Harry Potter except it's written by an AI 

When he said “Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself” I felt that.

Death Eaters: giving each other kisses and saying they like each other “Good guys”: *Ron ate Hermione’s family*

I'm surprised Voldemort didn't give Harry an expired coupon for new parents.

I don’t what’s funnier the fact the book starts on chapter 13 or Ron being absolutely roasted

*Ron was going to be spiders. He was. He wasn't proud of that.*

"Harry ripped his eyes out and threw them in the forest" ah yes i can't see him he cant see me

5:46 I love how Ron didn't even bother casting a spell with his wand, he just threw it.

Ah yes, my favorite Harry Potter character: Mr. Staircase

“harry fell down the staircases for the rest of the summer” wow... that’s a long staircase

I would pay Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint to act this out.

I love how Hermione doesn't seem to even care that her family just got cannibalized 🤣

So to recap: a gang of judgemental loons with an incredibly poor grasp of magic aggressively interrupted a Death Eater meeting where they're politely confessing their crushes and being supportive of one's another's feelings. They judge the Death Eaters on their appearance. When their leader, Voldemort, arrives one of the psychos rips his own eyes out and they randomly insult Voldemort for being mean... he raises his eyebrows in understandable confusion. One of the psychos throws his wand at Voldemort and then they murder all the Death Eaters. So when an AI writes the story, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are the good guys 🤣

“I think it’s okay if you like me” “Thank you very much” 10/10 dialogue

What I expected: Extreme cringe What actually happened: Literary comedic genius

I am no longer scared of AI taking over the world

Can we give the Hufflepuff pig a round of polite applause for his promotion to Hagrid please

ron's ron shirt was just as bad as ron himself. a very rare insult

Things to do when you see your friend: a. Say hi b. Approach c. Eat Hermione's family

"The Dursleys had never been to the castle and they were not about to come there in *Harry Potter And The Portrait Of What Looked Like A Large Pile Of Ash* " I love this line so unexplainably much

If the AI consumed fanfic this would be very different

"Harry did not like to think about birds" Hedwig:

"Sup Ron?" "Sup Harry... are you a ghost now?" "Yea, apparently...what are you up to?" "Just eating Hermione's family" "Cool"

_"We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us!" Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in chorus_ The entire Harry Potter franchise in a nutshell, right there.

I need a fully animated version of this

“Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself” *destruction 100*

Everybody gangsta until someone starts eating Hermione's family and then dipping her in hot sauce

I came SO close to spitting out my drink when he said “BEEF WOMEN”

5:33 i was rubbing my eyes and couldnt see, so i thought they said “Hermione has forgotten how to die”

"Voldemort, you're a very bad and mean wizard." *Destruction 100*

This sounds like the dream a harry potter fan would have when they're on drugs.

“They looked at the door, screaming about how closed it was.” 💀🤣

love how they made Hermione sound like an 80-year-old man who has been smoking his whole life

“They looked at the door, screaming about how closed it was”

“Ron’s Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself” “To Harry, Ron was a loud, slow, and soft bird. Harry did not like to think about birds.” Well, someone doesn’t like Ron.

'The castle grounds snarled with a magically magnified wind' Okay, yeah, not correct but not bad. Maybe this AI thing won't be so bad. 'the sky was a great black ceiling, which was full of blood.' I stand corrected lol.

"The password was...*long pause*... BEEF WOMEN." This is so out of pocket lol.

“BEEF WOMEN”, Hermione cried calmly

What to do when Voldemort is behind you: Run: ❌ Fight: ❌ Feel a great overreaction: ✅ Tear your eyes from your head and throw them into a forest: ✅

“The Great Hall was filled with incredible moaning chandeliers” One reason you appreciate being a muggle.

Time traveler: moves chair harry potter:

"Voldemort, you're a very bad and mean wizard," Harry said calmly.

Person: what is your favorite Harry Potter book? Me: Harry Potter and the portrait of what looked like a large pile of ash

you know it's going to be good when there's a long pause before they read the next sentence

"If you two can't clump happily, I'm going to get aggressive!" Hermione said 'calmly'

"He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family" That went from 0 to 100 real fucking quick.

"Magic: it was something Harry Potter thought was very good." *Harry Potter series in a nutshell.*

When an AI writes better fanfiction than humans

“The only sounds drifting from Hagrid’s hut were the disdainful shrieks of his own furniture.” The AI coming at Hagrid’s weight lol.

_"Ron's Ron shirt was just as bad as Ron himself."_ Damn, way to roast Ron.

It's only a matter of time before J.K. reveals that Ron was actually always a soft bird...

This sounds like a dream you have before waking up, realizing you're late for school, and only realizing how weird it was after you're already in bed again at night

My favorite quote from a book: “Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good.”

“Voldemort, you’re a very bad and mean wizard” *The Harry Potter series summed into one sentence*

"They looked at the door, screaming about how closed it was" *wheeeeze*

i love how voldemort was all "um dude wtf" but *harry could not see anything in the moment*

Tearing your eyes from your head and throwing them into the forest as soon as you see someone is a pretty savage way of calling them ugly ngl

Me: Mom, can we get Harry Potter? Mom: We have Harry Potter at home. Harry Potter at home:

JK Rowling will declare this canon any day now

I'm rooting for Voldemort and the homoerotic death eaters.

“What’s your favorite Harry Potter book?” “Oh, Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash is so good! 😊”

“Did you eat Hermione’s family Ron?” Dumbledore asked calmly...

"We're the only people wo matter, he's never going to get rid of us." In a way that's actually a perfectly accurate portrayal of the books.

it’s 2am and I’m cackling like a witch

I need a t-shirt saying “Hermione has forgotten how to dance”

JK Rowling: "WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN!!!"

Imagine Draco is just awkwardly sitting at the meeting, hating every second of it....and all he hears from outside is "BEEF WOMEN"

"It seems like the death eaters are the good guys" They forgot how to magic. BEAMS OF LIGHT SHOT OUT OF THEIR HEADS? Had me laughing so hard.

The death eater scene was genuinely wholesome

*Still better story than the cursed child*

I'm impressed. The AI is more intelligent than I thought. It understands that Harry cannot see after he threw away his eyes.

*Harry did not like to think about birds.*

*RON'S RON SHIRT WAS JUST AS BAD AS RON HIMSELF*

The bit about birds is especially hilarious considering the British slang.

“The spiders - they want me to tap dance” 😂

Ah yes, the most underrated character in the HP series: *Mr. Staircase*

"Hey what's your wifi password?" " *BEEF WOMAN* "

People: AI is going to rule the world. AI:

"BEEF WOMEN," Hermione cried. Best line if you ask me.

_"He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermionie's family."_ Damn right, just as I remember it.

Person: "So, have you read Harry potter?" Me: "Yes." Person: "What book did you read?" Me: *"Yes."*

Let’s adapt this book into a movie and reunite the cast of the Harry Potter movies to act it out. I think Daniel Radcliffe would really fit this version of Harry just like the old one. Plus I want to hear Emma Watson yell “BEEF WOMEN”.

"Harry could tell that Voldemort was standing right behind him. HE FELT A COMPLETE OVERREACTION." Umm... excuse me, exactly HOW CLOSE was Voldemort standing behind Harry?! No wonder Harry tore his own eyes out...

“Harry threw his eyeballs into the forest” “Harry looked around and fell down the staircase” Me: .. *seems reasonable*

When the AI suddenly starts writing Death Eater fanfiction.

It’s scary how 5 years ago AI was like this and now AI is so lifelike

Ron looked at the doorknob and then looked at hermione with *S E A R I N G P A I N*

I'm starting to believe my dreams are written by AI.

Hermione: And you are...? Ron: A loud, slow and soft bird. Harry: I don't like birds. Ron: what did you say? *Ron immediately eats hermione's family*

3:41 this story has turned into a fan fiction 😂

"Harry... you have your mother's eyes...." "I DON'T WANT THEM"

"RON'S RON SHIRT WAS JUST AS BAD AS RON HIMSELF" I CAN'T BREATHE

This was 5 years ago.... wonder what it would come up with now... 😂

"Magic: it was something Harry potter thought was very good" Speech +100

*He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione’s family* WELCOME TO HOGWARTS

friend: OMG I HAD A DREAM WHERE I WAS GETTING MARRIED my dreams:

"Hermione Has Forgotten How To Dance" sounds like a Smiths song ngl

You're laughing. Ron is going to be spiders and you're laughing.

accurate things to the books: -randomly bringing up how non-magic the dursleys are -randomly going to Hagrids hut -random inanimate objects are alive -green light

"Ron was standing there and doing a kind of frenzied tap dance. He saw Harry and immediately began to eat Hermione's family" You know, give AI credit...none of us saw that one coming.

Shout out to Mr. Staircase, who showed up to say literally one word to confirm Ron's theory