Growing Up In Polygamy - Women's Panel Part 1 

“If you were a God who loved his children so much, why would you make it so damn hard to get back to you?” This line of discussion was so poignant and revealing of the red flags of cults. Thanks for sharing.

As a Christian black girl who is obsessed with learning about Mormonism and it’s off shoots, the curse of Cain was not at all something I heard about until I learned about fundamentalists. This is so interesting to me

I am an earlier subscriber and Melissa you have grown so much confidence in front of the camera! You are such a natural!

Belated: I’m a masters degree educated Christian female, and I’m so thankful to be a stay at homeschooling mom and wife…BUT…my husband I intentionally **chose** that. A lot of people put pressure on me to work after our oldest was born. So the pressure can go both ways.

I was completely mesmerized by this video! You ladies have done a wonderful job of presenting the differences you met along the way. I’m 64 and I am an elder in reserve in the Presbyterian Church. My husband and I both left the church because of the small mindedness of some of the other members. It became more like a country club and less like a church. We had a lovely female minister who believed an outreach and the power of love and rehabilitation, but that didn’t fit in with some of the country club members ha ha! My husband and I both left the church and we have for some years had a dislike for organized religion. Spiritual as all get out, love me some Jesus, but can’t tolerate fake phony people who hide behind the church and are evil. I hope this will be a continuous series that you’re doing you, are all such powerful and empowering women who have worked hard to find your true self. Amanda I have followed you for a while and Sam and Melissa for a while also. I just fell in love with Joanna and Manti and I’m amazed by their story and their motivation to live their best life. Joanna I thank you for being so willing to communicate with me on Instagram, you and your husband continue to impress me and encourage me with your positivity and motivation. See old school teachers can learn! Continue this journey and if any of you need a shoulder, a mother figure, or a grandmother figure give me a shout out.

I am obsessed! So much great information I am seriously going to watch this again. Can't wait for part two!! Thank you, ladies!!❤

Oh my God! This is amazing! Please please please make this a regular monthly or 6 weekly thing! This was so so good!

I love you guys all so much! Your stories are fascinating, thank you for sharing!

PLEASE NOTE...Y'all are young...please remember WHO you are will Change...enjoy your personal growth

I’m so excited for this ❤️❤️❤️❤️

You left the LDS church? Wow, I hadn’t realized! I’d love for y’all to do a separate video on that story (if and when you are comfortable sharing :)

A friend was dating a man who was Mormon when she explained the part about marrying the dead to allow them into heaven - my questions stopped. I thought it was a cult

I'm glad there was a part 2.

What the FLDS believes about creation and the 1000 years is the same thing my independent fundamental baptist “church” taught me growing up…other than that part about the people from short creek being the faithful ones😂

I believe in God and I believe I do not have to know his real name, story or anything about him besides he’s there and I let my own connection with him grow and I’ve honestly never been happier. I’m okay with not knowing the story or background because all I know for sure is I thank him and give him all the glory but I have no specific religion just the love for God.

I can really relate to what Melissa was saying about having to step back and question if you feel a certain way because it's how you feel or if its because thats what you were taught I also have had to do this and I'm not mormón but I grew up baptist here in the south (Georgia)

Fantastic Ladies 😊😉

I couldn't move on to another channel, it's just so interesting! "Religion starts with the answer, (god), then tries to fit the evidence to match the belief. Science starts with the evidence, and follows that evidence to wherever it may lead."

Oh boy too much info I am Glad hearing all Kinda things from tribes . Humm Good job ladies for sharing

I know that this has been out for awhile, but does any of the branches teach about the recognized group of Ethiopian Jews. They saved them and brought them to Israel to save them from genocide. They are the children of Solomon and Sheba.

I'm just 8 minutes in and I'm wondering do any men wonder, that if polygamy is "the way", why do we have to lie and trick women into it???

So prison is purgatory in the Catholic faith

We do not believe in polygamy in the after life, and that is not taught as doctrine (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) - go ahead and read D&C 132, the entire thing, then read “The Family Proclamation”

I’m curious if the ladies in this video are doing anti racist work. The host saying “there’s no more racism in LDS anymore” or just minimizing it: there’s definitely still tons of racism in the LDS. Talk to exmo POC. All white ppl should be doing anti racist work. Not just the ones who are raised in outwardly racist belief system.

smart women!

Baptisms for the dead?

Hi Melissa! I'm a long-time listener and I wanted to say that I deeply appreciated your comment about trusting the geologist. I am a food and environmental chemist (I turn in my PhD dissertation next week)!! I've spent years on my research, rigorously following the scientific method and triple checking my methods, data, etc. It can be so frustrating when my family says that actually all of our work is false bc it doesn't fit into their religion. So hearing your comment meant a lot to me 💙

That’s my sister!! You go Amanda!!!

“What did I do the last time I was in [a crisis]- I listened to myself, and I got myself out” has got to be one of the simplest, most profoundly empowering words I have heard. I have ocd and inherently struggle with decision-making, but trusting myself to make decisions has been hard because my inner voice is still heavily influenced by a lifetime of indoctrination. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences!

It sounds like the LDS church used soft manipulation to keep women in their roles, while the other sects used direct pressure to keep women in line. Maybe the LDS was a more comfortable method, but it had the same outcome of keeping women in second place and subservient. I’m so glad you all opened your eyes and saw your own worth!

I found out about that D&C when I got a civil divorce. Because the church never recognized the divorce, so I couldn't remarry in the church. But my ex could because he was a guy, and because of Polygamy. So, I go really mad. So mad I just left.

I have watched your channel from the beginning and always enjoy your content. This video was especially impactful. I left the LDS church and a strict evangelical church, and realized the amount of a people pleasing I did was ridiculous, I often find their voices in my head (like Amanda was talking about) but thinking that God is watching, when those religious people and God were merged into one and the same. I had to separate that. As I've gotten older I feel less and less sure about what I know but am okay with that and feel better and more secure in who I am. Ironically, once I left, I actually felt closer to what Christ said about God and free (like you said Melissa) to truly love and learn from other people's experiences without judgment since there's not this test that everyone has to pass. Most of us are just doing the best we can with what we have, and we all have way more in common than we realize.

Interestingly, I didn’t leave the LDS church because I disagreed with it on a conscious level… I left because every time I went to church, I’d go home with a debilitating migraine.

I always wondered. If your father has a universe... and you married a man and had children... who's heavenly universe do you end up in ? Your husband's or father's? And if it is your husbands.. then isn't your father's heaven empty?

Really interesting discussion! I believe the world would be a better place if parents would teach their children how to be a good HUMAN and warn them against any kind of organized religion. All organized religions are just gaslighting operations for power, money and sex.

I love this.. ❤️ 😍 i said this in another comment section: i grew up mennonite not in old fashioned dresses but same as other people. To describe my town would be like if all 3 of you lived in the same town with the 3 religions .. similar but have your own uniqueness. Things are the way they are and you don't question it. Some things we never did growing up anyway. We were in the middle. The mennonites were started during the crusades in the 1300s so there was many break off groups. So it is also a culture thing. Finding myself was hard. Low self esteem and feeling isolated and lonely. So i can identify with all 3 of you in different ways. But im sure sickness and trauma from vehicle accidents and events in my life didn't help. Started at age 7 when i was supposed to be happy and care free. I am a true follower of Christ. But many things of being a Mennonite like traditions/ rules and regulations i don't follow. My family is multi cultural but all have similar beliefs. I knew at an early age i would not marry a Mennonite. My thoughts and ideas were to out there for Mennonites in my town; at least at the time !! At 26 i finally struck out on my own after having lived with family up til then. I needed to know what life was like on my own. I went to college knowing i would not be back. I felt like a bird let out of a cage !! I had so many things to learn. I felt so.. stupid, dumb, i knew nothing ! No cooking skill, no social skills. I had to learn how to navigate the world. Taking a bus. I am very outgoing and had to learn to speak up and ask for help. Now having a chronic illness 🤒 i really learned how to ask questions and not feel stupid for asking them. It took 6 years to find out all that was going on. If you read all this thanks for reading !! May you find peace and purpose in life.

I’m agnostic and started reading about Mormon history after Big Love came out. Whenever I talk to an LDS woman about FLDS stuff, she will reiterate FLDS is a separate religion from LDS and polygamy is horrid. And no way is she going to share her man. So I then say you better outlive your husband then. 😂 Otherwise he can remarry and get sealed to his new wife. Then when everyone dies, BOOM you are in a polygamous relationship without your consent. Then silence from her… with a death stare to her husband if he is there

I think what is kind of funny is, why can’t a black person be a descendant of the 12 tribes. There is absolutely no proof that all descendants were one color.

The idea that Jesus was a polygamist came from Brigham Young. It's in his sermons in the journals of discourses.

I’m so glad you all did this. It’s so important!

This is so fun! I love hearing how close and similar the three religions are…I grew up LDS in Bountiful and knew a Kingston, but only heard rumors that her family practiced polygamy. Wonderful job!

You are all such strong, intelligent women. I am so proud of you al for figuring out how to trust yourselves. I left the mainstream LDS church as a teen in the late 90’s and know how long it can take to unpack all the brainwashing. I’m still finding more and more patterns and beliefs that were placed in me from the religion and my parents and I haven’t been active in over 20 years.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that who so believes in Him shall have eternal life.

This episode was fantastic super engaging and educational :)

Faith is not knowing, but going forward anyway. Great conversation. 💕💞

Raising children for eternity sounds so exhausting 😅😭😬

The irony of people trying to promote their religious beliefs in the comments section of a panel of women who have left high-demand religions and/or cults... I'm not sure why people can't see how beyond inappropriate that is. Wishing somebody finds Jesus and that he's the only truth is only a couple of degrees of separation from the control Melissa, Johanna, and Amanda candidly shared with us. None of these three women would go up to anyone and tell them Jesus is the truth, whether they believed it in their soul or not, because they understand what it's like to not have the freedom to think for oneself outside the confines of black-and-white "good" or "bad" acts as outlined by religion/religious leadership. Clearly y'all aren't thinking about the context of this channel and the people behind its educational, and highly personal, content when you're spewing "Jesus is the way" content here. He may be YOUR way, he is not most people on Earth's way. And most people on Earth aren't demons because they don't pray to the same god. Edit: phone autocorrected Johanna's name, apologies!!

Looking forward to watching this in it's entirety later!

I appreciated this so much. I was pressured to be LDS, by family, but it went against everything I believed in. Now I am trying to untangle my family tree because according to Family Search it shows only one wife when personal family records show my family practiced polygamy for many years afterwards in secret. I’m hoping to untangle to web of lies so to speak.

This is such a good and interesting video even without the cult parts of it; about women and their lives. For me too divorcing after 20 years (and our Catholic annulment - which is very rare) was the best thing in some ways (other than our lovely children and my career). People don't always put a positive spin on leaving their spouse and of course it also feels like a failure but it can be the most sensible thing to do sometimes for everyone including the children sometimes and was in our case. The Catholic church has always had similar issues with change that Melissa explained about the LDS church and certainly mother expected in the 1960s after the second vatican council thought things would change like on contraception where she wanted change but they did not; yet in other areas there has been change. It took me into my late 50s before I realised I did not believe there was a God any more. However I am not against most of the mainstream religions as their essence is be good to others, rules that support families and allow people to live peacefully side by side adn there is much good in many of them. Our family has been Catholic since about 1500 years ago when Catholicism came to ancestors in Ireland and I was delighted my daughters married in church and their children have been baptised in it too as culturally that is our family and tradition (and there is absolutely no checks on you, no shunning or anything if you are most main stream Christians)

It’s crazy to hear about what each of their three groups believed. I didn’t really know much about the negative views that Mormons had about Black people. It’s crazy to think that being Black was associated with the mark of Cain. The mark of Cain was only put upon Cain himself and didn’t pass down to his descendants. Also believing that you can inherit your own planet and populate it with your own spirit children sounds like Paganism to me.

As a Christian with no known ties to any kind of Mormonism, I’m sitting here listening to y’all talk about the lists to get into heaven, and how it can’t be that hard, and I’m like… YES! You’re right. It’s Jesus. Just Jesus! He didn’t give any requirements other than to love and trust HIM. Idk your spiritual situation, but I hope you look at the New Testament alone and make your choice based on it.

Love it! Women unite!

Love this video, I love hearing the different perspectives from the different beliefs, I was raised catholic but I'm a practicing Wiccan and I find it so interesting hearing about other beliefs that people were raised with and whether they've kept those beliefs or not

I really enjoyed this and I'm looking forward to the next one!! One thing I have noticed while learning more about the mormon religion is how the times affected many religious beliefs across many religions and people latched on to those generational beliefs and took hold to them like Christ's doctrine when it was just a common belief during that time. I'm really enjoying this. Thanks for sharing!!

Being a Swede and a European. Witness this cults and sects existing in US, is almost impossible to understand how its not considered criminal, It is like the talibans in Afghanistan... Feel so sorry about the abuse and the supressive torture especially towards womans 😢

Just because someone is African or African American does not mean they wouldn’t be descended from the twelve tribes of Israel.

Either you are single or respectful towards your partner and children! I am atheist but I have values and respect for people. You do not need to be crazy cult person to have values!

1. When the body decays, how will you tell skin color? 2. When the dead body has decayed, how will you tell gender?

Whew. That idea of “heaven” sounds depressing. As a woman, if I believed that, I would feel like there was no escape, even in death.

I thought I grew up in a strict religion (southern baptist) but this is a whole different level. I’ve never even heard of most of the teachings you guys were talking about and the racist teachings especially are so crazy to me

The ironic thing is that black people are going to be closer to Jesus' ancestry than Caucasians.

Such a strong group of women!

This has been awesome. This flowed so well!

Most mainstream Christians agree that the way to come to Jesus is incredibly easy! You confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. THAT'S IT. completely boggles my mind that LDS people believe you must do good deeds for salvation.

A bit of my family is involved in the Jehovah’s Witness faith and a lot of what they teach is also fear based about the end time apocalypse. How interesting about these similarities. Thank you for sharing.

It would have been interesting to have Leah on too. To compare all 4 groups. The LDS, FLDS, The Order , and The AUB.

26min Amanda- that’s when I left the church as well (Christian non-denominational church). If there was an all loving God, wouldn’t he want his children in heaven with him regardless if they rejected him in this life?

Yes! I've been patiently waiting for this! Thank you all!

I’ve made it 16 minutes into this and I left the LDS church in 2006-ish and some of the things you are mentioning, I don’t recall ever hearing… I don’t recall the fence sitters thing. I think in the Bible God told Abraham he would be the father of everyone or everyone would defend from him. And that’s where the 12 tribes come from.

I get that chocolate was the deal breaker! 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you for the video, it was very interesting. You were talking about black people and polygamy, however I am curious - what was the attitude toward other races, like asians, pacific islanders, natives, people from Indian subcontinent? They are (I guess) not considered to be Cain's descendants, right? Also, what happens to women who for health reasons can not get married and/or have children? Like what happens with girls with developmental disorders, genetic disorders - they are not entitled to be in Heaven? What happens to infertile women - they are to tend after other wives' children?

Among mainstream Mormons growing up, I heard Christ had at least three wives.

I admire all 3 of you soooo much! You are all so beautiful...inside and out. Thank-you for this video.

Fascinating women....I am not Mormon, but I found empowerment. Thanks

Christ marriage ceremony can be found in John 2:1-5; Christ's wives can be found in Luke 10:38-42; Christ stating that polygamy is His law can be found in D&C 132:24. Christ as Jehovah revealing His law of plural marriage for the law of Moses can be found here Exodus 21:10.

This was all so interesting! Melissa- I loved hearing about your joy in science! How fun!

Three self-aware, beautiful intelligent women... great video ❤

🙋‍♀️ Hi from 🇨🇦. 👍👍 great video ladies. I'm a subscriber since almost the beginning of this channel. I have never been a Mormon. I am a Christian who has always been curious about Mormon Fundamentalists; since learning about the Bountiful BC Mormons in the 90s. Prayers for all of you and your families; as you continue your faith journey 🙏

Loved seeing the 3 different religious views! Micah Wilder wrote an amazing book that y’all should read. I would love to see him come talk with y’all.

Thank you for this. I love to hear you guys talk, even when I can't imagine what you people had going through to escape from those cults/relegions. You all are so strong.

Before being told to change the rules about blacks and the priesthood in the 70s under Jimmy Carter, the LDS taught a version of British Israelism. Bruce R. McConkie was unhappy about this, as were many other leaders because it was a compromise which would lead to other compromises and liberalization of the church. I even own an extensive collection of magazines that they subscribed to. I am referring to the publication Howard Rand operated out of Haverhill, MA, called Destiny. Joseph Smith plagiarized many ideas from British Israelism from magazines and books from the 1700s and early 1800s. Jesus and the whole house of Israel were white; darker skin came from a curse. Joseph Smith and Brigham taught that Jesus had multiple wives as did Heber C. Kimball, Joseph Fielding Smith, etc. They also taught that God came down to Earth and had sex with Mary to produce Jesus. I would also refer people to Joseph Smith's King Follett discourse for his ideas about God being a man just like we are, etc.

Really 82 wives???!!!

I was raised by a Feminist LDS mom who was raised by a single mom ( grandma got divorced due to abuse) and we were less actives due to my mom's mental health issues . How ever she took great pains in teaching me I was never less than for being a women. She taught me that women without a man who was endowed could go could go to lower level of the celestial kingdom and could still go if they kept their temple covenants . If woman married in the temple and had a husband was not righteous and they were they could still get into the celestial kingdom sans husband. When I went to recieve my endowment I took the meaning of the I will "hearken unto my husband AS LONG AS HE LISTENS TO GOD " as -I don't have to listen to my husband if he is unrighteous and doesn't listen to GOD . I was also taught that the priesthood was given to the women to receive revelation for the people they are called to serve and receive revelation for their children. Im also a midwest member so I don't know if this is hardly taught in Utah . But in the wording in the proclamation on the family the seventh paragraph last sentence" Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed." always struck a chord with me as well as my "out " of "being a mother in Zion" because our individual circumstances changed when my husband lost his job and we needed money to provide for our family after I got push back from my adopted mom for wanting to be more than a mom .. even though she was a working mom of two step children she helped raise 80% of the time as her step children's mom left the church. some of the hypocrisy of Utah LDS Members and the culture doesn't support the church handbook ,the doctrine or what christ taught in the gospels is really preying heavily on my mind lately.

I'm late to the video but loving it!! Thank you, Melissa, for being so respectful of speaking your truth while not bashing the LDS church. I've had many negative experiences and yet so positive. Unfortunately, it's varied ward to ward. I wish more wards were as loving and open as the one I'm currently in. One thing I believe as a member but doesn't fit into the church narrative is years ago I watched the Robin Williams movie What Dreams May Come. Since watching it, there is little doubt in my mind that's what the afterlife is about. I don't think our loving heavenly father punishes those that hurt so badly that they commit suicide the way it shows in the movie, but everything else about the movie resonates with my soul as the way it is.

Oh my gosh! I relate so much to the not knowing. I was raised fundamental baptist and it was all a lie. So when I left the uncertainty caused so much anxiety that I’m still dealing with today.

Firstly just want to say I admire you guys very much. Secondly, how could these dudes of European descent say they’re related to Christ when they don’t have a shred of Jewish DNA? That they’re ‘grafted in?’ Doesn’t even make any sense. Jesus was an Israeli Jew, and these people can be identified by their dna. Also very weird for me to hear people of European descent from the FDLS refer to others as Gentiles, because in the biblical sense it refers to non-Jews. Anyways, I’m so glad you ladies often speak out on your experience. I’m from the Deep South and was raised Episcopalian (Christian) so it’s all very interesting. Thanks for making this issue of women’s rights (and child labor as well) more visible to people like me that have never been exposed to this sort of thing. I don’t have a lot of money, but if you’ll share non profits or charities you know to be reputable, I would be so happy to donate to help people that have either been exiled from their communities or willingly left.

I love what Amanda says about why would an all-powerful, loving God make it so difficult to get back to him. She is so right because actually what scripture tells us is that it is not hard. It plainly says in the New Testament that if you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Savior and that he rose again you will be saved. She was right when she said Jesus is the church. It's good to gather together, have a community, have support, have a place to try to keep encouraged in this tough world, but actually what is required to be saved (return to God) is simple. All the other things God tells us are actually for us but don't save us.... Either for us to remember something He has done, for us to be free from the negative effects of sin, etc. This was why Jesus spoke against the religious leaders at the time. They missed the point of any law God had ever set in place and instead of seeing that the law pointed to their need for a Savior, they allowed the law to feed their own self righteousness. Any religion that tells you that you are saved by your works miss the point. It's by grave and faith alone. When a person realizes what God has done, they can't help but be kind, love others, want what is right, etc. But those things don't bring us back to a Holy and Perfect God.

Thanks so much for this women’s panel. I’m only part way through, and wondering if you have an idea how ridiculously sexist all this sounds to someone from the outside. Why do women need a man to bring them to heaven? Why? Why do women need to eternally be breeders, even in heaven? Do they believe pregnancy and childbirth is really necessary in the spirit world? In my understanding, the spirit world means no more physical bodies…..just spirits. Also, why is polygamy a necessity in order to be righteous or worthy ? Why would God care so much about men having sex with multiple partners? Did they ever explain this to you all? Even with the mainstream LDS, why can’t a woman get into heaven without a man? Sorry to be so blunt and I really don’t mean to offend anyone, I just can’t wrap my mind around such blatant sexism and would like to understand the explanations they gave you. To me, it seems like a few earthly men simply wanted to have sex with multiple girls and women, and decided to create a religious story in order to justify their physical desires. ….and more importantly to convince women to accept it. But I look forward to hearing what the religion’s explanation is for this. Thank you!

From a strictly clinical point of view the underlying motivation for Warren Jeff I sociopath. An absence of conscience empathy compassion with an accompanying desire to dominate and humiliate. In other words an underlying viciousness. The more I hear about him the more shocked and sickened I feel. My heart goes out to his countless victims. I'm somoved by your efforts to counteract the harm he's inflicted on so many people. It helps anyone harmed by a controlling conformist religion thank you so much for your service and love.

John 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you. He that believeth in Him that has sent me, hath everlasting life & shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death to life ❤️

Young intelligent women you all have the ability to connect with what is spiritual and right for you! Trust what is coming from your center(it doesn't come in words from your brain). Almost all organized religion in our time is an attempt to control women, even marriage(man made). In Ancient times the goddess was revered. Women choose whose genes move into the future. Many men have been and cont to be treatened that women have this power. Women choose the future. All young women need to hear this and understand the impact and power of their lives.

I am currently reading “ This is My Doctrine” by Charles Harrell. It is a great study on where LDS doctrine originated. I recommend it for LDS members to find out FACTS of where the doctrine/teachings come from. P.S. After 65 years of highTBM life, I’m seeing a therapist specifically for my cognitive dissonance. What a ride!!!

That is why the Bible is the truth....it is easy. Jesus came to overcome the law. Belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, is the only way to heaven!! Man made rules are just that....man made laws.

You should talk to a former church of christ member: very fundamentalist. Best people you will ever know, like the Mormons ive met.

Are you all sharing as a warning and saying Mormon religion isn't good, or just the way you were raised to believe wrong beliefs, but Mormon religion is the way to believe?

I literally never wanted to end! I could listen to you women talk for hoursssssss! I can’t wait for more. Good job Melissa for carrying a video of your ownnn! Amanda and Johanna are so easy to vibe with. ❤️❤️❤️

I would love to hear someone with experience in the LDS talk about general roles. In my limited knowledge it seems like members stay because there is always a place for them, like it's literally assigned. I can see the comfortability in that. Also, it seems, all the answers are given to you so absolutely. There is very little debate or discussion about differing views. That's just my assumption, I would love to hear your take.

Good job girls hi from Sweden 🇸🇪

I always think it’s weird that men could become a God… like would they be as powerful as the OG God. Lol