How Do I Kick My Mother-In-Law Out Of My House? 

😂 that’s admirable

I love your style.❤

That's what's wrong with the older generation. They've checked out and left the kids and grandkids when the world NEEDS the older folks up step up and HELP.

😂

I feel the same. I’ll help them when they need my help but I’m not going to burden them.

Probably shouldn't use them then to care for your kids all day free of charge.

@@barbaramartorana1598 - Yup, he's gonna have to trade having his home back and a lower electric bill for day care expenses. Worth it, even if day care is more than that electric bill. Less stress in the home.

American mentality is different

​@@fightsportspace7327 mil at home is common in Asia. So, op's comment is nonsense.

My sanity is more important my mental health I will not carry your burdens if they aren’t for me to carry, boundaries are healthy helping you parent is healthy what is not healthy is expecting someone to do everything for you at all times if you are healthy and have income adios!

I guess the fact that her selfishness that she could have blown your entire family to little bits didn’t mean a dad-gum thing. Good riddance to that kettle of fish!

@@NewLifestyleMentor M.I.L. had TWO cryo-tanks of LIQUID oxygen (20 liters each!) in the house. Tube from tanks to her is clear vinyl (burns easily in REGULAR air). I had mentioned before that I'd smelled smoke, got fussed at, was told I was "imagining it". I was working on the roof outside M.I.L.'s window, saw wisps of smoke coming out. Asked Dear Wife to take a look. PROBLEM SOLVED! M.I.L. & I had a good relationship prior to this, and then again after this. ONCE SHE WAS BACK IN HER OWN HOME!!!

Yeah, let her blow up her OWN home.

Wives..... as in plural 😮

Lol I caught that as well! @alan how many do you have? One is still " my wifes Mother" if it's MORE than one it IS "wives"

@@pnwadventurer802You’re being ridiculous. He says,” she” not “they”. One mother-in-law, no plural.

With MIL throwing out his business packages and him working from home most of the week, I don't think it will cost him too much more.

Sorry but i guess your bond wasnt strong to begin with

@@johndone8045 we had our own issues this was more so the straw that broke the camels back… She had hoarding issues, manipulative etc..

@@johndone8045 Don’t be so quick to judge. As Dave has mentioned, disagreements over in-laws are a strong indicator of divorce.

@@sirmodd6199 with the insight that you both have now, you guys considered reconciling?

@@MsMockingbird06 long story but yes… However doesn’t go thru.. Long story short her father died during the divorce so now it’s her, her mom & mid 30’s sister all together.. I just can’t.. I’m willing to invest in a property while we recover but all under the same roof no… They suffered from bad financial decisions and viewed us as “rich”.. And yeah.. you can fill in the rest..

Yeah... that's his wife's mother. I'm not too fond of him wanting her gone to save a few hundred dollars.

I believe he exaggerated the rise in bills. My hunch says he is lacking the attention that he may have been getting before the baby and the mother in law.

@@KhallelaB. i mean, I COMPLETELY understand wanting her out for non financial reasons. It’s a total privacy invasion. It sounds like he’s just naturally sick of it and is using money as an excuse.

The power is on twice as much with her there during the day. Also she might stay up much later and using electricity. However the bottom line is he wants her out😁

I’d rather pay a baby sitter than to have my space and privacy invaded by anyone

How did yall get her out?!

@@TYSniper I refused to let her in.

@@radolfkalis4041 Huh, interesting tactic. I'm currently trying to get my mom out who is going on to a year living with us.

@@radolfkalis4041 Exactly! I've made it clear to my husband that there will be NO moms in our marital home. He actually mentioned having both of our moms live with us. NOPE! He and his mom discussed this type of stuff long before I came along. I shut it down! I said you made those decisions as a single man, but you're married now. And I'm not having it!

btw, you had no choice may be that’s the reason as well. Nice to know though

Guess you've never lived with a narcissist or that living situation ceased as you got older. Everyone is different.

Buy another tv and go to the library. That is all just lazy.

You were a child, so not the same experience as long atenta having to deal with another adult crossing their boundaries. A lot of people instead of being grateful someone opened the door, are inconsiderate and don’t make sure to find ways to be helpful.

Grandparents aren't what they used to be. The "me generation" of the 70s are the old people now and they do nothing but cause problems.

Nit feeling safe doesn't mean only risk of physical harm. Not feeling safe encompasses numerous situations. It's a legitimate question.

It’s an obnoxiously overused phrase

@@pnwflipper2089 What's the issue with it though, other than it just personally annoys you?

Family dynamic definitely matters. Sometimes family does get old and needs help though, I know people who’s in laws are over 90, and need help because well they are 90, and cant get around well.

Men are different than women. Having a father in law there is different than having a mother in law. Two women under the same roof is a big NO!

@@VioletEvans-yt2fd I partially agree. I think it’s more likely to be problematic when a mother-in-law lives with their adult child’s family. SomI agree with you there. I love my mother very much, but if the roles were reversed, and she was the surviving parent, I would not be open to having her live with us. But I wouldn’t allow her to move in, period. My husband has an aunt who is a widow, and she lives with her daughter’s family... and they are all very close and get along well. It’s more about personality and character... but I cannot disagree that running a household is a woman’s role - and two women are less likely to successfully do that.

⁠@@TettyBoyFloydMaybe, but she can do the job. The other woman pic was good but too timid. You have to jump in like Jade does.

I LOVE Jade! She tells it like it is! So well qualified! Definitely knows what she’s talking about. She relates well to everyone also. Keep it going Jade! 🎉

@johnmills9360 - Response to mother-in-law: Then get YOUR OWN place to smoke in!

Wanting to smoke in a non-smokers house is outrageous! Outrageously outrageous.

800$ a month for daycare in east tennessee

Your peace is priceless. It doesn’t sound like he feels at peace in his home with her there. Home should be the one peaceful place that you have.

Somebody being around to pick up packages isn’t really a big deal lol

Stop having babies if you are going to gripe about "childcare". Little humans are cute, cuddly and costly.

She’s not keeping track of the packages that have arrived. He said he found two of the packages by the recycle bin.

I thought the same!!! One person can't be affecting the bill that darn much.

@@lcam9241my MiL has run the AC upstairs while the hear is going downstairs and with a window open! All at the same time in December! You don’t give crazy people enough credit. My MiL is too vain to change to lighter weight clothes when she gets hot. She wears a turtleneck in the middle of summer so her wrinkles don’t show. When you do things like that it does run with bill up very high

U should have left

@@leeboy244 . 😂 You don’t know how close I was but two sons and my loyal dogs kept me there.

That’s great you had somethings that made Ur worth fighting for. But Marriage is suppose to be a lifetime commitment for better or worse. God bless you for fighting for your family.May God bless you with many more good years.

And this is the issue. The resentment builds and that destroys the marriage vs a conversation or even an argument. Glad it worked out for you.

MILs are the absolute worst. Boundaries should’ve been set from the get go like bills etc

Who cares? He doesn’t want her there, it was a temporary setup … time to pack up and piss off

I'm sorry for what you went through. The fact that he didn't acknowledge the truth until after his mother passed was a betrayal. It was an extremely cruel thing to do to you. And he did it on purpose. :( Good luck.

Exactly

Yep, exactly.

You would complain too if you had to continue to pay for something you no longer wanted.

🤭🤭

😵‍💫🤣ouch!!

💯

thats your sense of humor. this funny to me

It's the "bro" thing that John does. I cannot understand why the Ramsey team continues to employ him - he is consistently WAAAAY off x

Don't you see how unfair it is when the husband has so much free time that the wife is essentially a single parent.

I swear I thought it was just our family goin thru this lol

I think he's not aware of how annoying it can be to have someone interrupt your workday. Childcare is work just like working from home is work. It also may be expensive to find a baby sitter to fit their schedules

I like that.

It’s not about the bills, he is just using that to justify getting rid of his MIL. He needs to be honest and just say he is tired of her living with him Periodt! She overstayed her welcome! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I get it, I personally could never live with my own parents, my mother would drive me crazy, she wants to be in your face talking all day. I like to unwind when I get home after cooking dinner. I guarantee his MIL does the same thing, they don’t have any privacy . Never let them in or it will be hard to ask them to move out. He needs to have a discussion with his wife and they set a date for her to move out together. They need to be on a United front and meet with MIL together, but let his wife do the talking, so she won’t chicken out and blame him for the decision. The decision needs to be mutual. This should be done after they figure out a fool proof childcare plan.

No that's so rude. Don't be disrespectful. You've wasted way more money than that in your life on nonsense, so don't lie that it's about money when it's not.

@@vetgirl71 often - when a parent moves in, the child regresses … seen it happen so many times. They change into a toddler - very unattractive. Also, having someone in ur space 24/7 is a recipe for issues and arguments. The MIL constantly weighing into every conversation, constantly questioning you. The “well we think this”… Hell, even the fact you gotta wear a shirt all the time … that annoys me. You want to have a shower - and she’s used all the hot water in the boiler.

lol…how is YOUR marriage going?

That was funny lol

Not over $300 dollars it don't

@@33ladyRAMI didn’t kno this was a thing with everyone cuz our utilities bills are up like crazy! Way more than $300 bucks and I live about 30-40 mins from nyc

@@33ladyRAM And it didn't double just from her either.

@@jimmymcgill6778 - no but if she is home all day that is a major contributor, and they are probably leaving the lights on and everything plugged in the walls as well. An increase over $300 is a major change somewhere it just doesn't happen overnight.

@@33ladyRAM Leaving every plugged in will not be that much. It still did not double just from her.

A short-term commitment should not become a long-term obligation for anyone without complete agreement.

Yes but the babysitter isn't related to you and doesn't live there

@@konye618 yes but watching the kids they can run up the same bills and cost way more they have a free live in babysitter it's only a problem with the husband because he makes it one

There are NOT great care homes out there , most are appalling , you need to spend 1500 dollars plus a week to get a half decent one

No most are bad plus who's paying for that​@christinebeames712

This caller is very ungrateful and has no respect for the grandmother who put her life at side to help babysitting FREE…

@@pm1756 exactly what I was thinking.

his house his decision. when he start to pay the child care bills and see other higher cost maybe he will reconsider.

@@shachede6828 If he changes his mind then then grandma needs to say NO to them using her like that. He can work harder to pay the child care bills and she should enjoy her retirement.

Not her house to speak

Agree. Been in her shoes. Asked to uproot my life to help set up a huge house & 12 kids. They wanted a chief, cook & bottle washer.. My 7 1/2 weeks earned me $1k (!!) & a new perspective on their issues that they will have to work out without me!

@@thedeels7522 Then they shouldn't be using her labor

Who cares what she got to say.... its Not her House and she ain't paying a damn bill...and at the end it's NOT her Marriage...its her kids Marriage and they got to do whats best for their marriage. Which is kick Moms out

​@@MrBigcnasty She is paying the child care bill by doing it for nothing. She therefore contributes.

Family dynamic definitely matters. Sometimes family does get old and needs help though, I know people who’s in laws are over 90, and need help because well they are 90, and cant get around well.

As a follow of Christ and knowing that the Bible is greatly promoting the importance of honoring family values and constantly worshipping Our Heavenly Father. And based on your comment, I just do not see how this conversation is so out of touch! The main conservation over here is about how to set healthy boundaries in a family setting and how to dealing appropriately and respectfully with family member’s relationship.

I did that, and had to disconnect it from the WiFi because all they had to do was ask Google to send the heat.

One that runs from your phone only maybe

Or set the house at a temp in the attic and the temp gauge in the house as a fake. She can change it all she wants. There are temp gauges that can be controlled by your phone or computer. You would receive notice if anyone tried to change it.

Exactly! Plus: both parents are working, so what’s better for the baby and the parents’ peace of mind: a loving grandmother taking care of her grand baby, or sending baby to childcare where strangers -making not a lot of money- babysit?

Yeah, I got irritated hearing that. I'm thinking he's trying too hard to come up with an angle to look at this from.

If he is calling because him and his wife can’t get on the same page or he doesn’t even know how to talk to her to go about it, then it is a marital issue. Lol

Freeloading? MIL came to provide free childcare and he complained about the bill because "she was in the house all day". He expected her to turn the heat off while there? They have a family member who dropped everything to come provide free labor for them and he is mad that they also can't get additional date nights out of her and that she actually uses electricity while in his house, gross.

@@barbaramartorana1598 Do you know a place where you can babysit for a few hours a day and have it cover your rent, food, and utilities? I didn't think so, she is freeloading if she is just running up their household expenses in exchange for labor that wouldn't cover those expenses.

When she's using that much electricity and gas and water that their bills are like Devils she's not being helpful she's being a burden both financially and mentally because of all the stress she's putting on them so yeah she needs to pack her bags and go don't know about your in-laws but my in-laws are a total burden I can't stand them and that's the case for most people unfortunately

Love my mama, and my kids&wife love her too. Can’t take one misunderstanding and amplify it. Forgive and grow together.

​@@wordsalad01u wish u have your own time if the kid is co sleeping

Those boxes are important to his business. You are minimizing their importance. Don't be an enabler. Her behavior is not good

Shut up. Old people do not respect their adult kids. I've seen it over and over. Y'all trample on your kids and then play the woe-is-me card, which is masking abuse.

And overly emotional.

@@camxdidxthat A man baby

He probably has a wife with a sound mind.

It's a real thing as utility cost has gone up. An apartment vs a house and the type of heating are also factors. My co-worker encountered the high utility bills.

Yes!! New York is completely cold in January and February. Florida 'rarely' ever needs the indoor heat turned on, even in the northern areas...

​​@@shaylaahava6413 I beg to differ about not needing the heat, though they probably do need less of it 😂 When I lived in south Florida, I was cold at 70 degrees, so on went the heat!!! We have acclimated to a more northern climate now, and the heat is usually set at 68-70 as I no longer freeze at 70 degrees 🤷🏻‍♀️ Though I 100% agree that MIL isn't the whole reason the bills have gone up. Unless she's running the heat very high, using every light in the house all day, and using every appliance continuously

@@PookysMom6 It's quite possible the MIL is the reason it went up so much. Depends on how they run things. Also, starting from a 40 F temperature difference (65 F inside on 25 F days), it takes a bit more than 25% more heat to get to a 50 F temperature difference (75 F inside on 25 F days). No exact numbers, mostly since it depends on insulation and airflow. A well-sealed home is closer to that 25% goal, but drafty homes are sometimes more like 50% more energy to raise the temperature by those 10 degrees. The other part is the "free" energy from solar heating (even if it's just a few degrees worth) plays a big part in reducing heat bills. Doubling the bills is quite possible, even tripling them if it goes from vacant-for-50-hours to occupied-24/7.

I agree. There’s almost no way the MIL could be driving that.

Agree

MIL may not even know she’s doing anything wrong.

Good for you

He is ignorant and self-centered. A baby is not going to lie there passively all day and require nothing. It is a full time job to take care of a baby.

@@KENTUCKYUSA1 pretty sure he knows that. Sheila (his wife) is a SAHM and an author. Delony is the least self centered guy such a humble soul and just an overall amazing guy. I have listened to him for three years straight and talked to him personally.

Facts he’s so far in left field smh!!!

It is now Spring.

@@amireallythatgrumpy6508 Grumpy, it will be spring on March 20. We are still using heat here and I burn propane too, just like this caller. Propane is hideously expensive this season compared to what we got used to paying. It more than doubled and even tripled in price. That's why this dude's heating and electric bills went up, not because of his free child-caregiver.

@@KENTUCKYUSA1 Incorrect. Spring is considered to begin on March 1st, not when the equinox occurs.

John always finds a way to tie it back to "i have a feeling there's something wrong in the marriage." Maybe in his experience literally everyone has problems in marriage? Not a good look for marriage as an institution, but thanks for the info, John!

It’s because she’s at the house all day and they’re used to turning it down when they’re gone at work and school.. He didn’t say she’s turning it up too high.

​@@genxx2724 The commenter you replied to didn't say anything about it being too high, just that she is touching it.

@@jamesseurat8679 The house is heated or cooled all day because she’s home. It’s not about being too low or too high. It’s that they’re used to not paying for utilities while the house is empty all day.

Facts that's a serious rule 💯 a dad rule

@@genxx2724 Your inability to grasp the fact that we are saying the same thing is infuriating. The person you replied to never said anything about her turning the temperature UP, just that the is touching the thermostat and causing the heat to be on when it normally wouldn't be. What do you not understand about what I'm saying? We are saying the same thing.