Half in the Bag: Moonfall 

I thought for sure that they were going to hard cut to Breen saying that exact same line of dialog.

Haha... Yes! 🤣 👍

Wait so for a split second you forgot you paid for a ticket to see moonfall and just assumed you were watching a different movie? Because you might have dementia

@@paperbagman8913 I have great memory, I’ll have you know! I still remember fondly Yoda’s little butt dance in front of Luke from TLJ.

If only.

IT's like that scene from Independence Day, where the fire is swallowing everything in the tunnel, and everyone's favorite pet Retriever is running in front of the all encompassing Hollywood fireball. Then that Black Women pulls the Retriever safely inside a service tunnel in the nick of time and the fireball ( combusting all oxygen in the tunnel) inexplicably passes safely on by the dog and Women seemingly bc they are a couple feet inside the door. That's not how fire works, that's not how physics work (that's not how ANYOFTHISWORKS!) cheesy Hollywood hack.. Lol

Wood absolutely can cancel gravity. My wooden shelf holds all my junk despite the gravity of the entire Earth pulling it down, and the moon has only 1/6th the gravity of the Earth, so... Oops, I forgot to put "Well, ackshually..." at the beginning. 😜 In all seriousness, the scientific accuracy in this movie, in fact all Roland Emmerich's movies, makes Star Wars look like a documentary. 🙄 I mean a white dwarf _inside the moon?!_ How did it get there without anyone noticing? It would have more gravitational pull than the sun! Not to mention white dwarfs shrink when their mass increases, so one small enough to fit inside the moon would likely be beyond it's Chandrasekhar Limit (~1.4 solar masses), and would immediately explode in a Type 1a supernova. Also if the moon approaches Earth too close, when it hits the Roche Limit it would be torn up by Earth's gravity and become a ring system. Not before superheating the atmosphere with all the debris that does impact the Earth, so we'd all be cooked way before it _scraped_ the Earth... 🤓 Kurzgesagt already made a video about this unlikely scenario. So this is the first blockbuster movie to be ripped off of a RU-vid video, and it still managed to get it wrong.

Gravity, like fire, can't pass through a door. It's not a ghost, stupid. Come on!

That shed was made out of a wood-like nanobot material, each bot is equipped with "Counter Gravity" Core generators created by the super-mega-hype advanced humans.

@@Mauther Aliens also can't get through doors, the Moon's gravity is alien to Earth, so it checks out.

When they remake the sequel trilogy I really hope Steven does that line instead of Marc haha

I was thinking the same exact thing!

it has the same energy as "Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked." but is delivered by a child and makes way less scene.

@Banni chill, I meant the line in the opening, it's kinda sudden if you picked up past the first episode, but it's a better line in a better show. I guess I should say they are going for the same vibe

Repent to Jesus Christ “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10:24-25‬ ‭NIV‬‬ J

Or pointing the magnetron of a microwave at someone.

I think she just pulled out the wrong prop, and nobody noticed except the FX artist. It's not like anyone working on that show knows the difference between a tricorder and a phaser.

Hey guys, what’s EMP? Can someone spend a couple seconds explaining what EMP is for me because I need to be told what EMP stands for and what EMP means. /s

@@steverogers7601 emotionally mislead persons

@@steverogers7601 Electro magnetic pulse, think of it like a bomb for electronics

and we are "blessed" with all of the "benefits"

It’s like that video where they play music from an old dude with alzheimer’s past and he lights up and starts talking.

@@ManwithaCat He's making as many episodes as he can to take care of his family!

That's because his brain is practically rotted out from B-movies and booze. Now only Star Trek bits of it remain. And for that, we are all truly grateful.

When Mike talks about Star Trek my dog barks.

Seriously. RLM has saved me countless hours of time so I don't waste it on having to watch terrible movies and TV shows.

Indeed.

yeah, i also used to watch Nostalgia Critic and now am embarrassed of that fact.

They really do watch horrible movies and shows so we don't have to. Especially Rich. Poor, poor Rich.

That sounds oddly similar to the Nostalgia Critic motto...kids, remember the Nostalgia Critic? He was relevant like...10 years ago.

That would have made the movie better.

"Welcome to Earff"

Perfect

TBH, the moon never made contact with earth. It was about 100 miles up.

Give him an award, followed by a slap.

The fact that *anyone* is alive or Earth even exists when there's a fucking STAR (inside the Moon) about 400 times closer to Earth than the Sun is is even more ridiculous. A white dwarf isn't as luminous as a star like the Sun but its still really massive.

This actually sounds fun

Nah he wouldn't transition into making real life documentaries

That could actually be very entertaining

@@grandspringdale1564 He is tasked with defending the two last straight frogs on earth

this is a scarily plausible concept

I think both "Frost" and "Pegg" got stuck in the transporter at the same time a la "Tuvix" ST VOYAGER

@@jamesbaxter9150 so, Frogg?

@@emeritus666 Simick Frogg

Sick Pest

I still don't know the actual name of that not-Ed Harris guy in Avatar.

My mom loves bad movies too. Except she just doesn't know they're bad movies. She just loves stuff like moonfall, the meg and total rampage. I'm sorry for your loss.

@@TheJas20 Love it! And thank you, I appreciate the kind thoughts!

Did your parents watch Shark Exorcist together?

@@sir0nion I'll have to ask my pops.

She sounded like a damn fine woman.

Someone needs to do a study in this. My dad, who is in his 70s, fucking love big dumb disaster movies.

@@SniperZaku maybe because all the CGI is still a novelty to them?

please define old, wanna know if I am in the "old" demographic now

Define "old"...average RU-vid user is like 25...

@@SniperZaku It's always disaster movies and "Olympus Has Fallen" style action movies. Big time dad movies

or they have to outrun will smith in an SUV

Suv? why need that when you can just jog away

Suv? why need that when you can just jog away

@@stefanmarinkovic1229 Nah, jogging is for POOR people, but WINNERs drive STUPID UNWIELDY VEHICLES

I'd absolutely pay to see nuclear missiles in SUVs.

Good!

@@supermot34 which part of that was good?

@@jac4026 The part where western filmmakers won't have to make their movies worse to pander to the Chinese market. RLM once did a joke where Mike calls up China and asks them to stop watching our movies because it's making us make bad movies.

@@jac4026 The part where the chinese audience stops ruining our movies. They already make enough shitty movies on their own, no meed to spread their shit to us.

@@supermot34 It was an old Half in the Bag, they talked about Edge of Tomorrow, Deliver Us from Evil and Transformers 4. The joke was specifically aimed at the latter, for obvious reasons.

Underrated comment.

Wow, perfect analogy.

Man I'd kill to have my career "fail" like Roland Emmerich. Most of his movies suck but they've grossed billions of dollars

@@joereno955 yeah the guys filthy rich lmao

I'd love to have a disaster career where you can still command $150 Million budgets to produce crap.

RLM is the best justification for RU-vid's existence

*best channel on RU-vid

Actually good content on RU-vid.

I would argue best RU-vid channel, also they do more than just movie reviews.

Yep they havent improved even a bit lol jk

Stop giving them ideas.

he sounded like a disappointed parent. Our yellow, middle aged Son

@@vrika4280 like alot bigger bigger than the death star

That is perfect!🤌

I thought this when they brought up mooncrash, like, can you really make a mockbuster of a film that's not even blockbuster??

See: Blubberella

I dunno, I kinda got the same feeling from 2018's "The Predator," complete with sequel-bait at the end.

@Ivan Zhao like what kind of subversive messaging?

I always enjoy when Mike goes full space nerd mode

If you wanted to build a futuristic solid Dyson sphere around an entire solar system, you'd need to mine dozens of solar systems to even meet the required amount of material. If you can do that, you are already essentially God.

@@BigTylt Totally solid dyson spheres are kind of just a scifi meme. Not only materially and structurally unfeasible compared to a swarm but you lose the utility of having the individual habitats be able to move around relative to each other. Anyways IIRC Isaac also has a video where he maths out roughly how many Oneil cylinder size habitats could be built if we deconstructed the entire solar system, the number was in the BILLIONS Earth's mass converted into habitats would yield literally millions of times the living area because most of Earth's mass is "wasted" providing gravity. Whereas an orbital only needs a few meters of earth/ice in its shell to protect from radiation, and the gravity is from rotating. Basically human populations will be in the quadrillions before we start worrying about running out living area. Ill try to find that video and report back.

@@BigTylt In true Isaac Arthur fashion the video is called "Let's Dismantle the Solar System!"

He almost instantly started talking about Star Trek! It was his revenge!

@@DmitryChmelyov One might say... The Revenge of Khan...? I'll see myself out

That was like a direct attack; I was so scared for Jay's safety

@@Hemostat Don’t worry, Mike will sic some Ghoooosts on Jay through his copy of the Necronomic he stole from a yard sale.

Lack of awareness does not constitute a deflection

agreed. that laugh is as infectious as the plague

Rich Evans should be in every video

Rich Evens may not be in every video, but he is always in our hearts

You must have turned the video off before the final iine of the video, where in the unexpected plot twist Mike reveals that he was, in fact, Rich all along.

Rich would've pointed out yet another thing doing the "Killer robots from an advanced civilization reminiscent of Mass Effect" like he did with Picard.

Who left the fridge open?

Here we go again… _again_

side-graded

Humans Stronk 💪

His depiction of gravity was entirely wrong. The Earth is way more massive than the moon, it doesn't matter how close the moon gets, it will never be enough to overcome the Earth's gravity. It's like saying a VW Beetle could pull a fully laden 18 wheeler semi-trailer truck as long as the Beetle used a short cable.

Well yeah, I mean gravity only propagates at what, speed of light maybe? easy peasy.

I've seen people run away from their own body odour. Try, anyways.

Everything Everywhere All At Once looks like the most pretentious, navel gazing, insufferable, feel good smaltz nightmare of ALL TIME. It's probably a good movie and nothing like that, but those trailers gave me eye cancer.

@@charlottecorday8494 it's pretty good. Not my personal kind of movie but it was good

@@charlottecorday8494 Its a little schmaltzy at the end, but incredibly complex and original. I'd recommend it.

You have to admit a review of Moonfall is probably going to be the most entertaining out of those.

Because it just came out on digital. They just dont care about going to movie theathers anymore (as most people since the pandemic)

I, too, remember Gravity and how casual they were doing everything.

There it is! That's how you pun, baybayyy!

get out

I know it's a joke, but holy shit it annoys me to no end how disrespectful every single portrayal of NASA people are in any form of media. Have you ever listened to real astronauts? They're fucking immovable, professional, and cool as a cucumber. The audio from Apollo 13's disaster is incredible; they're calmer about their O2 tank exploding than most people are when their pop tart's too hot. They're absolutely not casual and careless like movies make them out to be, and it's so upsetting to see pioneers of the modern age be portrayed as such.

@@Sky_Guy But they do chit chat. Of course they do; some of the EVAs are 10 hours duration. It doesn't interfere with important comms because, like you say, they know their shit inside out. They're portrayed poorly because the target audience are rubes who hate science and "elitists" and therefore have to be fed such things with the honey of base populism. (astronauts aren't elitists, they'd live in a cardboard box if it meant going to space some time) The difference in the portrayal of the astronauts compared to the miners in "Armageddon" is the perfect example of this phenomenon.

If you don't move the gravity can't see you.

That explains common logic.

To be fair to Emmerich, the position of the body does have an effect, like in moon phases.

That's why Wile E. Coyote isn't affected by gravity until he looks down.

duh. that's why i have to strap myself down whenever i sleep so i don't float away.

It's part of the "One Galaxy" policy.

@@abelq8008 not enough recognition

Drilling’s in your heart. In your blood. You gotta be able to feel it.

I liked this post because I played Mass Effect 2, but I've never beat it or played the other games. I just don't want anyone to claim I'm a poser.

And Not Simon Pegg chose blue.

Never played it. Which color ending was that?

I'm STILL mad.

Except it wasn't really a star child. It was an AI construct that just happened to look like the same kid Shepard saw. Which I still think was in Shepard's head, no matter what Bioware says. Was still 100x better than this movie.

The new Disney product as advertised during the Academy Awards’ “Best Animated Feature” segment

well, that's what they are, like pretty much every hollywood blockbuster for the past 20 years

respect and appreciate

@@frankmerker630 I was really bummed that The Mitchells vs. The Machines lost to Encanto. I thought Encanto was just so generic where Mitchells was a really thought out script.

Why?

I can’t believe Big Tuna hasn’t made him the spokesperson yet. They are missing out on tens of purchases

he would have but now that he's a humanoid he's above that.

WE'RE ON THE VERGE OF MIND HACKING!

hahaha, yup. Steam-rolled right over it.

I can't believe they still think the moon landings were real...

Rolled off like a dunked pinball

Scotty's appearance in TNG is memorable.

@@johnnymittle As soon as they said Dyson Sphere I knew that episode was going to be mentioned.

Hahaha

It's depressing to me that there are people who would notice this. No offense, they're just all the same.

His brain has proper priorities in regards to what's more important.

Man that sounds way more interesting and thoughtful

@@ninjaturtlefan2003 the first half of the book is packed with some really great sci fi ideas. The second half of the book is… a lot less great. Stephenson doesn’t do endings well. He just sorta keeps writing and then things just stop.

Well...hopefully we'll still get a SnowCrash in the next few years?

Hopefully the end of the movie is just a short epilog. Idk I loved Seveneves 😍

I love Neal Stephenson and I completely agree he doesn't know how to wrap it up. I've read The Baroque Cycle, Diamond Age, Reamde and Anathem. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to read Cryptonomicon and lose interest. I would love to see an adaptation of The Baroque Cycle but that would be pretty ambitious.

It's always about race with you people.

If it's a Dyson Sphere designed by some super advanced species with control over gravity I'd see that as the least concerning thing

And a white dwarf that small doesn't exist because it would instead collapse in on itself to become a black hole.

I didn't realize Peter Dinklage was in the moon

yeah the moons gravitational force somehow increases exponentially because it has a white dwarf inside it, but it always had that white dwarf and they would have noticed that by now.

wheaton has been such a shill for them it's hilarious to see him left out in the cold like this

@@gunsbulletsheroin His interviews are so cringe. His phony excitement is just revolting.

I felt bad for him, imagine having to watch that in rehearsals and all the old names fade in and you're no where to be seen. It seems like who ever is in charge doesn't want him anywhere near the new run of the show, hell they probably offered him the hosting gig as a gag and he accepted. Its like this whole thing is a drawn out joke at his expense.

@@Holesale00 I don't feel bad for him at all. I'd be ecstatic not to have my character's legacy destroyed unlike all the other TNG characters.

@@michelle_pgh The legacy of Wesley Crusher.

Wow didn't expect you here Isaac

I would sell a kidney to see a "Isaac Arthur + Mike Stoklasa talk about nerd shit" collab. Pretty please???

@@GalanThings Old fan of the Star Wars & Trek movies reviews they did :)

You mean AI deepfake CGI

Very soon actors will start to sign post mortem contracts

It was before he died, unlike his appearance in "Through Doohan's Eyes."

I thought it was dumb he explained it. But yeah or he could died and movie came out after. I rather see him sing with Tupac lol

Did you get your copy signed before he passed away?

@@reginaldsafety6090 I send it to him, but unfortunately, he died right after that. It was really a weird coincidence. I wanted him to answer my question why he didn't appear in any other movies after that anymore. But I guess actors are just a very picky lot.

"... of a little-known movie Through Dead Eyes." Little known?? It's the 2nd best known film in Rwanda!! (RLM callback)

That’s the look of a man who was not chosen by the Bozoputer

I hope he's either very long or very rich

Good for you.

Sorry for your loss

I know, it's cute.

I think it threw him for a loop when Mike started smashing the keyboard against the screen and keys started flying everywhere.

If they expertly photoshopped Rich Evans’ laughing face onto the moon then I would absolutely see Moonfall

Coincidentally Moonfall also stole a line of dialogue from Crimson Tide when one character says “God help you if you’re wrong” and the other guy says “If I’m wrong then God help us all”

How dare you not put Down Periscope on that list.

I misread that as K-9 and it brought back all sorts of memories lol

This comment felt really spooky to me.

But true.

Quick, get Zak Bagans on this!

1:34 Thats what James and Maso said about Geostorm when it came out 5 years ago

mark fisher smiling

Was that for real? I couldn't find a source of that.... it was incredible!

Imagine being such a shill for a franchise you were actually in Edit: damn I didn’t even see that he’s not in season 3 of Picard. That’s fucking hilarious

43:10 for reference

@@swans184 Wah wah.

The EMP thing is great bc it would NOT knock out a person...but it does electronic equipment. So the only logical explanation for that scene is that the poor man had a pace-maker and they just fried it causing the man to go into cardiac arrest and, yes, effectively knocking him down...probably for good, since no one provides any medical aid.

@@b14luar Even if an EMP did affect humans, I’m pretty sure it would still be lethal since brain activity and the heart run on electrical signals.

No timetravel tho...which is why this movie SUUUUUUCKS!

and how the whole "subconscious kid exposition dumping" was nicked from ME3?

Actually, I wouldn't put it past Roland Emmerich to literally put a giant face on the moon that reveals itself on the dark side of the moon as it turns around and crashes into earth grinning. I'm sure he'd at least contemplate it.

But before that, it was the plot to that episode of Pinky and the Brain where Brain becomes a teacher for disadvantaged inner-city youths in order to move the moon closer to the Earth, which would somehow let him take over the world, and of course to do a Dangerous Minds parody in the process. Much more enjoyable than watching Moonfall and also a lot quicker.

@@barbutahelmet8966 EXACTLY.

I thought he slapped her and knocked her all the way to the moon in that?

“SNAP OUT OF IT!”

@terrylaze74 And you can shoot on me waiting for you in the parking lot!

And Moon, the movie where Sam Rockwell makes out with himself I think.

Damn, you're right. Moonstruck is a better title than any of these.

I saw the ad on this very channel a few times. Oh the irony.

I never got that from the trailers.

Aye it was pretty odd, I didn't even realise Halle Berry was in the film until this video.

To be fair after Brexit and with that straw-haired gammon in charge the world perceives us as a nation of ignorant xenophobic little Englanders who hiss and claw at anything remotely foreign and not reeking of eel pie.

They 100% did this. I haven’t seen the film and never will, but I can tell from the way Mike and Jay describe it that it’s completely different from what that advert was selling.

While in reality, you also watch movies from the british colonies. As long as they're white and speak English.

Im in the US and the trailers I saw focused on him as well from what I remember

I had no intention to watch this but now you sparked my interest.

... What?

@@walterhoward5512 they hid from gravity in a shed. Everyone knows you can counter the effects of gravity by hiding in a shed.

@@michaelgj23 Of course. Silly me.

If gravity can't see you, it doesn't exist

I'm pretty sure if you could somehow get an EMP device to precisely shut down the human body, you would be killing him and not just "knocking him out"

Also, there's that idea that because the moon is up in the sky, it's just waiting to fall down given the slightest nudge.

I love how a $140M scifi plot could have been completely disassembled if they'd asked an Astronomy undergrad "so what do you think?". I mean uhhhhhhh--- the alien nanotechnology strengthened the moon's structure to keep it from breaking apart obviously. 🧐

You...I like you.

For the "real" moon. Not the spaceship moon. Duh.... 😆

Overtime, not immediately. Plus the moon IS breaking apart.

Stoklaskasatz

I just watched that tng episode

Dude, just go watch Kurzgesagt. They have episodes on Dyson spheres and even the very plot of this movie.

Release or invite Science Man once again. He sure did a great number on the Terminator time line as I remember.

Basically a scifi version of drunk history.

**Brandishes a patented ACME Star Trek EMP people knocker-outer** Whadjoo say 'bout Petard?

@@NCRRanger7753 it sucks.

@@trazyntheinfinite9895 Imma tell Alex Kuntsman and he'll pull your eyeball out! Will Wheaton will then turn you inside out with cringe!

science & technology is literal magic to writers. It can/cant do whatever the plot needs

I came when I saw the notification xD

Nope. Just do the math comparing the density of a white dwarf to the moon's density etc and then calculate the diameter via spherical volume formula. Maybe I miscalculated but i got that the diameter of the white dwarf should be aproximatly 60 meters/200 feet in order to have the same gravitational pull as the moon. So this one actually seems to check out!

@@MaxMustermann-zr6kf That isn't how electron degenerate matter works (what white dwarves are made of). The radius of a white dwarf is indirectly tied to its mass, and a smaller radius means increased mass. A white dwarf smaller than the moon would have more mass than the sun.

Mike become Rich but without evans

For real, it was very clearly an absolute stinker but I had a great time watching this. Very fun an entertaining, but overall a very bad movie in terms of story and things just making sense lol

They did this intentionally, and it had some WTF moments like when the rocket is taking off and surrounded by the tidal wave. Frankly, it's so ludicrous it's cool - where else are you going to see crazy stuff like that other than in video games?

my only regret was watching it alone and having no one to riff to but myself

I checked and you are very close

Pretty sure it’s like, far larger than that. Like a hill into a spoon. I know the density of a neutron star is like compressing Mount Everest into a tea spoon

"It's so good, it sucks more then Moonfall!" - Dyson Marketing Team, Probably.

And sucks like an Electrolux

Oh you cheeky bastards... get some likes.

Transformers: the movie is pretty close (and it's got the touch)

Miles Dyson blew himself up in the Skynet building in 1994

"Can someone tell the audience what I'm looking at here"

“What’s all this churning and bubbling? You call that a radar?!” -Dark Helmet

Sounds like something out of a Bruce Willis movie.

All the suppressed anger caused by the star wars prequels/sequels hade made him like the hulk.

The conversion of middle-aged man cynicism to old man strength has begun. With each new upload, he becomes a little bit stronger and a little less lucid towards mediocre movies/tv shows. In 5-8 years, I suspect he'll be crushing beer cans into small aluminum balls with his fingers while telling Jay how he genuinely enjoyed watching Fast and Furious 17.