I have made plenty of house of the dragon videos dissecting the characters and their motivations. To me otto and daemon are two sides of the same coin. They r both second sons that manipulate the women around them to get what they want which is the iron throne.
It's so funny how people romanticise them. It's so obvious for me he groomed her from young age so he could manipulate her and to be in the position of power. He absolutely isn't in love with her. I agree he has some family love to her and he respects that they both have valerian rooting, but they're not soulmates showrunners are trying to make of them. People will buy any garbage if it's properly presented. Unfortunately it shows how naive viewers are these days (they even completely ignore the books, where we can see more how calculated Daemon is). When people say he would never choke her in the books it really makes me laugh. Yes, there isn't any scene like that, but it's obvious that he is really capable of choking her even in the books, because he's worse there than in the show and he's simply a cruel egoist who wants power.
All your points are valid 😂😂 but the toxicity is why fans love them. It's the star crossed lovers thing. The allure of the bad boy. Daemon bringing out Rhae's dark side. The whole thing is very compelling television.