History Summarized: Alcibiades 

The best part is Alcibiades was apparently good friends with Socrates, and there are not one, but SEVERAL paintings of Socrates straight-up dragging Alcibiades away from beds covered in women, which is, like, the most cartoonishly appropriate way I can imagine to sum up the relationship these two must have had.

The irony of Alcibiades is that everyone listened to him when no one should have, and no one listened to him when everyone should have.

You skipped over one of the greatest Alcibiades stories ever, As follows: *Alcibiades with his friends* Alcibiades: "Yo, guys, see that really rich, powerful, and important dude over there, Hipponicus? Bet that I can go and slap him across the head and get away with it?" Alcibiades' friends: "Yeah right dude, friggin dare you to pull that crap, we'll see what happens" Alcibiades: "Oh you'll see alright" *And so he goes and slaps this influential politician across the head* Everyone in the city: "Yo Alcibiades WHAT THE FUCK?" *One day later* *Alcibiades at the door of Hipponicus' house in a bathrobe* Hipponicus: "What the hell do you want Alcibiades" Alcibiades: "Well I felt really bad about the other day and wanted to make up for it" *Alcibiades completely disrobes, presenting his naked body to the man* Alcibiades: "Here, chastise me and make fun of me and stuff and we'll call it even" *Hipponicus, in complete awe of Alcibiades' no doubt jaw dropping figure immediately forgets any and all anger and resentment towards Alcibiades and publicly pardons him, and nearly immediately after give Alcibiades his daughter's hand in marriage* As a fun side scene, here's how I imagine that convo went: "But daaaad I don't want to marry him" "Sweetheart, if you saw his ass and abs believe me you'd be on board, trust me on this one, you'll thank me later"

This is what happens when your D&D character has 20 Charisma and 8 Wisdom.

Sometimes my brain cannot digest the fact that these are actual people that actually existed in history. If someone told me this out of the blue, I would absolutely think that they are messing around with me.

Didn't the Ancient Greeks think beauty meant the person was blessed by the gods? That might explain a great deal.

He's so convincing that he convinces history to look at him in a positive light because he's the worst traitor ever and everybody's like he's a genius *clap* *clap* We love him! 😂

Nicias "hey, I think that's not a great Idea Alcibiades, maybe we-" Alcibiades "oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the DEAFENING SOUND OF MY OWN AWESOMENESS!"

In 9th grade, for the ancient civilization history final, we had to decide if Odysseus or Alcibiades was the most important figure covered in the winter term. I was the only person who wrote 10 pages on Alcibiades and the Sicilian expedition. My teacher found this hilarious.

What I got from this video: Blue has a crush on Henry Cavill

Is this the same Alcibiades that Socrates was totally crushing on and went on and on about in the Republic?

He's the first troll in recorded history.

Going through AC Oydessy right now. Every time I get a quest from Alcibiades, I have a tendency to mutter "you got it, Alcibiades" to absolutely nobody in particular.

"Going around whispering marshmallow and murdering everybody"

I was trying to look up Alkibiades' quests for assassins creed Odyssey because I want the whole armor set and found this. So I've been regularly sleeping with THIS MAN??

Throughout this video, I just kept hearing and seeing Alcibiades as Archer. Especially with the "Still gorgeous. Always have been, always will be."

"MARSHMELLOW DON'T KILL ME!!!!!" And those were his last words.

Chaotic Neutrals gotta keep their options open.

The phrase "the man, the myth, the legend" was made just so we had a way of describing Alcibiades.

"Patroclus was his first boyfriend" Achilles is pissed.

The way Blue tells it, feels like Nicias is the only aroace in a Mediterranean of disaster bisexuals falling all over themselves for Alcibiades. Love it.

Alcibiades is like the bard in D&D that solves all his problems with charm and sex. Nickus is like the wizard trying to be logical.

...you do realize by making the video....that you are doing exactly what Alcibiades would want...oh my god...HIS INFLUENCE HAS REACHED BEYOND THE GRAVE!!! DAMN YOU, ALCIBIADES!!!!!!

Alcibiades has always amazed me...he always acquired power with so many different enemies...Athens, Sparta, Persia...and the people loved him...I'm not sure even the assassins even really wanted him dead...I pretty sure he single handedly kept the war going for as long as is it did...way to smart and too selfish for his own good...if he stuck with one super power he would have been much more successful... definitely one of kind...I'm sure Alexander learned much from him

Something tells me that Alcibiades is the distant ancestor of Robert Walpole.

Can't believe how accurate AC:Od makes him

You can meet and sleep with him in 'Assassin's Creed Odyssey.'

"Hm, Alcibiades, there's a name I haven't heard of before" and now it's a name I'll never forget. Or at least I'll remember the stuff that happened to him. I'm having such a fun time digging through all your videos; I found you through Trope Talk but have discovered that these Summarized videos are pure gold. So far my favorites have been this, the rise of Islam, and the Journey to the West. And Cu Chulainn. There's just so much good stuff that I'd either known of but not much about or, in this case, nothing about at all, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. Cheers

Alcibiades is the kinda historical figure people think MUST be made up, until you reveal he was real.

alcibiadies has a high charisma level and a cheat code activated to do all that

I kind of want a movie about Alcibiades with Henry Cavill in the titular role now.

As someone who really hates how much history tends to focus on specific figures rather than larger political, economic, and cultural trends, Alcibiades is one of the few exceptions where he absolutely deserves the focus given to him.

I wouldn't be surprised if, had Alcibiades stayed with the expedition in Siciliy, he would have succeeded in rallying all those town to their cause because he was just that gorgeous.

the concept of the dorian war chant being a bunch of dudes yelling “LET’S F***** GO BOYS” over and over again utterly killed me killed the athenians to though

Lmao, Everywhere And Nowhere's depiction of Alcibiades is spot on

"Where have you been now, Socrates? Ah, but of course you have been in chase of Alcibiades and his youthful beauty!" Literally the introduction sentences of the Protagoras, one of Socrates' surviving works... If that doesn't tell you anything about the man, I don't know what does.

I have a mythical theory that Alcibiades was actually Hermes playing a cruel joke or Loki raising chaos and fucking half the land

Charisma: 30 Intelligence: 12 Wisdom: 2

2:42 "So Athens devoted the next three turns to production" I chuckled.

I kinda want the story of Alcibiades' son with the Spartan Queen. Or any offspring of this guy.

I was thinking of Blue using his Alcibiades voice to say cheezy pickup lines in bars, but then I remembered he's married. So now I think of Blue defending his doctoral dissertation using his Alcibiades voice..."My dissertation is on domes, and these domes are georgeous, almost as georgeous as Alcibiades..."

I forgot that Blue used Henry Cavil as Alcibiades and I died every time he came on screen.

Okay, this had bothered me, then in an unrelated thing for an ancient history class I'm taking, it came up again, the reason Alcibiades was prosecuted in Athens just before and during the Sicilian expedition wasn't because he participated in mutilating the Herms. He likely didn't have much to do with that, but as they were investigating that, they found out through servants and slaves that he had participated in a parody of the Eleusian Mysteries, which, to put it mildly, was a massive fucking deal and very much something the Athenians felt justified the death penalty. Sacrilege was a really serious crime for ancient greeks, it wasn't just putting yourself at risk of a god's wrath, but anyone who didn't punish you might also be hurt by the god, if said deity thought you were complicit

Still 100% one of the most entertaining history videos ever

So this entire part of greek history was a gigantic sitcom :P

Percy Jackson fans, doesn't this sound exactly like charmspeak? He's totally a son of Aphrodite

This was seriously the best story retelling I've come across in ages. You totally sold him and his dopeness - that guy was so gangsta

so basically, he had charmspeak abilites? *hears Red screaming in distance* i'll. . . . . . . . go now. . . . . . .

*History Channel logo comes up* Me: Wait, are you saying that Alcibiades is an alien?

He is the Mary Sue of history

he went to go help in the siege of phocaea, not take a bathroom break LOL but I like your version way better

He sounds like someone’s high charisma D&D character.

Going back to watch this episode is especially interesting since I read the comic Everywhere & Nowhere

Alcibiades, also know as "That Guy"

“Hey, i’m Gorgeous, Love me.” Okay.”

I really couldn't stand how School of Life blamed him for Athen's disasters and called him a demagogue. I mean, he was one but the man knew how to get shit done. It was hardly his fault that the Athenians decided to pull highschool drama on him.

Hermocrates was pretty awesome as well, forgot the exact details, but during Peloponnesian war, when Athenians were camping/about to leave because they were losing, Hermocrates was about to make roadblocks but was denied by higher ups. So he sent "informants" to Athenians, saying that "There's totally roadblocks, you can't leave for few days." And Athenians bought it and Hermocrates built the roadblocks next day! :D

I was reading everywhere and nowhere and decided to look up Alcibiades because he’s my favorite character... I did not expect the comic to be this accurate LOL

If this guy was as charismatic as you claim that terrible idea of marching across the island and gathering troops might have worked. He was completely banking on being able to use his mind control powers.

Alcibiades is the source of every bard character in D&D

this has always been one my favorites. it's a channel classic

3:04 omgomgomg That used to be my favorite painting!! I live right by the gallery it's in, and when I was little, my best friend and I would stare at it, I'm not sure why, but we just really liked it!

Clearly this guy was the party Bard in a D&D game Zues was running

the story of a man that put all his stats point into Charisma and then run a lucky streak of natural 20 in persuasion and deception roll... nicely played Alcibiades.

"Athens devoted the next 3 turns to production" that fucking killed me

I dunno if you read comments anymore this far back, Blue, but I aced an interview today in which I had to give a presentation off the dome on a random topic that turned out to be "any ruler/statesman" and leaned into/stole HEAVILY from this video. I guess I'll be subbing on Patreon as a way of buying you a frosty beverage of your choice.

I am actually curious you didn’t bring up Socrates

I just want Alcibiades illegitimate son on a t-shirt. That was beautiful omygosh

How did u not mention he became general in 420 bc...... 420!!!! ...he knew

good old storytelling at its finest, just listening to the audio you can imagine everything

I came back to this masterpiece of yours after reading Alkibiades by Ilja Leonard Pfeiffer, actually one of the best pieces of historical fiction I've ever read. Hope they translate it to English sometime. It's crazy how you managed to almost get every detail in that 700+ page book into a snappy 15 minute video!

It is 1:32 am and I have decided to binge all of Blue's videos and I love that it feels like I'm having a conversation with this dude like it's so chill and comedic and I love it so much

From the afterlife, Alcibiades takes a look at his historical legacy. He thinks "I had a truly great life... where is my role as a great leader and?... CRAP! My life is in the dark comedy section? How?" *continues reading* "Oh... they caught all that? No wonder my life sucks here and I am spending eternity in a fool's motley."

Just met Alkibiades In AC Odyssey and he is EXACTLY as you described him! 🤣

There should be a series or movie trilogy about this guy.

How do I explain that this five-year-old video is my entire sense of humour?

I hope you're proud that this is the only way I can imagine Alcibiades' appearance, even after at least half a year after watching this video. I was reading Wikipedia, minding my own business, thinking "Who's this Alcibiades dude again?", and as I'm clicking the link BAM! Henry Cavill with anime eyes! I'd be upset, but Henry Cavill.

Blue, Alcibides is in the webtoons comic Everywhere and Nowhere. Your video helped it make alot more sense for me. Thank you.

Aaah I'm so glad you did this video! I read the webtoon Everywhere & Nowhere and i love Alcibiades!!! So I'm glad to know more actually about him!

the tried to siege a city that is on the coast..... near water.......> with Large ships......brilliant. I think the counter walls were made just to insult the attackers, because Spartans had a great sense of humor; Although if you don,t know what i am talking about here is a example. A messenger was then sent to Leonidas’ general, reporting the refusal and threatening, “Our arrows will block out the sun”. Leonidas’ general retorted, “Then we shall have our battle in the shade!”

Holy Mother Kali, I just found a picture of a statue of this guy, and Blue's not kidding: he's like Collin Farrell in "Alexander" meets Michelangelo's David. If that thing was true to life, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM.

I watched an episode of Star Trek after i watched this and realised that Alcibiades is like the original Captain Kirk... haha

Also, one day he cut the tail of his dog just so that people would gossip about him. See, that's the kind of behaviour that should tell you : "let's NOT give that man any critical reponsablity". It would be a better world if work ed like that.

This is the best video that Blue has ever made. Evidence: HIS ADMISSION AND HENRY CAVIL AS THE WITCHER

I rewatch this way too often. Solid comedy gold

I know this man from everywhere & Nowhere and I only have love for this man.

Alcibiades has to be, by far, the favorite person I learned about in Ancient History. Nice vid!

Great job on the video

Props to this man for playing Chopin. God bless you.

Guy: "Hey, Boss said we should go fight the Spartans, right?" The Other Guy: "Yup" Couldn't stop laughing at this line as well as the build-up to it. Great stuff.

I had to look this up after reading Merryweathery's Everywhere & Nowhere

If you like Alcibiades, go read the webtoon Everywhere and Nowhere, he’s essentially a side character in a story about two time travelling Shakespearean-inspired characters It’s great

I want a thing on Athens' Trickiest Citizen, Themistocles. Winner of the Battle of Salamis

I started cracking up as soon as I saw him in AC Oddyssey having already viewed this video.

Definitely the best video on this channel... :D

The music in the background is Chopin ballade nr 4 in f minor

TIL the guy who “de-Herm’d the Herms” was a GENERAL who was supposed to GO WITH THEM to Sicily. And he was the ONLY ONE decent enough to *actually* have a plan they might have been able to, you know…do

Alcibiades had to have used the "I'm secretly Zeus" card at least once in his lifetime.

Wow. Thank you Prof. Samons for educating Blue on great pronunciation and the aspects of Greek artwork and mythology they NEVER tell you about in K-12 English classes, never mind most history books (in detail anyway).

btw, I want to note that this whole time Socates is alive in Athens just streaming at the Oligarchs