Such a tactful way to say “don’t bring your kid’s”! And yes, weight is a sensitive one. Some of us go through phases in life where we don’t care about weight.
What a fresh polite presentation! I'm finding several spot on videos from you for all social aspects of life! Imagine a school tutorial for students in all phases of our education levels, middle school to high to college graduation. The rules don't change. Our environment does.
Would love for you to do a video on posture, walking, sitting, standing correctly. Love your etiquette videos. Also, a video for hairstyles and clothing styles for your face and body type would be awesome!
It's so helpful to know how to improve on hosting! Thank you, I've always followed my gut, but it's good to have a few tools and formal skill sets in place. Much appreciated.
Great tips!! Wow!! I learned so much! And I love what you said about pets! I can’t stand going to someone’s house, eating and having a dog around begging and being annoying! Thanks! 🥰
Hey Tracy and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This video is very educational and you provided excellent tips. I am hosting my Christmas Day dinner with my family, this year, and thank you for educating me to the point of success. Thank you for the "Party Tips List" printable, which I'm printing out and will be referring to. I don't know HOW you do what you do, but you are one EXCELLENT RU-vidr. You are so smart and have such great ideas. Thank you for the knowledge that you spread to me and others. Although I don't comment very often, I still watch your videos and EVERY one of them are perfection! Love you, Tracy.
Great video! You've covered so many things I've wondered about, but that people don't generally talk about! I love all of the detailed thought you put into your talks. ❤
In France where I entertain a lot, there's a cue : THE orange juice. if things drag on, just ask : " Un jus d'orange ?" That orange juice suggestion means : it was nice but don't overstay. So once you've served it ( freshly squeezed of course !), your guests know that it's time to leave . They'll also appreciate it since it doesn't endanger their driving licence if they're stopped by the gendarmerie on their way back ! And gives a welcomed vitamin C boost !
Thank you Tracy for such a fantastic video! 🙌🏻 I love all your content is super useful! You're one of my favorite coach and also and excellent English teacher to me. Your videos are like classes for me, I always learn new vocabulary ! I am from Colombia 🇨🇴!🧡
I keep extra aprons in the kitchen for anybody that wants to help put away food after. Clothes are not cheap and can be ruined by contact with oils or foods. But have had guests that you can't run out of the kitchen no matter how politely you beg them to just leave something.
Tracy, could you clear this up for me? Should you compliment the food, or not? I read somewhere that if you do the host can find your comments offensive, because of course the food is wonderful! If you comment how good the food is, it’s like you are surprised, which could be offensive. By not making flattering comments, you are saying that you expected and received beautiful food. What’s your take on this one?
I have complimented hosts and hostesses on wonderful meals for 40 years. Never had a negative result. Delivery means everything. Tell how much you're enjoying it rather than appraising it.
Hi Joyce! I did address your question on Instagram Stories. Please reference that platform. I always compliment the host on something to do with the food that they worked so hard to prepare. I have never found my compliment to be taken negatively. I believe it is in the approach and words that you use. I host many dinners and parties and am always grateful for the compliments that I receive. I also address this in other videos.
I just wanted to say that I was informed once that I was to bring quiche for a church ladies' bruncheon; I'm vegetarian and would never eat quiche, but I did made an effort. I then decided that no one should have to smell my effort, let alone eat it, and I found a grocery store on the way that was willing to help me out by making an exception since it was for the church and make a quiche to order. I forgave the ladies' group (of which I am no longer a member) for neglecting to ask whether I was competent to make a quiche. I went above and beyond to do what was expected of me, my efforts were considered lacking, and I have no regrets. What do you think? I'd love to hear if I could have done better, and if so, how, because I feel like this request was a reasonable one that I should have been able, yet just didn't have it in me, to meet.
Thank you for sharing! I don't see any concern with the Quiche. The concern I have is why you agreed to making something that didn't work for you. This could have been avoided by your effective communicating. No one to blame in this matter, but yourself. Take the lesson and moving forward, speak up. Example: If I were contacted from the church to make Baklava, I would respond back with, "That's not going to happen. Please share some other dishes you are in need of." When the person shares what other preparations they are looking for, I would choose the one that I am the most experienced with. If I am not experienced with any, I would inform the person that I would be happy to order from a bakery or deli or provide drinks. Good Lesson learned.
I’m not the type of person who has friends who attend or host dinner parties or other similar events. I don’t know anybody who actually knows the proper etiquette for something like this and when I’ve tried hosting things before, regardless of how well I try to describe the general energy I’m trying to create for the event, people always show up very casual, bail last minute, and the plan completely does not go how I wanted it to. Do you have any advice for this? Should I somehow try to get my friends to learn etiquette for an event like this? Or should I try to make more new friends who already know how to do this? And where do I find them? I’m 19 years old, and I can’t tell whether my age group or generation just isn’t interested in the type of formality that I am, or if it’s just because I happen to be lower middle class and events like this are pretty out of my reach financially, and I tend to only meet people from a similar socioeconomic status, who also were never exposed to things like this before.
Hi Tracy you are a very good teacher.Whats the best topics to talk about at a dinner party I Know politics religion weight lost divorces and sex are topics you don't talk about The Roe vs.Wade and illnesses.I loves your videos keep them coming
Thank you. Asking others about them will always be received well. Ask about their children, grandchildren, vacations, etc. I have a video on the topic, 'How to be a People Person.'
Hi Monica! I apologize. I inserted the link to the corresponding blog post. The printable was already linked. Here is a direct link to the blog post: www.tracyhensel.com/2020/12/18/hosting-etiquette-how-to-be-a-savvy-host-dinner-party-tips-for-the-host/
If you go with the option of seating couples together, do you place them: man, woman, man woman...or...do you go with: man & woman, woman & man, man & woman, etc?
Great question! I generally seat in a fashion of man / woman / man / woman. But I will strategically seat a woman across from a woman and a man across from a man. I have found this seating arrangement to work out quite well in conversation flow. If children are at the gathering, I generally have a specific table set up for them, only. I decorate the table more kid-friendly and leave a little gift at each place setting. I also place a basket near the kids readily available clean up items - Paper towel, wipes, extra silverware (or plasticware) for items that may fall on the floor. I have found that seating children in between adults backfires. I rarely include very small children or children, at all - unless it is immediate family. I am not fond of children at cocktail or drinking events (example: wedding receptions or any gathering that goes past 8:00 p.m.)
Hi Tracy. Thank you for the video. It was excellent. My question relates to cell phone etiquette. I believe that cell phones should not be used around the dinner table. How would you, as a gracious host, kindly ask or make a statement that the dinner table is cell phone free. Thank you for answering.
Hi Tracy. Love the video! I noticed you make lists for your husband to do. I am a list person also. I make lists for my husband as well, and he is very good about completing them. We have been married about a year and a half. Other young wives complain about their husbands not doing anything, and when I tell them I make lists, they say they "aren't his mother" or "he should know what needs to be done". This sometimes deters me from making them as I don't want it to seem like I am nagging him, and I agree with the other wives that he should know what to do without a list (even though I make lists for myself also even though I know what needs to be done). My question is does Paul ever resent the lists after all your years of marriage? Do you ever feel like his "mother" or like he is a child when you make them for him?
Hi Kristina! Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the video. Great question on the To-do lists for husbands! I do not see from the same lens that you and your friends do. It does not mean my lens is right and I will be happy to explain. I'm sure a lot of my views on the topic come from a 29 year marriage. I will tackle this on Instagram Stories. Watch for my response on that platform. This would also make for a fantastic RU-vid Video. So many areas young wives can gain insight from. Thanks for your submission. It's a great question.
Hi Tracy, Asking on this video because it semi relates. Can you film a video and/or do a quick IG story on hosting gifts? You did the etiquette video where you say no flowers and mention bringing a bottle of alcohol (like wine or their preferred taste). Do you have other gift ideas? I would love to have a drawer of gifts that I can grab if needed in a pinch (like birthdays and gifts for hosts), but would love ideas to add. What triggered this, was I saw your IG story about the present you had available in a pinch. Would you mind sharing what you gifted?
Hi Sarah. Yes, next year I can publish a video as we approach the holiday's with more specifics. It would be too late this year. I would hope people wouldn't still be shopping. I have a lot gift guides to reference. There would be plenty of options in there. The gift that I delivered today had a Cashew gift set and a Holiday Jam and Crackers. I also have three white Christmas Tree Platters bagged, that I could give in a pinch. They are white and not geared towards a specific decor style. That's the most important thing to consider is others taste could be different than ours. Stay clear of trinkety items. Someone of my age typically is not going to love a bunch of little trinkety stuff. Thoughtful gifts with substance are more appreciated with most.
We've always had issues with people not wanting to leave even if we have an end time on the invite. What are some tactful ways of doing this? I hope you have gotten back to socializing as we have.
Hi Michelle, that's a tough one. Communicate in a savvy way with a compliment - Tactful is the key. For example, "Well Guys, we loved having you ... but unfortunately we have to call it a night, as we have to get up early tomorrow for ........................"
Hi! I am a new subscriber and I am so excited to have found your channel! My mother and my grandmother were who I turned to with all of my questions about proper etiquette but they are both gone now. I have not been able to find answers to a few of my questions as a hostess and I am hoping that I might be able to find the answers here. I am having an older couple for dinner and I know that the woman is a stickler for proper etiquette. I do not want to make any mistakes. I am serving a four course meal that will include a creamy chicken soup. Does the main course also need to be chicken, or is it alright to mix proteins throughout the meal? I will not have servers, other than my husband and myself. Do I serve the next course when I have finished or do I wait for my guests to finish before I get up to get the next course? Do I clear the entire table before serving dessert or should I have the dessert already at the table? Thank you for sharing all your tips! I look forward to viewing more of your videos!
Not sure if you addressed this already Tracy, how do you handle the situation if one of the guests bring their daughter even if you made it clear that it’s an adult party and no children are allowed? Thank you very much for another excellent video! 💕 🤗
Hi Nikki! While it's EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL that a guest would bring their daughter to an adult party, after you made it clear that children were not invited, I know that I would not want my other guests to witness me being upset or troubled. I would not bring the topic up in front of anyone, as this would not make me look good. However, if another guest were to pull me to the side and inquire as to why I let one of the guests bring their child, but not other guests, I would let that person know that I had communicated clearly to the person that I was hosting an adult party and to please leave children at home. But I would also ask that particular guest to not make a big deal out of the issue, out of respect for other guests and that it is not worth compromising the evening. I would not in the least bit have an attitude with the guest who brought their daughter, as that is a reflection of me, not her. My goal would be that the party goes on, as planned. When hosting future parties, however, I would reconsider whether I want to invite that same guest. If it's not family, there is a good chance that I wouldn't, as I would not want to send the signal that I tolerate being disrespected
Nikki, excellent question!!! When Tracy addressed this to answer your question yesterday, I thought about my personal bridal shower.... my matron of honor sent out invites and of course mentioned it was an adult only party, and my aunt walked in with my 10 year old cousin (did not let us know prior that she would be bringing her!) Talk about awkward!! We went about the evening normal and didn’t “tip toe” around things. It was a lingerie shower and we still enjoyed ourselves. But I’ll never forget my mom’s jaw dropping to the floor when they walked in. LOL! 😆
Thank you very much for answering this! I think I still need to do more work on setting my boundaries. When I am not sure in the future I will remind myself “what would Tracy do?” XO
My in-laws come 45 minutes early every time they come over. Is it ok to tell them a different time then everyone else? Or am I supposed to be ready that early anytime they are invited?
Hi Dawna, if you haven't yet, I would be truthful and come out wit what you really want to say. Politely ask your in-laws to please arrive at the designated time, as any time prior to that, you will be busy tying up loose ends to prepare for everyone's arrival. Add - "If I need you to come early for an extra hand, I will certainly let you know."
