Some truly terrible examples of parenting. Why would anyone do this?! Order my book here: lnk.to/TheTinLGBT Join this channel to get access to perks: / @jammidodger
The thing that probably angers me the most is the fact that these parents are the same people that will literally tear someone apart just because they support the idea of LGBTQ+ having children.
Exactly... The people who want to ban drag shows and won't let kids know that queer people exist "for the sake of the children!" but you never hear them say anything about it being legal in the US to marry minors (especially if you're Mormon) (I made an unsubstantiated guess that most of these are Americans... They have very US vibes)
Especially since they’re the ones that are like “queer people aren’t fit to be parents, they would raise their children horribly.” Bigots use so much projection that they would win a world championship of projecting with no practice
I feel like parents constantly forget that 1. Your child are human beings - they have feelings and will make mistakes. 2. You do not own your children - they are their own person they deserve their own privacy. 3. If you continue to treat them this way, in a few years time you will be thinking “why don’t they talk to me anymore” and then refuse to admit that maybe you were the problem.
Insane parents: traumatize and mistreat their children. Also insane parents: Why are my kids so rude to me? Why don't they talk to me? Someone missed the lesson on cause and effect
@@DaveBadger Actually, a transgender person would be miserable if they _weren't_ allowed to express the gender that matches their real gender identity.
@@willace8045 do you remember the story about a UK gamer who had a seizure and his co-player called emergency from USA, while his mother was downstairs? They removed his door and I think that's like the only case when I found it at least based on some rational reasoning (even though I think there are probably more suitable ways, like some kind of emergency button used by seniors or something like that).
TW This is gonna go into a bit of vague detail about abuse and mentions CSA... The gist of it is me explainin how this and many similar behaviours are abuse and how they have permanent life alterin effects on the ppl that have to go thru this kind of abuse I had a stepdad do that to our room from age 12-14 (thats when my biomom cheated on him and we moved in with the latest in a long line of soon to be ex-stepdads). It was right after i started puberty and he was certain i was tryin to master bait everywhere even remotely secret... And apparently he had a huge problem with the possibility of such, as he wud also constantly harass me while i was watchin TV bcuz i was cold and my arms were under the blanket... The dude assumed the only reason to have hands under a blanket was to stealthily master bait 9,9 I dont even remember what was the final thing before removin the door, but i know that he did believe that we were secretly master baiting in there or doin other naughtiness he cudnt see I master baited in the bathroom between those ages, not in my room; which i shared with my brother who is one yr younger than me
@@carnifaxx I was more thinking like if a kid is at risk of hurting themselves having a barrier between you and the kid isn't amazing but I still think you should put up a curtain or smth so they have privacy
When I was in primary school in the late '80s in Ireland, there was a poster up in the school by Childline, a support phone line for children to report abuse. The slogan was: "Just because you made something doesn't mean you own it". All prospective parents need to understand that.
This is very cool. My parents adopted me, so I think they had the perspective that they owned me because they paid for me and signed the paperwork. Ouch.
I do like that, but I feel like it only makes sense in that context. As a general rule - like with art, music, books - yeah, if you made it, you do own it. The issue is that parents try to apply that to their children, who are actual people. That rule absolutely should be true of art and people's intellectual property - but you cannot, cannot apply the same rule to humans that you do to inanimate objects. That is where the issue lies. When you make some artwork, it's just some artwork, not a living, breathing being. When you "make" another person... that's a whole person with their own individual thoughts and feelings. Not a thing or an object, a person.
@shaneflannery1129 No. Being responsible for your kids is different from owning them. Responsibility is just that: being responsible for your actions-the decision to become a parent-by ensuring your kids have their physical, emotional, intellectual, and social needs yet. Ownership is asserting power over their ever move: not allowing them to have any say over aspects of their life where letting them have autonomy would actually help them grow and develop. Mild, G-rated example from my own childhood, which was full of many different kinds of trauma: I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until my brother took pity on me and taught me when I was 8. My mother refused to teach me because I was her “dollie” (a term of ownership that she actually used) and needed to be dependent on her for everything. She enjoyed keeping me helpless for as long as possible. That sort of parenting doesn’t allow children to grow and develop into secure, independent, adaptable adults.
I have a few LGBT examples from my mum: (TW for homo- and transphobia) 1. When I came out to her as homosexual, after months of denying that I could know my sexuality because I was too young (I was 15, while my 11 y/o brother had his first girlfriend) she said that if I want to live that lifestyle, I can’t be part of her life. 2. After coming out I wrote her a heartfelt letter while crying, explaining everything and listing resources for her to understand it better and talk to some other parents, she told me that I was only getting these ideas off the internet and she threw away the letter. 2. When I was about to go to the cinema with some friends, she asked me, whether my friends were normal or like me. 3. When she broke down crying one night because some things has happened in my family that year (a death and health issues), she blamed me for making things so much worse for her 8by her basically forcing me to come out) and that I was the reason for her breaking down and that she can’t live like this anymore (which was mighty threatening). 4. When I came out as transgender a few years later, my coming out should have been: I have good news and bad news; the good news is you were right that I’m not a lesbian, but the bad news is I still like girls…. I’m no longer in contact with her as her homo- and transphobia was just the tip of an abuse iceberg, so she’ll never know about me being non binary.
To all the people in the comments: DO NOT INTERACT WITH @dustyganilla2425. They are a transphobic troll who has had nothing better to do than comment on this channel since the beginning of the pandemic. If you see one of their replies under a comment, DO NOT REPLY TO THEM. They want you to engage. Don't give them that satisfaction. Just report them and move on.
The best parent I saw at my store was a woman who told each of her kids they had a specific budget at the store. The four kids decided to agree on something all together, pooling the budgets. Another fantastic woman was watching her friends’ kids as well as her own. So she had eight kids with her. After finalizing her purchase, she turns to the store, bellows, “SPAWN! To me!” All eight set down whatever they were looking at, and came running over! Very well-behaved. And trying not to giggle…failing adorably
Im the youngest of 3 siblings, and honestly i feel like i was just "another reason" to keep my parents together, but they were never a great couple... they're divorced now (im 19)
giving away a dog randomly, who was loved and cared for, is incredibly psychologically damaging to the dog and incredibly cruel. dogs rely on and center their entire existence on loving and supporting their owners. they become as attatched to you as you are to them, and as a dog that's their whole life, you are literally everything to them and abandoning them out of nowhere is not something they can even fully comprehend. they just know you were everything and now you're gone. and then they never see you again. its cruel. if you get a dog, you need to understand how loyal they are, how much love and attention they need, and how much loyalty and love they need back in order to be healthy. that's just how they're wired and if you can care for them and they love you don't just give them away. even if you leave for 20 minutes they get sad. your dogs miss you. and we already know as a kid how damaging it is to lose a pet. shame on that parent seriously. as both a parent and a dog owner you signed up for a little person with complicated feelings who might not do their homework all the time because idk, SCHOOL IS FUCKING HARD, and you signed up for an animal with high emotional needs. animals have needs too. just because they aren't as complex as humans' doesn't mean they don't have them. he didn't even do anything, wtf
The worst part is that the dog in the picture is a bully breed; their chances of making it out of the shelter at all are vanishingly slim. The parents just put their dog on death row over some goddamn homework
Honestly, I'm still shocked how many parents are unpleasantly surprised by a revelation that children are also people. I feel so "cringey" (is it a word?) when I try to explain to another parent that small children also have feelings, that their human dignity should be respected etc.
@@Inhaledcorn I actually don't hate them as parents, I think they are trying their best, but it's just incomprehensible for me how in this age of internet and information people still deliberately choose the worse option available - it's not that they don't know, they know very well and they still decide to go for the harm for whatever stupid reason. (And it's not only the attitude to mental health and dignity, these are the same people who also go for proven health hazards.) The older I get, the more I feel like these parents are just as unaware of consequences and as mentally stable as toddlers and I have problems not seeing them like that :D
@carnifaxx I think where a lot of parents get lost or go wrong with this is what might be just something an adult is used to can be devastating for a child. Like if the parent promised to take the kid to a park or something but had to back out at the last second due to an emergency the child isn’t going to understand that. But because the adult understands why they couldn’t go to the park it’s not often a huge deal them. And to adults they often just don’t realize their child isn’t old enough to understand certain things and handle/process emotions like an adult. This can lead to the adult invalidating and ignoring the child’s emotions and disregarding them as over reacting or just being a brat and throwing a tantrum.
When I was 17 my mom made a list of privileges she would take away in order for me to "gain her trust back". One of those "privileges" was privacy in my own room. By the time I reached "privilege" 5 or 6 I was so tired I didn't care anymore. Then she got upset because I didn't care I was getting my ipod back. 🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣
Parents deserve Disney?! How is single people paying for streaming service "keeping" it from other paying customers? It makes no sense 🤦🏼♀️ Also Libraries are a thing, even if I couldn't afford streaming platforms I could still rent shows and movies from the library.....for 100% FREE.
Her comment was attached to a news article about Netflix throttling video quality because usage was too high. So, stupid entitled rant she went on, but it was at least grounded in some form of logic…
@@CoreenMontagna That's her 'reason', it isn't logical. Netflix is to blame not anyone else. They are a company and make all the decisions. Not the consumers.
"Disney+ was made only for kids" Meanwhile on Disney+: Andor, Daredevil, Marvel What If, and lots of other violent, gory, and thematically mature content.
Why do parents deserve the streaming service more tho? like honestly i would argue the exact opposite of her point and say the parents need to leave streaming services for the lonelier folk! At least YOU (parents) have people you can spend your time bonding with in your household, meanwhile the singles are stuck with no one! Like, put down the remote, karen, and go actually play with your kids! (bare in mind my argument, like hers, would be in the context of pandemic lockdown)
I think the reason these insane parents don't like their children having privacy is because they see it as an infringement of their authority. These people like being in control, so they don't allow privacy
It's easier to build up a child than repair a broken adult, treat your kids with respect & humanity. Love to everyone from a Mum of 3 respectful adults
@@StudlyFudd13 Same here... From one broken adult to another, though, we survived... and we can even heal, but healing means integrating the broken parts not unwinding the breaking. I hope you can find moments of peace.
My parents took away my bedroom door once, their reasoning behind it was because I told my brother to get out of my room after he threw a very heavy vase at me, that also belonged to my bio dads grandma who passed away shortly before the events of this story. I called my mom a crazy bitch, and my step dad straight up smacked me across the face, telling me not to talk to my mother like that. I yelled at my mom, reminding her that I do, in fact, have a disgustingly perverted 10 year old brother (he makes the most disgusting sex jokes that he shouldn't even have heard of yet) and she threw the same, broken vase at me, telling me not to call my brother a pervert. In the end, my injurys were: 1 broken rib, a splintered collar bone TONS of Bruising, and a disgustingly cut up shoulder 🙂 my mom and my step dad both got charged with child abuse and assault, and I'm now happily living with my dad, his girlfriend, and my cat (who my mom threatened to drown in a river if I failed any classes btw) and have completely cut ties with my mom, and my brother (who did NOT come live with us because of him assaulting me MULTIPLE TIMES over the course of a month, but went into foster care) and have not seen either of them since the incident. So, moral of the story is: kids, if you ever see your parents going down a road of toxicity, you should probably cut ties with them ASAP 👍
kudos to you for making it out and hopefully having a good life now. wishing you all the best. I know how hard it can be to cut ties with someone that society tells you is meant to be your strongest bond (bio parents)
i was 14 when my mom took my door away (i got it taken away bc i got an A-). instead of crying about it, i decided to maliciously comply. i would change in front of her and shower/use the bathroom with the door open. i got my door back a month later 😊
The "Look how Boulder I am" is referring to a city in Colorado USA. Boulder Colorado. It's known for being much more liberal than the rest of the state. Among Christians it has a "scary" reputation because it's more progressive. I grew up thinking it was a scary place for that reason. It's really just more aware of social issues than the rest of the state. Just thought I'd explain what it meant to be "Boulder."
AH. That's similar to St. John's with Newfoundland. They're the big city, more progressive, and the small town people act like they're all entitled mor0ns, when in reality, the entitled mor0ns are the regressive people
My best friend’s parents blocked all contact between us when they found out we were both LGBTQ+ because they thought I “influenced” him into being trans. They then proceeded to pull him out of school and blocked his access to the internet to prevent further “influence” and refuse to let him talk to anyone but family and church friends. Thankfully he’ll be turning 18 in about a year and can get away from them (he does currently have a job and several people in our friend group are more than willing to offer a place to stay if he needs it).
You folks are doing so much good for him being there and keeping your doors open. Friends like you are invaluable in these situations. But it must be hard for you too. Take good care of yourself!
@@EagleHeart063I think they mean it as the child needs to be removed so the child is away from the toxic household Not saying something like the child is bad. But rather the child deserves freedom
It's so funny to me how that kid said "Hey, I'll be back at 3 so I can't do the dishes by then. Is 3:15 a better deadline?" and the parent just ignored that and punished them. I think the parent just wanted an excuse to abuse their power.
Thing is those insane parents probably think their children are going to take care of them in their old age. In reality, chances are those kids will minimize contact as much as possible for the sake of their mental health
If they stay in contact, there is a chance that they will wonder how their children could be so cruel take away their elderly parents' privacy, destroy their stuff when they don't get up early enough or take away whatever is left of the things that brought them joy.
The ones who stole, sold, or even worse, destroyed their kids' property should be ARRESTED. The ones who got rid of the dog to punish the child should go to prison for long enough that the child gets new, better parents as a bonus.
Depends on the country, but if the child worked all on their own to afford the tablet in the first place (summer job, or selling art, or the like) then they own it 100 %. The parents can't use the excuse that it's a gift and that they "have the right to do whatever they want with it". Another example is if the gift wasn't from the parents, then the parents have no say in the destruction of it.
My parents got mad that I had a child out of wedlock and wanted to “force” my partner to marry and financially provide for me, so they sold my house, making a ton of money on it (legal bc their name was on it so that my ex couldn’t have claimed half of it in my previous divorce). They also sold or gave away all my belongings (illegal and hugely traumatic for me). I was 34. I’m now 41 and still not married.
I think the draw of this subreddit (both for individuals and to see content creators cover it) is that it's really a big group of people going "Thank god I'm not alone!" and admonishing each other's terrible parents for being awful humans. Plus it can really help people who might not've found it or realized their family's abuse to be exposed to what behaviors aren't okay. I know that's what it was for me when I first discovered this subreddit XD
Oh, absolutely. I didn't discover this subreddit until after I fled my parents' home for safety, but its extremely affirming seeing both the reality that I'm not the only one who gets treated this way and that everyone finds the treatment I recieved revolting.
Yeah it's really inappropriate to share childhood memories with coworkers when they are all filled with weird behavior and abuse that you didn't even realize was happening at the time. So we run to reddit and RU-vid and share our upsetting past with people who get it! Hooray.
Oh yeah, so many of us are like, “Oh, it wasn’t just me!” I’m one of the lucky ones who had one horrible parent and one good parent. Sadly, the good parent grew up abused and didn’t know they didn’t have to be treated like that. My generation broke the cycle! There’s a lot of jokes about the eighties after-school specials, but that’s how my sibs and I learned things didn’t have to be that way. We are all non-abusive individuals. 👍
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if a parent or anyone you know makes you uncomfortable and hurts you, that's a valid feeling. Its easy to tell yourself "I'm overreacting, im sensitive, im whiny, im ungrateful" but that simply isn't true. Fights and disagreements obviously happen in relationships of any kind, but if you're made uneasy or hurt by someone all the time, and they refuse to ever apologize and claim you're sensitive or ungrateful for complaining about their behaviour, that is a genuine reason to be upset at them and call them out, it's not you "being sensitive." Saying this because my parents used this argument on me for years, calling me sensitive so I wouldn't call them out on their BS. You don't owe your parents, respect and love are indeed a two-way street.
I almost always need to remind myself of this. I was raised to be seen, not heard. I was abused by my brother and said nothing as to not inconvenience my parents. etc etc etc (I could write a book of the shit I've gone through growing up) But this mindset is a really hard one to fix. I constantly have to remind myself.
God this was triggering. I wasn’t even allowed privacy in the bathroom, taking a bath or shower. Even as an adult, I wasn’t allowed to lock any doors, never had a lock on my own bedroom door (you better believe all of my kids had a lock to their rooms even as children). My mom would come in and open the shower curtain and inspect my body. She’d also make me weigh naked in front of her daily to insure I maintained what she deemed to be a “healthy weight” - she expected me to weigh 100 pounds at 5’5” height - yeah this caused me to develop an eating disorder. I was beaten and whipped with a phone cord and then clothes hangers (when I went to my room trying to pack to run away out of fear after the whips left open welts and bruises all over my body) for having not put my own laundry away yet after I folded it while watching cartoons. This was back before DVRs, streaming, etc. and I was just waiting for the commercial. I was a child.
@@ShinyTillDawn it’s been a process. There was a lot of indoctrination and guilting having me believe this was normal and okay (especially since I tried getting help when I was little, but a) she always made sure the marks from the beatings were hidden by my clothes and also because she worked for the school district and the church and no one believed me or did anything). When my dr told her I had to get counseling after trying to commit suicide (she refused to take me to the hospital, because what would people at church say), she only would take me to Christian counselors that invalidated everything I was feeling. So, I’ve led a pretty brain-washed indoctrinated life. It’s these people that are the groomers and abusers. It makes me sick that they try to accuse people just trying to teach about love and acceptance as being bad. My plan is to cut all contact by the end of the summer. I need to get some things that belong to me from the house and then yeah I’m cutting contact, but it’s hard and I don’t know why. I always tried to get her to love me, accept me support me like she has my sister, but I’ve never been able to and never understood why. I grew up autistic and with ADHD both undiagnosed and was ridiculed for it at home and school. It’s like I still crave that idea of having a loving mother so much that I can’t let go of the shitty one I have. I know it’ll never happen, so I’m trying.
The worst thing about the "no privacy until you're independent" parents is they're definitely the same ones who demand control over the kid's finances when they start working.
I am a transwoman from a extremely transphobic famaily (gladly I live by myself and have a good job). When I was a teen, my mother caught me sleeping with a baby doll and she did exactly the saame thing, SHE TOOK THE DOOR AAWAY FROM MY ROOM. and staarted with random inspections of my things. Good thing cme out that I learned how counterintelligence works and it helped to be great at my job.
There are so many people who basically consider their kids to be an accessory or a toy. My parents were wanting to foster a kid because my mom grew up in foster care, and I told my dad that I didn't think it was a good idea, since she has a tendency to decide she doesn't like things after a while, and how I feel like she stopped liking me when I wasn't as cute anymore. And my dad said "that's not true. It was when you became less pliable" and I was just like "okay but that's worse, you get that it's worse right??" But yeah, growing up with Insane Parents suuuucks. They abandoned me at 19 when i was diagnosed with autism and they were told i couldn't live independently. Like, two days later. And i was homeless for over a year. And now sometimes they try to make me feel bad by being like "You're just going to dump us in an old folks home..." And I'm just like... yeah? You made your beds, now lie in it. I have a t-shirt that says the same thing as the sign from the *elementary school* and my parents were like "you can't wear that in public, it's offensive" and i was just like "please explain to me why, exactly, it's offensive". Also, i was 25 and had my own apartment. Also when I was 7, my mom got rid of my hermit crabs as a punishment.
Wow. I admire your ability to pack such an amount of insanity into so few sentences. And working your way out of homelessness as an autistic person is also very impressive. Being homeless has been one of my worst nightmares. I was able to dodge it with an insane amount of help.
The fact that your dad admitted that your mom stopped liking you because you were capable of making your own decisions about what you did and didn't want is very telling. Kids are humans, not toys to be discarded when they're not fun anymore. I'm glad you're in a better place now and have managed so much on your own.
I came home from uni for the first time, hadnt seen my family in months and my mother ignored me for two weeks because i was 'selfish, secretive, ungrateful' etc. I had gotten a haircut. Engaging with this sort of content is sometimes difficult for me but its also validating to understand what else people think is insane for parents
@@Ruthavecflute yep, she's like this. The hair is just the most clear and recent example I could think of. I'd wanted it short for years, pretty much as long as I could remember, but I was never allowed to have it short. She said once I moved away to uni I could do whatever I wanted with my hair 🤷 I was 18, so I thought it was my choice to do what I wanted
@@RowanArk Ok, I think you know this, but gaslighting is a thing, so it bares reinforcing: She is being ridiculous and unreasonable. I imagine that as you are at uni you can't cut ties yet, but once you're financially stable it's certainly something to consider. Sending you a vertual *hug*
I'm FTM and I don't like people seeing my chest, so I asked my mom to knock on the door when she comes into my room just in case I'm changing, she said ok then went on a rant about how I don't need privacy snd how we're all girls and we have the same parts, she also said that she's seen me naked before and doesn't think knocking is necessary. (she even knows I'm trans but chooses to ignore it
"I've seen you naked" isn't an excuse, why can't parents just accept when their kids say they don't want to be walked in on naked?? Like yes I'm aware you changed my diapers when I was a baby, babies don't know shame or privacy, kids and teenagers do
@@DanielledeVreede And probably a few doctors and (when you were still in diapers or potty training) extended family and babysitters. Should they all have keys to the house and be able to walk into your room whenever THEY want? I don't think so!
Extreme solution, kinda eww but will work if you hear playtime happening in her room. Walk in go it's not like I have seen you naked before pretend you want to talk to her about dinner tomorrow. Then walk out. That will likely teach the point.
LOL The sign at the elementary school is exactly why I homeschool my own children....because there isn't ENOUGH of any of those things in schools, and my kids get to have a way more diverse, affirming, and comprehensive education and social experience in all of the activities we engage in instead of going to school.
Give them my best, friend -- and I wish I could still hug my loving, supportive dad, who left the planet in 12/2012...but his words live in my heart: "You're my child, and I love you."
Ugh. This is painful as a parent. Privacy? Yeah. My kids get privacy up until the point at which they demonstrate that they are unsafe with it. In which case, they still may have privacy from ME so long as they have a safe adult (a relative, trusted family friend, a therapist, etc) they can share things with. We all deal with depression and neurodivergence in this household, and we do the best we can. I want my kids to be safe and happy. And IMO if you sacrifice too much of the latter, you compromise the former. Edit: A lot of these are some oldschool parenting "wisdom." And people are surprised that more and more people of my generation and below are cutting our ties with our parents once we become adults. My biggest goal as a parent is that my children never feel toward me the way I feel toward my parents.
My child is four. 4 years old. Yet when he's in his room and has shut the door, I still knock and ask if I can come in, and wait for him to say yes, before I even touch the door handle. I teach him that his voice matters and that his choices are important. Being a parent is about teaching your kids that you'll always be there for them and love them, but teaching them to be independent and live life without you being there eventually, not about controlling their lives.
the lack of allowing kids to have privacy is super familiar & WAYYY too telling of bigger issues with the parents. my dad once replaced my doorknob with a lockless one because i locked myself in my room to get away from him while he was screaming & threatening to hurt me (not gonna elaborate for my own comfort but i will say that his threats weren't always unfounded so i for sure had a reason to wanna hide lol) i feel so bad for these kids, it makes me so mad to see this potentially happening to anyone else :( i haven't talked to my dad since i was 18 (i'm 23 now) & was only able to start healing after finally being away from him, i really really hope these kids are able to separate themselves from the source of mistreatment as soon as they're able to. full advocate for cutting off shitty parents !!!!!! only slightly related but maybe more of me projecting with the hope it'll hit the nail in the head for someone who might read this, but there is NO excuse to mistreat your kids. i don't care what they said or did. because years of therapy & im still struggling to comprehend that my violent response to being abused didn't mean i deserved it. i've never taken anything laying down & i've always been more akin to a feral coyote than the typical "meek & scared" expectation of abused kids. my fight or flight choice being fight has managed to make anyone who wants to silence me have a really easy way to do it, by saying i clearly WANTED it to happen because i fought back. nobody deserves to be treated badly by their parents for any fucking reason.
Last year I found out about the concept of removing whole door of the room of your child and I'm still very... ashamed as a parent and I feel so sorry for the children who have to endure this. I have teenagers myself and I still don't get it, like what are the parents even expecting from this? What good is supposed to emerge?
@@carnifaxx the hardest part was honestly that i hadn't really thought much about it, growing up i just assumed it was normal or that i deserved it because i didn't have videos like this or anything similar to tell me. i hope more than anything that the rise of the internet since i was little means that more kids will see things like this & know it's not ok earlier on. as for what my dad thought was gonna happen i'm not sure, i think he just had a concept that scaring obedience into someone is the same as teaching? all he ended up giving me in the end was complex ptsd though, so i guess if anything i can be living proof that this shit does no good at all for kids 😭
@@izzy-hands one of my friends is active on social networks (not in English) where she explains either to adults, either to children what is good and what is bad behaviour and where to get help (she is one of the few who actually want also the abusers to be able to find help, not just being told not to do something without any further info what to do, then)... and so many parents hate her, esp. for that part where she kindly and in simple words explains to children what should be considered abusive and how to get help. (She was a kindergarten teacher and works with psychologists and uses scientifical sources etc.) But there are so many people who don't believe in psychology and consider taking care about mental health to be for pu**ies... we are also leading country in consumption of beer per capita, just as a reference point :D
Growing up, my bedroom door never had a lock, but I never needed one, because my parents never gave even a hint of barging in my room, nor threatening to take my door away. And it's the same with my (now adult) sons. We've never had locks on the doors, but I always knock, and don't actually go into their rooms unless I'm needed in there. Their rooms are their space. (although I do wish they would keep their doors open now during the day to let air circulate 😂) Even out bathroom and toilet don't have locks, because we automatically respect the privacy of whoever is in there. The flip side to that is that other than when I'm dressing, my bedroom door has always been open because I want them to feel OK about coming to me any time.
Honestly, there are some people who never, ever should of been parents. I hope all these children get away from their parents and (if they decide to have them) raise their own children in a loving and supportive family and let this insanity die out.
fucked as it sounds i think people should have to go through a process before they can legally have kids, cause a broken human is way more dangerous then a dog or card both of which require a license.
@@saqwana25 one of the most important things to have to do, raise another human being, and no care is taken before letting anyone have children. IQ isn't as important as temperament. Anyone can and should learn the basics of child rearing, but if you're a psychopath or a sociopath with a mean or cruel personality, you have no business having children.
I'm the type of person who is still up at night from relatively small things I did wrong as a youth (as well as just moments in which I was cringe) and I feel so bad for the kid whose parent(s) surrendered their dog to punish their child. If I were that kid I would feel terrible about that for the entire rest of my life. Even with therapy I don't think I would be able to get over that. That is absolutely emotional abuse on the part of the parents. And I don't see how they expect their kid to improve in school now. If someone took my dog away from me I wouldn't have much interest in trying to impress them.
I can testify to the truth of what you've said; my sperm donor forced me to leave behind my cat when I moved across the country with my mum (he was supposed to be staying at the old house until it was sold) and never brought her down with him when he came to tell my mother he 'wanted out'. My parents divorced, to my relief, but I never saw my cat again; she was gone when we went to the old house to deal with the sale, (as he dumped that on us). She'd been a birthday present to me on my eighth birthday. I never saw her again and to this day (I was thirteen then and I'm now in my forties) I have neither forgotten her nor forgiven him. I hope he dies a lonely old man.
I agree with you on family vlogging. It's an invasion of privacy by your parents when you're too young to even be able to properly consent to that. It's cruel and exploitative. I'd be horrified if my parents vlogged about my childhood on the internet.
There’s also the fact that a good chunk of the audience for family vlogs are predators. I think the worst are the parents that ‘sell access’ to their kids. An example being ‘pay 40$ and choose my kids outfit and get a photo’ like how??? Is that not exploitive and risky?? How are the parents not asking themselves why people online are paying for access to their kids?
my mom literally said that "you get your own privacy when your 19." Im living with no devices, always have to have my doors open, cant go outside unless she knows the exact place im going and cant be with my friends unless she knows everything about that friend and what im doing. And she doesnt know why i avoid her. Thanks mom.
That kind of parenting is so bizarre to me, as a parent of two sons, 18 & 20. I have always considered my job as a parent had been to get my kids to independent adulthood. And that doesn't happen overnight, it's done by gradually introducing and teaching age appropriate skills and independence. I have always celebrated every little thing that they can do without my involvement!
@@Nakia11798 idk, she called ME a liar and a manipulator just for telling her how i feel abt her taking my devices away over a year ago completely randomly. I came out to her as bisexual and she told me i was brain washed. Im also a trans man who lives in fear bc of her
I have an insane parents story that is not my own for once. One of my father's colleagues hung ring doorbells throughout his house to watch his family while he is at work. He obsessively watches them through this system every chance he gets. Last week, he spent his break screaming and swearing at his 4 year old daughter because she knocked a shampoo bottle over by accident. I wish I was joking. My guy is speedrunning his way into huge therapy bills and/or dying alone 😬
My biological father literally thinks any opinion I have that he doesn’t agree with was instilled into me by my mother and I could not possibly have my own opinion on the situation…. I am 25!! Funny thing is… most the time my mom don’t agree with that opinion either 😂
1. You and Shaaba will be awesome parents someday. (I only say this because I've heard you both talking about wanting kids, otherwise I wouldn't assume.) You will treat your kids with dignity and respect, and allow age-appropriate levels of autonomy. I wish all parents were like that. 2. I hope it's not too much hassle to move the pizza to where it can be seen no matter how you're sitting. 3. Shaaba's new lighting matches her hair. OT's lighting has always matched his hair. Why haven't you dyed your hair to match your lighting, Jamie? Kidding, of course, the setup looks great.
The parents giving their dog away because their kid didn't do their homework is absolutely insane. Even ignoring everything else that is wrong with this, and if this is a long term issue of the kid not doing school work, how do they think this is going to fix that? When I was in first grade, my mother took my dog to the shelter one day while I was at school (without telling anyone, including my father, but that's a different story) and I was so devastated I could not do my homework for the rest of the week, which my teacher had full understanding for.
I super appreciate whenever this subreddit is covered, as it helps me to understand that what I grew up with was, indeed, insane and NOT OKAY. The privacy one always gets me, because as a kid I was alotted NO privacy. I wasn't allowed to close my bedroom door, my mum would regularly chastise me for covering up my body around her ("I saw your whole body when you were a baby, and I'm certain nothing has changed, so why are you suddenly so self concious around me?"), and so, so much more. I have left many a venting rant on OT and Click's coverage of this topic because it's just helped me balance understanding of the fact that, you know, maybe there's a damn good reason I have anxiety disorders and trust issues galore.
Your quote of her makes me wanna throw up. Disgusting! Making it seem like you offended her or something. And making it seem like any kind of increasing distance to her would be an offense. That's all bullshit! And acting like she's the one who's hurt and making it all about her. Infuriating. Really, absolutely no wonder you have issues like that. It's not your fault!
@@nephistar I appreciate your reply, and indeed, she'd waffle between telling me that I need to be a strong, independent person, but whenever I practised any amount of independence, she'd get all huffy that I was "abandoning the family". My 2017 Christmas gift was being disowned by her because I "never wanted to be a part of this family, anyway" (despite bending over backwards and constantly denying myself in order to appease the family) and that she'd "never raise a child like you've turned out. You raised yourself." A couple of months later, I cut all ties with her, haven't spoken to her or anyone of my adoptive family (except my aunt, her sister, who was similarly ostracised from the family when she became chronically ill, and I only had a couple of years of talking to her after reaching out to her just a few years ago before she passed of cancer), and honestly... I've never felt happier or freer. I currently live pretty isolated in a dense forest, dedicating my life to rescuing roosters, who have been absolutely stellar companions for me.
yea. it's a cliché but.. for a reason. our minds are the most maluable when we are children and our parents have the biggest influence on us when we are children. if your parents teach you (with their behaviour) that you can't rely on them and that they even are a source of harm to you/that you are never really safe... yea, that can fuck you up. I mean... as children our family is mostly our whole world. our parents are the first authorities we encounter... we try to understand how our family works and then think that the whole big world works like that as well (or at least I have noticed that in myself...).
I don't want a kid for multiple reasons, one of them being I'm scared I'll screw them up somehow. Now, I'm not scared of that, because I know that I can't screw up as much as these people did
So much of this could be resolved by parents learning how to regulate their emotions and tolerate distress. No parent is perfect, even the most adaptive of us, but so much of this is just mistaking the need for effective coping strategies in yourself as a need to control your child.
These parents are abusive. In the old days they would be classed as ''old school'' because they were raised the same way as their parents raised them and repeating the cycle. Unfortunately now, it is just abusive, physiological abuse. Someone needs to tell them, that this stuff doesn't work anymore, as it is no longer acceptable.
It didn't work on them either. They were traumatized, they may not have known any better but repeating the cycle is one of many trauma responses. To quote "if you think you 'turned out fine,' you did not in fact, 'turn out fine.'"
@@cjboyo Well.... in the old days it was...the rule of thumb. In the Victorian Era and the late 20s...It was very acceptable. It just changed in the last few years
@cjboyo I think the thing to note is "acceptable" by society's standards doesn't always mean it's "right." Society can be and often is WRONG in many areas and it takes generations to break cycles of abuse.
I'm 29, have mild cerebral palsy and am gay for context. I have to live with my parents for the time being because I still need a little help with some things but, even though I'm an adult they don't let me have any privacy and when I ask for it, they guilt trip me into silence. I can't even have dates come and pick me up to go to dinner or anything. My dad nearly called the cops on this one guy I was dating because I spent the night at his house. And it's not like I didn't say where I was going. They just don't approve of me being with men. It's so infuriating sometimes.
Wouldn't someone who was alone stuck at home during the pandemic need entertaining streaming services _more_ than a family? A family full of people who could entertain one another, talk together, read together, play games together, have meals together as a family?? 🤔
I'm 20 and I got into arguments with my parents over starting T recently. They say they 'accept' me as FTM but they won't use my pronouns or name, they basically just tolerate my existence. The post about the implant reminded me of my situation. I would never have disclosed this if I were fully financially independent from them. I'm in a bad place mentally, but you make me feel safe, Jamie!
@@trevorchester4439 I've literally seen zero examples of what you just said. So the only thing to imagine is that you must be so severely harmed in some way that you are projecting some unspeakable agony. Very sorry about whatever damage you suffered. Sorry I can't offer a more meaningful sympathy because there is no info about what is actually going on with you. Good luck; whatever it is, I hope it gets better.
Jammi's utter confusion at how certain people treat their kids gives me hope for humanity. So, thanks from a former child who definitely had insane parents.
That last one, 'Mom's Had Enough Sale', I lived something similar. My mom used to say that anything we left out, any toys during play, or clothes that came through laundry, she had the right to get rid of. Now, I don't feel traumatized by that, or anything; it did shut down complaining about our own messes awful fast, and everyone always scurried to pick up. She wasn't horrible about it, and I think she very rarely actually got rid of anything. But I mention it, because out of 7 kids, the minority actually turned into well organized adults. Those threats didn't actually teach us anything about the importance of picking up or anything. I just remembering thinking, 'Whoa, she's really serious about making us clean up!'
My dad and stepmum took my bedroom door away “because you’re too young for privacy” I was 14. Oh and there was 4 kids in the house. And they have “no idea” why I don’t go there anymore 💀
I have a brother 18mos older than me. There was no way my parents were removing our privacy and creating awkwardness like that. They wouldn't have anyway, they were more of the remove your tech type parents.
I hate mothers who try to use ‘oh but you can never understand how tired we are!!’ Like ma’am… I have fatigue issues, I am constantly exhausted no matter what.
Same. I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which at least has given me a reason for it all. Do you get people saying "You can't be That tired," as well?
my mom lost it on me when I mentioned getting my HPV vaccine. I reminded her that she had had cervical cancer as had her mother and the HPV vaccine helps protect against that. she still did not think that was an "excuse" and that I "shouldn't be sleeping around anyway" (I wasn't cuz I'm ace, and there's nothing wrong with that anyway)... oh and I was 30 years old at the time
As am I -- this is a marvelous community of kind, empathic souls who are often also domain experts re LGBTQ+ issues and living with (and growing up despite) toxic parents.
6:21 this is emotional abuse. Imagine giving your child a friend who they will bond with and start to consider family, only to rip them apart as punishment for something so trivial. Wtf.
I wanted to thank you. I was in a very toxic cult (out of it now with my parents) and am learning more and more about the LGBTQ+ and accepting them. My cult had LITERAL CLASSES on how not to accept and how to repress your LGBTQ+ness and how to treat those in the community. I never really believed in that, but it became very hard to totally separate myself because it was so prevalent. So thank you for having RU-vid videos about the community, how to treat them with respect and how they are humans. This has helped more than you know to de-cultify myself.
It takes a lot to try to learn and be better, thank you from the bottom of my heart for trying to grow and unlearn what has been taught to you. If you need a queer person to talk to regarding honestly anything, I'd be delighted to help.
My mom is like this sometimes. There’s something about certain kinds of parents where they don’t think of you as autonomous human beings but as their possessions. It’s horribly degrading and toxic. They act like they own you and therefore can do whatever they want to you and disguise it as “knowing best.” They only care about you when you’re upset and have no real interest in you as a person. It leads to a lot of neglect and abuse. I speak from personal experience. I cut my dad out of my life as a teenager and it scared my mom enough to try and be better about it, but it’s not a mindset you can ever really get them out of. There will still be times in your life when they dehumanize you. I was personally outraged at the parents that put that dog up for adoption. That poor sweet boy. And that poor kid. What if that dog was the kid’s only positive and healthy relationship in their household? What if they have depression unknowingly and the dog was helping to regulate it? No kid deserves that.
I can hear the Karen moms right now saying, You don't know what my kids are like, so you can't judge me!!!! Any parent that has had to respond in any of the ways shown today, are the CAUSE of their kids bad behavior. If your kid is out of control, you didn't parent that child well when they were young.
The denial of privacy is not even always about punishments. My mom looked in on me on the way to or from her bathroom in the night. I think she had anxiety that I wasn't breathing (I had bad seasonal allergies and undiagnosed exercise-induced asthma, but middle of the night not breathing was not a real risk). I was not allowed to close my door when I slept, and the hall light made it hard for me to fall asleep, all through my childhood. Gradually, her anxiety got so bad she'd get close to the bed and loom to hear me breathe in the middle of the night. I'd wake up with someone looming over me and be scared half to death and then have trouble getting back to sleep. I was only able to stop her during my first break home from college. I told her that I wasn't going to be responsible if I punched her on waking up if she loomed over me, what with the freshie self-defence course (total excuse, totally a plan). In the dawn hours when she woke me, I took a swing just next to her face. She shrieked. Scaring her once was the end of that.
I remember mentioning this subreddit during one your twitch streams. I have my own insane parents story. As a parent myself watching this subreddit be covered is absolutely eye opening. Parenting is hard, but there are definitely lots of wrong ways to do it.
I will never forget the time my stepdad came up to me angrily asking why I didn't do the dishes. I was gonna tell him that it must've slipped my mind because I had multiple other chores I was doing(without a written list), and he accused me of "getting ready to use my autism as an excuse for not doing them"(again, I would've said "I must've forgotten because I had several chores I was doing" and he decided to pull the "Autism Excuse Card", not me). I barely talk to him, partly for stuff like this.
I've had a handful of friends (and one colleague) who didn't realise that their parents were manipulative, abusive, and/or insane until they got an outside perspective. One friend told me years later that it was seeing how I interacted with my parents that made her realise that her parents were messed up. For my colleague, she told a joke about her parents refused to play board games if they don't win and I straight up told her that a grown man who throws a fit if he doesn't utterly defeat his young children in Candy Land is messed up.
My mom "borrowed" money multiple times from my college fund after i turned 18 and the funds became available. She got so mad when i realized i could take her off the account and did so. Thousands of dollars I've never seen again. 🙃 One reason why when my kids get money for their birthday or a holiday, it all goes to something for them. Because it's theirs.
that ‘welcome to your future’ comment gets me every time i see it. both my parents have shared worries that i’ll cut contact with them when i grow up, but neither of them have cut out their transphobic mindsets against me and i’ve been out almost five years. it’s crazy how cruel yet oblivious parents can be
I used to binge watch videos reacting to r/InsaneParents at around 15 and it just gave me horrible mental health seeing just how far certain individuals would go to control, manipulate, punish, etc., abuse their children. I wondered if my own parents were like these, and what they would've done had I been more rebellious, like my sister. They would get in nasty fights over everything, and I did everything I could to avoid being targeted as well. I eventually decided to completely stop watching these videos to stop feeling angry. Nowadays my parents have really come around, they're supporting my sister more, they're trying to give me more freedom, and they're also helping my younger sibling get mental health support. There's still a long way to go, but I feel like at least I'm able to proudly call them my parents. I feel so sorry for the people in this video and to anyone else whose parents are completely unwilling to listen and change. I hope you can live a happier life someday, with or without them. 💜
For anyone confused about the Boulder thing - in Colorado, USA, Boulder is known as super... "hippy-dippy" for lack of a better word. Very eco, very high (in the not vertical sense), and very left. I live in rural CO and ppl very often blame Boulder (Denver, and California lol) for our left-leaning political state. My own mom got mad at my sister for getting metal straws bc she's too "brainwashed" about green living, even tho they raised us to be as kind as we can to the environment and we've had the worst summers and winters we've ever had in the last ten years....
I was one of those people that got their door taken away as a teen and believe me, they don't regret it at all. I caught my mother watching someone who was talking about it and she laughed with delight. My punishments were always excessive because if they take away books I can use my pc and that's not ok so no pc either nor tv nor anything else. I spent half a year without a door, almost a year without my pc, I had my entire collection of books (at that point more than 600) taken away and replaced with my mother's bags so I wouldn't read while my books were put inside a wall. My father once tore a book in two in front of my eyes. I'm living with them right now even though I'm 30 because the pandemic fucked my job away and they're still threatening to take away things if I don't do what they want. That person that said they haven't talked to their parents in 10 years? Yeah, I hope to be that person. I can't wait to get out of here. Also I'm trans and definitely not telling them :___)
Spud, your situation sounds awful. I hope you can get into a better situation soon and find your people with whom you can be yourself. You are valid from an random internet stranger 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️
The entitlement of some people drives me crazy. You earn respect and love from your kid. If you abuse and hurt them don't be surprised when you end up alone in a home.
I have so many things I could put on this subreddit! -my parents took away the door to my sister and I’s shared bedroom because of something my sister did (I don’t remember, I was really little) -I once got a lot of peanut butter out of the jar, and they forced me to eat all of it. To this day I have no clue why I was required to eat an entire bowl of peanut butter because it taught me nothing. The peanut butter was not contaminated and could’ve gone back in the jar - I’m not allowed to lock the door to my bedroom or bathroom, and I’m required to keep the door open whenever I have a boy over. Sure im a teenager but any boy I bring over I’ve probably known since I was five. Also I’m aroace but they don’t know that -I was beaten with a belt by my father many times, often for speaking out of turn or arguing over pretty mundane, childish things like not wanting to help do the dishes. And if I refused I would be forced to pull my pants and underwear down and was beaten naked so I was both ashamed and in a lot of physical pain -And more! Somehow despite this I still love my parents. My respect for them, however, is questionable.
i mean i knew i had great parents, but hering these stories are making me so much more thankful! i really hope the kids in these stories identify how awfully they were treated and find people that actually celebrate and respect them...
1) As a mama of 3 young adults, this is absolutely horrifying! 2) Please Dr. Jamie, do something wholesome next time! I got through this video on your kind, innocent reactions, but really this was rough. 3) Everyone deserves love, support, privacy, and basic respect-as-a-sentient-being. 4) Free mama hugs for anyone who needs them! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤💙💗🤍
My parents probably would be on the subreddit if I was able to be not so specific about my details online. Like, they were never so insane that they would take my door away, but if I literally don't answer text messages and tell them where I am, my mum worries herself into a late night. I'm a young adult (approaching my mid-20s) living abroad with an 8 hour time difference. She also likes to ask about my clothing.
6:50 if i got my kid a dog and they didn't do their homework, i might think "are they responsible enough to take care of the dog?" And then it would be MY dog if they didn't. 😂 The dog ain't going anywhere, we're just having a conversation about being more responsible
It baffles me that I give more personal autonomy and respect to my children who are under the age of 6 than some parents give their teenage and adult children.
One time, my parents INSISTED that I had my door open and unlocked [they claimed it was because they're 'worried about me' but I knew better]. I decided to say okay, sure, and kept the door WIDE open. Sat at my computer entirely nude after a shower to dry off. Never was a problem after that, I could close and lock my door all I like.
When I was a kid an aunt gave me everything necessary for my birthday party but my mom said that if I cried or got upset just once during an entire month she would use everything for another kid from church. I have BPD, my mother didn’t believe in treatment so I was without medication or therapy. She threw the party for the other kids and left me out for not being able to control myself during a month
oh i agree, it is always a blessing whenever jamie posts. and it is a great time for me. i get noted the second i lay in bed. it feels nice. and i wish you a lovely day🧡🧡🧡
In my experience, highly religious parents tend to think they get a say about their kids behavior forever. (And have no sense of boundaries/appropriateness.) This can result in said kids never feeling comfortable telling their parents the truth about important things. Would I matter more than their regressive beliefs? 🤷♀️
I've always said, "You don't earn respect; you earn disrespect." As far as I'm concerned, blank slate, interacting with someone for the first time, knowing nothing about them, they get respect by default. They do something nasty or rude or whatever, then they get disrespect because they earned that.
i've struggled with mental health a lot and my mom wanted to make sure i was safe from myself(at the time i was a danger to myself) we removed my door knob so i couldn't lock myself in my room. we both discussed and agreed to this and even then, she had to knock and ask my if she could come in. if you want to have a relationship with your children, you have to respect them. no excuses
we also used to have cameras so when i was a little bit better, but still at risk, and sick but my mom was at work. after a month of no SH and talking about ideations, she took them down. imagine actually tracking your children.
I saw an absolutely insane one on another channel today. Some absolute psychopath of a mother decided to pinish her daughter by taking away her prosthetic arm. Yeah. The kid was an amputee, and the mother punished her by taking away her prosthetic arm. Some people should not have children.
A few years back when I (at the time mid-20s F) was living with a roommate (also mid-20s F) in a condo her parents had bought for her, her mom just let herself in our locked front door one day while my roommate was at work. *Without knocking*. With a friend she'd been out shopping with. To drop off some stuff she'd bought for her daughter. She'd called both our cell phones, but mine was in another room charging and I didn't hear it go off. She assumed neither of us was home, but I was putting away laundry in my bedroom. At first she couldn't comprehend "but I thought nobody was home, and it's not like I caught you doing anything embarrassing" doesn't make it okay to let herself and a stranger in without knocking. I think it finally got through to her when I said I might have not picked up the phone because I was in the shower, and could have walked out on them naked to get dressed because I was (or thought I was) alone with the door locked and the curtains shut.
As a single parent, hearing these stories just horrify me. Like how TF can people act like this?!!!! No privacy respect, entitlement??? GETTING RID OF THE DOG?!! Like WTF are these people on?
