so true, and also mothers need to make sure their mental health is in order before they decide to have a child as well, reality is though, that does not always happen
@8luvbug because they are not financially stable they shouldn’t have kids?? How about the emotional aspect of having a child, they probably have a child and that child is better of than someone who was ‘financially stable ‘
8luvbug I’ve seen it happen and the children are better off than financially stable folks and carry high values and moreover the situations they were grown up in actually humbled them for the future
Loni KNOWS the struggle! You can tell by her response to this topic. People who where starving as child and had no clothes on their back, no electricity to read books or keep them warm know that there is nothing romantic and cute about raising a child while broke.
Roxana Romero what’s most sad is I know quite a few people who have chosen this lifestyle with absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel... it’s too real
You dont but it happens and when it does you get it together. That what me and my fiance did. We got pregnant with 0 dollars and no home or car. Now we both have jobs I'm in school , we have a home and car. When we found out we starting doing things we were already doing just in fast forward. Honestly I think it motivated us more to get what we wanted. Or maybe we would've dragged our feet.
What's crazy is no one said love was enough. Jeannie was saying if you can afford to crrate a nurturing environment for the kid..even if it isnt $200,000 a year.. . That love you nurture for the child makes things like expenses really irrelevant.
Like Michael Jackson said: if ya can’t feed ya baby, then don’t have a baby. Children needs stability, they need to be safe. If you want a child, you need to be financially stable so you can support that child.
You Tube 1. Is the advice wrong? 2. Alleged. 3. There’s so much evidence that he’s NOT a pedophile, and there’s literally no way you can know all the evidence and not at the very least be extremely skeptical of claims that he’s guilty. Please research things so your opinion is educated. And I mean this in the most sensitive way to csa survivors, but literally anyone can point a finger and say someone did something to them and people would believe it. It’s the sad side of the me too movement where one one side, it’s great that victims can speak up and get justice for what was done to them, on the other hand, people take advantage of movements like this and make a mockery of actual abuse victims. And that’s what I think those “victims” are doing as far as Michael is concerned. And I have very good reason to believe so
RoseGold 25 What evidence shows hes not a pedophile? He was immensely interested in young boys, showered with them, slept in the same BED with them nude, many accusations etc. If MJ was a regular dude then u would believe the victims. Btw many pedos are immature and like to hang out with kids so thats not an excuse
@@alexjames2510 literally there's no credible evidence that he showered with kids, he did sleep in the same bed (not nude) but so did whole families because it was a huge bed, huge room at that. Tell me actual facts, please and thank you. Not rumors created by people for a quick buck.
People need to realize that having a supportive family is not the same as being financially stable! Don’t burden your family with the responsibility of helping you raise a child you should’ve waited to have!
It’s interesting how people only want to look at financial stability when it comes to having kids. What about mental stability? It’s a lot of people who have money who should not be parents either.
Love or not your future child should not have to go hungry, worry about being homeless, or going to school wearing dirty old clothes just because YOU want to be a parent. They don’t deserve that, wait until you’re capable
How about giving us our land back, take your foreign currency back and we live off of the fat of this land given to us by GOD for free... The white man can go back to their caves.... We bartered with each other taking care of one another untli the pale face caucazoid came and stole our land...
I love Loni, she’s lookin at them like “Girl, bye.” Also let Loni speak, I love her, bc she brings the facts. Also Adrienne is right, people say I want to be a parent, & they don’t think about the steps it takes to be ready.
I feel you. See there's a difference between financially stable and broke. Idk many people with kids who are financially stable. I consider stable getting by.
....and who has the right to tell you that you should not have kids? A job is lost daily of someone who had good income and found themselves homeless after obtaining a home a car and a degree...no one should be determining other's lives...this topic really bothers me because the Europeans came and took our land and resources giving for free it to other Europeans who wanted to come to Turtle Island to overtake this country and here we are today living in a white supremacist society....LoveLove
You shouldn’t have a child if you aren’t financial able to take care of the child. You don’t have to be rich but should be able to provide food,clothes, and shelter. Which means if you are just getting by with yourself then you shouldn’t have a child.
not even that! Even if you have a stable job, you have to look into the future, with that job are you going to be able to send your kid to college? If at that moment you can't then its not the time.
Saving money for a child to go to college BEFORE they are even born is not an actual necesity. The parent has 18+ years to save up some money. Plus, a child can send themselves to college. I joined the military and once I finished my first contract I endulged in my paid for education. There's scholarships, financial aid and having a job. Yes, it would be nice for a parent to be able to pay for their child's college so they can attend a university of their choice, but if they have to do work, do school part time at the local community college while living at their parents home, it's not the end of the world and actually is a pretty sweet alternative.
Toulouse Berlioz All I was saying is that’s it’s selfish to bring a child into this world if you are broke and can’t even take care of yourself. It is smart and should be necessary to save up and prepare for your child because I know it can be hard growing up in a home that isn’t financially stable.
@@angelinajolie2253 oh haha I was speaking to Olga Daniella because she mentioned being able to send a child to college. I agreed with everything you said lol.
Bull! If you can't afford to have children, don't have them. And this is coming from a woman that is a product of a single parent that raised 11 kids on his own.
Jeannie is definitely the idealist of the group. Bare minimum is health and safety, but realistically, you want your children to have more than just health and safety. They should be able to eat what they want and play with toys they want.
I think people like to romanticize the idea of struggling if there is love. Yes, a child needs love. But it is irresponsible to bring a child into this world if you are not stable enough to take care of them.
Hell yea, anyone who brings a kid into the world and can't afford to give him or her basic needs should absolutely NOT have a child. Having a baby because it's your "dream" is not a good reason. I consider it 100% selfish.
I got pregnant at 19 and I was not financially stable but today I live on my own with my daughter. Her father and I work our ass off to give our daughter the best life.
do you own your home? Do you have the funds saved for the next 5, 10 or even 15 years for your child? their school expenses, even college expenses?If not, then you're not financially stable.
A A Thank you for sharing your story. I also got pregnant unexpectedly and it made me a better person. I realized I didn’t need fancy purses and other luxuries. In my opinion, no one is ever truly ready for kids unless they are insanely rich but you make it work and learn to prioritize. Every life matters and it’s wonderful to hear you and the father stepped up to give your daughter a great LIFE. God bless.
These people are being dicks. I had my son at 18 and i feel like it makes you a better parent because you can still remember being a kid. As long as you can provide food, clothes, shelter and love that's all kids need. It's better to come from a home with lots of love and not too much money compared to loads of money but no time or love
But why have kids and then “figure it out”? Its unfair to the kid to have to suffer because of ur financial issues, just because YOU needed a child to have fulfillment in ur life. Why cant u “figure it out” and THEN have kids
It’s incredibly irresponsible having children if you aren’t stable. Children are expensive so in my opinion it is selfish to bring a child into that situation.
Umm having children is not without cost, and they are certainly not cheap! The expenses start before the child is even born. Of course ppl have been “making it happen” since the dawn of time, but it’s selfish to bring a child into struggle. It’s also selfish to the parents because instead of enjoying the amazing journey, ur stressing about what u can or cannot afford.
To me a low pay check isn't instability. You can be poor but have security in the paycheck you get. To me, instability is when you don't know where your next pay check will come from and/or don't know how you're going to pay the next bill. That can happen when you're already poor, but also when you lost your job and were in middle class before that. I believe your financial should be stable, in other words secure. You can be poor and take care of the child on a strict budget, but you can't be wondering every day where you get the money from to feed or care for the child
@@smpiano6605 you probably wouldn't be here if thats the case. Think about all your ancestors. Surely, every single one of them were not rich enough to keep producing.
No. My father worked 10 hour days, 6 days a week for many years to make less than minimum wage. Essentially, I grew up without a father. He was in our lives but is he really “in” it if we can never have dinner together? Never go out together? He missed my school awards ceremonies and graduations just so he could work. It’s not slavery, but it is being extremely underprivileged. I get what Jeannie was saying about health and safety, but the U.S. is not a third world country, and $28,000k a year for 3 kids is. not. enough. My parents never took public assistance mind you. No food stamps, no check. We couldn’t access Medicaire, Medicaid, none of that. The only thing that made us survive is this country’s promise to teach children no matter their background til grade 12 and non-profits providing basic healthcare. (This applied to one of us three kids, others had healthcare). I sometimes wish that even that wasn’t offered so my parents used their senses and did not have kids. Planning wise I do not want to have kids til I have the childhood I want to give to them, the childhood I did not have. Until I can give my kids the luxuries in addition to the necesities, it’s 1 maybe 2 planned kids for me. By “luxuries” I mean dinner at home with both parents, time off for graduations, etc., time off for extended family gatherings, and being present in your child’s lives. Clothes to not feel left out or weird for not being able to afford a new pair of shoes. You would not believe it, but that costs a large amount of money. Time off=fair wages and money. Hell, my parents haven’t bought new clothes since 1999 (not secondhand, I mean full price). They always shop clearance unless something is clearly not available, like kid’s shoes or coat. My dad worked but that was stupid. I dont want to double think myself if I can afford to get ice cream every time we go out.
The problem is the system is broken. A majority of financially unstable parents I know depend on the government and taxes to support their poor decisions
ASMRMUNCHES which feeds into system of people not having to be responsible for their decisions. It’s a lot easier to have an ill advised child when you know you can count on a check from the government
The sad thing is, there are couples, especially young, who are planning to have kids and aren't financially stable and they go into it expecting financial support from others. Parents of those couples need to step in and acknowledge their situation and educate the young couples that, sorry mam, that ain't my baby. Younger people are getting off scott free and its causing our parents to be working till they're 65-70 instead of retirement to support these rugrats. I say this as a 21 year old mother to a unplanned baby and this is the lessons my mom taught me.
I had my first born at 21 and now my second born at 24. both were accidental and we were never in the position to do it financially. the first time round we saved, got different jobs and really grew up quite fast and have never struggled to provide anything for my children or even for myself. it's all about budgeting. also my parents have not once helped me because I fully agree with you on that but they will still be a parent to my little sister well into their sixties.
My parents weren't even stable human beings. My aunts and grandmothers ended up picking up the slack and raising me. This is selfish and if you cant take care of them, it forces others to do it.
No you should NOT have them if you cannot take care of them mentally, emotionally, and financially. Circumstances change, you can be stable one day and then someone becomes ill; I'm sure we can agree that we're talking about people who were/are currently unstable when they decide to have their child(ren). Children need stability, growth, and protection. Financial instability and poverty affect them and their developing bodies tremendously. My stomach remembers the pain from every single time I had to go without food, I have corns on my toes to remind of the miles I walked from school with burning feet from shoes that didn't fit, my lungs remember the pollution in the air, my goosebumps remember the shivers every time I felt unsafe from the violence and depression enveloping the hood where I lived, my brain remembers the stress from each time we had to live in cramped and toxic quarters with other relatives, and my heart remembers the years that I missed out on time with my mama when she had many hours between multiple jobs. The 5 years worth of time I barely saw her hits me especially hard knowing that I lost her to breast cancer at 14. Growing up in poverty isn't something anyone should have to go through; it's actual torture and the damage stays in you forever. I understand trying to keep positive energy and being thankful for what you had despite challenges, but I LOATHE when people practically glamorize poverty or minimize the destructive effect it has. Poverty is the worst way to teach appreciation, humility, kindness, and gratitude; it isn't even guaranteed to teach these things and it comes with multiple types of trauma. You do not need to eat nutritionally scarce food or go without an adequate amount of food on a regular basis in order to learn not to be greedy and respect food. No, most (if not all of us) did NOT turn out "fine. We have neurological damage; that's not fine. Here's a well researched link on childhood trauma: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-95ovIJ3dsNk.html I'm not talking about people who have pretty much had their basic necessities adequately cared for. If you had reasonably well fitted, clean clothes and shoes (hand-me downs can be fine), important school supplies, necessary medication and basic healthcare, a safe home in a safe environment with necessary amenities (electricity, heat, water, reasonable space, reasonable healthy groceries for enough meals)- circumstances that are often associated as "middle class", I might not be talking to you. A few baggy shirts, old but not painful shoes, a rare missed meal, not being able to get braces (generally), sharing a room, and a lack of field trips shouldn't mess someone up for life. Don't make children if you cannot provide financial stability with mental and emotional sustenance. Make an effort to learn what you don't know, get help from trustworthy members of your community while you can't learn yourself, and stop repeating unhealthy patterns that clearly aren't working. If your best isn't good enough, don't do it. Being a parent isn't a right and it isn't a job you can fail in. It affects the lives of your children, any descendants from them on, anyone who had to take on your parenting role, and all of human society will have to deal with any long lasting repercussion that might spawn (crime, generational poverty, foster care, substance abuse,etc.)
I hate that we have to talk about this for a few reasons. There are MANY people who are absolutely stupid and/or incredibly self-centered who have children they can't care for all of the time. It's not a surprise that most people can't manage life and most children are unplanned. Most people don't really think about the kids. Terrible parenting is one of society's biggest issues; it directly and permanently affects who people become and is usually the biggest influence on a person. Also, there are some really good people out there who may never be in a position to provide stability for children due to corruption as well as pure unfairness in life. Some people have no way of escaping or adequately surviving war torn cities, some people have recently become refugees, some people are severely disabled. Some of those people make excellent parents despite their circumstances, and sometimes they also end up having very resilient children. There are outliers who manage to survive the destruction well enough to grow up and breathe adequate life into the future generations. Not everyone from harsh realities stay down or continue cycles. It isn't their fault that they can't provide certain important things for their children and some people in all parts of the world don't even have access to any type of birth control. Should these people never have children and never be intimate in that way with their partners, their husbands and wives? I feel cruel telling wonderful people they aren't allowed to be parents because of things that aren't their fault and are out of their control, but I also feel for what the children may have to suffer through and it breaks my heart. This world....
I’m saying this out of love but a rare missed meal, let alone any missed meals is a. huge. red. flag. It speaks to your credit score on life, if you know what I mean. There are rare circumstances but I’d say more often than not, people aren’t rich. Missing a meal time bc of a parent coming home later from work than usual is not essentially dying cuz you don’t have the basic necesities to support not death. One or two meals won’t mess up a child physically but mentally and for the parents stress wise is not an acceptable way to go about making decisions to have a child. You have to afford that for 18 years minimum, not even maximum; plus college? A one time mistake is fine but dont allow that to be the way you make decisions on how to live (like thinking it’s ok to have multiple kids). I wish society was more equally distributed to all but parents have to be realistic, especially with things they can control. I mean this for people who can get by for two people, not people in war torn countries where essentially noone can get by or places where noone has birth control. But women are only fertile one week a month, how does that affect your sex life IF you know how menstruation works. (I’m not joking. Some people may not have had the privilege to get to know.) You can be a parent to a cause, to the world. There’s more than one way to help, and to be honest besides money having kids isn’t even that financially stable unless you’re rich enough to age on your own (you have a caring caretaker in your 70’s? 80’s?) If I could have the comfort of knowing I don’t need kids for emotional or care giving needs as I get older I wouldn’t have them.
devon bell ok but that’s not the normal outcome of having kids while broke. Nor is that a good reason to willfully have children broke. Even if you and your sister turned out fine I’m sure you remember seeing your mom struggling hard. Plus I guarantee your mom would never tell you to do the same things she did.
Exactly. Of course you need the money to 'get by' and provide the necessities for the child but life doesn't stop when you have kids - things can and probably will change a lot over the 20 years that you're raising a child.
You cannot tell me that you love your to be born child while you willingly CHOOSE to let the child suffer. I'm not talking about non brands clothes but no electricity, no food, no play dates, a bed that is way too small for the childs age, no books, etc.
I agree with Loni 100% I waited until I was financially stable in a relationship with my own career, car and home before I had a baby. Age25. I grew up poor too and always told myself I never wanted to depend on the government to raise, feed and provide for my child.
Its selfish to PLAN a child while financially unstable however if it was unplanned I think it's ok to keep the baby, Also I'm with Lonnie aye us college students dont have that much money!! 😂
My dad passed away when I was 17.5 months old. My mom raised my older sister, younger sister, and me on her own. It wasn’t easy at all but she made it work.
When I was growing up we were very poor. My mom made $900 a month that's $10,800 a year. My mom was able to raise me with that. I new we didn't have a lot of money growing up, but I always had the necessities. I may not have had brand named clothes, but had I still had a great childhood. That being said, I don't think you have to be rich to have kids but I do agree with them, you should be somewhat stable to give the the child Health, necessities, love and care.
Maciie Muniz if that’s how you remember your childhood it wasn’t “great”. You’re just used to the environment you were in since you were born in it. It’s not okay.
You need to be able to feed, shelter, upkeep and allow the child to have a childhood without neglecting other necessary bills or being able to save money
blackbutterfly233ify I know but even when they were on hiatus’ before (as well as being on air) they would opt to 4-5 minute videos which I personally only accept when it’s a Web Exclusive lol
Being in college actually made me not want to have kids ever. College is really stressful for me, but one day I will graduate and be done with it. I also work while I’m in school, it is stressful as well, but again, one day I will retire and be done with it. As for having and raising kids, I bet it is 100 times more stressful than going through college and working, but just like Tam said, once you’re a parent you will always be a parent, and man I don’t think I’m ever gonna be ready for that kind of stress.
If you get pregnant and you are poor, keep your child. Love that child. Do whatever you can for that child. Raise it with love and compassion and Godliness first. Ask God to help you. But you should try to prepare a little bit beforehand financially.
Poverty breeds mental illness. As someone who grew up in poverty love is not enough for children. Safe Environment, Little to no stress, they need more than love
Bianca Hotca no. Give it up for adoption or have an abortion after you read how many people in this thread were raised on whatever their parents thought was “enough” and it wasn’t. DONT have that baby. Prayer won’t feed, clothe or house your child or put you in a position to better your life and situation and THEN have a healthy, 2 parent, thriving family.
Anony Mrs man shut up😴😴, do you have any idea that goes on in the adoption system! It’s a 50/50 chance that your child will go through fucking hell in that system , and ABORTION isn’t easy for everyone if you can do something like that to yourself the be it no judging for that but there is so many people out here THAT don’t believe in that, or care to do that to there child or themselves, so listen ladies if you are a single mom, and you don’t want adoption, or ABORTION you got this ladies are strong and will push through to give this child anything that they need
What these people end up doing is throwing all the responsibilities in others. My sister had s baby with no job and was dependent on my mom and I for support.
I agree with Jennie. Loni and Adrienne are great representation by their own admission. They wouldn’t be here if their parents felt the way they do. One can be depriving the world of a healer, a dynamic human being that the world needs.
you don’t have to have enough money, but you have to MAKE enough money. no one out of the 1% has enough money for school, college, sports, activities, etc right off the bat but to be able to afford it as they grow is absolutely necessary.
When we say stable we mean like do you have the funds that'll be able to buy the diapers , the clothes , the formula , and all of the stuff that you need for when it comes to taking care and nurturing this baby... and I don't think people should equate being financially stable with being rich because I always hear a lot of people say "well blah blah blah is rich so they can have kids cuz they have the money to afford them " #WRONGATTITUDE ... if a person has others who are apart of the family or even friends and are willing to chip in then by all means they can but they also need to have a form of independence and dot all their I's and cross all their t's when it comes to the financial part of raising their kid ! You have to be prepared
then again, you are referring to the "BABY", that baby is going to grow up and need more than just diapers and formula. People don't look further and really question that if in 17-18 years that that "BABY" is gonna go to college, they will be able to afford that.
Olga Daniella if you can barely afford stuff as a grown person who is still trying to figure stuff out and hasn’t gotten everything together before having that baby then there’s problems... that’s what I’m saying...it’s not about the age of the child , it’s about the access to be able to provide for your child
I see girls from my high school having multiple kids and they are the same ones on Facebook asking “what dr takes Medicaid?” Or “anyone hiring” or “anyone have a washer and dryer they can give us” like really you can’t even afford yourself and now you’re ok government funding
For topics and opinions like these, I love this show. They know how to talk about serious matters, disagree and not eat each other's head like they do on The View and similar shows.
This colour looks amazing on Tamera ! ❤️ and I quote my mama ‘love ain’t going to pay the bills’. Also, the moment you have a sick child, you’re gonna be seriously seriously broke then
Yes it should matter! Growing up I had everything! you could say I was privileged, went to private school all my life, had a good home, never had to struggle thanks to my parents. If I can't provide that for my children, I'm not going to have them. Like they mention; people focus more on the pregnancy, baby shower or on the "baby" and don't think on what will happen when that baby grows and has to go to daycare, then school and college or all that comes with it.
i can say i felt like a burden on my mother when she was struggling to provide dinners and christmas gifts so it really js makes you feel like wow if she hadnt had me shed be fine. do not have kids if youre not stable mentally physically and financially
Absolutely! your financial situation should be a factor in whether you should be having children or not. Granted if it's a surprise pregnancy by all means assume your responsibility.
Don't you just love Jeannie's honesty... What an amazing woman she is. I love all four women, of course. They are all absolutely fabulous, but Jeannine, she is unique. An absolute gem.
I have a sister who has four children and last month she couldn’t afford to buy her oldest daughter (10 years old) a new pair of shoes that she NEEDED. She has four children. The first one we understood but the other three were her choices and she relies on the family heavily because she can not afford to really take care of her children.
Great topic ladies. I agree, if you're not able to take care of yourself then protect yourself 100%. Ladies make sure you're stable in the event that something happens you can take care of the child and yourself. Public assistance shouldn't be an option; only in a tragic event!
I’ve learned from others that people end up managing if they’re not on the streets or something similar. Growing up with well off parents makes things easier but the way people talk about poor expecting parents is degrading
I grew up in poverty and yes it effects you negatively. Don't have kids if you don't have a sizeable amount in savings, a stable job, a car and a home as the bare minimum. "Love" is great but it doesn't put food on the table or a roof over their heads. I'm 26 years old and I still struggle with feeling like a burden because my mom could not afford me let alone my 3 other siblings.
I hate that people scare others out of having children because they aren’t rich. I spent less than 600$ on EVERYTHING for my first born. That 600$ got me 2 cribs, clothes from newborn to 1 year (I had so much, some were never even warn), baby bottles, 2 dressers, baby books, blankets and some shoes and more. Wana know how? Cause I looked for free stuff. Used stuff. I went to baby thrift stores. People buy BRAND new things. A crib at baby’s r us was like 700$, let alone the dresser and rocking chair that it came with. People spend 300$ on a changing table not realizing they probably won’t ever use it more than once cause when you’re tired and cooking and cleaning, you’re guna change that baby any where lol. A floor, the couch, the bed. Instead of spending 30$ on a onesie, you can spend 30$ at the thrift store and get 20. Kids aren’t cheap, but they sure aren’t as expensive as people make them out to be.
I was going to say the same. That calculation they had of 13 grand a year to raise a child? I have two kids and don't spend anywhere near that to take care of them!
Crocheting Canuck when I was working I made 10,000 (probably even less) a year. Now I’m a stay at home mom making 0$ a year as my husband is the only one working and himself even makes between 10 and 20,000 a year with 5 kids and we still get by? People need to stop looking for top dollar brand new high end stuff. Of corse new stuff isn’t bad, I sometimes like to get new things. But if I can find a used item that isn’t dirty and damaged for half the price I’m guna do it!
@@littlelucky9879 I'm the same with the used stuff. I find it pointless to buy things new if you can find something just as good used for a lot less money. I am also a stay at home mom!
Renee Hicks that’s because we live in a materialistic society and everyone wants to live like a Kardashian. But I agree with you you can make it work if you’re frugal.
There's this lady at work that stopped by at every department to ask who owns the red car that she slightly hit and want to say sorry and straightened it up. I was so happy on her honesty that I would do the same thing. I believe in karma
I am totally feeling that right now. I want to start a family so bad but I want my children to have more than I did so I’m having to wait till I’m out of college and have a job. But it sucks to see basically every one around me popping out babies left and right and not planning things out.
I’m with loni in this one. I was broke in college with my first car which was my moms old car and I backed out of the cvs parking lot and hit a car and I saw it made a dent. No one saw so I flew outta there 😂😩 but karma does exist bc a year later my car broke down on the freeway flames and everything and I was left with no car.
I agree with Jeannie. I grew up poor but we had the basics. We were clothed, fed, educated and most importantly loved. If you truly want kids and are willing to sacrifice, you can make it work. We didn't have a lot of toys, we didn't have cable and a lot of the times our meals were very basic but we were raised with so much love that we never felt poor.
Struggle is part of growing up poor, it's part of growing as a person. I got friends that had EVERYTHING growing up, they can't even handle stressful situations or strive to do better in life (they don't have to either as they're accommodated). You should be prepared financially to have a kid, but that often gets confused as carrying your child's ass for the rest of his life. There's a difference.
My family is middle class and my dad had to work 3 jobs when I was a child. We hardly ever got to see him since he worked days, nights, and weekends. I used to go with him to work on Sunday because he’s a music director and I joined his children’s choir to spend time with him. Once my mom went back to work my sis and I spent most of the day in my grandma’s care. I grew up with a lot of love but my parents, my dad especially, was honest about our family’s financial situation and struggle. I wouldn’t have a child if I didn’t have something saved up.
I’m actually struggling with this. I would love to have a child, I have a house of my own, transportation, career and marriage, everything you would assume would be sufficient for a kid. I just cannot picture being able to afford day care and still save a sufficient amount of money for myself AND the child. This is why I am holding off but I completely agree you do need to be financially stable to have a child and have serious conversations with your partner regarding the expenses
Jay P I understand. I have a great job and a house and I have one and I cannot have anymore because I cannot afford more than one in daycare at a time. The financial piece has influenced my decision to not have more.
not even only daycare, but what about school? college? future expnses? People only think on the "baby" stage but what happens when that baby actually grows up.
Olga Daniella exactly why I said don’t think I could save enough for me and the child. Savings as in for college l, emergencies, extracurricular activities they might want to partake in and etc.
I agree to a certain extent.My kids thank God they had a working parent.When I lost this they were grown but if I had not been blessed back then I'd never want them to feel like . I didn't try to give them my best or show the responsibility.
I believe it should. My parents weren't financially stable and we struggled. There was a time my mom got sick and she got ssi and we sometimes had no food to eat.
I grew up financially comfortable, I was given luxury gifts, vacations, etc. that I didn’t even ask for and my mother only did that to protect her own image and trick people into thinking she was a great mom. They didn’t know I was being severely abused behind closed doors. I would’ve taken unconditional love, safety and security over all of that.
My husband said something I had not thought about. He said, "Being poor is a disease." I thought for a moment. It affects a person emotionally, mentally and physically. He has a poor relationship with money. He asked me if I had ever been homeless or without food because he had....it's (8) siblings all together. I said no. He doesn't want to spend it even on necessary things....stingy and greedy. I've never seen an attitude about money like this before. He's improved some but it's been a struggle for him. I don't let him off the hook. Then on the opposite end I used to have a co-worker where everything had to be name brand and she would overspend on everything. She would tell me how she grew up poor with anger. My parents grew up poor, mom (7) siblings and father (6) siblings. My father was tight and my mother hated it. My mother would spend on necessity and some extra. "Til this day my mother still speaks with anger about being poor because she and her siblings had days where they went hungry and just didn't have the necessity. Her grandparents on both sides of the family would try and help out financially. What saved me is that my mom managed the family money, not my dad :) We had everything we needed. She said that she never wanted me to experience a hungry day or to go without. I never did go without. I'm an only child for a reason for the past 46 years. My daughter is my only child, 22 yrs., from a previous marriage. I was a single parent for 15 years. I had gone to school and would improve my career and pay with every move I made. My daughter never went without or hungry. I eventually bought a home in the rural as a single mother and stayed there for 10 years, 'til I remarried. I wanted to make sure she was properly taken care of. People don't have children if you are broke. It affects them in so many ways.
I love what Jeannie said about waiting to have kids until you have a "set amount" to have kids. There is no set amount. Here I am, 33 years old with no kids because I wanted to be responsible and make sure I'm financially stable enough to care for it. Unfortunately, I've waited too long. I'm struggling to conceive. And, I'm going into debt trying to pay for assistance getting pregnant with a fertility specialist. I don't have a partner. Even though I make close to $100k, I fear it's still not enough. I'm going to have to pay off my debt to have a child and still live and care for the child...on my own. But I've always wanted children. I'm just going to trust God that he will provide.
You know what I love about this show that they are minorities and they are very relatable. When Loni and Adrienne said they grew up poor living in government housing that did something.
glad I do not have kids would never have kids if I'm not financial stable. I wholeheartedly believe you should have money finance to support your kids and not put that burden on tax payer or any one else
If you can barely take care of yourself , of course reconsider the thought of having kids but sometimes life happens, so step up and take care of your responsibilities to the BEST of your ability.
Before me and my man found we were pregnant we were homeless having really bad habits no jobs and when we found out we were pregnant. I went to treatment and he got on methadone and got a job and he saved up for us 3 to rent our own place.. our daughter changed our lives now we have our own place and our own things and are sort of financially stable we make sure our daughter has what she needs first before our own selves and im greatful i had her and im very greatful we didnt split up during hard times. Shes about to be 3 years old
I'm 32 years old. I desperately want children. But I'm so afraid of having kids right now because I'm dead broke. So my dream of being a mother will never happen. But it shows I would be a damn good mother
I always said I only want kids when I’m financially stable. I ain’t putting my kids through what I went through lmao. Financially and emotionally stable.
A lot of us are saying that we grew up poor and that we were raised OK, because we had love and safety or whatever, but if I’m honest I wouldn’t mind if my mother had a little bit more money just to take stress off of her. When you’re a single parent you have to work the extra hours to make the extra money so I do wish that my parents financial plan for us instead of just allowing things”to happen”.
Me and my husband were teen parents and our son is 9 years old and we have our own place and have no gov assistances and it’s hard but we made it work.
My thing is this...SINCE THE BEGINNING of time children were born into pverty i.e. Loni and Adrienne as they just stated but u make it work! There's millionaires that aren't MENTALLY stable and i feel thats a bigger problem. Not to say depend on it but theres welfare to help with the financial ....theres bigger issues in some cases that not even money can fix.
Just cus they turn out great doesn't mean you should put them into a life of struggles. I have an aunt was 6 or 7 kids. There's 3 mattresses in the house and they barely get by. My parents who stopped at 2 kids and took in one of my cousins have to send money to them because they barely manage to get by. When it comes to things like college me n my sister are on my own because my parents are making sure other kids eat. Yet every other year we find out she's due in a few months 🙄🙄. Do you see the problem? I feel like if you love your kids your going to want to bring them in at a time where u can provide for them(more than just the bare minimum) while not being at work constantly.
Jeannie makes too many sugar coating excuses for people who make stupid decisions *sighs*" I understand what she means but it's not like that for everybody
Two years ago I decided that it was time for me to have a baby. I am a 31 year old who at the time was financially stable and was ready to star a family. I got into a relationship, and earlier this year we got married, I got pregnant in my honeymoon and by April I had a miscarriage. During that time I was relocating to another state and in the process I got hurt. In May, I found out I was pregnant again. I got to stay home the first two months but when I tried to go back to work I wasn't able to find one. I wanted this child but to tell the truth, I am struggling financially and if it would have been up to me, I would had chosen a better time. I am honored to become this child mother but I am freaking out.
