another girl.
She said "no calls" and when I started to reflect on that, it means she never really loved me and the pain from that realization is so intense that I feel like crying... I just couldn't let it out :(
@@Niwweleg Well, if you love someone you'd want them to be in touch with you. You'd want to hear from them. We did eventually get on the phone for 4 hours only after she allowed it and she'd act like we're about to marry, but she always does this where after we have our calls she'd just go cold and barely responds to my texts. Yesterday, she sent me a sticker that says "who cares." I told her I was bothered by that but to no avail. So I just stopped. It was all my fault because the same thing happened previous time we talked which was a year ago.
Thank You coach Lee , if I didn’t have the history ? the answer is No! He isn’t a shining Gem I’ve heard it said Take the Shine off of them The right person wouldn’t dump Me or Ghost Me
Thank you so much Coach Lee for all that you do. This video especially has helped me tremendously! I watched video after video from you and others, and this is the only video that was organized in such a way that allowed me to process my feelings logically and didn't leave me itching to start a new video. Much love Coach Lee, God bless you.
it's actually a hallucination.. not real pain....reminds me of my favorite Radiohead song....I'm not here...this isn't happening....thanks coach! Best help ever! I mean it
Thanks coach Lee There are so many other videos available but your videos tackles the best way And in this particular video; different areas which were never touched by anyone are discussed to handle breakup
