Hiding parts of yourself so nobody gets the full picture. 

Man, I don't even have all my keys.

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” Timothy Keller I like this one.

When he said, "I'm playing this big charade" I felt that

I once had a girlfriend who told me that when she first met me, she thought I was just a happy-go-lucky person. I even told her I was a simple person, and what you see is what you get, as I thought that myself. As the relationship progressed, she told me that I was a lot more complex and enigmatic than I originally appeared, and she didn't quite know who I was anymore. She told me that I was definitely NOT "what you see is what you get." Sometimes I feel like Pink in Pink Floyd's The Wall, building a wall around myself so nobody can detect my true identity as I protect myself from the bitter world.

All INFJ's are like that. I don't let people in ALL the way. They would reject me. I'm TOO open minded for the world.

No one can fully know us. That's why we have Art.

This is why we feel so lonely. I want that relationship SO bad, for someone to know me and love me so hard, like the way that I love, which can be very intense, but I close myself off, hide from people, and disappear, and am not deserving of the love that I so desperately want.

"If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known"

This makes me think of something a therapist told me a long time ago. She called it having boundaries. She said it's okay to keep some things private. You aren't obligated to share with someone if you don't want to, even if they're trying to demand that you do. I grew up in an environment where boundaries weren't respected at all, so her telling me that was a breakthrough for me. I get to decide who to trust, and it's okay to keep myself safe if I feel vulnerable. I'm slow to open up to people I meet. Slow, as in sometimes it can take months, or even years. I don't let them see the real me until I know it's safe to do so. Maybe it's a sign of low self-esteem that other people's disapproval can hurt me so much. I don't know. But I hide behind a smile and being very agreeable when I first meet someone. Most people never see more than that. It doesn't necessarily feel dishonest to do that, because I really do respect other people's right to their opinions (within reason). I feel like I'm rambling, so I'll shut up. This is the first time I've written a comment (though not the first time I've thought about doing it). When I saw how many other thoughtful comments there already were, I almost changed my mind, because, how could my little voice possibly matter when other people have already said it better than I ever could? But then I decided to throw in my 2 cents anyway. Cheers.

I hide my dark side to hunt those who do hurt me ..and hide my best side to find those who do accept me .

I wish people could read my mind so that, I won't have to explain the reasons for some wrong deeds and love me as I am. ✊😔 -An INFJ

It blows my mind how I can have such a strong ability in pattern recognition yet fail to spot my own patterns of behavior until they are years in hindsight :(

I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I think I am.

I think we play different roles with different people. Not that we're being false necessarily, just that certain qualities are appropriate to certain people and situations. And I believe there are parts of ourselves we keep hidden from everyone, and that that's perfectly okay. Frank, I'm curious how many of the 100 keys you feel you've given to those of us who watch your videos. How free do you feel to reveal aspects of yourself here?

I think that’s the “counselor” within us. We’re so used to hearing everyone else’s problems and having ours dismissed, that it’s foreign to other people that we actually HAVE feelings. That we can be anything more than just a shoulder to cry on or an open ear to talk to. That we have passions and opinions that could actually make people angry and that we can actually be disagreeable and firm on certain topics. It’s like, if no one wants to bother getting to know surface me, then they don’t deserve the rich, mineral me that lies beyond the surface.

I am an INFP and I've always felt exactly the same way... I often hide parts of myself very consciously, knowing that the person in front of me won't understand me anyway so I don't even bother trying to show the real me. It feels like it would be a waste of energy. It IS very important to me to be my true, authentic self, but that doesn't keep me from hiding those certain things. And for each person, it may be something else that I am hiding. And then again I often find myself sitting at home alone and complain to myself that no one really knows me... But how could anybody with me acting that way? At the same time, sometimes I don't even realize that I'm keeping things or maybe I just think not each detail of my personality is important or worthy of being shown... But maybe all those little things are important too

I am invisible, no one is trustworthy enough to know all about me. People Who were supposed to love me and care have betrayed me.

"To thine own self be true." Shakespeare

We know you, Frank. We see you. When you look into that camera, just remember: there are a thousand INFJ eyes looking back at you. Gazing deep into your soul. You cannot hide, Frank. We SEE you.

You're onto a thought that Dostoyevsky explores, especially in "The Idiot." “There is something at the bottom of every new human thought, every thought of genius, or even every earnest thought that springs up in any brain, which can never be communicated to others, even if one were to write volumes about it and were explaining one's idea for thirty-five years; there's something left which cannot be induced to emerge from your brain, and remains with you forever; and with it you will die, without communicating to anyone perhaps the most important of your ideas.”

For me, I think it's important to keep those inner parts, thoughts and feelings private. I do so because I honor them as sacred, and if I do wish to reveal some of those aspects of myself, I'll do so with individuals who are able to appreciate and connect with me on that level of depth.

Noone knows me 100%. I don't think I even know me 100%. That being said, I think it is unnecessary to show all that you are consciously aware of about yourself to everyone. It is, quite frankly, noone's business what is in a person's mind, heart, and spirit unless the person has chosen to disclose it. Any pre-emptive outside understanding can be perceived as intrusive. I think for social reasons, it is good to "present well". It's not "being fake". It is being respectful of the people around you and it is also being protective of those precious, delicate, tenderized innermost regions of the Self. Those parts should be saved for people who either need to know it or you deeply trust and love.

James Franco... You are the male version of me. When you talked about how you carry around a lot of anger but people perceive you differently resonated. I’ve watched a few other infj videos on RU-vid and yours are the best. (Mainly because your the first actual infj to talk about being an infj)

It’s funny cause I’ve always felt like people don’t see my deeper intricacies. And yet with my INFP girlfriend we’ll be talking about something and she’ll be like “I know” and I’m usually flattered and in awe rhat she takes the time to understand me so well

The only one who knows me perfectly is Amazon. It knows all my hobbies, musical taste, movie genres, favorite haircare products, and other interests. I don't need or even want to share everything with another person. That would take too long to do and would be too tedious. Besides, a little mystery is fun. Also, I got tired of the judgements. I'd say I liked something or am taking a class in a favorite subject, and the person I shared the info with would say something similar to, "You like that kind of stuff?" Like they were embarrassed for me. Now, you hear crap like that often enough from family and friends and the doors just close. I told a relative I was a tech writer and loved it. First thing out of her mouth was that it sounded boring. That's not what you say to someone ever. So obviously I don't share anything with her.

Even those closest to me see the side of me tailored to them. They see the parts of me that I believe will positively impact them... Those around me also have very different ideas of who I am, and none are innately 'wrong' or untrue to who I am. The people who have seen the 'most' of me are probably the ones who are most confused by me. As an INFJ, I'm a walking contradiction. Most often I combat this confusion by isolating aspects of my personality to certain people or situations. I could only be my 100% self with an INFJ, I know this, but my chaos alone can be unbearable; I can hardly imagine the chaos of two.

The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.

I certainly walk around feeling like I see more in other people than they see in themselves. The misogynist who actually just resents his mom and misses his dad. The strong female manager with her shit together that's still trying to prove she has her shit together. I usually feel like I know myself better, and know others better than than they know me or themselves. But, I don't have the illusion that I'm hiding any part of myself from anyone else. I suppose I feel more like... most other people aren't working as hard to understand me as I am to understand them. But, it is scary when someone shows they do understand you, and you didn't expect it. See: Brene Brown and Vulnerability

Some things are no one else's business- and that's ok! Lately I have been more straightforward with people, which is tough because I am a people pleaser and hate to disappoint. However, by being honest about who I am and what I believe, I give people the opportunity to like me or dislike me for who I really am 😊

"Where the tongue slips,it speaks the truth." Old Irish saying

Frank, I want you to make these candid-talk videos again. These. Helped. Me. I miss them.

Absolutely nobody on this planet knows me 100%. Not even a question.

We're never a complete, finished product, in my opinion. Too much self examination and introspection can lead to nauseating self- absorption. Less is more? Idk...

I think it is absolutely necessary to keep parts of yourself hidden from others. One example: a few years ago I had an experience that I believe was connected to a past life. I stumbled on something that triggered memories and emotions that there was no earthly for reason for me to care about at all. Now my family just happens to be the most narrow, shallow, dim-witted bunch you can imagine. For me to go share my experience with them would be a kind of suicide; like walking in front of a firing squad. No thanks. If I need to talk about that experience with another person, I'll find someone who has gone through something similar so I know I won't be judged for it. In all seriousness, when it comes to toxic people, the less they know the better.

As INFJs we all know by now that the world isn’t kind to us. Opening up all the way is just setting yourself up for suffering. Its just the way it’s always been, at least for me. It’s something I’ve learned to accept and deal with. It’s however, incredibly lonely.

I've been told by many that my personality is soooo BIG, the energy I put out is so strong some people can't handle it & that's when I'm being quiet. Constantly trying to "tone down" to make others more comfortable even when it's excruciating for me. It's exhausting.

WOW that title got me in my feels immediately. I had a mini anxiety attack last night that was in part prompted by this. I just don't feel fully seen, heard, or understood by anyone and it is tough. Thanks for sharing! It's nice to know that other humans feel misunderstood.

We know that the wildest and most moving dramas are played not in the theatre but in the hearts of ordinary men and women who pass by without exciting attention, and who betray to the world nothing of the conflicts that rage within them except possibly by a nervous breakdown. What is so difficult for the layman to grasp is the fact that in most cases the patients themselves have no suspicion whatever of the internecine war raging in their unconscious. If we remember that there are many people who understand nothing at all about themselves, we shall be less surprised at the realization that there are also people who are utterly unaware of their actual conflicts. C. G. Jung, Col Works, vol 7

As an INF, I would say everyone hides aspects of themselves. The difference is that others hide a situation, lie, personal trauma, etc. We feel like it's more to us because we are hiding emotions that are intertwined within our beings. We do not feel like we are lying or hiding, but rather just unseen. No one understands us. And not just a small part of us, but the core of us.

I would love to have a long, in-depth conversation about things like this with you! I think about this stuff all the time, trying to analyze why I’m so protective of myself and make it such a point to behave in a way that doesn’t give others too much insight into me, probably because I read people all the time, I’m paranoid they’re trying to figure me out, and that freaks me out

Maybe I don’t want anyone to know who I am, because then I will be perceived as that, and it isn’t true! The moment you identify with something is the moment you limit yourself 🐝

I hide parts of myself because i want to be anonymous to people, i just want to make a big change in this world, a positive influence but behind the scenes, obscure and such.

You make me feel anchored. Because you express that which is in me. Thank you.

"Maybe they'll be sad because they'll find out I'm not who they really think I am" Oof. Felt this so hard. It's like, "I don't want to make you feel bad about your own ability to judge/understand people, so it's probably just kinder for me to match your expectations/perceptions of who I am, rather than be my authentic, messy, human self and shatter your worldview". It's like ... I don't want to deprive other people of their reality by allowing my own, conflicting assessment to exist - or like, tell people they were wrong or crossed my boundaries, or hurt others through hypocrisy/self-delusion, so everything I say/do/think/feel do has to be congruent with all of the emotional/interpersonal data recieved from both myself and others at all times. And ... wow. That is ... super, super messsed up when you think about it. It's almost like being a walking museum - I'm open to the public, I would like people to come in and view the art, I would like people to enjoy the art and talk about the art and critique the art - but, respectfully, from behind the velvet rope. Please do not touch the art - the art is fragile and could be damaged by improper handling. I will cop to having some trust issues myself - and I recently realized that (for me, at least) it all boils down to respect (or, a quantifiable lackthereof). Like ... there is always a risk that someone who comes into the museum will jump the rope and set the art on fire - or just be thoughtless/negligent and smear their greasy peanut-butter finger-prints all over the Mona Lisa, despite the multiple signs which have specifically asked them not to do so. Sorry for the rambling - this video just resonated with me and I thought it might be helpful.

I have an issue with being too open. I like for everyone to know me for me, my flaws included. However, I keep the really dark stuff to myself unless I feel super close to the person. Like I said in a past video, I've shown my full, true self to a friend of mine who has passed but was unlike any other person I've ever met before. He accepted me for who I was and I accepted him. It was a truly great friendship. He would tell me when I was acting stupid in a very blunt way, but it wouldn't anger me because it was him, this guy who accepted me even if I'm dumb. I could tell him when he was acting dumb, etc. We never fought. It was just a really weird, yet great, friendship. I also showed my recent ex basically all of the horrors I have deep down, the things I've been through, etc. He wouldn't let me into his horror, though. I think he looked at me like a weirdo after I told him all I went through, but he wasn't an empathetic person. He'd even use some of the things I confided in him as ammo in fights, which I never in a million years assumed he would do (shows you how much I can see into his person). So, when we broke up, he stole my secrets away with him. I, too, have a lot of anger inside that I try not to express to other people, but it comes out in my dreams and just in horrible ways mentally, physically. Anger hides anxiety and sadness, though. Anger is a powerful feeling, so the body would prefer to feel this angry, powerful way than to feel sad, scared, and vulnerable. But all in all, it's a wall hiding things. However, most people AREN'T this open. Most people want to hide the flaws because they've more than likely been harassed about them in the past or fear how their friends, loved ones will react if shown. The truest friends will stay.

I met one person who knew 100%, gets difficult if you change but their perception doesn't. That's about it. I recently pushed myself to express myself more outwardly, and it's been rewarding. Also not everyone is understanding, you have to have extreme empathy to be able to understand everything about someone else without actually being them. Some people can't at all and most people are in between.

3:37 Hahaha I thought I was the only person who asked myself questions to challenge my own assertions...then answering my own question #INFJ

The concept of identity has been in my mind for so long. Even made a draft about it in twitter just a few hours ago before I saw this video (what a coincidence hahah). And after much confusion and pondering, I now settle with the thought that not one person, ourselves included, can gain a complete and thorough knowledge/understanding of our totality as human beings.

"You don't know me, I do what I want". - Eric Cartman

My guy friend of 8 years or so realized one day that he knows practically nothing about me but I know him and have witnessed a lot of things in his life. He said "You have a certain charm and mystery about you that you can't figure out" just last night and, while that's flattering and all, I feel like you said in 'playing a part' with everyone even my closest of friends. My family doesn't even really get me - i think my mom does see how much of a goofball I can be but I hide a lot of the bad from her and it's like that with everyone..like I'm some planet and from where they're positioned in my life they only ever get to see the side of me that's facing them. They expect me to be such an enigma or they have a definite view of me but honestly I feel hollow and even I have no idea who I really am. Feels like ppl create their character and have forced themselves to be who they are but I'm like an unorganized stack of likes and dislikes, unsorted junk mail, moods, and nerves.

when you said "you understand people well enough , that makes you not want to trust anybody" i felt that. that is exactly the reason i do not trust anyone.

This touched me to a spiritual and emotional level...never have I related to anything this much... thank you

*clicks thumbs up as video begins* I'm not sure if it's possible to know anyone 100%. I feel like humans are such complex creatures that there's always going to be something or some part we are unaware of.

Frank this is probably the best video you ever made for a weird reason I can't put my hands on it.

I love how you see so much insight while you're doing your videos. You have mastered introspection but you continue to question it. You have definitely taught me so much and I am grateful for you and your content!

This is a really interesting topic. A lyric from The Verve pops into my head almost on the daily: "I'm a million different people from one day to the next". For me, it's not so much a case of hiding the last 5% or 2% from people, it's actually being an entirely different person with different people. This is made worse by speaking two languages and feeling like I have two personalities, French and English, and then a million different iterations of those two personalities depending on who I'm talking to. I'd like to be more steadfast. Cos it's a headf*** knowing who I actually am. p.s. Your voice is lovely.

My girl FJ - Really good analogy with the keys. But you know what? I believe it's okay, I let so many people see so much of me - but I keep me for me. And I need to do that. The tiny part of us that we guard and keep out of the prying eyes of the world is what's left of our innocence. The inner child who reminds us of what we need for ourselves and what we won't compromise ourselves for. The reason we don't share it - it doesn't matter to anyone else. It's just for ourselves.

"Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known" (1 Corinthians 13:12)

I just came across this today and it made me cry. I've tried to explain this to so many people over the years and I never can. Thank you for letting me know that someone understands ❤

The way you talk makes me think about myself. It looks like you know what you want to say but at the same time you seem a bit lost while expressing yourself, maybe because you can't find the exact words to explain how you think/feel. As an INFJ I never trust people a hundred percent also. I don't reveal some parts of who I am as a way of protecting myself and not being vulnerable.

I am not what you think I am. You are what you think I am.

As I was listening I had this wonderful sense of peace. There is no one who knows all of me. It is comforting to know I have parts of me that are only mine. Like a cute little bird only I share with myself or inside jokes I have with just me. If I want to share them I will. But I don’t have to. I love the different parts of me inside each door and it’s taken most of my life to say that. On the point about our complex specialness, I think we are all amazingly unique. There is no one who has lived or will live that is exactly like me and that is true about everyone. We are indeed special but not more so than anyone else. Great talk. This one really got my brain a-flowing! Thank you

So freaking emotional now just seeing there is another person out there like me

Absolutely no one 'knows' anyone and no one 'knows' themselves because there is no such thing as the 'self'. We are a moment in time and space, jumping from moment to moment, different everytime with the illusion of consistency following us around. Without this great important fallacy, we'd all go mad and be unable to do the thing we're here to do, experience.

“All the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely players”. Is that what you were thinking of? Your vlogs are so thought provoking.

No one knows 100% of another person. 99% of people don't know 100% of themselves!

This resonates with me. Thank you, James

Open to a point, and it's a different point depending on the relationship. God alone can know us fully.

I don't know the real me, 100% 🤷‍♀️

Ever write a long comment and end up deleting it anyway cuz it’s so convoluted that no one will understand? Yes.

You are getting me through a lot of stuff. I don't feel like I've ever belonged.. But you talk to my soul. Thank you!!

I think that when it comes to things that we can't touch, there is no such thing as 100%... usually not even near it.

This resonates on every level. I just wrote a blog entry about this exact thing a few days ago - the "issue of authenticity". I believe deep down it's a fear of being rejected/unloved/unappreciated if we show ourselves 100%. I also believe that that's what our soul truly desires - a deep communion and intimacy with another... That is only truly possible with God, but we want to replicate that same thing with another human being, and it's very hard! Because we naturally understand and know that people are fallible and that they/we aren't truly capable of unconditional love the way we want and need it... I think that's where the difficulty lies - letting ourselves be "seen" intimately by another human being, knowing that they will probably screw up and hurt us in some way sooner or later. That's why it's so hard to truly open up. But we also deeply long for it, because we were made for that kind of intimacy in the first place and we feel unfulfilled when we don't have it. At the end of the day, we all want to feel special and wanted, and that can only be possible if we feel like we are *known* and seen for who we are 100%... God bless you! You are not alone.

I'm at point where I can't trust others anymore nor have energy to hold relationship...buuuut ppl like you FJ are always welcome. I really love your way of thinking... making lot of sense! Let's be bff

I don’t think there’s as much choice in it as you talk about. Different people bring out different aspects of who we are, and since there is no perfectly compatible person, nobody is designed to bring out every single aspect of ourselves. That’s why we have to choose those who bring out the parts of ourselves that feel authentic and that we like

"No one knows all of me" , the first time I understood this concept, I just assumed that everybody is like that. It is healthy to keep some of yourself from everyone, that is for yourself not necessarily for the world. Maybe my perception is a skewed?

There are people in my life who could be classified as “strangers “ yet know more about me than my own family. Actually they understand me better than my own family. Isn’t this ironic

What I've discovered through getting to know myself better is that people-pleasing manifests in many ways. One way that I have realized it in myself is that because as an intuitive, extroverted- feeler, I not only read people, but I automatically fill in the deficits other people are experiencing with their subconscious needs (growth, love and connection, significance, contribution, novelty, certainty). So I don't show up entirely as myself with any of them. Instead, I show up as they need me to. The people-pleasing comes from unhealed wounds resulting in survival coping strategies usually developed in childhood that we don't even know we are using. It isn't a conscious effort to show up as the therapist for one friend, the comedian for another, the caretaker for someone else, and the intellectual for another without any of them ever seeing the different versions. It happens automatically with everyone, so when I step away from people I get to see the my most authentic self, but it can be very hard to know who that is when we are more present with others than we are ourselves. Now that I am present with myself (my feelings and my body), I catch myself quite a bit when I start to show up as the cheerleader or whatever a person is needing. Accepting that we are so adaptable can help us be more true to ourselves.

Those "little bits" that we keep to ourselves often grow in number and depth the more we age. Yes, its true and this is what happens.

I think there are aspects of ourselves even WE don't know. It's through discovering these that we continually grow and change.

I agree, no one ever sees the real you, and I'd go as far as saying that we ourselves don't have all of the keys to our own doors. Misperception of self is very common, just due to the fact that we confuse who we want to be and how we want to appear to others with our authentic self. I think only God can truly know us in all of our fullness, and through having a universal lens in which we look at ourselves we can more better perceive ourselves, and then all that we thought we are kinda falls away, while we simultaneously gain, or realize the self that was always there that we never acknowledged or recognized. There are parts of myself that I have been ignorant towards that hadn't been made plain to me until I saw myself from God's perspective. I also don't think who we are is like a set thing, but a journey. I'm constantly morphing and growing into a different me every day, but I'm growing into my original purpose of me, like undoing all that is or that I've perceived is, to become what always was.

It's not a trust issue it's a lack of vulnerability at the expense of authenticity, in the moment, in retrospect. Communicating can be exhausting, time consuming and begs the question what's the point to communicate in the moment, being pinned in the future as a possible issue. So...developing a sense of humor about this all becomes apparent. Because communicating takes two, and it's not all about us. As for being special in this regard, perhaps. I've lived 60+ years NOT knowing I' an INFJ and yes, now I know and thank you for illuminating my weirdness as normal and relateable. What more can I ask for. A friend of over 40 years, when I said, I was offended over some third party event, stated "I've never seen you offended" Who is delusional, me or her. We're not hiding, we're keeping the peace baby, and sometimes what we have to say just bores the crap out of others. Like this post. lol.

This guy seems so pure. I hope he’s doing well

I don't think everyone gets to see everything about anyone ever. Especially if you are introvert. I am an authentic person. Honest and trustworthy, forthcoming. I am a private individual, as in I value privacy and dislike the spotlight. I don't hide any parts of myself. I am clear and open about who I am and what I stand for. My actions match my words. I am who i say I am. I am adaptable and versatile. I have eclectic taste, easy going, usually quiet and thoughtful. I have been through narcisstic abuse where I was gang stalked by someone who was assassinating my character. Nothing will make you defend your identity and individuality more than narcisstic abuse. Of course people know me, but there are certain toxic individuals out there who should know me but have painted a different picture through propaganda and character assassination. I never listen to such things when I hear it about other people. I also don't judge others' experiences. I get to know people on their own merits and i am not easily, if at all, fooled. I am a divorced Christian mother of two daughters. Heterosexual. Highly individualistic. Patriotic but not political. Of course INFJ. I value freedoms and liberty for all without bias prejudice or hatred. That's me. My question is, if someone believes the lies about me and doesn't bother to get to know me on my own merits as i am willing to do for them, should i really offer them that much of myself? I will go ahead and answer, No. I won't. And I also don't think very much of their integrity or intellect either. I think trust is earned by degrees. Just like respect and friendship. Most people are good at heart. I can get along with almost anyone but I can't hang out casually with everyone, that's where the degree graduates upward a notch. I like most everyone and I see the good in everyone, even when I probably shouldn't. Everyone has special, complex things about them. We all have similarities and differences. I appreciate both. The part of myself that I guard is the part of me that is reserved for that one man, a spiritual, emotional and physical closeness of sacred relationship. I don't get the cognitive bias thing. I think it's important to respect people, their identity, who they feel they are, who they are becoming, and who they want to be. When i say "who they want to be" i don't mean gender transformation. I believe that being who we want to be has to do with betgering ourselves emotionally, mentally and spifitually. I know who I am. I am basically the same person I have always been. I don't have an image, a mask, or a persona. I just adapt to my suuroundings and remain myself in each one. As a person, I have learned more, become stronger as I've gotten older. That's about it. I have noticed some things about those who are gaslighting, they deny reality. I treat people the way I would like to be treated. Gaslighters deny that. In fact, they deny reality completely. They lie habitually about the present and the past in order to control my future. "Perception" is always their excuse because they completely deny reality, facts, truth and actual history. I can't say I ever have given the keys to myself or the keys to anything to anyone. I am sure that there were some who thought they were given the keys, but as I said, they deny reality.

Hey, Frank 😊 I definitely identify with this video. I had somewhat of an identity crisis about a year ago- not due entirely to this tendancy, but it played a part. Mostly, it was due to losing myself in a toxic relationship and then acting unchanged around family and friends to prevent them from knowing how much I had changed over the course of this relationship. I'm in a much healthier place now. I have found that being honest and revealing yourself is an ongoing process. I have 2 people in my life that I share most of my deepest thoughts with. I'm always 99% open with at least one of them at a time- but never both at the same time for whatever reason. I do think it's okay to keep some things to yourself. However, for the sake of sanity, I find it valuable to have someone who is incredibly trustworthy who knows most of you. Whereas before, I was an entirely different person to everyone in my life. I felt like I couldn't make the puzzle piece perceptions that I portrayed to them fit to make a picture that truly resembled me.

so far from your videos you've hit the nail on the head about intj/infj personality///it took me a long time to even realize that i'm intj/infj///all my life people saw my strengths and flaws and critiqued me as you described. be more outgoing and tolerant of lifes disappointments /stay away from over indulgence/don't overthink/self sabatoge/ try to stay in moment etc.//these videos are helpful and provide incite into being 2% of population.

It's so beautiful. I think the most keys a person's got of me, are 80.

I no longer feel I can be authentic with my friends and family I grew up with. I feel that everyone else has to keep up some sort of image now. And that's totally ok, but attacking me is part of the new image. So now strangers and new friends get to see all of the things I wish I could still show them.

I doesn't even know myself 100%, that's why things like therapy and meditation are crucial, they put you in front of mirrors (the therapist is an external mirror and meditation an internal one). People in my life knows bigger or smaller parts of me, it is like a light shining on an object, there will always be a part that cannot be lit up.

I can't believe how much I relate to your videos. I find myself laughing out loud because what your saying hits spot on with me. I've never been able to relate so well to information about INFJs. Keep up the good work!

Very good one is setting me free for my drive down the highway you make a lot of sense and all your things I really enjoy your network or whatever you want to call your Frank James videos thanks

Love your vids man, I actually follow your thought process very easily so it must speak to the INFJness. But yes I believe you hit the nail in the head. I too feel no one knows me 100% and I would argue no one knows anyone 100% without their explicit permission or if ever at all. Maybe it's the selfish genes way of protecting itself and it's psyche. And it's very possible we overestimate our abilities and under realize others.

This is so relevant for me right now. I'm realizing this exact thing. I hide parts of myself to protect myself. I think I even hide them from myself. I don't even know what I'm hiding! I'm starting to figure it out through meditation and dreams. I actually just woke up from a crazy dream that gave me so much clarity about myself. It was a hard truth and made me really uncomfortable but it's good because now I know this is something I need to work on. I am so thankful for this video, for you. I relate to you like whoa. I want to share some keys to each other's doors. I bet we would find some beautiful and macabre loveliness in some of our rooms. Stay cool and attractive, you delightful creature.

Watching u...having one moment of self enlightenment after another, quite stunning. The fact that u can do a video like this shows you’re open and trusting enough to actually give so much of the great parts of yourself to help others, to do the same.

Giving the radio edit of your inner world to somebody! Wow it resonated with me so much! Thanks Frank for the all videos 🙏🌸🩵

I think it’s as possible to know me 100% as it is to know anything 100%. People walk around with subjective screens through which they view the world. My words and actions get chewed up and interpreted through the experiences of others and I’m sure they pick and choose which parts of me they want to see. I have no control over how others perceive me, which sucks when I want to be known, but is also kind of liberating.

Up to 20k, great job at entertaining subjects! Keep up the good work & variety. "Live long & prosper, FJ." PS: 1 person does know the true me besides myself!

Totally understand your perspective on keeping certain parts of your life private

Best video ever! My brain has so many thoughts, I wish there was a way to get them on paper. It’s absolutely incredible that you, not only have this self understanding, but that you can reveal it! Not that it’s a secret but that you found a way to verbalize that which is so, so, so inner being. It’s intensely vulnerable!!!

This is my favorite video I’ve seen of yours! New fan!