Heroes of the 41st Millennium - Commissar Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

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Script Writers:
Takahata101
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Alfabusa
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Soundtrack (including main theme) by:
OfficioAudiorum
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Art by:
Garrot
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RudeRubicante
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Gods-and-Kings
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Video Editor:
Alfabusa
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Takahata101 as Ciaphas Cain
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Karl the Deranged as Marneus Calgar
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Pr0bait as Jurgen
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xbubblemunkx as Guardsfan 1
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D. Tyler Fultz as Guardsfan 2
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Takahata and Alfabusa as random assorted guardsmen screaming and singing
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4 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 8 тыс.

@alfabusa 4 года назад

THANKS to OfficioAudiorum for the disgustingly good music in this video. Please, I insist, go and check his stuff out and ABSORB the atmospheric 40k music into your BRAIN. ru-vid.com And, OF COURSE, big thanks to the boy himself, Takahata, who decided to actually spend time creating this script. I am happy to have been given the chance to release an essay touching on the destructive condition of acute imposter syndrome on youtube.com. You truly are Hero of the Imperium. ++ THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: No this is not EP29, it's still in the works, am working on the Magnus scenes right now ++

@garank4971 4 года назад

1st

@rogaldorn8394 4 года назад

Thanks for the video and the update

@ShinGetsu857 4 года назад

The simple fact you are working on our Red Chicken Boi scene makes me happy.

@YulePog 4 года назад

Look at that 7 times damned chin, you could summon Angron with that one skull alone.

@facelessidiot6407 4 года назад

This is beautiful!

@phamthienphuc3951 4 года назад

regular virgin Commissar: _shot his owned soldier to raise troop morale_ Commissar Ciaphas the Chad: _Shot himself, missed and hit the enemy general instead, raise troop morale_

@cheebmcweeb3241 4 года назад

He did try to shoot him self when the Eldar slaver was trying to take him back to comorrah and when she tried to save him she was killed by tyranids.

@adamsteele23 4 года назад

I can see it happening.

@phamthienphuc3951 4 года назад

@@cheebmcweeb3241 you confuse me at the "Dark Eldar save someone" part @ _@

@Warhamer116 4 года назад

@@phamthienphuc3951 can't bring the hero of imperium into comorrah to be tortured for fame and prestige if said hero of the imperium gets eaten by tyranids

@cheebmcweeb3241 4 года назад

Exactly, he also flooded the webway with tyranids as a happy side accident.

@KillTeamHungary 3 года назад

Tzeench: okay watch this shit - Im going to take all the luck of these Lamenters and give it to this Ciphas dude! This is gonna be fcking hilarious!,

@bthsr7113 3 года назад

... Sounds about right.

@Jampolo_OG 3 года назад

Now I want to see Cain teaming up with the Lamenters during one mission except he doesn't know what chapter they're from and treats them like he would a regular Space Marine And then he learns those were the Lamenters and goes "whaaat? no way, I was told they were cursed"

@surimonizarro9791 3 года назад

@@Jampolo_OG this needs to happen now so they can have a win!

@lazarus9165 3 года назад

@@Jampolo_OG I imagine the lamenters freaking at their sudden change in luck. Basically looking around like "wtf our luck is never this good, oh sanguinius when's the other shoe gonna drop?" and Cain is just like "they're awfully jumpy for asartes aren't they."

@BrenTenkage 3 года назад

to be honest knowing the demonic god he totally would do that...hell he might be in agreement with the Emperor to do that just to see what happens LOL

@BaronVonMott 4 года назад

Ciaphas Cain: the walking personification of "Task Failed Successfully"

@tannermatthews519 4 года назад

Him and Tanya would get along swimmingly

@weldonwin 4 года назад

I prefer to think of him as the Living Saint of Luck and Charm

@absolutelyyousless7605 4 года назад

Blessed by the Emperor with the power of infinite respawns (even if Cain himself doesn’t know it)

@CBRN-115 4 года назад

@@weldonwin I swear, he stole the entire Imperium's luck for himself

@Raum2901 4 года назад

@@tannermatthews519 Who? Tanya from shoujo senki or Tanya from command and conquer red alert?

@Demon_Decken Год назад

"god I am such a piece of shit!" -Cain while strangling a hive tyrant to death to save a baby

@the-other-guy8991 Год назад

"Because that's what a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM is supposed to do." -Cain, probably.

@PurpleH4z3 Год назад

@@the-other-guy8991"if i didnt jump inside the mouth of the hive tyrant with only a granade and a knive to save that baby, that baby would never grow to be a guardsmen and act as a meat shild for me" - cain doing mental gymnastics

@kuritmanok9174 Год назад

Cain facing off a hive tyrant to save the baby...and still somehow think its the cowardly thing to do. XD

@riven5677 Год назад

ok bear with me but did Cain actually did something like that

@the-other-guy8991 Год назад

@@riven5677 He did! Admittedly, he used a (edit: chain of exploding) Pyrovore to blow it up, and had a couple squads helping him take them down, but yes, he has killed a Hive Tyrant, even saved a squad and a young commisar doing so! -The Last Ditch

@krzysztofbartczak3834 4 года назад

Bruva Alfabusa when depicting other 40K characters: grossly exaggerate them for comedic effect. Bruva Alfabusa when depicting Cain: 100% canon compliant.

@chaoticsky106 4 года назад

I mean, not really? Cain is pretty self-interested, he doesnt really have the kind of crushing self hatred shown here.

@GAnonymusG 4 года назад

@@chaoticsky106 He actually does have a good amount in every line in every book.he pretty much never breaks down though. Him always smiling or making a frown is as bad as the books would show it even as he was under effect of necron pariahs.

@TheFeyd 4 года назад

@@chaoticsky106 he doesn't have self hatred. But he is totally terrified that someone might find out he is actually a coward.

@sessy01 4 года назад

@@TheFeyd And for all that, he is much more calculating than just some blubbering crybaby breaking down in his office. He knows how to manipulate morale in his officers, he's an insanely good chainsword duelist that he'll take down a chaos marine of khorne while shouting " HARRIERS FOR THE CUP!" single-handedly, can navigate damn near any tunnel system underground from his upbringing in a hive world, and said "no way, fag" to a slaaneshi cultist turned demon after she came back from the dead and plagued him with nightmares.

@320466 4 года назад

true that, hear hear takes a swig of amasec

@guardianofthetoasters2323 4 года назад

Calgar: mood kindred? *ULTRA DEPRESSION CURED*

@DeinosCZ 4 года назад

Damn that made me almost cry for Calgar he has finally found someone to talk to.

@alduin4226 4 года назад

Lol

@guardianofthetoasters2323 4 года назад

@@DeinosCZ they are both suffering from success

@TheKlink 4 года назад

@@guardianofthetoasters2323 a truly terrible affliction.

@telenNG 4 года назад

Never a truer statement has been said XD

@EmberBright2077 Год назад

Commissar Cain even made up a monologue about being a fraud to help that Space Marine open up to others about his troubles. Truly, a hero of the Imperium.

@jesusojeda7850 Год назад

That's not a "space marine"- that's Marneus Calgar, the chapter master of the ultramarines, among other titles. He's to the average space marine what a space marine is to the average human.

@tobster9567 Год назад

@@jesusojeda7850 exgerating a little bit

@sithisarcanis Год назад

@@jesusojeda7850 Before the Calgar comic book ruined him.

@berilsevvalbekret772 11 месяцев назад

@@sithisarcaniswhy? I didn't read the comic?

@sithisarcanis 11 месяцев назад

@@berilsevvalbekret772 calgar got killed and some dweeb initiate took his identity.

@wursthaendler2825 Год назад

This man died of Old Age in 40K, survived battle against literally every enemy faction, won a 1v1 against a traitor space marine and perhaps most impressively got laid with an inquisitor. Truly a legend.

@kriegertechpriest7011 Год назад

And a techpreistess

@josephcometa1992 Год назад

And survived bedding a slanneshi cult leader who became a daemon prince and she still say's he's her best sex partner ever.

@Kenny1one_2 Год назад

@@kriegertechpriest7011wait what

@kriegertechpriest7011 Год назад

@@Kenny1one_2 Yeah he banged a techpristess apparently

@Nempo13 Год назад

His relationship with Amberly lasted over a hundred years. It is canon they boned like rabbits whenever they were stationed near one another. She is also the one who kept getting him authorized for rejuvenation treatments. Though she isn't authorized or high enough to get her hands on the REALLY good ones for others, even her own aren't the best. Those two legit cared for one another, but weren't allowed to show true care or they would have been separated permanently.

@gryphonofmight 4 года назад

A reminder, The Emperor is aware of Cain and thinks he is a sensible individual and likes him

@n3nt2nd464 4 года назад

I would totally would love to see a vox podcast were they invite him over its were cain tells the truth

@justindupras9996 4 года назад

@@n3nt2nd464 A round table of Commissars.... The emperor summons members of the Commissariat to get a better idea of the morality and tactics of the Imperial Guard and a run down on what happened to the Imperial Army. Yarrick, Holt, Cain, Gaunt, and Fucklaw in a room arguing about the best way to "Inspire" the troops! @bruvaalfabusa I NEED this!

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

What about Kubrick Chenkov?

@jr12471247 4 года назад

Cain: I'm just as surprised that worked as the rest of you, stop worshiping me! Emperor: Same.

@dp101 4 года назад

Source? Or just a joke?

@barthvader95 4 года назад

I like the little touch of Cain being worried that his failures will actually _hurt other people._ The poor bastard.

@the.nerd.knight2078 4 года назад

only commisar that thinks that way

@CBRN-115 4 года назад

Godamn, what a noble soul. He needs a medal for that too

@VioletDeathRei 4 года назад

@@the.nerd.knight2078 Well I mean Ibram Gaunt also cares.... if it's specifically his men.... at least his men who aren't complete ***** hats anyway.

@tenacityxl 4 года назад

jackson kye Granted, Ciaphas Cain has a lot more men than Gaunt and his Ghosts.

@Warptenlololol 4 года назад

@@the.nerd.knight2078 Laugh in Gaunt.

@GuukanKitsune 4 года назад

The Cycle of Cain's Life: -is assigned to a dangerous front -triumphs over enemy while only trying to save his own ass. -can never tell anyone all his 'heroics' were actually selfserving attempts to save his own skin or he'll be executed for cowardice, so accepts mantle of hero reputation. -uses success accolade to quietly reassign himself to a world/assignment that seems safe and he can reasonably expect to while away the rest of his lifetime of service drinking amasec and playing regicide. -formerly safe world/easy assignment unexpectedly becomes dangerous front, and due to his reputation, everybody turns to him. -repeat cycle. This cycle continued EVEN AFTER HE RETIRED.

@iglidor 4 года назад

But you must give it to him, that when everyone turns to him for help, he ussualy has pretty good idea what to do and how to save things (mostly because by that he is also saving his own hide)

@bairdrew 4 года назад

TBF it probably continued after he died and was buried w/ full military honours, and just by having his name on the roster whole worlds were saved.

@qwefg3 4 года назад

He has been listed dead 3 times already. Now they just lost him as Missing In Action because they do not know when he will appear when everything looks from before surviving what is trying to kill him... Which ends up killing the problem for everyone else.

@harbingerofcrazy5189 4 года назад

i can picture it clearly, in his testament he wants his mortal remains buried on a nice peacefull world, and to honor this heros last wish the administratum actually tries, but every time they burry him the dig up a necron tomb or something.

@TowaruTsura 4 года назад

@@bairdrew It did. The Administratum actually kept his account open EVEN AFTER HIS CONFIRMED DEATH just in case. It's still gathering money.

@coldfusion1679 Год назад

“Man, guess I better fight this ork warboss in melee combat and kill him so no one sees through my totally undeserved reputation of heroism” - Ciaphas Cain, Death or Glory

@fuchsmichael93 8 месяцев назад

Oh Sht, theres a Space Marine of the Worldeaters charging at me but there are Soldiers of another Regiment watching. I better defeat him just with my Sword or they think i lied. Traitors Hand

@superjj1850 8 месяцев назад

Fueled by faith and social anxiety!

@richardconstante6486 6 месяцев назад

@@fuchsmichael93of fvck, the patriarch of a genestelar cult is trying to kill me, but this Hot blonde is looking at me I must kill it so she Will belive im a hero and then I can bed her (turns out she was an inquisitor)

@gatordragon6140 6 месяцев назад

This is why i love cain, its literally just imposter syndrome because he of all people in the imperium deserves the title of hero along with malcador

@hugovandyk9918 5 месяцев назад

@@gatordragon6140 Do words make a hero or deeds?

@emreerdem5165 4 года назад

And let's not forget how he bravely screamed like a little girl while running to make himself seem like an easy target and bring more attention on himself. Truly heroic.

@kp6378 4 года назад

Indeed! It was his wild screaming that distracted the Carnifex from assaulting the Orphanarium. He then cleverly fell back behind a ruined manufactorum, baiting the Carnifex to charge through. The manufactorum collapsed, crushing the Carnifex and it's warriors, and saving all the orphans. Hooray Ciaphas Cain!

@Matihood1 4 года назад

@@kp6378 The entire manufactorum??? That's a lot of collateral damage...

@nightflash4782 4 года назад

@@Matihood1 Its fine i heard that the collapsing manufactorum not only took out the carnifex and its warriors but also a hidden cult that were hiding in its basement! Truly Ciaphas Cain is a hero!

@Asayano 4 года назад

@@nightflash4782 That cult was found out to be holding out on an STC fragment that could give the Guards an edge in the battlefield though! It was a canteen that kept all rations fresh, warm, and keep that manofactorum chemical preservative smell! Give a cheer to Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!

@andressotil4671 4 года назад

@@Asayano CI CI CIAPHUS CAIN!!! HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!!

@bmpixy Год назад

Calgar being the one to witness Cain's breakdown is just another stroke of the man's incredible luck in surviving impossible situations. Of all the possible space marines to witness his self-deprecation and incredible imposter syndrome, it was the one who knew exactly what he was going through.

@thebighurt2495 10 месяцев назад

I hadn't even thought about that

@createdmanpainting 8 месяцев назад

Very on brand 🤣🤣

@gatordragon6140 5 месяцев назад

What ever do you mean? He clearly put on that display to make sure calgar felt at home and to comfort him

@kentonbaird1723 4 месяца назад

The man SIMPLY cannot lose!

@biostar4 24 дня назад

Is Calgar similar to Cain? I mean is he also a coward or incredibly lucky?

@aveioacosta371 4 года назад

Its funny because this is only SLIGHTLY exaggerating this mans life. It's not even plot armor at this point, the mans got a plot baneblade.

@frenchsoldier8485 4 года назад

No, a Plot Emperor-Class

@HubiKoshi 4 года назад

He exists for the amusement of the Chaos Gods and/or the Emperor so of course he has protection!

@viyhexe131 4 года назад

He is where the luck of the entire Lamenters chapter got transplanted to.

@Raithul 4 года назад

To be fair, while there is obviously some luck (good and bad) involved in the situations he finds himself in, he's harder on himself internally than is actually justified. To all his protests, he does genuinely risk his life for his troops when the chips are down, and he is a fantastic sword-fighter and absurdly good at inspiring his men's bravery and getting the best out of them - which is pretty much exactly his job. When the video calls it "Imposter Syndrome", I think it hit the nail right on the head - I think he honestly deserves far more of his victories, praise, and accolades than he himself believes he does.

@dndhat 4 года назад

Aveio Acosta while there is a bit of plot Titan at his back, he is also a shockingly competent officer, master swordsman, motivational speaker and tactician. Part of his charm as a character is his imposter syndrome making him a far from reliable narrator. You can read him as a fraud, like he sees himself, or you can see him as a brilliant commander who is his own worst critic.

@Octopugilist Год назад

I love the bit in one of the books where Cain and his men are making an almost certain last stand, and Cain ponders how his men can fight so well knowing they're almost certain to die. Any sane soldiers would break ranks and run for it, or curl into a ball and cry. Yet they fight on as fearlessly as if victory was a sure thing. He never even considered that they were fighting that hard because HE WAS THERE WITH THEM

@Nempo13 Год назад

Cain has had several of those last stand fights...Amberly comments on one of them that he doesn't understand just how much his troops believe in him.

@Jebu911 Год назад

Well his humble attitude helps him not to be corrupted by chaos If he thought he was the hottest shit after emperor slaneh might corrupt him

@craxnor Год назад

"It's ok! We can win this! As long as Commissar Cain is here! Hope is not lost. For The God-Emperor!"

@thebighurt2495 Год назад

@@Nempo13 She even comments one time on how absolutely devastated Valhallans everywhere would be if word got out Cain was KIA

@danniluxgarbe429 Год назад

@@Nempo13 What's even better is when he makes a SECOND "last stand" on the same planet, in the same valley, 100 years later.

@sub1optimal325 4 года назад

Ciaphas Cain the personification of “holy shit did I do that”

@Zerpderp0 4 года назад

Calphais Cain is the personification of, "why yes, I did just roll all of those 6's against an Ork Warboss" (Honestly wished I knew more about Warhammer gameplay)

@buttahXD 4 года назад

@@Zerpderp0 you're actually fairly close on, lmao

@Zerpderp0 4 года назад

@@buttahXD yay!

@Cain597 4 года назад

He's the blackadder of 40k

@mannofdober873 4 года назад

@@Zerpderp0 Why yes, I expertly rebounded that dice off that building, knocking your pathetic Warboss over, not only breaking the actual model, but scoring that full D6 damage roll, instantly killing said now-broken Warboss. Actually the dice just slipped but whate-

@Willqer 4 года назад

The joke of this episode is, there is no joke. That's literally how Cain and others around him behave. Humblest hero=coward=brave man of the Imperium.

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

He also has common sense too that Big E approves

@iglidor 4 года назад

So tough and acomplished that even when they have his dead body in front of their eyes and are buring him, they still keep him on active roster on the off chance that he may still somehow pop up somewhere alive.

@azariyelvarro6271 4 года назад

@@iglidor Considering that resurrection happens occasionally in 40k, I could see him rising from the grave at some point.

@Ardelanin 4 года назад

@@iglidor mostly because the administratum, in their infinite beaurocracy, had had to go 'oh. so he's actually not dead. well. that's 4 years of records down the drain again' that they instituted an active policy of just keeping him on the books regardless of whatever other news they received.'

@jalpat2272 4 года назад

@@azariyelvarro6271 i could only hope his partner would be cute jurgen descendant.

@ulric8445 4 года назад

“Invisible Orks” Thus supporting the fact of never seeing a purple ork before

@internetzenmaster8952 4 года назад

Alright, who let the Blood Axes have access to purple paint pots again?!

@silvertrimhill9844 4 года назад

Internet Zen Master BAD MOONZ: DEM BLOD AXE’Z GOTZ LODZ A TEEF

@masterblasterT47 4 года назад

The actual reason why no one has ever seen a purple ork is because they always gets eaten by the tri horned seven winged flying purple ork eaters before anyone can lay an eye on them.

@jalpat2272 4 года назад

@Hoàng Nguyên but where they got Ultraviolet pigments so violet it invisible ,must be lost stc

@TheOriginalRaxin 4 года назад

Based on the fate of the celestial lions I would say such orcs wear black. And use sniper rifles. And rhyme with mindicare bassassins.

@RandomVideoCommenterOME 3 года назад

The way Cain just instantly accepts that Calgar is also a 9th tier bullshitter and breaks down in his arms is so perfect, I really wanna see this dynamic more in future,

@503WE Год назад

No lo sabia 🫠

@1FrogCommander Год назад

And thus Cain earned not only the respect of the ultramarines but the entire ultima segmentum by proxy

@paragon1150 Год назад

Whose gonna tell em

@fulcrum2951 Год назад

Cough*

@littleaqua32 Год назад

They are mood kindreds, after all. 😊

@aaronbosen6743 4 года назад

The worst part about Ciaphis Cain? He's a genuine hero, and *that's* what makes his life a sad joke. That he alone of all people can't see himself for what he truly is. Maybe in the beginning he might've been a coward. But he faced the enemy, head on, and fought surviving as much by his own skill and determination as by his luck and Jurgen's unrepentant hypercompetence. In the end, he hates himself for nothing more then being a human who remembers when he was terrified, but still standing up and marching forward into danger.

@HubiKoshi 4 года назад

Seriously if the Imperium had more "cowards" like Cain the enemies of the Imperium wouldn't just be on the defensive. They'd be facing extinction.

@anotherzingbo 4 года назад

True. He thinks he's been pretending to be a hero for his whole life but he doesn't realise that it stopped being an act long ago.

@roguevector1268 4 года назад

And I think that's what Amberley saw in him.

@DemonicEngineer 4 года назад

Underserved praise be damned. If his luck gives results like THAT it doesn't matter if it's intentional or not.

@robdeskrd 4 года назад

"Unrepentant hypercompetence" is worth points as an accusitory compliment- Oh, recording angels, take note & append 17,519 "silver-tongued devil" points to the resume of Aaron Bosen........ you can spend them on cool prizes in the afterlife 😁

@GoklasM 4 года назад

I like how he's still cares about his troops. Even in this failed state he's still a better commissar than 99% of everyone else.

@beastwarsFTW 4 года назад

Who's the other 1%? Sebastian Yarrick?

@constrainedanacronysm1370 4 года назад

@@beastwarsFTW Yarrick and Gaunt.

@cheeseboy8599 4 года назад

What are you saying? HERETIC

@TheArklyte 4 года назад

@Anzu Wyliei Yarrick is last survivor solely by virtue of being nigh invincible bastard. He is always in the heat of it himself instead of using his troops to defend his ass, it's just that he usually fights odds so overwhelming that competence isn't enough and he can't pull a miracle out of his ass. Put Yarrick under Creed and things will change.

@johnlavery3433 4 года назад

Meanwhile there’s Kryptman

@TafJaf 4 года назад

Cain's spirit animal is Courage the Cowardly Dog

@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302 4 года назад

"Oh the things I do for love"

@NameName2.0 4 года назад

Jesus it really is though..

@arnantphongsatha7906 4 года назад

I hate myself for not making this connection sooner.

@therasslintheatre2960 4 года назад

Ok, but what's his Stand ?

@videopolice432 4 года назад

@@therasslintheatre2960 "Staying alive"?

@Hensynslose 2 года назад

My only issue with this video is the fact that Jurgen would absolutely make an astartes chapter commander wait outside the office in the blank stank until Cain was ready for him.

@Octopugilist Год назад

You deserve more credit for Blank Stank

@alannatherson7721 Год назад

Jurgen saw right through Calgar and decided to hook up his buddy with his mood kindred.

@amatsu9826 Год назад

You are fething a god for this comment!

@midgetydeath Год назад

And only an Astartes would appreciate Jurgen's devotion to obeying his orders.

@Knalxz Год назад

I took this as Juergen already letting Calgar into the room before hand but he heard Cain having a panic attack so he burst in to be like “Yo, my dude, he’s right there!”

@Lemuria1993 4 года назад

Can't wait for Cain being dragged in into Corvus and Vulkan's crusade to save Holy Terra; after all, a proper crusade need a proper HERO OF THE IMPERIUM

@jonathanfrank1189 4 года назад

Make this happen!

@bcbc-xt3gw 4 года назад

idk, Does sly count?

@derrickzane5834 4 года назад

Friend Commissar Cain must be rewarded for his bravery with the hug of friendship!

@christopherpalazzolo9547 4 года назад

Given that Vulkan and Corvis are running a tour of guardsmen regiments. It wouldn’t surprise me if Cain appeared when they were doing one on Valhalla. Seeing as the 597th is the most well known Valhallan regiment.

@MrAwsomenoob 4 года назад

"Of course at the time i couldn't have thought of a safer place in the galaxy then behind an actual primarch. But If i had known what untold suffering and horror laid on the path to Terra with the sons of the emperor, i would have gladly led a patrol into a genestealer nest with a rusty spoon."

@xignited 4 года назад

I'll never forget the day Commissar Ciaphas Cain saved me and my family... The world was under siege from both chaos and Xenos forces. My wife had just given birth. In my arms, I held her and my newborn son. I fled towards a gunship preparing to leave knowing it was my family's only hope. I could see Commissar Cain entering the gunship. Even if confronting a commissar only meant a swifter death it was still better than what chaos and Xenos had in store. I beg him to take my wife and child. He turned to me... and ill never forget what he said "Not where I'm headed". I watched him fly higher and higher away from the battle until unseen by cloud cover... .... But It wasn't cloud cover... IT WAS A STEALTHED XENOS FLAGSHIP. Ciaphas Cain had HEROICLY piloted the gunship straight into the Xenos flagship. He then dove both vehicles down, straight into the enemy forces. I didn't even know Commissar Cain knew how to pilot a gunship much less perform such aerial maneuvers. Truly a courageous man. But it doesn't stop there! On the decent, Melta Bomb's fell from the gunship destroying the Xenos forces. Then the Xenos flagship crashed destroying a chaos ritual. After doing a barrel roll into a loop de loop Commissar Cain safely landed the now inoperable gunship and walked away without a scratch. It was then I remembered his words to me "Not where I'm headed". He wasn't rejecting my family... he was saving them. He must have planned the WHOLE DAMED THING! That day I named my son after him. Commissar Ciaphas Cain is nothing short of a HERO of the imperium.

@kgfalcon9394 4 года назад

I was there as a tank commander supporting the heroes troops. The tyranids were endless, their bio-forms ripping apart my comrades. Cain jumped into our Leman Russ and said to fall back. As we turned and fell back to the next line of defense, hordes of necrons teleported into the ranks of the tyranid armies. The two sides decimated each other, thats when the space marines arrived to pick off the scattered pieces of the two. I only wish to be the tenth of a man Commissar Cain is.

@lonelybag8510 4 года назад

I was with them with squad when that happen! it was truly a majestic sight to behold. he was with us before he went to the gunship. and piloted it to destroy the xeno flagship, we thought he had abandoned us. but I was a fool to think of that. not only did he, save us from the xeno ship. he revealed the location of cloaked eldar regiment that was flanking us, and dropped a melta charged at them. it was as if he knew they were there and dropped it on them while also taking care of the xeno flagship. and after he landed, he went back to my regiment. as we sat there in aw, he asked us frantically for a gun. obviously, he knew the fight wasn't over. and so we fought, at first i thought he was shooting randomly at the xenos. but he was actually taking care of strategic targets. AND HE ONLY HAD A LAS PISTOL ON HIM! truly, he is a man worth following even to the end of life itself.

@Asayano 4 года назад

I was only a Whiteshield when that event unfolded on Gebiss V. Hope was almost lost, what with the tyranids, eldar, and necron infesting the planet. We were beset on all sides by the enemy with nothing but a bayonet, a lasgun, and a couple of tanks and chimeras to defend the small manofactorum in the planet. We were all under the threat of death. One morning, an Ork Rokk dropped hundreds of kilometres away, but their Waaaghs! sounded closer than that. What little hope we had evaporated. That was until Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, stepped forth from an unknown bunker deep beneath the manofactorum! He was a sight for sore eyes, that man. His wide grin gave everyone, even the pessimists and the hopeless, a hint that victory was near! The first thing he said to us was to "...hold out a little longer," while he explored the bunker further, needing only a little more time to surprise the greenskins. Even though I was merely a conscript, he handed me command of my own soldiers to lead the defensive line. I was scared, I had no formal training before then, and I was afraid that I would lead these soldiers to their deaths unnecessarily! When the Orkz came with their clunky scrapped vehicles, the gun fire began. They tore through one of our tanks so easily first. Their superior firepower pinned down even our heavy guns. I was shouting orders, but it fell on deaf ears as my comrades hid in cover. In a moment of bravery or stupidity, I stood out and shot back at the Orkz to make an example... or to end my suffering as I had nothing else to lose. A couple followed suit, shooting back recklessly and without thought. We hit a couple of Orkz, but they hit back harder as they directed their fire towards us. It was then that suddenly, Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, emerged from the Manofactorum with a BANEBLADE! The roars of its 11 barrels of hell ripped and tore through the Orkz, causing them to flee!

@nervehive2768 4 года назад

*YOU BEAUTIFUL FOOLS!!*

@Cainthegodslayer 4 года назад

@@nervehive2768 indeed.

@TDM137PL 4 года назад

When the disclaimer says it's a parody, but turns out to be an accurate depiction

@VioletDeathRei 4 года назад

Truly the Hero that we deserved, not the Hero that we wanted.

@MitchellTF 4 года назад

Sandy Mitchell: *Looks at his 'invisible Ork' manuscript* *Cursing in British*

@rdubayoo 4 года назад

GW: B-but Marneus Calgar is a real hero, guys...

@christopherg2347 Год назад

Eavesdropping Guardsmen: "Did you hear that?" "Oh, ABSOLUTELY. We need to tell everyone..." "...that Cain called a Chaptermaster POS and got declared his kindred for that honesty!"

@darthmeta6445 11 месяцев назад

XD That would totally fall into Cain's range of luck.

@CidVeldoril 10 месяцев назад

Not just any Chaptermaster. Papa Smurf himself, leader of Big Blue's chapter and realm.

@ollikoskinen1 10 месяцев назад

"Ciaphas Cain has the pair of Mars Pattern Adamantium Balls Mk. 2s!"

@avroarchitect1793 10 месяцев назад

@@darthmeta6445 And no one would do anything because, if a chaptermaster wouldn't deal with it personally to his face, who has the right to do anything about it?

@error_Occurred_noNameFound 3 месяца назад

Cia-Cia-Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium!

@AzraelSoulHunter 4 года назад

Brave are not the ones that "Know no Fear". Brave are the ones that stand and fight against their fears and that's something Cain always did. He may not believe it himself, but he is true hero of the Imperium.

@오주환-b1n 4 года назад

Agreed - I’m not too into the lore, but I do know enough to be aware that the galaxy really needs people with at least half the metaphorical spine he does.

@hellatze 4 года назад

Real bravery when he feel his first fear

@Aljhaqu 4 года назад

@MrNahual2099 The world broke before the dog did...

@loremipsumdolor1288 4 года назад

That pink dog, is pretty brave for a coward, sure he screams all the time but who the heck wouldn't?

@joshmatzner9332 4 года назад

He knows that if he ends this horrible charade, thousands upon thousands of innocent imperial citizens will lose hope, further giving onto despair. So he has to uphold a lie, a blatant fraudulent piece of utter shit visiage that couldn't be further from the truth all so these people can have some scraps of hope, some tiny shreds of the idea that everything's gonna be okay. And that's what makes him a real hero.

@SiniusAZM 4 года назад

I love how he inflates like All Might to keep up appearances.

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

Makes sense he found Mood Kindred with an Ultramarine Chapter Master. PLUS ULTRA!

@superanimeniac 4 года назад

You're now aware that Takahata101 is voicing All Might in the something Witty entertainment version of My Hero Academia Abridged. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-AJHVYLKUrTw.html

@juliangardisky7236 4 года назад

@@superanimeniac PFFFFFFBAHHHAAHAHA. *FHUCKING AMAZING.*

@harrymorris2361 4 года назад

PLUS ULTRAMARINES!

@SiniusAZM 4 года назад

@@superanimeniac I now wonder if this is a direct reference.

@pivNspace 4 года назад

“And THEN he soiled himself so as to hide his scent from the impending Tyranid raid causing them to turn on the Orks, BRILLIANT”

@aprinnyonbreak1290 4 года назад

He followed that by playing dead, which he KNEW the Necron vita scanners would see through, lulling them into a false sense of security and luring them right into the secret ritual that was going to bring forth a Demon Prince, spoiling it and neutralizing both forces without firing a shot.

@johndelacruz1422 4 года назад

He really did that?!

@y.kazayaki3681 4 года назад

@@johndelacruz1422 yes hahahaha

@ianbailey4213 4 года назад

I feel like that was actually a part of one of the books.

@MitchellTF 4 года назад

@Cloier Neirmr ...Also, that time he stopped a NEcron Invasion... By flooding them with Promethum, and tossing down a VERY big match on the way down.

@korben600 2 года назад

…I just realized. Cain’s complaining that things that should kill him/out him turn out to be to his advantage, due to some freak act of luck. …the commander of the ultramarines, one of the only people in the galaxy with the authority and competency to execute a commissar of his caliber on a whim, found out he’s a piece of shit and a coward…and then reveals himself to be a kindred spirit who’s also a piece of shit, who embraces him like a brother in arms. Cain thinks his luck finally run out, when ironically this is EXACTLY the kind of situation that would’ve killed a lesser Commissar. He didn’t run out of luck, he rolled his greatest nat 20 in the entire fucking Imperium by finding a true friend.

@vitaliitomas8121 23 дня назад

And that friend is a CHAPTER MASTER

@merrittanimation7721 4 года назад

Cain should really be impressed with himself. He survived getting hugged by a Space Marine for crying out loud.

@intoxicatedbeard9635 4 года назад

Merritt Animation And the fact that he’s wearing terminator armor is even more so!

@ThatGuyUpThere 4 года назад

Meh, I will be impresed when goes through Vulkan's overfriendly hug with his bones intact.

@guyfieri148 4 года назад

@@ThatGuyUpThere in all fairness with his luck a fault in vulkans *master crafted* armour would suddenly burst and break vulkans bones, reversing the bone break, leaving cain unharmed

@ThatGuyUpThere 4 года назад

@@guyfieri148 To make it worse its plausible, He is so lucky he not only stumbled upon the probably single actual sexy tech priestress in the galaxy, but said tech priestress prefered good ol flesh to satisfy her desires instead of the regular power dildo.

@guyfieri148 4 года назад

@@ThatGuyUpThere so he managed to bang the only sexy tech priestess?

@plasmancer6104 4 года назад

Man, Ciaphas Cain is so humble he tries to put himself down as to act with more humility. Truly an inspiration to us all.

@theriveracis5172 4 года назад

This is unironically Jurgen's interpretation of him.

@horuslupercal3872 4 года назад

Make that face purple and it's Thanos Cain

@RolandTheJabberwocky 4 года назад

NOOOO STOP DOING THAT -Ciaphas Cain

@robertmartin8907 4 года назад

@Cian Abroad well, I mean, it is true. He is a total coward who under normal circumstances would have been disgraced long ago. It is only through extreme luck that he is even alive, and that his blunders make people think he is a hero.

@4thSurviver 4 года назад

@@robertmartin8907 He isn't a total coward though. You put him in a horrible situation and he will make rational decisions to ensure his survival (and his friends) rather then break down and panic and start crying on the spot. At times he will even do brave and foolhardy things because he knows he has a rep to protect. Most importantly he has an inquisitor reading his accounts and constantly chiming in to say that Cain's vision of himself is undeservedly harsh.

@GrenzRell 4 года назад

Commissar Cain has the chin of *TEN MEN*

@blob7963 4 года назад

Don't you dare insult Ciaphus Cain like that it's a chin of *ONE HUNDRED MEN*

@tcrabbe1583 4 года назад

Or 1/2 Tor Garadon

@danieljackson4577 4 года назад

And the testicles of twenty!

@MizantropMan 4 года назад

And sheer luck of a billion. Hell, I am pretty sure 40k is so grim and gritty mostly because all the good things and luck that were supposed to be administered to every living human were, by some freakish joke of the universe, linked to Cain and Cain only.

@thehalsteds 4 года назад

And 28 ads!!!!

@maniacmagge2568 2 года назад

The fact that this man *died of old age* in the 40k universe

@ngominh259 Год назад

Boosted by the fact that he was given rejuvenat treatment. He's approximately 225+ when he finally died, full military honor and such. Despite that he's still listed as "active" forever since then because he came back from apparent death so many times it constantly fraks up the Militarum's paperwork.

@utubrGaming Год назад

@@ngominh259 Living Saint Cain. Because the Emperor helps those who helps themselves.

@BraimosAI Год назад

Fear the old in a profession where men die young

@samb123078 Год назад

Did he really die though? I mean he’s “died” and come back so many times.

@jamesknighton4489 Год назад

Wrong guy

@Kemot300 4 года назад

Ciaphas Cain - The man who realise he has plot armor and that this is wrong in the 40K Universe

@fantochedollmaker7030 4 года назад

To be honest the parody goes a bit too far. Cain is lucky but never "insanely, shoot a rock to destroy an army" lucky. It's more like nobody can call out his lies because he was the only one there or something like that

@danielstephenaguilos9346 4 года назад

@@fantochedollmaker7030 nah he's luckier than the luckiest guy in the galaxy af lucky

@braith117 3 года назад

@@fantochedollmaker7030 Victory requires no explanation. Defeat allows none. That said, he did get called out by a junior commissar in one book for what she perceived as less than exemplary acts, but the tribunal of fellow commissars said he was in the right and offered to have her killed for insulting him.

@bengrogan9710 3 года назад

@@fantochedollmaker7030 Bull, He took on a fucking Carnifex with a Chainsword

@WASDLeftClick 3 года назад

Dude managed to survive when a whole squad of Necrons tried to kill him because 1. A Tech-Priest pushed him out of the way of a whole volley of gauss fire and took the hits for Ciaphas in the process. 2. He then dove into the warp portal the Necrons had used to surprise him, by actually leaping towards them. This confused them long enough that he didn’t get shot in the process. 3. It just so happened that the Necron ship the portal lead to was being boarded by a Space Marine Terminator squad at that exact moment and he popped out mere meters away from them.

@AROBASPARK 4 года назад

Finally, he found a kindred spirit in his overtly exaggerated fame.

@Marinealver 4 года назад

the entire Ultramarines Chapter

@Corax.S 4 года назад

MOOOOOOOOOD KINDRED!

@robertnelson9599 4 года назад

They can sit and cry together about how undeserving they are of their fame.

@This_side_of_the_internet 4 года назад

@@Marinealver To be fair, Papa Smurf is probably the only one self-aware among them...

@kormorgen637 4 года назад

At first I thought "wait is that some kind of Xenos that I haven't heard about?" Then all of the sudden they hug. And I'm like oh. They just feel the same way about themselves.

@Nuinwing 4 года назад

It says that this is a fan-based parody. Now where is the parody part in this?

@NameIsDoc 4 года назад

the ultra smurf admitting that he is a POS

@burningbronze7555 4 года назад

@@NameIsDoc yes

@lorenzooliveira1157 4 года назад

Eh, this is canon to everyone tbh

@jamesbailey4304 4 года назад

This is a documentary

@Ichorslick99 4 года назад

The self loathing bit is the parody. XD Ciaphus never hated himself, and he's not such a sniveling coward either. He's actually shown himself to be quite brave... if it means saving himself. XD

@AdmiralStormy Год назад

Remember, one of the reasons Cain is still alive is because his imposter syndrome won't let him get cocky

@flexprime2010 Год назад

on it, it remembers me of Rincewind

@loyal0299 4 года назад

Meanwhile on terra Rogal Dorn: Why continue this mans suffering? Emperor: because I find it hilarious. Rogal: that’s cruel father. Emperor: I have been on this throne for millennia. I will have this joke if it’s the last thing I do.

@Voriof1 4 года назад

And I heard that in Rogal Dorn's voice. Scary. And perfect. Besides, the man's getting stuff done. And he is, as the Emprah says, hilarious.

@flamingcroatan3739 4 года назад

Ah the Emperor's old tricks agian

@Wudanty 4 года назад

I want this as an actual thing made by alfabusa.

@Voriof1 4 года назад

@@Wudanty Yes, he is one of the few parts of the Imperium that is not actually on fire. It would be a definite change of pace for the current coverage of the Bombperium.

@aceofspadesguy4913 4 года назад

10 millennia*

@bray2964 4 года назад

Imagine this from the point of a guardsman. You see the massive commander of the Ultramarines enter the room in which commissar Cain stands, soon after the door closes, you hear the commander crying...

@thebighurt2495 4 года назад

I'm honestly not sure who to be more worried for. Space Marines have died both because, nearby and directly from Cain.

@Shogun0099 4 года назад

This is Jurgen, he's honestly used to this.

@fantochedollmaker7030 4 года назад

Dude that's Jurgen, he'll shrug and go "Oh my lord is crying for the Emperor, I'll go prepare some tanna and get him lunch"

@AsbestosMuffins 3 года назад

"Commisar Cain was so moved by one of the emperor's own godly warriors presenting him with the star of terra that even he, as stoic and heroic as he was, was in fact moved to tears by the honor. Naturally I felt a surge of pride swell in my own breast upon hearing him admittedly through the thick wooden door." -From 'Like a Pheonix on the Wing', Part 2 of the Memoirs of General Jenet Sulla (Ret)

@bobesponja3702 3 года назад

Jurgen be like : this is fine

@lifeispain3782 4 года назад

Warhammer 40K: The Musical is looking great.

@MagicalMaster 4 года назад

If Alfabusa did a musical I... I'd probably forget to eat and sleep with all the rewatches.

@ieuanhunt552 4 года назад

Well there is Stringstorms insane 40k themed Idol competition. Which I swear is in the same universe as TTS.

@BubblesTheBard 4 года назад

Fund it.

@aoofmg6684 4 года назад

If there will be a musical of 40k on this channel I'll surely support it!

@pclone5019 4 года назад

Someone's gonna do this now, huh?

@wyattspitz615 Год назад

My personal belief is that Cain is actually an ongoing battle between Tzeench and the Laughing God with the Tzeench constantly trying to kill him in even grander ways and the other just constantly Uno reversing it at the last second.

@thebighurt2495 10 месяцев назад

and Emps just letting it happen cause Cain keeps getting him wins. I love the idea of Cegorach actually doing something useful.

@helmutstein1178 9 месяцев назад

@thebighurt2495 let's be real, he also thinks it's funny

@hpph7133 9 месяцев назад

Draw four, ya jabbering mollusk

@crimsondynamo615 8 месяцев назад

@@helmutstein1178”oh look he’s crying again, it’s even funnier the 47th time!”

@CaptainFirespitter 5 месяцев назад

I wouldn’t even be surprised if emps is secretly paying the jester in Eldar souls to keep Cain alive and mess with Tzeentch, although I suspect he’s doing the latter for free!!! 😂

@TwinSkies 4 года назад

And yet if you read the novels, even Cain himself admits he's had moments where his first instinct was to protect or help the troops under his care, with the rationalization of why he did that a being self-serving coming later as an afterthought. I'd like to think yes, he's a big coward, but he's got an even bigger heart that allows him to do heroic things even while scared out of his wits. Dude just has a massive inferiority complex.

@jameschebahtah 4 года назад

That’s what I think. He is a perfectly normal soldier who wants to not die a horrible death, but thanks to Schola indoctrination that instinct was supposed to be beaten out of him so he feels guilty for it and sees himself as a complete cowardly fraud when in reality he’s a tactical savant and has an intact will to live

@UniversalWhatnot 4 года назад

Big Mood 10/10 excellent Cain analysis

@Ajehy 4 года назад

I agree. In any other universe, he’d be a straight-up hero... but this is 40k, where anything but frothing, suicidal zeal is considered cowardice. He’s been conditioned to think that refusing to throw himself into a meat-grinder is a moral failing, instead of a very reasonable and human reaction. To quote his girlfriend Amberley Vail: “It is also worth reflecting that if, as is often asserted, courage consists not of the absence of fear but the overcoming of it, Cain does indeed richly deserve his heroic reputation, even if he always steadfastly denied the fact!”

@TheAngryXenite 4 года назад

@goff0103 Correct me if I'm wrong, but if he genuinely wanted them purely as meat shields, wouldn't that entail him deliberately letting them take the hits he's afraid of taking? That seems to contradict with his drive to keep them alive even in situations where there would be no risk to himself to let them die, as that's their job as meatshields. I'm just saying, his assertions that he's actually being a selfish coward who keeps his troops alive simply to have something to throw between himself and the enemy ring hollow when he often throws himself into danger to save them.

@Lazarultos 4 года назад

@@TheAngryXenite He generally rationalizes it as "It's better if I make it so they WANT to take the hits for me instead of me ORDERING them to!" So he takes every opportunity to make a show of how much he cares about them and how he would totally do the same for them... To the point where does legitimately care for them and would totally take serious heat off of his subordinates (if he thinks he can afford it, despite the danger), but he doesn't realize that. His self-esteem is so deep in the gutter that he thinks all of his compassionate actions is just him building up a moral debt with others, for him to cash in when it all goes to Hell But up to his peaceful death, he never ends up cashing it all in.

@euychua 4 года назад

Finally Calgar has someone to share his problems with now.

@nicedaemonette 4 года назад

But how will being friends with Calgar affect Cain's inevitable meeting with Rowbeot Gillyman?!?! We've already established Cain will fear the Ultra Primarch will have seen through his facade and is constantly toying with him, only for Gillyman to just genuinely appreciate an fellow sensible Imperial Commander!

@gustadood9166 4 года назад

@ivan ivanovitch ivanovsky Sometimes we like to tease the people we appreciate. Guilliman taking the piss out of him would likely be good natured, but Cain will just be that more paranoid that someone has seen through his facade.

@dominicvucic8654 4 года назад

I thought amber vale i think her. Ame is has already seen through his facade

@gustadood9166 4 года назад

@@dominicvucic8654 Yes, that's right. But it might be harder to get used to a Primarch, one of the Emperor's Sons, knowing.

@michaelkimberling7307 4 года назад

SirBrasstion the Munitorium has a standing order that it is to refuse any reports of him being dead even if there is proof. As far as they’re concerned he can never die. Also there are rejuvenate treatments that he can access due to his relationship with Amberley Vale. He and Jurgan both get access to it because of her.

@MrMortull 4 года назад

Everyone: freaking out about Ciaphas' breakdown and how he totally deserves his reputation for pushing through his basic nature to make it work in spite of himself... Me: Do you people not see how much Calgar needed this, too?

@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 4 года назад

"Yeah, but, _Wardian Smurfs._ " (eeeeeeewwww)

@MrMortull 4 года назад

@@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 Chapter Master Calgar hates what his Chapter have become, too. He cast Fist on Cato Sicarius.

@PauaP 4 года назад

@@MrMortull But Sicarius kinda deserves being FISTED. Someones gotta check his ego from time to time.

@Jaegerrants 4 года назад

What about Gaunt? Or Schaeffer? Easily in same category but personality issues take back seat.

@isaiahkayode6526 4 года назад

@MrMortull But Calgar is the Chapter master of The Ultramarines The Greatest Of Them All how could possibly hate them for that

@Qardo 3 года назад

Even in death. Cain is still written as "Active". And yes he is dead. He died of old age. Full military honors. Yet Cain has "died" so many times and turns out he have lived. The Imperium given up writing him "Killed in Action".

@utubrGaming 2 года назад

Between the fact that he is literally unable to die according to the munitorium, the Imperium's mass propaganda of him making him known to almost every Guardsman and cadet in the Commissariat and the Tallarn sect, I've a suspicion that Commissar Cain is actually a Living Saint at this point.

@vincentmuyo 2 года назад

You wouldn't *believe* the amount of paperwork they'd need to process if they declare Cain dead and he turns up alive *again*. So he's missing in action.

@firetarrasque4667 2 года назад

His corpse will be mummified and carried around like Lord Kroak. It is the only way to assure *VICTORY.*

@Some_Really_Random_Dude. 2 года назад

This is probably behind some of the highest seals the inquisition can muster. But the imperium keeps clones of its greatest heroes and generals. It could very well be that Caine has actually died every single time he has been listed as such. However to keep morale up, a new Caine was plopped from the cloning vats and into his boots.

@Koppu1doragon 2 года назад

I love that, one of the greatest generals of all time was allowed to die of old age even though the imperium is able to extend one's life for a seemingly unlimited amount of time.

@franzsanders9573 3 года назад

Virtually Every 40K Character in TTS: Humorous exaggeration of who they are in actual 40K canon Ciaphas Cain in TTS: Literally just the same character but animated

@somethinglikethat2176 3 года назад

What about Colonel Straken?

@Spartan135 3 года назад

@@somethinglikethat2176 this guy needs no parody version.

@piratekingthaszar7912 3 года назад

@@somethinglikethat2176 how does one parody a catachan? They're literally an army of space Rambos.

@squeaky1963 3 года назад

No doubt Cain screams his lungs out and cries when he's taking his rudimentary hot showers after accidentally running into Nids, and Necrons when he was just having a look around the place

@DeusExMachina10001 3 года назад

Their portrayal of Sly Marbo is completely accurate.

@Jimbo55151 4 года назад

Man, this episode of Space Blackadder got weird.

@johnroscoe2406 4 года назад

lol "Space Blackadder" that's awesome.

@ariandynas 4 года назад

@@johnroscoe2406 It's also a half accurate summation. The other half is Flashman.

@skepticalmagos_101 4 года назад

Baldrick? Where's Baldrick??

@ariandynas 4 года назад

@@skepticalmagos_101 That would be Gunner Jurgen - not very well portrayed here, Imperial unregistered Blank, porn-enthusaist, and the filthiest soldier in the Imperial Guard. He practically has a miasma of BO that precedes him by several feet.

@Jimbo55151 4 года назад

ariandynas Don’t forget his innate ability to destroy at least 2 oared cars and 12 lampposts whenever he drives

@Wulgreath 4 года назад

I like to think Juergen hears these rantings daily and just thinks “Commisar’s being harsh on himself again, that Schola training to always excel must cut deep” and goes about putting on more tanna

@boxtank5288 4 года назад

Pretty sure both Jurgen AND Vail are the only people who know that he beats himself up like this. The fact they still call him Hero is telling.

@robertnelson9599 4 года назад

@@boxtank5288 Cain may hate himself, but he still plenty of heroic deeds. If those deeds had been intended than his self-image would not be so bad.

@LordTyph 4 года назад

@@robertnelson9599 he basically stumbles into being a hero more than half the time, from what I know. He probably isnt nearly as self serving as he claims though...

@VallornDeathblade 4 года назад

@@LordTyph At this point I'm pretty sure he has all the leftover good luck from the Lamenters... and it seems that level of cosmic good fortune is quite the curse itself.

@LordTyph 4 года назад

@@VallornDeathblade sounds like Komaeda would be another Mood Kindred then

@erichrandomstranger1243 Год назад

The man slept with an Inquisitor, a techpriest who didn't want to get rid of their more intimate parts, the heiress to a planet, and a Slanneshi cultist that got turned into a Daemon prince later. He has a very nice record indeed.

@salmonroe5608 11 месяцев назад

That last one seems a bit heretical.

@Resi1ience 10 месяцев назад

@@salmonroe5608 Who cares? This man's luck alone could save humanity.

@salmonroe5608 10 месяцев назад

@@Resi1ience Sure, but i'm not certain that it was a good idea.

@salmonroe5608 10 месяцев назад

@ArenVrem Ok that helps xD

@utubrGaming 9 месяцев назад

And a police officer, a Navy Officer, a PDF Sergeant, and a lady Commissar from Catachan.

@dilophosaurussk4333 4 года назад

Cain is the kid that remembers only half the curriculum, but by random luck every question is from the half he remembers so he passes each test with an A.

@blackadder564 4 года назад

I think I remember his grades actually being average in the academic parts of his training. But he excelled in tactics, combat training, and sports.

@ConfusedGuardsman 3 года назад

Thats me in college at the moment. Emperor preserve me.

@omeven5785 3 года назад

@@ConfusedGuardsman Mood kindred???

@ghuttsmckenzie4269 3 года назад

That is me in general! I'm kinda surprised at how lucky i am not to have failed til I hit college!

@St33lStrife 3 года назад

I'm hoping that's me this semester

@Palemagpie 3 года назад

Best thing about Cain is, he actually is a complete badass and a legendary soldier. He just doesn't realise it. He constantly gets lucky. But his strategies are always sound and he never abandons anyone to their fate if he can save them, even if he's against impossible odds

@kreigguardsman3355 2 года назад

If I remember correctly his sword skill is recognized even by astartes

@kreigguardsman3355 Год назад

@LOAN NGUYEN I just finished that book fun read. I can’t imagine many commissars are normal humans can make such a claim

@marshalsunrise6582 Год назад

@@kreigguardsman3355 What's the name of the book

@nyarlathotep8723 Год назад

Cain legit beat an Ork warboss entirely on his own with only a chainsword and no Jurgen interrupt.

@sebastian114 Год назад

@LOAN NGUYEN not a headmaster, just a tech marine, not gonna take away the achivement tho as he has repeatedly defeated chaos marines and god knows what else....

@pitakosthepwner 4 года назад

Calgar on literally anyone else: I cast FIST!! Calgar on Cain: I cast ....... HUG!!

@dekaw9138 4 года назад

Peter Jason Anderson not Vulkan?

@jedyzichterman358 4 года назад

@@dekaw9138 No because Vulkan would cast hug on him before Calgar could even blink

@dekaw9138 4 года назад

Jedy Zichterman he can tank it though

@Ecthelion842 4 года назад

@@jedyzichterman358 "NEPHEW! GIVE UNCLE VUKLAN A HUG! Now where is my bruddah, I must too give him the hug of friendship!" "Uh, most honored lord primarch, he is in stasis because-" "TURN OFF THE STASIS FIELD YOU ZOGGIN GIT, ROBUTE NEEDS SOME HUGGIN!"

@1stcaptainraldoron538 4 года назад

Gary Gardner goddamit I read that in their voices.

@romanoctavius1477 2 года назад

He also technically beat a Dark Eldar Succubus is a Duel without any outside help. A little history on that, said Succubus specifically hunted down Cain with the express purpose of bringing him back Commorragh to torture/rape/kill because his reputation was so vast and well known amongst the Dark Eldar, that anyone who succeeded in killing him, and providing the proof, would get mad kudos from the rest of the Dark Eldar society. How he won was pretty cool too. He knew that eventually the Dark Eldar's stamina and combat drugs would wear him down, so he said "fuck it, I don't wanna get captured and tortured to death by the Dark Eldar" and went to blow his brains out with his laspistol, only for the Succubus to let her guard down and try to stop him, cause she wanted to bring him back home for the torture, and he bisected her with his chainsword.

@PurpleH4z3 Год назад

Was that the one where the dark eldars jumped cain while he was eunning from some tyranids? And the tyranids endup killing like almost all of the dark eldar squad while the dark eldar kill all the tyranids and save cain from them in the process? And while both forces fight cain is parring atcks from both fronts?

@midgetydeath Год назад

It is so very fitting that she believed his desire to die rather than be captured was greater than his desire to live if he could. That's how basically any other Imperial would think and would pull the trigger instead of using the opening.

@lapantony 5 месяцев назад

Could you say which book was that ?

@Vectorspace000 2 месяца назад

@lapantony It's not from one of the books, it's from an audio drama called "The Devil You Know". The way I understood it, Cain was not actually intending to shoot himself - it was a calculated gamble that she would stop him, giving him an opening to kill her. Though he did acknowledge that if she didn't, it would be a preferable fate to being captured.

@daemonofdecay 4 года назад

This grimdark Flashman McBlackadder has a “perfect” voice - and chin...

@banana9019 4 года назад

He reverts back to his second form in the second act.

@commandermcnash5137 4 года назад

And unlike the Flashman he isn't a rapist to get the ladies.

@Jimbo55151 4 года назад

Hector Rivera or a jerkish asshole in general

@jprior1427 4 года назад

Cain is the one time 40k made something nicer than the orginal

@CalebNelsonFreedomGundum101 4 года назад

YES

@1stshockarmy 4 года назад

What is being shown: Ciaphas Cain *Hero of the Imperium* at last breaks under the load of his reputation and its contrast to his true personality what I see and hear: *Ci Ci Ciaphas Cain HERO OF THE IMPERIUM*

@MajorCoolD 4 года назад

Yeah he could make a video of that alone being looped and I'd still watch/listen to it! XD

@Deckaio 4 года назад

Yeah, I want a full track of this chant, maybe turn into a full song even.

@Рыцарьдлябедных 4 года назад

Ci!

@danburns1349 4 года назад

Me: "Ciaphas Cain is fair layered character, with a bit of impostor syndrome and genuine fear of a bleak reality he finds himself in, but despite that he has inadvertently created a lot of good he is oblivious to by sheer reputation alone, while also genuinely being a fun character to follow. In this TED talk, I will..... Also me: "CI CI CIAPHAS CAIN"

@cpt.mirones5109 4 года назад

@@Deckaio and the Intro of the sung are not brassblowers doing heroic fanfare but instead collectiv Victory Revs of Chainswords. Why is this not a thing yet? Chainsword Remix of actual songs

@DoctorDJJones 4 года назад

In Cain's sobbing at the end it sounds like he cries out "it feels like there's only war, why is there only war?"

@Buitronthecrazy 4 года назад

Because... ABANDON REASON! KNOW ONLY WAR!

@BM-is5ei 3 года назад

Holy shit thats actually what he says:" I feel like theres only war. Thats all there is." Wow well spotted!

@korstmahler 3 года назад

He's not the only one to make that realisation. I recall a couple drunk Tannith troops and a future vessel of a living saint both came to that conclusion, in canon. I'm kind of impressed they had the guts to make an in-universe character give the '...only war' phrase.

@lumberluc 3 года назад

Topped with "Finally, my day isn't horrible..."

@michaelalridge1509 3 года назад

Shut your face ghost ferrus you are not friend

@rattles8789 4 года назад

The way he slowly sinks into his coat in absolute horror and panic at seeing the Commander made my day.

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

Space Marines can be stealthy when they want to be. Good thing Calgar finally found MOOD KINDRED with Ciaphas Cain

@Jampolo_OG 4 года назад

That death glare is not doing Calgar any favors either

@mizuhokusuha 4 года назад

I had thought it was a black templar until he spoke.

@beastwarsFTW 4 года назад

@@Jampolo_OG You try not looking pissed when you have to deal with the Ultramarines' chanting and patting themselves on the back all the time.

@rattles8789 4 года назад

@@mizuhokusuha That would be very, very bad for morale

@barryfraser831 4 года назад

And that day Ciaphas Cain's fame grew as he was known to be called the brother of the chapter master of the legendary UltraMarines. The only human to ever be given such a great honor.

@michalsoukup1021 4 года назад

He legit earned respect of at least one chapter to the point when they thought sparring with him was worthwhile, reclaimers I think it was.

@blackadder564 4 года назад

@@michalsoukup1021 Yes the Reclaimers. In "The Emperors Finest". Drumom had to hold back a little. But Cain did manage to land several strikes against his armor. No small feat against an augmented superhuman. Even if he holds back. A testament to his sword-fighting skills.

@sirskitariibush5570 4 года назад

@@blackadder564 wait, I thought that was a techmarine

@blackadder564 4 года назад

@@sirskitariibush5570 Yes. You are right. Drumon. Tnx. I'll change it.

@CaptainHat12 4 года назад

Nearly died when I saw Ciaphas Cain's portrait of himself bearing a galactic size chin and grin.

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

He is the Inevitable!

@jgmaurer31 2 года назад

A continuation of Cain's luck. Admitting inadvertently EVERYTHING to the ONE MAN who would understand him.

@facundogonzalez5453 4 года назад

I am seriously starting to think that the Emperor is assembling his final army. The only sane Commissar, the Chapter with reality bending powers, lead by a person with some kind of common sense, the Star Child and the "sane" Inquisition. And of course the Primarchs are mustering and Kitten is probably going to defeat the Void Dragon in a Children Card Games on Motorcycles.

@jeremybk54 4 года назад

im just expecting him to ask the Void Dragon why everyone has some kind of beef with Ultramar

@jacobwilson8579 4 года назад

Ya that sounds about right, wonder if he is actually gonna try to heal Angron or just throw him at the enemy.

@josepholberding2776 4 года назад

And vulkan and corvus will get included in the plan at some point.

@Tounushi 4 года назад

"Children Card Games on Motorcycles" I can see that happening. God-Emperor, I can see that happening. Not only that, but the Void Dragon must've been constructing his own custom track with all manner of traps and obstacles, and he'll be either endearingly giddy about it all or (to continue the trend) insufferably smug.

@vintheguy 4 года назад

The army would have squat psykers

@DrmChsr0 4 года назад

I... I did not expect Calgar AND Cain hugging it out. I WANT MORE.

@NameIsDoc 4 года назад

stop thats slaaneshi!

@drivanradosivic1357 4 года назад

@@NameIsDoc nah, not enough EXTREME BDSM for Slaneeshi aproval. basically, if it is in moderation, it is not Slaneeshi tier trash.

@Matihood1 4 года назад

Me neither. But the moment I heard Karl's voice, I knew exactly what was going to happen. Still laughed my ass off tho.

@drivanradosivic1357 4 года назад

although, that makes me wonder, if Slaneesh can be everything you want, what would happen to that extreme BDSM Manifestation, if you want to be someone coming back to your spouse for passionate loving marathon sex? a "does not compute" or what?

@NetGreen123 4 года назад

I ALSO WANT MORE, TRUE MOOD KINDRED

@brianbarfield5482 4 года назад

This stuff is better than the official lore. God I love Alfa’s stuff.

@dumpsockpuppet5619 4 года назад

...but this is actual 40K canon, he really is a self-deprecating coward with the most ridicculously rotten good luck of the imperium whose actions somehow always end up being missinterpreted as the ones of a brave tactical genius; granted, he geniunely cares for his troops and when cornered, he'd rather stand his ground doing the right thing than lie down & die, but he will soil his pants while doing so

@Marinealver 4 года назад

ITEHATTSD is canon as far as I am concerned.

@undertakernumberone1 4 года назад

@@dumpsockpuppet5619 "he really is a self-deprecating coward with the most ridicculously rotten good luck " open for interpretation tbh. Could also be a major case of character developement with Cain only BELIEVING he is the coward he was in the beginning. Could be, even in his memoirs, that he's putting up a show. Could be that he really is that coward...

@Darthvegeta8000 4 года назад

This is actually oddly in tune with the official lore and novels. He (unjustly) does see himself in this bad a light consistently. ...he's a human being doing great things, being good at his job and having insane amounts of luck. ...He genuinely doesn't understand why he's alive. But also how all this insane shit keeps bumping into him. He actually has nightmares of all the daemons, Necrons and other filth he has had to deal with.

@Neuttah 4 года назад

@@Darthvegeta8000 Doesn't Jurgen help with aforementioned nightmares, which has a side effect of...unfortunate implications?

@MrArmystrong85 3 года назад

TTS Characters: exaggerated caricatures Ciaphas Cain: Literally just Ciaphas Cain

@akumaking1 3 года назад

Pretty much

@AsbestosMuffins 4 года назад

Meanwhile Comisar Yarrik on Armageddon: "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TO REGROW THAT ARM STICK THAT POWERCLAW ON IT AND GIVE ME MY GUN!"

@hisnotsolonely2961 4 года назад

Robot eye goes bzzzzztt

@Scrap_Lootaz 4 года назад

OOOO ZOG!

@ZetsubouGintama 4 года назад

I immagin Yarrick talking like a warboss. Like Vulkan.

@ieuanhunt552 4 года назад

"Advanced" ork wargear like the power claw could not function without Waagh power. Yarrik I such a massive badass that he is the orks Boogy man. He can use their own powers against them.

@spinyjustspiny3289 4 года назад

@@ieuanhunt552 He heard rumors from the Orks that he could kill with a stare and got his eye modded to actually shoot lasers.

@giantdad7556 4 года назад

I call this "When in RP your character is supposed to be hella weak, but you got god-like rolls"

@khurelbatbayanbat7913 4 года назад

When the comic relief character throws a Hail Mary shot into the big bad and somehow kills the BBEG

@zombiecaligula385 4 года назад

Grendel the acolyte sends his regards. Ever seen an obese middle aged man knife a bloodthirster to death on accident? Hell, Grendel got immortalized in a Dark Heresy book after the greentext got released.

@vincentmuyo 3 года назад

Look, I threw all my training into swordsmanship, OK? I'll just have my character sit things out in a nice quiet artillery regiment.

@cptcarlos583 3 года назад

So... a Giant dad, then.

@rakshithanand8262 3 года назад

@@cptcarlos583 No? GiantDad was built from the ground up to be the most annoying pvp experience possible at the time.

@cbl1199 4 года назад

Just realized that the entire time the grunts are cheering him for his genuinely glorious tactical mind, he is slowly slouching backward like his soul was slowly seeping away.

@MalachiteDragon1 3 года назад

@John Doe And yet, it is. Spoilers for the book, but Ciaphas lives long enough to _retire and die of old age._ He's buried with full military honors.

@void5506 3 года назад

@@MalachiteDragon1 Fucking what, he dies of old age?

@jirojhasuo2ndgrandcompany745 3 года назад

@@void5506 He dies of old age according to the lore, but the Imperial Records listed him as still in service in the Astra Militarum because everytime he seemingly gets Killed In Action from a mission, He returns safe and alive weeks or months later. Hes just that lucky that the Adeptus Ministorum stopped giving a fuck about his passing, and forever immortalized him.

@vincentmuyo 3 года назад

He dies of old age in a setting where there's a treatment for aging in circulation and people can live indefinitely unless assassinated. ... I suspect Amberley may have arranged for a proper retirement for the old hive boy.

@deadrixhanon1776 3 года назад

@@vincentmuyo i believe cain was 200+ ish years old

@PickleJello 3 года назад

Ciaphas Cain has reappeared after he was thought to be dead so many times that he's officially still alive in Imperium records, even though he had a full-on military funeral in which the body was present.

@Solwyte 3 года назад

He will rise back from the dead after god knows what shenanigans he pulls off in the Imaterium

@vincentmuyo 2 года назад

I swear Amberley must have faked his death.

@yuae5078 2 года назад

The thing is we didn't even know if it was HIM, there's no confirmation recorded from reliable soruces or any other For all we know he might've faked his death and Amberley picked him up and they're enjoying retirement together 😂

@elonwhatever 2 года назад

I mean, he may become an apparition/angel whatever. Warpfuckery being what it is

@zanelambert7343 Год назад

question is was Urgan at the funeral?

@theironmuttonchops5398 4 года назад

I love how Ciaphas Cain is so untouchable that even when Calgar found him out, he surprisingly feels the exact same way and just wants to be best friends. This man doesn't just have Astarte grade plot armor, Commissar Cain has a man-god-emperor-damned plot fortress!

@TooBadThatDidntKillMe 4 года назад

They're both entombed within Plot Dreadnoughts and they know it. Hence the Mood Kinship.

@rednemo9634 4 года назад

@@TooBadThatDidntKillMe Don't you mean Imperator Class Titan Grade Plot Armor?

@codyrhodes2473 4 года назад

Calgar had a similar breakdown in an earlier "If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device" after I, Cato Sicarius, successfully captured Magnus The Red and put him in a box. I, Cato Sicarius, then found all the remaining Salamander artifacts which returned Vulkan to life.

@danniluxgarbe429 4 года назад

@@TooBadThatDidntKillMe In other words, Cain is one of the rare male Living Saints?

@TooBadThatDidntKillMe 4 года назад

@@danniluxgarbe429 If he was and he found out, he would really have a crying breakdown.

@Sanguimaru 4 года назад

"Is that an astartes? What is about to happen-" [It's Calgar] "Oh. OH!"

@GaldirEonai 4 года назад

Funny story, by the way: Even Lords General tend to have trouble getting the Astartes in any given warzone to follow a common strategy with the rest of the imperial forces. Astartes have been known to _defer to Cain_ in matters of tactics.

@asonofhoruslegionary 4 года назад

GaldirEonai When was this?

@GaldirEonai 4 года назад

@@asonofhoruslegionary The Greater Good. The Reclaimers detachment at the research base defer to Cain when it comes to anti-tyranid tactics.

@adamcarroll9613 4 года назад

@@GaldirEonai Considering the Reclaimers entire lore is literally just 5 pages of question marks, that... is oddly fitting.

@Darthvegeta8000 4 года назад

@@adamcarroll9613 Also because he saved their asses in a previous story inside a Space Hulk. While trying not to get killed. ...he was being very Ciaphas Cain. All the smart decisions to not have to do shit. Still ends up having to save the day. Still does it. And is superglad to get away. That Space Hulk adventure preceeding it ends with him getting rid of a creepy fangirl aristocrat that hooked the local governor and with him prepping to be off to a (he thinks) safer venture.

@Jimbo55151 4 года назад

Remember , true bravery is BEING a coward and still facing what scared you.

@ChibiKami 4 года назад

@MrNahual2099 the shit Courage is up against would send anyone running

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

@MrNahual2099 Cowardly Lion trope to be exact

@Jimbo55151 4 года назад

MrNahual2099 Courage, Ciaphus, and Luigi are the real chads

@viyhexe131 4 года назад

As the man himself said: when your only chance for survival is to charge a raging Carnifex with nothing but a broken table leg, you charge the Carnifex.

@iglidor 4 года назад

Well considering that Cain is always running away from things that scare him, it is only cosmic level joke that he ends up running into something worse most of the time

@AnIdiotsLantern 2 года назад

For those wondering why Calgar and Caine are mood kindred - “Calgar”isn’t his real name. It’s the name of a dead rich kid he stole the identity of. He pulled a Don Draper, and it’s the only reason he was able to become a marine. He’s a literal fraud, but his heroism is real.

@Youcancallmeishmaell 2 года назад

This video was weirdly fortuitous.

@Nosnoug 2 года назад

I actually didn't know that. Thanks!

@AnIdiotsLantern 2 года назад

@@Nosnoug in case you want more detail - the real Marnius Calgar was the handsome, blond, overachieving young heir of an important Ultramar noble family. He was being tutored to stand for the Astartes trials when he was killed by cultists. So his personal bond slave, who was the same age and also blond haired, took his name, and stood for the trials in his place. And that’s the very short version of how “Marnius Calgar” joined the Adeptus Astartes.

@Nosnoug 2 года назад

@@AnIdiotsLantern That's genuinely interesting to know. Thank you!

@katelldrouet5977 2 года назад

@@AnIdiotsLantern Wait, is that really canon? 0.o Where do you find this information???

@hoodedninja9000 4 года назад

I need 10 minutes straight of that "Ci- Ci- Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium" It is amazing.

@anjum3798 4 года назад

Hear hear!

@facelessidiot6407 4 года назад

@@anjum3798 Hear hear to that!!

@HubiKoshi 4 года назад

Seconded!

@cgvoiceover4372 4 года назад

It's so damn catchy. I'd love to see more 40k marching songs in general

@오주환-b1n 4 года назад

Same

@gordonfreeman8109 4 года назад

Ah yes, Commissar Ciaphas Cain, ine of the finest living embodiments of "The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.".

@dean_l33 3 года назад

Mr. Ciaphas I've been expecting your victory in another 5 minutes

@Meshakhad 2 года назад

You would certainly know…

@AustroStudios2003 Год назад

There's something funny about this coming from Gordon Freeman

@cringelord1809 Год назад

But is he prepared for unforeseen consequenceS?

@barachiel212 Год назад

"So wake up... Mr. Cain. wake up... and sssssmelll the .... ashes."

@Self-replicating_whatnot 4 года назад

Ciaphas Kaine, a walking paradox. He thinks himself a coward when he's in fact brave, because Imperium doesn't value bravery, but fearlessness and Caine has to fight his fear every time fate throws him into another do or die situation. He thinks himself a scoundrel, when in fact he's a faithful servant of God-Emperor and does his duty every single time, and his attempts to avoid said duty are perfunctory at best. He thinks he doesn't deserve any of his glory, when in fact only big-dick space marine commanders have a better track record, and they have the advantage of transhuman physiology, hundreds of years of combat experience and a chapter of devoted murdermachines at their beck and call.

@paireon3419 4 года назад

That's pretty much impostor syndrome in a nutshell - someone who's actually competent/talented/knowledgeable, but has a hard time recognizing it themselves.

@Flight_of_Icarus 4 года назад

Impostor Syndrome and Depression can do that to a man.

@Prich319 4 года назад

I would gladly follow a man who believes he is a fraud over a man who thinks everything he says or does is infallible. Humility is a virtue, not a weakness, and overwhelming Hubris never ends well. Ciaphas Cain is a better man than he knows or will admit.

@leothewhiteranger 4 года назад

I mean, to be fair to Cain, he's actually had his skill in battle recognized BY space marines before. He dueled a loyalist space marine techmarine, and scratched the guy's armor... which the Techmarine keeps as a reminder not to underestimate people.

@bubbasbigblast8563 4 года назад

His bravery is kind of half-and-half: he'll always fight if it will save his life, but he'll also leave an entire planet to its doom instead of fighting a battle, if he's certain losing the planet won't come back to bite him.

@MrTexaspreacher 2 года назад

Coming back to this after two years, and listening to most of the audio books, even if Cain were to go out there and tell the truth most of the troopers under his command would think he was just being the ever humble commisar, downplaying his own heroics. So even if he did tell the truth, it would only make his inflated reputation even worse.

@TheNapster153 Год назад

So I guess that means even more rabid cheering?

@bodricthered Год назад

They'd be right...

@iridadene4344 4 года назад

Love Cain in the books is constantly just trying to keep his troops and himself alive, and ends up completely destroying what semblance of order the enemies of the imperium have by his continued existence alone. I remember when he accidentally got stuck in a warchiefs camp while trying to avoid said orks altogether, and got out of there by first dueling the acting warchief, winning said duel in killing him off, and buggering off as the rest of the warchiefs guards and seconds in command started fighting each other for dominance, and the entire organizational structure of the orks completely fell apart on itself over the night as a result which lead to mass confusion over the orks actions to the imperial forces who promptly turned a downhill battle across multiple continents into a massive one sided slaughter. Also people keep forgetting about Jurgen. I love whenever the guy pipes up.

@fantochedollmaker7030 4 года назад

Dude that duel was awesome. Warboss dead, Cain wants to start shooting but Jurgen goes "Nope, let them figure it out my lord" and the nobs start killing one another, as finding out who's in charge is WAY more important than smacking humies

@vincentmuyo 3 года назад

Jurgen? What, the smelly guy?

@fantochedollmaker7030 3 года назад

@@vincentmuyo Yeah Jurgen is a type of badass all by himself

@xwing2417 3 года назад

Jurgen is great! And with all the pict-casts done about Cain, Cain is always upset that Jurgen never makes it into those stories. See, despite his self-professed fraud and self-interest he really does care a great deal about his people.

@tetchedink7980 3 года назад

What book was that one in?

@connormclernon26 4 года назад

My headcanon when reading the Cain series in chronological order is that at first Cain was every bit the self serving coward he thinks of himself as, but as time went on he slowly grew out of that and became a genuine hero but he still thinks of himself to his dying days as a fraud

@thebohemian814 3 года назад

Only to become a living saint

@OmgPuppies 3 года назад

My headcanon is that the propaganda is actually 100% accurate and that the whole series is actually self-insert fanfiction by Amberley Vail, who had to make him out to be flawed to make herself shine more.

@floppydisksareop 3 года назад

@@OmgPuppies Except she's not present in most Cain books, or is getting her ass kicked as well, so how does any of that make her look more badass?

@thebighurt2495 3 года назад

@@floppydisksareop She's a better-than-average fanficer and doesn't make her self-insert character a Mary Sue but the Love Interest for the Protag instead.

@zxcasf 3 года назад

I love when he does something balls out suicidal like the Khorne Berserker Duel to protect others, but that doesn't fit his worldview that he's a coward, so throws out a really flimsy excuse as to why it was actually a calculated act of cowardice.

@beowulf4545 4 года назад

Calgar is a terrifyingly stealthy Astares

@Akranejames 4 года назад

The plot needed him to be. Plot armor is how the Ultramarines work, after all.

@beowulf4545 4 года назад

@@Akranejames This is true. Still imagine how screwed you are if a 10 foot mountain of muscle and armor sneaks into your room.

@shadowstrider8295 4 года назад

@@beowulf4545 It would be brown trouser time followed by dead person time

@MrRavellon 3 года назад

Astartes are in general much stealthier than they have any right to be.

@Oliolli3 3 года назад

@@Akranejames Just look at Cato Sicarius. He managed to sneak into Forgefather He'Stan's quarters with a Land Raider.

@johnorulzu 3 года назад

I love the tiny detail of how at 1:10 when the Guard was talking about his "plans" you can visually see him starting to shrink a tiny bit, he was knowing that this was absolute bullshit.

@qweasdoUAttgl5300 Год назад

Agree

@AzureDragon100 4 года назад

It's worth noting that while Cain keeps telling himself he sees others around him as expendable meat shields, he rarely uses them that way. In fact if you look at the numbers, people who serve with or under Cain have a higher chance of survival in general despite often facing overwhelming odds. Heck he once led a ragtag group of PDF troopers and refugees through an Ork-infested desert and managed to reach friendly lines with 70 percent of the group intact, which is straight up a miracle. Sure, there's been a couple of sole-survivor situations, but most of the time those would have resulted in a total wipe anyway (the incident on the Necron Tomb World comes to mind).

@Corax.S 4 года назад

HE'S JUST. THAT. GOOD!

@julienbrightside8635 4 года назад

He has a good tactical view on things, or rather he manages to find others who has a good tactical view on things and he doesn't meddle in their plans.

@sessy01 4 года назад

@@julienbrightside8635 He meddles enough to keep them in line, namely Sulla and her gung-ho tactics, or the entire 597th before it became the 597th. He cares enough to put as many bodies between him and the trouble but it doesn't do any good if they all die and he's left defenseless so he plays it smart.

@blackadder564 4 года назад

@@sessy01 Well, he is a commissar so keeping them in line is kinda his job.

@wettoast8141 4 года назад

Wait, if the orks believe that he's amazing, does he become amazing due to waaaagh field?

@helpmereach690subscribers3 4 года назад

Ciaphas inspired me to name a General after him in stellaris. He’s was one star but whenever there’s a particularly well fortified I send him down with just an army or two without any orbital support he has somehow not only survived but thrived capturing many worlds

@emiledlund9559 4 года назад

What traits did he have?

@Seldonlair 4 года назад

@@emiledlund9559 Hero of the Imperium...obviously.

@helpmereach690subscribers3 4 года назад

I bring ill tidings brothers and sisters. Grand General Ciaphas Cain has fallen in the field of battle. He led his men valiantly attempting to liberate Poltun from the soulless mechanical abominations of the Zorn Continuity. Although he may have failed he bought the world time and weakened its defenses enough for the Adeptus Astartes(gene warriors) to arrive and finally drive the accursed mechanized Xenos off the world.

@Doomwolf82002 4 года назад

@@helpmereach690subscribers3 Remember to list him as Missing in Action.

@datkhornedog899 4 года назад

@@Doomwolf82002 Who? That man staying there? *Pointing at Ciaphas Cain near an Inn*

@radiobehemoth9334 4 года назад

NGL, that was genuinely heartwarming. Cain KNOWS he's propped up on a bed of lies but while it does cut deep into his soul how his whole existence is a fraud, he's more worried that once it all comes crashing down the people under him will get hurt. Cain is too NobleDark for this GrimDark Universe.

@thebighurt2495 3 года назад

NobleDark is the single best description of the Cain books ever. "Yes, life sucks in the Imperium. No, it is not actually hellish. People are miserable and poor, but still have mostly normal lives. No, the IG or Navy are not stupid. No, the Arbites are not incompetent turds. No, the PDF isn't completely useless. No, the SMs are not cold-hearted killing machines..... The Sororitas, though? Total waste of resources and protein.

@flyboy6392 3 года назад

@@thebighurt2495 With the exception of one Ephrael Stern, which still demands protein to keep her considerable mass at PEAK PERFORMANCE

@macromicro1715 3 года назад

All of those things are true, just not always true. Sometimes the imperial navy and guard are useless from terrible command, sometimes the Arbites are uncompromising ass holes enforcing ludicrous laws, sometimes the space marines are just cold blooded murderers;like say the Space Sharks or Marines Malevolent; sometimes the PDF is no better then mall cops, and sometimes; like life on Terra; life is so abysmal and horrific it be a layer of hell in its own right. That’s said it’s a massive universe, and there exist many exceptions. No one description could truly encompass the whole of the Imperium. On the Sororitas, they’ve got one big advantage over their space marine allys. Their rate of falling to heresy and becoming traitors is by comparison virtually nonexistent.

@MajinOthinus 3 года назад

@@macromicro1715 That's because they die from head wounds long before they can fall to chaos.

@Jensenlolman 3 года назад

That's why we love him

@timezerohour8864 2 года назад

Cain is the only person in the known galaxy to remain on the active duty roster of the Astra Militarum even after being assumed dead and with full military honours. This is the result of a confusion in the Departmento Munitorum during the First Siege of Perlia, in which Cain was listed as killed in action until some point after he rejoined his regiment at the campaign's end. This pattern of returning alive after being declared dead occurred often enough during Cain's career that the Munitorum made a special ruling that Ciaphas Cain is to never be considered dead, despite evidence to the contrary.

@devildevious2646 Год назад

All I can imagine is someone showing up with Cain's body and the same munitorum guy from perlia just saying "... So MIA?"

@danniluxgarbe429 Год назад

You're really underselling the First Siege of Perlia... He was on the wrong side of an emergency bulkhead when the Hand of Vengence had a hull breach: MIA, assumed dead. Three weeks later, someone claiming to be Cain in a Saviour Pod makes Vox contact, gives the correct codes, but... he's assumed dead... so the Saviour Pod is ordered to land at the starport on the Western continent and is shot down instead in enemy territory on the Eastern continent. MIA, Almost certainly dead. two days later, a captured town on the eastern continent blows up so thoroughly that Imperial Navy can see it with the naked eye. Over the course of the next few months, SOMEONE is tearing a bloody path through the Orks, headed due west away from that explosion, and they're getting larger with every enemy contact. Imperial forces are tracking them as best they can, but OH NOES! They've been bottled up in a valley and the Orks are closing the trap! Valley floods as the dam bursts. Whoever they are, they must be dead now. less than two days later, Cain shows up, leading an ad-hoc regiment made up of PDF regulars and civilians across the peninsular with pictographic proof that he, personally, with just a chainsword and a laspistol, defeated the _Nob_ leading the _Waaaagh_ , shattering the Ork's fighting ability as the _Waaaagh_ 's clans descend into internecine fighting, and does anyone possibly have a bowl of tanna-leaf tea? Final Count: assumed dead three times in the same year, and Jurgen keeps cain pleasantly marinated in Tanna for the rest of their lives together.

@SalamanderBattleBrother 11 месяцев назад

@@danniluxgarbe429 and the guy think himself a fraud?

@danniluxgarbe429 11 месяцев назад

@@SalamanderBattleBrother Imposter syndrome is a hell of a thing. Quite a lot of Cain's memoirs is either, "I didn't want to do it, but it was either do that or die... so i did it, but I wasn't happy about it." or "If I did something cowardly at this juncture, I'd waste the social capital I earned from the last time I didn't do something cowardly, so I I'll do the brave thing, I guess... If I have to."

@roberthogan1362 4 года назад

So either A: Calgar made a deal with some entity to ensure that the ultramarines would always win no matter what Or B: the smurfs have been bullshitting their way to victory all along

@trainboy1739 4 года назад

Well blue is a lucky color for the orks...don’t think so much he made a deal.

@BREAKMEKNEES 4 года назад

Calgar clearly rewrote the history books, but then enough people believed them that it distorted reality itself. Now he's stuck because he can't undo it, but he knows it's all BS and dreads reality noticing. It's like the existential dread you get when you learn about false vaccuums.

@jaimelapolitique349 4 года назад

In the sequence when he speaks with Ventris, in the background, there are crates upon crates of a certain miracle "pill" ...

@asteroidrules 4 года назад

Could be both, deals with the devil tend to have an ironic twist, and being the only person in the galaxy aware of how nonsensical your successes are, and being unable to feel accomplishment from them, would be the perfect irony to always succeeding no matter the odds.

@williamgearing4305 4 года назад

The entity is Matt ward, a greater demon of Tzeech

@mutantmaster1 4 года назад

Kitten: My Lord, why did you give all your luck to this one man? God-Emperor: I am constantly in pain, equal to stubing my to toe, all over my body. Someone else should feel my pain

@Matihood1 3 года назад

*God*-Emperor? The Emperor disapproves.

@ChronoTriggerHappy 3 года назад

@@Matihood1 Look, it takes a REEEEEALLY long time for the new name to travel across the massive expanse of the Imperium, we can let a few back world leaders still use the G term until they can get a hang of our glorious Man-Emperor of Mankind's new name

@xaimaralexisii9095 3 года назад

Gramps, could you spare some of those luck to the lamenters? They really need a break.

@firestar1056 3 года назад

@@Matihood1 ALL HAIL MAN-EMPEROR OF MANKIND

@alphariusfuze8089 3 года назад

@@ChronoTriggerHappy Hmhmpm, mine message is our Boiz Bemperor of mankind.

@TheIronArmenianakaGIHaigs 4 года назад

As a fan of the books thank you so much for this video:D

@panzerkampfwagenviausfuhru2700 4 года назад

Oh dam i didn’t know u watched Alfabusa :0

@wh3nderson95 4 года назад

Which books?

@Matt-oj2kl 4 года назад

It’s so accurate to the books it hurts😂

@Matt-oj2kl 4 года назад

HUNK just amazon search Ciaphas Cain

@trevor3194 4 года назад

Ah yes my second favorite war thunder youtuber.

@utubrGaming 2 года назад

Ciaphas Cain: as a commissar, if you keep on executing guardsmen when you're gonna be with them in a battlefield where they all have lasguns, you won't stay an active commissar for long. The Inquisition and the Commissariat: GENIUS!

@Forestxavier20 Год назад

Cain: Treat them like friends and they will follow you to the ends of the earth. Other Commissars: But what if they screw up? Cain: I don't know, just give them harsh, but fair punishments, threaten to make them scrub the latrines for a month with only a toothbrush. When marching towards the next location, they have to carry the heavy bits of the regiment gear. Tell them that you will play Cats on repeat for six hours. Actually, scratch that last one, they might end themselves if you choose that one. Too Cruel and Unusual.

@randomintrovertedspider7510 Год назад

@@Forestxavier20 And now I'm imagining Cain accidentally starting a chain reaction of reforms throughout the Imperium that results in humanity returning to their prime, lol.

@TheTrueAdept 8 месяцев назад

@@randomintrovertedspider7510 actually his memoirs were doing it. What we read is basically the 'real' copy with all the annotations in the margins.

@Graymaven90 4 года назад

The voice acting or Caipus Cain was... in a word... *perfect*.

@MUGENanaya 3 года назад

das Takahata baybeee

@ghuttsmckenzie4269 3 года назад

the most **perfect** voice for the job!

@SneakyMuffin 3 года назад

Ooooh I see what you did there.

@Zerpderp0 3 года назад

ProBait is perfect

@Tounushi 4 года назад

"He was waiting for you, sir." Why do I get the feeling Jurgen knows exactly what Cain is up to behind closed doors?

@E100Omega123 3 года назад

Jurgen wouldn't be the galaxy's best commissar's aid if he didn't know.

@LordTyph 3 года назад

He's literally one of the only people who do know, in canon, I believe.

@yootoobecansoogmiballs8735 2 года назад

the real horror is what jurgen is doing behind closed doors.....some dude from the 597th told me that hes doing something that he called "scratchting the cheese stick"

@ChibiViolin 2 года назад

There are a great short story that demonstrates that Jurgen is incredibly competent. He knows but he just doesn't care.

@julian7247 2 года назад

Suprisingly he actually doesnt

@walterwilhelm5077 4 года назад

Necrons: 'exist in the sub-sector' Cain: Nigerundayo, Jurgen!

@kharak6204 4 года назад

Genestealers cultists: exist on the planet Cain: Nigerundayo, Jurg-.. FUCK THAT'S AN INQUISITOR THEY'LL KILL ME IF HE DIES AAAAAAAAAA

@rusdanibudiwicaksono1879 4 года назад

@@kharak6204 Okay, let's just wait here and let that Blank and his hanger-on screen for- OK CHANGE OF PLAN! *FOR THE EMPEROR!!!*

@weldonwin 4 года назад

@@kharak6204 Especially if its a very specific, very blonde, very sexy lady Inquisitor

@Kaymazo 4 года назад

IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

@@Kaymazo Joseph Joestar: "NICE!"

@sevengemsstudios9262 3 года назад

I do really like the ending though. Because it has a very simplistic and wholesome, if unintentional, message, at least for the majority of the audience: There is ALWAYS someone who will understand your pains and fears, and most importantly, accept you inspite of those and most any flaw you may have. Cain and the Commander both have immense feelings of inadequacy based on the fact that they feel like their accomplishments and awards have been given out based on the fact that they are always the victor in situations where they feel that they just as easily could have failed. They constantly doubt and diminish themselves and rather than bolster themselves by reassuring themselves that their accomplishments were the work of instinct, simply because by default they feel inadequate and bumbling to themselves, even if everyone around them agrees they acted in the right absolutely and could have even been guided by the emperor himself. They don't feel confident enough to claim the emperor guided them because he very well may not have, but they can't afford for anyone to think otherwise and put on airs. And as a result feel guilty and inadequate for it. But I may just be drunk and high at 5am overanalysing a youtube skit based on a tabletop game cannon AU humor channel.

@Kameth 4 года назад

Cain: I'm worthless and a complete coward Also Cain: One time I charged a greater demon with only a broken bayonet and a vial of holy water. Also also Cain: But no seriously I'm a coward, please don't venerate me.

@jtfbreedlove 4 года назад

That incendent needs a short story around it, because there's no way in the warp that Cain would do anything like that if there was literally any other option.

@Fourtytwo4242 4 года назад

@@jtfbreedlove There was most likely NO OTHER OPTION so he thought "If I am going to die I am going down swinging". Has a last ditch for survival it worked.

@GaldirEonai 4 года назад

As Cain himself puts it: A 0.00001% chance of survival is still better than none at all.

@sentrysapper45 4 года назад

@@jtfbreedlove I mean, he's survived close quarters combat against Chaos Space Marines, Hive Tyrants, a Genestealer Patriarch, and an Ork Warboss to name only a few incidents. He's a far more capable fighter than he gives himself credit for.

@Kameth 4 года назад

@@Fourtytwo4242 The best bit is this story is mentioned very off-handedly as he is charging a Hive Tyrant with just a chainsword and laspistol WHILE SUFFERING A MAJOR HEAD WOUND all the while going 'look, technically, these actions, while looking super heroic, I swear they aren't, it was totally the best option of a bad bunch, please don't think of me as a hero.'

@juletid99 4 года назад

The thing that I particularily love about the story of Cain. Is that, he have been reported Missing In Action, and presumed dead so many times, that a permanent regulation have been added to the records of the Departmento Munitorium. Stating that Cain should always be considered on active duty and, if not available, considered merely "MIA" Even when he got a Full State funeral, with all the records and hubub associated with such events.

@alexanderblack8852 4 года назад

Even in death, he still serves.

@imperialguardsman135 4 года назад

Fuck, I really need to read that omnibus

@juletid99 4 года назад

@@imperialguardsman135 Which one? There are three of them...

@imperialguardsman135 4 года назад

@@juletid99 *all of them*

@juletid99 4 года назад

@@imperialguardsman135 Good lad. And, do not forget. There was also a new novel last year. (I think)

@claudiumangaloiu9756 4 года назад

This is so appropriate for Cain, thou while he is indeed a scoundrel and a coward he really is braver that he thinks.

@juliankirby9880 4 года назад

It takes great courage to hang out with Juergen. Yes.

@aendranireho6038 4 года назад

@@juliankirby9880 Or a general lack of smell and hygiene :D

@TheWarmachine375 4 года назад

@@aendranireho6038 Jurgen is a Blank after all

@alexanderbraun7887 4 года назад

I think that is the joke of his books. Cain describes himself as coward, other describe him as humble hero and the truth between the lines is something in the middle

@aendranireho6038 4 года назад

@@alexanderbraun7887 Amberley is probably the only one seeing the truth : a normal man braving his fears and underestimating himslef