HE HAS WRONG INTENTIONS 

If he is not a man who fears Allah. He doesn't fulfill his basic religious duty like praying at the mosque (as opposed to praying at home like a woman or not praying at all), he sleeps all day during Ramadan, has almost no religious knowledge and is not interested in learning. A man who doesn't fear Allah will not respect you. A man who does not fulfill his responsibilities towards Allah will not fulfill his responsibilities towards his family.

Finding a husband is so stressful and scary since only Allah knows the hidden intentions they have in their heart😢

Thanks, Sister Nafisa ! Number 8 happened to me. As soon as I met this man he was asking me a lot of questions about what kind of job I'm doing, how many days I was working if I work full time or part time he said he wanted to help me . I foolishly thought he was interested in my professional life. A few days later, he asked me for money. I was shocked ! To me, a man who has his dignity and respects himself he will never ask a woman for money no matter how poor he is.

One of my personal red flags is someone who doesn't respect his commitments. I find it so important as too many people (men and women) say things they don't actually do. Words become meaningless and this definitely impacts the level of respect you have for the individual. Also, I would be VERY careful with regard to ego. How does the individual react to disagreements? Is it all about him being right or about the issue? How does he react to other cultures/people of other social classes? Is he nationalist? May Allah protect us and allow us to have the qualities we look for in a spouse.

If he's a momma's boy or easily manipulated by other family members to the point that he will share all your secrets with his mother/others and he will neglect his responsibilities towards you to please that person (mother/other wife/other family member).

After watching many murder/crime documentaries i understand how important it is to know about someone's parents, their childhood or up bringing. It says a LOT about a person!!!

The thought of Marriage petrifies me, so much deceit sloshing around. Personally best to be single and rely on Allah swt. Sad times unfortunately.

Subhanallah i was talking to a man who showed a lot of those red flags. I knew it right away, intuition right ! But due to my age (35 soon to be 36), i thought that i should sabr. And i did. Few things bothered me: 1. he only talked about that, always 2. He had 0 responsability regarding money 3. I later found out on my own that he was undocumented. 4. He told me within a week that he loved me and when i told him to go slow, he denied until the end that he wasn't in love with me. He said A today, B the next day. Always. I "stayed" with him for 2 months and then called it off. He was never serious about it, and i thank Allah that i'm not a romantic, because he was a smooth talker. Be careful,think with your brain not your heart 🥰 Thank you for this video Nafisa 😘

Good advice. Once had a useless mentally unstable argumentative 50 year ar old man who I dumped for good in time - who was doing all of this and marrying me just for the 'passport' and wanted me to pay all the bill, get a house and always arguing about money or the lack of it! Hs just was not a man. Advice to older sisters don't marry desperately- or anyone on 'work permit' illegals or student visas full stop. Don't get desperate! May Allah find us sincere genuine positive and stable men for husbands who are practicing and financially secure and good for our akhira. Ameen.

If he has an addiction or bad habit. This may be an addiction to cigarettes, another substance, the internet, his phone, hanging out in the streets, etc. The point is, this addiction or bad habit takes up a majority of his time. This means that Allah and his family will always come 2nd and/or 3rd in his life. He will not work to fulfill his responsibilities because he is busy supporting his addiction/habit. If you try to come in between him and his addiction/habit or give him al ultimatum, you may not have the outcome you'd like. Depending on what the addiction is, you may even be in danger.

My Narcissistic husband of 22 years prayed and recited the Quran daily, so I thought he was a decent person. Unfortunately an emotional affair, with the same woman from his teenage years, for the second time, destroyed our marriage. I only found out last year that he wanted to marry her when they were young l, but her father said no. He kept that a secret and the fact that he’s always wanted her, guess he’ll get what he wants now. Years of emotional and financial abuse has left me thoroughly exhausted. Can’t believe that I was fooled for so many years, by someone who puts a ‘mask’ on for others, but was a tyrant to his family, Subhan’Allah 😔

my father owns multi million companies in the gulf region however i suspect that a british man, muslim ofc wants to gain some kind of leverage from this . im a student in london, young and ambitious and my looks are decent alhamdilla so i think its double trouble (my looks and fathers finance) and not just susceptible to him but any man i encounter.. but people get mad when i say i want a wealthy man because at least i know he has options and finances and he chose me for me

Beautiful advice Nafisatu ❤ all that you’ve said is correct! Before my marriage I had a feeling that he wasn’t it but his beautiful nature showed me otherwise. He was calm, cool, collected, patient,loving… I still wasn’t feeling it and wanted to postpone the wedding. He firmly was against it and said anything could come up in a year. Ended up marrying him and his true colour came out, not wanting to taking any responsibility for the family, mentally, physically abusing and to add to that financial abusing too. He left the household with a pile of unpaid bills with a child to support on my own trust what Nafisatu is saying Allah’s given women the intuition as a way to protect ourself, please use it or you’ll end up regretting it 🌷

jazak Allahu khayran you're soo right I agree with you with all the point may الله protects all , istekhara had saved my life from marrying someone

unfortunately, most brothers want intimacy prior marriage. I get ghosted for not wanting to.

Such a great video! I wish this came out when I was 18 because it would have helped me avoid an unhappy and abusive relationship. Back then I didn't have the experience or maturity to spot these red flags you mentioned. 🙏

Salam as I’ve just ended a potential marriage today, I can agree with all these especially following your intuition.

A man who always difficulty getting along with others. It's always someone else's fault and he didn't do anything wrong. For some reason or another, the world is always out to get him. His ex-wife is a witch, his ex-bff is a liar, those family members he has issues with have always been envious of him, his neighbors are always picking on him. He never takes personal responsibility for any of his problems and, therefore, will never resolve them. Stay away or get a pair of boxing gloves so you can swing it out alongside him in the street

My dear sister Nafisa, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the very necessary work you do for the community, these videos are so unbelievably important and relevant in navigating a scary world with people who can be so careless with people's lives and hearts. Thank you for sharing your beneficial wisdom and knowledge, I learn so much from you and take notes. Whilst there are men doing wonderful work in topics like this, hearing information like this from a fellow sister is really comforting and comes from a perspective of understanding how we women feel, so may Allah enable you to keep benefiting the ummah and bless you with the best in this life and the next ameen.

Salam Alaykum Sis Nafisa , can you please make a video on anxiety and panic attacks before marriage?

Wow, it's weird that I've noticed all these red flags in one person and just like you mentioned I wasn't sure if it was my intuition or just me overthinkin it.🤯

Please try to make Allah a consistent priority in life and He will guide and help in ALL situations and grant success in this life and the next by His permission. That's the secret to success through Allah.

Alhamdullah for having you sister may Allah swt give you more barakah in life and make everything easy for you

Also sisters, there's another type of men who only marries to get physical otherwise they don't care about your feelings... If you aren't emotionnally stable enough, please be careful ! remember that it can get to a point where some of them might see you in distress or having a crisis and dare to make fun of you in those moments ... May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you all from that ameen ya Rabbi and grant you peace in this dunya and akhira . Please my sisters avoid arrogant, narcissistic men . Try to look for someone who was raised as a humble gentleman , One who doesn't seek to gain dominance over you , who has deen , who seeks your opinion as well , who treats you like a human being. And if you can't find that men then know that staying single is way better in some cases , better be alone than being treated like an animal or less . And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us and make us from al muqarabeen , make us live this life as He subhanahu wa ta'ala pleases , be amongst the muhsineen , the mutaqeen, the sabeeqoon , the muqaraboon , al dhakirat Allah kathiran , the people of Jannatul firdaws al a'la and make us from those who'll never experience punishment after our dunya , Ameen ya Rabbi ya Dhul Jalali wal Ikram Ya Rahman Ya Rahim May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you my beautiful sisters , remember that a man isn't everything and make duaa to be independent and only depend on Allah , and to make the halal sufficient for you over the haram , and make you from the ones who are grateful and do plenty of istighfar ameen ya rabbi Subhanaka Allahuma wa bihamdika ash-hadu anla ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atubu ilayk سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت أستغفرك وأتوب إليك

im so sad, last month i gave this guy a chance whom i didnt on first sight fully liked but would wanted to give it a chance because ive gotten lonely and didnt want to regret not to have given a try for the sake of Allah to marry in halal. but your right, the intuition made me feel so scared about him. he would not listen on just our second date to not get in his car, he insisted to drive me elsewhere, i had to say no way to many times. but also asks me many question wich as i asked him the same he wouldnt answer the same questions. i feel like i deserve love and safety but Allah wont give it to me, i already had such unloving unsafe life i grew up wich made me and my mother very sick as my mum had cancer and surgeries because of my father was not her right match and abusive in a way she insisted to stay but at all cost of her happiness and health, im sad i m waiting for the same destiny. i would love to heal my wounds, and really hope i wont give in to someone like my dad but thats the only guys i atract who are same like my dad, i will probly die alone

Let me share my story A few months ago a muslim man proposed to me and I accepted without making it hard for them. After making the first family introduction, he started changing, he kept on abusing me, manipulating me, controlling me, said so many hurtful things to me, this was tough for me because I had genuinely loved them. I later mastered courage and called off the Nikkah. Its true that with any decisions, always pray to Allah. He called and quarrelled but i stayed firm on my decision. He had all the red flags in this video. 13 days later after canceling, he married someone else. I thank Allah for saving me from what would have been a disastrous marrriage Dear sisters, please pray about absolutely everything, Allah will guide us all to the Right spouses.

Assalamu alaykum. This has helped me make me a calculated decision.. this has prevented me from being broken... My intuition warned me that something wasn't right... And this video gave me a means of direction.. and it has made me feel relieved and saved me a lot of stress and problems

With love bombing, it's not as simple as that.... You need to look at his overall behaviour. If there's other behaviours which are consistent with the negative aspect of love bombing then yes be careful! But it's not always abusive or narcissistic, it can be genuine. If it's reciprocated and if there are positives to him (because we all have red flags but some we can work through) then it might not be a bad thing. You have to look at the situation yourself and make judgement and not be oblivious to anything!

Great video sister Nafisa. Your contents are so valuable Alhamdulillah. There are men out there that go as far as emotionally blackmailing a lady for more physical contact. I've heard stories about women asking for more intimacy from men too. Ladies I tell myself and I tell you, it's not just worth your dignity at all. And men can get bored easily. In the terms of sister Nafisa "love bombing" Slow pace does it. May Allah bless us with good spouse.

Very informative video sister. I'm sure this will benefit many sisters out there. I am 42 and finding it extremely difficult to get married after 8 years since my divorce. Attended the so called marriage events but unfortunately not being able to find a quality marriage material type of guy. I am beginning to lose hope and despairing at times. I am a practising sister and even went for Umrah during Ramadan to ask Allah for a spouse. I am too old to be starting a family so have given up on that aspect. Any advice/video regarding this would be greatly appreciated sister Nafisa.jzk.

Jazakillahu khayran sis. You have said it all, I wish I knew all these before I got married or let me say i knew some of these but was emotionally blinded. I'm close to 43 and 13 yrs in marriage with 3 kids. Husband and I live in different towns because of our works, can't tell all am currently going through ....... but don't want to divorce him because of my kids. My adviçe: Don't marry a man who's too secertive and adhere strictly to sis Nafisa's words. May Allah reward her abundantly.

I can attest to sign number 7. My biological male parent told my mother and my grandparents that he was all alone in this world🙄. No siblings, parents are no longer among the living….the whole works. He lied. Had two whole older brothers, idk how many sisters and BOTH PARENTS “kicking” as you said 😂. My mom was married to him when one day out of the blue his oldest brother popped up and said “hey I’m looking for (narcissist).” Obviously my mom asked who he was and he said “I’m his brother.” I can’t imagine what she felt in that moment…finding out that fix his mouth to lie that bad and to her whole family. And yes, he was abusive. So much that I want absolutely nothing to do with him.

Allahumabarik the comment you made about intuition and being a mother to a newborn is elite and it makes sense why women supposedly have a stronger intuition than men in certain areas.

Such a great video for young muslim girls looking for marriage! Jazak'Allah khair!

Sister i love you for the sake of Allah. I see some similarities in you in me. I seen your video about your personality test. Im actually more of an introvert due to personal reasons. Allah knows best why he turned me into an introvert as i got older. This also increased my eman. I pray one day we cross paths in sha Allah. Sister keep being amazing. I will also keep you in my duas 🤲🏿

جزاك اللهُ خيرًا Dear sis for this beneficial video. May ALLAH عز و جل truly bless your effort ❤

Whilst in the process of finding a potential you can do a small lie in not revealing your past, since that is between you and Allah Subhanallah Wa'Tala.

This works for multiple religions and for both men and women. She's good. "When a man shows extreme jealousy...You may be just an addition to the other things in his life that he needs to have control over." Insightful. "You don't know or have never met any members of his family." Obviously family includes family equivalent for atypical circumstances...but it's an important indicator. "When they know your post code, game over." Double thumbs up. The 8 signs are all legit: seen them all in various pretenders before.

Wow so true what you said everything you said. Especially about the men trying to rush you I had that happened once by the men’s father and I found out why they didn’t want me to know something

Allah is the Only & Best help for the believers. Please study the Quran and ask Allah for understanding and guidance.

**The red flags mentioned in the video** 1- If he’s pushing you for physical intimacy 2- If he’s bombarding you with too much love ( love bombing you) 3- If your intuition is telling something is wrong then trust your gut instinct and take your time in doing background checks on him 4- If he shows extreme jealousy (he will end up controlling you as he feels a sense of entitlement and you CANNOT change him so DON’T settle and be careful ) 5- If he lies a lot (common lies include lying about their age, lying about their previous marriage and pretending to not have been married before. This will cause you to have trust issues) 6- If you’re doubting whether he’s marrying you for you or he’s trying to obtain spousal visa through you. Once he gets his “right to remain” residency permit then you will see his true colours 7- if you don’t know or you’ve never met his family. He’s hiding you for a reason and him not introducing you to his family says a lot about his intentions and what he thinks if you. Make sure you verify the family he introduces too 8- If he keeps bringing up convos about finances especially if you’re a women who is well established or you come from a wealthy background. This is a sign of him trying to use you for financial gain

I wish I could have got all of these things before now. Very educative.

Jzk for such an insightful video Nafisah! One I will definitely come back to. Please can you dedicate a video talking about dealing with finances in a marriage, how you should *split* the bills, what is an unrealistic financial expectation put on the brother etc. I hear a lot of let’s save together go 50/50 then one day we will be set and only Allah knows whether that day will come etc. how to properly vet men financially and ensure you don’t bear the financial burden Jzk xxx

MashAllah, your contents are so good and so helpful. All women should listen to this…

Your advice is superb Masha’Allah 😊 JazakAllah Sis! Even though I am single it’s still always good to know

This video , Is what I have been wanted to hear for years! All the point you talk here ! Very alive! Thank you 😊 Nafisa ! You are really inspiring! May Allah bless you always.

The noor on your face tho❤

Masha Allah very helpful and eye opening especially on Visa section jazza kul Allah khyr

Loool truss I’ve come across some , the love bombing when you don’t even know my surname like I could legit be your worst nightmare but you’ve already envisioned our life together. Girlllllsss and guys who claim they’re divorced and they have kids especially online . First question should be are you still married if not can I meet the ex wife then lool this helps filter those who want secret second wives

SubhanaAllah!!!! This was on point Sis, powerful message thank you for always sharing such beautiful beneficial knowledge Ma shaa Allah TabarakAllah 🤲🏾🤲🏾❤️🌹

MashaAllah you are glowing sis. Thank you so much for this vidéo. May Allah reward you immensely.

Sister i agree eith you😊 But maybe you should be careful when you talk about the jealousy part,as muslims might get confused In Islam, a man is supposed to be jealous. You know, gheera is a very important part of manhood actually. Maybe you could make a video, where you talk about that more specifically😘 Love you, sister. Salam aleykum!

MashaAllah nafisaaaa I am sooo astonished by the things u said! Subhanallah I WROTE DOWN SOME NOTESSS 📝!😂😂 Subhanallah I recognized some patterns. Great video

well done sis , this is so beneficial . may Allah bless you with more wisdom

May Allah guide us towards the righteous path and send us an authentic, righteous person 🙏 ameen 🤍 I'm so scared of my future. Please don't put out before marriage. Make him wait 😬😬

I needed this years ago. Jazakallah khayr 💜🤲🏾

I wish I had someone tell me these signs when I foolish took the red flags as not that problematic 😢.. 10 years later and 3 kids under 6 years old and he’s gone without a drop of regards or responsibility.. trying to come to terms with why I did not take these red flags into consideration 😢

I wanted you to keep going with the points. Sad it ended. Thank you so much and may Allah reward you abundantly. Love you

Aslamulakum Nafisa. Please make Du'a for me, I'm going through a rough time right now.

Mashallah your knowledge in relations is sooooo mature and 💯true. Please sister I need your opinion about marriage applications like Muzz . How I choose the right religious man on it . Please talk about this topic. Many thanks and love from Egypt.

I love your videos , please make a video regarding essentials of marriage, how girls can get mentally prepared for marriage, please do share some marriage tips for girls , per marriage books to read Girls usually don’t have much idea regarding how to deal with marital issues and marriage also requires sacrifices so please share tour advices for girls who r getting married and also for those who r already married ❤❤❤

MashAllah such a nice video to educate ourselves may Allah grant us good spouse Ameeen

Sister Nafisa, can you tell me how to deal with insecure man like pros and cons. I'm in that position where I'm with insecure man right now.

Jazaakillah khairan sister Nafisa! I have watched a few of your videos and they are all so amazingly beneficial. May Allah protect all of us from spouses that don’t have our best interest at heart. I love you for the sake of Allah sis💕 Congratulations on finding your well deserved husband and the beautiful blessing of a baby! May Allah SWT continue to bless you fee dunya and aahirah Ameen💕

Assalamualaikum jazakallahu Khairan kaseerah sis nafeesa it really inspirational, very true even I suffered because lack of knowledge how men black mail innocent women and how innocent women are trapped with such evil men

I just recently subscribed to your channel and all I want to say is I’m completely blown away by your content.. mashallah so inspirational and so much wisdom.. I learnt a lot from this and can truly relate to some of the red flags you mentioned.. Sisters reading my comment, I’ve tried and test most of what this sister has said, complete facts! So please be careful and may Allah swt keep all of us safe & protected Ameen.

This part 9:22 😅 I’ve seen it maaaaany times. Ladies be careful be these men are willing to do anything for a passport.

Is there a link if nafisa made the video for reading between the lines?

Love all your videos ❤ mashallah you are the big sis we all need. What’s your thoughts on our Muslims bros and their obsession with Andrew Tate?

A sociopath type may present as almost perfect down to admitting his faults, but the Admission may represent a single percentage of his character and deeds. He frequents the mosque, prays fasts, he wears Muslim garments, grooms and grows that beard, tells you what you want to hear like hes an Actor with a Script, Set and Wardrobe.

Ladiiies don't marry a man who "hates" people who do Daà'wah, i swear i was talking to someone saying "I don't feel comfortable listenning to them" 😱😱 and i was like okey that's already enough for me. NEXT.

Jazakallah ka'ir sister I really needed to hear this

Asalaamu Alaaikulm jazak Allah for the video insightful, would you consider making a video about poligamy and islamic perspective of the positive perspective? Jazak Allah Khair

I’m having the love bombing issue too much and I don’t believe it I wish I was not that pretty 💔

MashaAllah- This is a much needed video.

Aslamoalicom Dear Sister Nafisa Thanks for your excellent this Important topic about Intentions. I believe the right Intentions is Important element of success any thing to be done. Wish you all the best success.

God bless you sister. You are helping countless women and young women.

I like how you say “sis”😅❤❤❤

This video is so needed thank you

Such an eyeoper. Thank you, Jazakallahu khair.

Jazaka Allah khairan. Just in time MashaAllah ❤

If the man lied about not saving my pics while he has them to send him more pics ..and when I figured out he said I lied because every time he ask me for a pic I refuse at first so he didn't wanted me to feel like he is a freak ..does is mean he is a manipulative man?

Ma Shaa Allah. Well done sis.

I've experienced a lot of love bombing this these past 2 years...SubhanAllah. Thank you so much for everything ❤ Could you please do a video on how do make research about a man please ?

Thank you so much for this Nafisa. That video of how to read between the lines is a much needed one. Anticipating 😊

Good advice. I was blessed and I don’t know why. My husband is spoiled rotten, though not perfect. 🇺🇸🇸🇦❤️

We miss your videos ❤

Marsha Allah Sister, great advice

My personal red flag is someone who loves Cristiano Ronaldo or other self-center famous people. Why would he admire someone not humble?

Assalamu alaykum wa rahamatullah. May Allah bless you for your good content and all those clear information and advices you give us. BarakAllahu feek! Since the video is about the intention, I have been speaking with a practising muslim man for 5 months and one of the questions I asked from the very beginning was what is his intention in speaking with me, and he said "serious intention for the purpose of marriage". I'm 27 and he's 28, we have different cultures and we live in different countries, so we got to know eachother through the phone and he contacted me. The thing is we have been speaking about lots of important matters so not about "what's your favourite colour" kind of questions, but I'm noticing that this month he is being less and less present. Us women notice time dedication and I'd want him to be more present. I let him know that, he apologized and said he understood what I mean, but the situation hasn't changed. What should I think about this lack of presence? By that I mean one or two texts during the whole day and a phone call in two weeks more or less. I made him understand that I understand one is busy when one is working, but during days off it should be different and he should be more present. I don't really know what to think about this lack of presence and communication lately, do you have any advice? Oh and I'm praying my istikhara prayer and I hope Allah will guide me through all this. This lack of presence/communication may possibly mean Allah wants us not to be together, I'm starting to think that. JazakAllahu Khair for your time!

Assalam Walekum Sis, can you make a video abt right intension Man.

as salaamu alaykum. Here in America the females are doing the exact same thing and then trying to keep it a secret.

UR AMAZING JAK ❤

Alslamalikom sister nafisa

Block him if that dosnt work change ur number

Jazakumullahu Khairan

Slaam alaikum I wanted to ask a question about divorce as I recently got married after marriage me and my wife had an argument and I said to her let's have a divorce then she said divorce me and give me talaq. So does this count as divorce just by us arguing and talking about it but I never said talaq 3 times or divorce 3 times either is my marriage still valid because I heard someone say if you utter talaq or divorce you once it's over could you give me some advise as I'm really worried just want my marriage to stay valid thanks.

another question is on nikah so at the time of my nikah the imam was reading the duas and different phrases and asked me to repeat it its just the sunnah of the prophet muhammad pbuh that i promise to follow then afterwards i said qabool hai once then he ended with another dua and i signed the nikah papers so is my nikah valid also i thought i have to say it 3 times so is it 3 times for the man or woman or both just confused . im having thoughts in my head that my nikah is not valid as i only said qabool once so is everything valid and okay just worried.

JazakiAllah kheyran sister for your important marriage advices. Could you make إن شاء الله video how to cope with anxiety/panic before marriage?🫶🏾💗

Pure good sense. Did you marry, Nafisa?