Healing from Narcissistic People | The Minimalists Ep. 431 

How many narcissists do you know?

This woman has went to a couple dosen podcast and she's still is not repeating herself. Absolutely outstanding

Until i found Dr Ramani's channel, i didn't know what was wrong with my father. Watching her channel and learning about narcissim, i learned my father was a narcissist. Everything a narc does, describes my father. If you're lucky enough to never know a narc, you're lucky enough to not know the damage they will do

“There is no such thing as a healthy lack of empathy” thank you! Enough said!

You are featuring the best expert in this complicated subject. I have been listening to Dr. Ramani for at least five years and she has saved my life from a 37-year marriage to a covert narcissist. I’m waiting for her new book to arrive. My healing will be ongoing for the rest of my life! I’m 78, and I want the rest of my life to be narcissist-free! ❤❤

Some people ARE beyond redemption. The sooner people realize that, the better.

Selfishness is in fact just 1 of the eggs that make the narcissistic cake. Narcissism a whole lot worse than selfish people.

Dr. Ramani is the relentless trooper saving the world from the narcissist tyrants….she has my eternal gratitude and high regard Thank you for bringing her on the show…❤

The world desperately needs more awareness of Narcissism. I believe it’s at the root of most of the problems in our society. From the members of our own families all the way up (or shall I say down) to the politicians in positions of power especially in the U.S. It’s very simple, a Narcissist has no empathy and zero remorse. A normal person feels guilty when they do or say something wrong or hurtful. They apologize!

Something I learned that is common among people recovering from a narcissist is that they develop habits and sometimes an obsession with overly cleaning or decluttering, which would lead them onto their minimalism journey. The reason for this is because a lot of victims tend to hoard stuff during their time dealing with the narcissist because it's the only aspect of their lives that they feel they have any sense of control over and gain validation from.

I love her. I was married to a narcissist for 21 years; completed five years of therapy. Finally in a healthy relationship with myself AND with my partner. The grass really is greener on the other side. Get out, get some help and move on. Thank you guys for a great conversation.

Dr. Ramani saved my life ❤

I love Dr Ramani so much❤

When people show you who they are, believe them the FIRST time. Maya Angelou Words to live by

Dr.Ramani has changed my life. I loved this interview. Best line ever “it’s not how i feel about you, it how I feel about me in your presence. “ I especially got a kick out of the off camera lady laughing .

Thank you so much for calling out this generalised view of narcissism - a narcissist is a very particular animal with very particular markings - not just a person who is selfish or vain .

Love the woman in the background laughing her butt off 😂

I just broke up with a narcissist. She was unwilling to change anything about herself while she had a long list of things she wanted me to change about herself. She expected everyone to cater to her whims and anyone who didn't, she took as a personal attack. She also took differences of opinion and differences in temperament as malicious and deliberate attacks as if differing opinions or differing behaviors were done to spite her.

You don’t heal from narcissistic people. You heal that part of you which makes you vulnerable to engage in relationships with them. Always go to the source of your pain, when you work from that space this enables you to make healthier choices around who you allow to access your ❤.

Dr. Ramani walks the walk. She's helped me extricate myself from a few toxic situations. I'm growing slowly to discern better each time.

Dr.Ramani I admire and thank you very much for all your work and what you do for us all. Sending you my best regards from Eastern Europe, România! So happy you guys invited dr.Ramani! Wonderful!

Doctor Ramani amazes me with all the amount of information and relatable examples for us mortals to understand narcissism. Regardless, as a person who has invested a lot of time and energy to fathom this parasitic personality type, it's frustrating to realize that there's always something new to learn, former information to reassure and new doubts to be unraveled. Narcissistic people tend to say ''we all have narcissistic personality in one or other degree'' to gasligh us. To me that rigid personality type is like cancer, sure ther are degrees and types, but you either got it or you don't. There's no such thing as ''having a touch of cancer''. Be real, be alert and love yourself. Shout out to Dr. Ramani! ❤🎉🎉🎉

Dr Ramani is the best! All her books and videos are spot on

This is all so true... Deep down narc's are truly miserable and anyone in their surroundings is s to make them miserable...This is their happiness...

Dr Ramani is the one I go to for this subject. I live with a narcissist. Dr Ramani is the best❤️

I think I’ll order one dozen books ! For all my friends. As gifts

Great conversation. Important point that everyone can have an ugly moment, but narcissm is a full pattern of behavior, a full personality style. And yeah, healthy people will feel bad about their ugly moment.

Intense years of psychotherapy did change my personality but more in the sense that my real personality came too light and I flourished where as before it was held down and not available to me because of anxiety and deep, ingrained, neurosis.

This interview is so good! “They try to keep their shame and insecurities at bay and they’re not in touch with that. And if you point it out to them, they will rage at you.” This is a narcissist in a nutshell.

Actually, I got into huge chaos after I pointed out a narcissist. 😆

Vulnerable narcissism is the most insidious kind. It's damaged my mental and physical health. Whenever I talk to her about the pain she causes, she simply says I'm the reason she behaves this way.

A narcissist would often reject therapy as therapy would require self-reflection, vulnerability, and having to acknowledge their faults which is something a narcissist would never want to do as they’re things that would challenge their self-image. Taking a narcissist to therapy will only push them to flip the narrative to make it seem like you are the problem, not them.

My sister provoked me for months until I finally reacted in anger and called her "a narcissist".‼️ It turned out, doing this gave her the ammunition she needed to "prove" to other family members that I am mean, cruel, and horrible. These family members did notnask me what happened, but soon told me I was all these things and more, and I was exiled from my "family". As painful as this experience has been, it has also been a gift of freedom from this wasp nest of a family.

How many narcissists do I know? A lot. Most of the people around me are narcissists. My family of origin are narcissistic. My parents are narcissist. My father side is narcissistic. My husband is a narcissist. My In-laws are narcissistic. I have worked with a narcissist. So they are many narcissists in my life and they hijack my soul.

This is an amazing woman! She is the best at bringing us information without medical/physiological jargon. So relatable…and helping millions of people! Love her! 😊

Thank you for bringing her on the show, she is so wise and very helpful for me to reflect on my challenges with some relationships. Where I thought it was ME, I see now it may not necessarily be me. This is freeing.

Trust me, does not work to tell them they are a narcissist. I done that and I even doubt myself I was one bc he said: you are the narcissist. It’s very consumen live with someone 26:30 like this! I love Dr Ramani❤

Brilliant way Dr. Ramani tackles the questions, doubts, clarification! She is helping SO many to empower themselves. This is not about condemning narcissists, but empowering many who were being in a trap and never knew exactly what was going on and being victimized over and over again

I loooove the off-camera laughing !!😂😂

Dr. Ramani??? Let’s Gooo!!!!!

GOSO- When you know, you go. Get out and stay out.

Dr Ramani deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, she has helped me enormously over the past years and many others to understand how this personality can affect so many people.

Yes! Dr. Ramani is amazing!

I have been reminded of when I was 22 years old and went to a therapist for the first time in my life. I was suicidal and wanted to know what was wrong with me. Youngest, only girl out of 8 kids!! It was explained to me that I grew up in an alcoholic home and over the years I have learned that there’s also narcissism. Fast forward 34 years and I find myself in … a marriage with a narcissist. So grateful for videos like this. 🙏💜🙏

I think the 2nd Natalie is like a lot of people - so many of us regular folk think that we can help them, save them, or change narcissists. Plus, being a therapist who has also worked with hundreds of them as well - I know how hard it is to not only give people that feedback of “they won’t change”, it’s equally hard to BE a therapist who can’t help narcissists change, and coming to terms with the fact that personality disorders are really set, and are NOT flexible. Now I see them as a practice of acceptance, and letting go of taking on any responsibility for their bs.

There is a line in a song by Jars of Clay, which says “Blessed are the shallow for depth they’ll never find. “ As I started to internalize the truth about narcissistic partners, this song became my mantra. Gray rock technique and an exit plan are all that kept me sane.

ABSOLUTELY TRUE ! I've been ABUSED emotionally and physically, all my 40 years by an older sister ... I came across dr. Romani. and she saved my life 🙏❤

Again. Love Dr Ramani! ❤️❤️

I’ve been watch Dr. Ramani on RU-vid for years and this is one of the best and most informative interviews I’ve seen with her. I used to listen to your podcast a lot and have watched The Minimalist on Netflix many times and feel T.K. brings a great perspective to the show. Great work, team!

I love the first question. Dr. Ramani is not here to play.

This is a great interview with Dr. Ramini!!!

Agreeable Introvert.... yep, sounds about right for me as well. I can say that I am more introverted after several years of abandonment, betrayal and extreme abuse when I was in the midst of a health crisis, vulnerable and powerless to protect myself.

My like already!. Love this collab😊

Thank you for this enlightening podcast...I love your passion to help people learn about what narcissism is! You have saved me, more than you know! You are always spot on...❤

I have worked with a narcissist that ticked almost all the boxes but she could actually be caring and empathic . Though only to people she did not see as a threat or who were not relevant for achieving her goals.

Karyl McBride is the first book about daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. 15 years this has been out. You KNOW if your life has been "scarred by a narcissist". Hand it to her for being more outgoing about this subject

Oh my G this woman knows her shit, in the best way possible. Thank you Dr. Ramani. Im glad i bumped into u, u have explained narcissism in a very objective and non judgmental way.

Dr. Ramani is excellent and very precise!

Dr. Ramini is the best! Have learned so much from her.

Good point T.K. I can relate to the uncomfortableness that people may not change with these characteristics. Especially when it's a family member, I share your thoughts with this, (I'm paraphrasing) I may be able to reach them with the right words. Thank you for bringing this up.

Bless these two men!!! They have clearly not been touched by evil. To be in a relationship with a person with NPD is devastating!!! Surprised and glad to see Dr.Ramani in this podcast.

I meet narcisists people occasionally, or with narcisistic traces. I follow Dr Todd's channael and other channels about psichology, and I have a zero tolerance towards them. I learned a lot, they take possitive or negative fuel from you

Will always watch content with Dr. Romani. She has literally saved my life

So happy Dr. Ramani was on your show! I absolutely love her, she is my hero❤

I've been following you both for years and its awesome to see you collab!

"How their behavior that continuously hurts you, that's narcissism." Thank You Ramani. Currently in trauma therapy, healing, learning to manage C-PTSD due to recent covert narcissistic behavior abuse (2015 - Nov 2023), and past overt narcissistic abuse during preteen and teenage years, as well as childhood trauma. Currently No Contact with those who are not emotionally or physically safe / healthy for me. 💙💜🌻🎗️🤕

Dr Ramani you are so good on this. You owned it!

Excelent podcasts, always nice to listen to you

Great conversation👏🏾

Omggggg!! Can't wait for this! Love Dr. Ramani and of course what a brilliant collab!

I love your guest. Brilliant! And funny, too.

I used to use expression that now I know the psychological term for. “”It’s all fishing stories.”” You’re lending me intentions I don’t have.””

I just want to say the lighting in this video is superb.

Brilliant episode! Lots of great insights.

This is so good! My mother was married to a narcissist and it took her out mentally broke my heart.

Empaths like me are constantly attracted to narcissists and it doesnt help that i come from a narcissistic family either, y'know how easy it is when people tell you to just leave them - well is not easy when they manipulate and gaslight you, i feel like im bonded in this unhealthy emotional bond with them, that everytime i leave, they just come back to me.

Thank you . This has helped me so much.

Wow you had the legend Dr Ramani on! So powerful! Love you guys ❤

Note: on the phrase: "I'm sorry you feel that way." I can't attribute to a specific person or therapist but I am quite sure in some self-help material they suggested this phrase so I had used it. I think I know at least 2 narcissists. It feels extreme for me to label someone but at the very least we could say selfish and I would admit to being selfish at times, however...self love is needed. Or at least I think so. I could be wrong.

Dr Ramani helped me identify narcacists, I experienced things in my marriage and with my in-laws over the years and of late since my husband and I separated I saw those pattern of behavior full blown, my therapist is definitely also helping me with my healing journey

I have no idea what I went through during my marriage which had traumatic episodes until I read Dr Ramani first book . Thank you for shedding light on this and spreading the word . I was gaslighted and I simply doubt myself and went through domestic violence and minimising my self and had to change myself . I am now in the midst of separation . And I can’t wait to read her next book on how to heal from it.

I ran across this a while ago and I didn’t realize what was going on. I went to the bookstore and a book jumped out at me. The title of the book was “Narcissism”, I don’t remember who wrote it. I also read a book by M. Scott Peck titled “People Of The Lie”. Once you know what you’re dealing with it’s a game changer. I recently wrote a fiction book titled “The Fog, Erebus Narcissism in a NUTshell. Those of you that have never experienced narcissism can get insight on it through my book. I am trying to raise funds for a safe haven for narcissists abuse victims and their families.

This was fantastic!! I subscribed. Bravo😂❤

She is brilliant!

OMG YOU GOT HER ON PODCAST🥰MY FAVE PEEPS TOGETHER❤

What about a covert religious narcissist? these individuals have been hiding behind scriptures bible and the Christian lingo for years. Will not go to the doctor. the pattern of saying the same stuff. Dr. Ramani, i love how you laid out the patterns of the behaviors. I'm going back to school to study Christian counseling with a strong area of understanding narcissistic people.

I love the background laughter!

At 14:43 I like the host’s comment about the need to walk away from some people because I can no longer portray my positiveness and joy around your negativity because you bring me down more than I bring you up. This is why when my ex husband said we needed to end our relationship I just said OK.

Can’t wait for this

To Mr. T.K...Your attitude and heart to believe that a person who exhibits high narcissistic tendencies DOES have the ability to learn better ways of interacting with others., otherwise they are a true robot with no ability to self regulate. I, like you, must believe that all have choices AND abilities to change attitudes and behaviours. However...in order to prove their worth in the eyes of many, they feel the necessity for making others feel less than...thus proving their own worth. To say they cannot change is validating their thoughts of, "I don't need to change or learn other skills...I CAN'T!!" ITS just the out that allows them to remain self centered. " I can't change, therefore, you HAVE to!" We actually let them off the hook because...they are sooo good, they don't need to change. Yes, it's a twisted way of thinking. He wants me to change because I'm so weak, and I need to!. I'm not letting him off the hook so easily by patting him on the head, saying, "You can't change, bless your heart. Just keep torturing people in your life. It's not your fault." IF these people groups are willing to pay the price of never knowing what it means to be truly loved, then that is soo sad!! But I don't have to be their victim to help them feel better... In other words...it's COMPLICATED!

Wow, I'm going to get her book

What a brilliant guest, thanks for this episode!

My ex (covert narcissist), was a tall dark handsome, “kind” man, by everyone else’s standard. So they would NEVER believe me when I told them, he hit me, he called me names, he laughed at me, he withheld finances from me, he put me down, etc… I tried going to therapy with him and even the therapist was shocked at the things he was saying, like complaining that I would take too long to make a decision at a restaurant on what to eat, the therapist told him that’s not a reason to treat me the way he does… needless to say we never went back. Years later, my ex was charged with criminal offences to which he didn’t deny, and by that point I had left him for good. He tried desperately to get me back meanwhile having multiple relationships with other women (which he thought I didn’t know about)… he eventually couldn’t control what other people saw about him, his true colours were spilling and he couldn’t stop it… so he un-alived himself. I truly believe if he didn’t do that, he would’ve ended me and my kids lives as well. Narcissists CAN be VERY dangerous, be careful how to talk and behave around them, especially when alone with them.

I'm a Natalie also!!!😂 I❤u Dr Ramani. You are a light in the darkness for so many.

I realized that I'm a narcissist. But I don't want to be like this forever. It's tiring.

Thank you.

I'm enjoying the laughter, from the woman in the background. Seems to me much of what you are saying it really hitting her.

The off camera belly laughs are my fave!😂

how do we heal without being jaded? I find myself questioning everything i believed in and can't help myself but feel angry at them. i don't want to be a bitter person.

I need this book