00:00 a little about Sabrina 01:45 Sabrina's story 10:40 telling her family 14:16 dealing with comments 16:56 lack of support 19:19 thoughts on adoption 20:42 this is helpful 24:56 healing takes time - Connect with Sabrina - Facebook: facebook.com/SabrinaSchott Instagram: @Sabrina.Schottenhamel Email: hello@SabrinaSchottenhamel.com
Both stories are so important, and I thank both of you for being so transparent. I am a 23 year old, newly married woman and I always thought that I would have kids, I had even talked to my husband about having kids at 25, since I am Hispanic and I liked the idea of having kids young. But damn, as I keep getting older, the more I debate with myself on if I truly want kids. I don’t see having kids as something that’s really doable, especially with how expensive and ridiculously expensive childcare is. I grew up with parents who were loving, but didn’t have the means to comfortably financially provide for me and my two brothers, so it gives me a lot to think about. I know that I’m young enough to still have time to think about it, but I do debate it on the regular.
Great interview! We need to tell our stories and normalize that we may have wanted kids at some point, but then it didn’t happen, or we change our minds, and being Childfree or happily marry or single without kids is a fulfilling lifestyle too. I don't believe that people are childless.Thank you both! 💕
I agree that there is a complete lack of support for those who can’t have kids or chose not to have kids. There are also those who may have been able to conceive if they underwent risky and possibly cost prohibitive procedures (IVF, etc.) but decided they didn’t want to go through all of that. I feel that women who do not have children are judged without even knowing the reason why a women does not have children. To have or not have, all choices should be respected.
Completely relatable. To go from wanting them, to not wanting them. Every story matters and thank you for the interview. We are all on a spectrum. We are all on a journey. And now I am just happy with what I have. I have a husband and 2 wonderful dogs. I also have nieces that I absolutely love. It's all good!
I love how you cover people from infertility community. There's also the camp of people that wanted kids but look to the postivity of childfree as moving forward.
I was unable to have children due to endometriosis. But I knew I didn't want kids long before I found that out. So I was always grateful that my womb wasn't wasted. But I have also never considered myself unable to have children. If I wanted to be a mom, I would adopt in a heartbeat. I don't think you have to share DNA to be a family.
I've talked to a person who's sobbing every time she sees kids walking on the streets or with their parents, she couldn't have children on her own. I said to that person she has the choice to adopt a child. There are so many abandoned children out there who are waiting for a warm home and for parents to be loved. I thought I could help her with this but instead she snapped at me and that she doesn't want to raise random 'brats' from other people. She only wanted her own which she couldn't. I didn't know what I had to reply because my mind was blown. I thought she was so rude and egotistical. Sounded like a me me me only me issue. I allowed her to continue to be depressed and good luck lol.
@Veronique Castel and please explain to me 1. Why you feel the need to tell me I'm not allowed to have an opinion. 2. How this statement effects you personally.
@@sburris65 1/where does she said you're not allowed to have an opinion? It's RU-vid. If YOU comment here anyone with an acc can reply back. If you don't want replies than don't comment. 2/where does she tell your comment affects her? You're mad about things that ain't there.
Infertility is indeed experiencing sone sort of death. Ambiguous grief is one way to describe the whole process. Unlike with traditional death, death of dreams/invisible forms of grief are lonely and hard to process.
I can't imagine wanting something and seeing it part of your life's evolution and being in a sense denied that. I would be so heartbroken and I feel she is dealing with it exceptionally well. I knew I didn't want kids since as long as I can remember, and listening to her story am also partly grateful I will be spared a potential disappointment if I'd want kids of my own. Thanks for sharing your story and views vulnerably on a public platform, Sabrina
FABuuulous Hannah. Great interviewer...listening, caring, and being so kind as you always are. You know when Sabrina said they played with baby dolls and pretended to be pregnant with the 'infamous' perfect husband... I do not recall this 'ever'. I knew at age 12 that babysitting was NOT for me and we were kind of forced to do so through these babysitting certificate programs....I think they are a good idea as we learned friggen CPR and how to deal with choking kids and babies etc. But I was like ... "uhhhh NOPE" !! I gave it a go for 2 years b4 I finally was allowed to work a real job casually as obviously studies were most important. You know how you and I both say 15 was our age....I think we possibly both knew way before. Family tells me I was never into younger cousins etc and I was the youngest in immediate family and could not WAIT to grow up and be out of house at 18 like siblings successfully did. There was never any 'failure to launch' situation, haha.
I am going threw the biggest depression of my life when my husband said no to us having a 2nd baby. I am over 50 and still depressed and regret about the whole thing. I do things to try overcome the pain but no mutter what it doesn’t seem to go away. I am very disappointed with myself my marriage my life. My husband has no idea of how much pain this caused me. He is trying to do other things to make me happy but it doesn’t work. I’m worried that I will lose my marriage and break our small family because of this. This is heartbreaking. I do walk in nature, have two dogs that I love. Our son is older now so I’m not so needed. We have been married for over 17 years. I wish there was something out there to make me feel better and save our marriage. Not sure it’s possible at this point. The pain I experience over this is too overwhelming. Please be kind.
Don’t stay is a marriage like that. It sounds miserable and unhealthy. Might be time to separate from a hubby that you don’t seem to be compatible with. Life is too short for miserable. Do something good for yourself!
You need to feel what you feel. So its ok to feel what you feel. But also remember while so many have had healthy babies later in life the odds are tough. I have siblimgs and my 2 boys are great together but i have so many 1 child friends. So your kid will be fine as they find thier support system in close relationships (If that was a worry at all) .. if that was a factor. As for yourself.. i do feel having a child is a 2 person committment. If its reversed and u didnt want one and he did.... you would not want him to "push" you. Maybe use this to strenghtne your relationship with your husband . talk to him about how you are felling leaving out the "I blame you" tone but suggest some time for you both as a couple.
I really appreciated this interview. I’m in a similar position now (infertility and recurrent miscarriage). My husband and I have chosen to live our lives childless but now were excited to live our lives without children. It’s been a very hard road but we know life still has so much to offer us. Thank you for this video.❤
Thanks Hanna for this video. I appreciate including other stories in your channel. I like Sabrina, I am child free by circumstances not completely by choice, listening to Sabrina’s story gives me support and helps me validate my story and why I do not have children. Contrary to Sabrina I made the decision not to proceed with testing and procedures.
Wow. What a fantastic episode. Thank you to all involved for your honesty. So insightful. You both shine a light from your spirits & it’s gorgeous to see.
@@Sabrinaschott My pleasure! People just don't think about those struggles.:( My sister chose not to have kids because she fought breast cancer. She would have had to spend thousands of dollars to regain fertility. She and her husband are happily married to each other and to their jobs.
@@Gotoh1YuchiLover001 - so many different stories out there. I love that we are all so unique to be able to have our own version but still share similarities 💞💞
She applied a really inconsistent standard to adoption. She talks about how it's risky and you never know what you're going to get, but makes no mention of the fact that having biological children is no different. Even if you do everything right, you're still rolling dice either way. I wish people would put the same amount of scrutiny into having biological children.
The cluck will pass. I have had it a couple of time, just ignore it, it does pass. No amount of cluck beats my little freedoms and autonomy and having a peaceful and quiet home. My partner and I have witnessed what parenting does to one’s life/body and emotions and there’s nothing about it that is appealing. And parenting is a permanent burden. It doesn’t pass, cluck does pass. You’ll be okay. Remind yourself of how expensive and loud and chaotic and disruptive kids are to having a calm and autonomous life.
I had kids but not with whom a certain type would have wanted me to (an immigrant). Otherwise I would have been too nervous/sad to have them because of WW2.
