I definitely feel alone and isolated. Every time I try to talk to others about my loss, the result is I feel worse, so I distance myself. I just try to accept it as the way life is now. After almost three years, I am still very heartbroken and angry. I lost my 23 yr old daughter to Covid. She was very healthy, and died suddenly after only a few days without any warning signs.
Yes......it can be hard to know when/where/how to bring it up. To your point, if talking about it makes you feel worse, then maybe try journaling or other coping techniques.
Thank you Kelli. You are such an encouraging person. I lost my lovely wife of 51 years 108 days ago (Valentine's Day). And even though it's only been such a short time, it seems like forever. I miss her so badly every single day. I think I'm probably at a 2 at times but maybe at a 3 sometimes. It's very hard, as you know, to adjust to a new "normal" without the person we loved for so long. I talk to her every day. I don't know why, but I do. Sometimes I can hear her voice in my head answering me. I am probably my worst enemy in my recovery because I look at her pictures several times a day. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do from this point on, but your video was very helpful with your suggestions. Thank you. So sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I love that you continue to talk to her.....that's totally OK and probably helping you to come to grips with her physical absence. It's OK to look at her pictures.....as long as looking at them does not cause you to feel sad or sorrowful. If so, I would suggest to limit that for the time being so that you can give your heart and mind some time to heal. Please reach out if you want/need additional tools/support for your grief recovery: team.griefhelpchat.com/session
The first STAGE is SHOCK To me I experienced the SHOCK STAGE as being on DENIAL button to survive and being able to COPE with the Horrific and sad personal LOSS Everyone begins to step out SHOCK STAGE length Uniquely differently
Thank you! I just found you...and how I've needed this!! My son was killed in an accident 3 years ago...and my beloved mother died a year ago. I've struggled...but am always trying to find ways to heal. I so appreciate this program.
That is unfortunately a very common experience. I invite you to come join our FB group.....it is filled with people who get it. facebook.com/groups/graceforlivingafterloss
Hello, My husband passed after a month long illness I believe was cancer but so very dramatically fast. This was In June of 2023. All the chores he used to do make me cry as I do them but I do feel pride. Isolation is definitely hard. My sister is in California and we text almost daily.
thank you, i lost my only child due to covid. its been 1year and 5months but im still grieving so much, your video is very helpfull. i am from the philippines.
So sorry you lost your child to Covid. I also lost my 23 year old to Covid almost three years now, and I am having a hard time. She died suddenly without warning on the 8th day. We think it may have been a pulmonary embolism, but not 100% sure. She was always very healthy. Losing her destroyed me!
Thank you for your content, I have found it very helpful. I lost my beautiful Mum / best friend and almost a month ago. I am about at a 2 out of 10 on the scale still experiencing strong waves of emotional pain.
I lost a dear friend 8 months ago. The sadness grips at times and I feel so alone with it. He was someone I spent so much time with and his death was sudden and unexpected. I feel isolated with my grief because my family didn't realize how close I was to him. My sister even told me to take his pictures down because it wasn't healthy. I have avoided my family because they don't understand how shattered I am over his death. I spend times with friends because they understand how sad I am.
Grief recovery can be lonely work. Don’t look to others to understand or validate your journey, do what you need to find comfort and strength to move forward. We are here for you!
Hi kelly, it has been 6 yrs since i lost my son My relationship with my husband is strained. But it was not great even when my son was alive. Otherwise i have a huge social circle so healthy enough to keep me alive n energetic. But my physical body keeps loosing weight.otherwise i sleep good n eat good ,feel healthy
Hello Kelli ..sooo sorry for your beloved son loss. Just came across your coaching You are the BEST authentic coach on leading those in different stages of GRIEF & LOSS Keep going BRAVE SOUL GOD is with YOU in every breath GOD is with YOUR SON eternal LIFE of HIS SOUL … AMEN 🕯🌷🕯
I don't agree with you whatsoever that they stay away because they don't know what to say. I've had people say plenty of completely insensitive things to me after my husband dropped dead in a restaurant bathroom. I never saw it coming and wasn't just grieved. I was traumatized beyond belief. "There's a lesson to be learned here if you choose to see it." Or...."Why don't you just be happy for him?". How about that communication? The truth is that mine and other's grieving is just no fun. They are happy and just don't want to deal with what is happening in your sad life. That's the truth. The abandonment even by family reminds me of getting divorced. They don't want to talk to you or be around you because you are a 5th wheel and no longer whole. You are lesser and there is an X on your chest. This is how society views those in this situation. I am very familiar with what people do when you become divorced since I was divorced 25 years ago. No difference at all. You would have thought there was a bitter divorce here and people wanted to steer clear to avoid being caught up in it.
I'm sorry that you've not had good and helpful support around you. People often do say insensitive things, and sometimes they don't say anything because they don't know what to say. I also agree that our loss scares alot of people and they would rather not be confronted with it so its easier to avoid us. It's a hard truth. Hopefully once we go through it, we can be there for others who are now facing the pain.
@@Graceforlivingafterloss It is completely wrong and unkind to avoid the grieving. No passes. We should be lifting them up. Instead people selfishly walk away as though it could never happen to them. After my divorce I started a singles group for, basically, 40s & 50s at the very large church I belonged to. Plenty of hurting people with terrible stories came along and joined us. We welcomed and comforted them.
The purpose and focus of these videos is to control what we can control. Is it right that people are uncomfortable around us? No. Is it right that some people will walk away or distance themselves from us? No. But we cannot control other people. I’m not giving other people a pass….im trying to equip people who are grieving with tools for recovery.
@@Graceforlivingafterloss I understand the purpose. What I am addressing is the normalizing of a behaviour that didn't used to be. I am quite a bit older than you and when I was young and someone died people came. People checked on you. People cared. Now the counseling community tells the grieving to expect the world to abandon you as soon as the loved one is buried (or the betraying spouse has made a new life for themselves). That is "normal". Yes, they're doing it, but it isn't normal, good, or right and we shouldn't be acting like it is. The healing power of a hug, a visit, and a kind word for the hurting has been completely forgotten.
It is almost 3 years since the death of my husband. Today I believe I’m an 8. I have worked very hard to work through my grief. I may be at 30:53 an 8 today but tomorrow I may not be doing as well.
I lost my Wife to cancer a month ago after a 2 year battle. So just getting out in the world again is good for me but I still find it really hard to talk about it to people when they ask me about myself. I hate being stuck in the position when someone asks me about myself and the first thing I think I have to say is “Well I lost my Wife a month ago.” Then they feel bad for you or get uncomfortable . They might say “Awwwww”…..and look sad and then its hard not to get emotional. So a lot of the times I wont even mention it until much later into the conversation if at all. Im still still at the point where Im walking around pretty wounded. Just walking around the store yesterday I almost felt like I was gonna lose it because I felt so empty inside. Other times I can talk to people normally and confidently.
What your describing sounds very normal unfortunately. People don't know what to do or say and we are left to wrestle with grief ourselves. Are you getting any help for your grief recovery?
I lost my husband to suicide 8 months ago! I’m trying every day to recover! I’d say I’m at a 5 most days! I want to recover, I don’t want to remain with this level of pain for the remainder of my life! But I know it takes work to move forward! I miss him everyday!
I loss my son Steven 10 months ago. His death was devastating. I was in shock up until the 7th month and doing okay on auto pilot at an 8. Now I’m at a 3 crying often, and I have isolated myself from my family due to insensitive comments. They want to compare me to another family member who also loss a son a few years ago, but we are not the same person. I have a routine but find myself crying or angry most days. I tell ppl I’m okay but I’m not. I recently had a panic attack when my daughter left the house and I wasn’t able to reach her. Working out and reading books helped in the beginning to relieve stress. I think I need therapy but I just relocated w a new state and don’t know therapist here. I want to get back to an 8 or 10 and live again. Where do I begin? 😢 Thank you for the tips ❤
I'm so sorry that it has been so difficult. Recovering from grief and loss is one of the toughest things we will ever encounter in our lives. I would be glad to share more info about our programs that can be done anywhere as we meet online. Grab a spot on my calendar and let's chat about some options that might be helpful for you: kelli.griefhelpchat.com/call
I have a friend who’s step mom passed away 6 wks ago. She raised him since he was 5 yrs old. I don’t know what to say because when I reach out he is not responding. I have never suffered a death from a family member so I am not sure what to do. I did reach out and let him know I was hear for him and that he was loved
Keep reaching out and offer small little things. A cup of coffee, a meal, a walk. People who are grieving often have a hard time knowing what they want or need so make it easy for them to say yes. Thank you for doing the work to show up and be a good friend!
I am going through anticipatory grief as my mom is terminally ill , she has few months to year to live and top of that my boyfriend lost his both parents and he has shut completely me out , i wanted to help him but he wants to grieve alone. I respect that but my grief has now increased twice. I don't know what to do....
That is a lot at one time......we have tools and resources that can help. Grab a spot on our calendar to talk with a coach so they can point you in the direction of some tools: team.griefhelpchat.com/session
Its so common that our relationships change and the people we hoped would be there for us are either unwilling or able to support us the way we need. Please connect with us on FB if you are looking for additional support: facebook.com/groups/graceforlivingafterloss
