Healing Parental Wounds: Reparenting Ourselves 

Please don’t apologise - this episode was real. Your compassion for your mother touched my heart. Thank you 🙏🏽

Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. Your honesty really helps me see that I am not crazy when I feel a certain way to my parents. It helps me see that I am not alone feeling this way.

You have NOTHING to apologize for! Breathe deep, Doc! Thank you another great and raw episode.

Thank you and sorry to hear about your mother. I relate so much to how you grew up. My mother lost her first child (2 yr old daughter) due to a tragic accident when she was 8 months pregnant with my oldest brother and it affected her the rest of her life. She died at age 49. I was born 5 years later. She was in and out of the hospital during most of my childhood. My younger brother was born 5 years after me. My mom seemed closer to my brothers than me. When I asked a therapist about this, I was told that maybe it was that she was afraid to get close to me after losing her 1st daughter. We seemed to get closer 2 years before she passed away. I was 15 years old. I have always struggled with abandonment. I hate it! Parents back then didn't seem to show affection like they do now. My dad was born in 1905. He was not a touchy feely parent. His parents divorced when he was little. He was a good provider and took on a lot of responsibility due to my mothers mental health (work, cooking dinner every day, shopping, etc.). My mother was a very caring and thoughtful person. She did take a lot of medications for sleeping, etc. I am a lot like my mother and father. I didn't get a lot of affection in childhood and struggled as a single parent showing physical affection to my two sons. I worked hard and provided for them the best way I could. That was my way of loving and caring for them. I hope that in addition to taking the time to help others, that you get what you take time to get what you need to manage what you are personally going through. Thanks again.

Great job showing up when you're going through so much. I wish your mom a fast recovery and health. I wish you all the peace that is possible during these crazy times

I really appreciate this episode. Thank you for sharing your stories with us. As I worked through the book I now understand my parents' pain, I'm starting to see why they were the way they were. I'm loving my parents more than I've ever been in my life. A slight downside to that is at the moment my inner "I must protect my parents" is somehow at a high level and I'm worried my parents are suffering as I am suffering and I feel on edge looking out for signs as I want to help. I'm struggling to have faith in my parents as adults who can look after themselves. My theory is as I'm restoring my love for my parents the old fear of losing that love and connection sprung up. I hope this is a nonlinear recovery step in the correct direction.

Thank you for this episode. You shared great information that I can use and apply to my own life. The knowledge and insight you share is helping me heal my own anxiety. I listen to your podcasts/videos throughout the week to keep me going until I have my weekly therapy session. Thank you.

AWESOME!! YOU HAVE DEFINITELY BEEN THE LAST PIECE OF THE PUZZLE FOR HEALING FROM MY CHILDHOOD (CARRIED INTO MY ADULT LIFE)!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!🙏🏻

I always hate how people that worked with my mum would tell me oh she's lovely, you're so lucky. And I wanted to shout "she's not nice to me".

Deep stuff!! Thankyou so much. I have gone through a journey of identifying abusive parents. Long journey but the deeper I go, the more pain I feel at first… then the more peace I feel.

You are super good explaining childhood trauma. I hold it in my gut. You are definitely helping me. I absolutely believe in the inner child. This young girl hiding in the corner is slowly coming out. BTW, The picture behind you is astounding and so real to me. Thank you for all you are doing and bringing out my inner child in me with the adult who loves her.

Thank you, Dr. Kennedy. My husband is dying and I have lived through his emotional, physical and mental decline. You also described my own parents and my siblings' relationships. Your insights and examples made me laugh and cry. Wonderful podcast -- the best to date. Thank you again.

Yes, you are correct! I hate my mother, have a lot of resentment toward her and I had breast cancer at 42. I truly believe my negative emotions manifested in cancer. She's still alive and it's very hard because I still have to deal with these emotions everytime I talk to her. And everyone else thinks she's wonderful... I'm trying to heal this wounded inner child.

My mother passed in January, my father is adamant to still live at home, and I certainly empathize with you. It is so difficult. I have such negative thoughts. I'm going to focus on the positive aspects of their parenting. Thank you!

You are such a gift! I am feeling so blessed I heard Mel Robinson refer you in one of her podcasts. I am going to go find your course you mentioned in another video and do it. I love your words, your voice and I'm feeling hopeful I can heal my anxiety. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your wisdom!!!❤

Thank you, as always very close to what I feel. Good to know we are Not alone. Even 5% of your sharing would be enough! 👌

Great episode! Thank you for your dedication in putting one out each week! I look forward to hearing your advice! It’s so helpful to me!

superb once again. The idea of making up the idea of having a good parent could be a lifesaver for some. Brilliant thinking.

Just discovered you on Mel Robbins podcast and I’m so grateful for all that you do. I’m really learning so much, especially about how to connect with my body and get out of my head. Totally relate to the parent stuff as well so thank you for showing up, even when you didn’t really feel like it.

This episode is so relevant to me because I'm going through something similar. My moom just passed away and my dad was moved into an Assisted Living facility. Fortunately he's in a pretty good shape still and the facility allows a bit of independence. He's such a proud man and it was an effort trying to get him to go into Assisted Living. But it seems he's ok and adjusting. Thank you for sharing your personal stories that really resonate with me.

You are such an amazing human. I’m so grateful for all your content. You are belong me tremendously. 🙏🏻 Sending so much love to you and your family. 💛

Thank you so much as this is exactly what I'm going through! I take care of my 95 year old father. I've learned so much from you. Keep the episodes coming!

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this even when you are going through a difficult time with your Mom. I can relate so much to everything you said. My Mom was a schizophrenic and had bipolar disorder. She had 6 children and was unable to be a Mother to us in anyway. I had to take care of my Mom from an early age and take on house responsibilities. She never got any help and went in and out of psychosis multiple times a year. Now that I’m older, I understand she couldn’t help any of it. I probably had the most strained relationship with her out of all my siblings most of my life. But I was the one that took care of her in her old age and Sat by her bedside when she died 3 years ago. It’s a hard thing for me to want to see any similarities between my Mom and myself, but I understand the need to find something good to focus on for my own sake.

I got you every word and emotion, same way growing up with you Dr.Russell. I’d be happy just to be able to turn on and off and aware when the alarm happens and off balance. Thank you, we are going through this together.

I loved this video dear Dr Russel K. ! You spoke totally freely and authentically, and I learnt so much from it. I was raised by a true narcissistic mother whom I have been looking after a little (as little as needed! ) since her knee operation. Her manipulative behaviour goes on to the day and so I really feel what you are saying! Thank you for your videos and your commitment * love from Carla (Austria)

Great episode, lots of crucial information I couldn’t get anywhere else this whole time. 🙏🏻thank you 😊

Thank you so much, this episode is so precious and helpful, thank you!

Thank you found you through Mel Robbins you both are a beautiful people the world is a better place for you both thanks again

Thank you for your channel, you've made a breakthrough in my anxiety understanding.

Thank u for all u do.wish ur mom gets better every day.god bless u

I have only come across your work in the last few days. You blow my mind. I wish I could meet you IRL. Well done for everything you do! 👏👏👏

Thank you for this episode and for sharing so much of yourself. Your strategy for talking to your deaf mom; going to use it!!

What a powerful episode. I was blind and you have opened my eyes.

Thank you for the effort to do this and for being a loving son who cares. Many elderly are just a nuisance to their offspring and they can be difficult. The video did not seem fractured to me.

If I may can add a note: I didn’t like cuddling and kissing as a child. However I was raised in a normal, average family. Maybe my serotonin receptors were low, weak oxytocin, a little Asperger syndrome etc. I don’t know). The thing is, that as an adult I’m still not cuddly. In the beginning of our relationship with my husband, I had to explain to him that my love-language is totally different. I know how to impress somebody acting like what I saw in my life (seeing my parents cuddling each other, romantic movies etc), but when I feel safe next to somebody, I don’t want to act anymore. He sometimes thought that I stopped loving him, however I felt “exhausted” in acting and just wanted to feel comfy together. (Wahh so much compromise.) But it works and he is kind of relaxed next to me. We still in love with each other. This is very hard to put into words. To sum up we can say, your mom wasn’t cuddly just because of the male dominance in her family. I think she was like me: not cuddly.

So Russell your experience with your parents are very similar to mine, I am 43 years old when I was young my dad had schizophrenia, I lived with my dad from the age of birth tell 13ish my mom abandoned me with him when I was 6 the trauma and stuff I went through in my childhood now as adult I’m trying to heal in the aspect of debilitating panic attacks I’m glad I found you.🙏🏻

Thank you 🙏 your videos are absolutely amazing ❤& blessings

So good, I needed to hear this.

I'm so sorry that you mom's as sick as she is and needs extended care. That must be making you feel very emotional and exhausted. Please take care of yourself throughout this, Russell. :)

Thank you, this resonates to me 100%. ❤

"All anxiety is separation anxiety " that's a powerful statement. Hmm I'm going to think on that. I get what you're saying. Very interesting.

I love this episode 💕

fantastic insight into parental relationships. i have resentment to my dad and it does affect me

@theanxietymd You are at 110%…excellent topic, just what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

I can really relate to this. Thank you.

Thank you so much!

I agree also my friends, many of them do not have great parents.

I am going to try to gibbersome opening statement technique with my mother and my husband!

Hi, I just found your channel yesterday, and I love your perspective over these topics. I'm suffering from deep anxiety due to parental alienation in the present. My two sons have turned against me, as part of the narcissistic abuse I and them are enduring from their father. There mind is totally brain washed, unfortunately, and therefore I'm beyond anxious, my heart is deeply broken. I am sharing this since I keep on coming across content helping to reduce and deal better with anxiety that was mainly caused from a past experiences. But how could I and others, deal with the anxiety caused from present bad experiences?

Thank you.

Appreciating entirely your unique viewpoint on anxiety, dr Rusty :-))... Question: was your dad health state a result of trauma...? Is bipolar depression an effect of ANS dysregulation, do you think? Thanks so much for these eye opening videos...learning from your life experience t!

It is important to see your parent as they are, excuses will make you sick. I see generational trauma in my family of origin but I can not deal with their shit and drama.

Thank you

Trust in trust! Even whit trying not to repeat behaviours we are changing Mental Code so be generouse with myself is my best selfawarness. Stop self judgment help me deal to the intangibles of Life. And please stick to it and come every week😅

Father died at 6 years old, mother died a few years later an alcoholic. I was a senstive kid. Having someone you hear you love you snd protect you ? Wth is that ? I hope i can fix this mess cause I isolated as a result and now Im 60 and Im in a real scary unhealthy situation .

First, thank you so much for sharing all this knowledge, your videos have been helping me tremendously ❤️ i have a question though (and if you've talked about this in a video already, direct me there pls): I've forgiven my parents for the way they raised me and I totally understand why they did all they did, they didn't know any better. I kind of want to build a better relationship with them but I don't know how... we are all very cold and not very loving and I'm trying to change that about me, but I can't change that about them... even hugging feels weird. What should I do? Should I just 'imagine' a better relationship with them, will that do the trick? Thank you so much ❤️

Much love to you. Could i ask do yu have a video on your parent and other older family members who have had high anxiety, grandfather had ptsd from ww2, auntie had electric shock treatment and my mum agrophobia. Im 50 and was brought up to avoid any anxious thoughts or feelings as they will ruin yur life on some level so i tried so hard with effect for 40 years to avoid high anxiety. Then i injured my back and was anxious about the recovery. I can remember thinking this is it youve let it in and now youre doomed etc. Do you have any videos on how your families beliefs can influence and affect my beliefs? Many thanks

Thank you. Did your father not take his medication as he should have? I'm just curious. Trying to fight my own mental health decline when I get older

When I talk to my inner child it triggers chest pain. Should I keep trying?

I grew up badly abused and there was almost no physical touch outside of abuse. So, what is healthy physical touch?

You remind me of myself ❤️‍🩹

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I wish you could help me with my anxiety I suffer everyday I also have a son with autism so it’s hard

You are really helping me❣️❤️‍🩹🙏