Hammond, Clarkson and May Fake Stats Compilation 

"The Vespa weighs 940,000 tons"

"James, you get -461 points because your ambulance doesn't say "ambulance" on it" -Richard Hammond, while in the background, his ambulance which says "Lo-Cost Nuclear Disposal"

“Until this government gets rid of every speed bump. We are all going to die” - Jeremy Clarkson *whatever year* colourised

“You make up statistics to get printed, and you’ll sound really good.” Sounds about right nowadays.

I love Jeremy’s dominance in this video.

The magic of this trio, can never be copied. Something about British humour, and these three crazy personalities, just worked, and made it an enjoyable watch.

You missed “Did you know in the whole history of TVR there is no recorded incident of one ever breaking down” “I’ve heard that.” That ones my favourite 😂

Making up fake stats is literally me when I have no idea what to say in Science Class...

"You've eaten it" "Yes I had" This is the exact moment in which Top Gear peaked.

James: Jeremy you got....... Richard: a gear lever in his bottom

'it's got a million horsepower! and it's invisible...and it has CANNONS' the deranged look in Hammonds eyes when he says that always kills me

hammond, clarkson, and may backing away from the finish line for their saftey compilation

The scoreboard part is literally how my professors grade me after the exams

May: c o c k Hammond: I don't even know what I'm saying Clarkson: *bullshit logic go*

Jezza saying "Pleeeeeeeeease" and "Sweeeeeet" compilation

You forgot about the 4 million points James lost in the man with van challenge.

“I’m making it up to make a point” 😂😂😂

I wish you included the clip where Jeremy goes around a track in an old car and goes "I'm up to 190mph now.. 200...210mph"

I am the first to arrive and as you might expect, I’ve done this properly

"I shouldnt have to suffer because someone might have an Anglia" I agree with James on this.

To answer Jeremy's question in the first clip, it's because safety glass breaks into small pieces with no sharp edges. Regular glass has REALLY sharp edges when shattered

I like this Jeremy's way of hyperbolizing everything but making the numbers sound precise along with him saying articles incorrectly and using words like "unbeautiful". I guess he has probably done that 569 million times already.

how about a fake deaths compilation? James dying in Albania and Jeremy getting eaten by dogs are some that comes to mind

"100% of the British people would vote for someone who's interested in formula 1" Former motoring journalist Boris Johnson: Hold my Beer...

Fun fact: there was 235 times Jeremy clarkson said: “it’s ridiculous” in this video

I hadn't even realised this was a gag. I knew the 'Hammond scoring -1000' in challenges' was a well known gag, but not this.

Not so much a compilation of “Fake stats”, more like a compilation of “Scoreboard after cheap car challenges” 😂

Alternate title : "Hammond got bullied from the scoreboard by the orang utan and the spaniel"

Those handcuffs looked like it came directly out of James’s dungeon.

The "YUUUP!" from Richard at the end really got me

Please never stop making these compilations🤣 we can never let top gear and its humour die

Literally just opened the PC to work but this notification came just then

"You just did" Excellent response to Jeremy instead of explaining maths 🤣

3:57 How did no one laugh at that joke, I missed it myself a few times but it's very funny.

"I shouldn't have to suffer because somebody has got an anglia." I love May's humor. It's the kind that just makes me laugh in a way that somehow end in a cough on account of how meaningful it is XD

Sorry but ‘so I score....’ ‘ONE..’ always gets me 🤣

This reminded me of a caption in a local newspaper where residents complained of teenagers doing 0-60 in 2.5 seconds in the high street why buy a Veyron when you can have a £500 Corsa that's just as fast

I love everytime he adds million to his insane numbers

There should be a "top gear maths" compilation

6:32 unreal delivery

Oh man this makes me miss the golden age of Top Gear so much

This is hilarious. I’ve rewatched this video a thousand times.

At exactly 4 minutes to 9 pm (GMT+7) I commented on this video

"Well yes, I'm making it up but I'm making it up to make the point"😂 The amount of people who actually use this logic irl and online is enormous

The compilation we didn’t know we needed

“We don’t make the rules, Hammond” (Yeah, we do)

The most common question in these segments is “is it?”

“If its one or more its an issue” he said that with such genuine concern lmao we love james

Love your channel, bro, keep up good work for us, Top Gear fans!

Clarkson while doing Rally Cross on TG: “The number of people killed on a golf course last year was... well, nobody knows but it’s MANY MANY PEOPLE”

"It has a top speed, and I know this because I've done it, of 1 MILLION miles per hour. A million!"

The BBC used to make 100 trillion dollars an episode from this show and they went and fucked it all up.

My favorite TG compilation so far. Well done. Probably a couple more videos worth out there to be rediscovered too I believe.

7:50 such a confident "yup"

Thanks for leaving in the bit of Hammond eating the results, that never gets old lol

We need a Richard Hammond calling Jezza a orangutan compilation 😂

I really like these compilations. I recently subscribed, I'm wondering if you could do a Hammond, Clarkson, & May "Immediately (or Suddenly), there was a problem" compilation.

you have missed the Van challange, where May got -4 million points. That is the best scoreboard moment lol

Do a Jeremy Clarkson's "Let's not get bugged down by ..." compilation

There is literally a compilation for anything these guys do and it’s so fun

And there was jezzas RU-vid video in the sierra cosworth " ...and coming upto 200 miles an hour...."

This is basically the entirety of the classic British sports car episode

1:16 "if it's one or more it's definetly an issue" Did James just back up Jeremy?? 😂😂😂

Honestly though the first one does make sense. It’s not safety glass if it’s in a million small pieces flying around in an accident. It’s better off being a few big pieces or something

7:11 "that's absolutely remarkable" 😅

I could always see Hammond being a doctor for dr who tbh

It’s amazing how many Clips you can make

If there is a video title, you can make a top gear compilation about it. Love it 🤣

"If it's one or more, it's a problem" ~james may, my new favorite quote

i often wonder how long it took for them to realise the lightning in the bottle they had with this i like to watch it as a time capsule a lot too

The vespa one kills me everytime

2:55 The police one is the most obvious one XD The speed section - lose 1 point for every second slower than the Stig's time Stig did 1.48 (1 minute 48 seconds) Hammond wrote - 72 (1 minute 12) which would add to a time of 3 minutes flat But Hammond did a 3.14 in that challenge (86 seconds slower than the Stig) so he should have put minus 86. Actual scores should have been: 179 for Clarkson 165 for Hamond Clarkson should have won The Police Car Challenge

Lol this is a good compilation mate

Technically, Jezza's statement that it takes 'minutes' to modify his P45 for indoors wasn't a lie.

"buses kill 48 badgers a week" clarkson would love buses these days i reckon

1:10 "What you do is making that up" "Yes, but making a point, as Well"

Best one yet 😂😂

I really do miss these three....

I love the scoreboard compilation you added as well. Minus 1000 is hilarious

This are so fun to watch

Jeremy: Makes up ludicrous statistic James: "If it's more than one it's an issue..." James is such an enabler...

“What you’re doing is making that up”

Funniest show on Earth, change my mind.

Jeremy: Why did I get that? James: You just did!

You forgot James' "- 4.000.000 points" in a "Man With A Van Challenge".

This is elementary school type of debate during breaks lmao... Brings back great memories

We need part 2!

Lol this reminds of of how the IMDB does there reviews.

It’s called hyperbole, it’s what the public don’t understand about clarksons columns!

Love these lads

Oh gosh, the ambulance special was hilarious. I still lose it with Hammonds air powered ejection delivery system.

The last few seconds just described ambulances anyway.

"James, you got minus 4 million." "What, for not tailgating?"

I just love it😂

The three greatest car presenters noone will be able to fill these legends shoes.

How is there 8 minutes of this It’s beautiful

You need to do a wot compilation!!! I need that in my life!!

3:20 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR YEARS

”we dont make the rules” XD

"WhY dO I gEt MInuS A tHOuSaNd FoR pOo?" - Never thought I'd laugh so hard at a question about faeces.