ORIGINAL UPLOAD DATE: May 25, 2012 Continuing their journey to the VCR repair shop, Mike and Jay take a break to discuss the latest Hollywood flops Battleship starring Johnny Depp and Dark Shadows starring Rihanna.
Sometimes I like to rewatch these old RLM videos from before Mike's slide into alchoholism. His youthful face and demeanour remind me of a time when the future seemed like something to look forward to.
Right!! Like, these bastards "successfully" made a movie about a freaking board game! It's better than some video game movies! It's actually kind of impressive.
At least it is more honest than some other propaganda films - join the Navy all the soldiers are morons and you'll end up missing limbs or bored and giving tours on retired ships!
15:15 holy shit mike is so on point. My dad was looking for pirates of the Caribbean at blockbuster and just rented a movie called PIRATES with the same font and poster aesthetic. It was porn, straight up porn shown in front of my cousins. All we saw was ass crack and ballsack. Never seen my dad run so fast towards the remote.
That movie is kind of famous because it was originally shot as a porno, but they also made an R-rated version that was just the same movie with the sex scenes edited out because they decided that the production values, writing, and acting were good enough to stand on their own. I keep meaning to watch the edited version to see how it compares to most B-movies. I think the original title was PIRATES XXX, and the edited was just PIRATES, so your dad rented the edited version. Lots of nudity, but not _technically_ porn.
When I first saw this review years ago, and heard Jay's "I want Battleship out of my head!" and then Mike's "Lord, why have you forsaken meee??....... AAAAHHHHH" I remember laughing so hard I had to pause the video to wipe the tears off my face. I remember it being one of the hardest times I ever laughed in my life. It still makes me laugh, these guys are fucking comedic geniuses.
Oof. I agree, it was a somewhat funny bit but, not rofl material. They are definitely clever, witty and talented but, idk if I would call them comedic geniuses. All of the guys are superb entertainers though and I’m glad you enjoy their work.
The thing about Battleship is that the aliens are the good guys. They followed the signal from earth, their comm ship crashed, and they did what every force would do - secure a perimeter, disarm the obviously hostile natives (seriously. Their second action was a warning shot that missed their ship by a meter), and then re-establish communication with their home.
The movie also goes out of its way to point out the aliens don't attack unless weapons are being actively being pointed at them, they where not aggressive, they only attacked when they where at risk. But I don't think the writers where going for that, they didn't want the aliens to be the good guys being attacked by overly hostile humans. I think the writers where just terrible and wrote stupid enemies. They needed a reason why the obviously superior aliens with weapons that are way better then ours don't just come for whatever they came for and absolutely destroyed anything in their way. So they made the aliens motivations really stupid
I always tell people that Battleship is a cinematic masterpiece. It’s just so dumb that it’s entertaining and funny. I laughed a lot. It’s worth watching. I’m glad Mike also enjoyed it.
Although I like Beetlejuice more, I think Edward Scissorhands is *the* Tim Burton movie as far as defining his aesthetic. You've got the Gothy McQuirkson vs. the candy-colored banal parody of "normal" people contrast that stayed a fixture of what we perceive as Buronesque films now.
I would argue that batman returns is were it all began for Tim Burton. Still one of the best looking Burton movies. Though Edward Scissor Hands is the high water mark of his career because the move works so well. Honestly it is a master piece.
I remember going to Universal Studios, and they said that they had a trilogy of board game-based films set up, starting with Battleship, and ending with Monopoly and Candyland. Then Battleship came out...
+richard mattocks Yeah, Michael Caine talked about it in an interview, it's a British thing where most of the older British actors from the 70s and 80s had trouble getting reliable work so they just took every job they could get, that's why you get guys like Sean Connery staring in movies like Zardoz and The Avengers or Malcolm McDowell doing Caligula and low budget video games before video games were respectable. There wasn't as much of a stigma back then if actors did shitty movies. These days though its a lot easier for actors to get typecast if they do too many steamers.
+TheRhinehart86 Yeah, it is a bit sad to see these fine actors in crap movies these days, just look at Robert De Niro. But at the same time, acting is their job, and you gotta pay the bills somehow. Luckily, actors like Neeson, De Niro, John Travolta and Gary Oldman have already cemented their film legacy, so people will forget shit like "The Big Wedding" or "Child 44", but will remember "Raging Bull" and "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy".
"Man, Liam Neeson will literally do anything if you offer him enough money... or any amount of money?" Yeah it' alsmot like being an actor is an actual job...
I watched Battleship on my friends Netflix account while using my neighbors wifi. In that specific scenario that cost me no money I enjoyed it. If I had spent even a dollar though I'd have been pissed off.
Also the door they open inside have the hinges on the opposite of the door they opened outside. My immersion in this movie reviewing show is completely ruined.
Don't mistake this as me trying to defend Tim Burton in any way, but I feel like Mike and Jay need to rewatch Big Fish because they seem to have forgotten that it's a Tim Burton movie.
I think we all did. It was one of the rare cases where he made something good that felt original and not just another on-brand exercise. Big Eyes was the only other recent film to really fit that mold.
The original "Dark Shadows" was a neat little period series, unique in its time, and with a delightfully creepy theme song. This movie... what the hell?
Late to party. I just saw Battleship for the 1st time and wanted to watch RLM's reaction, but THE SCRATCHING IS DRIVING ME INSANE! I am glad Mike liked it though and since I dont give two shits about Dark Shadows, I'm checking out.
Sinstar Ridley quite sure that's intentional. it's so blatant. that and the fact the unit they are in physically can't exist in the location shown from outside. but whatever. well done.
Dark Shadows has a big plot hole. Basically Johnny Depp's character is an only child. He, his Dad and Mom leave England and settle in America. When Depp's parents are killed he is still an only child. He falls in love with a woman but the Witch kills her and curses him to be a vampire before they have kids. Then he is buried for 200 years. When he is freed from the grave and returns to the house in 1970 literally there are people living in it saying they are his descendants. But he had no children and was an only child himself so they could not be descended from him of his families descendants. So the plot and movie could never take place
You know what Tim Burton is REALLY good at? Opening credits sequences. Planet of the Apes, Beetlejuice, Charlie of the Chocolate factory- a lot of his films just have really great openers
Damn that "what weapons?. All of them" line was dumb. In this universe do captains need to say "take your hand and wrap it around the gun that was placed into your hand! ensure a finger is on this part (shows on their gun)" etc.
No joke, the only other time I've ever heard dark shadows be referenced by anybody in the history of ever was when I was much younger and I was watching an episode of King of Queens.
11:51 - Actually, a "high powered laser" would be a viable way to send a (highly directional) signal. But it still wouldn't look like a white beam (which indicates the beam is wasting its power lighting up the atmosphere, instead of passing through it). At most you'd see a very faint monochrome beam. More likely, it wouldn't be a visible wavelength at all.
This movie excludes one huge demographic, and I’m shocked you guys didn’t see it. The Taliban/Al Qaeda. They alienated a huge audience with this movie; that’s why it flopped obviously.
The guys missing his legs is LTC Greg Gadson. i may have misspelled his last name its been over a decade. He was the Battalion Commander for 2/32 FA. lost his legs on our unit's 1st deployment to Iraq
I couldn't stand Dark Shadows, even though my wife really likes it...but Battleship is totally a guilty pleasure for me for some reason...I've seen it like 6 times. When every it comes on tv I will turn it on a me maybe have a nap.
I've been hesitant to watch a lot of the more recent Tim Burton movies with Depp because they mostly just seem to blur together, I can just feel the over saturation. But I did enjoy Dark Shadows as a harmlessly amusing movie. I am particularly fond of "fish out of water" humor depending on the context of it, stuff along the lines of him reacting to the TV will usually make me smile every time. I think "What's eating Gilbert Grape" will always be my favorite Depp movie though.
i enjoyed Dark Shadows but not enough to own it after seeing it once. if i may be a douche, i'd like to point out that Dark Shadows was a Johnny Depp project and not Tim Burton. Burton really just directed the movie as a favor to Depp
I loved “dark shadows” I feel like it’s been so hard to see since then. I think it just did so bad. I liked the story and the look. 🤷♀️I really liked it
