Helping the Inner Child Process Grief 

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"You just need to get over it" I hear that phrase and want to explode.

Thank you for this. I'm 71 years old and still carry all this. I have such a good life, yet I feel badly and unworthy.

My father died in May we were estranged most of my life - Abandoned & lack of unconditional love had many toxic relationships with men throughout my life looking for the ‘father figure’ fix!! So I began to heal my inner child..... at 50!!

Inner child schema is dichomotous and personalized. We need to train the inner child to 1) tolerate emotions such as anger, 2) problem solving 3) Set boundaries 4) Communicate our needs instead of pushing people away and creating barriers

Nobody ever taught me about recognizing, understanding and regulating my emotions. Both my parents had full time jobs and whem they came home the last thing they wanted to do was talk to me and teach me anything. They made nice pieces of furniture

This gave me a better understanding of schemas in relationship to unmet needs and the inner child.

How to help the inner child grieve starts at 19:08

Thanks you so much for this. This seems to fit and cross from what I have experienced from having narcissistic parents. Not that they were narcissists themselves per say of diagnosis with NPD but I feel inherited, learned, defensive mechanisms and adopting from or adapting to these toxic relationships that the parents before them most likely suffered from to at the hands of an older uneducated generation to these things. We have made big strides and you are doing world changing and people loving work. Blessings

I am so thankful for your videos. They are very well done. I'm an ACofA but I also have struggled with alcohol and binge eating (when I quit drinking). I have severe abandonment issues and have also wondered "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME" for years. I never had therapy because "I wasn't raised that way" and I have been lost for years trying to 'fix' myself. Your videos have helped validate my feelings and behaviors and help me to move forward. Thank you 🙏

Truly one of the most informative videos I’ve listened to. I’m listening to the linked video now. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!! 🙏🏼

You are such positive light in this existence. Thank you for everything, I got one of your books now, the journey to recovery. May you be blessed always Dr.Snipes. 🌻

This is a lot of new vocabulary for me: IC, schema, somatic… , etc.

When all of my childhood trauma started to leak out , the first part was an ongoing memory of the physical abuse. When I raised it with my parents my mother said ' oh just forget about it, ' like it was some trivial inconsequential thing. Infact, the abuse was life changing and devastating. I later discovered my mother is and was a gaslighting covert narcissist.

You are a priceless resource on youtube-thank you for sharing your gifts with us on this platform.

Wow, thank you! This will be invaluable for my conduct towards my children ❤️❤️❤️

This video was extremely healing for me thank you so much Doc Snipes, God has used you majorly in my healing process and I am forever grateful 🙌🏻😊🎉

Love how you do this from your heart! Thank you for all u do! I learned about myself because of you.🤗

This video is an add-on to the first video I did on Healing the Inner Child: Cognitive Behavioral strategies to Address Trauma and Abandonment ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-IKJPtpaNP2A.html

Fabulous and comprehensive work. Thank you. It must be said that there is sometimes too much expectation placed on the inner adult to know or have the right responses for the inner child. That adult is not fully developed because of the trauma so it doesn’t know or have the skills to heal the child. I believe the inner child and the inner adult must commune in their own mutual language, and that’s often not a very clear or effable phenomenon. Things like inner adult asking the IC what she needs is easier said than carried out with care or finesse or with enough skill or engagement. I think this dialogue is an untapped part of the healing process and merits more attention from professionals like yourselves.

Great video, Dr Snipes! Could you do a video of how to overcome complex trauma in adulthood and how to heal from it? I've had back to back trauma the past 10 years with not enough time in-between to heal.

Thank you so much for these videos. You’re educating me and helping me to understand and heal myself.

Thank you.. very insightful.. This will help heal me in many ways... problem solving. I was a child forced to see situations no child should. My first memory is my dad beating my mom at 4 while holding her hand. Long term affect Causes a wounded child. I also grew up fast caring for myself n brother bc my mother wasn't able to provide mental n emotional security n still cant

Thank You ❤‼️ I’m tryin heal my inner child;: At Age four 4 aa drunken drive caused d an a accident that massacred four people -my 10 year old sister pushed me & saved my life, I had an open head injury and compound fracture on my L-tibia. One lady lost her 2 yr old baby, hr husband and she was carrying a 6 month old in her womb-she was left paralyzed. As for my sister she was carried away trapped by the back tire, her body parts were dragged through the tire & left though out the sidewalk. injured 3 people- Myself, my mother and the woman that lost her entire family and was left paralyzed on account of a spinal injury. Six months later my mother died too-I was five years of age. My father ( a man I barely knew as he and mother had a love affair) My grandmother called and I was forced to go live alone with him. As a musician, he would leave me alone at nigh that was very scary for me. In a month ashen I arrived from schools woman & baby I found in our kitchen. This was to be my new mother. I was forced to call her mother and that began the torture for the entire aspect of my life, the psychological issues are made worse as now stepmother is a “ saint” . As I was not allowed to grieve for my two loved ones. My mom had another daughter, she was killed 2 years later by her abusive wife beater. As I was torn away from anyone that was related to my mother I became lost. In a world of meanness & physical & psychological abuse. I ran away many times, the last time I never returned. I joined the United States Air Force. That’s another story. Overall, at 66, perhaps I’m running away again-I’m moving to Mexico to be AWAY FAR AWAY from any more disrespect from the “ Family” as I was never adopted, they call me the “bastard” and that I a whore just like my mom. Their mom is a “saint” as she refutes any mistreatment of me. Also, my daughter had abandoned me as no one ever treated her bad. So, do you give ZOOM appointments? I believe I want to grieve but can not. I don’t trust anybody, and I choose to isolate as that is what I have learned.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️🙏

I felt lost alone never bonding with my mom trying to find my place in the world with no security and no emotional attachments to anyone who which I needed that as a young child

Thank you for helping me put words and definitions to feelings that I’ve had for my entire life. You have unlocked core memories that were traumatizing, but now I can analyze them and can process it. I love the potential activities to do that you provide, like writing letters to someone who hurt you, and going from grade to grade and really diving more into it. Thank you so much

I’ve been on my inner child journey for a while now but your videos are very very helpful especially this one Letting the Inner Child Grieve, love it, thank you 🇦🇺

Thank you Dr snipes. I appreciate you x

It's a very interesting to learn about learned Behavioral aspects and how they go into the adulthood learned survival instincts and how they manifest and go over to the adulthood

Thank you Hope Hailey

Thank you Dr. Snipes. I relate to so much of what you said here. The feeling of guilt (everything is my fault) I carry that on today. Not having my feelings validated, I still get angry today. Even so, there is so much that I am not aware of. Yes, I'm afraid of getting in touch with my inner child. I have been taught that through meditation I can get in touch with my inner child. Your video has been very helpful. Thanks again.

I hear videos like this one and find them very triggering because they are so true in my case and I resonate with almost every point being made. I did save this one and will listen to more of yours however just because I am trying very hard to heal my inner child. I also need to know to function in the world today because I’m realizing that a lot of my issues, addictions and problems stem from my traumatic childhood.

You are very well informed and make great videos many will benefit from. Thank you for taking the time to put these together.

This is super helpful and tangible. Thank you so so much!

You are amazing Dr. Snipes! Thank you for your amazing videos!

I’m trying to get in touch with my true feelings and reparent my inner child. I’m trying to reduce my fractures from a lifetime of gaslighting experiences throughout my entire childhood.😂❤

You continue to produce excellent work. Thank you for posting this timely video.

You’re an angel. Thank you do much 🙏🌺

Great teaching thank you Doc Snipes 🙌🏻🌞

I am orphan and survivor of child and adolescent abuse, it has been an ongoing process..came to terms I don't belong anywhere

Thank you..Barbara Russell

This resonates with me so much! 💕

Good morning from Barbara G

Exactly what I needed

Thank you. This is very helpful. ❤

Thanks Doc Snipes ❤️

Love the format. Lovely seeing you talk. Beautiful helpful information. Thank you very much ❤

Such a necessary video thank you. ❤️

Thank you 💚💚💚

Thanks for your videos I can’t stop crying, this is really help heal me…

Thank you so much for this information. This is very helpful 🙏🏻

Thank you for this

Thank you so much 🧡

Thank you

Your videos are really high quality and helpful. Thank you

Can’t wait! It’s going to be so helpful!

Looking good doc Snipes.

so informative . thankyou .

Danke!

Thank you for everything you do, I’m so grateful to have found you. I wish they had therapist like you around here so I could really work through some things❤️

Thank you soo much ❤

❤ Thank you ! You are amazing 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

There's a great breathing device out there that you can change the resistance on that increases lung capacity, but also allays the stress response or feelings of panic.

Love this 🦋 thanks.

i nearly didnt watch this because inner child work has never worked for me in the past, and a lot of activities can be offputtingly sentimental-like imo, but this is the real deal, i am amazed at how it explains a bit towards my lack of ability to show initiativeup or speak up in m childhood about all sorts of things - i shall watch this all the way through when i have the time, and try to read piaget.

I feel so seen and understood omg

Your awesome. Thank you So much ❤

Thanks!

I will try to listen to the rest of this later.. This is good stuff..

I really want to thank you so much,your videos are super helpful and very useful.

I really like how you put the bullet points and text up on the left side of the screen.

This resonated so much. Severe childhood emotional abuse and neglect, bullying, rough environments and upbringing surely does everything you speak about here to an individual. So glad to finally have a roadmap on how to heal. Thank you thank you thank you! Your videos will really make my therapy sessions more worthwhile. I'm curious what you think about Homecoming written by John Bradshaw. Be well!

Hello from little Dana☀️

Thanks

Good Morning from Curtis M.

Helpful 😊

22:03 Secure attachment Mnomic (in random order) *CRAVES* C-Consistency R-Responsivenes A-Attention V-Validation E-Encouragement S-Support

We empathic people are powerful in the world of corruption/narcissists.

Haha. “Get over it”. I wish I was even acknowledged on that level. No one even knew my pain. I was a chair to push around and unleash anger onto that’s it.

Why would one want to learn how to grieve? It is easy, meaning and purpose on the other hand is not as simple.

I like what you did with the thumbnails. You where asking questions about that last year.

I had a very traumatic childhood. I'm 53 and it was only about 10 years ago I started to try to understand it. I still suffer and all I ever hear is I need to let it go. For some reason I can't. I constantly think of particular events that crushed me. It has consumed me. I want to get help and I don't know how or where to start.

Barbara H here

❤️❤️

I'm having a hard time and I'm suffering with PTSD because people keep trying to trigger me and just abusing me I've dealt with a lot of abuse already all my life mentally physically and verbally. I'm tired. I don't really have anyone to speak about these things with either. I try talking to family but I don't want to burden them.

22:05 CRAVES - secure attachments.

Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com. Based on this channel's videos and the proceeds support our continued mission to make these resources available.

Think of the military child who moves every year or two (losing home, neighborhood, school, friends, favorite places and foods). Who experiences many temporary losses of a parent to deployments. Who loses a sense of safety as a result of a parent being put at risk in combat and from a greater knowledge of conflicts and dangers in the world. Who may lose a parent or the parent of a friend to training accidents or combat. Who is expected to not have any anger, grumpiness, fussiness, loneliness, grief, or fear. Who must be a cheerful trouper to relieve parents of the need to deal with the emotions of the child, as the parents have considerable stressors of their own to deal with that take priority. Military children are brave, resilient, adaptable, experienced with many places and cultures and types of people, able to respond quickly with problem solving in a crisis, quick to make friends, and make the most out of experiences. Military children sacrifice much to help achieve the mission of keeping the country safe. We should celebrate them as much as we do those actively serving or veterans. Adults who grew up in this environment are likely to have an inner child who has a lot of grief to process.

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🖤🖤

Coolness

I would like to add to the anger, anxiety, guilt/shame and grief IC feelings which is feeling unloveable. Or perhaps shame should be replaced by feeling unloveable. Bc then that automatically provokes the adult to help the IC feel loved.

This is making lots of senses CRAVES please write what that stands for here 🙏

Dr. Snipes, do you know of programs that do live group therapy in which the process you have described in this video.

I was just throw smack into the box and my brain is rejecting it and my body is reacting to it.

❤️🌹🕊

Im a new subscriber thankyou for your content, as a screwed up adult mentally, emotionally, physically....It is very tough for me to have romantic relationshps, they have either been platonic, third party or rejection, with only one "serious relationship" lasting only 1yr 5 mnths...which I had to end due to multiple ghosting times......I wish there could be a magical pill to remove all of that BS that lingers even with Counseling Thrapy, pills what ever.....the past just does go away....😞😡

As a child, whenever I was upset with my narcissistic, diabolical father, I was dumbfounded by his speech impairment/bizarre behavior!

I have DID and have inner children.

I've herd so many times kids r supposed to be seen n not herd, rejected time n time again. I want to heal n forgive I was supposed to be n abortion, rejected so many times. My inner child was met w nothing time n time again. My brother was met w acting out.